Screenshot Hoenn Teen Commentary Via Memory Lane VII: An Emerald Nostalgialocke

[SayleeK]

Spoiler: Replies

@Green Tea I need somebody to design me “Chu’s Team Rocket” posters. Time to use subliminal messaging to spread union propaganda!
Lilycove is by the sea, this was sort of a beach episode! I mean most episodes in Hoenn are a beach episode, but still
Everything looks better with a top hat and handlebar moustache, especially when they also get a lil bowtie!


@Time Master Eon I like having nonviolent things to do with my Pokemon… it’s just a shame that there isn’t yet a nonviolent path to story progression. It’s also really hard to get a Pokemon with a moveset that’s good for both battle and Contests, which is why Legends: Arceus’ movepool system is SO needed and I so hope makes the return for Scarlet and Violet!


@Spectacles we got some of Hoenn’s greatest earlygame hits in the Sapphire run, time to enjoy some of Hoenn’s lesser-known gems! Susan in particular has been such a delight, I never would have expected her to come this far and be so good!
I used to throw smarties at my brother while pretending they were pokeblocks… universal childhood experience XD


@bhelryss Pryce is waaaayyyy over at the right, he’s barely visible but the hairstyle’s a perfect match for his GSC sprite!
I have never met Didi the Pichu but I am SO proud of them, I’m sure they didn’t even have to appeal, the judges took one look and went “that’s a babey!” and started showering you in ribbons


@Nebbles Oh, they didn’t call Luvdisc loose! They called Luvdisc a reject from the Ann Summers catalogue! They called Smoochum loose!
...yeah we don’t miss the noughties at all


@songwithnosoul It’s more wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey, really (I still highly recommend the Chris Eccleston and David Tennant eras and, y’know what, Jodie Whittaker’s been fun, I’ll miss her when she goes)
When you mentioned a Pokemon ark I just imagined a ship packed with one of each of hundreds of kinds of Pokemon and one very beleaguered Ditto, and then I laughed, because I’m a bad person XD
Honestly, I’m amazed I got as high as second in the Contest, The Doctor might’ve had three Cool moves but they were not good Contest moves… but hey, we don’t need anyone to tell us how cool The Doctor is!
Just because I want to kick Brendan’s ass every time I see him doesn’t mean I’m willing to let Scott creep on him >:( I don’t just want to kick Scott’s ass every time I see him, I want to hit him with a shovel until he stops twitching, and Brendan is benefiting from this new weight on the end of my scale of distaste for annoying NPCs!
I liked Contests quite a bit as a kid—I also liked that we got to see them a fair bit in the anime, with May and Jessie competing in them. I dropped off of the anime a bit after getting into Sinnoh, but I remember really enjoying those Contest episodes <3

Hello and welcome back to my Emerald nostalgialocke! Last time, we destressed by taking in a Contest, beating up Brendan and going shopping. This time…

Spoiler: Part 17: This Is Pathetic!

I don’t even have kids yet, I have no excuse for buying as many dolls as I did when I was in Japan :v But I have infinite PC space for them ingame and a shitton of money, so—

OH GOD NEVER MIND NO THANK YOU

Have you seen Everything Everywhere All At Once? It’s the most movie ever made and instantly became a favourite for me

Oh, you’re a move tutor. No thanks. I don’t strategize enough to make use of that move.

Oh yeah, you guys are here. I should probably do something about that, huh

Thank Arceus for Fly. I’d better hang back until the TV crew are gone.

You’re damn right I do! Havenae seen any pirate simps around here, have you?

Relicanth hints? That’s another one I could never catch as a kid… these catch rates are too! Damn! Low!

Oh, yep, there they are, pathologically unable to effect a subtle getaway

Yep. Get used to it. There’s gonna be a whole lot of me again from hereon out.

I’ll give ‘em this, the synchronized diving is cute. You ever think you guys should make a gay swimming show instead of doing ocean crimes? You’d do numbers!

Anyway

You didn’t really do your job well as a guard, but at Team Rocket, we appreciate dedication to teamwork. God knows I need to get a baker’s dozen of Rocket grunts together to have a full braincell between them.

Wait, are these submarine blueprints? Were you trying to build your own before you gave up and stole one someone else made earlier?

My dude, you don’t even rate your own name, I don’t owe you shit. I sincerely doubt this is good enough, even by Archie’s low, low standards.

You should really stop doing that. I might take offense one of these days.

Your scary pupper isnae enough to scare off Susan. Though she be tiny wee, she is fierce.

And she doesn’t take kindly to folk interrupting her work.

Why don’t you have a Sharpedo? It wouldn’t save you from Susan, it just makes you feel so bog-standard if you don’t even have a water-type to your name

I mean, it’s not like you’re going anywhere until I do

I think I’ll rewild most of the cave system, but I might keep this office. It’s pretty sweet.

AFSDSGSFF DAD FIT YE DAEIN HERE

Honestly, dude, open-water swimming is pretty badass, don’t be so down on yourself!

SO IS THAT, GOOD CHOICE OF ‘MON, DAMN

Honestly, fair way to deal with your loneliness. Just be gracious in rejection and be careful not to chat up Katie Ledecky, because she will destroy your ego and not even notice she’s doing it because she’s too busy being Poseidon’s favourite daughter

Oh… you’re the guy I could’ve gotten a Water Stone for Victor from… :’(

I don’t know if I wanna chance Susan like that, but I’ll do my best

You know, for some reason I always assumed that Juan was the Sootopolis leader before Wallace and came back when he left to be champion, but now that I think of it, he could’ve just been, like, his sempai, and is in fact new as a leader, proudly waving off his kouhai to bigger and more fabulous things

Oh yeah, he lives here. With nobody watching, I probably could’ve stolen a Water Stone, if I still had Vic… :’(

No kidding! Who sends letters these days? (I mean, my dad does, but he's an old Luddite and he mainly writes to one specific friend who he's been exchanging letters with since the late eighties)

Oh, that was me! Really wasn’t that hard

You can’t see it in the sprite but he’s waggling his eyebrows in a truly obnoxious “hint hint” kinda way

I’ll check that out next time, I’ve done enough fighting numpties for today. Do you ever write letters anymore? I sometimes write letters to my dad because it makes him happy, but nobody else, really. I never know what to write in them, anyway, I just ramble :v Anyways, until next time, thanks for joining me, and haste ye back!

 

[Nebbles]

Oh geez, I can't remember the last time I wrote a letter... the most I do is write my friends holiday cards each season, but that's really it. I always include a little doodle in each one, though!

 

[Green Tea]

As a child, I always had to write "thank you" letters to the aunts/uncles/grandparents at birthdays and Christmases. Once I hit my teens and they stopped sending gifts, I stopped having to send letters back and that pretty much put a stop to it. Oddly enough, I received a hand-written letter today for the first time in forever, from an Amazon seller. They wanted me to leave a good review for their product... but it didn't work and I just chalked it up as a loss. Oops.

I love the idea of Wee Susan knowing dynamic punch. The one time I played Yellow version I taught the starterchu mega punch and it used it well. May the punching rodent god look upon Susan with the same good favour.

 

[Time Master Eon]

I've never actually written a letter, done practices for it in English class. but never actually sent one, never had anyone to send it to, (Possibly excluding Santa Claus but I don't remember.)

 

[bhelryss]

you know, if matt and archie ever did go in on a gay synchro swimming, they could probably get shelly to keep the books. she seems smart and savvy

it'd be a real success

archie, defending himself: if you can't get a homemade submarine, stolen is fine!!!!

i think matt is thinking strategically: he can't overshadow archie's sharpedo! he's gotta be a support boyfriend!

there's literaly so many water types tho. my man can't even get a seaking?!

that is a very nice office!!

my question is tho? what does rewilding a seacave look like that still lets you get to your interior manufactored space without damaging the recovering ecosystem?

my only experience with living caves has been interior landlocked ones, and they're very, very wet and fragile

people are real good at accidental damage

i actually came away from emerald thinking that wallace was the one who mentored juan? like, yes the dialogue states otherwise, but i sure thought wallace saw a well dressed older man and went "i have an idea"

i do still send letters! kind of

both sides of my family are Old South, so we're expected to turn out proper thank you cards upon the receipt of any gifts or else be labeled so ungrateful you never receive anything ever again. goes ditto with like, holiday cards

my ahnnie (grandmother, maternal) has a hard time with phones, so i've attempted to regularly send her letters but it's....not working so great (i, am bad at maintaining a correspondence)

i've meant to utilize letters to reconnect with my gay uncles now that we're all queer and here, but a guy gets nervous

i did try to start a penpalship with a few internet friends, but in an age of dms, that was just easier and cheaper on the postage

 

[songwithnosoul]

Spoiler: You all really live like this?

When you mentioned a Pokemon ark I just imagined a ship packed with one of each of hundreds of kinds of Pokemon and one very beleaguered Ditto, and then I laughed, because I’m a bad person XD

Oh noooo. I mean, I guess that'd be an efficient way to do it, if you don't mind inbreeding and the possibility of the Ditto going on strike...

I liked Contests quite a bit as a kid—I also liked that we got to see them a fair bit in the anime, with May and Jessie competing in them. I dropped off of the anime a bit after getting into Sinnoh, but I remember really enjoying those Contest episodes <3

Yeah, I vaguely remember that from the small amount of Hoenn anime I watched. It was a pretty neat element! They really embraced the chance to showcase something different with the Contests!

OH GOD NEVER MIND NO THANK YOU

Wow. Being a Trainer really doesn't pay well in Hoenn!

Oh, yep, there they are, pathologically unable to effect a subtle getaway

Note that Chu, unlike the people around her, isn't surprised at all.

I’ll give ‘em this, the synchronized diving is cute. You ever think you guys should make a gay swimming show instead of doing ocean crimes? You’d do numbers!

Ooh. That's a fun idea! And I notice that Chu has given up on trying to make Team Aqua into responsible environmentalists and just started recommending different careers entirely.

You didn’t really do your job well as a guard, but at Team Rocket, we appreciate dedication to teamwork. God knows I need to get a baker’s dozen of Rocket grunts together to have a full braincell between them.

Haha

Your scary pupper isnae enough to scare off Susan. Though she be tiny wee, she is fierce.

Aww! What a cute bruiser! Lookit her beat that Mightyena to death! She has no need of super-effective moves!

Why don’t you have a Sharpedo? It wouldn’t save you from Susan, it just makes you feel so bog-standard if you don’t even have a water-type to your name

Although it's still handy! And yeah, it's really bizarre that even Matt doesn't have a Sharpedo or some other intimidating water-type. That's pretty sad for a named Admin.

Honestly, dude, open-water swimming is pretty badass, don’t be so down on yourself!

I like how Chu's also giving pep-talks to randos. She's such a heartwarming crime-lord!

Oh… you’re the guy I could’ve gotten a Water Stone for Victor from… :’(

F.

I don’t know if I wanna chance Susan like that, but I’ll do my best

I love the idea of her punching her enemies into submission with her tiny blue paws! (Probably not Tate and Liza though.)

Oh yeah, he lives here. With nobody watching, I probably could’ve stolen a Water Stone, if I still had Vic… :’(

Hahaha

You can’t see it in the sprite but he’s waggling his eyebrows in a truly obnoxious “hint hint” kinda way

Haha

Do you ever write letters anymore? I sometimes write letters to my dad because it makes him happy, but nobody else, really. I never know what to write in them, anyway, I just ramble :v

lol, no. I'm already a terrible correspondent via electronic means, let alone the slower and far less convenience of physical letter-writing. In elementary school, my school and a school halfway across the country did do a penpal exchange, and my penpal and I sent sporadic physical letters into my early teens, but I think that's the last time I've ever written a physical letter.

 

[SayleeK]

Spoiler: Replies

@Nebbles I also like putting little stickers and doodles in my friends’ holiday cards… I got sooo many nice stickers in Japan and I’m still working through them :P


@Green Tea hah, same on the thank-you letters… thankfully these days my aunts and uncles are all plenty happy with a Whatsapp message at Christmas :P
I do love lil punchy guys! Did you ever have to do that physics exercise about calculating the force of an elephant’s foot on the ground vs a high heeled shoe? Wee Sue’s tiny fists are the point of that high heel


@Time Master Eon oh man, been so long since I wrote Santa letters… but we’d always leave them out in the front garden for the elves to pick up rather than posting them :P


@bhelryss Hey Aqua, bhelryss has a business plan for you! You should really take the advice. While you still can.
There’s ten billion water-types! Matt coulda had a TENTACRUEL! Come on, my man, represent!
Hmmm, maybe I should just dismantle the fancy office and put it back together in my secret base, then start dismantling non-loadbearing walls and flood the caves to make shit more accessible to wild Pokemon… after making sure there’s no plastics left lying around, of course! Any Aqua grunts who don’t leave in time, that’s on them
Luckily for me all my aunts and uncles are lazy and just wanna paypal me some money and get a whatsapp thank-you in response :P I did still write letters to my American grandparents from time to time, and we got them on Skype in their later days when they couldn’t read or hear super well. I used to keep up 100+ email chains with some folk, but haven’t really had one of those in a while… kind of a shame, social media sometimes feels like the friendship equivalent of going “oh, I live right by Arthur’s Seat, I can climb it anytime!” and then living in Edinburgh for four years without climbing it once


@songwithnosoul I just had A Concerning Thought because I was reading some shit about cat purebreeding the other day, checked bulbapedia, and… nope! As of Gen III, the game has NO tracking of which Pokemon were parented by which, so you can absolutely breed siblings and parents with children ingame! C’mon Game Freak this is how you with up with squash-faced Pokemon that can’t fucking breathe and collapsed pelvises!!! If the Contest halls are encouraging this shit I will burn them all down
Susan does one (1) thing (electrocute), and she does it so well she doesn’t NEED anything else XD
The way you quoted some screencaps made me realize that Matt and the male Swimmers are doing the same pose, it’s just that Matt is standing… do you think he used to be a Swimmer before he joined a gang and got swole? Makes it even weirder that he doesn’t have any water-types, though
When I was wee we did a penpal thing… but it was just with the kids in another primary school across town XD Especially weird since, now that I think about it, we’ve been twinned with a French town for ages and we started learning French in primary school… feel like it would’ve made classes a lot more interesting if we were putting together letters for our French penpals, y’know?

Hello and welcome back to my Emerald nostalgialocke! Last time, we cleaned out and claimed the Lilycove base. This time…

Spoiler: Part 18: Let There Be More Land!

Oh fuck’s sakes. I was feeling pretty good, up until now.

STOP. STALKING. CHILDREN. FUCK’S SAKES. I’m gonna have Marvin grind you into a fine paste. And if another one of you spawns like Kyubey, I’ll take great pleasure in killing him, too

Nope, but here’s six somethings that do! Kill

This looks about right to weigh down a body!

Forgot to mention it in Sapphire, I think, but the wish tag she refers to—well, it’s the tags on Jirachi’s head, in this Pokemon context, but those are references to tanzaku, the wee slips of paper that folk write wishes on during Tanabata. They’re usually brightly-coloured these days and used to decorate cuttings of bamboo, which are then either burned or let go in a river after the festival. The festival is to celebrate the celestial lovers, Orihime and Hikoboshi, who are currently stars and separated from each other by the river of the Milky Way except for one day a year. I had a couple of wee girls in my classes who were super into the story, and were inconsolable one year when Tanabata fell on an evening that turned out cloudy and rainy, thus, according to them, preventing the couple from getting to meet this year.
Anyway, that’s what Jirachi is about: wishing on stars in a somewhat more indirect way than the Western “look up, see star, wish” way. I headcanon that the story exists in the pokeverse, and they say that one of these annual reunions resulted in Jirachi, who is very babey, and who is looking for someone kind enough to wish on one of their tags for their parents’ reunion.

Alright, what the up is fuck in here

…yeah, can’t disagree that they very much should not have that

Holy shit, are you offering to do something useful? This is a big change for you, Stevie boy, I’m proud of you!
…This better be you looking to turn over a new leaf and not just you only giving a shit because you live here

And then this took me out at the knees. I am on the floor SCREAMING laughing at the beginning of this… threatening?… note. Oh my GOD, Maxie, are you fucking serious?!

Like, I’m sure this is meant to convey hyper-polite Japanese grammar, but the result in English is SO FUCKING FUNNY

Checking out the rest of the town, it looks like the old man with the somewhat ominous and unsettling locked door has now opened things up… not that I can make any use of it. Shame, this place looks pretty chill.

I’m exploring, I’m training up for the gym, I’m combination exploring and training up for the gym

NOT TODAY, APEP

Bad news for ya there, bub. Let’s learn a lesson about littering today, huh?

Always good to find free potion tokens!

Fuckin savage, wee man! She’s right here!

S O O N

Got curious about something that I wanted to check out… do people put their own nicknames in this or something? “Rad neighbour” is absolutely NOT what I’d call Brendan, unless we’re saying “rad” in, like, a Fallout way

Wally, you are the very best dude in all of Hoenn and I should really call you more often

While training, Marvin reaches U L T I M A T E T A N K

Well this looks familiar, huh

For once, that is in fact good information

Ah shit, forgot my Sheikah Slate

Hello beautiful!

I’m a bit more feart of heights now than I was when I was wee—when I was 10 or so, we went to the Leaning Tower of Pisa on a family trip, and my brother and I immediately ran to look right over the edge where you can see straight down to the ground, promptly giving our poor acrophobic father a heart attack XD Chu is still and eternally 10, however, and thus knows no fear

I feel like I’ve heard this story from the IRL Pacific Islands somewhere, but I can’t pin it down. Is the implication ingame that they were looking for Rayquaza…?

ABSOLUTELY NOT

No, I’m turning you down because it’s the worst idea anyone has ever had

Back to looking for folk to re-fight

Are there more punching bags in here?

Aw fuck, I forgot he’s got a room inspired by Blaine

I remember this because the specific nonsense of Azurill being pure Normal (and then half-Fairy after Gen VI) has tripped me up before

This is close to being a trick question

Tbh I just guessed this one because I refuse to do math when I’m here to have fun dammit, but luckily for me it’s a Blaine reference

I also did not check this at all, I was just button-mashing, but I’m glad to see that’s as viable a strategy in trivia quizzes as it is in Super Smash Brothers

Oh! I know this one bc I love Fortree! Four north of the gym, two south of it!

…is he taunting me? I’m gonna wreck his last couple of rooms when they go up

Alright, it’s just more grinding from here, nothing interesting to see. I’ll let you know how it goes next time. Until then, have you ever read or written a bit of Pokemon folklore that you really like? I wanna hear it, I love me some folklore! Until next time, thanks for joining me, and haste ye back!

 

[Green Tea]

Maxie's polite letter reads a lot like my seven year-old thank-you letters. Ultra-formal, ultra-polite... devoid of meaningful content.

Marvin was already a wrecking ball and a tank all in one. Evolving him seems almost unnecessary. It's like rhydon to rhyperior, who in their right minds thought that rhydon was lacking something? Eesh.

This quiz is a lot tougher than anything Blaine put together, but I do have to wonder how he knew that Professor Birch was being chased by a zigzagoon... or is it such a common occurrence that everyone's seen it at some point or another?

 

[Nebbles]

I always found Maxie's letter hysterical, and this just proves my point. What a strange little man he is.

I can't say I recall too much Pokemon folklore I've written ever, don't think I have, but I always did love every ounce of folklore and mythos in my beloved Johto and Sinnoh.

 

[bhelryss]

scott: i love strong trainers
strong trainers: always children somehow???

why aint you scopin out winona? norman? BRAWLY???

like, honestly? what about the winstrates? there's loads of strong trainers, but when we run into him he's like "ah yes, the strong but new"

ohhhhhhhh my god that jirachi hc is SO CUTE IM DYING

i love that so much....also those kids sound like they've got big hearts, that they care so much for these celestial lovers

honestly they probably do put in their own nicknames. this is the equivalent of handing over your actual phone and your friend putting in My Most Excellent Liege May/Brendan, The Way Coolest Always as their name

really stretching the letter limit there

hmmm i don't think i have written any folklore for pokemon? i do have a lot of fun repainting existing folklore things and tall tales into something a lot more native to pokemon

like, ohh boy, let me tell you about johnny applinseeds, and his failed march across unova and orre

OH WAIT I DO HAVE FOLKLORE

[chingling] successfully acclimated to a city environment and have been the subject of a winter festival pilgrimage since hisuian times. they say that the gods put chingling there on the slope of mount coronet to fill the depth of winter with heavently ringing to beat back the darkness of the forgotten one

 

[songwithnosoul]

Spoiler: Submit your robbery applications no fewer than ten business days ahead of time

@songwithnosoul I just had A Concerning Thought because I was reading some shit about cat purebreeding the other day, checked bulbapedia, and… nope! As of Gen III, the game has NO tracking of which Pokemon were parented by which, so you can absolutely breed siblings and parents with children ingame! C’mon Game Freak this is how you with up with squash-faced Pokemon that can’t fucking breathe and collapsed pelvises!!! If the Contest halls are encouraging this shit I will burn them all down

Oh dear god, the idea of the Contests being like animal show circuits that encourage unhealthy breeding to conform to show standards... Shudder. Repulsive.

When I was wee we did a penpal thing… but it was just with the kids in another primary school across town XD Especially weird since, now that I think about it, we’ve been twinned with a French town for ages and we started learning French in primary school… feel like it would’ve made classes a lot more interesting if we were putting together letters for our French penpals, y’know?

Oh, that's a good idea! I started learning French in elementary school too, and having a penpal in Quebec rather than Alberta could've helped our French education too! God knows we needed it.

STOP. STALKING. CHILDREN. FUCK’S SAKES. I’m gonna have Marvin grind you into a fine paste. And if another one of you spawns like Kyubey, I’ll take great pleasure in killing him, too

Whoa, brutal. I like it. The implication that Scott might be some sort of alien is interesting.

Nope, but here’s six somethings that do! Kill

This looks about right to weigh down a body!

Right before a region-wide natural disaster is a great time to disappear a man, too! Kyogre will do an excellent job of making sure the body is ever found, and probably nobody will even bother to look for him later.

Forgot to mention it in Sapphire, I think, but the wish tag she refers to—well, it’s the tags on Jirachi’s head, in this Pokemon context, but those are references to tanzaku, the wee slips of paper that folk write wishes on during Tanabata. They’re usually brightly-coloured these days and used to decorate cuttings of bamboo, which are then either burned or let go in a river after the festival. The festival is to celebrate the celestial lovers, Orihime and Hikoboshi, who are currently stars and separated from each other by the river of the Milky Way except for one day a year. I had a couple of wee girls in my classes who were super into the story, and were inconsolable one year when Tanabata fell on an evening that turned out cloudy and rainy, thus, according to them, preventing the couple from getting to meet this year.

As always, I love your Japanese culture explanations.

Anyway, that’s what Jirachi is about: wishing on stars in a somewhat more indirect way than the Western “look up, see star, wish” way. I headcanon that the story exists in the pokeverse, and they say that one of these annual reunions resulted in Jirachi, who is very babey, and who is looking for someone kind enough to wish on one of their tags for their parents’ reunion.

Oh, that's sweet! I like the idea of Pokémon legendaries being born from a Pokémon version of a real-life story rather than strictly keeping it within the canon Pokémon pantheon.

And then this took me out at the knees. I am on the floor SCREAMING laughing at the beginning of this… threatening?… note. Oh my GOD, Maxie, are you fucking serious?!

God, I love that Game Freak included this in the game. Unironically, it's hilarious and great. 10/10, would not change a thing.

Like, I’m sure this is meant to convey hyper-polite Japanese grammar, but the result in English is SO FUCKING FUNNY

Ah, that makes sense. Still: thank you, translators. Great call.

Always good to find free potion tokens!

I continue to enjoy your little turns of phrase.

Got curious about something that I wanted to check out… do people put their own nicknames in this or something? “Rad neighbour” is absolutely NOT what I’d call Brendan, unless we’re saying “rad” in, like, a Fallout way

Haha

Wally, you are the very best dude in all of Hoenn and I should really call you more often

He's! So! Sweet!

While training, Marvin reaches U L T I M A T E T A N K

Y E S ! ! !

No, I’m turning you down because it’s the worst idea anyone has ever had

I guess that a guy who stands all day in a corner offering to teach your Pokémon to blow itself up would have to have either 100% or 0% self-awareness, and unsurprisingly this guy falls into the second category.

I remember this because the specific nonsense of Azurill being pure Normal (and then half-Fairy after Gen VI) has tripped me up before

Yeah, that one's such a strange outlier. You almost never see Pokémon that completely change type during evolution, and if they do there's typically a lore reason. At least they rectified it when Fairy-type came out, as you said, but why couldn't Azurill have been a water-type the whole time? I don't get it.

I also did not check this at all, I was just button-mashing, but I’m glad to see that’s as viable a strategy in trivia quizzes as it is in Super Smash Brothers

Haha

Until then, have you ever read or written a bit of Pokemon folklore that you really like? I wanna hear it, I love me some folklore!

Other than the obvious?

 

[SayleeK]

Spoiler: Replies

@Green Tea Marvin lacks nothing, and never has, ever since he was babey, but now it’s just [TANK INTENSIFIES]
I imagine seeing Professor Birch getting chased by wild Pokemon is pretty common… but how did the Trick Master know which Pokemon was chasing him on that specific occasion…?


@Nebbles The amount of Lore Sinnoh’s always dropped… :chef_kiss:


@bhelryss Don’t worry, Scott won’t be scoping out anybody but mermaids now (:
It really is pretty sus that he’s not looking for folk with established careers, he’s looking solely for new, young faces who won’t have ever signed a contract before… I’m sure he won’t be missed
See these days most of the nickname wars are on Discord for me, mainly because on my mates’ groupchat the admins have the power to change our nicknames on that server and then lock them. One person’s name has been stuck as “Send Feet Pics” for months for their crimes, which they will not stop committing. I need someone to write a Kalos chatfic to make me give a shit about Tierno and Trevor dammit, you’re already giving each other nicknames at the beginning and everything!
Repainting existing folklore is always so much fun, especially since there are often references already buried in existing Pokemon, like Jirachi for Tanabata! It’s fuuuuun :D
Johnny Applinseed… pffffft XD Guess Unova already had too many dragons :P
Oh my god that chingling lore is adorable


@songwithnosoul Scott? No idea, officer… so many people were lost in the Groudon-Kyogre war, so tragic… we may never know what truly happened in those terrible days… (:
The thing I always say about fictional pantheons is that there’s gonna be what the gods are really about, and there’s gonna be what folk believe about the gods and the stories they tell, and I don’t believe those things are gonna match up exactly even in the circumstances that the gods are tangibly about and you might see one on TV wearing a bowtie and dancing in a Contest XD Jirachi’s out here to be adorable and psychic and refuse to answer any questions about whether or not their parents live in space
Given that Azurill also sometimes trans their genders on evolution, I guess we shouldn’t be surprised that they also mess around with types… but still! There’s over nine hundred of you adorable wee shits now! Stop messing with my ability to intuit what you are!

Hello and welcome back to my Emerald Nostalgialocke! Last time we hit up Mossdeep and got to training for the gym. This time…

Spoiler: Part 19: The Weak-Spirited Will Never Win!

Time to see how that training went! There’s a couple of them that I think’ll pick up another level or so in the gym, but we’re about levels with the Leaders, I think.

God, I wish Suze learned some decent bug moves in this gen. I could swear she learned Signal Beam, but no, apparently not, apparently it’s just Volbeat. This is discrimination dammit

I think The Doctor should do pretty well here; he’s got pretty good Special Defense, and 3/4 of his moves are supereffective against Lunatone and Solrock, even though only Leaf Blade’s really good on its own. If Fury Cutter gets time to build up, though…

Malcolm’s ya boi with Surf, and we all remember how much they like THAT in Mossdeep!

I think Lava-Girl should hang back here. Not a lot of physical attacks to fight off or fire to fight here, babe, sorry

I’m not sure if Susan should join in this time, Dynamicpunch or no, though her Special Defense is pretty damn good…

Marvin also has the tank’s problem of not having great Special Defenses, thus making him vulnerable to molotov cocktai—I mean, Psychic attacks. He’s got power where it counts, though, and since Lunatone and Solrock can be pretty tough to kill, his power might be needed.

Well, at least I can give Suze that, in case she does need to help out.

Right, let’s get cracking… jesus fuck this is one of the most eyeball-melting puzzles I’ve ever seen. God I hope Giovanni never sees this. Anybody who puts this in the Rocket Suggestion Box is getting taken to the Godslayers' Retirement Home and fed to Chel.

If by “temper my spirit” you mean “catch more than one Pokemon and develop a more well-rounded team”, then sure, go for it!

Thank god that, with a bit of care, you can avoid springing these traps into double battles

Yep, she’s Japanese!

Most of the other gym battles were similar oneshots, but I have to highlight this dialogue for being extremely fucking funny

I also love this wee goth for her commitment to the bit

Oh thank fuck, I’ve finally pressed enough colour-coded buttons. Alright, NOM, got any advice for us?

…I did actually forget about the Xatu and Claydol, good to get that forewarning! I don't think bug Pokemon are immune to ground attacks, though... are you thinking of flying-types...?

Alright, time for another unskippable double battle!

Right, definitely wanna take that thing out before it does that too much

Suze isn't immune to Earthquake, but it doesn't do much, and Malcolm’s as immune as that Xatu is. But nobody’s immune to Surf.

Another round of Earthquake not doing a lot, but I don’t like that Confuse Ray…

Never mind, Malcolm is my BOY!

Of course it does. I will say, the double battle strategies these two have are LETHAL

In which Malcolm continues to be the MVP of this gym

Right, no more taking chances with that confusion, we’ll need him to—

…WHAT
WAIT WHAT
WHAT DO YOU MEAN BUGS DON’T RESIST PSYCHIC ATTACKS
SUZE NO

Boys? Obliterate

No shields can protect you when we’re pissed the fuck off

If yous werenae weans I’d fuckin shatter you like a protestor's skull under a polis baton

Yeah, no exactly feeling that right now

The real headfuck of that gym is that Suze was able to blitz through all the gym trainers with ease, and then the leaders are using completely different kinds of psychic-types that squashed her without hesitation… you were a good, solid bug that took us so far, Suze. Enjoy hanging out with the other ghosts. I’ll think of you whenever I hang out in the Secret Base we built together Q_Q

Oh, good. Stress relief.

I dunno, I think the sea itself is far more terrifying than any nuggets in hoodies

Proposal: Team Rocket takes out both of them for you! Aren’t we lovely?

Cannot agree enough, auld yin. We cannot be having with this.

…Wait, is the implication that they launched during the invasion? The dedication is fuckin incredible, I love it XD

Yeah… no. Not happening today.

I have a pretty substantial number of screenshots for the rest of this, and I’d better filter out the ones that would require a rating upgrade for graphic violence. So for now, a question I thought of after posting the last part: how would you title yourself when putting your number into another trainer's pokegear? Mine would probably be "Dedicated Bookworm". Chu's is "Rocket Boss (No, Really)". How about you? Until next time, thanks for joining me, and haste ye back!

 

[Green Tea]

Suze!

I was surprised to see her starting this gym, and even more surprised that she stayed in once claydol went down. I thought that would have been the time for Wee Sue to make her mark on the gym. You were suckered in by the cannon fodder, and after all of that effort to avoid double battles, too.

The NOM guide was no use here, and its advice was so bad it's laughable. Between this and the poor humour, it must only have survived as long as it did because the Internet was still just a baby at this point.

Also, a shoutout to dedicated goths worldwide. Especially those that represent in summer.

How would I title myself? Hmm, that's pretty tough. How about "Tea Drinker"? Or maybe "Winter Enthusiast"?

 

[reshishigas]

NOOO SUZE... i'll miss our local bug, nevertheless I hope to see more of them in your future runs...
And I know that it was an update ago, but congrats on evolving our boi Marvin! He's tanky hell now :)

Even though this may sound rather insensitive, I'm looking forward to seeing Suze's replacement, since Hoenn has a good variety of mons (70% of the region is water). However, I don't remember if you had allowed yourself to return to areas you've already visited (therefore rendering the water joke unneeded).

If I had a title it would be,,,, um,,, bug-type enthusiast? idk i'm not creative when it comes to this hah.

Anyway, good luck on getting those Magma airheads! Hoping the best for the team, since I remember that Maxie killed my shiny pelipper there so I'm. praying for Malcom's safety (tho you'll prolly be fine).

 

[Spectacles]

God, I wish Suze learned some decent bug moves in this gen. I could swear she learned Signal Beam, but no, apparently not, apparently it’s just Volbeat. This is discrimination dammit

It's really only Volbeat?! Ugh that's such baloney. I distinctly remember losing a good Pokemon to a Volbeat's Signal beam because I didn't realize that move was even in Gen 3.

In which Malcolm continues to be the MVP of this gym

Pelipper is awesome in every gen and Malcolm is no exception.

WAIT WHAT
WHAT DO YOU MEAN BUGS DON’T RESIST PSYCHIC ATTACKS
SUZE NO

Noooo that sucks so much!!! I used to know the type chart well but it really is hard to keep track of with each minor change throughout the gens.

 

[Time Master Eon]

…Wait, is the implication that they launched during the invasion? The dedication is fuckin incredible, I love it XD

I mean, Magma cannot steal the rocket fuel if they use it all.

 

[bhelryss]

i always forget how bad the mossdeep gym is until i see it. like i just black out for that entire part of the game and wake up in the weeds in the dive areas

and then i just suppress the memory again until i see it once more

thank god for selective memory

also yeah!!!! i love it when trainers really commit to their theme. you go little pixel fellas, i'm proud of you

shedinja is immune to ground types!!

but like.....i think that's it? oh wait maybe ninjask. is ninjask part flying?

- - - UPON A GOOGLE: YES IT IS

nincada line out here like "yeah baby miss me with that magnitude shit"

ohhhhhhh oh no ;o; oh no

wait why DOESN'T bug resist psychic????????

oh i was so excited for suze, i was so psyched to see somebody use an illumise, oh man :((((((((

i would agree with you there: the sea is more terrifying than nerds in hoodies

even if those nerds have poochyena

professor birch in this game is more afraid of zigzag tho, so maybe if teams short-sighted would change out for that i'd be more intimidated

i think, if i were putting myself into another trainer's pokegear, i'd put something like "shy craftsman" or "kind hobbyist," maybe (if i felt particularly daring) "loyal friend"

 

[songwithnosoul]

Spoiler: At least the apocalypse is a change of pace

@songwithnosoul Scott? No idea, officer… so many people were lost in the Groudon-Kyogre war, so tragic… we may never know what truly happened in those terrible days… (:

Ah, yes! Rehearse your defence ahead of time! That's the stuff that makes Chu such a pro!

The thing I always say about fictional pantheons is that there’s gonna be what the gods are really about, and there’s gonna be what folk believe about the gods and the stories they tell, and I don’t believe those things are gonna match up exactly even in the circumstances that the gods are tangibly about and you might see one on TV wearing a bowtie and dancing in a Contest XD

Ah, good point about there being a difference between truths and beliefs. Important distinction. And I love that mental image of what it'd look like to NPCs in the Pokémon World if a legendary were entered into a contest. Hilarious!

God, I wish Suze learned some decent bug moves in this gen. I could swear she learned Signal Beam, but no, apparently not, apparently it’s just Volbeat. This is discrimination dammit

Damn. Will the sexist double standards in Hoenn never end?

I think The Doctor should do pretty well here; he’s got pretty good Special Defense, and 3/4 of his moves are supereffective against Lunatone and Solrock, even though only Leaf Blade’s really good on its own. If Fury Cutter gets time to build up, though…

Great! It's been a while since he's been in the spotlight! He deserves this!

Malcolm’s ya boi with Surf, and we all remember how much they like THAT in Mossdeep!

Oh, right. At least The Doctor can be his tag-team partner while he Surfs everything to death!

Marvin also has the tank’s problem of not having great Special Defenses, thus making him vulnerable to molotov cocktai—I mean, Psychic attacks.

Haha. Oh, that Chu. Always thinking of her work!

Right, let’s get cracking… jesus fuck this is one of the most eyeball-melting puzzles I’ve ever seen. God I hope Giovanni never sees this. Anybody who puts this in the Rocket Suggestion Box is getting taken to the Godslayers' Retirement Home and fed to Chel.

Brutal.

Thank god that, with a bit of care, you can avoid springing these traps into double battles

+1 for Game Freak's level design there.

Most of the other gym battles were similar oneshots, but I have to highlight this dialogue for being extremely fucking funny

Haha

I also love this wee goth for her commitment to the bit

This gym has great NPCs, lmao. Thanks for sharing!

Right, definitely wanna take that thing out before it does that too much

Uh-oh.

Suze isn't immune to Earthquake, but it doesn't do much, and Malcolm’s as immune as that Xatu is. But nobody’s immune to Surf.

Hell yeah! Drown 'em! Nobody will ever find their bodies either!

Another round of Earthquake not doing a lot, but I don’t like that Confuse Ray…

Goddammit. Really hoping for no more BS Confusion deaths...

Never mind, Malcolm is my BOY!

Whoo! Never mind! Hell yeah!

Of course it does. I will say, the double battle strategies these two have are LETHAL

Whoof. They're really taking the kid gloves off, which is good for the seventh gym game design-wise. But in a nuzlocke? Godspeed.

In which Malcolm continues to be the MVP of this gym

Isn't the Wingull line just so good? What a good boy!

Right, no more taking chances with that confusion, we’ll need him to—

…WHAT
WAIT WHAT
WHAT DO YOU MEAN BUGS DON’T RESIST PSYCHIC ATTACKS
SUZE NO

FUCK

No shields can protect you when we’re pissed the fuck off

...won't find the bodies...

If yous werenae weans I’d fuckin shatter you like a protestor's skull under a polis baton

Glad that grief is not clouding Chu's judgment!

The real headfuck of that gym is that Suze was able to blitz through all the gym trainers with ease, and then the leaders are using completely different kinds of psychic-types that squashed her without hesitation… you were a good, solid bug that took us so far, Suze. Enjoy hanging out with the other ghosts. I’ll think of you whenever I hang out in the Secret Base we built together Q_Q

You were way better than you had any right to be, Suze. You will be missed.

(But hey! Only three deaths by the seventh gym is pretty good!)

Oh, good. Stress relief.

Hah

…Wait, is the implication that they launched during the invasion? The dedication is fuckin incredible, I love it XD

Oh man, that's amazing. Hoenn has great NPCs, and I will never tire of you pointing them out.

I have a pretty substantial number of screenshots for the rest of this, and I’d better filter out the ones that would require a rating upgrade for graphic violence

Harsh, but fair.

 

[SayleeK]

Spoiler: Replies

@Green Tea I was too scared to put Wee Sue out there because I thought she'd be oneshotted… and I swear to GOD Bug resists Psychic!!! Doesn't it??? Didn't Kristy resist Psychic from Mewtwo??? Bulbapedia says Bug has never resisted Psychic, only been supereffective against it… everything I know is a lie… and Suze paid the price DX
NOM survived back in the day because it was where you found the phone numbers for the hotlines you could call for game advice and cheat codes, back in the dark times XP

@reshishigas The bugs will always be back! Pokemon has so many good ones, and it would feel disrespectful to Tajiri-sensei to avoid them <3
I will avenge your shiny Pelipper on Maxie's ecoterrorist ass, I swear to you >:(

@Spectacles Bulbapedia's telling me Bug never resisted Psychic??? Everything I thought I knew is a lie DX

@Time Master Eon We're sending the Rocket Fuel to the one place uncorrupted by Team Magma… SPACE!

@bhelryss Mossdeep has the misfortune of being stuck in the middle of all the plot stuff, so it's kinda forgettable in comparison to all that buckwild shit XP
WE ARE ALL HERE BEING HORRIFIED AND CONFUSED THAT BUG DOESN'T RESIST PSYCHIC AND, APPARENTLY, NEVER FUCKIGN HAS
Suze was such a good bug for so much of the game… she did her people proud DX

@songwithnosoul In The Land Of Water, The Doctor should really be getting the spotlight more often, huh? XP He's just too pro
Meanwhile, Mossdeep is an island and I'm going to fucking drown it in the surf
Three deaths by the seventh gym is way better than how I was doing in the Sapphire run, I'll give it that!
Honestly from what I understand of the folk at NASA, they would fully launch a rocket in the middle of a terrorist attack because god dammit, if the conditions are just right and everything's ready they are not missing their damn window!

Hello and welcome back to my Emerald nostalgialocke! Last time, we lost Suze in Mossdeep Gym, but since we're not taking our anger out on the children responsible for her death, we're taking it out on Team Magma instead!

Spoiler: Part 20: I Stayed To The Bitter End...

We are not being neighbourly and sharing a cup of rocket fuel, because if you don't even know what you're doing with it, I INCREDIBLY do not trust you with it

Not to be a bad influence, but if you're already committed to doing crimes, then yeah, you really should

Call me Odysseus, motherfucker

Look, I know Chu's running a mob these days, but we're not gonna murder you. We're actually happy to recruit you to Team Rocket if you're looking for a new job! We've got dental!

It's sweet how you think a zerg rush makes you any more intimidating

Especially since you're only coming at me one at a time, in the finest tradition of fantasy mooks…

…and with one Pokemon apiece, at that

Join Team Rocket for union-mandated tea breaks! Gang up to attack a child again, though, and we mandate a break in your kneecaps

Not even slightly!

It'd be fitting, since they're already a pack of space cadets!

Bruh. BRUH. PEOPLE LIVE THERE. THIS IS AN ABSOLUTELY BUGFUCK EVIL PLAN. I have no idea if it would even work but I don't care to let you test it!!!!

Damn, yeah, I forgot that this was an aspect of the first doubles matches. Like, the way they were coding double battles still functioned as "team of six vs team of six", which is why potential double battle trainers never have more than three Pokemon. To keep that working, when you get into this battle, you have to pick which three Pokemon you're using, you don't have access to your full team. It's fine, though—I don't think we'll need 'em.

The upshot is that Steven is, in fact, being helpful for once! Good job!

Not that I don't love seeing double the puppies…

You might wanna play a jaunty lil kazoo tune about that, Steven

Took a while, but that Metang did at last land a hit!

Goddamn I hate confusion

You see how you guys have more than one Pokemon each? You should get your grunts on that shit

…Ah. The Camerupt has Earthquake.
There's the classic moral quandary of nuzlocke runs: if your Pokemon die when they faint, does that mean that you also are killing any opponents that you knock out? Repeat opponents like the rival seem to disprove this, and I remember when it was a big thing for fics and comics to feature a "nuzlocke virus" that causes only the protagonists' Pokemon to die. I do like some darker runs that go hard on killing enemies' Pokemon as well as the protagonist's. I mostly go with writing it flexibly depending on the situation and the stakes; right now, though, it does feel like an ally's just died next to us on the battlefield.
…sorry about that, Steve. We'll avenge 'em.

Just because I respect your love for your Crobat doesn't mean I'll hold back from fucking obliterating you, Maxie. You're trying to throw rocket fuel into a volcano.

I gotta do all the work around here, smh

Cool motive, I'm still gonna murder you

I mean, yeah, but you're also just, like, generally incompetent. You could do great things under the leadership of someone with a braincell, however! Have you ever considered, instead of setting off volcanoes to "expand the landmass", reclaiming the landmass that already exists to indigenous stewardship or rewilding? Or you could join Hozier in helping homeless people occupy empty "investment" properties! There's so much you can do that doesn't involve volcanoes!

You're getting it! You're both idiots!

Those "important matters" better include this Landback Movement literature, bub

Oh, I know. I've been in your house. You should really lock your doors, y'know.

You're damn right I have! Time to hit the ocean floor and get a replacement for Suze—

…welp, guess I gotta go get a replacement now, huh

I haven't had any encounters in the Mossdeep waterspace yet, and a guy did give me the Super Rod, so…

…Oh. Hello, Orb Whale, my beloved!

I love you dearly, Orb Whale, my darling. I have Feelings associated with you that are almost stronger than I know how to put into words.

So, I struggled for a while with the media I had on my list for 2005, because I couldn't really pick a character that fit. Ultimately, since there's no nameable rival in this game, I decided to let this guy have the name of Max, who as well as being my eternal poke-rival, is also my wee brother, one of the coolest dudes I know and an eternal force for good in my life. Aside from expressing my love, this is so I could send him screencaps of the nickname and Pokedex pages together with "geddit, yer a whale baw". His response was unprintable, even by my standards, so success

I also have a bit of a story about this Pokemon, and why I didn't share much personal backstory with Emerald at the beginning of this thread like I did with the others, but it's kind of a fucking bummer, so I'm gonna pop it at the beginning of the next part and then we can crack on and have fun after that instead of leaving you with that for a few days. Plan? Plan! I'm gonna go back to mainlining Netflix Sandman now. It's so fucking good, I'm so happy :D What are you watching right now? Got any recs? Until next time, thanks for joining me, and haste ye back!

 

[Green Tea]

Nice catch! Even with the better rods, you still have good odds of picking up the usual stuff and I'm too lazy to go check, but I reckon you must have used a lot of the common water-types already. Maximum whale for maximum fun.

You've also managed to make Archie see sense. That is worth so much more than just the dive HM, but hey, Stevie's lost a metang and he's grieving. I remember a lot of "nuzlocke virus" stories/comics, or it being some sort of genetic condition that certain trainers had from birth. It usually tied into them being able to understand pokémon, so, yeah, silver linings and all that.