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Screenshot Hoenn Teen Commentary Via Memory Lane VII: An Emerald Nostalgialocke

Extravanganza Accordian Demo
Thread Description
An environmentally-conscious blast from the past. (Updates Wed-Sat. Part 20 up 06/08)

Time Master Eon

Johto League Champion
Screenshotter
Pokédex No.
398
Caught
Jul 6, 2019
Messages
526
Location
A place beyond space and time
Nature
Lax
Pronouns
He/They
Pokémon Type
  1. Bug
  2. Fighting
Pokédex Entry
This Pokemon switches rapidly between passion and apathy
I love when you don't have to do the gyms in the intended order, because some times your better suited to tackling a 'later' gym like we have here.
 

Spectacles

Rule Maker
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
139
Caught
Jun 24, 2019
Messages
922
Location
Pennsylvania
Nature
Jolly
Pronouns
she/her
Pokémon Type
  1. Fairy
Pokédex Entry
It hides deep inside caves where no light ever reaches it and remains virtually motionless there. ~Pokemon Crystal, entry #52
Ahhh super pumped to see another one of these runs! Off to hoenn!
IT’S RAYQUAZA WITH THE STEEL CHAAAAAIIIIIIRRRR
This intro was incredible.

Also I find it weird that the magazine says Mudkip has a slow start and isn't as good as Torchic? I honestly think Mudkip is easy mode for the majority of the game.
Like, they’re adorable, but I don’t know if Plusle and Minun are any good at all as electric-types?
I really liked using my Minun in Omega Ruby but I think they're not super great in the originals. But you're right, they are super cute.

Your nicknames for this run are all excellent. Doctor Who is one of the shows I'm carefully avoiding because I know I would enjoy it too much and it would take too much of my free time that I already don't have.
 

songwithnosoul

Conqueror of the Ecruteak Gym
Pokédex No.
657
Caught
Aug 11, 2019
Messages
288
Location
A lovely winter dream
Nature
Gentle
Pronouns
they/them/their
Pokémon Type
  1. Water
  2. Ghost
@songwithnosoul Now I’ve wound up thinking “what Pokemon is my gender?”… probably Nidoqueen. Big Lady, adaptable, helpful, WISH I was that stronk, blue femininity,
Ooh, excellent Pokémon gender! I'm still stuck on my own Pokémon gender (spoiled for choice, I suppose) but whatever it is, it definitely has claws and big teeth.

I really do want a fire-type… Hoenn, blease, grant me this… 🙏
🍀

See you say “I'm just imaging Chu holding Marvin out at arm's length and just shoving him in Steven's face in her excitement”, but my brain immediately goes “Chu cradling Marvin in her hands and then YEETING him full-force into Steven’s face” XD
Haha. Even better!

Your sibling has good taste, Misty was the best character in the anime :yes:
I'll tell 'em you said that!

I can also pop up past Slateport to get another catch…

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…well, she’s team diversity, at least
...Electric's always good!

(Okay, so I have no idea if Plusle/Minun are any good either. Especially since you've managed miracles with plenty of other Pokémon that aren't usually considered powerful, she could turn out to be another success story! I hope so!)

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I will be naming her after Susan Storm, The Invisible Woman, however, because The Fantastic Four was easily the worst movie I saw in cinemas in 2005.
Oh, damn. That's pessimistic.

You have the option to live up to the character you’re named after, who is in general great and deserving of respect, or down to the movie I’m picking from. Choose wisely.
Never mind! Fair enough. I like the thought you put into this double meaning.

But first, another scenery appreciation break! This is the same spot, with the same dude here. Looks like Slateport lost some land in the flooding last time I was Hoenn, but the pier they’ve built is really nice, and I’m glad they’ve got a load of new boats on the water! Better safe than sorry and all that
Love this "Hoenn's already recovered from one calamity" angle to your commentary about the improved graphics. It's fun!

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Aye, yeah, you think about that job offer I made? I’d love to know more about stealing shit from Devon Corp!
I also like how you're still gunning for Devon Corp, but from a different angle. You've gone as far as you can with unions; now it's time to out-crime them!

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Guess I can’t really deny it these days
Hahaha

You know fine fucking well what. You got away last time; I see you pulling Kyogre shit again, I’m leaving your body in a cave under the sea, capiche?
I have a feeling that this run is going to end with Archie and Maxie mysteriously never being seen again.

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Aw fuck, now you’re here too.
Eww.

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In order: no we’re not, and under no fucking circumstances
Once again: eww.

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I need a bit of retail therapy to deal with that guy, and luckily, the market’s looking gorgeous these days!
Ooh yeah, it does! Everything's bright and colourful and neat and there's a lot of detail on some of the objects! Very nice.

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Are you worried about him? That’s kinda sweet, ngl
…or are you warning me about him, like, the way I tell folk to keep an eye out for swans when it’s nesting season on the canal
I was really touched for a second, and then I laughed.

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Onwards for training, experimenting with which double battles I can split into singles and which ones I can’t
Ooh, good thinking! Lots of solid planning going on this update!

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Training babies on multi-Magikarp men
I salute their valuable public service.

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Checking out the Trick House, where the local weirdo now flies out of the room instead of vanishing during a cut to black. Sure, why not, this might as well happen
Hahahaha

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…shit. Wait. The professor was right to warn us. There is a rival battle on this bridge that always blindsides me.
Fuck. That was the battle that killed my Makuhita. I'm glad you caught it before it blindsided you this time!

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Nothing for it but grinding, then, because I refuse to foolishly lose anybody else to that hell chicken.
Excellent plan!

During grinding, I am pleasantly surprised that Susan’s first electric-type move isn’t Thundershock, but Spark, which is a corker of a move, and potentially makes her viable to fight the Combusken… if she can pin it down with Thunder Wave, Spark might do enough damage to take it out…
That's good to hear! She's definitely the best counter you've got. I guess we'll be seeing if she has what it takes to join the legends of the previous runs way earlier than expected.

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So, team check-in time:
Huh. I don't think you've ever done this for a rival battle before. Or at least, not one that occurs this early in the game, as opposed to Victory Road or, you know, Blue. The buildup makes me a little nervous, but I suppose it at least can't foreshadow defeat or you'd have just included that in this update.

Next time… we take vengeance for Murdoc. Pray for us
🍀🍀🍀

...welp, keeping The Doctor VERY far away from any Mr Mimes we encounter... though I was gonna do that anyway. Man, I do not miss this era of Gamers(tm), though I guess I don't know if the humour's any better these days, since I mostly interact with Gaming(tm) via these forums and Jim Sterling videos. I am also fucking groaning at the reminder of all the fucking rotten jokes about chocolate stars back in the day, the WORST.
Whoa! Apparently this magazine is for an older demographic than I'd previously guessed! That escalated quickly from just edgy to explicit...

I can think of a few folk I would gift a shit-Diglett to, though...
Hah
 

Skarmizard

Metal dragon bird/Smash ‘locker
Writer
Screenshotter
Pokédex No.
1002
Caught
Nov 12, 2019
Messages
2,792
Location
Texas
Nature
Quiet
Pronouns
he/him
Pokémon Type
  1. Dark
  2. Dragon
  3. Steel
Pokédex Entry
This Skarmory/Charizard fusion is very rare and tends to be quiet and shy until befriended. Also writes and is a huge fan of Smash Bros.
On the way down the route, The Doctor evolved while fighting trainers, and now has a hilarious smug grin permanently on his mug
I love this. Grovyle's easily my favorite middle form starter.
That Whismur sequence was super unlucky :cybercrime:
Aron is great though! And jeez your guide continues to be super edgy ._.
Can't say I've ever named a 'mon after a person, but I do have a Manectric in my Sword run named after my cat (who acts more like a dog tbh). I'm obviously being extra careful with her.

Yeah, with this group skipping Brawly is definitely the best option right now :ohdear:
Plusle and Minun are decent enough-not incredible, but usable. I remember using Plusle the first time I played Colosseum and it was solid.
Ugh, Scott...they could have done so much more with him instead of just being a creepy stalker.
Why do I have a bad feeling about this rival fight :ohdear:
Omg @ the magazine! I'm amazed they got away with that, especially the last two "facts" O_O
 
OP
SayleeK

SayleeK

Johto League Champion
Writer
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
260
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
2,025
Location
Scrivener
Nature
Careful
Pronouns
She/her
Pokémon Type
  1. Fire
  2. Fairy
Pokédex Entry
Between long periods of dormant slumber, this writer rises again for periods of activity that leave piles of dead fictional Pokemon in their wake
@bhelryss chocolate stars are also sweeties that are made of solid chocolate and in the shape of stars, but that’s not what you find when you google em huh :smashpc:
Love is stored in the immortal digital pets ❤️
Minun is adorable, I was pleasantly surprised to get Spark, can’t wait to see what else she’s got to offer!


@Garnet Good point—Hoenn’s gonna go all water not long after we get Surf, so while I’m already covered with two grass-types, a good electric-type can’t hurt! Susan thanks Scrapper for his support 💛


@FPFP66 “inconsiderate kilt wearer” sure is… a choice of phrase? If the Professor wants human contact he could GO HOME to his WIFE once in a while


@Green Tea Minun do seem pretty gimmicky, but sometimes a gimmick ‘mon can work out, as Storm showed us… let’s see how she does!
Oooft, savage—I don’t like Brendan but if Birch starts using me as a stick to beat that boy with, he is going to learn REGRET
I think pretty much all of those gaming magazines have shut down now—all the exclusive news and reviews and so on are happening online these days. I have no idea if the quality of humour has improved, but since it’s the internet, probably not.


@Nebbles I need luck, this rival battle is always the woooooorrrrsssssttt DX


@Time Master Eon I do like having a bit of variety and some options for how you play the game—when you do stuff like nuzlockes where you can wind up playing the same game over and over, it helps keep each run from feeling too samey, y’know? And it’s great to be able to strategize!


@Spectacles aayyyy, all aboard! I remember feeling like OmegaRuby was weirdly easy compared to my memories of Hoenn—basically all Pokemon have been pretty well buffed and got a lot of variety by then, you know? Which is not a bad thing, just makes for a very different experience to playing the originals!
When you do get to Doctor Who, make sure you don’t skip Eccleston. Anyone who says you can skip Eccleston and start with Tennant doesn’t love you. (It’s okay to skip Smith and Capaldi, though. Early Smith-era is kinda entertaining but Moffat gets lost in the hubris sauce pretty quick and the show suffers BAD for it, and I adore Peter Capaldi but even he wasn’t enough to save the show at that point…)


@songwithnosoul Let’s hope Susan follows in Storm’s footsteps by making her gimmick work GREAT! (Which is very suited to the Fantastic Four, I suppose, whose whole thing is their gimmicks XD)
Look, when you’re dealing with megacorps, there’s only so much you can get done through legal means, because at the end of the day they set up the systems they’re profiting from. Unions are good and excellent and important, it’s just that sometimes, you need a lil tactical crime, as a treat, and that’s where Team Rocket comes in here!
Birch WAS warning me about Brendan! He turns up right before the bridge! He knew his boy was lying in wait
Honestly I remember NOM not being aimed at an age demographic, just Gamers(TM). I don’t know that folk thought this kind of humour was wrong for kids at the time, at least in the UK—kinda that panto tradition of “if they’re old enough to get the jokes, they’ll get ‘em, and if they don’t understand the jokes, they won’t even notice ‘em”. Now it’s all sequestered away into 4chan boards, which is probably for the best for everyone :v


@Skarmizard Eyyy, good to see you! It’s been real up and down for luck so far in this run XP Oooft, I couldn’t bring myself to name a ‘mon in a nuzlocke run after a pet, I’d break my own heart… I always name my dog in Stardew Valley after my old dog, though, because then she can run around happily for eternity ❤️

Hello and welcome back to my Emerald Nostalgialocke! Last time, we had a wee word with Archie, enjoyed the lick of paint Slateport’s gotten, and did some grinding. This time…

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You.

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Aye, you fucking will.

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Oh, that’s not a Wailmer! That’s twice as easy for Sue to kill! That’s nice!

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Hold up, I used Nature Power on a wild just a minute ago and it became Stun Spore, not Swift! What kinda shit are you pulling, Brendan?

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Not enough to blunt The Doctor’s knives, though

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It’s been plain sailing so far, but here comes rougher waters…

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Alright, paralysis landed, not that it’s kicked in yet. Sue taking Double Kick and losing just shy of half her health is actually better than I was expecting, and means she’s liable to be safe in the event of a crit…

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…So long as I keep her healed up, anyway.

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That Focus Energy gives me a gap to jump in and attack, but I really hope that paralysis kicks in now

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OUCHNOPE but hey, at least only one of the kicks critted!

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Really need that paralysis to kick in and stop this hell chicken playing keepie-uppies with my fucking mouse

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HOLY SHIT! Sue, I take back all the shit I said about you, you’re tough as fuck!

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And at last, cowed before the might of Wee Sue, the hell chicken succumbs to paralysis and she brings it down! I still kinda wish I’d gotten a Manectric instead, but you’re WELL earning your place here, Sue!

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She sure is!

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Now gies the bike and fuck off

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Much better! On we go! Feels magic to have that anxiety not hanging over me anymore!

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Sneakin’ in to Mauville

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Collectin’ a hammer from a dude who’s WAY too into breaking shit

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Gettin’ sus of weird men in Pokemon centres

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Will I get to roll with advantage in the next battle? Or is this more of a situation where I should go catch a wild haggis for you to sing an ode to?

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I missed the first screen because it went by really fast, but I do not approve of diet songs because diet culture is bullshit

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Collab bro?

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My brother and I sometimes chant this at each other in greeting

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With the way these games are, I’ve probably just reset the spawn rate for shiny Chansey or some shit equivalent

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Key item right here

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Speaking of wonderful green boys!

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For some reason, this pivot strikes me as really funny today, like he pretended not to notice me walking up so he could be like “I bet we could win even if a really cool and stronger trainer walked up—Chu! What timing!” XD

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Bring it, wee man, and I’m sorry in advance

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I genuinely feel bad about this. Getting oneshot by a Minun… Brendan would deserve it, but Wally sure doesn’t!

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Forgive me Q_Q

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Same as last time, he takes the loss well, his uncle’s very supportive, I love them both dearly—

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FUCK OFF CREEPER

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Mate, I oneshot a Pokemon—that I don’t think has any attacking moves at this point in the game, by the way—with a Minun. “Impressive” is hardly the word for it.

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I… don’t think I want you cheering for me

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Oi! Where do you think you’re going? STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM WALLY OR I’LL PEEL YOUR TENDONS LIKE A STRING CHEESE

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Might as well see what’s catchable while we’re here

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Probably shoulda seen that coming

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Now that I think about it, it’s been too long since I’ve had a solid team bug. I didn’t have any in the FireRed run because I already used up most of Kanto’s accessible bug-types.

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Well, it was 2005, I guess it’s about time I named a Pokemon after a character from Twilight. I know, I know, the love triangle was annoying as fuck, and the supernatural elements ranged from incoherent (and kinda racist sometimes) to way overpowered (and somehow simultaneously underused?), but I was really into the series as a kid, okay? I liked the spooky elements, I liked the plots, and I really liked the time-travel elements in the last book. Honestly I think it would’ve been better if the time-warping had taken both Paul and Jesse off the table because they were both dicks, leaving the resolution as “neither bc you’re both not worth it”, but I guess the way it worked out in the end was pretty sweet.

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And that’s why I’m naming her Suze, after the protagonist of Twilight, the sixth book in Meg Cabot’s ghost-busting The Mediator series.
(…Okay, yes, I did read the other Twilight. In my defense, your honour, I was 13, and desperately hiding under a pile of Team Jacob merch in the hope it would make me look heterosexual.)

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Oh! Look at that Ability! No love triangles for this girl! My wish is granted!

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Back to training… I’m gonna file the notion that these two cannot be separated under “adorable”

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This is the first time the Pokenav’s been worth the money I didn’t spend on it!

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Time to hunt down every trainer in the area for exp, but that doesn’t mean we can’t stop to smell the flowers along the way!

Alright, while we get onto that, let's skip over NOM's edgy shit and see what they actually scored the game when it first came out!

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85% is actually pretty low for NOM scoring Pokemon games--I remember them regularly hitting the mid-to-high nineties. Can't really knock 'em for the Wario on this one, either... as time goes by, it just gets harder and harder to justify them functionally selling the same game twice generation after generation, or, worse, selling an incomplete version of a game twice and then the complete version for the third round. Especially since Legends: Arceus implemented a branching path option that allowed you to take the story in... well, not really very different ways, but about on the level of the plot differences between most paired Pokemon games. Time has yet to tell if Scarlet and Violet are gonna really justify being two separate games. What do you think? Until next time, thanks for joining me, and haste ye back!
 

FPFP66

Kanto League Champion
Pokédex No.
2283
Caught
Aug 7, 2020
Messages
145
Location
USA
Nature
Bold
Pronouns
He/Him
Pokémon Type
  1. Ghost
If the Professor wants human contact he could GO HOME to his WIFE once in a while
Maybe he and his WIFE are having ISSUES. I saw Marriage Story. Maybe Brendan is traveling the world so he doesn’t have to see his parents’ impending divorce. Too bad we never got Ray Liotta in a 3D Pokémon game. He could’ve been the bike salesman!
…So long as I keep her healed up, anyway.
This is the time in the run where I wonder how fucked you’d be if you didn’t heal.
diet culture is bullshit
Explain! I could use a good Saylee tirade.
FUCK OFF CREEPER
I see you’ve become familiar with Scott S. Stalker.
I guess it’s about time I named a Pokemon after a character from Twilight.
Between Scott S. Stalker and Twilight, this is reallllyyyy starting to feel like Slowflake’s Emerald run. Now you just need a Skarmory. All hail!
 

Jackdaw991

Kanto League Champion
Screenshotter
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
702
Caught
Aug 21, 2019
Messages
158
Nature
Quirky
Pronouns
He/Him
Pokémon Type
  1. Water
Wow, someone else who skips Brawly! Yeah I believe it's only ORAS that makes you fight him before Steven.

YOU didn't just bad mouth Fantastic Four. That movie was ok, it's the second one that is bad.

I read the first two twilight books, the first book was ok, the second was a heap of garbage. Never mind what I think of the first film. That was just awful. No wonder Robert Pattison rags on it Boss.
 

Garnet

Onion Boy
🌱Featurer
Artist
Writer
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
322
Caught
Jul 2, 2019
Messages
416
Location
Littleroot, Hoenn
Nature
Quiet
Pronouns
They/He
Pokémon Type
  1. Dark
  2. Psychic
Pokédex Entry
A strange Pokémon that claims to be both an artist and writer, yet almost never has any work to show for either.
so. which one of you thinks they can talk to plants?
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Oi! Where do you think you’re going? STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM WALLY OR I’LL PEEL YOUR TENDONS LIKE A STRING CHEESE
GET HIS ASS also i'm stealing that string cheese tendons line

oh man, twilight. never read or watched any of em, but i've seen my fair share of video essays about the... questionable quality and... writing choices of the series. pretty glad I skipped out on that one, really. was too busy reading... uh... a world war 2 allegory but with owls? man, kids/young adult fiction is weird.
 

Green Tea

Conqueror of the Violet Gym
Pokédex No.
5195
Caught
Jan 15, 2022
Messages
187
Location
England
Nature
Sassy
Pronouns
She/her
Pokémon Type
  1. Dark
  2. Poison
Pokédex Entry
Considered bitter by many.
Good going, Wee Sue, you're darling and you're pulling your weight!

Now that you have Suze, will you continue naming all of your female captures after derivatives of Susan? Is it possible?

I managed to avoid Twilight entirely. I probably would have been into it, had I been a bit younger, but I was old enough and edgy enough not to like anything popular. It kept me out of Harry Potter, too. For a teenage goth, supernatural things with spooky powers were right up my alley... as long as no-one else had ever heard of them. *cough*

...I'm confused by one of the Marios. There are enough "classes and bonuses", are there? What the hell is this? I don't remember playing through RSE as either a fighter, a rogue, or a wizard. :/
 

reshishigas

Subway Boss
Screenshotter
Pokédex No.
5582
Caught
Jun 9, 2022
Messages
29
Location
Nimbasa Gear Station
Nature
Lonely
Pronouns
they/them
Pokémon Type
  1. Electric
  2. Bug
Pokédex Entry
This Pokemon says and writes whatever is on their mind, even if they may cringe at it one year later.
Ayyy Minun appreciation!! I used one on my Ruby run, she kicked so much ass. I'd recommend to buy thunderbolt for our beloved Sue!

Also metal baby ;o; i'd die for him

Saylee (KeyLeeverse) would be very disappointed with the path Boss Chu has taken... 😔 Imagine when your parallel world alter becomes the boss of the Mafia you've been fighting against.

And best of luck with Brawly/Wattson (whoever you're tackling first)!
 

bhelryss

rose cultivator
Writer
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
4768
Caught
Jul 7, 2021
Messages
1,019
Location
in the sunshine
Nature
Gentle
Pronouns
they/them
Pokémon Type
  1. Grass
  2. Fairy
Pokédex Entry
this pokemon can be found encouraging plant growth in other people's gardens, but can be territorial about the resulting blooms
oh hell yes illumise time!!! i dunno why i like them so much, it's not like i've ever used one sdlkfj

honestly im about tired of 2 x the same game with marginal differences. the way pla did their "route split" was probably the best i've seen

tho it's....it's possible that scarlet&violet are actually....maybe? approaching a 2 completely separate paths to the same ending story.....two different professors with legendaries that seem to be opposite ends of the timeline

who knows? im....tentatively optimistic
 

songwithnosoul

Conqueror of the Ecruteak Gym
Pokédex No.
657
Caught
Aug 11, 2019
Messages
288
Location
A lovely winter dream
Nature
Gentle
Pronouns
they/them/their
Pokémon Type
  1. Water
  2. Ghost
Honestly I remember NOM not being aimed at an age demographic, just Gamers(TM). I don’t know that folk thought this kind of humour was wrong for kids at the time, at least in the UK—kinda that panto tradition of “if they’re old enough to get the jokes, they’ll get ‘em, and if they don’t understand the jokes, they won’t even notice ‘em”. Now it’s all sequestered away into 4chan boards, which is probably for the best for everyone :v
Ah, that makes sense. I guess that seeing only their (relatively kid-friendly, up until now) Pokémon coverage has skewed my idea of what the magazine as whole is about. But yeah... regardless, glad that era of humour is over. Yuck.

Oh boy, here we go!

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Oh, that’s not a Wailmer! That’s twice as easy for Sue to kill! That’s nice!
And no Rollout! Cheers to that!

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It’s been plain sailing so far, but here comes rougher waters…
*crosses fingers*

Alright, paralysis landed, not that it’s kicked in yet. Sue taking Double Kick and losing just shy of half her health is actually better than I was expecting, and means she’s liable to be safe in the event of a crit…
So far, she's living up to the good side of her namesake! Glad to see it.

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OUCHNOPE but hey, at least only one of the kicks critted!
Oh, I forgot about that mechanic. The possibility of all hits of a multi-hit move being able to crit individually is so nuzlocke-unfriendly. Woof.

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HOLY SHIT! Sue, I take back all the shit I said about you, you’re tough as fuck!
Whoa! Definitely comics Susan Storm, then!

Will I get to roll with advantage in the next battle? Or is this more of a situation where I should go catch a wild haggis for you to sing an ode to?
Hahaha. I know the joke about hunting wild haggis being a wild goose chase thing, but it's also really funny to imagine this guy just singing to a weird wild animal that you went out and wrestled into submission with your bare hands.

...That is pretty on-brand for Pokémon, actually.

Oh my god, this video. Time to drop everything and watch it five times in a row, as is customary! (Love that reference.)

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Key item right here
Yessss. Secret Base time is soon upon Chu!

For some reason, this pivot strikes me as really funny today, like he pretended not to notice me walking up so he could be like “I bet we could win even if a really cool and stronger trainer walked up—Chu! What timing!” XD
Aww.

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Bring it, wee man, and I’m sorry in advance
It's okay, Wally! You'll become the strong rival in the end!

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I… don’t think I want you cheering for me
Um, Scott? Are you aware how weird and creepy it is for a grown adult to walk up to a ten-year-old he barely knows and say he "idolizes" her? Back the fuck off.

Oi! Where do you think you’re going? STAY THE FUCK AWAY FROM WALLY OR I’LL PEEL YOUR TENDONS LIKE A STRING CHEESE
Whoa! Even for mob boss!Chu, that one's vivid.

Might as well see what’s catchable while we’re here

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Probably shoulda seen that coming
Well hey, she makes a pair with your Volbeat from last time! At least that's kinda neat! Hopefully she has better luck than Dewey did. :(

Well, it was 2005, I guess it’s about time I named a Pokemon after a character from Twilight. I know, I know, the love triangle was annoying as fuck, and the supernatural elements ranged from incoherent (and kinda racist sometimes) to way overpowered (and somehow simultaneously underused?), but I was really into the series as a kid, okay?
Okay. A little unexpected, but a lot of kids I knew were into it back then! It couldn't have been a cultural phenomenon if kids didn't like it! Own your cringe!

I liked the spooky elements, I liked the plots
Uh-huh, I can see that.

and I really liked the time-travel elements in the last book.
...Definitely have never heard of that part...

Honestly I think it would’ve been better if the time-warping had taken both Paul and Jesse off the table because they were both dicks
Wait--

And that’s why I’m naming her Suze, after the protagonist of Twilight, the sixth book in Meg Cabot’s ghost-busting The Mediator series.
Ahhhh. You got me! Excellent fake-out there!

(…Okay, yes, I did read the other Twilight. In my defense, your honour, I was 13, and desperately hiding under a pile of Team Jacob merch in the hope it would make me look heterosexual.)
Also fair enough.

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Oh! Look at that Ability! No love triangles for this girl! My wish is granted!
Perfect!

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This is the first time the Pokenav’s been worth the money I didn’t spend on it!
Aww.

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Time to hunt down every trainer in the area for exp, but that doesn’t mean we can’t stop to smell the flowers along the way!
And to admire how good the sprites look!

85% is actually pretty low for NOM scoring Pokemon games--I remember them regularly hitting the mid-to-high nineties. Can't really knock 'em for the Wario on this one, either... as time goes by, it just gets harder and harder to justify them functionally selling the same game twice generation after generation, or, worse, selling an incomplete version of a game twice and then the complete version for the third round.
Yeah, fair. It's really just a blatant cash grab, and that deserves to be critiqued.

What do you think?
Like I said, blatant cash-grab. I think Yellow deserves to exist, and you can make an argument for Japanese Blue and maybe even Crystal, because the games were so new back then, the plot and gameplay innovations seen in the third games could still be genuine results of constantly pushing themselves and thinking of new ideas. Black and White also at least played into the duality of the games and made it important to the plot. But for the most part, just a blatant cash grab. I think the most ridiculous to me was Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon. Those were the ones where it became impossible for me to ignore that they were just same-gen remakes, full of features that the original set of games could have had but didn't so they could sell four games instead. They're even still called Sun and Moon! Didn't even bother to call them them Star and Comet or whatever!

I also was disappointed that they chose to remake Ruby/Sapphire and Diamond/Pearl rather than Emerald and Platinum. Not surprised--it was obvious they were gonna do that--but disappointed. Because Emerald and Platinum are just the complete versions of the story, as you said above. That's how I've always felt. Ruby/Sapphire and Diamond/Pearl feel like only half of a story and Emerald and Platinum are the ones that pull all of the disparate elements together, include all of the box legendaries in the plot rather than just focusing on one for some arbitrary reason, fleshed out the plot with locations like Sky Pillar and Distortion World... They tried to at least bring Rayquaza back into the plot in ORAS with the Delta Episode tacked onto the postgame, but the games still feel like 2/3s of a story compared to Emerald and no amount of shiny new remake features can change that.

(Admittedly, I don't know much about BDSP, so I guess it's possible that they managed to make the plots not feel lopsided compared to Platinum... but so long as their priority is arbitrarily focusing on only one box legendary so they can sell more video games, I don't really expect it.)
 
OP
SayleeK

SayleeK

Johto League Champion
Writer
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
260
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
2,025
Location
Scrivener
Nature
Careful
Pronouns
She/her
Pokémon Type
  1. Fire
  2. Fairy
Pokédex Entry
Between long periods of dormant slumber, this writer rises again for periods of activity that leave piles of dead fictional Pokemon in their wake
@FPFP66 I will never do an itemless run because I WOULD be fucked and my Pokemon WOULD all die and it would suck
Like, do I have to explain why diet culture is bullshit? It’s full of grifters selling completely wrongheaded and oversimplified ideas of how the human body works (spoiler: human physiology is wide-ranging and health management is going to be different for every person and much more complicated than eating This One Weird Diet) and combine them with societal pressure to be a specific kind of white and skinny that literally kills people. Diet culture and how it feeds into the pressure to look a certain way kills children. It gives children eating disorders, it causes self-harm and suicide, it makes brainpoisoned parents starve their children because they think their baby is too fat. This is not funny, this is an evil in society and I fucking despise it in all of its manifestations.


@Jackdaw991 the game tries to encourage you to fight Brawly before going into the caves by going “to use Flash, you need Brawly’s badge!” but all you need to do to bypass that is not be a fucking coward.
Hate to tell ya, all the F4 movies so far have been bad. The first one can be fun, if that’s your kinda thing, but that doesn’t make it good. It’s a shame, they deserve a good movie. As for Twilight… you cottoned on that the series was shit faster than me, I thought “this is okay, I’m curious about what’s happening next” all the way up to midway through the fourth book XP As for the films… Honestly, the first one’s probably the best of the four? It’s not fun, but artistically, it’s actually pretty good? Really good as a film adaptation… shame the book it’s adapting is shit, and that it carries that over so faithfully. And that it got Kirsten Stewart trashed for so long. She’s a phenomenal actor, and she displayed that by very accurately playing Bella as wooden and lifeless!


@Garnet Oh, I can and do talk to my plants, constantly! Mostly berating the tomato plant for being such a whiny wee shit, constantly pretending to wilt and begging for more water every half hour. There’s water in your pot! Drink that instead of begging for more!
Honestly if there’s one thing that Twilight’s good for, it’s writing autopsies. Some of the video essays about the books and the movies are great writing lessons, both in terms of what not to do and in terms of what things Twilight did well that helped make it so successful.


@Green Tea I did not deliberately name those two Susan and Suze and I do not want to admit how long it took me to realize that I had given them basically the same name :x
Being goth is a self-defense measure when you’re a teenager, honestly, it might be cringe but it saves you from much worse cringe XD
I’m guessing the “classes and bonuses” was about all the new features like Abilities and the Contests and all that, but honestly I have no idea XD


@reshishigas With the right sidequests, we won’t need to buy Thunderbolt… ;)
It gets worse than that for Saylee; Chu isn’t an alternate version of her, but there is an alternate version of Saylee who grew up in Team Rocket and became a pretty vicious and world-threatening Rocket Leader when she grew up!
Wattson’s up next, I’ll do Brawly at… some point!


@Time Master Eon I remember NOM constantly changing their rating system, but the Marios & Warios phase was definitely fun XD


@bhelryss Illumise are good solid bugs, I’m sure Suze is gonna do her people proud 👍
Honestly if the games are gonna be basically the same except for different than legendaries, then let’s keep going with the PLA-style split route! Go into Eterna City like “huh, that statue… [protag], would you say it’s more blue-ish or pink-ish?” and that’s all you need!
Honestly I’d love it if Scarlet and Violet were running around distinctly different versions of the same region, like fully going for different time periods or something… that would be rad, so it’s probably not gonna be how it is XP


@songwithnosoul Wee Sue really has turned out WAY more tough than I expected! She takes a hit incredibly well and hits much harder than I thought! All derogatory comments about gimmicky Pikachu knock-offs retracted <3
The haggis joke is also about how, in Scotland, “The Bard” doesn’t refer to Bill Shax (he’s the Bard of Avon), it refers to Rabbie Burns, his most well-known poem being the “Ode Tae A Haggis” that gets read every Burns Night, right before cutting open the haggis. If we really were hunting down a wild animal, catching it with our bare hands and reciting a poem to it before killing it, it’d probably be a lot darker, huh XD
Scott stop creeping on children before I do to you on purpose what people usually only experience in horrific car accidents >:(
Illumise is a pretty good bug, I shouldn’t have given her such a blasé reception, she’s solid!
I had way too much fun with that Twilight fake-out, I couldn’t resist XD
I kinda excuse Gen I and Gen II a lot because they were still finding their feet with how the games worked—I do feel like the original intent behind Red & Green being two games, to encourage kids to trade and play together with their friends, was pretty pure, even if it pretty quickly got co-opted into printing yen for Game Freak and Nintendo. Making Blue and then remaking them into Red and Blue for international sales, understandable, given the art quality and some of the more catastrophic bugs in the originals, and Yellow was a pretty fun afterthought. I feel like Gold and Silver having completely different sprite art for the Pokemon helped justify it, and Crystal not only brought in a ton more innovations, but was the first one exclusive so the Gameboy Colour, not playable on the Pocket or original. The plot was also complete in Gold and Silver, the Suicune stuff felt more like shiny garnish. Ruby and Sapphire don’t feel incomplete, as such, but Emerald is definitely much better-rounded, and it’s the same for DPPt… Gen V was better, but X and Y were blatantly unfinished games, made all the worse by Z never getting made, and it’s been all downhill ever since… not to bitch but when Pokemon games are good they’re so good, and they pretty much print money, so they can afford to put in the time and effort to make complete games (arguably quicker if they’re just making one game with a path split instead of tweaking two games!) and they don’t, and it’s so disappointing DX
I still haven’t played BDSP myself, just kept an eye on the memes regarding the incredible bugs. It’s some Gen I shit in the coding, it’s amazing XD

Hello and welcome back to my Emerald nostalgialocke! Last time, we beat Brendan, and then Best Boi Wally. This time…

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I’m sick to the back teeth of grinding, so let’s give it a go

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Marvin’s my main man for most of this, backed up by The Doctor mostly because he’s the only guy here with any real resistance to electricity. I mean, Susan also resists electricity, but she has no good attacks to hit back with.

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Fuckin electric gym puzzles. Right, you—

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…the fuck? Those aren’t electric-types!

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Now THAT’S more like it! Hello puppy!

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That dude exploded, but Marvin tanked it like a champ 💪

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Those aren’t electric-types either! This is even worse than in Sapphire, fuck’s sakes

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Look just because some people call fireflies “lightning bugs” doesn’t mean they’re appropriate for an electric gym

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Yeah… you did tho

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Only then did I remember that I hadn’t fought the cycling path trainers yet, and thank fuck that I remembered that, as we’ll see momentarily

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Forgot to check this before the gym, otherwise I would've been prepared to be disappointed by the gym trainers. They have a good point that Shock Wave can't affect Geodude, being a Ground-type, but I don't have one, so--wait what the fuck

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Hey there, Magneton, you, uh... you doin' okay there? You're looking a little, uh... hollow? Looks like somebody doesn't know how to use their transparency tool, huh? Wattson, is this your doing?

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Good, because conversion therapy is fucking evil, and any conversion therapists I encounter, I will consider to have forfeited their teeth to Team Rocket, along with a number of fingers negotiable by displays of contrition

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Really need to get this lad some better Ground-type moves, Mud-Slap’s showing up as pretty weak at this stage of the game

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AHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA Never mind, Mud-Slap’s the best move in the game

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Not so useful when the enemy’s packing Shock Wave, though

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Let’s see what we can do when we tank his speed

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Theeere we go. Bye puppy!

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Here’s the reason I’m glad I remembered the cycling path trainers. A bunch of them are packing Magnemite, which gave me the chance to be reminded a) how hard Steel-types are to hurt with my current team

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And b) how much they do not like Fighting-type moves. I always remember that they’re weak to fire and entirely forget about fighting

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…of course, the effect is still limited, because Rock Smash isn’t that strong, but defense drops are a wonderful thing

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But this isn’t. Fuck’s sakes, what a combination of frustration

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It takes a LONG time, and LOTS of Super Potions, but the defense drops do start to stack up…

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…but we win the war of attrition in the end! Gaun yersel, Vic!

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I thought Marvin might be able to take the field again once Manectric was up, since its defenses are nowhere near as sturdy as Magneton’s, but… mmmyeah no.

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Finish it, Doc!

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The absolute clown show that is this gym is affecting us all

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Of course it fucking did

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Ironically for an Electric gym, this was a sloooow fuckin battle, but at last!

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Right, lads…

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Let’s get the fuck out of here.

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Hello, that’s new…?

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Wait, is this where the Battle Frontier and shit are?

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Nae clue, hen, but I promise I won’t be fighting you for that spot! Okay I know the analogy is someone camping out by a shop for the launch of something they wanna buy, or a concert venue to get the best spot for the show, but why was the first image in my head the lines we made in primary school to go into class each morning and at the end of playtime and lunchtime? Getting the front of those lines was a fucking BLOODSPORT, some kids spent their whole playtime camping out to claim their front-of-the-line spot, until a switch flipped and it was deemed supremely uncool to be at the front and everyone was fighting to be at the back. Thank fuck there was none of that nonsense in high school, the corridors of that building were way too skinny for folk to line up for class

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Ohhhh, Trainer Hill! I completely forgot that existed until now because I don’t give a shit about it! Nae worries, pal, I very much will not be standing in your way

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Make with the hammer, Vic

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Do the same to them if they try to get us on camera

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I still have an empty teamslot, so I wonder if there’s anything new to catch out here…?

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Not today, apparently!

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I am heaving this sigh from the very deepest, darkest depths of my soul

We’ll be going very far away from those nuggets next time. Did you remember Trainer Hill existed? According to Bulbapedia, it’s more or less the same facility as Trainer Tower in FRLG (wow, I forgot about that place instantaneously, too) but all battles are double battles, for… reasons. Apparently, in the Japanese version, you could also use the E-Reader peripheral for the GBA to change up the opponents you faced by scanning a particular run of Pokemon Cards. I remember seeing ads for the E-Reader in magazines, but I don’t think I ever saw one in real life, did you? Until next time, thanks for joining me, and haste ye back!
 

FPFP66

Kanto League Champion
Pokédex No.
2283
Caught
Aug 7, 2020
Messages
145
Location
USA
Nature
Bold
Pronouns
He/Him
Pokémon Type
  1. Ghost
Like, do I have to explain why diet culture is bullshit?
(She did explain it)
This is not funny, this is an evil in society and I fucking despise it in all of its manifestations.
That’s the problem with all “culture” and “fandom” though. People take it to such fucking extremes. Looking at you, MCU and Star Wars.

I agree there are problems with how diets are marketed, especially to children. The whole Barbie figure thing is really interesting and dark.

But I’ve been fat, and I’ve been chubby. I much prefer looking…not fat. I’m never gonna be a toothpick, I don’t wanna be a toothpick. But I definitely feel more comfortable in my body and much better mentally having gone through weight loss than I did pre-weight loss. Although I disagree with aspects of BMI.

Idk, I imagine we’ll agree to disagree on this, which is fine.
…the fuck? Those aren’t electric-types!
Stop hating on type diversity! You know how great it is to have gyms where it’s not just monotypes???
Good, because conversion therapy is fucking evil, and any conversion therapists I encounter, I will consider to have forfeited their teeth to Team Rocket, along with a number of fingers negotiable by displays of contrition
That sounds too light a punishment for the conversion therapists. C’mon, Rocket Boss. I bet you can think of better ideas.

speaking a Skarmory into existence for the next update. And an itemless run. please??
 

bhelryss

rose cultivator
Writer
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
4768
Caught
Jul 7, 2021
Messages
1,019
Location
in the sunshine
Nature
Gentle
Pronouns
they/them
Pokémon Type
  1. Grass
  2. Fairy
Pokédex Entry
this pokemon can be found encouraging plant growth in other people's gardens, but can be territorial about the resulting blooms
i spent probably 4 minutes watching the sprites above the header bounce around. they are....precious

aaaaaaaaa wow fuckin THANK YOU MUD SLAP

also i cannot for the life of me ever remember the trainer tower

fucking incredible. i had no idea it existed (until i was just now reminded. i will probably forget in 10 minutes)
 

Green Tea

Conqueror of the Violet Gym
Pokédex No.
5195
Caught
Jan 15, 2022
Messages
187
Location
England
Nature
Sassy
Pronouns
She/her
Pokémon Type
  1. Dark
  2. Poison
Pokédex Entry
Considered bitter by many.
Hell. I've had to look up Trainer Tower and Trainer Hill on Bulbapedia, just to know what you're on about. I don't care to think about how many times I've played through FRLG and not even touched it. At least I have an excuse in never playing Emerald. :)

To my much greater shame, I also had to look up both illumise and volbeat, because I was sure that they were bug/electric. Geez. 😰
 

Time Master Eon

Johto League Champion
Screenshotter
Pokédex No.
398
Caught
Jul 6, 2019
Messages
526
Location
A place beyond space and time
Nature
Lax
Pronouns
He/They
Pokémon Type
  1. Bug
  2. Fighting
Pokédex Entry
This Pokemon switches rapidly between passion and apathy
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Good, because conversion therapy is fucking evil, and any conversion therapists I encounter, I will consider to have forfeited their teeth to Team Rocket, along with a number of fingers negotiable by displays of contrition
I'm just imagining Watson slowly backing away and nervously trying to explain that that's not the kind of conversion he meant in the hopes that the (to his eye) 10 years old mob boss doesn't steal his teeth.
 

reshishigas

Subway Boss
Screenshotter
Pokédex No.
5582
Caught
Jun 9, 2022
Messages
29
Location
Nimbasa Gear Station
Nature
Lonely
Pronouns
they/them
Pokémon Type
  1. Electric
  2. Bug
Pokédex Entry
This Pokemon says and writes whatever is on their mind, even if they may cringe at it one year later.
Wattson’s up next, I’ll do Brawly at… some point!
"Some point" (proceeds to destroy the gym with level 35 mons)

Mud-slap really clutched the win, even if the lil guy isn't strong now, he'll become a Lairon capable of holding his own soon! (I hope).

It gets worse than that for Saylee; Chu isn’t an alternate version of her, but there is an alternate version of Saylee who grew up in Team Rocket and became a pretty vicious and world-threatening Rocket Leader when she grew up!
Saylee rolls worst joint ever: literally the whole Keylee saga 😔

With the right sidequests, we won’t need to buy Thunderbolt… ;)
Oh shit, she's talking about The Goods™.
 

Jackdaw991

Kanto League Champion
Screenshotter
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
702
Caught
Aug 21, 2019
Messages
158
Nature
Quirky
Pronouns
He/Him
Pokémon Type
  1. Water
I played too much of Emerald and like none of RS so I remember trainer hill as garbage.

I said the FF movies were "ok" not good. Good>OK. It's enjoyable to a degree, but it's certainly one of the worst things I've seen Chris Evans in.

That Magneton is scary af. I don't wanna look at it again.

You have my respect for making it out of there without losing anyone with that team there Boss.

Me and some friends had our first real "disagreement" (if you can call it that). Apparently, we are divided on if the Twilight books are good or not. Apparently, one of my friends is ready to throw down over it being "not that bad" when me and some others called it trash.
 

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