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Written Log General [UCL3] It's Always a Good Day to Eat Dirt

Thread Description
monoground ucl time, no longer featuring a dog (currently on chap 29, alola's done)

Shark

Training to be Cute
Writer
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
8
Caught
May 15, 2019
Messages
270
Location
yes
Nature
Naive
Pronouns
She/Her/They/Them
Pokémon Type
Fairy, Cute
Pokédex Entry
This Pokemon is inconcievably cute. It tries to intimidate its foes with its long, luscious locks, but to little avail.
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #61
MUNCH DIED???? NOOOOOOOOOOO

AVENGE THE FALLEN HOLE LOVER
AVENGE THEM
AVEEEEENGE
but hole lover lives!
anyways i avenged captain munch
dw dw its all good

maybe he IS too powerful
the world is his molehill...

pinchy boy meeting punchy boy didn't end well

I can't help but wonder what CBT acronym you've hidden away for if it dies

Anyway have fun beating up the plasma nerds
full disclosure it was the actual meaning of cbt if it died
not the cognitive behavioral therapy one
also yeah the world really is hole lover's mole hill

oh god wait what (*looks up the lore on bulbapedia*)

...
oh dear so it says the marrying was a thing in a literal translation of the Japanese but it got changed in the English translation that we have I (*sighs*) I would like to thank whoever was localising the Sinnoh games for not including that and for protecting my eyes until now sdkjfhsjgk

hell yeah i love claydol so much, it can even learn ice beam

claydol says trans rights xD

i remember when i was younger thinking "why is the game going on about the cold so much" b/c like in the UK it's so often cold/rainy so i was like "wait is some days just getting randomly much colder than others abnormal" this is reason #420 why pokemon is better than the real world haha

he ohkoed what now
oh my goodness
i am in awe
someone make me trans rights claydol, ASAP
also yeah no hole lover strong

i hope yall liked unova!
cuz its over

drayden invited me over to talk about dragons

itll be interesting because i know very little about dragons

i'm an EXPERT on dirt, though

so basically two dudes fought, and one had reshi and the other had zekki, and those two were originally one mon but split because the dudes were fighting, and they nearly destroyed unova, and kyurem, which is the shell (maybe? possibly?) of the one mon that turned into reshi and zekki, also exists and lives in a hole somewhere maybe and is angy

and then the plasma super sailboat 9000 came and froze opelucid

so i beat up a buunch of plasmas and zinzolin

then drayden was like "lemme go grab the splicers because they're safest on my person"
the shadow triad would beg to differ

i beat up one of them but plot dictates that the splicers were stolen anyway

so i went to humilau
btw i love the marine tube
sick

anyways all i need to do rn is grind for marlon

so i went to giant chasm and caught big pig the piloswine

bold (+def -atk) sucks here :(

o well

anyways i used my remaining heart scales to give big pig ancientpower and ice fang, then taught him rock tomb
and he evolved! mamoswine time

grind to 52 commences

big pig learned eq
shark vi also learned eq

gym time

plan for marlon: click eq

shark vi used eq and things died
thanks for the free badge IDIOT

anyways marlon's like "yeah plasma's fine idc im just a water dude"
ok sure but they literally froze opelucid.
dawg

anyways i totally didnt clear out all of seaside cave without grabbing the colress machine first
nope

i got the colress machine and ohkod terrakion

also chocolate FINALLY learned eq

marlon: "i dont have a quarrel with the plasmas"
they are LITERALLY terrorists. they have LITERALLY iced over parts of the region
dawg

boat time

the password is always reshiram, ezpz

anyways i fought zinzolin, he told us about how he doesnt care about hugh's specific purrloin, and left

nice

time for chasm for real

except i remembered where tm80 rockslide was and went to mistralton cave for it
then i taught it to shark vi and crocolate and big pig, and taught strength to big pig

also got tm13 ice beam and taught it and charge beam to cbt
cbt stands for Can Be Taught (many different tms)
the more you know!

i did more tm getting, and now cbt knows psychic and shadow ball (over charge beam and extrasensory lmao) and also got crocolate aqua tail from the lentimas move tutor

oh chasm time for real for real

beating up plasmas is fun

time for boat 2

the puzzle here is kinda tedious? idk

maybe im just bored because nothing is a THREAT to me
i am GOD

zinzolin was free as fuck

plan for final colress: eq wins

god this music FUCKS so hard
big pig took down the magneton, but flash cannon did a LOT so i switched to shark vi
shark vi took out magnezone easily, and i then switched to crocolate for beheeyem
crocolate's crunch did the job quick and ez
also took out klinklang and metang handily

cool
training your pokemon really is the best way to train your pokemon

then i had big pig and night step wipe the floor with the shadow triad while ghetsis hobbled away
hugh got the liepard back too i guess

anyways s/o to ghetsis for just saying "fuck it why dont i try to kill this kid"

hi n i love you

reshiram got vored and now kyurem is cool

plan for white kyurem: shark vi and pray

kyurem missed ice burn and got crit by rock slide 2 so that worked lol

plan for dennis

i mean ghetsis

plan for ghetsis: win, duh

swapped shark vi to crocolate at battle start and she got toxic but its FINE
crocolate still handled cofagrigus fine
brought hole lover in for seis and 2hkod with eq
then drapion got ohkod
crocolate then 2hkod eelektross, flinching it with razor fang
toxicroak was an ohko with eq
night step then crit hydra with sky uppercut and ended it lmao xd

cool

route 23 went by in a flash

n gave me waterfall at the badge check
cool

victory road time

caught Mazinger Z the Golurk in victory road
boxed unless something bad happens
we're too late in to turn back now

there have been a LOT of near deaths holy shit…

mazinger might have to come see use soon…

oh hey spiky

i wasnt taking notes for this one but night step NEARLY died to a misclick >.<

but everything else was cake, ik simipour got ohkod by eq from something

anyhoo i got to the top of the pokemon league

so i replaced fire fang with night slash on night step, and surf with waterfall on shark vi

anyways ground to 60

stats time
Shark VI the Swampert, lvl 60
Sassy nature, Torrent
Quick to flee.
214 HP, 170 Atk, 131 Def, 128 Sp. Atk, 140 Sp. Def, 94 Spe
Earthquake/Ice Punch/Rock Slide/Waterfall
6th in the line of succession
crutch of the run
kyurem killer
will be useful

Crocolate the Krookodile, lvl 60
Serious nature, Intimidate
Proud of its power.
200 HP, 176 Atk, 106 Def, 104 Sp. Atk, 95 Sp. Def, 134 Spe
Crunch/Aqua Tail/Rock Slide/Earthquake
krookodile is so good
what a fucking god
gonna be insanely useful here
1-800-R-U-KROCKIN?

Hole Lover the Excadrill, lvl 60
Naughty nature, Sand Rush
Likes to thrash about.
215 HP, 215 Atk, 99 Def, 83 Sp. Atk, 88 Sp. Def, 134 Spe
Rock Slide/Iron Head/Earthquake/Swords Dance
when all the universe changes, there are but two constants
hole lover will always love holes
and hole lover will always be insanely fucking strong
like jesus christ dude

CBT the Claydol, lvl 60
Bold nature, Levitate
Likes to relax.
172 HP, 97 Atk, 165 Def, 103 Sp. Atk, 162 Sp. Def, 116 Spe
Shadow Ball/Ice Beam/Earth Power/Psychic
CBT is kinda weak at this point...the low special attack really hurts
but its ok because still useful! very bulky
gonna be good for marshal
cbt stands for Can't Be Toppled.

Night Step the Gliscor, lvl 60
Brave nature, Sand Veil
Good perseverance.
169 HP, 144 Atk, 174 Def, 63 Sp. Atk, 105 Sp. Def, 112 Spe
Acrobatics/Night Slash/Ice Fang/Sky Uppercut
once again a gliscor carries the run
fucking insane mon 10/10
coverage for days phys bulk for years
snip snip mother fuckers

Big Pig the Mamoswine, lvl 60
Bold nature, Oblivious
Hates to lose.
221 HP, 162 Atk, 114 Def, 104 Sp. Atk, 94 Sp. Def, 104 Spe
Strength/Ice Fang/Earthquake/Rock Slide
maaaaaaaaan you're kinda depressing arentcha
-atk nature bites, and ice fang is ur best stab…
i wish u got icicle crash
still useful for iris

anyways e4 time

plan for marshal: we'll teach him what cbt really means

sir why r your teeth blue
i led cbt, psychic 2hkod throh
mienshao thought bounce could save it from the psychic ohko
sawk woulda been a 2hko but marshal healed
conk was a clean 2hko

CBT stands for Cock and Ball Torture.
And Marshal has experienced it firsthand.

plan for caitlin: crocolate go cronch

i have never seen you in the platinum frontier
crocolate cronched the musharna but got yawned
night step night slashed reun, but it was less than a 2hko, so i switched to hole lover and picked up the 2hko with eq
sd'ed in front of siggy and ohkod with rock slide
and eq ohkod gothitelle

maaaaaan i wanted crocolate to get the kills there
but probably for the best, her coverage is nasty

plan for grimsley: night step sweep

hello mister gambler
sky uppercut ohkod liepard
acrobatics ohkod scrafty
switched to shark vi and leveled krook with waterfall
night step came back in and shoryu'd bisharp for the win

SHORYUKEN

plan for shauntal: crocolate 2

hey write a book about how im better than clay
cofa lived crocolate's crunch and burned me so i full restored and crunched again
then chandy came in and promptly died to eq
golurk got a brick break off but still died to three crunches after shauntal healed
and crocolate ohkod drifblim with crunch

lmao

ok time for godlike champion music

lets fucking GO, iris!

plan for iris: win harder, duh

this theme is godlike
shark vi led against hydra, ice punch was a 2hko
switched to cbt for druddigon, it failed to do anything useful as cbt applied torsion with ice beam
wow that sounds REALLY painful actually
shark vi subbed back in for lapras and crit ohkod it with rock slide
you arent holding the scope lens OR the razor fang wtf
night step came in to fight aggron, whiffed two sky uppercuts but its fine we're fine
crocolate came out to intim archeops, then night step switched back in and got flinched 3 separate times by rock slide before she got to ice fang the archeops once
god
anyways i managed to kill it after that
then haxorus came out
and got 2hkod by ice fangs due to the second one being a crit

gg ez

well thats it im champion now

pretty pog

cya in kalos

regions beaten: 5
cumulative badges: 40
cumulative deaths: 5
rocky top: tennessee...
bunnies: 1...
Shark: VI
PINCHY BOY: OBTAINED x2
hoenn elite 4: soloed
Slugs: Hugged
Holes: Loved
Cap'n Munch: Overboard...
 
Last edited:

erk pls

Femur Snapper/Wig Snatcher
Globetrotter
Writer
Screenshotter
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
136
Caught
Jun 23, 2019
Messages
942
Nature
Jolly
Pokémon Type
Water, Fighting
Pokédex Entry
I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT, ERK PLS IS A B***H ASS MOTHER F***ER
Guess the EYES HAVE IT.
...y'know cuz iris is part of the eye and you beat her ass from here to new brunswick--i'll leave

honestly the weirdest most surreal part of what's coming up for you is that you may actually be threatened by fuckin RAMOS of all people. FUCKIN RAMOS.
 

sky_

life is a trip alright
Screenshotter
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
181
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
523
Location
A place to nap
Nature
Gentle
Pronouns
They/Them
Pokémon Type
Ghost, Normal
Pokédex Entry
This ghost tries to be studious and businesslike, but will squee or keysmash easily. They would love to cuddle every adorable cat in the world.
congrats on making it through unova!!!
anyways s/o to ghetsis for just saying "fuck it why dont i try to kill this kid"

hi n i love you
i love them both as characters for this thing omg... also i'm glad ghetsis the pos got put in his place by best ever character n, my bean, the relatable one haha
anyways marlon's like "yeah plasma's fine idc im just a water dude"
ok sure but they literally froze opelucid.
dawg
feel like marlon would have been better placed in BW haha, when plasma pretended to actually have moral ambiguity and we the player character had no agency to say "hey 2 of them kicked a munna 3 badges ago maybe they kinda suck"
plan for final colress: eq wins

god this music FUCKS so hard
yesssss go go colress i love how his music includes some kind of counting down
hey write a book about how im better than clay
u so are like. clay could easily become world champ with that excadrill alone and then make more money for himself but he did not, u alone know how to use excadrill properly xD
 

Heather

blep
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
265
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
259
Location
Fódlan
Nature
Sassy
Pronouns
she/her, they/them works too
Pokémon Type
Water, Cute
Pokédex Entry
This Pokémon is a flaming lesbian under a mountain of gender dysphoria. Wheeeee!
password is actually randomly generated per save file at least on cartridges, it might be Reshiram (or likely Zekrom in B2) or it might be a string of 4 numbers
 

Shark

Training to be Cute
Writer
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
8
Caught
May 15, 2019
Messages
270
Location
yes
Nature
Naive
Pronouns
She/Her/They/Them
Pokémon Type
Fairy, Cute
Pokédex Entry
This Pokemon is inconcievably cute. It tries to intimidate its foes with its long, luscious locks, but to little avail.
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #66
Congrats, Best Trainer
thanks but i have 3 more regions to go still

Guess the EYES HAVE IT.
...y'know cuz iris is part of the eye and you beat her ass from here to new brunswick--i'll leave

honestly the weirdest most surreal part of what's coming up for you is that you may actually be threatened by fuckin RAMOS of all people. FUCKIN RAMOS.
yeah ramos ngl might be pretty scary
also i would not beat iris that is violence. i did beat up her pokemon tho

congrats on making it through unova!!!

i love them both as characters for this thing omg... also i'm glad ghetsis the pos got put in his place by best ever character n, my bean, the relatable one haha

feel like marlon would have been better placed in BW haha, when plasma pretended to actually have moral ambiguity and we the player character had no agency to say "hey 2 of them kicked a munna 3 badges ago maybe they kinda suck"

yesssss go go colress i love how his music includes some kind of counting down

u so are like. clay could easily become world champ with that excadrill alone and then make more money for himself but he did not, u alone know how to use excadrill properly xD
i lowkey love ghetsis in bw2 just because he's just openly and unabashedly an evil, deranged bastard
also yeah marlon really doesnt fit in bw2

password is actually randomly generated per save file at least on cartridges, it might be Reshiram (or likely Zekrom in B2) or it might be a string of 4 numbers
i legitimately didn't know that because i have never gotten the number password in my 5 separate runs of this game

how do i say dirt in french
this is a short one because i wanna cover up to cyllage/shalour in the next one, anistar in the one after, and then finish in 4
sorry

kalos is now

y? y.

france, baybeeeee

playing as a girl named shark wow what a surprise

anyways sycamore introduced me to pokemon y then a bird pecked me and woke me up off to a great start

forgot that the mirror was how you progress past pajama mode

oh hey its the COOL mom
she rides rhyhorn she's the best mom for a ground user

met shauna and calem, hello friends

i have thoughts on the xy rivals and how theyre treated but calem and shauna are honestly better off than the rest

gotta pet the rhyhorn

tierno and trevor…
this game is not nearly long enough or fleshed out enough to develop these characters, they would have been GREAT in a more minor role and probably fine in an anime adaptation of the xy plot (which the xy anime isnt, tho its still p good)

the xy plot REALLY wants to be a serialized shonen manga/anime rather than a short pokemon game

they want to give me a nickname, but theirs all suck

i am the Dirtmaster and i will be addressed as such

anyways i replaced the chespin with a mudkip

so we have Shark VII the Mudkip!
anyways shauna gets froakie and calem gets fennekin

i also got a dex! wonder how much french dirt i can fill this thing with

also got a letter
huh

impish (+def -sp. atk) sure is a nature. probably one of the worse ones for most of the game, though tbh any -atk nature that's not modest and any +speed nature wouldve been resoundingly meh too

and then shauna fought me

she lost, mostly because froakie can't make a dent in +def mudkip

man its been YEARS since ive played xy

damn
mom thinks this is a chespin...but clearly it's a kip!
cmon mom

anyways i went to leave and rhyhorn said bye to me

i love you rhyhorn good ground type

anyways i went, bought pokeballs, and headed to route 2 for my first catch

because route 1 is a short road with no grass

i ended up getting Extreme Ears the bunnelby on route 2
no huge power since that's the hidden ability, mild (+sp. atk -def) nature,
cheek pouch makes me cry because i wanted pickup
and holy shit its attacking stats are…
i think im just gonna...not use her...for now…

then i watched calem show me how to catch another bunnelby

cool

santalune forest is 1:1 just viridian forest lmao

nothing interesting happens here except i learn water gun

so i could get a burmy from route 3

i could

but its a 10% chance, and it will need to level up 5 times before learning its first damaging move. and is also burmy
id rather not.
then again, if i can get it to 15 before sycamore it helps against bulbasaur...

fuck it, that's Oh worm? the level 5 burmy caught
gentle (+sp. def -def)... thats whatever
literally only knows protect anyhow
until i get xp share idc

anyways tierno told me about pokecenters in santalune
cool ig

then i beat up a roller skater and the entirety of route 22, and got some roller skates

nice?

gym time

shark vii evolved just in time for viola
and learned mud shot!

plan for viola: just win

2hkod surskit with tackle and spammed water gun until vivillon died
nice

first badge get, classy

went to leave for lumiose and got ambushed by alexa, who gave me the xp share

sick

anyways i skipped through route 4

met sina and dexio, they told me about the fairy type

ill care when there's a ground/fairy type

anyways i went to lumiose and booked it for the lab

sycamore said hi, i listened to his theme, and we battled

it was a joke i have a lvl 18 marshtomp

ok time to pick my "kanto starter" and--

oh.

i guess the kanto starters got accidentally randomized too?
this was completely unintentional
not even joking

and it just so happens that one of them randomized to turtwig

this is funny as hell LMAO looks like everything just worked out

so naturally, now that we have Turters the lvl 10 turtwig, we are handling a man's turtle.
how dare.
naughty (+atk -sp. def) is gonna be a lil risky but big power is good

so then sycamore said words that i ignored, gave me a funny rock, and i left

i saw lysandre on the way out
hi buddy dont be evil

anyways now that we have a REAL teammate for shark vii the other goons are boxed

cool update over

Shark VII the Marshtomp, lvl 18
Impish nature, Torrent
Capable of taking hits.
58 HP, 37 Atk, 38 Def, 27 Sp. Atk, 33 Sp. Def, 26 Spe
Tackle/Mud Shot/Mud-Slap/Water Gun

Turters the Turtwig, lvl 10
Naughty nature, Overgrow
Somewhat vain.
33 HP, 20 Atk, 18 Def, 16 Sp. Atk, 17 Sp. Def, 12 Spe
Tackle/Withdraw/Absorb/--

regions beaten: 5
cumulative badges: 41
cumulative deaths: 5
rocky top: tennessee...
Shark: VII
PINCHY BOY: OBTAINED x2
hoenn elite 4: soloed
Slugs: Hugged
Holes: Loved
Cap'n Munch: Overboard...
 

erk pls

Femur Snapper/Wig Snatcher
Globetrotter
Writer
Screenshotter
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
136
Caught
Jun 23, 2019
Messages
942
Nature
Jolly
Pokémon Type
Water, Fighting
Pokédex Entry
I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT, ERK PLS IS A B***H ASS MOTHER F***ER
HANDLING A MAN'S TURTLE

So this time around the answer to "mudkip or turtwig" is "yes." Here for it

 

sky_

life is a trip alright
Screenshotter
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
181
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
523
Location
A place to nap
Nature
Gentle
Pronouns
They/Them
Pokémon Type
Ghost, Normal
Pokédex Entry
This ghost tries to be studious and businesslike, but will squee or keysmash easily. They would love to cuddle every adorable cat in the world.
then i watched calem show me how to catch another bunnelby
they had to make the only good thing about gen 6's rodent its unavailable ability huh... i'm glad i've never played kalos like what was up with those weird leery diggersby 'mons
met sina and dexio, they told me about the fairy type

ill care when there's a ground/fairy type
hello i will also pay many of my real money coins for an amazing ground/fairy type, imagine some kind of land trickster sprite that shoots up from the ground to trip people up and also sticks a middle finger at every dragon and electric type ;pppp
fuck it, that's Oh worm? the level 5 burmy caught
omgggg a burmy! a smol weird looking child! that evolves into a pizza slice child! such an adorable teammate -
anyways now that we have a REAL teammate for shark vii the other goons are boxed
- dskjfhdsjfhdsjkfhd ah well never mind
 

Shark

Training to be Cute
Writer
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
8
Caught
May 15, 2019
Messages
270
Location
yes
Nature
Naive
Pronouns
She/Her/They/Them
Pokémon Type
Fairy, Cute
Pokédex Entry
This Pokemon is inconcievably cute. It tries to intimidate its foes with its long, luscious locks, but to little avail.
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #69
HANDLING A MAN'S TURTLE

So this time around the answer to "mudkip or turtwig" is "yes." Here for it
im tired of having only one or the other :(

they had to make the only good thing about gen 6's rodent its unavailable ability huh... i'm glad i've never played kalos like what was up with those weird leery diggersby 'mons

hello i will also pay many of my real money coins for an amazing ground/fairy type, imagine some kind of land trickster sprite that shoots up from the ground to trip people up and also sticks a middle finger at every dragon and electric type ;pppp

omgggg a burmy! a smol weird looking child! that evolves into a pizza slice child! such an adorable teammate -

- dskjfhdsjfhdsjkfhd ah well never mind
im sorry i dont have the patience to turn the burmy into a pokemon that can function in battle
i really dont
its kinda cute tho

today i accidentally get a numel killed
edit: this is post #69 on this thread and i think that's important

ok i cleared out the parts of route 4 i didnt fight trainers on
also taught both turters and shark vii return
turters also learned razor leaf

time for the cafe
yeah calem wanted me to meet him at a cafe fsr
better not be a date im a lesbian

oh hey diantha and lysandre are here
huh
lysandre saying some really sus stuff
o well

calem: "hey be my rival"
can i opt out and just be better than you without fighting you?

hi mr bonding
im not using o powers

anyways route 5 time

hi korrina
bye korrina

oh tierno battles u?
huh

turters ate his lobster

trevor gave me some honey, this will be useful later

oh hey turters learned curse!
and evolved too!

camphrier town! time for useless subplots

theres a snorlax and we need the pokeflute to wake it

cant believe my hard earned money got stolen so i could enter parfum palace

also im skipping trainers due to being like. overleveled
ill stop once i reach route 8 or 9 or so

anyways i found the furfrou in parfum, met the jackass, watched the fireworks show, and got the flute
sweet

this really didn't need to be a thing

but we needed the soft scene with shauna

they really wrote the parfum palace thing in just so we could interact with a snobby rich dude
literally why

anyways we woke up snorlax

its been defeated

day care? well i guess someone has to

also the battle chateau exists

but more importantly, time to battle trevor and tierno alongside calem

i did all the work
as expected

skipped straight through route 8 to go to ambrette

got tm rock smash, cool
that goes on shark vii

aaaand time for route 9
which means a catch!

specifically Croc Solid the lvl 17 Sandile!
mild (-def +sp. atk) stinks here but oh well
moxie is cool

aaaaaaand we just keep winning because Road Rage the Rhyhorn joins the party in glittering cave!
modest makes me cry
lightningrod means no solid rock either
h

ok time to clean up earlier routes

turters learned bite

gave out some tms to the newbies, croc solid got thief and return, road rage got return and rock smash

cool cleaning done

went back to glittering cave

hey its team flare

dealt with them easily

oh hey this nerd didnt even see team flare due to looking for fossils

i got one too, huh

anyways i went back to ambrette town and got my sail fossil turned back into a pokemon

its a numel what else would it be

yeah we have pyroclasm the lvl 20 numel now
pretty sick huh

bashful (neutral) is meh but w/e

then i left ambrette and got a dowsing machine

pyroclasm immediately fainted because i thought he could outspeed a tentacool

tragic

rip pyroclasm lvl 20

w/e i went to cyllage, got a bike, and went to route 10 for god gundam the golett
jolly (+spe -sp. atk) is not going to do much for golett but its funny as hell and still a good nature
klutz, however, is Just Bad™

grind time
god gundam got magnitude and rock smash

oh hey grant gave me hm strength

cool

gym time

croc solid hit 28 and learned crunch

plan for grant: shark vii
rock smash ohkod amaura
mud bomb ohkod tyrunt

lol
tm rock tomb went to multiple mons

anyways left for geosenge and fought a flare grunt

croc solid evolved, which is sick

then i fought korrina in geosenge
this is harder than her gym fight

or would be, if she could hit lucario

anyways caught big donger the nidorino
nice
rash (+sp. atk -sp. def) is good
leveling this fucker up is gonna suck for now tho

boxed temporarily(?)

anyways i fought the first brains and brawn, turters learned leech seed and eq and evolved
nice

why is reflection cave a fucking awful dungeon
croc solid learned dig (also crunch earlier)
road rage learned bulldoze

shalour city

that means gym time
wait not yet

got a rock from tierno, meh

ok i went to the tower and the old dude says that he only has one mega stone

calems like "lets fight for it this surely wont make me feel terrible about myself"
"i surely wont lose"

yeah right
meowstic got 2hkod by god gundam's shadow punch
absol couldnt touch road rage
shark vii 2hkod braixen with mud bomb

sorry buddy you did this to yourself

gym time
literally nothing here can touch god gundam

wait counter doesnt work on ghost types

thats fucking hilarious

plan for korrina: nothing you have can hurt my golett

yeah uh machoke hit a rock tomb and thats it
everything else literally couldnt damage god gundam

gg no re

power up punch is godlike
also just better rock smash

cya next time for mega evolving (sorta)

Shark VII the Marshtomp, lvl 35
Impish nature, Torrent
Capable of taking hits.
106 HP, 74 Atk, 74 Def, 54 Sp. Atk, 62 Sp. Def, 50 Spe
Power-Up Punch/Mud Bomb/Strength/Water Gun

Turters the Torterra, lvl 35
Naughty nature, Overgrow
Somewhat vain.
120 HP, 100 Atk, 82 Def, 70 Sp. Atk, 68 Sp. Def, 52 Spe
Leech Seed/Razor Leaf/Bite/Earthquake

Croc Solid the Krokorok, lvl 34
Mild nature, Moxie
Thoroughly cunning.
92 HP, 66 Atk, 36 Def, 51 Sp. Atk, 38 Sp. Def, 59 Spe
Rock Tomb/Crunch/Dig/Power-Up Punch

Road Rage the Rhyhorn, lvl 33
Modest Nature, Lightning Rod
Quick tempered.
105 HP, 67 Atk, 72 Def, 30 Sp. Atk, 32 Sp. Def, 33 Spe
Rock Smash/Rock Blast/Bulldoze/Return

God Gundam the Golett, lvl 35
Jolly nature, Klutz
Quick tempered.
91 HP, 71 Atk, 48 Def, 35 Sp. Atk, 44 Sp. Def, 41 Spe
Power-Up Punch/Rock Tomb/Shadow Punch/Magnitude

regions beaten: 5
cumulative badges: 43
cumulative deaths: 6
rocky top: tennessee...
Shark: VII
PINCHY BOY: OBTAINED x2
hoenn elite 4: soloed
Slugs: Hugged
Holes: Loved
Cap'n Munch: Overboard...
 

erk pls

Femur Snapper/Wig Snatcher
Globetrotter
Writer
Screenshotter
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
136
Caught
Jun 23, 2019
Messages
942
Nature
Jolly
Pokémon Type
Water, Fighting
Pokédex Entry
I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT, ERK PLS IS A B***H ASS MOTHER F***ER
calem: "hey be my rival"
can i opt out and just be better than you without fighting you?
this may be the most savage thing i've ever seen
and y'know what? CALEM FUCKING DESERVES IT.
 

Shark

Training to be Cute
Writer
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
8
Caught
May 15, 2019
Messages
270
Location
yes
Nature
Naive
Pronouns
She/Her/They/Them
Pokémon Type
Fairy, Cute
Pokédex Entry
This Pokemon is inconcievably cute. It tries to intimidate its foes with its long, luscious locks, but to little avail.
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #71
this may be the most savage thing i've ever seen
and y'know what? CALEM FUCKING DESERVES IT.
calem is a victim of low self-esteem from being beaten so badly and also a victim of pokemon xy being kinda dogshit

what you dont see during this update is me spending all my money on fashion :)

back to the tower

gurkin (the old man who is the mega evolution guru) said that i could go up the tower now to meet korrina again

on the way up i got tm low sweep and taught it to croc solid

the mega evo tower korrina scene is so much better at night. but im playing at 6 pm

anyways korrina made me pit one of her lucario against her other one

which is odd because she then gave me Shark VIII the Gabite at lvl 32
no mega stone needed
quirky (neutral) doesnt particularly matter because garchomp is always god
gonna be a while til it evolves tho

will it be confusing with shark vii and shark viii? yes
do i care? no

anyways calem gave me surf so i taught it to shark vii

on route 12 a kindly breeder gave me a lap--i mean, drilbur! Hole Seeker the lvl 30 Drilbur is on the backup squad
docile (neutral) sure is

anyways onwards

shark vii evolved into swampert!

road rage learned chip away, which reminded me that chip away exists

shark viii learned dragon claw, which is just better than dual chop

thought i was aboutta fight the 5 magikarp 1 gyara team but no
its 6 karp

got to coumarine
and sycamore gave me an item i cant use (hm fly)
would be nice ig

kalos is linear tho so its fine

anyways i healed and went to azure bay
fought some trainers
was easy

calem wanted to fight me before i went into the gym

sorry buddy, thisll suck for ya
(it did i swept him with shark viii)

gym time

i uh, can only use shark viii and turters here

so i swapped shadow claw out for aerial ace on shark viii

plan for ramos: aerial ace on gabite

jumpluff was a 2hko but brought me to around 30% so i healed when gogoat came in
then we chipped each other down until i crit an aerial ace and killed the gogoat
weepinbell got 2hkod easily

pretty clean

anyways i got a badge and tm grass knot, neat

then i went to the badlands after a call from lysandre and meeting two forgettable people

accidentally critkilled the dugtrio i ran into in the badlands so no catch there

this route sucks there's wind and team flare grunts
got a plant pass tho

anyways power plant time

croc solid evolved, which is dope

after i beat up all the grunts and beat up one of the pitbull wannabes shark viii learned dig
then i beat up aliana really easily

then the clown brigade showed up with masks on, healed me, and left. thanks?

time to leave

on the way out i met a really tall dude

back in the worst city to navigate in the series
like for real the movement here sucks

anyways i watched the prism tower light up with shauna

i am now, as i was when i first saw this
unbelievably whelmed

anyways gym time

i will fight every trainer for fun and profit

this allowed road rage to evolve into rhydon and to learn hammer arm

lmao

plan for clemont: i win by default

shark viii 2hkod emolga with dragon claw but got para'd by static, so i switched to road rage for magneton
road rage easily handled magneton with bulldozes (mirror shot would have been a 2hko but a crit didnt kill from full and road rage outsped before bulldoze)
and croc solid handled heliolisk with a single dig

like he even had a chance
i got a badge and tm thunderbolt and also, more importantly, god gundam evolved into golurk!
nice
also learned heavy slam

lysandre sounding more and more nazi-ish

moving on

i got a call from trevor that we (the people i was supposedly journeying with) were meeting on route 14

when i got there calem challenged me to a fight

poor dude really wants the dub but his starter only has 2 moves
what even

shauna: "i dont have a purpose for traveling like yall im just traveling to make memories"
that is a purpose you goose

i caught Long Dream the quagsire on route 14
boxed

went to see the house on route 14 with everyone, it was uneventful

gym time

once again god gundam is my best mon for the gym

plan for valerie: heavy slam

magnitude 2hkod mawile, then i clicked heavy slam until everything went down

is ramos really gonna be my biggest threat this run? (until wulfric)

pokeball factory time

"no tours given" thats ok ill show myself around and beat up all the weird dudes

there were some scientists bullying a rich dude

i beat up the scientists and the rich dude with calem

got a master ball and big nugget in exchange for not beating the rich dude further

cool
damn rain ruins my framerate

lets get out of the rain and onto the autumn route

this just in: i remembered golurk gets fly

yee haw motherfuckers

man playing this game reminds me how resoundingly meh it is

gotta dip into the lost hotel for a thingy
road rage learned drill run! woo

also got a protector
rhyperior time

road rage evolved into rhyperior, which is hyperior

also shark viii evolved and learned crunch

garchomp time

onto frost cavern

holy shiiiiiiiit my framerate

some girl made a bivouac to heal my mons
the fuck is that

thanks for the heal

all these trainers are menaces

god gundam got eq! i cant wait for the tm but having them learn it naturally is poggers

anyways i got to the heart of the cavern and beat up team flare

got to anistar
i bought another outfit this is all that matters

calem: "i can't keep losing to someone who started their journey at the same time i did" yes you can
ill prove it
turters learned giga drain and shark vii learned earthquake while i owned every single mon that calem has

time for croc solid to wreck the gym

plan for olympia: croc solid crunchin

moxie turned the fight into 3 ohkos

thank you snowballing mechanic, very cool

we'll leave off for now with lysandre announcing that he's going to erase the whole world
cool cool very cool

Shark VII the Swampert, lvl 52
Impish nature, Torrent
Capable of taking hits.
187 HP, 140 Atk, 134 Def, 105 Sp. Atk, 113 Sp. Def, 92 Spe
Power-Up Punch/Earthquake/Strength/Surf

Turters the Torterra, lvl 52
Naughty nature, Overgrow
Somewhat vain.
179 HP, 156 Atk, 122 Def, 107 Sp. Atk, 102 Sp. Def, 86 Spe
Leech Seed/Giga Drain/Crunch/Earthquake

Croc Solid the Krookodile, lvl 53
Mild nature, Moxie
Thoroughly cunning.
181 HP, 146 Atk, 90 Def, 107 Sp. Atk, 87 Sp. Def, 119 Spe
Rock Tomb/Crunch/Dig/Low Sweep

Road Rage the Rhyperior, lvl 51
Modest Nature, Lightning Rod
Quick tempered.
197 HP, 161 Atk, 148 Def, 80 Sp. Atk, 76 Sp. Def, 75 Spe
Hammer Arm/Rock Blast/Drill Run/Chip Away

God Gundam the Golurk, lvl 52
Jolly nature, Klutz
Quick tempered.
168 HP, 164 Atk, 105 Def, 77 Sp. Atk, 99 Sp. Def, 95 Spe
Fly/Heavy Slam/Shadow Punch/Earthquake

Shark VIII the Garchomp, lvl 51
Quirky nature, Sand Veil
Mischievous.
184 HP, 160 Atk, 107 Def, 110 Sp. Atk, 98 Sp. Def, 129 Spe
Aerial Ace/Dig/Dragon Claw/Crunch

regions beaten: 5
cumulative badges: 47
cumulative deaths: 6
rocky top: tennessee...
Shark: VIII
PINCHY BOY: OBTAINED x2
hoenn elite 4: soloed
Slugs: Hugged
Holes: Loved
Cap'n Munch: Overboard...
Turters: Handled
 
Last edited:

erk pls

Femur Snapper/Wig Snatcher
Globetrotter
Writer
Screenshotter
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
136
Caught
Jun 23, 2019
Messages
942
Nature
Jolly
Pokémon Type
Water, Fighting
Pokédex Entry
I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT, ERK PLS IS A B***H ASS MOTHER F***ER
i guess ramos wasn't threatening after all
not that that's at all surprising this is gen 6

LYSANDRE'S COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT. HE HIMSELF IS A BITCH-ASS MOTHER FUCKER
 

KirbySSU

Unova Veteran (Though Not In Nuzlockes)
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
2864
Caught
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
235
Location
Driftveil City, Unova
Nature
Relaxed
Pronouns
He/Him/They/Them
Pokémon Type
Electric, Steel
Pokédex Entry
Likes Kirby, perhaps a bit too much.
Lysandre seems totally normal and not odd in the slightest! I doubt he’ll be of importance later...

Also Ramos kinda sux lmaoooooo
 

Shark

Training to be Cute
Writer
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
8
Caught
May 15, 2019
Messages
270
Location
yes
Nature
Naive
Pronouns
She/Her/They/Them
Pokémon Type
Fairy, Cute
Pokédex Entry
This Pokemon is inconcievably cute. It tries to intimidate its foes with its long, luscious locks, but to little avail.
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #74
i guess ramos wasn't threatening after all
not that that's at all surprising this is gen 6

LYSANDRE'S COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT. HE HIMSELF IS A BITCH-ASS MOTHER FUCKER
AND HE PISSED ON MY FUCKING KALOS
THATS RIGHT, HE TOOK HIS ULTIMATE FUCKING GODDAMN WEAPON OUT, AND HE PISSED ON MY FUCKING KALOS
AND HE SAID IT WAS *thiiiiiiiis* big AND I SAID THAT'S DISGUSTING
SO IM MAKING A CALLOUT POST ON MY TWITTER DOT COM
LYSANDRE THE NAZI U GOT A SMALL WEAPON
IT'S LIKE THE SIZE OF THIS FLABEBE, EXCEPT WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY SMALLER
AND GUESS WHAT? HERE'S WHAT MY GROUND TYPES LOOK LIKE

Lysandre seems totally normal and not odd in the slightest! I doubt he’ll be of importance later...

Also Ramos kinda sux lmaoooooo
ramos and wulfric were two of the hardest trainers in the game for this run
doesn't mean they were hard but yknow
gotta count for something

im sorry if the commentary is uninspired but so is the game itself

where was i?

oh right lysandre announcing his plan to cleanse the world of sin

went to lysandre cafe because thats gotta be his secret base

why the fuck would you make ur secret base accessible by saying open sesame in front of a cabinet
thats like the most cliche thing ever

lysandre has decided to welcome me to his base!
with violence!

road rage ohkod the mienfoo with drill run lmao
gyara got slowly succed to death by turters
road rage annihilated pyroar and murkrow

so now you'll give up right

right

wrong

time to explore the lab
and annihilate every person with pokeballs
croc solid learned eq!

anyways i beat up a lot of people and got an elevator key
then i went to the next floor and az told me a story
az deadass coulda stopped at "bringing my pokemon back to life"
but nope! time to use the wmd to end all wmds

lysandre: "you get to decide which button to press, the fate of the world is in your hands"
like you're not gonna activate it either way

oh lysandre actually intended to give me the choice
and xerosic just said "nah i wanna see shit go boom"

deadly weapon time

ok off to geosenge and the real flare hq

time to save the world or smth

lysandre went on a speech about how he'll be the only one to inhabit the world after he cleanses it

only living being

thats pretty fucking stupid

im going to beat some sense into you
or beat you to death whichever one comes first

god gundam used BURNING GOD FINGER to annihilate mienshao
gyarados got succed again by turters
shark vii rekt the pyroar
and road rage annihilated the honch

anyways lysandre told me it was too late and i said but i refuse
so im going down to stop the weapon

road rage forgot chip away and learned stone edge

anyways i got into the room with the legendary thanks to the power of chekov's gun or whatever
but there were a bunch of flare admins there

so i beat them up

and violence roused yveltal from its slumber

i will not be fucking around with failing to catch a legendary
masterballed and forgotten

lysandre got even madder that yveltal was still a pokemon

plan for final lysandre: outskill him like always

led shark viii against mienshao, aerial ace 2hkod
switched to shark vii for pyroar and earthquake ohkod
road rage's stone edge ohkod the honch
but then lysandre mega evolved his gyarados

and that made it weak to turters' giga drain. so that was free as fuck

lysandre threw a bitch fit because he lost but i decided that i didn't care

and left

cya buddy

anyways i flew to anistar and continued my journey

on route 18 i caught fart rocket the pupitar
details dont matter because i will not be using her
sorry but ur stuck as pupitar thats no good

have i used handball? using it for my terminus cave sandslash
boxed because this team is groovin

anyways got to couriway town and sycamore wanted to fight
so we did

he wasnt a threat

man this game just throws fights at u sometimes huh

gonna need em to hit that lvl 68 for diantha

anyways speaking of fights i fought shauna, tierno, and trevor on route 19

shauna was a roll, road rage, shark viii, and turters dispatched her team easily
tierno got rolled by the same three
then trevor got rolled by god gundam

cool

got hm waterfall for it all, which is the real pog

then i went to snowbelle and headed to the pokemon village to ask to fight wulfric

which happened

so now its gym time

plan for wulfric: pray until i get past abomasnow

led god gundam because its god
heavy slam 2hkod abomasnow
which means it's swampert time
shark vii's waterfall 1hkod cryogonal
and surf 2hkod avalugg

tm13 ice beam and the last kalos badge are my rewards

but the real important shit is now

got tm rock slide from couriway
and got tm earthquake from route 22

EVERYONE knows earthquake

time to fight the gatekeeper of victory road
fuckin robbie

he got destroyed

anyways vr time

my catch exploded :(

anyways vr was just trainers

including final calem

plan for final calem: im just gonna keep winning
yeah shark viii swept the whole team

yeah

then i fought more trainers, found tm02 dragon claw, and got to the league

moveset adjustment time
shark vii learned rock slide and ice beam
shark viii learned rock slide
croc solid learned dragon claw

then i ground to 68

Shark VII the Swampert, lvl 68
Impish nature, Torrent
Capable of taking hits.
241 HP, 182 Atk, 173 Def, 136 Sp. Atk, 147 Sp. Def, 119 Spe
Waterfall/Earthquake/Ice Beam/Rock Slide
Absolutely clutch, won battles i otherwise would have lost
keeping the legacy going strong
gonna help me win it all this time too

Turters the Torterra, lvl 68
Naughty nature, Overgrow
Somewhat vain.
231 HP, 202 Atk, 158 Def, 139 Sp. Atk, 132 Sp. Def, 111 Spe
Leech Seed/Giga Drain/Crunch/Earthquake
always reliable, clutched me out of some tough spots many times
we'll see how useful he is here but he'll be important
makin zeke and pandoria proud

Croc Solid the Krookodile, lvl 68
Mild nature, Moxie
Thoroughly cunning.
230 HP, 186 Atk, 115 Def, 136 Sp. Atk, 110 Sp. Def, 151 Spe
Rock Slide/Crunch/Earthquake/Dragon Claw
moxie is one hell of a drug
its not hard for krookodile to pick up one kill
its hard to stop the train

Road Rage the Rhyperior, lvl 68
Modest Nature, Lightning Rod
Quick tempered.
259 HP, 214 Atk, 196 Def, 105 Sp. Atk, 100 Sp. Def, 99 Spe
Hammer Arm/Rock Slide/Earthquake/Stone Edge
Basically a golem+
holy shit road rage hits like a truck and takes hits like a tank
idk how much use he'll see here tho

God Gundam the Golurk, lvl 68
Jolly nature, Klutz
Quick tempered.
217 HP, 215 Atk, 136 Def, 99 Sp. Atk, 128 Sp. Def, 126 Spe
Fly/Heavy Slam/Shadow Punch/Earthquake
the definition of clutch
holy god can this dude dismantle fairies
really hoping itll pull through for me here too

Shark VIII the Garchomp, lvl 68
Quirky nature, Sand Veil
Mischievous.
245 HP, 219 Atk, 144 Def, 149 Sp. Atk, 133 Sp. Def, 179 Spe
Rock Slide/Earthquake/Dragon Claw/Crunch
the annihilator
there's a damn good reason garchompite is postgame, and this thing is basically a mega without megaing
godlike pokemon

ok

e4 time

doin siebold first, get him out of the way

"do you think pokemon battling can be called an art" no because i understand pokemon battles

plan for siebold: turters deals with everything that isn't gyara, shark vii takes down gyara

led turters, i giga drained clawitzer and he water pulsed, then he healed and i giga drained again
he healed again, so eq and crunch ended up getting the 2hko
switch to shark vii for gyara, the white herb i had him holding soaked the intim
rock slide 2hkod easily, even tho the first waterfall after it ddanced flinched me
turters came back in to ohko barbaracle with giga drain
starmie got 2hkod by giga drain + crunch

nice, that was the hardest fight here
aside from diantha

next up, drasna

"facing strong opponents will make my team grow like weeds" im aboutta pluck ur dumbass dragons

plan for drasna: moxie croc

led croc solid
dragalge failed to survive the first eq
altaria survived a +1 dragon claw but missed sing, then drasna wasted two full restores trying to save it but it went down
druddigon got ohkod before it could move
noivern's dragon pulse didnt even do half, and it also got ohkod

"that sure was a quick battle" it sure was.
git gud

wikstrom next

mans really aboutta lose in plate armor

plan for wikstrom: win the type matchup

i led shark viii and ohkod klefki with eq, but got tormented
thats fine
i have a gundam
god gundam came in on probopass and 2hkod with shadow punch into eq
scizor got 2hkod by eq
shark viii came back in for aegislash and 2hkod it with earthquake

good ser wikstrom got fucking dunked on
lmao

malva's the last e4

gonna squash her like i did to the rest of team flare

plan for malva: win the type matchup harder

led god gundam into the pyroar, ohkod it with eq
swapped in road rage for chandy, it confused my rhino but eq ohkod
god gundam came back in for torkoal and hit it with an eq, ohkoing
road rage actually didnt beat talonflame in one turn! because rock slide missed the first time.
it was still an ohko.

what a joke
get lost lady

here it is, diantha time

the most forgettable champion

plan for diantha: we have no choice but to win

led shark vii into hawlucha, ice beam 2hkod
croc solid came in for gourgeist and crunch 2hkod while it used...trick or treat
aurorus came in only to immediately die to a +1 eq
goodra did the same but it was a +2 eq
+3 eq did tyrantrum in
now i know what you're thinking: you have to switch out, mega gardevoir is faster than croc solid
if you werent thinking that now you are
and yes, this is true: after mega evolving, diantha's mega gardevoir is faster than the now lvl 70 krookodile i have on the field

but in gen 6 mega evolutions have the speed of their base form on the turn they mega evolve

which means that croc solid is faster on the turn that gardevoir mega evolves, aka the first turn it is in battle

and one turn is all a +4 croc solid needed to ohko that fucker with eq lmao

and now that im in the hall of fame, i can finally say

man this game was just boring as hell

woops wait one more fight

AZ was a joke, get ddumpstered tall man

man this game was just boring as hell

now im not gonna listen to the in game credits music because the vocal version sung at pokemon symphonic evos was SO much better

i got to see it live and it was incredible

go look it up its an incredibly pretty song

anyways thats it for kalos

france can get bent

cya in hawaii

i mean alola

regions beaten: 6
cumulative badges: 48
cumulative deaths: 6
rocky top: tennessee...
Shark: VIII
PINCHY BOY: OBTAINED x2
hoenn elite 4: soloed
Slugs: Hugged
Holes: Loved
Cap'n Munch: Overboard...
Turters: Handled
 

erk pls

Femur Snapper/Wig Snatcher
Globetrotter
Writer
Screenshotter
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
136
Caught
Jun 23, 2019
Messages
942
Nature
Jolly
Pokémon Type
Water, Fighting
Pokédex Entry
I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT, ERK PLS IS A B***H ASS MOTHER F***ER
All the pieces were there for kalos to actually be good but it just didn't respect its audience enough to make it happen. It's sad, really.

FUCK THAT SHIT THOUGH YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET TO MUDSDALE TERRITORY
 

0 Anonymous

Johto League Champion
Pokédex No.
193
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
631
Location
Zetaboards
Pokémon Type
???
Lysandre literally dips and let you decide whether or not you want the apocalypse, but then is like "sike lmao no take-backsies" when Xerosic hits it anyway

gg on kalos but man it sure is a game
Alola should be FUN
 

KirbySSU

Unova Veteran (Though Not In Nuzlockes)
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
2864
Caught
Nov 10, 2020
Messages
235
Location
Driftveil City, Unova
Nature
Relaxed
Pronouns
He/Him/They/Them
Pokémon Type
Electric, Steel
Pokédex Entry
Likes Kirby, perhaps a bit too much.
xeroisc has plot relevance outside of postgaem, wHO KneW
 

Shark

Training to be Cute
Writer
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
8
Caught
May 15, 2019
Messages
270
Location
yes
Nature
Naive
Pronouns
She/Her/They/Them
Pokémon Type
Fairy, Cute
Pokédex Entry
This Pokemon is inconcievably cute. It tries to intimidate its foes with its long, luscious locks, but to little avail.
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #78
All the pieces were there for kalos to actually be good but it just didn't respect its audience enough to make it happen. It's sad, really.

FUCK THAT SHIT THOUGH YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET TO MUDSDALE TERRITORY
HONSE TIME MOTHERFUCKERS (except not quite yet)

Lysandre literally dips and let you decide whether or not you want the apocalypse, but then is like "sike lmao no take-backsies" when Xerosic hits it anyway

gg on kalos but man it sure is a game
Alola should be FUN
idk whether u mean fun or "fun"
more interesting than kalos for sure

xeroisc has plot relevance outside of postgaem, wHO KneW
xerosic who?

sorry my motivation got dumpstered but we're back now

alola motherfuckers

kukui gave me a call, hi kukui

hes telling me about alola

also im a girl, named shark, we dont break tradition here

time to unpack

done that

time to get a pokemon

kukui dont let yourself in to peoples houses dude

got me a hat
i love it so much

been a while since ive played base sunmoon

also im playing this so we can achieve dog percent

anyways i followed kukui to iki town, and im gonna follow lillie to the ruins

lillie is one of my favorite characters in the series btw
nebby is another

pew pew

gotta go save nebby from the spearows

this is the shittiest bridge

nebby broke the bridge oh no

tapu koko saved me its ok

this game likes to fucking chug btw

was running at 28 frames earlier :)

anyways i saved lillie, shes my daughter and i love her

then hala came back
i love hala

i think the game is confused because it keeps saying my turtwig is a rowlet

anyways genbu the turtwig get

i got a pokedex and a passport too

docile (neutral) nature on the turt is meh

hau this is a turtwig not a rowlet
also we met hau and he wants to fight

i love hau

that fight was glacial ugh

tacklespam won it tho

anyways went home, went to sleep
woke up, festival time

got genbu to lvl 9 for absorb

went to the festival, wiped the floor with hau

got a z ring for my troubles

fuck yeah z moves

(i dont like z moves but ill be abusing the shit out of them)

sorry my motivation died for a week

i think itd be neat if i got a shiny during this run

i love pokemon refresh
gotta feed genbu those BEANS

anyways i went to kukui's lab

i feel bad for lillie, she's trying to be helpful by doing a bunch of things shes never done before ;;

anyways rotom dex time

i maintain that rotom tend to be used as noncombat pokemon for purposes like this, which means theyre neither trained for nor disposed to battling and as such thats why trainers dont just use their dex rotoms for combat

"if you see a person who needs help, help them" i like that philosophy

anyways hau dropped by, then i learned about the island challenge

then i went and learned about pokemon centers with lillie

and after that i went to the trainers school

gonna school these kids ha gotem

exp share get! nice

and time to rumble

man im gonna have to fight a magnemite huh
and a grimer before that

well at least i got tm work up

genbu learned it

anyways for the teacher i set up 6 work ups and beat the magnemite and meowth
lmao

anyways there's a tauros on the road into hau'oli city proper so imma pet it and move on

then i went and got the pokefinder and did that tutorial

there's so much fluff to everything in alola re: fun lil dialogue and char interactions
i cant really comment on everything here but it sure is a thing

anyways i got char customization stuff, time to blow my money on fashion

nice

done that, now for team skull on the marina

like putin on the ritz

oh hi ilima

oh hi team skull
fuckin love team skull

genbu handled the skull grunt's zubat easily but man are there a lot of poison types in early alola

ilima healed me before challenging me to a fight
forgot that was a thing

genbu 2hkod yungoos after a work up, and then smeargle was an ohko

cool that was easy

what do you mean i dont get a badge
what do you mean thats not the trial

met up with lillie after the fights, she said shes rooting for me
thank you my daughter

oh hey

a trainer with a gastly

thats actually kind of rude i have grass and normal moves

oh nvm i crit it with razor leaf and ohkod

lmao its still a gastly

anyways speaking of ghosts, theres a cemetery i can raid

im glad no trainers here have drifloons

it is early game and the moment i find one itll be sad
because i cant hit them

anyways a delibird dragged me to work in the fields

but there were some skull grunts already helping out

we had a friendly battle

then i picked some berries and left

god i LOVE the ui in the alola games
its stylish in a way that perfectly fits the aesthetics of the games, and super intuitive while also making good use of space

ui design is hard for me but ive put a lot of work into understanding the concepts and strategies behind it, so i just casually analyze and critique game ui now

swsh actually has good ui too, tho the functionality of some of those interfaces could be improved
im talking about ycomm

actually now that i think about it pokemon ui is always pretty solid, if at times a lil generic or minimalistic
gen 7 battle ui, bottom screen menu ui in hgss, c-gear, pss all amazing

anyways i found hau, instead of battling me like a normal rival he made me go to the pokemon center

genbu, mid battle: I;m thinking about thos Beans

fighting a butterfree is rough…
genbu PLEASE learn bite soon

he learned curse tho

fuck it, using the rare candy i got earlier now to make sure genbu hits 18+ for trial
anyways genbu evolved into grotle

cool trial time
gotta bully some yungoos

team skull showed up mid trial to help me out
these guys are pals, love em

plan for totem gumshoos: curse -> razor leaf

genbu used curse immediately and got scary faced, good turn 1
a yungoos showed up for turn 2, where i cursed again while gumshoos super fanged and yungoos tackled
thanks to an oran berry i stayed at above 50% hp
then razor leaf was a 2hko on totem gumshoos
so gg

got normalium z for my efforts, nice

more importantly, i got to catch a mon in verdant cavern!

say hi to fresh fabio the lvl 11 alolan diglett!
naive (+spe -sp. def) is, all things considered, really nice here

fabio immediately got locked into a long battle against SOSing zubats, but came out victorious
nice

then i left the cavern and kukui taught me how to use z moves
then told me to go find lillie, cool
fought my way through route 3 and got to melemele meadow where i needed to save nebby
classic, really

fabio learned magnitude, sexy

lillie apologized, healed me, stuffed nebby in a duffel bag, and we left

and IMMEDIATELY hau wanted to fight, thats a real rival
fabio ohkod the pika, and popplio was no match for genbu

cool

cleaned up the rest of route 3 and went straight to iki town
i wanna fight

plan for hala: curse razor leaf

grand trial begins
i ohkod mankey with razor leaf
then cursed against makuhita and ohkod with razor leaf
crabrawler got off its all out pummeling, did like 7 damage, and got 2hkod by breakneck blitz into razor leaf

gg

anyways that was the battle
koko liked it too
i got a fightinium z and a ride tauros

man im gonna have to come back here to do a lot of clean up and zygarde crystal getting huh

why is the ride outfit so ugly

anyways i took kukui's boat and went to akala

olivia tells kukui off for not wearing a shirt

then i talked with lillie about important stuff

and then i went to go fight dexio for a zygarde cube

genbu took out both mons pretty cleanly

thanks for the dog cube

Genbu the Grotle, lvl 22
Docile nature, Overgrow
Likes to fight.
66 HP, 51 Atk, 48 Def, 31 Sp. Atk, 36 Sp. Def, 25 Spe
Tackle/Curse/Razor Leaf/Bite

Fresh Fabio the Alolan Diglett, lvl 17
Naive nature, Sand Veil
Scatters things often.
35 HP, 27 Atk, 16 Def, 20 Sp. Atk, 19 Sp. Def, 40 Spe
Metal Claw/Work Up/Astonish/Magnitude

regions beaten: 6
cumulative badges: 48
trials beaten: 1
grand trials beaten: 1
cumulative deaths: 6
rocky top: tennessee...
Shark: VIII
PINCHY BOY: OBTAINED x2
hoenn elite 4: soloed
Slugs: Hugged
Holes: Loved
Cap'n Munch: Overboard...
Turters: Handled
 

erk pls

Femur Snapper/Wig Snatcher
Globetrotter
Writer
Screenshotter
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
136
Caught
Jun 23, 2019
Messages
942
Nature
Jolly
Pokémon Type
Water, Fighting
Pokédex Entry
I'VE COME TO MAKE AN ANNOUNCEMENT, ERK PLS IS A B***H ASS MOTHER F***ER
HEEEEEEEY-YO ALFJLSJG:LKSJDFKJSOIDJFOSJEOIFOSDJGLSJDG-YO

It's also kinda weird how common Rotom have become over the years. First it was a mysterious cryptid in an abandoned mansion, then it was found in trash cans at a dilapidated hotel, then it was part of a prototype Pokedex project thing...now it's in practically every computer in the Pokemon world. AND IT STILL ISN'T BEING USED TO FURTHER HUMAN-POKEMON COMMUNICATION.

i too love alola and all of its characters as if each and every one of them were my own child
 

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