Written Log General [UCL3] It's Always a Good Day to Eat Dirt

[Shark]

hi im shark

i did one of these ucl things before

it was mono normal

i lost in plat and it killed my groove, my mojo, my drive, my zest, and all of my pokemon

so i gave up



BUT TODAY IS A NEW DAY

AND IT IS A GOOD DAY

TO EAT DIRT!

Spoiler: rules

A Mono Type challenge is where you play through an entire game using only one type of Pokemon (dual types and Pokemon who evolve into your type are usable). You may choose a type or have fate decide what you use. You can choose from two styles:

Naturallocke: You play with what is available in the game your playing. Choose a type that is fairly common or hope you get lucky. Natural players can do gift replacements if none of the gifts are of your type.

Randomlocke: You play a game with randomized encounters so you have better access to your type in each region. Later games (I.E Gen 6 and 7 where randomizers are not available) you can replace this with an Egglocke.

1. Only catch the first Pokemon of your type in each route or area. This also includes Pokemon that will evolve into your type. Caves count as one area. Suggestion: Make a list of Pokemon in your current region that are legit catches and keep it near you while you play
1a. Gift Clause: You may receive a gift and get a catch of your type in each area/Town/or Cave. You are limited to one gift per area though so you cannot get Eevee and Abra from Goldenrod City if your type is Psychic
1b. Dupes Clause: You may ignore all Pokemon not of your Type (unless they evolve into your type). You may keep getting encounters until you find a Pokemon you do not already have of your type. You may catch dupes if you desire (to use or hold as backups)
1c. Shiny Clause: Shiny Pokemon may be caught and used regardless of its type. This includes the Red Gyarados in Gen 2.

2. Faint =Dead

3. Nickname all the Pokemon

4. Games end as follows:
Kanto: Pokemon League Champion
Johto: Johto League Champion
Hoenn: Hoenn League Champion
Sinnoh: Sinnoh League Champion
Black/White: Stop Ghetsis
Black2/White 2: Unova League Champion
Kalos: Kalos League Champion
Alola: Alolan League Champion
Galar: Complete the Champion Cup and Defeat Leon

5. There is no Rule 5

6. Legendary Pokemon may not be used.

Spoiler: update list

1) start kanto, brock, misty
2) surge, erika, rocket hq
3) pokemon tower, silph co, sabrina, koga
4) blaine, sevii islands, giovanni, finish kanto
5) start johto, falkner, bugsy
6) whitney, morty
7) chuck, pryce, jasmine
8) radio tower, clair, finish johto
9) start hoenn, roxanne, brawly, wattson
10) flannery, norman

let's go baybeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Spoiler: Update 1: It's a Good Day to Eat Dirt

starting with a title drop cuz
bitch
im
back

im named shark
rival is windy
cuz uh, wind
air
flying
yknow

playing this one on Leaf Green Version for sandy shrew man

i think u can get both nidos in this
w/e

bulbasaur gets earth power in gen 8 so its basically the ground type


kidding but i want my rival to have the thing that doesnt wreck my shit

yo lets go i lost the first rival battle

that actually sucks i wanted prize money

you dont get running shoes until brock i hate this

wait a sec i uh
dont get a legal encounter before brock

lets try this again

named my player and rival the same
the amount of times ive picked the guy by turboing too hard and had to reset...its a lot

anyways i got everyone's favorite starter

mudkip

thats the legal one
trust me
perfectly legit kantonian mudkip
farm-raised
not actually oak found it in some river or some shit idk

do i seem like i know things

anyways, I, Shark, will wield Shark Jr. the Mudkip in my quest for victory!!!

shark jr is bold and iiii probably cant evolve it
hold on

anyways time for monoleaf groundgreen

wait

ok so i finally did everything right, i think, so we have a new Shark Jr. the Mudkip, and this one is bashful, and male like the other one. cool

this time i won the first battle and got a cool new stab move

what do you mean mudkip isnt ground type it says "mud" and plays around in mudbanks

get over yourself

anyways this is the only mon ill have til after brock so i will now proceed to annhilate this half of kanto with a fish

leveled to 10 on route 22, got water gun, proceeded to watergun the shit out of my rival
fun!

went into viridian forest

found a pika within my first... idk how many encounters
i think thats good luck
idk if its still good luck after i ohkod it tho

w/e

steamrolled the forest, my kip is lvl 15, time to kick brocks ass

i beat camper liam and my kip evolved
now Shark Jr. is a Marshtomp
brock stands 0 chance

anyways shark jr learned rock tomb

what do you mean i skipped the fight? there wasnt a fight

seriously i used rock tomb twice
and brock died
yeah he died his pokemon fled
kinda sad, i'm officiating the funeral
anyhoo

i beat a bunch of trainers and got my route 3 catch

we got the blue nido




no its not a shiny nidoran male

Girl Power is a brave lvl 6 nidoran girl mode
nice
i think

anyways i level ground girl power until i found a geodude in the mountain

girl power is now lvl 13

Big Rock the lvl 8 Geodude is here too, and she is mild
damn that nature kinda stinks
oh well


time to mount moon

what the hell does that even mean

anyways girl power evolved
im waiting to use the moon stone
also i got the moonstone

got tm thief
thief is the same power as bite, which i was waiting for

nidoqueen time

:)

anyways i beat all the rockets in mount moon
cool
time to beat up miguel

oh sorry i mean Super Nerd miguel
2 magnitudes and a rock throw
pretty easy


out of the cave
girl power learned mega kick
big rock learned mega punch
cool
caught a sandshrew! wao!
cool!
his name is kickball he is lvl 10 and his nature is naughty

anyways i turned set mode on because i forgot to, might turn it off so i can switch grind kickball

anyways kickball beat 2 of Windy's pokemon and i used girl power for bird and lizard

nugget bridge was easy

then i couldnt join team rocket
yknow id at least like to pretend theres a moral dilemma there

ok so i cleared out the entire route above nugget bridge

kickball learned tm secret power as well as lvl up move poison sting
nice

talked to bill, separated his cells, good shit

everyone is at 20 except shark jr who is 21
time for gym

shark jr is now at 22

plan for misty (bringin this back):
use mud shot extremely liberally

lets go

turn 1 i mud shot, mistys staryu hardens
2nd mud shot kos
starmie comes out and water pulses, but 1st mud shot lowered speed and second kod
nice

thanks for the badge

"tm03 is water pulse! use it on an aquatic pokemon"

uhhhh those are the blue ones right? that includes nidoqueen. time for girl power to power up!

got rid of mega kick because it kinda sucks

went and beat the rocket dude so i could teach kickball dig

that's it update's over

Spoiler: team stats

Shark Jr. the Marshtomp, lvl 23
Bashful nature, Torrent
71 HP 47 Atk 43 Def 39 Sp. Atk 43 Sp. Def 37 Spe
Rock Tomb/Mud Shot/Mud-Slap/Water Gun

Girl Power the Nidoqueen, lvl 20
Brave nature, Poison Point
69 HP 42 Atk 40 Def 37 Sp. Atk 39 Sp. Def 38 Spe
Thief/Scratch/Water Pulse/Double Kick

Big Rock the Geodude, lvl 20
Mild nature, Rock Head
49 HP 42 Atk 44 Def 24 Sp. Atk 19 Sp. Def 18 Spe
Mega Punch/Defense Curl/Magnitude/Rock Throw

Kickball the Sandshrew, lvl 20
Naughty nature, Sand Veil
54 HP 40 Atk 42 Def 16 Sp. Atk 18 Sp. Def 25 Spe
Secret Power/Dig/Sand-Attack/Poison Sting

 

[Chess]

aw hell yes. dirt. soil. mud. all of those good things

love the absolutely normal kantonian mudkip, also kickball

 

[erk pls]

what do you mean mudkip isnt ground type it says "mud" and plays around in mudbanks

get over yourself

this is so aggressive and honestly? i'm here for it
GO, MY SAND SHARK FRIEND, AND BRING JUSTICE FOR GROUND-TYPES EVERYWHERE

 

[Honey Badger]

nidoqueen is the most aquatic of pokemon, besides mud fish of course.

anyways i level ground girl power until i found a geodude in the mountain

shoutout to ground being the past tense of grind

 

[Shark]

Spoiler: replies

aw hell yes. dirt. soil. mud. all of those good things

love the absolutely normal kantonian mudkip, also kickball

i absolutely love loam, and loamy things like that. clay is also excellent, fantastic. i do mean the type of soil, jury's out on the person currently
also kickball loves you too!

this is so aggressive and honestly? i'm here for it
GO, MY SAND SHARK FRIEND, AND BRING JUSTICE FOR GROUND-TYPES EVERYWHERE

slow down there, friend, the sand sharks arent for a while yet
but i do plan to bring justice

nidoqueen is the most aquatic of pokemon, besides mud fish of course.

shoutout to ground being the past tense of grind

yeah but unlike ground i dont grind
i just level
difference
also nidoqueen is blue, therefore its pretty much a water type. yeah, confirmed.

This episode: I nearly lose a Nidoqueen to an Exeggcute

Spoiler: Update 2: Good Ol' Rocky Top, Rocky Top Tennessee

So this is from the notes:
"leveling as i go"

fuck you, me, what does this even mean. how am i supposed to entertain the fans with this? why. why would you do this.


so anyways i was leveling as i went
(also most of this and every update is copypasted from the notes)

big rock does not learn self destruct please

got to vermillion
so i went right to diglett's cave

Molley the lvl 18 diglett get
hardy, sand veil
huh
boxed, too frail

ok time to get everyone to 24

WHOA KICKBALL EVOLVED AT 22?
legitimately surprised. didn't know he had it in him
what a lad, what a chad

kickball is now spiky mans. he got slash at 24

girl power got body slam at 22. nice as hell

kickball got tm brick break
pretty nice

oh shit geodude evolves at 25
you're seeing that i use these pokemon a lot, clearly

anyways big rock is now A Bigger Rock
(with four arms! sexy)

found my rival
shark jr used rock tomb on the bird and mudshot everything else to death

using the diglett to cut
molley will be useful

got a bike voucher, redeemed it for bike
yay
i want to ride my bicycle all day

gym time :)

plan for surge: sir you're a joke to a ground type user

led kickball, used slash while surge's voltorb used sonic boom
slash didnt kill so surge healed, i did it again
then i used dig because i got bored
another dig ohkod the pikachu
got para'd by static so i switched to big rock
magnitude 6 ohkod
nice

thanks for the badge, idiod


time to head to rock tunnel
taught kickball aerial ace over poison sting

caught an onix! level...13…
named Rocky Top and i WILL use it.
And evolve it because i have natdex.
rocky top is adamant, which, thank god, she needs it
i got a friend to give me a metal coat...only to find out that fixing impossible evos makes her evolve at 30 with no item shenaniganery
fuck

rock tunnel was stressful with a lot of low pp and magnitude scares, but nothing unusual

went to do lavender rival fight

rocky top took out the bird and charmeleon
exeggcute nearly killed girl power, had to switch to kickball to end that satanspawn

seriously it leech seeded her on switch in, she failed to ko with body slam so it hypnosis'd her and set up reflect, then started spamming confusion
jesus christ it didnt fuck around, hated that thing

not fucking around with kadabra either, ended it with shark jr
rocky top took out gyarados

piss off, windy

anyways time for celadon!
and a lil grinding
ground to 30 across, rocky top evolved into steelix, then i saw that erika's ace is 29
oh well

celadon is here, and i am celadon

plan for erika: girl power and rocky top fight go

i wasnt keeping track of how long things took, but girl power took out the victreebel and vileplume while paralyzed and rocky top took out the tangela, also while paralyzed
i had to use a bunch of super potions
fight probably took around 10-20 turns
awful, truly
fuck giga drain

fuck paralysis that fight kinda sucked
thanks for the badge
bitch

gonna start saving money for ice beam and thunder bolt and shadow ball and flame thrower tms
:x

anyways rocket hideout time baybeeeeeeeeeeeee

love the music here
too bad its not gen 1

i like the chippier chiptune tbh

i should mention that im selling every single tm that i get thats not usable
one ice beam is 80,000 pokedollars, same for thunderbolt and flamethrower. shadow ball is 90,000 if i get it (probably not?)

that said i also bought dig for rocky top and girl power

anyways, giovanni time

plan for giovanni the first: kickball goes for the shins
onix got 2hkod by dig + brick break
rhyhorn ohkod by crit dig
kang flinched me three whole times with bite, forcing me to heal, but brick break 2hkod after 1 fake out 2 mega punches and 3 bites (wow)

giovanni ur moms a ho, go be an evil mafioso dude
thanks for the silph scope
bitch

Spoiler: team stats and progress

Shark Jr. the Marshtomp, lvl 33
Bashful nature, Torrent
99 HP, 67 Atk, 62 Def, 55 Sp. Atk, 60 Sp. Def, 53 Spe
Rock Tomb/Mud Shot/Take Down/Water Gun

Girl Power the Nidoqueen, lvl 32
Brave nature, Poison Point
105 HP, 67 Atk, 62 Def, 57 Sp. Atk, 59 Sp. Def, 61 Spe
Dig/Body Slam/Water Pulse/Shock Wave

Big Rock the Graveler, lvl 32
Mild nature, Rock Head
83 HP, 75 Atk, 77 Def, 47 Sp. Atk, 37 Sp. Def, 39 Spe
Mega Punch/Defense Curl/Magnitude/Rollout

Kickball the Sandslash, lvl 33
Naughty nature, Sand Veil
100 HP, 83 Atk, 84 Def, 40 Sp. Atk, 41 Sp. Def, 59 Spe
Slash/Dig/Brick Break/Aerial Ace

Rocky Top the Steelix, lvl 32
Adamant nature, Rock Head
101 HP, 71 Atk, 139 Def, 43 Sp. Atk, 50 Sp. Def, 37 Spe
Dig/Screech/Rock Slide/Rock Throw

badges: 4
deaths: 0
Rocky Top: Tennessee

 

[erk pls]

all ground-types fear the psychic coconut
giovanni calls himself a ground-type specialist but he's a fake gamer, you showed him who the real ground user is and you shall do so again

 

[Cirr]

So this is from the notes:
"leveling as i go"

this entertained me

found my rival
shark jr used rock tomb on the bird and mudshot everything else to death

eat dirt

giovanni ur moms a ho, go be an evil mafioso dude
thanks for the silph scope
bitch

good robbing

 

[Shark]

Spoiler: rplies

all ground-types fear the psychic coconut
giovanni calls himself a ground-type specialist but he's a fake gamer, you showed him who the real ground user is and you shall do so again

damn right hes a fake gamer
i showed him then and ill show him now

this entertained me



eat dirt



good robbing

wow i cant believe i entertained you with that shitty line. i must be a genius.
anyways we're gonna rob more people soon

this time on DragonBall Z: shark has like a gajillion sheer heart attacks. haha anime reference amirite

pls help im dying

Spoiler: Update 3: Jumpscares on Turbo Mode

back on my bullshit its go time baybeeeeeeeeee

time for spooksville usa

clearly next to rocky top tennessee

first i got some tea from the nice old lady

and shared it with the mean old guards blocking me from entering saffron
nice

went into the fighting dojo in saffron, almost lost shark jr to a FUCKING CROSS CHOP MANKEY HELLO WHAT
left the fighting dojo in saffron

climbing the spooky tower

curse cant hurt you if you faint them that same turn
valuable life lesson
if someone curses you, beat the stuffing out of them to end the battle and remove the curse

you might ask

"Shark why do you insist on using rollout"

and the answer is that im not a COWARD

it is a pivotally powerful move in the right situations

and i crave POWER

anyways while climbing el tower i caught and boxed Boner the Cubone
im mature i swear
no im not lmao

anyways i got told to begone intruders, idk even what an intruders are or how to begone them

fuck off i failed 3rd grade

mama marowak then tried to fight me for catching one of her cubabies and i water gunned her 3 times
she was really pissed tho a double crit bonemerang nearly killed shark jr. jesus fuck.


jesus fuck.

anyways

shark jr hit 35 off of one of the rockets
and i have a rare candy

so i have a swampert now
fun
good
totally not broken

anyways i talked to mr fuji, and expressed my interest in learning to be a professional flautist

he told me he couldnt help me much but gave me a shitty reedless recorder (actually i think theyre all reedless but who gives a shit) and told me to chase my glory

i think i will, old man. i think i will.

also i just had a moment where i looked at my team and thought "that sure is a lot of ground types, huh"

then about 2 seconds later i realized "wait a second"

i never claimed to be smart. and i hope you all never claim that i am either.


time to wake up a snorlax
thats also one of the stupidest things you could do in the pokemon world, probably

probably

i have elected not to collect fly. i cannot use it until generation 5. at least not on any legal pokemon
no im not kidding

anyways i beat up a snorlax
it went back to the mountains, poor thing. ill miss it.
time for cycle road

the amount of close calls ive had here…
everyone here is a twisted fucking cycle path

but i reached fuschia

and theres a safari zone

Safari Zone: You may either throw balls until something remains caught or attempt to catch the first time you encounter in each area. If you take the later option and catch more than one Pokemon, you must choose one of the caught Pokemon and release the others. Dupes clause still is active.

so fun fact i was planning to just say "oh no, none of the 0 balls i threw at the nidos i encountered stuck before i managed to catch a rhyhorn" but i only found a rhyhorn. after, yknow, 2 parasects and a pinsir, aka 2 consecutive 5% encounters and a 4% encounter. huh.
anyways i was thinking about the song "覚醒" by Superfly, used in the hit movie Promare by TRIGGER studios, when i caught this rhyhorn, so Kakusei the quirky lightningrod Rhyhorn joins the crew

anyways time to go clear out the routes from fuschia to lavender and grind my rhyhorn to 42

ok done
kakusei nearly died to a dodrio tri attack due to a level difference
but done
kakusei evolved into rhydon at lvl 42

also grinding everyone to 42 to steamroll this part of the game

big rock evolved at 37! and got rock blast
and shark jr got muddy water, for all of a few minutes until i replace it with surf

ok grind has been ground (hehe ground)

kickball also got cut at one point, replacing slash, but i deleted cut thanks to the move deleter
then i picked up strength and surf. everyone but girl power learned strength
shark jr learned surf

yeah some hms are useful. they're called strength.

nice.

silph co time
people keep telling me to go home
but im a young trainer on a journey. i NEVER do that

ended up passing up superpower on girl power
sorry, it's just Not Worth It right now.
i might get her shadow ball later

i love how windy is like "yeah im just chumming it up with a crime syndicate here, haha LOL. guess that being a hero slowed you down! anyways imma beat the shit out of you hahahahaha"

what a dick, really

pidgeot died to 1 crit of rock blast from kakusei so we know how this is going
then eggs came out and paralyzed kakusei so i sent out girl power and ice beamed. free.
kickball took out alakazam (that one's real scary though >.<)
kakusei came back and beat gyara because that thing doesnt learn water moves til 40
kakusei also nuked zard with rock blast
bye bitch

time for giovanni 2: im still the better ground type user
plan for giovanni: kickball show em who's boss
kickball ohkod nidorino, 2hkod kang with brick break, and 2hkod rhyhorn while taking less than 50% of his hp in damage in the process. nice
then nidoqueen

















forced me to use a full restore because of poison point, but was still a 2hko LOL

what you thought i would lose?
get over yourself

i got some dumb purble pokeball
if i find some weird colored mon ill use it on that
idk
cleaned out the fighting dojo
time for the psychic dojo

big rock got eq at lvl 45! and rocky top got iron tail at 45! we're making PROGRESS in these movesets

plan for sabrina: win, i think
led kakusei because sometimes you just wanna use raw power
so kadabra set up a reflect before dying,
and then mr mime used barrier, confused kakusei, and baton passed to venomoth
thank god not to alakazam
anyways after a bunch of crit psybeams and hyper potions to heal them off, i FINALLY killed the venomoth.
then mr mime crit me again and confused me, i still beat it but. forced to switch for alakazam
thankfully rockytop gives less than 2 shits about psychic moves
anyways sabrina was really impressed by my steelix and gave me a badge. nice

ight one more bitch to beat up for this update

plan for koga: i have 2 mons immune to toxic and koga cant touch steelix or nidoqueen so get bent buddy
so i led girl power, and koga fucking nearly ohkod her with koffing's self destruct.
ok
cool
good start
very nice
i switched to rockytop and stopped giving a shit
but weezing nearly made me miss all my iron tails so

h

fuck that battle

koga fuck you
pay for my hospital bills that i got for that fucking HEART ATTACK you gave me
jeez

give me your badge you harlot
tm06 toxic? damn right u are BITCH fuck you

update over

Spoiler: team stats and progress

Shark Jr. the Swampert, lvl 45
Bashful nature, Torrent
157 HP, 117 Atk, 105 Def, 97 Sp. Atk, 100 Sp. Def, 81 Spe
Rock Tomb/Mud Shot/Strength/Surf

Girl Power the Nidoqueen, lvl 45
Brave nature, Poison Point
145 HP, 101 Atk, 91 Def, 84 Sp. Atk, 82 Sp. Def, 85 Spe
Ice Beam/Body Slam/Dig/Thunderbolt

Big Rock the Golem, lvl 45
Mild nature, Rock Head
137 HP, 119 Atk, 124 Def, 77 Sp. Atk, 68 Sp. Def, 63 Spe
Strength/Brick Break/Earthquake/Rock Blast

Kickball the Sandslash, lvl 45
Naughty nature, Sand Veil
135 HP, 116 Atk, 118 Def, 56 Sp. Atk, 55 Sp. Def, 81 Spe
Strength/Dig/Brick Break/Aerial Ace

Rocky Top the Steelix, lvl 46
Adamant nature, Rock Head
141 HP, 105 Atk, 203 Def, 63 Sp. Atk, 70 Sp. Def, 51 Spe
Dig/Screech/Rock Slide/Rock Throw

Kakusei the Rhydon, lvl 45
Quirky nature, Lightningrod
152 HP, 139 Atk, 116 Def, 57 Sp. Atk, 58 Sp. Def, 63 Spe
Strength/Stomp/Dig/Rock Blast

badges: 6
deaths: 0
Rocky Top: Tennessee

 

[erk pls]

>Shark Jr evolves into Swampert
SURPRISE, BITCHES!
>But there are also a lot of near-deaths
SURPRISE, gents.

Look at it this way, though--your mons become far stronger whenever they almost die. That's why Shark Jr. evolved after nearly dying twice--he's got Saiyan blood in him. Don't question it, just enjoy it.

 

[Cirr]

anyways while climbing el tower i caught and boxed Boner the Cubone
im mature i swear
no im not lmao

shark 10/10 mature

 

[Shark]

Spoiler: relpies

>Shark Jr evolves into Swampert
SURPRISE, BITCHES!
>But there are also a lot of near-deaths
SURPRISE, gents.

Look at it this way, though--your mons become far stronger whenever they almost die. That's why Shark Jr. evolved after nearly dying twice--he's got Saiyan blood in him. Don't question it, just enjoy it.

yeah and my life gets shorter every time they almost die
im an old woman by now yknow

shark 10/10 mature

absolutely not and im gonna keep it that way
maturity overrated

im fucking exhausted

Spoiler: Update 4: Fuck Kanto

onto the seas

water trainers arent scary if u have a big level advantage

also this girl just asked if she could "have my ride" what

no, no you don't get my swampert. no. not happening.

decided to explore seafoam
why is there a bird in a cave
you dont belong here
ill set you free



with rock blast :)


then i got lost for a lil while longer, but now im here.

here = cinnabar

:)

anyways time to explore an old house for a key

there are some books in here

im not reading them, but hey. the burglars can entertain themselves

probably just dusty old fiction realistic fiction novels.

anyways time for blaine's gym. shark jr will solo, probably

plan for blaine: shark jr. creates a tidal wave and annihilates all four of his pokemon at once

and that's EXACTLY what happened.

sorry to

rain

on your parade

get it because i swept him with surf



BRAND NEW ADDITION TO THIS VERSION OF A SHARK UCL: THE SEVII ISLANDS!

WOAH

SO EXCITING

REVOLUTIONARY

i actually love the sevii islands...in post game. the music is nice
but pre-post-game theyre boring :/

hi celio
you're boring too

bill, ill do the errand for you and your bf, but first i need to loot treasure beach and beat a bird up

:)

sadly all the shit on the beach needs an item finder
or a guide but im lazy

:(

crush kin? kiinda scary

ok i have the money for shadow ball, which meeeeeeeeeans
im gonna replace body slam with rock smash on girl power for now, then give her shadow ball when i can.

nice

also gave kakusei focus punch for funsies :)

anyways i climbed mt ember and beat the bird
nice

went to two island, the guy yelled at me to find lostelle, then some motorbike dude was alsop lost.

people get lost here a lot huh.

went to three island to beat up a LOT of bikers. i mean a LOT.

everyone's at lvl 50! except shark jr but thatll happen in giovanni's gym. :)

anyways i beat up a hungry hungry hypno, rescued lostelle, said bye to the lovebirds, and headed back to kanto.

whyd it drop me in cinnabar >:(

anyways i looped around to fuschia on foot, stopping in celadon to pick up shadow ball. also giving out some other tms.

shark jr gets blizzard

kakusei gets fire blast

:)

anyways gym time

SHARK JR. GOT EQ YEAHHHHHHHHHHHHH

LETS FUCKING GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

plan for threeovanni: assert dominance

i led with kakusei because i want her to hit 51
she killed rhyhorn fine, but a crit eq from nidoqueen did 75% so i said "fuck that"
so in came shark jr, who swept everything that wasnt rhyhorn #1

ok so moment of truth: for the 3 pokemon who dont get eq naturally, who gets the eq tm?

the answer is girl power because she really fuckin needs it

anyways i think that's dominance asserted



plan for windy fight # a billion:
Arawaru kuroi sora
Kodou wa raimei wo kurikaesu
Arashi ga kuru mae ni
Koyoi wa ano uta wo sazukemashou
(yes these are the opening lyrics to kakusei by superfly)

kakusei took out pidgeot and exeggcute
gyarados gets hydro pump now so i had to switch shark jr in
shark jr took out gyara+zard+rhyhorn
rocky top took out zam

bye bitch cya in the league

ok finally

time to go through the badge gates

and then back again because i have no healing items :x

ok so i went back to victory road after buying *checks notes* a lot of hyper potions

keep in mind that these are it because im not walking back to celadon to grind. im grinding in victory road.

anyways i cleared victory road, time to grind to 60.
see you on the other side

kakusei got eq at 58, thank fuck. grinding it was giving me an aneurism with all the close calls before now :x

IT'S MOTHER FUCKING TIME

Spoiler: Team Stats Pre E4

Shark Jr. the Swampert, lvl 60
Bashful nature, Torrent
211 HP, 164 Atk, 150 Def, 130 Sp. Atk, 133 Sp. Def, 112 Spe
Blizzard/Earthquake/Strength/Surf
The GoaT, the legend himself, the junior to my shark, this lad carried me through so much of the game, and will carry me through even more. every near death makes him EVEN STRONGER. fuckin watch out world, here comes Shark mother fucking Jr.

Girl Power the Nidoqueen, lvl 60
Brave nature, Poison Point
193 HP, 139 Atk, 123 Def, 112 Sp. Atk, 114 Sp. Def, 118 Spe
Ice Beam/Earthquake/Thunderbolt/Shadow Ball
Don't let her stats fool you; she's the coverage queen, and her high-power moves more than make up for her meager stats. Absolutely killer team member, her versatility has been godlike so far and will continue to be godlike.

Big Rock the Golem, lvl 60
Mild nature, Rock Head
182 HP, 169 Atk, 174 Def, 103 Sp. Atk, 92 Sp. Def, 90 Spe
Strength/Brick Break/Earthquake/Rock Blast
She should have been the one to get Fire Blast, not Kakusei. Oops. But seriously, while Kakusei may outmuscle her (and everyone else on the team), Big Rock is my Big Fucking Rock. Throw her at shit to make it hurt.

Kickball the Sandslash, lvl 60
Naughty nature, Sand Veil
179 HP, 162 Atk, 163 Def, 74 Sp. Atk, 74 Sp. Def, 117 Spe
Aerial Ace/Dig/Brick Break/Strength
Unfortunately, Kickball will most likely be "Sir not appearing in this film" from here on out. That said, major MAJOR homie in this run. What's that? No moves above base 80? Weak stab? No problems for kickball, who has the bulk to slowly dispatch anything and even tank SE hits. Sadly, his power is waning hard, and at best he'll be used for Bruno.

Rocky Top the Steelix, lvl 60
Adamant nature, Rock Head
183 HP, 145 Atk, 275 Def, 82 Sp. Atk, 92 Sp. Def, 74 Spe
Dig/Iron Tail/Rock Slide/Strength
Rocky Top, you'll always be
Home sweet home to me
Good ol' Rocky Top
Rocky Top, Tennessee
Rocky Top, Tennessee
i could go on but you get the point. Rocky Top is the unbreakable wall of my dreams, except with no recovery. Still, while she's physically the second weakest, her monstrous bulk and powerful Iron Tails make her stronger than Kickball in many situations. Absolutely my backup to tank shit I need tanked

Kakusei the Rhydon, lvl 60
Quirky nature, Lightningrod
202 HP, 192 Atk, 168 Def, 78 Sp. Atk, 78 Sp. Def, 93 Spe
Earthquake/Fire Blast/Strength/Rock Blast
God, Rhydon are SO COOL. One of my favorite gen 1 pokemon, I'm so glad Stormer's rules basically GUARANTEED me a Rhyhorn. Kakusei in particular...so fucking many close calls, but she finally made it here, and with that MONSTROUS attack and STAB FUCKIN EARTHQUAKE she will decimate whatever she fights...I just have to decide what that will be, first.

Anyways, here we go.

Plan for Lorelei: Combined assault from Girl Power and Rocky Top

I led Girl Power, she effortlessly 2hkod Dewgong with Thunderbolt while it put up a safeguard. Good job, idiot.
Cloyster was a 1hko with tbolt as well. very nice.
slowbro was a 2hko with shadow ball, as it set up amnesia.
gooder job, idioter.
(reminder that shadow ball is physical in gen 3, its easy to forget.)
lorelei's jynx doesn't have a psychic move, so i just stayed in and ohkod it with shadow ball. outsped too.
tbolt did less than half to lapras and it confused me...so i switched to Rocky Top, who took an ice beam like a champ.
she then proceeded to miss iron tail, get confused, and barely survive a surf after i healed her to full hp.
yikes.
enter shark jr.
then it was a lot of healing amidst being confused and not hitting eq due to confusion while being barraged by surf and ice beam...but he broke through. and ended the hellbeast lapras.

god, that was. TOO close.

plan for bruno: i'll try using kickball

here's ur chance, champ
i led with kickball against onix 1, i used brick break because both onix have eq, and the onix used eq
yeah
no digging
2hko on onix 1 with brick break, and onix 2 played the same as onix 1
hitmonchan whiffed a rock tomb instead of using something like counter, and aerial ace 2hkod
crit aerial ace then ohkod hitmonlee
AND ANOTHER ONE
AND MACHAMP IS OHKOD BY ANOTHER CRIT AERIAL ACE KICKBALL YOU GOD
WHAT A CHAMP, WHAT A GENIUS
kickball is truly the hero we needed

plan for agatha: i have a big rock

i led big rock against her first gengar, and it proceeded to make me waste rock blasts while doing minimal damage.
5th one landed the ko, finally
arbok was an ohko even after intim. eq lol
golbat forced me to tag in kakusei thanks to confusion, but then kakusei's better hp still didn't help much against confusion.
still got it with a rock blast, after some healing.
then haunter came out and whiffed a hypnosis as i switched to Girl Power
who then proceeded to ohko haunter with a shadow ball
second gengar thought it could compete in a shadow ball game
it was wrong, and after it whiffed a hypnosis shadow ball 2hkod.
gg no re

plan for lance: show him some girl power

led girl power vs gyarados, outsped and ohkod with thunderbolt
nice
aerodactyl did piss all with wing attack and thunderbolt was a 2hko
girl power then outsped dragonite, who safeguarded, healed with its berry, and got 2hkod by ice beam
then rekt both dragonairs with ice beam and eq combos (to preserve ice beam pp)
nice nice nice


then i gave rocky top a lum berry to hold

plan for champion windy: rocky top and shark jr wipe the floor with his sorry ass

"i am the most powerful trainer in the world" that's cute
im about to wipe the floor with ur ass using a monotype team, buckaroo
except the pidgeot was a bitch and used feather dance, forcing me to switch to shark early
rhydon was an ohko with surf tho (prior to that i missed two rock slides and chipped pidgeot with the one in between)
switched back to rocky top for egg, who came out next
this is where the fight got muddy, because i was more focused on WINNING than on taking notes
still, there were a lot of switches
and shark jr had a grueling battle with gyarados, which culminated in a victory for the swampert
i ran egg out of giga drain pp with rocky top after that, and proceeded to beat its ass with iron tail and strength
also healed up shark jr before koing that tree bastard
there was a switch to zard after the heal, but i switched to shark jr and almost ko'd it, then egg came back out and i switched back to rockytop, who finished it off
then pidgeot came out, and started f-dancing so i switched to girl power
one tbolt killed it, then zam came out

so i switched to rockytop

who missed two iron tails and died at 50% from a crit psychic

god. damnit.

Rocky Top, you'll always be
Home sweet home to me
Good ol' Rocky Top
Rocky Top, Tennessee
Rocky Top, Tennessee

rest in peace, sweet girl
level 13-60

i brought out big rock and eq'd, while zam used future sight

then i eq'd again because reflect was up

and zam was dead
and last out was a zard on 1 hp

so i brick broke into a full restore, BUT i broke the reflect.

and then i healed up after the future sight attack brought big rock to 11 hp (11!)
big rock then took 2 fire blasts (one after being healed)
before DECIMATING that twunk-ass lizard with a 2 hit rock blast

trust me there was a LOT more to that fight it was like 30 turns
but also it was so intense in the moment and too exhausting in the now to remember.
sorry
thats all i got but it was a bitch

and that's all she wrote

she being me

anyways im beat
as in tired
because we won kanto
fuck kanto

fuck kanto

johto soon

cya

Spoiler: Progress

Regions Beaten: 1
Cumulative Badges: 8
Cumulative Deaths: 1
Rocky Top: Tennessee...

 

[redninjapuffle]

oof
rip, hope johto is better

 

[Anemone]

good work kicking Kanto to the kerb

 

[erk pls]

Regions Beaten: 1
Cumulative Badges: 8
Cumulative Deaths: 1
Rocky Top: Tennessee...

Hotel: Trivago
sorry

Good job clearing out Kanto, hopefully things will get better when more interesting type combos enter the fold

 

[Cirr]

congrats, and fuck kanto

 

[Shark]

Spoiler: replys

oof
rip, hope johto is better

kanto wasnt even bad, that finale was just stressful
1 death is pretty damn good all things considered

good work kicking Kanto to the kerb

thanks boutta do the same to johto

Hotel: Trivago
sorry

Good job clearing out Kanto, hopefully things will get better when more interesting type combos enter the fold

ill fucking put that in my team stats and progress list now
dont test me
anyways yeah not much is gonna change for now tho

congrats, and fuck kanto

fuck kanto

johto soon

johto now

(this one's long fsr. i was feeling chatty today)

Spoiler: Update 5: Rock You like a Geodude

playing as a girl, named shark, wowee who woulda expected that?
wowowowow

the computer has no items! only mail

mail sucks
even when its from ethan

anyways mom gave me things, like a bag and a card and a save and a options

then ethan said hi, i ignored him and played with his marill cuz its a baby

bnuuy

anyways i went, ignored the dude peepin elms business through the window, talked to elm, got a kip

YEAH BOI ITS ANOTHER KIP

this was the result of a coinflip between turt and kip. sorry turt fans

anyways this one is Shark III because we had Jr. already. succession is srs bsns
lax nature kinda bites
oh well

ethan told me to walk with my pokemon, i ignored him and played with the marill again

then i went to tell mom im going places, gonna be a famous people, and she gave me my phone

cant be famous without twitter

as i left town elm insisted he add me on twitter

sure whatever

the price i pay for being famous

anyways
onto cherrygrove

why is it called cherrygrove are there cherry trees there? there should be cherry blossoms or something
idgi

god mudkip is so SMALL
CHILD
you LAD
you fucking BABY
i love it so much


then a man showed me around cherrygrove. he ran way too fast for me to keep up with in my uggs, or yeezys, or whatever the kids these days wear. i always wear either birkenstocks, slippers, or running shoes myself, but clearly in game me didnt have the latter.
i used to wear converse, but they were too flat and hurt my feet. shame, too, cuz they're cute as hell

then the man gave me some sneakers
deadass sir how can you afford to just give out running shoes
those are like $100+ irl, they can't be that cheap in the pokemon world can they?
dude's fucking LOADED

HE ALSO JUST GIVES U A SIM CARD WHO IS THIS MAN
what is the lore behind the cherrygrove guide gent

anyways i went to route 30 and a man gave me an apricorn box
i know this thing is special but like. how exactly does it work. how big is it. i must know the details so i can create a 1-1 scale replica

dont ask why

please don't ask why

if i say anymore ill be next

went to mr pokemon's house, they should have given him a unique sprite
oak gave me a pokey dex
cool!

useless.

elm called me about some disaster
probably his sink clogged again, im the only handywoman in the goddamn town
christ, what'll they do without me

running back to elms house to fix his damn sink, some twink decides he wants to fight me

i want this twink OBLITERATED

show me your "good pokemon"

its a cyndaquil that doesnt even beat ground
dipshit

he loses to me, then tells me he'll be the worlds greatest trainer.
his card is literally made of cardboard

poor kid

still, twink OBLITERATED

rival's now named twink

gotem

elm tells me to take the gym challenge

that was my plan the whole time you FOOL
BUFFOON of a man

no, mom, DONT save my money
i will save my OWN money

then ethan showed me how to catch pokemon
did you know?
for the speedrun of pokemon heartgold and soulsilver versions for the nintendo ds, it is optimal to play as the female character because the catching tutorial runs longer if lyra is the one teaching you how to do it, simply because she goes and catches a pokemon too fast to explain first before she shows you how to catch one properly
gaming

btw by now shark iii is lvl 10 and has water gun and mud slap

i say shark iii like its some ffxiv spell

shark mage when

oh i caught a geodude on route 46
her name is big stone, naive nature, lvl 3
shite
naive sucks here

oh well

onto violet city

fought joey, didnt get his number
he said "i wont lose to you again!" which is true because we can't battle again like this.

huh geodude gets rock polish EARLY

smooth rock

caught another geodude in dark cave

mild nature

LARGE ROCK, THE TRUE SUCCESSOR TO BIG ROCK, HAS ARRIVED

PRAISE BE

that said naive is a better geodude nature than mild
so large rock is big boxed

ok so big stone got rock throw thank fuck

and then i went to violet city and said some words to primo, to get him to give me a wooper egg
nice

anyways, sprout tower time
this place is kinda scary with these sprouts
damn
new players be scary

haha ffxiv jokes

i go to the top, that edgy twink is there spouting bs, he leaves, i go to fight the elder
shark iii effortlessly soloes

nice

time for the gym

plan for falkner: unga bunga throw rocks

we sure did

thanks for the badge and roost bitch (affirmative)

elm called, he wanted me to fry an egg
so i got the egg at the pokemart

and put it in the box because its an illegal encounter

ok time to head towards azalea

big stone got magnitude
fun

poliwag and their fuckin hypnosis omg

no deaths, but it was frustrating to fight that

also shark iii evolved! nice, cool, good

got a sandshrew in unity cave, named Football
after the european sport, not the american one
impish is a GREAT nature here

i cant believe im poison stalling these rock types with poison sting def curl
wow
toxic

wish rapid spin was good in this gen
gen 8 gave us technology and i miss it

ok im free of cave

onto azalea and slowpoke well

kurt went to save the slowpoke, what a good man
but then he fell down the well
too bad i dont have a dog pokemon to go yell to the village about it

the rocket theme bangs in this game, it goes, it fucks
best villain battle theme

anyways proton jon wanted to fight
so i said yeah and he has a zubat
nerd
once the zubat was zuban't
he sent out koffing
and that decided to poison everything not named shark iii...for some reason
so i beat it up with shark iii

anyways thats proton jon done\

THE SLOWPOKES ARE SAVED
AND KURT'S GONNA MAKE ME SOME MOON BALLS

anyways

i love seeing all the slowpokes around town...they're so cute! they go "yaan?" everywhere! i love them
i love slowpoke

also the twink showed up to azalea
i beat him
his quilava used no attacking moves? weird
anyways zubat took 20 turns to kill due to flinchfusion but we got it

twink OBLITERATED

gym time

soloing with big stone cuz lol

plan for bugsy: obliterate another twink

he got one leer off. sad, really.

thanks for the badge and the uturn

nerd

Spoiler: team stats and progress

Shark III the Marshtomp, lvl 17
Lax nature, Torrent
Mischievous.
51 HP, 35 Atk, 34 Def, 29 Sp. Atk, 26 Sp. Def, 24 Spe
Tackle/Mud Shot/Mud-Slap/Water Gun

Big Stone the Geodude, lvl 19
Naive nature, Sturdy
Likes to fight.
48 HP, 41 Atk, 46 Def, 16 Sp. Atk, 17 Sp. Def, 17 Spe
Tackle/Rock Throw/Magnitude/Rock Polish

Football the Sandshrew, lvl 17
Impish nature, Sand Veil
Loves to eat.
48 HP, 31 Atk, 38 Def, 11 Sp. Atk, 17 Sp. Def, 21 Spe
Cut/Defense Curl/Rock Tomb/Poison Sting

Regions Beaten: 1
Cumulative Badges: 10
Cumulative Deaths: 1
Rocky Top: Tennessee...

 

[Honey Badger]

it's called cherrygrove because... uh... the roofs are pink like cherry blossoms !!

big stone go unga bunga

now go obliterate some more nerds

 

[erk pls]

then the man gave me some sneakers
deadass sir how can you afford to just give out running shoes
those are like $100+ irl, they can't be that cheap in the pokemon world can they?
dude's fucking LOADED

HE ALSO JUST GIVES U A SIM CARD WHO IS THIS MAN
what is the lore behind the cherrygrove guide gent

he's probably just a retired trainer, have you SEEN how much prize money you can pile up over a playthrough

the rocket theme bangs in this game, it goes, it fucks
best villain battle theme

bw1 plasma would like a word

man too bad you don't have a counter for whitney it sure is going to be a shame watching you wipe to miltank if only there was some way to--oh you already won while i was typing this reply? what a shocker

 

[redninjapuffle]

gg ez no re

 

[Shark]

Spoiler: repliez

it's called cherrygrove because... uh... the roofs are pink like cherry blossoms !!

big stone go unga bunga

now go obliterate some more nerds

all you had to do is ask <3 the twink will be obliterated

he's probably just a retired trainer, have you SEEN how much prize money you can pile up over a playthrough



bw1 plasma would like a word

man too bad you don't have a counter for whitney it sure is going to be a shame watching you wipe to miltank if only there was some way to--oh you already won while i was typing this reply? what a shocker

i definitely wasnt there yet when you wrote the reply
but i like the spirit
also im pretty sure im right about the music thing

gg ez no re

wish i could say the same about THIS update grumble grumble

this update: i learn to miss seeing green health bars

Spoiler: Update 6: Cheating at Voltorb Flip

don't lie, we all do it
;)

time for ilex

the egg hatched! it's a wooper! boxed for the foreseeable future

takin a break from big notes

everyone learned headbutt

football showed a kimono girl how to football

then i went and met ethan's grandparents. they're chill they raise pokemon and smoke pot and skate
theyre basically both tony hawk

but i couldnt have recognized them as tony hawk here

anyways

went to goldenrod, immediately got a bike from the unfortunately placed store, then went and savesta--i mean lucked into 10,000 coins and got ™ ice beam for shark iii

then i got a radio card and went to kick whitneys ass

i got lost in her gym whoops

plan for the gym: i have a rock

clefairy was no threat to big stone so i led with shark iii and switched to big stone so they both could hit 20 off of it.
then big stone did big stone things after rock polish
then miltank came out

and it actually just did NOT want to die, until i nuked it with a crit magnitude 8
but there was a solid while where i was trying to headbutt flinch it to death before it could milk drink and nearly ran out of pp doing so
and i had to use several super potions

eurgh what an annoying fight

and now shes crying
bitch i do that every night when i go to bed u aint special

year of the ox more like year of the rocks

haha gotem

im 7 hours into this file i dont think im getting wr for the speedrun of heartgold

:(


anyways i caught bunny girl the nidoran on the route 35
and bunny boy on rt 36
girl is bashful, boy is bold

ok
then i went to pokeathlon, bought moon stones and rare candies, and evolved both of them twice. theyre both lvl 16 nice nice
then i went back and learned bunny boy ice beam and thundy bolt and learned bunny girl flamethrower

nice nice nice nice nice

anyways i then took out my waterbottle and made the odd tree drink it.

it got mad so i had bunny girl kick it to death with double kick

theeeeeeeen

i went to ecruteak
and saved a kimono lady from a rocket philistine

then i went into the safety hazard that is burned tower and FOOTBALL EVOLVED!
and learned crush claw whoa
and rock smash ew

and the twink was here too! time to
OBLITERATE!
THAT!
TWINK!

everything on his team perished the end

cool fuck off loser

anyways i went into the much safer basement and found some hamsters. weird.
they ran away. fuckin huge hamsters still scared as fuck

anyways this is my grinding spot

so i ground

shark iii learned mud bomb wow

bunny girl learned body slam

but bunny boy didn't learn thrash

big stone evolved! and learned rock blast

gym time
why does this lady have 5 gastly
misdreavus?????????? nowhere to be found
johto pls use ur own mons

why did falkner not have murkrow

explain

plan for morty: WE ARE TWO BUNNIES OUR MUSCLES ARE STRONG BUT OUR FRIENDSHIP IS STRONGER

bunny girl beat gastly and then had to switch to bunny boy for haunter because curse is rude
then gengar thought it was cool to 2hko my entire team that i tried to send out except bunny girl
so i healstalled it out of shadow balls
no, really. i had to. because it would have killed the rest of the team otherwise
>:(
i was healstalling the haunter a lil bit too but then crit surf killed the haunter

but for real FUCK that fight

god

nearly killed all my fam
literally everyone EXCEPT big stone was below 50%, but i DEADASS CALCED IT, big stone wouldvve been ohkod
100% for real fuck that
thank GOD i had a nidoqueen

fuck you ghost man

drink piss

close calls make me mad update over >:(

Spoiler: team stats and progress

Shark III the Marshtomp, lvl 26
Lax nature, Torrent
Mischievous.
74 HP, 52 Atk, 49 Def, 44 Sp. Atk, 37 Sp. Def, 36 Spe
Headbutt/Mud Bomb/Ice Beam/Surf

Big Stone the Graveler, lvl 26
Naive nature, Sturdy
Likes to fight.
70 HP, 62 Atk, 70 Def, 28 Sp. Atk, 29 Sp. Def, 30 Spe
Headbutt/Magnitude/Rock Blast/Rock Polish

Football the Sandslash, lvl 25
Impish nature, Sand Veil
Loves to eat.
79 HP, 56 Atk, 68 Def, 27 Sp. Atk, 35 Sp. Def, 43 Spe
Cut/Crush Claw/Rock Tomb/Rock Smash

Bunny Girl the Nidoqueen, lvl 25
Bashful nature, Rivalry
Likes to relax.
89 HP, 52 Atk, 56 Def, 49 Sp. Atk, 54 Sp. Def, 47 Spe
Surf/Body Slam/Flamethrower/Double Kick

Bunny Boy the Nidoking, lvl 25
Bold nature, Poison Point
Somewhat vain.
79 HP, 46 Atk, 49 Def, 51 Sp. Atk, 47 Sp. Def, 51 Spe
Poison Sting/Thunderbolt/Ice Beam/Double Kick

Regions Beaten: 1
Cumulative Badges: 12
Cumulative Deaths: 1
Rocky Top: Tennessee...
Bunnies: 2