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Screenshot Fan Game Mature Commentary The Terribly-Titled Nuzlocke of Pokemon Rejuvenation: Part 3: Chapter 99 - Oceans Rise, Empires Fall (12/05/21)

Thread Description
A heroic saga of love, loss, anger and a great number of idiot induced headaches. Welcome to the wild ride that is Pokemon Rejuvenation!

thetruelizardking

My many subjects are watching
Pokédex No.
4246
Caught
Apr 15, 2021
Messages
13
Location
Florida
Nature
Sassy
Pokémon Type
Grass, Dragon
Pokédex Entry
Often seen with a crown and surrounded by its many subjects, it will screech autistically when threatened.
Also on a slightly more terrifying note, I think I know where a lot of you live now.
for my 3rd reply i will now confirm florida. FEAR US. YOUR POWERS ARE NO MATCH FOR THE HILBILLIES
 
Pokédex No.
927
Caught
Oct 22, 2019
Messages
117
Location
In the library with many good books
Nature
Timid
Pronouns
They/Them
Pokémon Type
Bug, Psychic
Pokédex Entry
A very small trash boy last seen clawing themself out of the gender dumpster.
I am NOT listening to the DOGARS while driving. It's better for everyone that way.
Hell, I was once pulled over mid-singing the chorus of The Internet is for Porn at full volume for a breathalyser test and I still wouldn't let the DOGARS taint my ears. (Yes, that is a true story. I had to do it three times because they couldn't believe I was sober. In my defence it was 2am on New Year's Eve and I was sick of all the people singing Auld Lang Syne badly.)

Ah yes. Sadly, I'm a normie and have only ever played Persona 3 - 5 of the SMT series.
Didn't like 5 aside from the location and aesthetics though. I think I was too old to relate to the teenage protagonists.
The Persona series has been doing a Weird the last few games. P3 had a great story but frustrating as fuck battle system and dungeons, P4 had decent but not great story and dungeons, and P5 had a story that was extremely unsteady but some of the best aesthetics I've ever encountered in a video game. Something weird be going on at ATLUS.

Know what makes me uncomfortable?

That you have four front windows with a 10cm gap between them.

Who the fuck was your architect and can I have his address so I can kill him?
Augh it's like one of those episodes of Grand Designs where the host is valiantly trying not to tell the builders that their dream home looks like a shitty cardboard box...

Are you out here growing weed?

It seems like the kind of job Venam's dad would have...
Please, nobody in THAT disaster family has a job as prestigious as growing weed.

Sariah...Sariah...
THAT FUCKIN' BITCH LET ME- wait what? Did. Did you just get apologised to? You in specific? And given an explanation? Are we sure Spoink aren't flying?

Shove ME in a volcano, will he?

I'll shove a fucking volcano into him!
Oh damn, that makes the old Edward the Vth treatment look positively genteel! (Red hot poker up the jaxie.)

HEY SIRIUS! CYRUS'S LAWYER CALLED, SOMETHING ABOUT INFRINGING ON HIS INTELLECTUAL PROPERTY!

She's a shiftless wretch that (among other team-killing things) stole someone's Pokemon after calling herself their friend.
And she's still somehow one of the more tolerable shitheads in this region...

GASP. I'm young again all of a sudden!

Thanks Pokemon Rejuvenation!
*seriously had to fight with themselves for almost five minutes about whether or not to talk about the Rejuvenation to Regeneration switch in Classic Doctor Who*
 

QuietGuardian

Johto League Champion
🌱Featurer
Screenshotter
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
33
Caught
Jun 10, 2019
Messages
1,371
Nature
Careful
Pronouns
he/him
Pokémon Type
Dark, Ground
No that's crazy. Everyone in the world reads about this obscure form of a Nuzlocke about an obscure fan-game on this obscure website.

Obviously.
I now realise I'm going to have to kill every single person reading this run to prevent them from trying to start a new universe in their rooms.
This does not bode well.

Also, I cracked up at the image of you running at Type: Null.
 

Sovereign One

The Supreme ruler that never does anything
Pokédex No.
4284
Caught
Apr 19, 2021
Messages
5
Location
In bed
Nature
Sassy
Pronouns
He
Pokémon Type
Dragon, Fighting
Pokédex Entry
Doesn't understand sarcasm yet is quite good dishing it out, he always laughs at inappropriate times,
Ah yes I know you. The one person to listen to Bernag and like the first post.
Still to prevent what would no doubt be an epic action thriller where the people who read this Nuzlocke are being hunted down one by one by a vicious serial killer, I'm going to remove the link from the last chapter.

Just in case.

...

Not gonna lie though.

It'd probably be No-Name.

He'd carve "SNAKEWOOD WHEN" onto your torsos and I'd have to track him down to stop anymore killings.

...

Or I could just update the Snakewood Nuzlocke.



But no.

I will not.
You know, No-name might just like this run if you update the Snakewood Nuzlocke (or not, I don't know him).
Good. He is a smart one i see
Greetings fellow intellectual.
 

pikafan96

That Little Yellow Rat
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
2619
Caught
Sep 27, 2020
Messages
60
Location
The middle of nowhere
Nature
Quiet
Pronouns
She/Her
Pokémon Type
Electric, Dragon
Pokédex Entry
A reclusive creature. Can rarely be seen scavenging for food late at night.
Hey, you did not need to remind me of Sordward and Shielbert! Of all the painful things I had to experience in Galar those two were the worst!
Why must you wound me like this!?



WHAT!?



YOU'RE...YOU'RE THE BIOLOGICALFATHER OF A MAIN CHARACTER IN A POKEMON GAME!?

...



Amazing...I never thought I'd see the like...

He's even got the dad facial hair that fathers are rumoured to have!
Careful now! He's a rare breed.
I wasn't even sure fathers actually existed in the first place...




There are literally two islands with major population centres on them to the west of here when three years ago that was just open water.

The fuck is up with that?
Don't you know? Whenever a new landmass is discovered every single map in the world automatically updates!
I cannot believe that you didn't know this...




The old Radio Tower incident?

Yeah I'm familiar.

Buncha dipshits tried to use Giratina to create a Utopia despite it NEVER demonstrating having that ability whatsoever.

Narcissa married one of them, I think.
I mean, if you consider your utopia a desolate wasteland with really screwed up laws of physics and an endless void of dispair - then sure; Giratina can create a utopia!




No...good luck to you, man.

I can't see you surviving very long as both an idiot character's parent and a complete idiot.

Jan could use your death to form character growth in Veronica.
Yeah, honestly if you have children in this world there's like a 90% chance you're gonna die in order to fuel someone's character development.
No form of birth control works better than knowing if you decide to spawn an offspring that your lifespan is probably gonna be cut in half!


And no I'm not getting the Shinx because I never cared for Luxray.
*gasp*
How dare you.





THE MOST POWERFUL (Defensive) POKEMON IN THE UNIVERSE!

WHAT AN HONOUR!
Nice catch, and I really do mean that!
These little bastards work great as walls (or you can use them to stall, like I do) - just give it Toxic and you're basically all good to go!




And what does this symbol mean?

It reminds me of those Medals from Medabots that contain the Metabot soul...

But obviously it's not that. Was just the first thing that popped into my head.
Maybe it's for Regirock eventually? That's my guess at least.
Nothing screams "I have a Regi' in me" like a big door with circles on it!


SO she's probably more concerned about being in a dark, grim future where she doesn't know anyone and has to come to terms with Z-moves being a thing.

Poor girl.
Z-moves existing are enough to bring down anyone's mood; I guess they're not dynamax at least...
God I'm tired of stupid gimmicks.


You see THIS is what happens when you let your town have a one-type gimmick.

People die horribly.

IT ALSO DOESN'T HELP THAT IT'S ALWAYS A FUCKING GHOST TOWN TOO!

MIX IT UP A LITTLE! WHERE'S THE HORRIBLE TRAGEDY IN THE WATER TYPE TOWN, HUH!?
A water-type town is just waiting for tragedy to strike!
I mean come on; maybe it could be hit by some sort of flood, or maybe a ship could crash into it!
The possibilities are endless...


So. That was Sariah.

But more importantly it was a character apologising for being a cunt.

To me!



ME!

AND NOT THE GROUP IN GENERAL!
This is a rare event - cherish it while you can.
Because eventually Melia will return and things will go back to normal.


I now realise I'm going to have to kill every single person reading this run to prevent them from trying to start a new universe in their rooms.

*Sigh*



And I really liked most of you too.
Hey - come on; it's me! Your ol' pal Pika!
You can trust me! No need to stab me in my sleep!




This water is fucking ankle deep.



Why the fuck couldn't Matthew just walk across it?



Like look!

It's not even up to the first shelf of those bookcases!

Ugh.
Listen, I'll take riding on a living creature over getting the bottoms of pants wet every single time.
And I'm pretty sure any sane person would agree with me.


Except those singing trout, you mean.

Those are great.
My grandpa had one of those when I was a kid - I remember really loving it! Then the batteries started to die and it slowly morphed into a demon outta hell 🙁
It was still a pretty fun fish though; I definitely don't regret giving it my soul 🙂


This made an actual chuckle come out of my mouth.
I don't know whether to be ashamed or not...




You were banned from Gearan?

Why? Did Veronica blame you for that fire as well?
Don't you know?
Whenever you become a father in the Pokemon world you're forced into exile; that's why dads are such a rare breed...




Also on a slightly more terrifying note, I think I know where a lot of you live now.
Oh.
... Well if you wanna come hang out with me in the middle of a desert you're more than welcome to I guess.




Huh.

The fuck is that thing?

"Type-Null"?

I'm guessing it's one of those Sun and Moon Pokemon I never saw?

Like that fucking anchor?
Oh, Type Null - I love these guys! I'm a sucker for chimeras, and this little dude is seriously tough.
I especially like to use Silvally (it's evolution) in Reborn. It's shiny in Reborn is probably one of the more unique ones in the game! I'm not sure if it's the same in Rejuvenation though...
Either way, hopefully he'll get a chance to shine in your run!





OH YEAAAHHHH! I'M DOING JUST FINE!

MY MASTER PLAN OF PUNCHING IT DIRECTLY ON THE HELMET TO CONFUSE IT WITH MY STUPIDITY IS GOING GREAT!

...

JUST USE FUCKING SLEEP POWDER ALREADY!
I guess all that training you got back in the Pathetic Dimension is really paying off.
Before you know it you'll actually be able to handle all your battles yourself!


Although looking at the base stats...these things are actually pretty strong...

95 in everything but Speed? And then 95 in everything when it evolves?

That's very close to being as strong as a Mew.
Oh yeah, Type Null and it's evolution Silvally are actually considered legendaries I believe...
I think they were going for a new-age Mewtwo or something like that.

Also, since you've been kind enough to bless my run with so many delicious memes - I thought I'd return the favor.

Ha! You were expecting a meme but it was actually art!
I'm not very good at making memes (my internet humor isn't quite up to snuff), so here's Rose wearing a flower crown made of roses instead!
(Please ignore my shoddy attempt at drawing roses; it's much harder to do than it looks...)
 

Decibel575

Hidden but not so Hidden Lurker
Pokédex No.
487
Caught
Jul 12, 2019
Messages
75
Nature
Timid
Pokémon Type
Fairy, ???
Pokédex Entry
Legends say that you may find this elusive creature hiding in the screenshot section, roaming the Terribly Titled threads
Reminder to everyone that Jan intends on adding Gigantamax and Dynamax in v13

Nice.
 

Bernag

Cybernetic lurker at your service
Pokédex No.
2806
Caught
Nov 1, 2020
Messages
18
Nature
Bashful
Pokémon Type
Water, Fighting
Reminder to everyone that Jan intends on adding Gigantamax and Dynamax in v13

Nice.
Yeah as megas from what i heard
And only gigantamaxes
Not dynamax

What i heard is jan on v13 plans adding the gigantamax forms as new mega evolutions. I think ?
 

spikesgirl1

Lugia Worshiper
Pokédex No.
446
Caught
Jul 9, 2019
Messages
63
Pokémon Type
Fire, Ghost
Wow... I was waiting to see if Venam's dad was gonna be decent, but nope! (Only slightly less bad thanks to the journal, but still.)

You know, Sean, that font just makes me think you're a cryptid. Pretty sure you wouldn't mind that, though.

Funny enough, as much as I like Gen 2 Pokemon, never put much thought into Shuckle other than "It's cute-ish."

Oh my god, Medabots. I actually remember watching some of the show. Can't remember if it was any good.

I forgot about Sariah, but she's now on my good list for being apologetic.

...I just realized the guy is named Sirius and runs a radio tower. Sirius is also the name of a radio station in the States. That's...dumb.

Well, look, you put it Melia Jr. on the poll, so it had to happen! But yeah, that tracking thing is creepy, so thanks for trying to save us from creeps.

Huh, Type:Null. Yeah, doesn't have a happy life even in Sun and Moon too. And it's less a Aqua/Magma thing with Aether/Skull and more "Aether (but mainly Lusamine) are the TRUE big bad!"

Hey now, you implied Rose was fat last chapter. I think she's a little entitled to call you out. :P

That was such a huge info-dump, but it actually was interesting. That's more than I can say for a lot of this story.
 

Derogatory Trainer

The hero you don't need but you're getting anyway.
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
315
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
298
Nature
Adamant
Pokémon Type
???
Pokédex Entry
The most humble and modest braggart you will ever meet.
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #910


Hello, you bodacious boys and boyettes!




Today Papa Sean is going to delve deep into the earth and find out more about the no doubt terrible fanfiction-y past of the Aevium region!

Won't that be a treat?

Just like chocolate!



And just like chocolate, it's fatal in large doses so I hope you all have your stomach pumps handy!



If not, you can order them online from the online Derogatory store.

Just stop reading right here and then come back in 12-15 days when your package is delivered.

I'll wait.

...

...



...

...

...



Why am I even looking at my nails like they're dirty?

How the fuck could they possibly be dirty in this constant hand-washing era we live in now?



And that's the end of that bit. (No refunds btw)

Now roll the titlecard.



Wait!

First I want to say that when I played through this I did all the tombs out of order so I swapped things around to sort them numerically.



Hang on a second, Bluster.

So don't any of you at home question how I teleported from the ruins here, to the ones near the old Radio tower and then to the ones underneath the Giratina statue entrance, okay?



Okay! NOW roll the Title-Card!



If it means anything, I also voted for the name Angri. a nice counter towards the lesser Hapi. I didn't think an entire chapter would go to the Type: Null sidequest, it must have been longer than I had first thought. I realised earlier today that I hadn't played Where Love Lies yet, so in anticipation for V13.. I will play that instead.

I accidentally deleted my entire Rejuvenation saved file too. didn't feel like restarting until V13 came out, so I could see all the changes,
One of the few men of taste in this entire reply section.
It was padded out with Matthew's journal dialogue but it was relatively important information so I kept it in. Unlike his ramblings about finding River's End.
That game was a weird experience for me. Because I didn't have to worry about fainting when I'm usually hyper-focused on that every battle.

Hey, it happens.
Not to me though.
I have multiple back-ups on like Google Drive, my phone and a USB stick. I'd never live with myself if Rose got deleted due to some bullshit like that.

Reminder to everyone that Jan intends on adding Gigantamax and Dynamax in v13

Nice.
Nnnnnot sure I like the sound of that.
Gigantamax as a form of Mega Evolution for Pokemon that don't get any is fine. I might ACTUALLY be able to use Itemfinder for battle.
But I don't want to deal with the 3 turn time waste of Dynamax. It adds nothing to the game.
long reply so the quote is cut short here!
you posted at 6 am for me... and i for some reason read it from my phone at 7 am... GRAHHH
also kinda mad that it took me this long to respond since i noticed Decibel575 posted before me GRRRR guess that's what i get to be more awake at 9 am to answer this.

Don't feel too bad. They used to call him the "Fastest Commenter in the West".
...
I assume.



anyway onto the quotes

But in the unlikely event that the audience surprised me I would have just Photoshopped every image she'd be in to Melia Jr. So right now, the votes didn't matter but I would have changed it at Part 5.
AH KNEW IT. Well it is what it is guess your knowledge about the community was right.

That most of you are sadistic bastards?
Yeah.
I KNEW THAT MUCH.


Huh. That's Resihram's sig move, right? Is that actually useful on this non-STAB physical attacker though?
yes its one of Reshiram's sig moves. Not usefull just funny to think they give this pokemon a legendary move
The one you should care about its Abomination's signature move which is actually physical. Trying to not reveal what it does but ifAbomination eventually dies... i will post the effects. Unless you want me next week to post the effect Sean

Huh. Well it'd certainly surprise people at least!
Nah it's cool. We'll wait and see. I don't use him long enough to get him to the level required to use it in THIS Part though so it's up to you.


Amazing...I never thought I'd see the like...

He's even got the dad facial hair that fathers are rumoured to have!
This is a once in a lifetime deal... somebody grab a camera!!

I...I mean I technically DID take a photo of it, you know?

Okay Matthew? You're never going to believe which item I don't have.
this actually got me to laugh very hard. Like better than the normal ammount that your jokes make me. Man this scene is gold.

I was so mad.
I had ALL the bullshit except the most very common one.
And THEN it was a whole ordeal trying to even buy one!
Such a waste of ten minutes.


Like jesus this is kind of scary. I didn't know the survey would record where your locations are.
*sweat noise* oh no....

You'll be fiiiine. I got rid of the link so now the only person who knows where you all live is me.
AND YOU TRUST ME, RIGHT!?


It's like a dog with a fish tail, scales, claws and a big helmet? Did Sivally have those?

And were Game Freak going for a Chimera look?
...wait until you see this thing sidequest on Reborn... your gonna regret those words....

Oh yeah. Spoilers or whatever but I just beat them up and called the police .
I'm a mean guy but I'm not going to butcher several Pokemon for a Type: Null.


...

And I am bad at showing heartfelt emotions when people are watching, so after this chapter ends I will say that back off-screen.
Rose be sure to confirm to us next post if he actually did it. Because you Deserve it.

Rose isn't allowed on the computer because her talons poked holes in the last keyboard.

And that is that. Was trying to be first but Decibel beat me to it. Guess gotta try faster next time.

Have a Comment-Off at High Noon outside the nearest saloon.

Reminder to everyone that Jan intends on adding Gigantamax and Dynamax in v13

Nice.
Yeah as megas from what i heard
And only gigantamaxes
Not dynamax

What i heard is jan on v13 plans adding the gigantamax forms as new mega evolutions. I think ?

Oh thank god, the man known as Jan has SOME taste.
Gigantamax is alright but every Tom, Dick and Harry dynamaxing whatever they want? Fuck that.
Sadly it looks like only Itemfinder will ever get the chance to do so. Maybe Traya too. I don't see why I would G-Max over Mega-Evolve though.
I think it has something to do with the Keta Sideshow game.

How long have Team Xen been around if this long-neglected place is actually is a former base?

How deep do their roots go into this region?
V11 content says that Team Xen has been around for roughly 50 years


GDC is gonna be a blast to get to.


What exactly IS the player?
What exactly are the properties of the Interceptor ?



So anyway, do you remember that the "past" in this game takes place in 2001?
Really? I don't remember the symbol coming up at all myself.

I know how long they've been around but I want to know how deeply entrenched they are in this region's infrastructure.
Do they own the invisible banks we never see? Have they infiltrated the Pokemon Centers? Are those weird healing rods part of a scheme to do away with Pokemon Centers in general?
HOW FAR DOES THIS RABBIT-HOLE GO!?

I assume it's like football.
Fate tries and passes the destiny ball down the field (timeline) and I dive in and take the ball from her and then bicycle kick it into the top corner.

Depending on how long this run takes me, that might come true.
Oh I'm the main character but lord do I get the shit beaten out of me pretty regularly.
but in return do you not later return the favor tenfold? im not going to lie whenever you edit in yourself or your pokemon "defeating" a grunt it sparks joy. ive played this game as far as possible and boy.......no spoilers but i hope you are prepared for the sauciest of times. you think you have seen bullshit man? whats coming up for you later on is the freshest most potent dookie you have ever seen(or sean). regardless keep up the good work! whenever that update email appears its always a great day! cannot wait for the next chapter!
Yeah but that's usually only to NPC characters that are unimportant to the plot.
Are you talking about what happens on top of Eclypisa Pyramid? Because I am not letting that shit fly. My only options to get the "good" ending there were to lose and let all my Pokemon be killed? And then that fucking fox that nobody cares about comes in and makes it about her? After Flora and that fucking Opposite Day Torterra?
I don't think anyone will blame me for snapping like I did...or will. I haven't written it yet but expect anger and violence.
Oh wow. Didn't know people got emails when I update. Nice.


not gonna say i called it......buuuuuuuut irony?
Eventually, most of the things I say in this run will be painfully ironic by the end.

for my 3rd reply i will now confirm florida. FEAR US. YOUR POWERS ARE NO MATCH FOR THE HILBILLIES
Hey now. Keep your damn replies in the one box, will ya?
Orlando or Deltona? Because there was two hits there.
You guys can be buddies!

Also why the fuck is there a place called "Kissimmee" in your state?
I am NOT listening to the DOGARS while driving. It's better for everyone that way.
Hell, I was once pulled over mid-singing the chorus of The Internet is for Porn at full volume for a breathalyser test and I still wouldn't let the DOGARS taint my ears. (Yes, that is a true story. I had to do it three times because they couldn't believe I was sober. In my defence it was 2am on New Year's Eve and I was sick of all the people singing Auld Lang Syne badly.)

How did they even hear you? Were you singing with the window open?
And I suppose it's better than being caught for speeding because you were listening to Initial D.
Auld Lang Syne huh? My least favourite holiday song is Fairytale in New York myself. Hate that slurred shit.


Ah yes. Sadly, I'm a normie and have only ever played Persona 3 - 5 of the SMT series.
Didn't like 5 aside from the location and aesthetics though. I think I was too old to relate to the teenage protagonists.
The Persona series has been doing a Weird the last few games. P3 had a great story but frustrating as fuck battle system and dungeons, P4 had decent but not great story and dungeons, and P5 had a story that was extremely unsteady but some of the best aesthetics I've ever encountered in a video game. Something weird be going on at ATLUS.

Rotational shifts?
Good story guys come on for one game then leave, good character guys come one for one game then leave, and good design guys come on for one game then leave.
All leading up to Persona 6: Green Version.


Know what makes me uncomfortable?
That you have four front windows with a 10cm gap between them.
Who the fuck was your architect and can I have his address so I can kill him?
Augh it's like one of those episodes of Grand Designs where the host is valiantly trying not to tell the builders that their dream home looks like a shitty cardboard box...

Oh man I hate that show.
All those houses look so indefensible for lack of a better word.
Like how am I supposed to protect my family from marauders with massive bay windows, Kevin?


Are you out here growing weed?
It seems like the kind of job Venam's dad would have...
Please, nobody in THAT disaster family has a job as prestigious as growing weed.

Veronica IS technically a gym leader, you know.
But I suppose you couldn't really call that prestigious...


She's a shiftless wretch that (among other team-killing things) stole someone's Pokemon after calling herself their friend.
And she's still somehow one of the more tolerable shitheads in this region...

She's the most aggravating member of the unofficial "Team Good Guy" character-wise anyway.
While Melia is more aggravating plot-wise.


GASP. I'm young again all of a sudden!

Thanks Pokemon Rejuvenation!
*seriously had to fight with themselves for almost five minutes about whether or not to talk about the Rejuvenation to Regeneration switch in Classic Doctor Who*

No you see Pokemon Regeneration is the NEXT big fan-game starting with the letter "R".
Shit, someone should do that. Complete the trinity and whatnot.

I now realise I'm going to have to kill every single person reading this run to prevent them from trying to start a new universe in their rooms.
This does not bode well.

Also, I cracked up at the image of you running at Type: Null.
The worst part is I wrote this WAY before I made the survery that gave me all your rough locations.
So...yeah. Doesn't bode well at all.

Haha thanks. It was an edited picture of Naruto running after something.
Probably Sasuke.
You know, No-name might just like this run if you update the Snakewood Nuzlocke (or not, I don't know him).
He is an evil creature trying to tempt me into restarting that trashfire of a game. I cannot appease him.

Greetings fellow intellectual.


Good vibes all around.
Hey, you did not need to remind me of Sordward and Shielbert! Of all the painful things I had to experience in Galar those two were the worst!
Why must you wound me like this!?

How can humanity advance if we forget the mistakes we make, Pikafan?
Dramatic anime speech aside, I just want everyone to seethe as much as I do.


Amazing...I never thought I'd see the like...

He's even got the dad facial hair that fathers are rumoured to have!
Careful now! He's a rare breed.
I wasn't even sure fathers actually existed in the first place...

I don't think the player character has one at the very least.
Everyone else HAD one but they were killed tragically for being fathers/men in Pokemon Rejuvenation.


There are literally two islands with major population centres on them to the west of here when three years ago that was just open water.
The fuck is up with that?
Don't you know? Whenever a new landmass is discovered every single map in the world automatically updates!
I cannot believe that you didn't know this...

I'm pretty sure that's the video game logic talking.

The old Radio Tower incident?

Yeah I'm familiar.

Buncha dipshits tried to use Giratina to create a Utopia despite it NEVER demonstrating having that ability whatsoever.

Narcissa married one of them, I think.
I mean, if you consider your utopia a desolate wasteland with really screwed up laws of physics and an endless void of dispair - then sure; Giratina can create a utopia!

Do we even know if that was even the case though?
Our best source of information was Cyrus and Cynthia.
Not exactly reputable sources.


No...good luck to you, man.
I can't see you surviving very long as both an idiot character's parent and a complete idiot.
Jan could use your death to form character growth in Veronica.
Yeah, honestly if you have children in this world there's like a 90% chance you're gonna die in order to fuel someone's character development.
No form of birth control works better than knowing if you decide to spawn an offspring that your lifespan is probably gonna be cut in half!

Well by that logic I should be fine to have loads of kids with as many women as possible!
I can't die which would therefore prevent them from having tragic backstories!
Another win for Sean!


And no I'm not getting the Shinx because I never cared for Luxray.
*gasp*
How dare you.

I'm sorry but it had to be said.
Luxray is not that good.
It would be very easy to MAKE it good if it had Rock Head or Magic Guard instead of Guts so it wouldn't be affected by its signature move's recoil damage.
But it doesn't.
And that's a pity.


THE MOST POWERFUL (Defensive) POKEMON IN THE UNIVERSE!

WHAT AN HONOUR!
Nice catch, and I really do mean that!
These little bastards work great as walls (or you can use them to stall, like I do) - just give it Toxic and you're basically all good to go!

...
Well that's...uh...a better way to use him than what I come up with later on. My way was needlessly complicated.
But in my defense I don't have Toxic because Jan is too stingy.
...
And in his defense, I'd probably keep it from players too if people just Toxic stalled all the boss encounters I came up with.


And what does this symbol mean?

It reminds me of those Medals from Medabots that contain the Metabot soul...

But obviously it's not that. Was just the first thing that popped into my head.
Maybe it's for Regirock eventually? That's my guess at least.
Nothing screams "I have a Regi' in me" like a big door with circles on it!

That's a good point.
Plus the whole Sheridan area seems to have SOMETHING to do with the Regis.
Especially Amethyst Cave where I fought two shiny ones.


SO she's probably more concerned about being in a dark, grim future where she doesn't know anyone and has to come to terms with Z-moves being a thing.

Poor girl.
Z-moves existing are enough to bring down anyone's mood; I guess they're not dynamax at least...
God I'm tired of stupid gimmicks.

Most of that chapter was actually written before Dynamax was announced.
So that Past-Sean was at least lucky he never lived to see it.


You see THIS is what happens when you let your town have a one-type gimmick.

People die horribly.

IT ALSO DOESN'T HELP THAT IT'S ALWAYS A FUCKING GHOST TOWN TOO!

MIX IT UP A LITTLE! WHERE'S THE HORRIBLE TRAGEDY IN THE WATER TYPE TOWN, HUH!?
A water-type town is just waiting for tragedy to strike!
I mean come on; maybe it could be hit by some sort of flood, or maybe a ship could crash into it!
The possibilities are endless...

That's the problem though.
Water types are extremely useful in pretty much every natural disaster bar a hurricane.
Tsunami? "It's okay, we've all got water Pokemon to carry us to safety!"
Fire? "Everyone! Use Rain Dance!!"
Earthquake? "Use Hydro Pump on the ground, Blastoise! That'll teach it not to mess with Aqua City!"

Even a Fire Type themed town would be ironically immune to catching fire.
Because nobody would care.
"Oh, that burning building? Yeah that's normal. Don't worry about it."


I now realise I'm going to have to kill every single person reading this run to prevent them from trying to start a new universe in their rooms.
*Sigh*
Hey - come on; it's me! Your ol' pal Pika!
You can trust me! No need to stab me in my sleep!

Cut me some slack, Pika!
I'd challenge you to an honourable duel at the very least, not murder you like a catspaw!


Like look!

It's not even up to the first shelf of those bookcases!

Ugh.
Listen, I'll take riding on a living creature over getting the bottoms of pants wet every single time.
And I'm pretty sure any sane person would agree with me.

WHAT KIND OF TRAINER TALK IS THAT!?
YOU SOME KIND OF CITY SLICKER TRAINER THAT DOESN'T WEAR THOSE PANTS THAT HAVE ZIPS ON THE CALVES SO YOU CAN REMOVE THE WET PARTS?
Actually now that I think about it...Did you ever go onto that one long rainy and muddy route in Sinnoh during your run?
If not...well at least you practice what you preach.



Except those singing trout, you mean.

Those are great.
My grandpa had one of those when I was a kid - I remember really loving it! Then the batteries started to die and it slowly morphed into a demon outta hell 🙁
It was still a pretty fun fish though; I definitely don't regret giving it my soul 🙂

Hang on...
Did old people just get together one day and decide to bulk buy those fucking thing?
Seems like everyone their age group has one stashed somewhere in their house!



This made an actual chuckle come out of my mouth.
I don't know whether to be ashamed or not...

Hey now. It's a good reference to multiple things!
No need to be ashamed about that!


You were banned from Gearan?

Why? Did Veronica blame you for that fire as well?
Don't you know?
Whenever you become a father in the Pokemon world you're forced into exile; that's why dads are such a rare breed...

So many of them leave to "wander the earth" too.
Like Ash Ketchum's Dad.
Hell he's STILL doing it after so many years now.
But in-universe it might be fine since Ash is STILL ten. So maybe he's only been gone for a year max?


Also on a slightly more terrifying note, I think I know where a lot of you live now.
Oh.
... Well if you wanna come hang out with me in the middle of a desert you're more than welcome to I guess.

Haha don't worry. It's definitely not so accurate that I could find you in the desert.
Seems like most of you are living in train stations or on train tracks for some reason.
I hope that's not the case.
I hope you're all filthy rich and will donate to that non-existent Patreon.


Huh.
The fuck is that thing?
"Type-Null"?
I'm guessing it's one of those Sun and Moon Pokemon I never saw?
Like that fucking anchor?
Oh, Type Null - I love these guys! I'm a sucker for chimeras, and this little dude is seriously tough.
I especially like to use Silvally (it's evolution) in Reborn. It's shiny in Reborn is probably one of the more unique ones in the game! I'm not sure if it's the same in Rejuvenation though...
Either way, hopefully he'll get a chance to shine in your run!

Silvally looks pretty decent I'll admit. Will have to use it in the future.
Yeah...I chose not to get one in Reborn. I called the cops immediately when I met the person making the Type-Nulls.
It's the same in Rejuvenation with all the elemental trimmings but I'm blessed that I didn't get it.
IMAGINE the amount of Photoshop work I'd have to do to make 18 different versions for the reaction-shots?
No thank you!


OH YEAAAHHHH! I'M DOING JUST FINE!

MY MASTER PLAN OF PUNCHING IT DIRECTLY ON THE HELMET TO CONFUSE IT WITH MY STUPIDITY IS GOING GREAT!

...

JUST USE FUCKING SLEEP POWDER ALREADY!
I guess all that training you got back in the Pathetic Dimension is really paying off.
Before you know it you'll actually be able to handle all your battles yourself!

It probably also helped that I was 30-something levels higher.
That's right. Canonically I'm level 60. The training I did in the Hyper-Bolic Time Chamber Pathetic Dimension was a great boon indeed!
I don't really like my chances of fighting a Yveltal compared to a malnourished chimera though...and I couldn't even hit Giratina due to it's ghost typing...
At the very least, I can punt Melia's Togekiss across a field. That's something to look forward to.


Although looking at the base stats...these things are actually pretty strong...

95 in everything but Speed? And then 95 in everything when it evolves?

That's very close to being as strong as a Mew.
Oh yeah, Type Null and it's evolution Silvally are actually considered legendaries I believe...
I think they were going for a new-age Mewtwo or something like that.

Huh. I suppose that makes sense.
Don't know how the new-age Mewtwo is weaker than the original after twenty years but I suppose Hawaii isn't exactly known for it's science programs.

Also, since you've been kind enough to bless my run with so many delicious memes - I thought I'd return the favor.

Ha! You were expecting a meme but it was actually art!
I'm not very good at making memes (my internet humor isn't quite up to snuff), so here's Rose wearing a flower crown made of roses instead!
(Please ignore my shoddy attempt at drawing roses; it's much harder to do than it looks...)

I love it.
Now I can finally create what I've always wanted to for this run.


*sniff*
WHAT A BEAUTIFUL MOMENT!!!

And don't worry, I know full well what a bitch those are to draw

Wow... I was waiting to see if Venam's dad was gonna be decent, but nope! (Only slightly less bad thanks to the journal, but still.)

You know, Sean, that font just makes me think you're a cryptid. Pretty sure you wouldn't mind that, though.

Funny enough, as much as I like Gen 2 Pokemon, never put much thought into Shuckle other than "It's cute-ish."

Oh my god, Medabots. I actually remember watching some of the show. Can't remember if it was any good.

I forgot about Sariah, but she's now on my good list for being apologetic.

...I just realized the guy is named Sirius and runs a radio tower. Sirius is also the name of a radio station in the States. That's...dumb.

Well, look, you put it Melia Jr. on the poll, so it had to happen! But yeah, that tracking thing is creepy, so thanks for trying to save us from creeps.

Huh, Type:Null. Yeah, doesn't have a happy life even in Sun and Moon too. And it's less a Aqua/Magma thing with Aether/Skull and more "Aether (but mainly Lusamine) are the TRUE big bad!"

Hey now, you implied Rose was fat last chapter. I think she's a little entitled to call you out. :P

That was such a huge info-dump, but it actually was interesting. That's more than I can say for a lot of this story.
Making me do things for free seems to run in the Vasile bloodline...how cursed...

As long as I don't have nutjobs chasing after me during my regular walks though the forests of North America, then I'm okay with it.

It's a weird one to get as well. Like a guy on Cianwood makes you take it because Silver took his Sneasel...and then you can later give it back to him?
It's just a weird questline.

I used to have little figurines with interchangable parts myself. It was probably the reason I was so into robots from ages 6-10.
I distinctly remember asking my mother how long I'd have to wait until the 22nd century to get a Medabot. You can imagine my disappointment.

Ehhhhh...she still tried to hang a child for stealing...not sure just apologising is enough for her to have a Merry Christmas.

Spoiler: Sirius was a fake identity. Turns out Vitus is actually a huge player with the ladies...somehow...

Yeah...I kinda asked for it, huh? Don't worry about it anyway. I think it only tracked the nearest internet tower thing.
Either that or a LOT of you are living in train stations.

All man-made Pokemon seems to suffer in these games. Voltrobs explode all the time for some reason. (why though? Pokeballs don't explode.)
And even then she was...what was it again? Drugged up on neurotoxins from an alien jellyfish?
GOD POKEMON IS SO WEIRD NOW!

SHE WAS CUTE AND CHUBBY! NOT FAT!

Prepare yourself for yet another one! But this time it's ancient history!


Also, Rose is as adorable as always, despite being so big and badass!
I miss when Pokemon in general was sane. It kind of went mad after Gen 2.

My one lamentation about her is it's very hard to give expressions to a Haxorus.
THEY ONLY HAVE AN EYE! THEIR MOUTH IS ALMOST COMPLETELY HIDDEN!



They are just never going to get rid of that noose, are they?

What a lovely reminder that if I showed up five minutes later than I did, that Sariah girl would have hung a child.



What a warm wholesome feeling.



Okay...major redecoration to Wispy Path since I first came through here.

The Wispy Ruins have become a massive sprawling complex underneath Goldenleaf, I guess?

Hm.




Because what this game definitely needed was more secret underground labyrinths.

Definitely.



Hey, I wonder what happened to that Mime Jr. that used to live here?

Hmmm...



Probably got deleted from existence.

I never really got why it was there gameplay-wise anyway, when there was a Mime Jr. trapped in a Shadowification Tube in Mt. Caratos...

Did Jan expect us to leave it there? What a low opinion he has of us!

...

RIP Cherie by the way. She was very helpful during the Valarie fight.



*Sigh*



I'm starting to get bored of the Cube now.

It keeps saying "Soon, soon" but "Soon" is starting to stretch into literal years of my life.



So now I'm big into climbing extremely withered vines over extremely deep holes in the floo-



...



*Sigh*

Yeah, I figured.




AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIEEEEEEEE-




-AM OKAY FOLKS!

THIS...APPARENTLY FLOATING COBBLESTONE PLATFORM BROKE MY FALL!

AND TECHNICALLY MY ANKLES BUT LUCKILY I'M ALSO TECHNICALLY SITTING DOWN RIGHT NOW!



Seriously though, what is UP with this place?



Did they build the ruins over a fucking chasm in the earth and these small platforms are all that stood the test of time?



I get the jumping puzzles but come on.

Give a guy a break from staring into the abyss once in a while alright, game?



Door One.

Let's have some fun.





Fun is pointing out how the hell these ANCIENT TOMBS detect badge numbers to allow access.




FUN is also wondering why the hell these ANCIENT DOORS MADE BY A CIVILISATION THAT HATES POKEMON require badges to enter.




FUN IS ALSO WONDERING HOW THE HELL AN ANCIENT CIVILISATION KNEW ABOUT THE CONCEPT OF BADGES IN THE FIRST PLACE!




FUN : IS ALSO WONDERING HOW THE FUCK DID THESE ANCIENT GARUFAN WANKSTAINS KN-




AGH FUCK!



HONESTLY THE GREATEST MAGIC IN THIS GAME IS THAT I'M STILL ABLE TO SEE EVEN AFTER FIFTY FLASHBANGS TO THE FACE!



Oh great.

NOW I'm hearing voices in my head.



And not the usual ones like my conscience desperately screaming in its cage or the madness that threatens to overwhelm me.



???

Well they're a Queen and a King?

You've kind of answered your own question, magic-box voice.



Weird and hard to understand?

That's how I'd describe it anyway.




"Except for those times where we were the aggressors! Hoo boy."

"She really lived up to the moniker of Griselda the Grisly then."



So she got paranoid and stopped giving a shit about you?

Or that she WAS betrayed and her successors squabbled over the pieces of her kingdom?



Well that's only if you start everything at the start of a war.

I'm sure there was peace before the war since without it there couldn't have been a war in the first place!



Are you really surprised?

...

Can you even be surprised with your Future Vision?



THERE WAS A DEAL ON AND THAT DAMN MACHINE DIDN-

Look I had this argument with the staff, security and that heavily pregnant woman, I won't have it again with you!




Form a democratic republic and then slowly slip into degeneracy and corruption just like every form of government?

Then do the whole loop all over again?



T-that won't happen in MY lifelong term of office though, audience!

Vote Sean for Aevium Champion to at least give the illusion of your opinion mattering in nationwide politics!



Also because they don't really matter in Pokemon.

...

Why hasn't there been a Champion that's evil yet actually?





So...summed up...

"Griselda was great! Here, have her pet rock"

...



Man, don't you just love history?



Now onto Door Number Two!



Which I'm not actually going towards but thanks to the power of editing I will end up there anyway!




Yeah, they aren't that great.

The lore is a better prize than the treasures but I think it's too far back to be relevant to anything right now.



And I don't get why this Griselda woman counts a random Dusk Stone as a cherished possession...



Also I'd wish you low-levels would stop starting fights with me.

I barely get any EXP out of you for it to be worth the time.



Oh look.

You can see the ghost Pikmen in the background of this field way more clearly than when I fought Narcissa.

Good for them.




...

Okay.



WHO did you hear this from exactly?

If someone else has been through here all the boxes should be open and empty.



I'm watching you, Hiker man...

...



I have enough badges to get into the 9th door, right?




Yep 9 Badges, 140 Pokemon caught, 506 Pokemon seen, 66 hours played and 200,000 Poke Yen in the wallet.

Which is like...1,500 euro.

Which is barely anything for all my talks of being rich.



BUT IT'S MORE THAN MELIA'S GOT!

AND THAT'S ALL THAT MATTERS!



...



Deep down...

I've always been a trashy and buxom woman at heart.

Seriously though, bra money is gross and full of cooties. Don't pay people with it.



I don't but I'm sure my consent doesn't matter.



Just like with pointless Pokemon battles.

Vitali.

Ugh...it's an actual name in Italy, I guess.



Haha rock star's Pokemon uses Uproar.

Real funny stuff.



Why is she low-levelled anyway?

I had to Rock Climb to get up here.



Nothing like a woman screaming right in your face to celebrate a victory.



Alright then.

Gonna leave you to your understandable freakout.



It's not every day you get crushed by the pinnacle of trainers everywhere after all.



Ah so this is the other side of the hole in the Behind-The-Waterfall room?

While that's one question I didn't really care about being answered here's another...



What the hell is this purple shit on the wall next to me?

I don't get what they were going for with it.

Moss?

















I never learned the answer.

It still haunts me to this day.



Which is appropriate with all these Gastly statues around.



Hello, weird blue floor tile.

What might you be?




Ah a Strength puzzle.

Well prepare to be skipped!

OI BLUSTER!



Go pick up that rock and put in on this blue floor panel, will you?


Thanks.



I am a uniquely brilliant mind.

And one of the few good things to come from Gen 7 is Machamp learning Strength naturally.

None of this exciting back-tracking would be possible without it since I get the HM at some point after getting on the train.

So it's a good thing I caught you when I did, my friend.



...



Well thanks for making my genuine appreciation weird now.

And for making me feel bad that I'm bad at showing affection to most of you.




Now.

Let's see where this leads us, shall we?



To the only door that I can't open right now for the sake of continuity.

Ooooof course.




















Huh?



This Shuppet moves one platform away when I get closer....like it wants me to chase it...

But I already have a Shuppet so I'm going to ignore it.




The power of Christ compels you.

Or whatever religious deity the Japanese believe in.

Izanagi?

Overwork-Sama?



Another skittish Shuppet?



Starting to think there's more than meets the eye to these Shuppets...



Let's not.



Ah. Door Number 2.

Already opened because I forgot to take pictures for a few seconds.



That's literally the reason by the way. I just forgot the whole reason I'm playing this game after five years.

The mind's a funny old thing.





Especially since it can survive WAVESs of information being smashed into my skull to tell me the story of Griselda but NOT remember to press F8 to take pictures.



Do you know any happy stories?

Kinda sick of all the gloom and doom.



Food, Safety, Comfort?

I don't know what would bring me peace though.

Probably just actual peace and quiet.



And then I'd get bored of that and want to go on some hair-brained adventure.

FUCK.

Will I ever be satisfied? Is it just not in human nature?



Ugh...gay.



I'm sure that lasted right up until you met the first person who didn't believe in that doctrine.

The whole "Be nice, make the world nice" stuff is great but the "turn the other cheek" shit is literal anathema to me.



Glad to see the ancient Garufalumps saw reason at least.

But knowing these incompetent assholes they probably went too far.

Balance is key to everything in life.



The fight or flight instinct, I assume?



"Especially the newborn children. Those dirty sinners"





Starting to think Grizzy was secretly a big fucking rock nerd.



That's what I said, isn't it?





















Finger's crossed, eh?



Y'know...for an ancient underground ruin...there sure are a lot of fucking trainers in here.

And for some reason they're all musicians?



Are the acoustics in massive caverns that good?



That theory will go untested unfortunately.

Because if I try to sing it'll probably cause a cave-in.



Now what are these big metal pillars doing here?

Are they a gate?

Hmmm...



Perhaps there's a switch around here?



Nope just a flying onion in a sack.

Sorry, pal. I already caught a Shupp-



-et?



Huh.

What was the point of me chasing it around these platforms then?



Ah I see now.

I have to work with the local Pokemon to progress?




Genuinely can't believe I actually learned something from that obstacle course for babies in Crawli's Gym.



...

Those Ariados were a lot less playful than these spooks though.

I just know it's going to slip past me no matter which way I go from here.

But maybe if I hop to the main platform and then hop at it from there...



It worked! Now surrender!



You're trapped!



Whuh?




Well okay you're not trapped but I've caught you within our little game's rules.

So go help open that weird gate.



You help too.



Now...only one more Shuppet to go...



...

Oh this is gonna suck.




But not really.

Puzzles are usually good and this one was fine.



Unfortunately I have to keep up my contrarian image or else this run will die and I'll cease to exist.

Like Santa or fairies.

Now go open up that gate for me, Shuppet.

I must keep plundering.












Good. That's all the pillars gone.

Unfortunately that's not the way to the next numbered door, so we have to skip back to the start of the chapter where I found a door behind the waterfall.



Here.

Door Number Three!



Even though it was the one I opened first.



O.

Or 0?

Either way I should probably wait until the textbox is finished before I start being a snarky little shit.



Don't mind if I do.

I'm kinda surprised that this chest hasn't been ransacked already with the door wide open.



You know what these things remind me of now?

The Prothean Beacon from Mass Effect 1.

I'm getting information from a long dead race about how they all died.

How swell.




AH! I CAN JUST FEEL THE BRAIN CANCER FLOWING THROUGH ME!

HOW SWELL!




I wonder who these messages were actually meant for?

After all I'm uplifting and populous! Not fallen and deserted!



1) My Big Axe Dragon, being victorious and being loved/feared.

2) I don't know who you are in the first place to make that guess.

And 3) I've never met this long-dead queen but judging from the first few chests probably rocks?



Or maybe it's the Griseous Orb? You know? The orb that looks like a cube?

It is most of her name after all.

And it's a big shiny rock as well! She loves those!



Who were all more Griseous Orbs she hacked into the game using Game Shark.



That's...a bit of a vague name, isn't it?



"Oh yes, the kingdom of everything in that general direction".



If that's even East I'm pointing towards...



One sec...



Yep. That's East.

My manly sense of direction proves itself once more!



You (and everyone else) are forgetting about the massive hole Reborn Sean blew in the wall 6 years ago with a Kamehameha.

Never got around to getting that fixed.



I know.

But I took these pictures before remembering so here they are.

Let's just chalk it up to another one of my many shitty sub-powers as a Protagonist and let bygones be bygones, alright?




Griselda, Timpea and Spacea.

Giratina, Diagla and Palkia.



Yeah, yeah I got that part.

Bunch of legendary gijinkas were born. You see a few of those types of comic runs here and there.



What I want to know is who the fuck are the King and Queen that sired them? (And why they gave Griselda the only real name?)



Well really, I want to know what the hell the one that isn't Arceus is.

Was it just another Arceus?

Or was it Jan himself?

...



Pretty sure Jan fucked an Arceus, guys.

It's canon in the Terribly-Titled Universe now.



Thanks to the awesome power of the Game Shark.



ALSO WHAT THE FUCK IS BEING BEAMED INTO MY BRAIN HERE!?

HOW DOES SOMEONE FROM THE "EAST KINGDOM" SUDDENLY JUMP TO RULERS OF THE FUCKING UNIVERSE!?

They must have had one hell of a propaganda team...



But everything changed when the Fire Nation attacked?



Okay so nothing so severe as that.

I'm guessing Timpea and Spacea kept borrowing their older sister's make-up and so she declared a war that cost millions of lives?

Typical sisters, am I right?



I'm fairly sure I'm right.

I'VE seen THREE whole episodes of Sister Sister after all.



Speaking of girls, why the hell is every character in this game's lore and backstory a female?

The only guy I've ever heard of is the Queen's Knight that died one time and did nothing else.



Uh...sure?

Thanks for what though?






I'll assume it was thanks for being myself.











Really wish more people would thank me for that.

It ain't easy being the sole voice of reason AND the funny one on this show.



Door Numbah 5 but technically Numbah 4!



There apparently isn't a door that requires you having four gym badges.



I guess it makes sense from a since you weren't able to return to the mainland from Terajuma until you defeated Valarie.



But how the fuck did the ancient Garufa know that'd be the case?



And how much of what I accuse the ancient Garufa-la-la-la-la, la-la-la-laas being able to predict is just simple game mechanics?

I'm guessing a lot.

...

You know I have no idea when this chapter is actually going up so maybe that Deck the Halls joke won't land as well...?

Oh well.



Maybe Merry Christmas everyone!

NARRATOR: And of course, in typical Sean fashion...

He uploads it at the very beginning of summer.




Now let's learn more about how the ancient Garufanatics fucked themselves!



Hang on a second though...

There hasn't been a single mention of Garufaginas or any of their symbols on the wall...



Was the Griselda's kingdom something different?

Because honestly the Garufan's sound less like a civilisation and more of a religious order.

Which is a polite term for CULT.



Could you relay the name of your civilisation first?

Because I'm getting worried that there's more than one evil Pokemon hating civilisation out there.

And you guys haven't mentioned Pokemon once so...kinda worried.




"Those power-walking soccer moms never saw it coming..."

"It also made trading fucking impossible. We had to literally hand the goods to each other over the borderline"



The ULTIMATE crime is attacking another country, ladies and gentlemen.



But I'm fairly sure the ultimate crime is blowing up the planet.

Can't exactly justify that.



Although since Princess Gri-Zelda apparently ruled over the entire fucking universe maybe that's what it entailed?




So I'm guessing she committed massive war crimes and didn't care for civilian casualties?

With every subsequent box I open, the more I think the first one was lying to me about how she cared for her people...




Put your best foot forward, I guess.

I respect that.



And this one is blank.



Oh boy.

What rock am I getting this ti-





Huh.

Guess this is when Griselda grew out of her geologist phase and became a goth chick?



You'd think with a name like "Griselda" she'd have been born with the black eyeliner and lipstick already on, wouldn't you?








Now it's time to run all the way over to the Radio Tower section of the ruins.




There's also a Reaper Cloth in this area if some maniac is using this run of all things as a guide.



NO.

IT'S THE REAPER CLOTH!



And here we are.

I wonder why they decided to have statues of Gastly instead of Gengar around the place?

Gengar would have been way easier to carve...



Huh. Good point there. Here's a protein bar.



Even if Gastly is a better choice thematically, these statues must have been sculpted with dark magic or something!

Because I just noticed that parts of the statue aren't physically attached to the base and are just floating in mid-air like a Gastly's gas.

Didn't think of that error did you, Jan?



You either SUCK or are BRILLIANT at scuplting!

WHICHEVER ONE YOU ARE PROUD OF, BE THE OPPOSITE!


















Creepy.

You can still see the statues eyes as we fade into the structure...



Okay, business as usual.




Or however usual skulking around long-abandoned ruins are for me.



So it's like once a month...

Month and half tops...




This has just been a particularly ruin filled week is all.



Jesus, these vines have really stood the test of time.

How did these ancient people even get around without them?

I haven't seen ANY stairs down to this level...




I'm sorry but are these ruins a fucking tourist trap that I somehow missed in that Goldenleaf brochure?

The one with the "Keep out, Foreign Scum" written all over it?




Ahhhhh NOW I know why you're here and who you are!



You're the dumb college-age sluts girls at the start of a C-list horror movie that die before the title scene and introduction to our main characters!



How the hell are ya? I'm a big fan of your works.



Yeah. Ghosts aren't really scary but the whole jumps out of nowhere thing is what gets people.

Isn't that right, Magic Anathea Ball?



"Ask again later."

You've been saying that ever since we got back from the past! I know you're still miffed about Maria but my hands are tied right now!



Also this is what the Soul Stone is now. A magic 8 Ball joke.

No point referencing superhero movies anymore.



Then why did you come here?

Hell, why did you come to Goldenleaf? The town of Ghosts/Xenophobes?




How nice.

Two friends off on an adventure to explore the unknown.







See? Just a couple of pals fucking with each other until one of them has a mental breakdown.

True friendship right there.



Same.



But alas.



What the fuck is that thing?!



It just popped up on the screen!

Looks like...an arrow pointing to a box or floppy disk?

Did the game just save?

This game has a fucking autosave function now?!



Jesus...the times they are a-changing...



But clearly not THAT much if Jan used a fucking floppy disk to symbolise saving.

MY POKEWALKER HAD MORE MEMORY THAN THOSE THINGS!

...

Where did that thing even GO anyway?

It's like I had it for a year then it erased itself from existence!
















Wow look at this!

A one person wide pathway!



Surrounded by a massive empty void!



Just like in my nightmares!



Thanks, Ancient Civilisation! I knew I could count on you to build a tomb of anxiety triggering horrors!




















Door Numb-

Hang on...



Door Number Already-Fucking-Open?



I definitely haven't been here yet.

Did someone manage to get to just this specific one before me?




Huh...that's weird.

And annoying.

I'm missing a part of the lore now!




Oh well it was probably was just more junk again.

I don't suppose if I closed it and reopened it the magic voice would start playing again?



Huh?

A "!" inside a textbox it instead of a bubble?

What sorcery is this?

And also why is this?





Wait...so how did I know the treasure was gone if I never checked the box completely?

How did I even not check the box completely?

It's a box.

There is literally only one direction to look.



Well I'm going to go ahead and click "Yes" obviously.

This requires further investigation (even though it shouldn't)



UHHHHHHHHH???



I know you were trying to give us a decent Pokemon here Jan but...



Doesn't this basically imply that this level 30 Scraggy has 6 badges?

How else would it have gotten in here?



Either way I fucking want it.



Any Pokemon that can beat six gym leaders by itself is one I want for my team.



You know the drill, Rose.

Break everything except for one bone so it doesn't die.





Well how ELSE am I supposed to describe how False Swipe works?



Jesus... never mind how a regular False Swipe works...

How does a critical?

Lacerates every atom except the one it needs to survive?




"Gotcha! Scraggy was caught!"

I'm glad I'm still so enthusiastic about catching Pokemon that I can still use exclamation marks when announcing it.

Even after all this time.



Great. We've caught the thug life Pokemon.

Wonder what the japs were trying to say by making it the dark type, huh?



Anyway let's think of a name for this little bugger...

Or buggette? It's apparently a female.

Uhhhhh...



Oh my darling, oh my darling, Oh my darling Clementine~



Hey it could be worse. At least I get to play a tragic but appropriate nursery rhyme if you die!



Oh you have so much to learn about how this team works, my young friend.



I'll also assign you an actual concrete personality if I ever end up using you.

That is also how it works on this team.

Most of the time anyway.



But enough of that meta bullshit, we've got three more doors to find!



Aaaand TMs as well!

Again?

Didn't I find this outside the ruin where I caught Prophet and that ladder before?



You know I never did end up teaching Shadow Claw to Rose like I thought I would.

There really isn't any benefit to doing it when STAB Dragon Claw basically does the same damage to Ghosts and Psychic anyway.



Shadow Claw's a great TM and if this were pre-Gen 5 I'd be glad to find another.

But it's not.



It's the future.

AND IT'S WROOOOOONG~



But definitely an improvement.



Well honestly that's your own fault.

Both for not bringing an Escape Rope...



AND BECAUSE YOU CAME DOWN HERE WITH ONLY FIGHTING TYPES!



No.

You're clearly the black character that dies first in this horror movie so why would I bother?.



That's true but the main reason is that I don't have a signal is because...



We're fucking UNDERGROUND!

Not to mention the air is probably filled with spooky ghost shenanigans that would block the signal.

Have you NEVER seen a horror movie before?



Man...this place has all the makings of a great...

Well an okay horror movie.

You've got your two dumb girls who'd run upstairs if a murderer was after them, your frightened black character who's fear drives him right into the arms of the monster...



And your exposition dump about who the ghost is and why she's trying to kill us.

Probably for trespassing as usual.



The twist is that I play the actual monster that the ghost was trying to scare people off from.



Has that ever been done in a movie yet?

It's basically just a twist on whole the Scooby Doo "scare people off my land because of secret treasure" thing but I think it would be entertaining.



Pokestar Studios, here I come!



Except no.

I don't want to go near that den of sin.



I'll make my OWN den of sin right here in Aevium!

We'll call it...Seanywood...

A place where old Jews can molest all the people they want!



Okay magic box of mysteries...what have you got for me this time?

Hopefully I didn't miss any crucial lore with the last chest.






"As I mentioned last time, the planet exploded and we moved to Mars but renamed it Earth"

"But that's all I'll say about the subject as you've no doubt heard the whole story last time!"



What fucking assholes.



THAT'S why the public doesn't matter, people!

No matter what you do they're never going to be fucking satisfied and they'll blame all their problems on you anyway!




Isn't that what you want though?



I mean it's obviously better to be both feared and loved like Machiavelli said...

But he also said if you can't have both, go for fear.

They'll only love you if they keep gaining from it. Once that stops they'll stop liking you eventually.

I think the quote is "Men love at their convenience but they fear at the convenience of the king"?



Griselda was doing a fine job in my opinion.

Really the only thing she had to do was avoid actual seething hatred and she'd be fine.



Something I'm personally very worried about when I become Champion.

Am I still going to be angry at everything or will I eventually mellow out?



Even I hope for the latter.




Bet she had her fingers crossed that the parallel universes theory was just a theory.



Also I'm confused. Is this box just trying to make the whole thing sound more "epic" by replacing the word "world" for "universe"?



Because I'm really fucking doubting that there was a massive space war between ancient fucking civilisations across the entire universe.

And if there was, then this whole game is ridiculous fanfiction trash because that's just too big a scale for anyone to actually like.



WE'RE IN A POKEMON GAME, JAN!

CALM THE FUCK DOWN!



Ah yes.

The lands of the universe.




YEAH!

FUCK DEMOCRACY! IT'S ONLY GOOD WHEN I'M NOT THE ONE IN POWER!

AND EVEN THEN IT'S STILL GARBAGE BECAUSE I HAVE TO DO THINGS FOR RANDOM PEOPLE!

I HATE RANDOM PEOPLE!



You know I'm starting to think that these chests were planted here by someone terrified of me coming to power...

In the vain hope that it'd deter me from doing what she did.

Because a lot of Griselda's moves seem reasonable to me.

After all she didn't start the fight. She's just determined to finish it forever.



You think I'm going to tolerate some fucking Galarian asshole with a fucking KANTOOOO Ace invading my Aevium?

Hell no.

Bomb them all.

Nintendo too.

They especially deserve it for never releasing a clean version of the Sword&Shield trailer music.

I WANT TO DOWNLOAD IT ILLEGALY DAMN IT!



"Her favourite anime, Death Note."




Guess she left the goth phase and became a botanist?



A really bad one too.

This seed is made of fucking plastic.



Heh.

What a funny jokester I am.

Now let's move onto the penultimate door.



But first let's look at this hole.

It's pretty big.

I wonder what's down there...

Or maybe something came up out of there?

Truly a mystery.



Okay. It's looking for Amber's badge now.



Wonder how her and Tesla are doing?



Well it's only been like two in-game weeks since I last saw them so they're probably fine.



Thanks to me and my amazing ability to fix every family but my own.



And Aelita's.

...

And Maria's.



And Melia's...but honestly it's the game's fault for that one.

Why the fuck did we not just attack Geara and Zetta from behind?!



Apparently nobody in this entire region has heard of pragmatism.



Alright Magic Box, so me how Griselda was betrayed by her own people.

That's what this is leading up to right?

It said last time the majority of people couldn't do anything.

So what's the minority up to?






That's...good?

Can't see much of an uprising happening if she's not only winning but doing it with barely any effort at all.

People should fucking love her!




Ohhhhhh noooo...

She's gonna get murdered, isn't she?

Her loyal subjects are going to kill her and her fam-



OH MY FUCKING GOD IT WAS THOSE TIME & SPACE WHORES!

THOSE ABSOLUTE CUNTS! I BET THEY TRIED TO JUSTIFY IT BY BEING FOR "THE GREATER GOOD" AS WELL.



Who the fuck CARES about the peasants dying because of your sister?

SHE'S YOUR OLDER SISTER!

Like if she was a tyrannical cunt to them I'd understand but it seems like Griselda really tried her best for them!



HAHAHA! OH MY GOD!



SHE WAS A ROCK NERD!

THAT'S HOW THEY GOT HER!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!




It was a Mountain Dew, Griselda wasn't gamer enough to handle it.

Either that or early onset Parkinsons disease.



But that's too sad even for this story where her two conspiring bitch sisters murdered her and used her own daughter as a patsy.

Again, not a SINGLE mention of any man in this story whatsoever!

Who was this daughter's father?

Jan?

It'd explain her treacherous nature at least.





Hey now.



This is an actual seed!

She's gotten better at her botany! Can't wait to see what she's grown in the next chest-



...

Oh.




*sniff*

I didn't expect to be sad when I came down here to learn about this fanfiction-y past.

I thought it would be a good chuckle for us all to enjoy! Not actually empathising with Griselda!



WE HAD CUTBACKS IN THE PROP DEPARTMENT ALRIGHT!?

SO MY UNDERPANTS ARE BOTH A REAPER CLOTH AND AN OLD LADY EYE DABBING HANKERCHIEF!























Hmmm...

A part of me is wondering if what these boxes are saying is all just propaganda from someone in the Griselda faction...

But I think it'd probably a bit more embellished if it wa-



...

That woman was not there before.



Go back and look at the images. She was NOT there before.



Um...hello?

Are you a regular creepy girl trainer?



Or are you actually the ghost of Griselda and that horror movie idea is actually coming to life?



Well now that we're within polite Pokemon conversation distance, who are you and why did you appear after I went in the treasure room?



And she vanishes.

...

...




NopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNope



NopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNope



NopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNope





































I FUCKING hate spooky stuff but this goddamn game just looooves to throw me right into it.




Oh my god...is Pokemon Rejuvenation going to say it?




MRS.OBAMA GET DOWN!



Oh.



That's a relief.

Now I won't have a cult of liberal looters annoying me.



Don't give those cretins your money, audience.

Don't give anyone political your money ever.

Don't give it to big charities either. Most of the donation goes into their pockets or the various ad campaigns about Umbantu, the starving little african boy.

Only a small fraction actually goes into what the charity is supposedly for.

Local charities are the better things to donate to.

Both because you can far more easily check to see if your donations were used right...and because it's easier hunt them down and beat them up if they aren't.






























I'm glad my sense of decency won out for a change and I gave good advice in that last paragraph.

Better than what was originally there.

A LOT of heavy politicised slurs.

Luckily my better nature won out and I didn't go on a rant.

Lord knows we get enough of that shit in media nowadays.



HMMMM I WONDER WHAT MYSTERY POKEMON I'LL GET AT THE BOTTOM OF THESE RUINS!?

PERHAPS A DUSKULL MAYBE!?

ALL SIGNS ARE POINTING TOWARDS A DUSKULL!



Ooh.

That's twice the size of the other chests...



Bet there's like a hundred shiny rocks and plants in here.

It's how Griselda would have wanted to be buried.



Or maybe it's bigger because it contains double the misery?



It's frankly amazing how after all the times this has happened my character is still surprised by it.



It's also pretty surprising he doesn't have brain damage!






"It was a very tall table, you see."



"The novelty giant furniture was a bad idea in hindsight"




Bad way to go.

Bloody cowardly way to do it too.

Why didn't they just honourably challenge her to a Pokemon battle like civilised people?





OH WHAT!?

HER OWN FUCKING DAUGHTER WAS IN ON IT TOO!? IT WASN'T JUST THE EVIL AUNTS?!



What a trio of absolute cunts.

"You've gone too far"

Yeah I bet the fallout from her suddenly dying didn't cause massively violent uprisings or anything!



Poor, poor Griselda.

That's got to be the absolute worst way to go. Knowing that the people you cared about most, didn't about care you...

They'd rather some fucking serfs they've never and will never meet being "free" instead.



Can we get a #IStandwithGriselda trending?



And not some other hashtag that'll be way more popular?



That's not how it works.



Here we go!

The Universal War of Independence that reduced the former royal family from ruling the universe to ruling no more than three houses and a lab!



Genius move, Time&Space&LittleBitchDaughter!



Wait, what?

That's...not what I expected!

Oh my god is she my ancestor!?



FUCK! ARE TIMPEA & SPACEA MY GREAT X3000 AUNTS!?



Er...hang on...might have jumped the gun on that theory...



REALLY jumped the gun on that theory.




WHAT KIND OF FUCKING POISON WAS THIS!?!



Did they...de-evolve or evolve her into a Giratin-



OH MY GOD WAS THE GIRATINA I FOUGHT ACTUALLY GRISELDA THIS WHOLE TIME!?!?




Yeah well maybe you should have aimed a little closer to your cunt family.

But still. Holy shit does that raise so many questions.



What exactly ARE Timpea & Spacea then if their human forms are their default?

Like I thought they were Diagla and Palkia masquerading as humans but...what...

Goddammit...I don't even know how to question this!



Well...guess that explains the damage to these ruins then.

And that big hole from earlier...

Glad that was settled. Still wish I didn't get yet more questions piled onto the heap.




Sent to her room without dinner? Given a severe talking to? Spanked so hard her ass turned red?

C'mon game stop making me guess.



Ah.

Well at least I know where Keta got that stupid idea from.




Cyrus was Right.

And also kind of wrong?

So Giratina DIDN'T create the distortion world.



Meaning Cyrus and Sirius both did everything for absolutley nothing like I always thought.

...

Man it's good to be right about these things.



Oh the "WORLD" now, is it?

What happened to the "lands of the universe", hmmmm?



Yeah this whole region has a problem with just fucking writing things down.

I can't even tell if the in-living memory cataclysm or whatever happened 50 or 20 years ago.



Probably fifty.

We can just pretend Vitus used his time travelling mansion or whatever to buy Maria that Gamecube.



It's her favourite t-shirt.



...



O-oh.



Whoa! There's more now?



Wait, I'm about to own someone?



Ohhh all those possible slurs from earlier are going to look in very poor taste now.



And only now.

It was clearly the highest of brows before.



As she well fucking deserved.





Well...that explains the Gastly statues at least.

And who's been narrating this DEEPEST LORE.



Why the fuck is her soul a Gastly though?



HOW THE FUCK DOES ANY OF THIS WORK!?!?

ARE GHOST POKEMON ACTUALLY CONFIRMED HUMAN SOULS!?!? WHY!?!? HOW!?!? AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!




Oh wow, only level 1?

That's pretty weak for a centuries old Gastly.

I suppose it was confined since it's creation.



Anyway.



She got get.

Thankfully this Gastly has a 100% chance of being a female so we won't have to deal with THAT particular plot-hole...



"They also love committing matricide"



Yeah I suppose I will.



Kinda feels odd naming the 100% former human soul of Griselda's daughter...

But it's not like I know her actual name,



Your new name is Traya after Darth Traya from Star Wars the Old Republic 2.

A fitting name for a traitor that murders her own mother methinks.



I DON'T WANT TO HEAR YOUR EXCUSES OR WHAT OLD MACDONALD AND KING EIEIO DID!

Now get in the box.



Hmmm.



Kinda pointless in freeing her now that I think about it.

Just transferred from one box to another...

Oh well at least she'll EVENTUALLY get some use.

















Well goys and birls...that was the chapter.

...



Yeah I'm not even sure how to sum it up.




So I'm just gonna pass out in this nice little alcove and next time we'll explore Akuwa town!

And maybe that island place next to it?

Man...filler's almost over now...



Well good night, audience!

Unless you're reading this during the day just to spite me!

In that case fuuuuuuck you!
 

Decibel575

Hidden but not so Hidden Lurker
Pokédex No.
487
Caught
Jul 12, 2019
Messages
75
Nature
Timid
Pokémon Type
Fairy, ???
Pokédex Entry
Legends say that you may find this elusive creature hiding in the screenshot section, roaming the Terribly Titled threads
First to reply again! HAHA!

Will edit after I am done reading


EDIT at 12:05 am. Yeah, I forgot to read it until now.
I never actually finished that backstory, it's a little depressing. Good thing Giratina is free now at least, I think, I can't remember what happened.
A free gengar is cool though. Shadow Ball, Sludge Bomb.
 
Last edited:

thetruelizardking

My many subjects are watching
Pokédex No.
4246
Caught
Apr 15, 2021
Messages
13
Location
Florida
Nature
Sassy
Pokémon Type
Grass, Dragon
Pokédex Entry
Often seen with a crown and surrounded by its many subjects, it will screech autistically when threatened.
Orlando or Deltona? Because there was two hits there.
You guys can be buddies!

Also why the fuck is there a place called "Kissimmee" in your state?
orlando. and trust me i dont know either. i live by a place called "lust road" so at this point i just roll with it. and dont worry sean, you will always be the main character in my eyes
 

No-name

Conqueror of the Violet Gym
Pokédex No.
603
Caught
Jul 31, 2019
Messages
168
Location
Nowhere significant
Nature
Serious
Pokémon Type
Fighting, Normal
Pokédex Entry
Likes vandalizing school buildings and is quite proud of doing so.
Also I'm confused. Is this box just trying to make the whole thing sound more "epic" by replacing the word "world" for "universe"?
Yeah. Lore at Castle Zygara and the Lost Castle proves this.




OH MY GOD WAS THE GIRATINA I FOUGHT ACTUALLY GRISELDA THIS WHOLE TIME!?!?
Yep. Still not the weirdest thing in the game somehow. Also WTF was that poison ?




The only guy I've ever heard of is the Queen's Knight that died one time and did nothing else.
AKA almost certainly the player character.


ARE GHOST POKEMON ACTUALLY CONFIRMED HUMAN SOULS!?!? WHY!?!? HOW!?!? AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!!!
Plenty of them are. Phantump, Gengar, Yamask, etc....


Honestly, I sort of sympathise with Griselda, if only because it proves that the Time & Space bitches are evil. #IStandWithGriselda


Can't wait for the back-tracking to be over so we can return to the PLOT, muhahahahh......


SNAKEWOOD WHEN, WHY ???
 
Last edited:

Bernag

Cybernetic lurker at your service
Pokédex No.
2806
Caught
Nov 1, 2020
Messages
18
Nature
Bashful
Pokémon Type
Water, Fighting
I'm starting to get bored of the Cube now.

It keeps saying "Soon, soon" but "Soon" is starting to stretch into literal years of my life.
sigh i know that feeling. But then i shiny hunted when i got the cube and now im hella happy.
FUN IS ALSO WONDERING HOW THE HELL AN ANCIENT CIVILISATION KNEW ABOUT THE CONCEPT OF BADGES IN THE FIRST PLACE!
DON'T QUESTION IT OR YOU GONNA BREAK THE FABRIC OF REALITY
Vote Sean for Aevium Champion to at least give the illusion of your opinion mattering in nationwide politics!
*votes happilly* after everything ? an immortal champion sounds awesome.
And I don't get why this Griselda woman counts a random Dusk Stone as a cherished possession...
shrug. At least now the litwick can evolve
YAS MY YUGIOH COMRADE. Share with us ty knowledge.
None of this exciting back-tracking would be possible without it since I get the HM at some point after getting on the train.

So it's a good thing I caught you when I did, my friend.
yeah buster is great. Being my favorite typing of fighting only makes it better.
Starting to think Grizzy was secretly a big fucking rock nerd.
ah so a geologi- dang it the teddiursa got it before me XP
Door Numbah 5 but technically Numbah 4!
pssstttt... number 4 is behind the waterfall near the ghost gym.
A really bad one too.

This seed is made of fucking plastic.
we all know how busted those seeds are... they are the one part of reborn and rejuvenation im like... no for the love of god noooooooooooooooo.
NopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNopeNope
i remember this scene... funly i always tried to catch her ghost and not run away. After being proven how immortal the character is. I'm the least worried about ghosts. we(mc) survived a nuke in the past and a volcano. Bring me a ghost girl i want to test the limits of my immortality.

Have a Comment-Off at High Noon outside the nearest saloon.
yeah ... now to find a saloon near both of us
Oh thank god, the man known as Jan has SOME taste.
Gigantamax is alright but every Tom, Dick and Harry dynamaxing whatever they want? Fuck that.
Sadly it looks like only Itemfinder will ever get the chance to do so. Maybe Traya too. I don't see why I would G-Max over Mega-Evolve though.
yeah but... this does make me sad about 1 thing... *looks at Charizard having now 3 megas* WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
First to reply again! HAHA!

Will edit after I am done reading
That's it!!! GRABBING MY PHONE AND SETTING AN ALARM FOR WHEN THIS POSTS. NEXT TIME I WON'T LOSE.

oh also
#IStandWithGriselda
 
Pokédex No.
927
Caught
Oct 22, 2019
Messages
117
Location
In the library with many good books
Nature
Timid
Pronouns
They/Them
Pokémon Type
Bug, Psychic
Pokédex Entry
A very small trash boy last seen clawing themself out of the gender dumpster.
Today Papa Sean is going to delve deep into the earth and find out more about the no doubt terrible fanfiction-y past of the Aevium region!
I'll get the booze, you're gonna need it.

How did they even hear you? Were you singing with the window open?
I ride a motorbike. Helmets have open bits so your visor doesn't fog over and get you killed. Nuff said.

Oh man I hate that show.
All those houses look so indefensible for lack of a better word.
The Australian one had, and I am not exaggerating this in any way shape or form, one woman build one of those awful mini-houses in Southern Tasmania, aka the part of the state that gets winds RIGHT OFF ANTARCTICA, and built a wooden outdoor bath that had basically zero shielding from the elements or passers by. Fuck that show, Jesus.

Veronica IS technically a gym leader, you know.
But I suppose you couldn't really call that prestigious...
Not in this fuckin' region with this fuckin' disaster of a Gym circuit.

No you see Pokemon Regeneration is the NEXT big fan-game starting with the letter "R".
And being made by nerds will have so many Doctor Who references it loops around from 'loving tribute' to 'who is this even made for because it's not for people who actually like either series'.

Why hasn't there been a Champion that's evil yet actually?
I mean every Champion before Leon (and it kills me to say this) was either negligent to the point of active malice, happy to throw children into actual hell - looking at you Cynthia - or an absolute tool who thinks brutal murder is the appropriate reaction to a Team Rocket Grunt but not a Team Rocket Admin.

Vitali.

Ugh...it's an actual name in Italy, I guess.
I think it's meant to be a feminine version of 'Vitale', except for the tiny problem that Vitale is one of the words for life and vitality and not a name, and also that's not how feminising names works in Italian. (I'm sorry I had to my inner linguistics nerd was screaming.)

I mean it's obviously better to be both feared and loved like Machiavelli said...
Poor Machiavelli, he wrote enough to make Alexander Hamilton look lazy but the one book everyone remembers and takes seriously is the one written as satire and a thinly veiled 'Fuck you' to the Borgias.

Local charities are the better things to donate to.

Both because you can far more easily check to see if your donations were used right...and because it's easier hunt them down and beat them up if they aren't.
Quoted for Truth.

OH MY GOD WAS THE GIRATINA I FOUGHT ACTUALLY GRISELDA THIS WHOLE TIME!?!?
HOLY SHIT THE GAME ACTUALLY DID SOMETHING REALLY CLEVER AND FILLED WITH NIGHTMARE FUEL!

Well that won't lead into Melia being even more needlessly overpowered and ~special~ at all now will it.

Huh it actually didn't, I did not see that coming.

ARE GHOST POKEMON ACTUALLY CONFIRMED HUMAN SOULS!?!?
Yamask, bro.
 

Sovereign One

The Supreme ruler that never does anything
Pokédex No.
4284
Caught
Apr 19, 2021
Messages
5
Location
In bed
Nature
Sassy
Pronouns
He
Pokémon Type
Dragon, Fighting
Pokédex Entry
Doesn't understand sarcasm yet is quite good dishing it out, he always laughs at inappropriate times,

spikesgirl1

Lugia Worshiper
Pokédex No.
446
Caught
Jul 9, 2019
Messages
63
Pokémon Type
Fire, Ghost
This is reminding me about how stupid the whole Garufan culture comes across. I was hoping I'd forgot.

Sure, why not, I'd vote for you! This whole region needs a big overhaul anyway.

Could you imagine if Game Freak made a future Champion evil? Honestly, it would at least be a little interesting, I think.

Wow, I don't think I knew that Machamp just learns Strength now. Neat!

The Shuppet thing feels like some weird mix of chasing Farfetch'd from Gen 2 and herding Wooloo in Gen 8. At least it seemed mostly painless.

...I don't even know what Jan looks like, but that's a mental image I did NOT need, Sean.

Aww, Clementine is such a cute name for a Pokemon that would fit right in with Team Skull.

Dang it, I was enjoying the tyrannical adventures of Griselda the geologist/emo/botanist. Stupid murderous sisters and daughter-- Ohhh, she straight up turned into Giratina and took everyone except the sisters out? I'm good with that.

Ugh, Cyrus. I've only played Diamond, but I've seen the additions in Platinum and I still didn't care about him or his plans.

Woah, okay, didn't expect you'd get to catch her Gastly (heh) daughter. Weird twist.

Ha, I am reading it during the day so in your face! :P
 

pikafan96

That Little Yellow Rat
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
2619
Caught
Sep 27, 2020
Messages
60
Location
The middle of nowhere
Nature
Quiet
Pronouns
She/Her
Pokémon Type
Electric, Dragon
Pokédex Entry
A reclusive creature. Can rarely be seen scavenging for food late at night.
I'm glad you liked the picture, and I am also glad that I got to be the first one in your fan-art folder too!
I finally get to be first at something!



They are just never going to get rid of that noose, are they?

What a lovely reminder that if I showed up five minutes later than I did, that Sariah girl would have hung a child.
They can't just get rid of the nooses!
It would completely ruin the aesthetic.




T-that won't happen in MY lifelong term of office though, audience!

Vote Sean for Aevium Champion to at least give the illusion of your opinion mattering in nationwide politics!
I don't know know about anyone else, but those sound like the words that a trustworthy leader would say; you've got my vote!
Man, it sure is nice to know that I won't be stabbed in the back by a politician for once 🙂


Also because they don't really matter in Pokemon.

...

Why hasn't there been a Champion that's evil yet actually?
To be fair, one of the more popular theories I saw going around the web before Sword and Shield came out was that everyone thought Leon was going to be the main villain of the game.
... I think we all know how that turned out though.




...



Deep down...

I've always been a trashy and buxom woman at heart.

Seriously though, bra money is gross and full of cooties. Don't pay people with it.
I have a confession to make; literally every woman in my family does this. I mean... I don't (it's uncomfortable) but everyone else does.
Personally - I blame the lack of pockets in most women's clothing.




The power of Christ compels you.

Or whatever religious deity the Japanese believe in.

Izanagi?

Overwork-Sama?
Amaterasu?
... I'm not too sure about that actually; that might just be the ol' Okami memories coming back out to haunt me.




Food, Safety, Comfort?

I don't know what would bring me peace though.

Probably just actual peace and quiet.



And then I'd get bored of that and want to go on some hair-brained adventure.

FUCK.

Will I ever be satisfied? Is it just not in human nature?
This is why I firmly believe humanity will never be able to create the traditional "utopia" we see in media.
I guarantee - if we solved all the world's problems then humans would just get bored and go out to create new problems.
We just like conflict too much.


You know what these things remind me of now?

The Prothean Beacon from Mass Effect 1.

I'm getting information from a long dead race about how they all died.

How swell.
Does this mean if you try to relay this information back to someone that they won't believe you, so you'll have to get together a rag-tag group of outcasts in order to stop the looming threat?
... Does this also mean you get a spaceship? Because spaceships are cool.


Griselda, Timpea and Spacea.

Giratina, Diagla and Palkia.

OH! That's why this whole underground labyrinth has been giving me Distortion World vibes!
Makes sense now.


Okay so nothing so severe as that.

I'm guessing Timpea and Spacea kept borrowing their older sister's make-up and so she declared a war that cost millions of lives?

Typical sisters, am I right?



I'm fairly sure I'm right.

I'VE seen THREE whole episodes of Sister Sister after all.
No you're right.
If I even looked at my sister's stuff weird when we were kids she would come at me like I just tried to kill her dog, and god have mercy on her if she even attempted to so much as touch any of my precious video games.
So yeah, I'd say that's a pretty accurate statement.




There's also a Reaper Cloth in this area if some maniac is using this run of all things as a guide.
... That's actually how I found your Reborn run all those years ago.
I was looking up help for a part I was having trouble with in Reborn and stumbled across your run. I pretty quickly realized it wasn't what I was looking for, but stuck around anyway for the humor and because I thought it was a neat way too play through a game.




Doesn't this basically imply that this level 30 Scraggy has 6 badges?

How else would it have gotten in here?
Personally, my money's on the idea that this Scraggy just stole some poor stupid kid's badges and somehow found it's way down here.


But that's too sad even for this story where her two conspiring bitch sisters murdered her and used her own daughter as a patsy.
You know, I already felt suspicious towards Timpea and Spacea, but now that I know that they just decided to off their sister - I hate them even more.


HMMMM I WONDER WHAT MYSTERY POKEMON I'LL GET AT THE BOTTOM OF THESE RUINS!?

PERHAPS A DUSKULL MAYBE!?

ALL SIGNS ARE POINTING TOWARDS A DUSKULL!
I think it's gonna be a Sableye!
I mean come on; the ghost theme, being in an underground cavern, all of Griselda's weird rocks - it just screams Sableye.


Wait, I'm about to own someone?
Honestly, this whole thing just feels like slavery with extra steps...
 

Turtleboi

Conqueror of the Pewter Gym
Pokédex No.
845
Caught
Sep 26, 2019
Messages
8
Location
In my mind
Nature
Relaxed
Pronouns
He
Pokémon Type
Normal, ???
It was confirmed in Gastly's Ultra Moon Pokedex entry: "Poisonous gas comprises 95% of its body. It's said that the remaining 5% is made up of the souls of those who died from the gas." So yeah, Gastly is canonically the ghost of dead people.
 

thetruelizardking

My many subjects are watching
Pokédex No.
4246
Caught
Apr 15, 2021
Messages
13
Location
Florida
Nature
Sassy
Pokémon Type
Grass, Dragon
Pokédex Entry
Often seen with a crown and surrounded by its many subjects, it will screech autistically when threatened.
also you cannot stop me from commenting multiple times! I WILL RAISE THIS THREADS COMMENT RATING ALL ON MY OWN HAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA.


random question tho when is the rising ruby gonna continue...and finally, i modelled my pfp after that scene you did with the conkeldurr, because i havent laughed that hard in years
 

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