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A heroic saga of love, loss, anger, more loss, a LOT more anger and a great number of idiot induced headaches. Welcome to the wild ride that is Pokemon Rejuvenation!
Our resident shiny magnet has a Gardevoir, doesn't she?
Also thank GOD Kanon is hopefully dead. You aren't worthy of living if you turn on the bad guys smack-dab in their evil lair AND use a total type disadvantage. Fucking idiot.
"I hadn't considered your immortality... That must be why Zombie Sean is getting smarter, the Sean he ate is regenerating and thusly merging with the already present body. Welp, I'm just gonna leave him here and let this universe sort out this problem on their own." *flees back to the darkness beyond time*
Whenever they hurry up and link this run to my account.
And no, why would he be in this? He was in Reborn because I played that three years ago and wanted to differentiate between Past-Me and Now-Me.
Rejuvenation is Present Sean only. I ain't going back over 80 chapters just for small jokes.
Okay,I just realized that Nastasia is pretty damn young. Since the GameCuber was released in 2001 and she seems to be like 7-to-9 in 2001, that would make the present Nastasia 27 at the oldest.
Yo. This is the new site I guess. Finally got this run over here.
This welcome is really just for the Rejuv forum kids who might not have known about the switch.
Anyway WE'RE BACK BABY!
Enjoy the chapter while I re-direct every single link I've given for this run AND put every episode in a spoiler box so you all aren't loading 3 massiv updates at once.
Sigh...that's a lot of work...
@pikafan96 - Honestly this whole game would be solved if my guy would just speak up about something once. JUST ONCE.
Nobody in this game knows how Pokemon attacks work. Geara thought Double Team formed solid copies as well. Do things just happen if people believe hard enough in this region?
Haha mine just said my old dog died and that was it. No sugar-coating at all.
@Gaunt - I'll re-roll my powers when we get to chapter 100. Hopefully I don't get immortality because I'm not sure how double immortality would work.
I don't even think they've been trained. Timpea and Spacea just hand out guns at the Time Police Academy and that's it. No training.
Mainly because I knew that objective was doomed to fail and so I couldn't be blamed for it failing since I must appear infallible at all times.
So really I just set Venam up to take the fall.
@YingYang9705 - Name one. All I could find we Indian ones.
Hahahahaha! You're so fucking right about the moveset bullshit.
@Zane0144 - A very reasonable explanation except for how I can still remember the stuff that's going on.
Maybe he just has a very, very, VERY poor attention span and I'm the only one paying attention?
@Majin J-Awesome_One - Yes but at the very least he wouldn't have been fooled by Infinite Nuggets.
THE GAMECUBE WAS RELEASED 50 YEARS AGO, FEEL OLD YET?
Yeah the next time we see Team Xen they've got a stupid motto and do poses. It's really weird...
Don't. And it was because that's how you pronounce Delia. It's one letter off how could it by that different?
I am obsessed. OBSESSED WITH REVENGE!
Still have it. Don't know what to use it on. Probably that Shadow Beldum? I dunno.
@Dex - I do mention that but it's very fun to just call Venam a drooling mongoloid.
A lot of people were but it's not like I did it for good reasons. I figured Saving Maria would fail because she's still with Indriad in the future so I pawned that 100%-gonna-fail mission objective on Venam so people would see me succeed and think about how great I am. Mind-games, man. Mind-games.
Shit stand honestly. What can it even do? Provide me with a person very similar looking to Melia at all times? No thanks.
I don't think the league ever mattered to anyone at this point. It's kind of just been a side-quest on the way to stopping Team Xen's shenanigans.
@Hakinblue99 - I don't think I'll Nuzlocke again after Reborn and Rejuvenation anyway.
Nah I just didn't save her because I knew I'd fail so I pushed that stigma on Venam instead. After all it's expected that she'd fail. It's all she does.
Only actions that effect Melia will change the timeline and that's it.
This game makes less and less sense instead of more each time it updates. That's my summary of Version 12.
Also I want my free pass to the Pokemon League now. Screw those dead rich people.
@hycrox - Beginning to think you and that Carnivine are secret lovers with how adamantly you're defending it...
On it's own, Anti-Assist obviously but the Carnivine was just a long string of Ranger idiocy trends that really did my head in.
@The Fangame Riddler - IT WASN'T EVEN COMPLICATED. There wasn't even any division or fractions or algebra.
We'll just forget about this okay?
Well that was an extremely easy escape.
And thanks to my "amazing" editing, I got to electrocute a bunch of fanatical maids!
What fun.
BUT IT IS!
...
What is it?
Oh hey. White Mage isn't dead.
That's a surprise, those guys are usually brittle as fuck.
Y'know I'm starting to think this Gardevoir isn't as bloodthirsty as she seems. (The officers don't count as people)
After all she gave me multiple chances to leave that short-bus sergeant behind and apparently only teleported Kanon out of the building.
Why wouldn't she have just killed him?
It's time to come to heaven, my child.
It turns out I was god all along.
No Kanon! That's Satan! Don't let her tempt you to eternal damnation!
Oh for fucks sake, will you stop jerking your head around and looking so fucking surprised?
Christ...now I know why everyone compares you to a deer in headlights...
Yeah calm down with that twerp shit, Vicky.
You're the biggest brat here.
Do you have Sean Powers too?
Did you also get sent to a weird house on the cliffs where it mostly showed the corpses of people you don't really care about?
Ah...buddy...
I'm really sorry about that. I don't want to even think about what I'd do if I lost my dragon starter.
...
Although It would certainly be a lot more violent than what you're doing now.
A lot more.
Wait, what?
Madame X saved you?!? HOW!? You said it yourself! You got destroyed!
How the fuck was that katana-wielding weaboo able to save you from THAT!?
WHAT BULLSHIT POWERS DOES SHE HAVE!? I THOUGHT IT WAS JUST A POWERSUIT!?!
I think she could have totally saved your Salamence.
What would be stopping her if she was able to save you from death?
At least we know now that Gardevoir was actually trying to kill you. Still doesn't explain the multiple chances she gave me to run. Maybe she truly was frightened by my heroic presence?
Well isn't that just a HANDY way to dismiss all the questions any normal person would have right now?
"I don't get it and I'm not going to bother trying to get it"
Thanks Veronica/Jan. 'Preciate it.
It's okay man.
It's oka-
*smack*
Jesus his starter just died Veronica. No need to lash out and hit him.
And I'm fairly sure we don't need Kanon to do this.
Sure it cost her 25% of her health but it was all that she could do.
Oh and what a tragedy that would be.
A city getting destroyed slightly earlier than it would normally.
Oh for the love of god...
I have to admit, Veronica was pretty cunning to use Kanon's (idiotic) love for Melia to get him moving. Perhaps she knew that'd motivate him because it'd do the same for her?
But...
"And let's think about Melia before others, okay?"
Yeah neither of these fuckers give a shit about the hundreds of innocent civilians that would die.
It's all about "Muh Melia" with these horny teenagers.
Disgusting.
Well you can. I do it all the time.
The trick is to turning it into something positive...like anger!
Nothing more positive than anger!
And nothing gets you moving quicker!
Well maybe love but I've never used that. It's pretty gay after all.
I'm just remembering that yes, we do.
The Time and Space gods could and would easily stop this at any point.
They might not care about the city and its people but they definitely need Melia for something.
It's all about "Muh Melia" with these horny goddesses.
Disgusting.
That's right she's MUCH worse.
Also I've just lost a ton of respect for you.
At first it irritated me but then I was actually looking forward to the constant "love me Melia, no Melia love me" cold war that you and Veronica were going to have throughout the rest of this season.
Mainly because it'd annoy the shit out of Melia.
But now you've taken that from me. All because someone hit you and told you to think with your dick and her vagina.
...
Just once I'd like a male friend who isn't completely whipped by Melia.
Well there was Adam but he never did anything useful.
...
Shit...I don't think he actually did anything in the time I knew him.
...
No wait.
He turned into a rock once.
...
Yup that's it.
...
Because he's Rock Leader Adam.
Great. Hopefully we fail and everyone here dies.
...
And by everyone I mean you guys.
I'm sure Crescent will save me any second now. Or I'll turn out to actually be immortal.
It is not large by any means.
We can literally see from one end of the city to the next from right here.
Maybe it's large by your shitty HOENN standards but please. We're from a post Luminose and Castelia City timeline. We've seen bigger.
Oh good.
We might be able to get in a full game of "The Campaign for North Africa" while we wait for you to summon up a single thought.
For those of you who don't know what that is well...
If you think Monopoly drags on for too long, this board game beats the shit out of it with a rusty pipe.
Takes over 1,500 hours or two months for a complete game apparently.
So if you (and 9 other people) have got absolutely no life at all...you should play it? I dunno. I'm pretty much just talking for no reason right now.
It takes a while for Veronica's brain to boot up.
Good plan. We'll definitely find her since there are only three streets in this town anyw-
I don't remember Fred ever being killed in Scooby Doo.
Also this isn't a movie, Veronica. We're only chasing a single servant woman. We're not hunting BigFoot or running from a swamp monster.
This is a video game REAL LIFE. We'd only need one of us to overpower her.
Honestly Veronica out of the three of us here you're the only one who hasn't died and came back.
So you don't know what you're talking about.
As usual.
THANK YOU.
See Kanon gets it. Literally just a maid. I've hurt plenty of maids before!
...
Yep. I see nothing wrong with that statement.
"What I say goes" huh?
Wow.
Being bossed around by you is actually WORSE than being bossed around by Melia.
Although at least you realise you don't know what you're doing and ask smarter people for help or advice instead OF FLYING OFF ON YOUR OWN.
Ahem.
Anyway let's go north.
Nothing good ever comes from going "south"
It just gets hotter and hotter and then colder and colder.
It's a garbage direction.
Wait, that's up not north.
TO THE NORTH! WHICH IS IN THAT DIRECTION!
It's odd we didn't find her on our way in actually.
Surely if the bomb can wipe out "kingdoms" as Gardewhore back there said, you could just chuck it anywhere. No need to go somewhere specific or hide.
Hey maybe she's outside the Blakeory Office building?
You know? The only plot important building in this town?
I TOLD YOU! I'M NOT FUCKING GOING SOU-
Uhhh...
Well then.
RIP Kugearan and all its inhabitants?
Yes. Amazing how often that happens to cult members.
Look on the bright-side, Veronica! At least I'll survive.
And really is there any better silver lining than me continuing to live?
I don't think s-
AAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
Ow.
No really. OW.
It was quicker than burning to death but man did that split-second of being obliterated sting like a BITCH.
Hang on...where am I?
Last time I died I got sent to a nice vacation home on a cliff.
But here it's just darkness...
Well in the game at least.
Unfortunately the immersion is broken because the light is juuuust out of my reach.
Hnnnnghhh...
Ugh. It's impossible.
OH GOD DAMN IT! DID I ONLY GET ONE "GET OUT OF DEATH" FREE CARD!?
WHAT A SHIT SUPERPOWER!
At least Venam and Melia died with me.
Or well Venam did at least. Time and Space probably jumped in to save Melia even though it isn't an eclipse...
Oh for...
WHY ARE YOU HERE!? CAN'T I DIE IN PEACE!?
Oh you got something to say? Want to murder my mother again? What!?
I genuinely don't. Through no fault of my own.
NOBODY EXPLAINS THINGS TO ME AND I DON'T HAVE THE ABILITY TO ASK QUESTIONS. YET THE GAME KEEPS MOCKING ME FOR IT!
WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO, YOU CUNTS!?
Oh I do know that at least.
Your one source of Dimensional Rifts is gone for good, Geara's probably atoms right now seeing as Crescent broke the teleport mid-teleport, Jenner's dead, Madelis is an idiot fangirl now, and several Xen Grunts lie dead on Mt.Valor.
And yet you still don't have Melia.
...What?
What the FUCK do you mean saving me each time?
YOU'VE NEVER SAVED ME BEFORE! I WOULDN'T EVER ACCEPT YOUR HELP!
And please "important to everything"?
I don't remember suddenly turning into a blonde teenager with family issues.
I'm only ever important in side-quests where I can win properly and don't have to deal with cutscene bullshit.
LITERALLY ALL OF LAST SEASON'S PLOT COULD HAVE BEEN DONE WITHOUT ME.
I WON EVERY FIGHT BUT NOTHING CHANGED.
I beat Carnivine in under a minute? Nim still gets stolen.
I beat Zetta on that beach? He still gets away.
I beat Ren in that cave? Nastasia gets away because the story is retarded enough to think that the fucking BUG leader would be stronger than me. Which I then proved wrong so hard by beating his entire special team with one Pokemon.
I (and anyone else) could easily have stopped Amber from being kidnapped if we just closed our eyes or attacked the Hypno immediately but no. Madelis gets away.
I beat Groudon? That bitch Cera still got enough of the Magma Stone to free Angie.
I beat Geara and Zetta on the mountain? Well we all know how THAT went.
Bitch I'm Sean.
Dickhead Extraordinaire.
I ain't got no past because we haven't elaborated on my backstory yet.
BITCH YOU GUYS ATTACKED THE BOAT I WAS ON TO SPECIFICALLY CAPTURE NANCY?!
WHY THE FUCK WOULDN'T I INTERFERE?
Granted I barely know her but you can't help but grow attached to the person who jumped in front of a sword for you.
...
Putting aside the indignation for a sec so I can analyze the rest of the textbox...
"You weren't here the first time"
Now THAT raises a whooooole load of questions.
Did all this happen before but without my stunning self involved? Is time cyclical here and Madame X remembers the first time around?
Or was the timeline reset because Melia&co were literally helpless without me and the world got destroyed?
Was I actually the secret protagonist and Melia was just a red herring!?
Jesus Christ this book is nearly full and we're not even close to this game being over.
I may have to buy a second one to rant in...
AND WHAT ARE YOU DOING STANDING THERE!?
WHERE THE FUCK IS THIS PLACE AND HOW ARE YOU ABLE TO BE HERE!?!
Yeah no shit. I figured that out pretty quickly myself.
And unless she's a former abused student of that Quick Claw teacher there's nowhere else important enough for her to drop it in Kugearan.
BITCH.
DON'T YOU FUCKING ORDER ME AROUND! I'LL KICK YOUR SPANDEX WEARING-
-ASS!
Wait, what?
(Fun Fact: "Wait, what?" is the most used sentence in this entire run. Makes perfect sense that it is though.)
So it appears Madame X has the power to send people back in time.
...
...
...
...
Jesus fucking Christ.
CAN I JUST...CAN SHE JUST...?
AAAAAUUGHHHH...
My life is a relentless torrent of filth and misery, Kanon.
I'm very rarely okay.
YOU KNOW NOTHING OF MY SUFFERING, MY INSATIABLE HUNGERS, MY LOATHING FOR ALL LIVING THINGS!
Yep.
Added that last one myself in Photoshop.
Fuck this stupid group decision bullshit!
MY WAY OR THE HIGHWAY NOW, BITCHES!
TO SAVE THE FUCKING CITY AND GET AWAY FROM YOU!
TWO BIRDS WITH ONE STONE!
...
BITCHES!
I don't need praise from you, of all people.
Wait...where did you find Melia? I thought you said she went back to Amberette town?
Bah nevermind. What do I care about her work hours?
Hello there. I'm afraid we're going to have to separate you from that explosive device now.
Or else we'll separate you from your life.
Kanon died. Madame X brought him back.
That should answer all questions you have and no we will not elaborate further.
Love, Jan.
D-did she really just place the bomb out of her hands?
When it would have been completely secure on her person?
Jesus Christ, is there something in the water making these people so stupid?
Wow. Someone actually being proactive and not letting the villain rant for once.
Nice work, Kanon. My respect for you has increased slightly.
Especially for a henchmaid.
Why the fuck do you think you're important enough to give a grandiose speech about your evil plans?
They aren't even YOUR evil plans!
WWWWROOOOOAAAAARRRRR!!!!
You might even call it super-effective!
Sure. Go right ahead.
And because I'm such a nice guy (And not that I only edited two pictures of this) I'll even stop stepping on your neck and go back to my original position.
Oh come on now Veronica! I was hoping she'd find out first-hand!
Way to kill the fun and not kill the maid.
Also she wasn't going to teleport you out like she said, if that helps you make your decision.
Trust me I'm from an alternate timeline where you succeeded.
Jesus that's depressing if that's how time works in this game.
That timeline doesn't have a Sean anymore. How will it survive?
God I wish I could say the same.
You know guys, we probably shouldn't have just let her go. She was completely willing to destroy an entire city and is only leaving because she might get punished for failing.
That doesn't sound like someone we should let roam free among socie-
Okay focus on Kanon's thievery skills and not the deranged maidiac that we just let loose.
Go Team.
Trust me, Kanon. Veronica knows what she's talking about when it comes to swiping things.
Oh of course SHE gets an explanation when she asks but when I ask everyone is selectively deaf!
No, Sean swooped in and got shit done.
You completely failed to do your job. Or has the fact that Maria is now in the clutches of that cult slipped your pea-brained mind?
Just one small knock could destroy this entire city and everyone in it!
Awww...well we can't have poor, delicate Melia feeling uncomfortable, can we?
Here Kanon. Pass the bomb here I know how to get rid of it.
Thanks pal.
...
Say, Melia?
Remember when you ran off to Mt. Valor on your own despite all our sacrifices to get the Magma Stone?
If this was what I thought it was I would have recommended you see a doctor.
And then I would have kicked the "this" out of you.
...Couldn't help but notice I didn't hear you washing your hands...
Oh well! Guess that's another great unsanitary HEROIC deed performed by your heroic hero, Derogatory Trainer.
Please put it down in the annals of history with the rest of them, whichever one of you does that for a living.
Put it at the top. Because clearly I'll never achieve anything higher.
Dadadada~
Also I don't know if this building could be called an apartment...
When i think of apartment I usually picture a large building full of them.
Not a squat bungalow with a basement.
And a lot of books.
Did angsty teen Melia live here as well?
Guess we'll check the basement.
Hopefully not for dead bodies.
Okay...was NOT expecting to find Dexter's fucking Labratory down here.
What the hell is this suspicious place?
Okay nevermind I figured it out.
Team Xen have so many secret bases in this game that they've even hidden one in the past!
WHO IS FUNDING THOSE PEOPLE!?!?
Ugggggghhhhhh...fine.
UUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH......
Is this going to be some maniac's ramblings on Arceus and experiments on Arceus?
And probably the Garufan too since they have their extinct fingers in everyone's pies.
Yeah I've made that joke countless times. It's always a lie.
"To everyone else but you, person reading this. Yes, you. You know who I mean."
Seem familiar? I've probably done that several times. This book ain't fooling me.
...
This isn't going to be the diary and confession of some serial killer who collects hearts is it?
Oh.
...
This isn't going to be the diary and confession of some spiritual serial killer who collects souls, is it?
Well whaddya know? I have!
Yeah...
And sometimes that doesn't change after you purify them...
ALMOST LIKE NORMAL WILD POKEMON DO!
WOW. WHAT A TERRIBLE RESEARCHER THIS GUY IS!
Ah yes, that incredibly un-scientific process that involves a lot of praying and holy water by an old shaman woman.
Chiller redemption arc when?
...
Oi.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!
"It's incredibly edgy."
Could you explain how they are created instead of telling me stuff I already know?
Like how a half-Melia, half-Pokemon was able to create them out of thin fucking air?
Except be a portal to ANOTHER FUCKING DIMENSION!
Why am I still reading this shit? I know more about these things that this fucker apparently!
Oh.
OF COURSE.
It's very, very easy to kill them though.
I haven't been actually challenged by a Dimensional Rift since Amethyst Cave after all.
The first time with the Kangaskhan Galvantula, not the Chandelure battle.
That thing was really easy.
And only slightly traumatic!
I immediately dislike anyone who writes "Heh..." into their own fucking diary.
...
Okay but why would I bother?
Aside from the babby Volcanion I couldn't give half a shit about any of the others.
And I don't think that Carnivine was worth redeeming anyway.
And even if it was I'd still kill it.
FUCK that thing.
....
Melia. It's going to be Melia. Of course it's going to be Melia.
Ugh fucking Melia.
"Eye of Quagsire and toe of Politoed...? Wool of Zubat and tongue of Houndour...?"
And what the fuck does "hubble, bubble" mean?
I thought this was going to be at least slightly scientific going by all the equipment...
Yep thanks for half-assing that, Jan.
YOU DON'T KNOW ME. I COULD BE A SORCERER FOR ALL YOU KNOW!
Eh, why not?
My bag's full of wacky and mystical junk. What's one more cursed artefact to the pile?
Is it just me or are things getting...bluer?
OH GOD! MAYBE THAT WAS ONE CURSED DOODAD TOO MUCH!
NOOOOOO! I DON'T WANT MY LAST SENTENCE TO HAVE THE WORD DOODAD IN IT!
AT LEAST LET ME CHANGE IT TO GIZMO OR THINGAMAJIG!
oh.
How...
What the...
HOW IS THAT THE ONLY THING I'VE DONE THAT CREATED A NEW FUCKING TIMELINE!?!?
WHAT ABOUT THE GUY WHO WAS OUT OF TOILET PAPER!? THAT WAS PRETTY SIGNIFICANT!
...
ALSO THE WHOLE MANSION DEBACLE!?!?
Although I suppose you could discount the mansion since I had no free will to change things whatsoever back there whereas I made a choice to pick up the book and take it with me....
BUT WHAT ABOUT DOESN'T-WASH-HIS-HANDS DAVE!? SURELY I'VE CHANGED HIS TIMELINE!
I SAVED HIM FROM HAVING TO WALK BACK TO HIS HOUSE WITH A DIRTY BUM!
...
Is that another unattended evil book, I spy?
Spread-open on the table and vulnerable for perusing?
Which was the sexiest date in all of history.
Also I hope there's no urban legend where if you say the letter X three times into a book, Madame X comes to get you.
Huh.
Is this Ren's diary or something?
Okay not Ren then.
He's not exactly important enough to have stakes that high.
"Old fool...?"
*GASP!*
HE WAS THE MAIN VILLAIN THIS WHOLE TIME!
OF COURSE! HOW COULD I HAVE NOT SEEN IT EARLIER!
"It is called Pokemon Go! And it will bring in hordes and hordes of casuals that only watched the first season of show as a kid occasionally!"
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAIIIEEEEEEEEE! THESE BOOKS ARE SO SCARY!
Damn. You don't think you should consult your friends on that?
Wow. What a nice 2015 reference that was.
But the writer was probably talking about Melia.
Everyone usually is.
Uh...hello?! Why is the camera panning away from me?
OH FUCK WHAT'S HAPPENING!?! IS THAT THE TIME TRAVEL SYMBOL!?! WHO'S COMING IN!?
TIMPEA!?
OH MY GOD THE URBAN LEGEND I LITERALLY MADE UP WAS TRUE!
WHAT ARE THE CHANCES!?!?
WOULD YOU JUST FUCK OFF AND STOP HARASSING ME TODAY?
AND HOW THE FUCK ARE YOU ABLE TO TIME TRAVEL WHEREVER YOU WANT!?
HAX! I CALL HAX UPON YOU!
JUST TRY TO STAB ME NOW, BITCH!
OR ARE YOU ONLY GOOD AT DOING THAT TO DEFENCELESS WOMEN WHO JUMP INTO YOUR PATH!?
C'MON, YOU HELMET-HEADED HUSSY!
AIN'T NO MELIA TO DISTRACT YOU THIS TIME! JUST YOU, ME AND THIS BASEMENT!
Yo, I don't even remember when I last commented (transferring my storylockes was hell enough, so I don't envy you having to deal with this behemoth), but I'm sure commenting will be fiiine.
No one:
Kanon: *sees the light but turns to the forces of evil instead*
Madame X truly is evil, saving the lame white mage but not the badass Salamence...
Veronica's got a bad case of the Hughs. It's a condition where dumb NPCs lash out at other dumb NPCs. I'm afraid it's very contagious... Soon all the dumb NPCs will be attacking each other. oh noes
Oh God no. No one should have to play a board game for two months. Who has the space in their house to keep that set up?!
Maybe Scooby Doo would be more interesting if anything happened to Fred. He is the most boring thing in an already pretty boring show. #shotsfired
Oh no! Sean is alone! I mean, it's in a void of darkness, but! No Melia! and the darkness can't be horny for her
Oh, Madame X, if only the player were important in this plot...
LITERALLY ALL OF LAST SEASON'S PLOT COULD HAVE BEEN DONE WITHOUT ME.
I WON EVERY FIGHT BUT NOTHING CHANGED.
I beat Carnivine in under a minute? Nim still gets stolen.
I beat Zetta on that beach? He still gets away.
I beat Ren in that cave? Nastasia gets away because the story is retarded enough to think that the fucking BUG leader would be stronger than me. Which I then proved wrong so hard by beating his entire special team with one Pokemon.
I (and anyone else) could easily have stopped Amber from being kidnapped if we just closed our eyes or attacked the Hypno immediately but no. Madelis gets away.
I beat Groudon? That bitch Cera still got enough of the Magma Stone to free Angie.
I'm just re-iterating this summary here because this is my biggest problem with the game, at least as a spectator. If you want Melia to be the main character, fine. But there still needs to be a reason to play the game and not just treat it as a visual novel.
Was I actually the secret protagonist and Melia was just a red herring!?
For a moment there I was worried that this game was going to try to pull a Calamity Trigger as even that game has trouble pulling it off. Think ground hog day but with a 100 year loop instead of a day and more characters being aware of it. Also the characters who are aware of the situation are trying to stop it in the little ways that they can as they know the event that triggers the loop (if your curious what the event is it's a girl killing a guy causing them to merge into a monster that destroys the world then goes back to the past to terrorize that as well where it is killed causing the loop). Then again the season's still young. *Reads Key quest* Holy fucking shit this might actually be Calamity Trigger. Okay so all we need is a blonde girl who...Son of a bitch! At least Noel was a good character! Please can this not turn out to actually be Calamity Trigger! Please!
Since this is back I'll get back to work on finding character themes for the cast. Strongly leaning on something for Aelita and I've all but confirmed something for Madame X
Edit: I found a solution to the gif problem. use the insert media tool.
Edit 2: Now that I think about it. Please tell me Indraid realized that the bomb failed and sent another one. Just so we can avoid him being a complete idiot.
"Don't worry about those Seanless timelines. I have carefully placed bits of Zombie Sean that regenerate into full semi-undead so that they can continue your reign of would-be terror in a world without Melia."
"P.S I would totally help you, but Spacea and Tempia (I don't care if their names are misspelt) are blocking me from interfering with the 'Main' timeline, which given that which one that is switched THREE times in one day is BS."
And here we are once again, with our hero, Sean alone in the woods with two teenage girls that he wants to kill.
It's a good thing that I, Sean, am also the narrator
Because anyone else narrating this man and the dark recesses of his mind would have called the police years ago.
So...abandoning Maria, huh?
Well I'm not. Although I probably would have ended up there if we didn't get Terajuma'd by Spacea.
Or Titanic'd by Team Xen.
But I can probably guess what it's like; dull, grey and starts to rain every time you leave a building?
It is a cursed land then.
Forsaken by all.
AGAIN WITH THIS "BRAT" THING! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO CALL YOU OUT ON THIS HYPOCRISY!? EVEN AGELESS BEINGS AREN'T SAFE FROM YOUR BULLSHIT!
Also you're very naive to assume any god is a "good guy". I played God of War once for ten minutes after all. I know my stuff.
Everyone's perception of good and bad are different on some levels, Melia.
I thought it was a hoot when Kakori Village was burnt to the ground by Anti-Assist remnants and nobody else.
But you guys would probably disagree with me like you usually do.
Whining about "Oooh Sean, think of the children, Ooooh Sean, the Rangers provide a valuable service, Oooh Sean, please stop sharpening knives in the middle of the night!"
What rubbish.
That's pretty fucking stupid.
This has got to be one the easiest of our misadventures so far.
"Find Kanon in a town covered in farts"
Not exactly "Wrestle with Yveltal during a thunderstorm" is it? And it's not like the gas will affect me.
Jan hasn't even put smellivision in this game! The bloody hack!
Oh yes. Probably on how well both of you can stand back and let the "big strong man" do all the work.
Y'know if Aelita were here I'd almost have to hold her back from helping me.
But you guys are either useless or useless team-killers so perhaps it IS for the best I do all the work.
Wish you'd stop claiming partial credit on it though!
If only they provided you with cheerleader uniforms. That way you could be somewhat useful.
Because why does Gary Oak get a group of them but not me?!
He's a poser who quit battling to become a nerd! Fuck him!
Sorry Melia. Vine died years ago. It's all about Tik Tok now apparently.
Why do we always hang out in forest groves? Can't we hang out somewhere normal people do, like a bar?
Oh wait...teenagers...right.
A cafe then? At least I could eat actual Berry Pie instead of raw berries off the bush like I'm doing right now.
Wow, really!?
Imagine not being able to scour a city for a letterbox sized object you weren't looking for over the course of 16 years?
Except it's not 16 years, is it? It's whenever your mother decided to let you off your leash and roam free.
So it's more 4-5 years of completely free movement.
Unless Mrs.Venam's Mom let you roam wild as a toddler and prayed that you'd get run over or kidnapped.
It would explain why you're so easily lead to unknown places by people you don't know. Chastity never gave you the whole "Stranger, Danger" talk.
I'm seriously considering putting a cowbell around your neck so we'll be able to track you the next time you get lead down a dark alley by another group of cultists.
Okay.
...
What? I've got nothing smart to say about that.
Sometimes I just accept what's being said.
It's easier on the blood pressure.
Don't we have all the time in the world?
Is...time moving forward in the future while we're in the past?
And not us just returning to exactly when we left?
So if we spent two days here it's two days gone from the future?
Yikes.
Better not leave the stove on when if I travel back here again.
...
Well if I ever OWN a stove.
Oh good.
At least this one is much more agreeable than that shitty one that took us here.
"Help Melia and like it, scum." What a dickhead!
Even if it was me who wrote that joke in.
But I've never denied being a dickhead.
In fact, if it weren't for censorship I'd be the Dickhead Trainer 6969!
Okay that's a lie.
There'd be at least twelve more 69's in that username.
Yo, I don't even remember when I last commented (transferring my storylockes was hell enough, so I don't envy you having to deal with this behemoth), but I'm sure commenting will be fiiine.
No one:
Kanon: *sees the light but turns to the forces of evil instead*
Madame X truly is evil, saving the lame white mage but not the badass Salamence...
Veronica's got a bad case of the Hughs. It's a condition where dumb NPCs lash out at other dumb NPCs. I'm afraid it's very contagious... Soon all the dumb NPCs will be attacking each other. oh noes
Oh God no. No one should have to play a board game for two months. Who has the space in their house to keep that set up?!
Maybe Scooby Doo would be more interesting if anything happened to Fred. He is the most boring thing in an already pretty boring show. #shotsfired
Oh no! Sean is alone! I mean, it's in a void of darkness, but! No Melia! and the darkness can't be horny for her
Oh, Madame X, if only the player were important in this plot...
I'm just re-iterating this summary here because this is my biggest problem with the game, at least as a spectator. If you want Melia to be the main character, fine. But there still needs to be a reason to play the game and not just treat it as a visual novel.
We can pray, but all of the gods of this world are horny for Melia...
Yay for stopping more confusing rants that don't explain anything! boo for leaving loose ends alive
You're a Barbarian/Paladin (Oath of Vengeance). Vengeance on what, you ask? ...e v e r y t h i n g
Haha it's the load times that are killing me on this site!
I have to question why you sent me that massive image on...Kirby lore and/or conspiracies? Why?
Kanon probably thinks the light is another fucking car about to hit him. He's a "deer in headlights" after all.
Oh god HUGH. The most forgettable rival in the Pokemon Games. I only know about him from Macktavious's reaction-lockes.
It would take up a garage definitely. It's more who would have the time or the friends willing to play a board game for 1,500 hours.
My favourite character was Scooby's actually mentally retarded cousin Scooby Dum. I wonder why we don't see him anymore, huh?
I'm fairly sure I am important, like in a "if Jesus had a bodyguard" kind of way. But that's it.
Yeah honestly what motivations do I even have anymore? I don't even like anyone involved in the story anymore. Jan got rid of the others.
Some of the rants in this game make mine look sane by comparison...
I looked that up and I approve.
My official class is an angry Paladin. We'll need someone to make fan-art of this!
For a moment there I was worried that this game was going to try to pull a Calamity Trigger as even that game has trouble pulling it off. Think ground hog day but with a 100 year loop instead of a day and more characters being aware of it. Also the characters who are aware of the situation are trying to stop it in the little ways that they can as they know the event that triggers the loop (if your curious what the event is it's a girl killing a guy causing them to merge into a monster that destroys the world then goes back to the past to terrorize that as well where it is killed causing the loop). Then again the season's still young. *Reads Key quest* Holy fucking shit this might actually be Calamity Trigger. Okay so all we need is a blonde girl who...Son of a bitch! At least Noel was a good character! Please can this not turn out to actually be Calamity Trigger! Please!
Since this is back I'll get back to work on finding character themes for the cast. Strongly leaning on something for Aelita and I've all but confirmed something for Madame X
Edit: I found a solution to the gif problem. use the insert media tool.
Edit 2: Now that I think about it. Please tell me Indraid realized that the bomb failed and sent another one. Just so we can avoid him being a complete idiot.
"Don't worry about those Seanless timelines. I have carefully placed bits of Zombie Sean that regenerate into full semi-undead so that they can continue your reign of would-be terror in a world without Melia."
"P.S I would totally help you, but Spacea and Tempia (I don't care if their names are misspelt) are blocking me from interfering with the 'Main' timeline, which given that which one that is switched THREE times in one day is BS."
I wouldn't even think I'd need to reign terror in other worlds. I imagine without Melia I'm very chill.
Nah I can't fault you man. You're just a master versus a god. You can't be expected to win that fight.
I have such great friends. Why I love them so much I'm going to ditch them for fifteen chapters after West-Gearan!
If only I could be as cool as Trunks was doing it. Instead of handing a guy toilet paper.
I don't trust anyone in this game anymore. Anyone I did is either in a coma, evil now or not a human.
Why does this "Abandoned sewers" have so many bloody time-travel events?
Uh...
It makes me feel safe.
Well safer than just wearing a T-shirt...
...
Fuck you.
I'm wearing this for the rest of the show now.
You fuckers at home have had it too easy for too long!
You gotta WORK for my reactions!
UHHHHH...no it fucking isn't!?
What the hell happened to this place? I thought it was supposed to be ABANDONED and yet they renovated it completely?
The floors used to be PURPLE for crying out loud! Not a clean white with a cloud pattern!
I suppose a lot changes in the three years of this run.
Like my entire body...
Or however long all this entire adventure has been going on plot time.
It's very short I think. Like less than a year.
And if we want to get super short and precise this adventure's only been going on for less than 72 hours in real time.
But that's ridiculously short. So it doesn't count.
I wouldn't even really count it just being a year. Any normal person would have died of stress by now.
I was about to ask the same of that giant fucking security camera over there.
It's more of a film projector than anything else.
A smelly sewer filled with teenagers that also comes houses a, what I assume, 1-star Chinese restaurant?
...
Yeah I can see this being popular with you people.
Greater people than you (me) have tried to make sense of how things work in this crazy world, Veronica.
And every time they (I) failed.
I dunno about that Melia.
Long distance relationships always seem like a terrible idea to me.
Why are you so confused? It's not a very young person healthy relationship if you're not at least banging each other's brains out whenever you ca-
Oh right, you were questioning her not me.
*Ahem*
Carry on then.
You know I'm genuinely surprised you didn't just explain as them being Time AND Space Crystals and actually gave a decent explanation.
But you could have made it simpler by just comparing them to connecting teleport pads that happen send you back or forward in time.
Also I'm changing out of this now. I vastly underestimated how hot it would be. Winter can't get here fast enough.
UNNECESSARILY COMPLEX TRANSFORMATION SEQUENCE THAT TAKES SO MUCH ENERGY I FELL ASLEEP AFTERWARDS!
And then Sean fell asleep.
Yeah I wasn't joking about that part.
Transforming takes a lot out of you, okay?
Perhaps if we go, and bear with me on this...
West?
Is it?
I thought there was a bridge over there? Oh wait they're probably blocking it off...
God why the fuck is the government so capable at blocking off roads but terrible at everything else in this universe?
Well as the now undisputed strongest trainer on this island I think I qualify.
Also I think I remember there being a way through the sewers?
Ah wait. I think some people collapsed it because the East Gearan gangs were a bunch of pussies and couldn't stand up to West Gearan punks?
Says the girl who irritatingly grabs everyone's attention when she walks in a room.
If only, huh?
And you're not confirmed dead, just presumed dead.
Jesus, someone has a self-inflated ego. I think Jenner's disappearance was a liiitle more newsworthy than his daughter since he was the only Pokemon Professor for the region!
I wonder what new trainers do now that he's gone? Does Amanda have to do all the work now?
...
What even was her job anyway?
That's...very unlikely.
One, we seem to be the ones always following Team Xen but I suppose that's different now that we've got their #1 Most Wanted Trainer with us.
(I'm still a little miffed about that not being me but whatever.)
Two, You aren't THAT fucking recognisable. Just wear a hat and some sunglasses and we'll be fine.
Hat and sunglasses.
Hell, why not just wear a mask? Not like the police do their jobs arresting suspicious people anyway.
Or do their jobs in general.
I'm fairly sure 75% of the crime in this region is stopped by me doing Help Requests.
That was a fast few minutes.
Are you sure you don't want more time?
I don't want this plan to be stupid like all of your other ones.
You never used the word "operatives" though.
Because now I'm feeling very paranoid.
And a paranoid Sean is a violent Sean.
Actually I get violent at pretty much anything nowadays.
I used to be calmer back in the day before my supposed mother was brutally slaughtered in front of me along with my Best Good Cat.
I wonder if there's a correlation?
IS IT NADINE!? ARE THOSE FLOWERS SECRETLY LISTENING DEVICES AND THAT'S WHY SHE DIDN'T WANT ME STEPPING ON THEM!?!?
DOES ANYONE STILL REMEMBER WHO I'M EVEN TALKING ABOUT!?!?
Auugh...not her!
She's the reason you I was so late getting to you in Amethyst Cave, Melia!
I remember some bullshit about only letting members of her gang use Rock Smash!
As if that cunt has any say in what moves people are allowed to learn.
Oh really? So she's been leading a small gang of totalitarians that spy on everyone in the city because Time and Space told her to?
Well that's not reassuring in the slightes-
...
Oh.
Oh. Oh. Oh.
There's a worrying thought I've just had.
What if...Karrina delayed me from helping Melia...on purpose?
Now hear me out, Time and Space obviously need Melia for something specifically, right? Maybe for the same reason as Team Xen need her?
And they recruit people by saving them and making them feel indebted towards the godly duo, as it's already been established.
And one of that duo being the Goddess of Time, she can see the future, right?
So what if they ordered Karrina to keep the Rock Smash TM away from me long enough for them to "acquire" Melia?
After all she wasn't any stronger than Venam. I didn't really need to "prove my strength" in that faux battle I had with her. It was simply a delaying tactic!
Because Timpea and Spacea needed Melia vulnerable because that would be the only way for getting her to join!
If I'd have gotten there before Team Xen and saved Melia, then she'd have no reason to join up with the Time Police. She wouldn't owe them anything.
And we'd have not as annoying young-Melia instead of the irritating one we have now!
Although then this run would be under a lot more scrutiny if I was hanging out with a 14 year old all the time
That all makes sense right? I'm some crazy paranoid person who constantly sees conspiracy everywhere, right?
I'm not like that guy who said Silph were pouring chemicals in the water to turn the friggin' Politoeds gay?
Just like me and this Nuzlocke.
My dark secret is that I do Nuzlockes!
And murder hitchhikers
But that's obviously a lie since there are no hitchhikers in Ireland since everything is pretty much within walking distance in comparison to America
Yeah I wouldn't pity her too much. Melia.
There's a high chance she's the reason you've wasted three years in the past doing absolutely nothing of value.
You can't even use Flambe Bistro as a reference either since it doesn't exist and everyone who knew about it is dead.
No it isn't.
I vote we grab her by the ankles and shake the truth out of her.
And since I only believe in democracy until I have the smallest ounce of power over people that's what we're doing.
Her secret gang headquarters, yes.
Where she's monitoring the whole city.
...
And now that I think about it and see that giant camera, she's monitoring us right now.
Fuck...sometimes it's a good thing I don't speak aloud.
Or else she might have heard that I know the truth about her.
I can't wait until you guys stop using the word time in every other sentence like that.
My life was normal for about ten minutes into this game and then everything went balls-to-the-wall wacky.
I truly envy you for the peace you used to have.
Ugh! What am I talking about?
Me? Envy VERONICA, of all people!?!
No way man!
I'm the coolest guy in town or anywhere around!
But my god do I sometimes wish I had a armchair to collapse into.
But that's mainly because this desk chair I currently have is 14 years old and really uncomfy now. I need a pillow underneath just so I sit here long enough to write these things!
It's broken too see? Back comes right off.
Anyway enough about my decaying office furniture.
Karrina is right there.
As if she knew we were coming...I WONDER HOW!?
Awful place to do have one anyway.
Really Terajuma would be the perfect getaway if I didn't have such shockingly bad memories of the place.
Well Melia had three years of working a part-time job while I was busy trying to find my mother and simultaneously stopping the region from coming apart at the seams.
Which one seems more like a vacation to you?
Ouch.
Guess Karrina agrees with me on how unimportant you are to the plot, Veronica.
WHY ARE YOU HERE!?!?
Also probably because you look completely different.
You can't really blame her Veronica.
Our sprites are literally 30% body 10% face and 60% hair.
That 60% makes a big fucking difference.
Turns out that along with being a no-good thief she was also lying about having purple hair while training the one type you need purple hair for.
Cain and Aya have it after all.
Honestly she SHOULD be a fire-type trainer going by the laws of these fan-games.
...
So when can I assume she'll be executed for this transgression?
I do too.
Who gives a shit about people noticing a girl with purple hair decades before she was born?
Like what did it matter really?
Okay so you fail to recognise Venam with a different hair colour but you recognise me with a different everything?
And secondly I'm only "involved" because West Gearan is the next place I have to go to get a gym badge. Not because I'm part of Timpea and Spacea's gang.
Wow! Praise from Caesar!
And your damn right you're glad to have me.
Where would you actually be if you didn't? In some Team Xen lab being experimented on whatever it is they want you for.
Also I'm not part of your "group". If anything I'm a contract worker that's being paid in misery and headaches.
Why the fuck do we need her permission?
She doesn't hold any authority.
"The whole of West Gearan is under lockdown, following the aftermath of the ill-thought out Bean-Eating contest."
Yes we know.
And we're very worried about it like normal people would be.
How would you feel is some random gang leader was always watching you?
Yes, I watched the news just before I went back in time.
It all boiled down to someone farting I seem to recall...
Bean, beans the musical fruit...
THE MORE YOU EAT, THE MORE YOU TOOT!
There are authorities in this city?
Aside from you declaring yourself one?
Colour me surprised.
White hair, wizard robes, a dead Salamence that he instantly forgot about after Veronica mentioned Melia...does that ring any bells?
There's a camera joke here.
But I just can't picture it.
The Fart Fog knows Guillotine!
WE'RE ALL DOOMED!
...
Also I'm very proud of that camera joke. Was completely spontaneous too.
God I love me.
Not really.
The fog of farts was happening before Kanon was even introduced as a character.
Plus as a little spoiler, him being transported wasn't even necessary to clear the fog at all.
Yeah not for a flatulence fog related reason. That's way too small time for Spacea to care about.
Literally someone with a gas mask could solve this problem.
It's not like the bottom-burp breeze is so thick it needs a fucking nuke to blow it away.
Not sure I'm liking this train of thought, Melia...
WHAT THE F-
How would that even work!?!?
"Hey there kids! Auntie Spacea here! I've just planted a bomb in a heavily populated area! Don't you go blowing it up and killing thousands okay? *wink*"
Does she not know that we don't have to do what she says? She is aware of that, right?
Okay "your" city is a little much but I agree with you on everything else.
We're not blowing up Gearan by any means. It's not like it's Kakori Village or anything. I don't hate this city.
In fact it's probably the only town where I don't have any genuinely terrible memories.
It's where I met a lot of the old gang after all.
...
Okay, Veronica? I'm going to need you to stop arguing for the complete destruction of your own hometown, where your OWN MOTHER LIVES?!?
I know you're the scum of society but that's going a little too far. So I'm going to chalk this one up to you being a moron and not being actually evil like you're increasingly appearing to be.
I'm glad you've acknowledged that this retarded train of thought is strictly belonging to the two airheads in front of me, Karrina.
As thanks I won't mention my conspiracy theory to Melia.
Which is basically me giving you nothing since she never listens to my sound advice anyway.
Okay cool. We'll just wait here then.
Why?
Why "us"?
I don't even want to go there with the colon-cloud hanging over the city.
There is literally no need for us to actually get involved.
It's not our fault there's a bomb there.
Why are you so adamant about doing this? Who cares who does it?
And I get the feeling "our mission" will involve me doing all of the heavy lifting as usual so fuck it.
I say let someone else do all the work for once.
Okay missy, first of I'm the most professional person at dealing with massive threats in this fucking region.
And secondly, I don't have a home to go to and that makes me sad so don't say it anymore or I'll cry.
A truly heroic thing to say right after considering that you might have to blow up a city.
"Obey us right now or else"
Also not the most heroic thing to say.
But I guess asking Veronica to be heroic is like asking Melia to stop being more special than everyone around her.
You know you can't really blame Karrina for being like this, Melly.
She's clearly familiar with how brain-damaged you and Veronica are.
Sigh...I guess it's up to me to try and convince her that'll I'll keep doing what I've been doing the past year or so and keep these special-needs kids from killing themselves and others.
Very true.
Also very true.
I wouldn't fucking trust this clown with a match let alone a bomb.
Especially since Amber got the blame for burning down half the city years ago when the true culprit is obviously Veronica.
Very fair.
Besides we really, really, REALLY don't need to be the ones to do this.
Good on you, Karrina!
FUCK TIME AND SPACE AND THEIR BULLSHIT!
I don't. I understand completely. Make sure to send me a postcard!
...
Why the fuck did I make this "call me" hand gesture when I said that?
Oh well. Not like there's one for writing a postcard anyway.
She doesn't really know me either and we've be in (unfortunately) close proximity for ages.
I don't think any of these people even know my birthday or how old I am.
And yet Venam can probably tell you everything there is to know about Melia. Even stuff Melia doesn't know herself.
She's a little batty for Blondie if you get my meaning.
Very clever.
What's not very clever is telling us that you have both the means to get to West Gearan and the means to traverse the ass-air in the same location.
Because the plot will now demand we mug you.
...
And yes, I did make a list of different words to call the fart-fog.
Next one up is " the biscuit breeze"
...
No I WON'T stop!
No Melia, that's not what she was saying. GOD. You never listen!
Where are you anyw-
...
Did Melia just fucking "N-nani" Karrina?
...
Okay why is there an awkward silence like we're two acquaintances standing at a bus stop?
Just fucking tell me what you want to say.
Veronica. We both know what you mean when you say that.
Do I need to get the hose?
Because I fucking will.
Also you've never told that to me before.
I'd definitely remember something that incorrect.
That fucking Togekiss is the apparently the only Pokemon that can actually fly freely in this damn region.
Also height is kind of hard to judge in this. I thought she launched at her from the side tbh.
And they're all resoundingly bad ones.
Remember the LAST time she got the bright idea to fly somewhere on her Togekiss?
Three people died and yours truly was fucking one of them.
You really think SHE'S the one you've been relying on so much?
My god.
Oh no. You didn't say anything that I didn't already know.
I was just surprised by someone being able to be so wrong so many times is all.
"She's dead"
Yeah, Karrina's fucking dead.
Melia's spewing the biggest bullshit right now.
How exactly would she have been able to "not kick her in the head too hard" while doing a falling kick?
Melia's got a shit-ton of powers but I'm fairly sure controlling fucking GRAVITY isn't one of them.
And they just accepted all that garbage despite the fact that you're supposed to be dead in this timeline?
I'm starting to think you just shoved her in the door and ran, Melia.
A Druddigon with eczema would have been smoother than that. Don't kid yourself.
Oh well. Guess it's about time I put those boat hotwiring skills to the test.
Oh good.
The only sensible action you've taken today.
Big "if" on her waking up.
I'm definitely testifying against you if this goes to courts, Melia.
She'll rip you a new one is what she'll do.
And I will eat popcorn and watch.
I can, if that helps.
Guys, I can pilot the Yacht. Tesla gave me h-
GUYS I KNOW HOW TO PILOT A YACHT.
I'm 100% sure I'm 100% against this decision.
HELLO!? MR.KNOWS-HOW-TO-PILOT-A-YACHT OVER HERE!
Yes but once again, nobody heard me.
...
I'd cry but the tears have long since ran dry.
And I mentioned I did.
Several times.
Honestly can't wait to be part of yet another ship crashing.
This is my third one so I get a free mug from Captain Stern if I survive.
Ha! Good one.
Imagine having faith in a train-wreck protagonist like Melia?
And if you could also relax your talon-like grip off my arm that'd be much appreciated, Veronica.
I don't care how much you like the colour, I don't want my arm to turn purple.
Well I suppose it's a good thing we have oxygen masks on board now.
More like learn HOW to fucking steer! All you did was go forward into the pier!
NOPE. FUCK THIS. I AM NOT BEING IN ANOTHER FUCKING SHIPWRECK. NO MATTER WHAT KIND OF COFFEE CUP I GET!
MOVE OVER, YOU BLONDE BIMBO! I'M COMMANDEERING THIS VESSEL AS THE ONLY FUCKING PERSON WHO KNOWS HOW TO PILOT A YACHT!
OH NOW YOU LISTEN!? DID THE THREAT OF CAPSIZING OPEN YOUR EARS?!
...
Ugh...Tesla gave me her yacht and I just watched a bunch of videos on Mewtube.
How else do you think I made those trips back to the city?
I don't trust ships or artificial intelligence, you'd think I'd trust a ship with a fucking "auto-pilot"?
Yes.
Someone we both know actually likes me more than you, Melia. Get over it.
Granted it seems to solely be the Von Brandt family right now but hey.
Gotta start somewhere.
Now a hard turn to port should do the trick...
Thank you, thank you. I'm here against my will all week.
Sean uses Bite.
I'd rather bite your disgustingly delicate fingers than have to swim in that dirty water again, Melia.
That's CAPTAIN Sean to you, missy! Now keep quiet or I'll have you swabbing the poopdeck!
And since this isn't a large enough boat to have an actual one, I'll just make you clean the bathroom with a cotton swab.
So do either of you land-lubbers know any shanties?
Melia? You're the one with the so-called angelic voice? You know any?
Guess it's up to me then.
A-hem.
YO HO, YO HO! A TRAINER'S LIFE FOR ME~
WE BATTLE, WE TRADE, WE WHITE OUT AND WE LOOT!
DRINK UP ME HEARTIES, YO HO!
WE KIDNAP SMALL POKEMON AND DON'T GIVE A HOOT-OT!
DRINK UP MY HEARTIES YO HO!
YO HO, YO HO! A TRAINER'S LIFE FOR ME!
WE THIEF, WE EMBARGO, WE BOOST OUR ATTACK!
DRINK UP ME HEARTIES YO, HO!
CONFUSE AND PARALYZE AND EVEN TALK SMACK!
DRINK UP ME HEARTIES YO, HO!
YO HO, YO HO! A TRAINER'S LIFE FOR ME!
WE BLAST-BURN AND CHARM, INFLAME AND BITE!
DRINK UP ME HEARTIES YO HO!
WE SAVE ALL THE REGION FROM THEIR PLIGHT!
DRINK UP ME HEARTIES YO-HO!
WE'RE VILLAINS, COWARDS, HEROES AND BRAVE!
DRINK UP ME HEARTIES YO HO!
WE'RE DEVILS AND ANGELS, A MIXED BAG OF EGGS!
DRRRRINK UP ME HEARTIES YO, HO!
YO HO YO HO! A TRAINER'S LIFE FOR ME!
WE'RE PSYCHICS AND FIGHTERS AND NEVER HAVE DADS!
DRINK UP ME HEARTIES YO HO!
AYE! BUT BEING LOVED BY JUST OUR MOMMIES AIN'T TOO BAD!
DRINK UP ME HEARTIES YO HO!
You know what else is pretty cool?
Buying me new sea-shanty track on Itunes!
Or y'know! Any other music purchasing platform that ISN'T annoying garbage!
So she's violent, disturbance of the peace?
...
Yeah I can agree with that.
I'M SORRY!? WHAT EXACTLY IS YOUR DEFINITION OF A WIN!?
DO YOU THINK YOU "WON" IN OUR GYM BATTLE!?!
AND DON'T YOU DARE TO PAT YOURSELF ON THE BACK FOR CONTRIBUTING! YOU DIDNOTHING!
A WIN!?!?
YOUR DAD LITERALLY DIED, MELIA!
I LITERALLY DIED!
OUR MAIN GOAL WAS TO RESCUE NIM AND GUESS WHAT? SHE "LITERALLY" DIED!
Ugh...just because Team Xen didn't win and get you, doesn't mean we won either.
At best it was a Pyrrhic victory. And that's only because I came back to fucking life.
Imagine how bad it would be for you all if I stayed dead?
I'm fairly sure the reason they aren't messing with us right now is because they're fucking afraid of me.
Some guy they can never actually beat that keeps coming back to life even after using cutscene powers on him?
I'd be fucking terrified of me too.
I kinda am right now! What the fuck AM I?
We had literally three weeks afterwards to rest. But I guess crybaby Melia wasn't in the "mood".
Oh.
Oh I see your game.
Get her alone in a vulnerable emotional state, eh?
You disgust me, Veronica.
Oh god none taken whatsoever.
Please by all means, fuck right off into the sunset and never come back.
I'm sick of being the god-damn third wheel.
Try fucking back-breaking.
And stop fucking acting like you've been put through a lot. I'VE BEEN DOING THIS SINCE DAY ONE!
YOU LITERALLY ONLY JOINED UP FULLY IN CHAPTER 56! AND BEFORE THAT YOU WERE LITERALLY ON A HOLIDAY AT SOMEONE ELSE'S EXPENSE!
GOD, I HATE EVERYTHING ABOUT YOU!
...
Now there's two definitions to screwing around, Melia...you being you, I can safely assume you mean the "E for everyone" rated screwing around.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
That fucking pause before the "yeah"
I think we all know what kind of "screwing around" Veronica wants to do.
That's funny considering he was reduced to ASH a few chapters ago.
...
It's funny because it rhymes with "rash"
...
It's sophisticated comedy, you guys at home wouldn't get it.
And I've seen a pot calling a kettle black so many times lately that I'm starting to assume the pot is a massive racist.
B-b-b-b-b-bite me, Veronica!
Let me guess "Like a deer in headlights?"
Poor fucking Kanon...everyone thinks he's a deer that's about to be run-over all the time...
My heart might bleed if he wasn't a dirty Meliaphile.
Did nobody else read her diary?
Are you telling me you two actually DON'T read people's personal diaries at the first opportunity presented?
What freaks.
There was a lot of angst and whining, I recall.
Depending on how long ago that past actually was *coughGameCubecough* I could have been a 7-8 year old at the time.
...
But then again, you could still think that "most of my friends don't even exist yet" since I'm decidedly not your friend.
Aw shucks.
You really missed those 6 hours we shared together where I (canonically) barely said a word and we spent most of it running from terrorists through a forest and got attacked by an edgy giant Gyarados?
Aw shucks.
Well to everyone else who believed a two foot spider ate every trace of you, except your suspiciously blood-stained handbag.
Why would there be that amount of blood after being attacked by an electric type after all?
Well whatever I got an Exp.Share out of it so I'm glad it was left behind.
Looking directly at you, you mean.
We all saw your cringy posts about you being depressed on Acebook.
Yikes, am I right?
It's too late, Veronica.
I already told her.
Oh speaking of social media I gotta send Amber that picture of you.
Can I get one of those apologies?
Not because you were gone but because of everything thing else when you came back.
OH thank god!
I walked into your house while I was buying Oran Berries for my Milk business a while ago and your mother was putting on a goat costume.
I ran the fuck out of there as quick as I could and never went back.
I'm just glad she was just doing an Undertale reference and nothing furry-related.
Awww...what a startling contrast from the woman who punched you through the ceiling when we first met.
You'd think I'd forget that, Jan? A woman punching her daughter through a house? I'll never forget.
Extremely so.
I'm also sending that to Amber, along with that photo of your new look that I either took 18 or 50 years ago.
Now should I sign this text with an X or not?
Is that too much?
Would she even get it? Considering she apparently didn't know that inviting a guy back to your room after a party doesn't usually have you two watching the news?
Her naivety was cute though.
I think MY mother's gesture was nicer.
...
Yep. Saying something like that WOULD make a very awkward silence.
...
Should I start singing again?
Now am I actually being asked or is this one of those "Sean stays quiet and silently agrees with the person actually speaking"?
Because I'm not doing that anymore.
Oh fuck me, is that a tale and a half.
How about we also tell you about the FIRST time we met those cultists?
When they teleported their mansion into the Gearan sewer system a week after you were inducted into the Time Police?
You're bad at explaining let me do it.
It had to do with this mostly normal family living inside the Marble Mansion.
Vitus wasn't completely insane, Veronica. His wife was murdered. If someone killed my wife I'd sacrifice them to a heathen god as well.
Shame I wasn't allowed to just tell him it was Gardevoir behind it.
Big massive thing? Has a creepy humanphile Gardevoir roaming the woods near it?
No doubt looking for penises to suck?
They also looked very, very, VERY similar to you.
Well as similar as sprites get. Which usually means the same coloured hair.
But Zetta turned out to be your fucking half Pokemon clone brother so who fucking knows anything at this point?
That's what I said.
No mansion in a remote location with low direct visibility is ever good news.
It's either the home of a cult or a rich serial killer.
And those are usually synonymous so...
He's also somehow half of the ACTUALLY insane Angie.
No clue who the other half is though.
(Well I do now but I missed the special cutscene in the sewer mansion. I'll show it in a dream sequence once we're done with West-Gearan. )
That's debatable.
Maria has something to do with it. Just not sure what exactly.
Your very small brain probably had something to do with it.
I know, right? Ridiculous name.
Well...she came back to undeath with the help of the Soul Stone.
I know, I know. It sounds mental when you try and explain it.
It's why I haven't tried to see a therapist. I'd be locked up pretty quick.
"Captured"
This isn't Yo-kai Watch, Melia. I don't go around capturing ghosts or souls.
That's not going in the Book of Questions because literally nobody will be able to answer that question.
For once, I agree with you.
LAND, HO!
HO'S! PREPARE TO LAND!
THAT MEANS YOU HOS AT HOME TO!
TOGETHER WE'LL PILLAGE THIS CITY OF ALL ITS BOOTY!
Well, I liked the armor. I had other stuff to say, but I either got pulled away or just decided to look at something else enough to completely forget what they were. But I did think of one as I was writing this.
"Well, creating more Super Seans as I call them now was of more a self-preservation thing as I expect them to fight each other first if they ever find me because only one of them has Rose."
You are ABSOLUTELY right about Karrina just being a delay! She WAS attempting to delay you so the God duo could get Melia
Considering the fact that most of the characters seem to descendents of some ancient important person I suspect you (the in-game Sean) might just be related to some ancient king as well. And maybe JUST maybe be able to press your claim to a throne.
Don't click on the spoilers If you haven't finished v12. (If you have finished It,they aren't spoilers)
It is always nice to see more of Sean's rage and suffering.
Is it bad that a part of me is actually hoping that Melia and Venam get together? I mean, that'd take care of all the romantic/sexual tension they've got going on. And I was picturing it involving the two of them going off on their own, where they'd have to deal with each other. (I did enjoy you throwing that bomb at Melia in Part 82, though.)
Well, I guess I'll find out at a later point in this visual novel that sometimes has Pokémon in it!
Well, I liked the armor. I had other stuff to say, but I either got pulled away or just decided to look at something else enough to completely forget what they were. But I did think of one as I was writing this.
"Well, creating more Super Seans as I call them now was of more a self-preservation thing as I expect them to fight each other first if they ever find me because only one of them has Rose."
It repels 99% of women and 0% of actual knives!
"Super Seans"
I like that. "You see, Madame X...You aren't dealing with the average Pokemon trainer anymore. I have risen above and become a legend. The legend that you fear"
Sadly Melia once again steals that dream of mine too at the end of the season.
Maybe I'll get an awakened form in the end as well but it's unlikely.
Aww, I almost wanna pitch in and help you get a new chair. But I'm also stuck paying health insurance and junk, so no can do.
Bad Sean. How dare you make such an obvious camera joke. Shame, shame. :P (And yet I didn't pick on the fart jokes. I'm weird like that. lol)
Even Melia trying to be the cool, tough girl is super annoying. But hey, if you're able to ditch her and Venam, I'm all for that!
And dang, now I wanna go back to Disney and ride Pirates. Thanks, Sean!
Haha it's fine. I swore I wouldn't take money for this when I began years ago as it doesn't seem right. Besides it's mostly down to me being stubborn about "if it's not completely destroyed, don't fix it"
Poo on you then.
Yeah 14+ chapters of fun, sun, horrible injuries and shotgun weddings to psychopaths! It'll be a good laugh for sure!
Never been there! I genuinely thought the song was somewhere in the movies based on the rides
You are ABSOLUTELY right about Karrina just being a delay! She WAS attempting to delay you so the God duo could get Melia
Fuckin' called it.
Although apparently it's SUPER obvious now in the updated versions of the game but I only learned that from these recent comments.
Considering the fact that most of the characters seem to descendents of some ancient important person I suspect you (the in-game Sean) might just be related to some ancient king as well. And maybe JUST maybe be able to press your claim to a throne.
Don't click on the spoilers If you haven't finished v12. (If you have finished It,they aren't spoilers)
It is always nice to see more of Sean's rage and suffering.
Fuckin' called it.
Although apparently it's SUPER obvious now in the updated versions of the game but I only learned that from these recent comments.
Psssshhhhh...you think I need a legitimate claim to take Aevium? I'll do it like all starters of dynasties do it!
With extreme amounts of violence!
As long as Venam isn't actually royalty I might not shoot myself
Also it's very nice to see you turning from the side of evil spoiler guy to a gives a good warning guy.
What a redemption arc!
Is it bad that a part of me is actually hoping that Melia and Venam get together? I mean, that'd take care of all the romantic/sexual tension they've got going on. And I was picturing it involving the two of them going off on their own, where they'd have to deal with each other. (I did enjoy you throwing that bomb at Melia in Part 82, though.)
Well, I guess I'll find out at a later point in this visual novel that sometimes has Pokémon in it!
BUT WHAT WILL THEY DO WITHOUT THE PENUS!?!?
And I'm against it because it will give both of them happy endings with someone they love while my guy won't get shit.
He'll either get a lonely throne or die for good.
We have arrived.
Oh she'll be fiiiiiiine.
Mainly because I can't imagine Melia actually killing someone and the whole Hidden Library quest coming up.
Well it's definitely a lot cleaner than I was expecting with the awful smell that's coming from here.
If there's one thing this region seems to do right it's sewer systems.
...
Wait no I take that back now that I remembered that the Goldenleaf train couldn't run because someone had the bright idea to put the generator in the sewers.
So we're back to this region not being able to do anything right again.
Well yes. The smell gives that away.
Please let it.
She's clearly wrong anyway. My Bean-Eating contest theory is way more plausible.
"Slightly" being the operative word.
I guess we go south(ugh) and see what's in the next room?
Oh.
Well it looks like you were right, Veronica. (Pigs must be flying right now)
I owe you a Coke.
Okay so the massive mutated pile of shit can scream.
Lovely.
Or is it the Great Mighty Poo from Conker's Bad Fur Day?
A game I have never played and never wanted to play?
Like Banjo Kazooie. People were freaking out over them being in Smash when I was all about the Dragon Quest characters and couldn't give two shits about that bear.
Granted I don't play Smash either...
You know if we were smart we'd maybe we'd use our Pokedexes to identify it.
And if we were really smart (like yours truly) we'd see that it's obviously a disfigured Garbodor.
This is what happens when you don't recycle kids.
Your trash comes alive and tries to kill you.
It's probably the stink lines we're seeing.
U-uh right, yes!
*koff* *koff* Ewwww bad smell! No good!
Are you my mummy?
I've got a better question.
Why did you get a gas mask on your sprite and we, the main characters, didn't?
Oh yes and you're doing a smashing job of that.
Just smashing.
Tremendous even.
Aside from the giant walking landfill.
...
Wait no, why would I say that?
Please ELABORATE on the giant walking landfill.
Buddy I have enough trouble getting these dimwits to listen to me, let alone the news.
Yes but we assumed it was fake news like everything else is nowadays.
If he was, do you really think we'd identify ourselves as his friend?
He's just some poor plaything of an ambivalent higher power like the rest of us.
...
For now.
Here I've got a picture of him somewhere...
Here you go. Good ol' Kanon.
Well why are you so fucking blurry today, huh?
And how dare you question me? You don't even have a defined character yet!
FUCK!
God I can't see a fucking thing in these goggles.
You guys at home might not realise but I have to flip them over and get real close to see what the fuck I'm reacting to.
World's just a big blue blur right now.
Anyway...
That's the one.
His parents must have hated him enough to give him a Japanese girls name.
And more importantly the massive explosive he was carrying?
"Taken by the Beast"
Sounds like Kanon's starring in a trashy romance novels for sad single women.
Okay I googled it and I was actually right on the money.
There is a book by that exact name about fucking a werewolf.
Jesus Christ I hate the world.
Yeah! We don't love it enough to do that! SO YOU'VE GOT NO MOTIVE, PAL!
I'LL SEE YOU IN COURT!
I'm gonna go ahead and put the blame on Melia.
Not just because that's what I always do when I don't know what's going on but out of the three of us she's the one with the so-called angelic voice.
And that she's always being chased by some creepy thing or another.
And yes, that also means you, Veronica.
That's almost a normal name! Congratulations!
Also prepare to be destroyed in two chapters.
Jesus. How lonely do you have to be that SAKI of all people is your best friend?
So you're the substitute...to the substitute?
Our battle should be a cakewalk then.
Wish it was fucking bigger so I could put more distance between myself and you clowns.
That'll be a short conversation.
The only friends these guys know I have are Aelita and Amber.
And Amber doesn't like either of them much and Venam's never even met Aelita.
Something I truly hope this game keeps up.
I really don't want them being friends.
That's why I'm here.
God knows you people can't do anything properly without me.
Do we really want him back though?
I'm not exactly super-invested in adding yet another Meliaphile to our group.
Which is still called the Sean Squad no matter what they say.
Wait, why?
And is it going to be me? Because I will literally jump at the chance to put a body of sewer water between me and these two.
Okay.
Shiny Electivire.
Guess the next gym is electric.
I think I've got a few Ground types I can use.
I can brush the dust of my Piloswine and evolve him too. He'd be useful.
Why'd he send that bundle of bolts out anyway?
Is it going to use its extendable cables to pick one of us up and bring us over?
Can't exactly recommended being pulled over a body of water by electrical cables though.
Oh okay never mind. It's jumping over.
Don't think it can do that but honestly that's a very small complaint compared to everything else in my miserable life.
And so Electivire threw Melia out of the game forever becoming Sean's best friend in the process.
And she's back.
Woo.
JESUS ERICK! HOW COULD YOU ALMOST HARM A HAIR ON THAT DELICATE ANGEL'S HEAD!??!?!
IMAGINE WHAT LIFE WOULD BE LIKE IF SHE WASN'T AROUND ANYMORE?
And yet I bet it won't know Vital Throw when we battle.
It'll just be the same as usual, a Smogon moveset with an added OP move on a field that favours you.
--
And as usual that will mean nothing before my awesome might/Haxorus.
Jan making a bold statement there against anyone who took online courses because they had to take care of their dying mother.
What a monster.
"AND IT MEANS THAT NOW I HAVE THE MELIA! NEXT STOP WORLD DOMINATION SOMEHOW!"
Hello, I'm Venam and this is...
A really bad joke, I'm sorry.
"Just so we can pretend you're actually doing something of value so Sean can't be as mad when you inevitably call this a "team effort", okay?"
Just gonna go ahead an not bother reacting to any of that dialogue.
Sometimes I just don't fucking care about anything.
Except taking these fucking things off. I'd like to have SOME idea what I'm doing after all.
Instead of seeing the world through a blue and foggy with my eye steam or whatever's causing that lens.
I dunno man.
That plant behind me is oddly attractive...
Well not that oddly. It's the only thing in this photo I COULD be attracted to.
Instead of in nearby offices monitoring the equipment through computers, like any workplace not aiming for a lawsuit would do?
Yes, because Veronica is the one always saying rude things about you.
Not Sean, noooo he's an angel.
I...I don't know? It's kind of a AOE attack?
And why are you suddenly getting lines in this?
Are you going to die a "tragic" death in a cheap way to make you more lovable sometime soon?
Hmmm...wise if cowardly words.
Although I'm probably not the best person to understand that with the whole immortal thing.
You are.
By me.
And them.
And Jesus.
Hopefully this isn't a plan you made up. Those usually end horrendously.
Hahaha good one!
Also if you try to throw me at that walking turd factory I'm going to break your neck.
...
And I don't think Erick knows about the "Code Sean" protocol yet. He's only just been introduced.
Corner it, murder it. Got it..
Lethally knock it out, got it.
Why don't we want to destroy this thing? It's knocked out a whole city and can't seem to control its stench.
Is this going to be like that fucking Carnivine where I get judged for doing the pragmatic thing again?
I'm gonna aim for the throat.
You see how I'm holding the sideways now? That means I'm going for a killshot.
...
Although this is assuming it still has or ever had a throat for me to shoot...
I don't know how the biology of a living trashbag works, okay?
Consider my guard lowered immensely.
Wait, so why do we even need Melia watching the cameras?
...
There's very little to make fun of here.
Also I'm just gonna go check what team I have.
It's been so very long since I had to ACTUALLY had use them to battle after all.
Yeah, I think this'll be good enough to take down a gallivanting garbage dump.
Vahlen should be able to take it down in a few Psycho Cuts.
--
It's like you BUT on the outside!
Or the...inside?
Look you're gross, okay?
Awwww...maybe it just wants a hug?
I nominate Veronica to hug it.
Jesus Veronica, I just wanted to kill it, not hurt its feelings.
How could you be so cruel to this ugly sack of shit who's own mother threw up the second it was born?
Awww you see? That hideous hunchback of Nostril Damn (heh) ran off crying because of what you said!
Can't you tell it's self conscious because of both its looks and smell?
Although I personally still can't tell what it smells like.
Besides, in the trashbag dating scene wouldn't the super-strong smell make him or her more desirable? Why would it be self-conscious?
...
Assuming there is a trashbag dating scene that is.
...
...
I've seen how you look at the pedal bin, you whore...
Can't fool me!
"Said Venam, seconds after harassing one of god's most noblest of creatures.'"
Truly you have earned that lab coat and swirly glasses.
Yeah, yeah don't get your PhD in a knot.
And after begging me to get rid of the Garbodor, his colleagues still think it's a good idea to waste time with a inconsequential battle.
Definite lack of worker synergy in this place.
Trust me I'm a master at using buzzwords.
"Adaptive" "facilitator" "Et cetera"
My brother from another mother right here.
--
Oh fuck. These motherfuckers are actually using Battle Items now?
AND IT'S ATTACK STAT INCREASED SHARPLY?! HOW LONG HAS THAT BEEN A THING!?
Ugh fucking Gen 7 at it again with the changes...
Although I suppose it actually justifies them existing now.
They were kinda pointless before with only one stage boosts.
If ONLY using them mattered at all in this fight, then I'd be at least slightly impressed.
Wow that was...easy? I honestly expected more from a Metagross and the Scoliosis bug.
I don't think you can though.
Someone as shit at battling as you must be at least half sewage himself.
Well it's what you get for having such large and unprotected sewage pipes just hanging off the side of the city.
Something's bound to crawl in and start mucking up the place.
This journey wouldn't be a fraction as long if that tool up ahead wasn't standing in the way.
I hate him and will pray for his death regularly.
And because of that fucker I now have to jump onto these platforms that don't seem to serve any actual purpose.
THEY COULD HAVE LITERALLY JUST MADE A STRAIGHT BRIDGE ACROSS!
But no. We need some classic "WA-HOO MAMMA MIA LUIGI!" platforming gameplay.
Because that's what Pokemon's popular for.
The platforming
We're skipping past this because I can't make fun of anything here.
Maybe I'm just tired?
Yeah I'll go to bed and start writing again in the morning.
Mnnngh...okay I'm back after a three hour nap
Don't feel very rested considering I don't normally sleep like that but whatevs.
Looks like I'll have to go around again to get that TM...
Nice. I can use this to finally evolve Zolt.
Apparently there's a power station here when you take Magneton or Nosepass to evolve them.
...
How did I know that during a blind run?
Errr...how about you don't ask so many questions, hypothetical viewer?
Ugh...the effort in getting that TM...
I'll come back for it.
Also I knew how to evolve Zolt because I play this blind.
Just in case some maniac thinks I write these in real-time as I play the game.
...!
I just felt the coldest chill down my spine.
Like I was being watched by some evil being from beyond all human reasoning...
Oh Veronica, it's you.
And I agree with your exasperation.
That "puzzle" seems like it'd interfere with a lot of work here.
Wait, those fuckers are even battling you? Right after I've defeated them?
Christ are they secretly working FOR the Garbodor instead of the city? ARE THEY THE REAL MASTERMINDS BEHIND THIS?!?
Against THOSE same-faced losers? Not a chance.
And I'm insulted you think they would be.
Only people with unique faces like you and me could ever harm one of my darlings.
Well technically Bombardier got poisoned but didn't take any damage from it.
He would have but Gamefreak decided to be a bunch of pussies and remove Poison K.O-ing your Pokemon outside of battle.
I suppose it was a poor choice of words considering.
Sorry.
Wow, that's a surprising change of pace since you've killed two of them before.
When we were on the same side.
You're like a serial killer who killed two of my family members but puts a bandage on a third.
Strange and confusing.
Veronica, he was just lightly poisoned. It's not like he was missing a limb or something.
Don't pretend I owe you.
If in doubt, Veronica, always follow your nose!
Or the ungodly moans.
The ungodly moans work too.
Well I would...but you were the one to suggest it so I won't.
I'm stubborn like that.
Besides I should get that TM on the off-chance Jan decided to actually give us a good one.
My hopes aren't very high though.
I still have two copies of fucking Quash in my bag and that angers me.
No?
I'm not fucking stupid.
You know those all those items are doing right now is giving me a free opening move, right?
Oof. That's a great summation of the Geara segments of this game.
"It doesn't matter if you beat me, nothing will change"
Oh fuck.
Glad I came back and got this now.
I should teach this to Rose...she's actually extremely weak to Fairy types.
Mainly because she has no moves that can touch them. But to be fair she nukes pretty much everything else.
Now back to the main mission.
...
Huh.
I look startlingly handsome in this reflection.
...
Oh right.
The Nuzlocke.
Should probably continue that.
Ah there's that shithead!
Oh and look! Garbodor here too!
And with nothing but mean words.
But that shouldn't be surprising, mean words are my speciality.
Maybe because we're two really loving people and it picked up on that?
Okay maybe not.
It's afraid. It can sense my power.
It knows that if it crosses me I will destroy it.
Also I've got a whole lotta bleach in my bag ready and waiting to obliterate this beast.
Just don't ask why I have this much bleach.
...
It's to drink. I have problems
The biggest problem being that I bought all this bleach BEFORE I learnt I was immortal.
So yeah. The Sham-Wow Sean-suffering spree ain't never gonna end.
I know, right?
The amount of money wasted...
Maybe I should re-brand my old milk company into selling bleach?
Derogatory Brand Bleach: "Actually safer to drink than our milk"
Melia, respond. Over.
Breathing into the mic doesn't count as a response, you fucking creeper. Over.
...
Yo bitch! What's wrong with you!?
Over.
Wait, you responded to "Yo bitch"?
I'd say we should talk about your self-esteem issues but first we've got to deal with a little trash problem first.
Whoa, Melia! That's a pretty drastic change from the earlier plan!
OH WAIT NO IT FUCKING ISN'T!
Stop wasting your, as Kanon would probably say, "angelic breath" on reaffirming the worlds simplest plan like we're a bunch of toddlers and let me get to work.
Unless it has a trainer.
Then we're fucked.
We could appease the beast with virgin sacrifices?
See! It likes the sound of that!
Alright Veronica, time to actually be of use for once!
I swear if that thing starts singing the Globglogabgalab song I am going to smash that orb myself.
O-oi! I was kidding about the virgin sacrifice, you collection of crap!
I already watched the Globglogabgalab video today I don't want to see any more horrors thanks!
HEY WHAT THE FUCK
I'M NOT A VIRGIN! I'VE GOT MY SEX MEMBERSHIP CARD RIGHT HERE!
SEE! LEGAL PROOF!
I mean I can't fault your tastes for picking me over Veronica but c'mon!
Also Dimensional what-now?
This things a fucking Rift Pokemon?
WAS THERE ANY POINT IN GETTING RID OF ZETTA!? THESE THINGS ARE STILL HANGING AROUND!
Perhaps it's an anomaly like that Chandelure?
That was only possible because it was a Ghost though...right? I dunno. That Grunt Manny said Zetta had no idea it was there...
Oh it's a girl.
Well that explains it being more attracted to me.
There aren't any gay Pokemon after all.
No matter how hard those Pokephiles wish there were.
And that's not me hating on them for being gay. It's the second part that I find truly deplorable.
Huh, it's a shiny?
I didn't know there was a chance that these things could be shiny.
Hmmm...
"Is react"
Thankfully it's not react-ING or else we'd be in a right pickl-
...
Fiddlesticks.
Although perhaps "Shit." would be a more appropriate exclamation of displeasure give the composition of the enemy?
...
Christ I sound like I'm from the Big Bang theory.
All that's missing is the audience laugh track and we've got "comedy"
Okay, Bombardier. Let's throw this sludge sucker into the incinerator and be done with it!
Oh wow, the move is actually animated!
...
Oh no.
OH GOD IT BUUUUURRRRNNNNNS!
...
HUUUUUUURRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!
Yeah okay. Maybe Bombadier wasn't such a great match up.
But Vahlen here eats chumps like you for breakfast.
It's...it's just an expression, Vahlen.
Could you stop flaunting on your (astoundingly inaccurate) superiority complex and start battling already?
Oh just hit the thing you, aggravating alien who isn't even an alien I think!
Wat.
Ah.
So it's a Poison/Dark type, huh?
I hate this thing.
OH GOD IT'S IN MY NOSTRILS! I SMELL IT NOW!
WHY DID I TAKE OFF MY GOGGLES!!?!?
Okay, the bad news is that this fetid freakshow is immune to Psychic attacks.
Subarashi.
But the good news is...uh...
Non-existant...
Well I did come up with fetid freakshow as an insult? That was pretty clever in my opinio-
BLELELAUGUHUUGUHGHGHGHH!
FUCK IT VAHLEN!
YOU EITHER HYPNOTISE IT OR YOU'RE DEAD!
I DON'T CARE! I AM NOT HAVING ANY MORE FUCKING SEWAGE POURED ON ME TODAY!
THAAAAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO SEE!
YEP!
Think of it as your official welcome to this loving family of misfits and legitimate dangers to society.
Well actually do something impressive instead of landing a status effect and you might get a sliver of the love I shower Rose with everyday!
That's something to aim for!
Now the smart thing to do here would be to switch in Rose and Swords Dance/Outrage it to death.
But of course even geniuses like myself have momentary lapses in judgement.
That lapse in judgement being using Superpower three times thinking it would actually make a difference.
But no.
This thing is most likely built defensively.
And it also knows Recover.
Aaaaggghhhh...
*Sigh*
WELP.
Vahlen's no longer able to battle.
And I better get her out of there before she's no longer able to breathe.
Well luckily for your Pokemon healthcare is basically magic.
Pop you in a machine and you're healed of all non-fatal injuries.
Don't know why humans don't have those yet though.
THAT SHE DOES!
God even if Mold Breaker is never that useful most of the time, I still like the game confirming that Rosie's the best there ever was.
Here we gooo!
OKAY THAT'S DECIDEDLY LESS PATHETIC.
Ugh...a few Full Restores would be super handy in this fight...
Unfortunately the stores won't sell them to me yet, the fuckers.
But luckily that was it's tenth Sludge Wave.
(Because there was a bunch of turns that I skipped where I was trapped in an endless cycle of healing Rose and getting covered in shit water.)
So all it's got left are Giga Drain, Recover and a secret fourth move.
And I'm guessing that secret move won't do shit against Rose.
Or else it'd be using it instead of fucking Giga Drain of all things.
And now to end this just like we've done so many other battles...
WITH A BIG OL' OUTRAGE TO THE FUCKING FACE!
...
Wow. I'm actually more impressed than I am annoyed.
I think that's literally the only creature that has survived a Swords Dance boosted Outrage from Rose so far.
How tanky is this thing?
Well I'm sure I'll pick up one of those Rift Dex things later and it'll tell me.
And another rampaging rift bites the dust.
Why the fuck is no-one else able to deal with these things?
Thanks for not jumping in to help you guys. I REALLY appreciate you giving this thing a fighting chance.
You fucking assholes...
I know. I was surprised too.
I thought it was just a regular mutant freak. Not a Dimensional one!
Also it's over there. Stop looking at me.
Fucking hideous?
...
Veronica, I know I'm gorgeous and all but just because Melia's not here doesn't mean you can start ogling me instead.
Control your hormones goddammit!
Aren't you a super clever girl for figuring that out?! Where, o where, would we be without your intelligence?
You deserve another star on the board!
Theeere we go.
She's lost it, Veronica.
We might as well put her down now.
There was a Garbodor in those sewers?
Was that before I got there?
Okay I had to actually go back and look because that encounter completely slipped my mind.
But in my defence...why the fuck would I bother remembering that?
It kinda got overshadowed by pretty much everything else that happened.
Hell that was the chapter I first got introduced to Melia! No wonder I repressed it!
YEAH! This is the WEST sewers. How could a sludge monster travel from EAST to WEST!?
Clearly that's fucking impossible.
Well apparently now that Zetta's gone, I guess Team Xen are just somehow randomly infecting Pokemon with Dimensional Fever or whatever the hell corrupts these things.
...
Shit that's a pretty good terror plot for them to do right there...
OKAY. Nobody leak that idea to Team Xen alright? Because I don't want to be running around the entire region putting out Dimensional fires because you lot couldn't keep your mouths shut!
That absolutely did not happen in ANY fucking shape or form.
I was the one who stopped the Rift in no small part to my Vivillion, Cybus, landing a crucial Stun Spore slowing it down enough for the others to kill it.
That fucking abomination in front of us did nothing whatsoever.
THANK YOU ME. I'M GLAD YOU FINALLY DECIDED TO START TALKING NOW OF ALL TIMES!!
WE'VE GOT TO MAKE A STAND AGAINST THIS BULLSHIT!
I never saw it there.
Last place I saw it was skulking away after I beat the shit out of it with Ren.
An encounter I completely fucking forgot, by the way!
I hope it fucking hurt.
Now that you're trying to place this shit-eating beast as the hero of that day I feel nothing but malice towards it.
Taking credit for my victory is one of the many sure-fire way to piss me off. Along with claiming things as "team victories" when I do literally all of the work and forcing me to join any group against my will whatsoever.
So yeah those of you who've played this game already can pretty much assume how the whole Bladestar thing is going to go down.
Insert knife into back.
So long ago that I'd literally forgotten about it.
Veronica actually asking the right questions for once.
There isn't a single chance in fucking heaven and hell that this thing could have gone undetected for so long when it stinks bad enough to take out an entire city.
Cheers, Jan.
Guess THAT'S never going to come up again.
No, it's because of your half-Pokemon brother/clone Mel.
I don't want to agree with that correct statement because it's reassuring to Melia.
And fuck her anyway for suggesting this lump of litter saved me.
Uh...why is it melting?
Could my simmering rage have finally developed into the heat vision like I always wanted?
OH FUCK HEAT VISION OFF! HEAT VISION OFF!
Did it...eat Kanon?
Christ...this got pretty dark.
Did Spacea send him here to bump him off for fraternising with Madame X?
Ah yes as you've said, he was "taken by the beast"?
You're using an awful lot of unclear language when talking about him being taken.
So did it eat him or molest him? Which one is it?
I bet we're going to get some bullshit like it "sensed the danger" and add another fake notch to its heroism belt.
Ugh...that's a pain in the ass.
Okay one of you amateurs can have my sloppy seconds.
I'm on break.
Spider-Sludge, Spider-Sludge, don't mistake him for fudge~
Poisons wells, of any size,
Melts your skin and your eyes~
Watch out, here comes the Spider-sludge~
Is it gross? Listen buds, you'll need to wash your eyes out with suds~
Can it stink up the world? Stop the song, I've just hurled~
Heyyyy theeeerrreee, there goes the Spider Sludge!
In the chiiiilllll of night, as I struggle to rhyme,
Like a streeeeaaakkk of shite, he arrives just in slime!
In my experience at least the game gets WAY more enjoyable once Terajuma + the "Back to the past" stuff is over.
BTW remember that guy who gave you Emotion Powder when you entered Valor Mountain? Probably not. But go read that chapter,you will see him in the beginning.
He becomes somewhat important later on! In v12....
The spoiler isn't a spoiler If you finished v12.
Reply to your reply ;
Well,you technically don't NEED a claim, It would probably make the people accept your rule easier.
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