Screenshot Fan Game Mature Commentary The Terribly-Titled Nuzlocke of Pokemon Rejuvenation: Part 3: Chapter 148 - Deus Ex Melia

[Derogatory Trainer]

Hello there!

Some of you might know me already and some might not but I'll introduce myself anyway.

I'm the Derogatory Trainer and I'm doing another blind Nuzlocke!

It also has an uncreative title like the other one...

Welcome to...

POKEMON REJUVENATION, BABY!

Anyway for those who don't know, Pokemon Rejuvenation was created by SuperJanBro and is inspired by the other fan game I play, Pokemon Reborn.

Like Reborn this game isn't a Rom hack but was created from scratch by the creator.

Props to them for that.

Look at this beautiful info on them...

Pokemon Rejuvenation is still unfinished as of now but there is already loads of content and fun already available in game.

I think there's 8 badges available now?

Around that anyway.

Anyway I'm going to pop the rules down below me here along with the table of contents and a short prologue of the game

There are a lot of green bars on this opening post huh?

Spoiler: The Rules

Not going to be many of them. Standard Nuzlocke affair.

1) Any Pokemon that faints is considered dead and is no longer usable in battle.

2) I can only catch the first Pokemon I meet in an area.

3) Event Pokemon do not count towards that but I will ignore some of them.

4) I won't breed perfect killing machines either. Both because I need a 4th rule and because that's the most tedious thing imaginable.

5) If I lose, that's it. Run's over and I'm dead.
(a) Due to recent plot revealations this rule is somewhat hard to achieve. But whatever. It's not like I would lose anyway.

6) Again I ask for your credit card details because I love beating this joke to death.

Spoiler: Table of Contents:

Spoiler: Part 1 - Phantump Blood

Chapter 1 - Crusing for a Bruising
Chapter 2 - A Rose By Any Other Name
Chapter 3 - Gearen' up
Chapter 4 - What a Load of Trubbish
Chapter 5 - World's Strongest Cat
Chapter 6 - Forest Friends...for now.
Chapter 7 - Gotta Snag 'Em All
Chapter 8 - Hell in a Handbasket
Chapter 9 - The Hidden Library
Chapter 10 - A Little Drop of Poison (Poison Gym Battle)
Chapter 11 - The Nimpossible Girl
Chapter 12 - Does Whatever a Spider Can
Chapter 13 - Just Scopin' Soul Stones
Chapter 14 - Hidden Library 2 : Eclectic Boogaloo
Chapter 15 - Before the Battle of the Fist...(Fighting Gym Battle?)
Chapter 16 - It's Getting Hot in Here (So Hot)
Chapter 17 - Cheater, Cheater, Status Eater
Chapter 18 - Comes the Battle of the Mind (True Fighting Gym Battle)
Chapter 19 - Corta Forest Con-Man
Chapter 20 - Rude Rivals on Route 3
Chapter 21 - There Are No Strings On Me (Normal Gym Battle)
Chapter 22 - The Friendliest Town in the World
Chapter 23 - Rabble Rousing
Chapter 24 - In Geara's Laboratory
Chapter 25 - Fighting Fit!
Chapter 26 - The Ghost is Here (Ghost Gym Battle)
Chapter 27 - Filler Phantump of the Opera
Chapter 28 - Dark Wings, Dark Words
Chapter 29 - I Want to Break Free
Chapter 30 - Shitty People in BlackSteeple
Chapter 31 - The Green Milotic
Chapter 32 - Emmazing Disgrace
Chapter 33 - Lampshade Hanging
Chapter 34 - Reunited (And it Feels So Good)
Final Chapter - X Gon' Give It To Ya, X Gon' Deliver To Ya

Quick Video Summary of the Deaths during Part One.

Spoiler: Part 2 - Battle Tentacool

Chapter 36 - Dead Girl Walkin'
Chapter 37 - Can someone RENch this knife out of my back?
Chapter 38 - Water's in Order (Water Gym Battle)
Chapter 39 - Dimensional Shit
Chapter 40 - Friendship is Tragic
Chapter 41 - The Pinnacle of Pokemon Perfection
Chapter 42 - Attack of the Clones
Chapter 43 - Noise Pollution
Chapter 44 - De-Caf
Chapter 45 - Alone Again (Naturally)
Chapter 46 - Tropius in Trouble!!! Who gives a shit!?'
Chapter 47 - Assholes Anonymous
Chapter 48 - Renning in the 90's
Chapter 49 - A Bug's Death (Bug Gym Battle)
Chapter 50 - Shark Tale starring Saki Blakeory
Chapter 51 - Hen-Pecked Hero
Chapter 52 - Resorting to Violence
Chapter 53 - Mom's Spaghetti
Chapter 54 - My Glacial Gal
Chapter 55 - A Cold Reception
Chapter 56 - A Song of Ass and Kicking (Ice Gym Battle)
Chapter 57 - Down with the Sickness
Chapter 58 - Kung Fool Fightin'
Chapter 59 - Jaunt to the Center of the Earth
Chapter 60 - Dug Too Deep
Chapter 61 - Short and Sour
Chapter 62 - Don't Marry this Lighthouse Keeper
Chapter 63 - Cease and Desist, Anti-Assist!
Chapter 64 - The X-COM Project
Chapter 65 - Pokemon Mun and Soon
Chapter 66 - Lingering Regret
Chapter 67 - Evolution's the Solution and I'm Gonna Win!
Chapter 68 - Ain't No Mountain High Enough
Chapter 69 - Ain't No Valley Low Enough
Chapter 70 - Ain't No River Wide Enough
Part 2 Finale - To Keep Me From Getting to You, Baby

Spoiler: Part 3 - Starmie Crusaders

Chapter 72 - Rejuvenation!
Chapter 73 - Crescent Explains "Everything"
Chapter 74 - An ACTUAL Disco Inferno (Fire Gym Battle)
Chapter 75 - Friends Without Benefits
Chapter 76 - Step Back in Time
Chapter 77 - Storm Chasers: Infinity War
Chapter 78 - Somebody Strangle this Love Triangle
Chapter 79 - The Absolute Pinnacle of Mental Retardation
Chapter 80 - Family Unfriendly
Chapter 81 - Cult's in the Cradle and the Silver Spoon...
Chapter 82 - Bomb's Away
Chapter 83 - The Third Wheel Trainer
Chapter 84 - Stank Tank
Chapter 85 - No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
Chapter 86 - You've been...Thunderstruck! (Electric Gym Battle)
Chapter 87 - West Side Story
Chapter 88 - My Teenage Robot Life
Chapter 89 - My Big Fat Garufan Wedding
Chapter 90 - Into the Unown
Chapter 91 - Derogatory Trainer's: A Series of Forgettable Events
Chapter 92 - Darren Jan's: The Demonata
Chapter 93 - The Double-Cross Trainer
Chapter 94 - Cringe Compilation
Chapter 95 - Back Track Attack
Chapter 96 - Hatch'Em, Hatch'Em, Gotta Hatch'Em All
Chapter 97 - The Lost and the Forgotten
Chapter 98 - The Legend of Griselda: A Link to the Past
Chapter 99 - Oceans Rise, Empires Fall
Chapter 100 - Maman of Green Gables
Chapter 101 - The Final Filler (For Now)
Chapter 102 - (Attempted) Murder on the Grand Dream Express
Chapter 103 - Really Useless Engine
Chapter 104 - In Brightest Day, In Darchest Night...
Chapter 105 - The Darchest Dungeon
Chapter 106 - Grass, Grass, Grass! I Wanna Step On The Grass! (GEE I WONDER Gym Battle)
Chapter 107 - Can I Get A Wott, Wott?
Chapter 108 - A Darch and Spooky Night
Chapter 109 - Where Dreams Come to Die
Chapter 110 - Tournament Farce
Chapter 111 - Gallivanting About Grand Dream City
Chapter 112 - F is for Friends who do Stuff Together
Chapter 113 - Show Stopper
Chapter 114 - More Questions, Even Less Answers
Chapter 115 - Every Authority Figure is Evil
Chapter 116 - Battle for the Blue Ribbon
Chapter 117 - The Best Laid Plans of 'Mon and Men.
Chapter 118 - Return to Sender
Chapter 119 - Loss.png
Chapter 120 - Don't You (Forget About Me)
Chapter 121 - Muppet Master (Psychic Gym Battle)
Chapter 122 - Exorcism Schism
Chapter 123 - Derogatory's Delivery Service!
Chapter 124 - My Nazi Academia
Chapter 125 - The District of Hopium and Copium
Chapter 126 - All the Time in the World
Chapter 127 - Gathering Geishas
Chapter 128 - Kim-OH-DEAR-GOD-No!
Chapter 129 - ACAU (All Cops Are Useless)
Chapter 130 - The Reject District
Chapter 131 - Eye Spy
Chapter 132 - Domo Arigato, Little Miss Roboto
Chapter 133 - DTV's Pimp My Crib
Chapter 134 - Coming to the Rescue (Get There in a Hurry!)
Chapter 135 - Canonically Classified
Chapter 136 - This Cave is Darch and Full of Terrors
Chapter 137 - Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, I made you out of PAIN.
Chapter 138 - Derogatory Trainer's "Day Off"
Chapter 139 - Kono Deo Da!
Chapter 140 - The Merits of Genocide
Chapter 141 - Shit Happens
Chapter 142 - Days of Future Past
Chapter 143 - Slice of Life on the Seven Seas
Chapter 144 - Hush, My Darling. Don't Fear, My Darling.
Chapter 145 - Yar Har Fiddle Dee Dee! Being a Pirate is Alright with Me!
Chapter 146 - Do What You Want 'Cause a Pirate is Free. You Are a Pirate!
Chapter 147 - Much Ado About Nothing
Chapter 148 - Deus Ex Melia



The Big Moment

Right.

Rules out of the way. Let's watch the prologue then shall we?

Hope you enjoy the game!

'Cause I know I will.

What a naive baby boy I was back then...

Also Jesus Christ do I regret that hairdo...

This entire run will be composed of hair-cuts I regret immensely so I guess you all better get used to it.

Spoiler: Prologue (Now obsolete)

Oh I guess this is a flashback.

If not we're going to be playing this for a looooong time.

Apparently I'm not in the prologue so there won't be any reactions.

My character wasn't even born yet...maybe.

Depending on how MANY decades ago this was.

So we're following this little girl off to see her father.

How sweet.

This place has seen better days anyway...

The ground is shaking...is this place under attack?

Oh fuck me.

Nothing good ever comes from people with Arceus statues.

Goddamn deer cultists...

This little girl is screwed.

OH SO SCREWED!

The slut.

Oh well as long as you're SORRY about sacrificing people to Arceus I guess it's okay!

Horribly indoctrinated but thoughtful nonetheless.

OH FUCK.

WHO CARES?

RUN LITTLE GIRL RUN!

She listened to Evanesence a lot I take it?

Uhhh kid?

If you know any kung-fu now would be a GREAT time to use it!

This is an anime-ish game after all! Children learning martial arts might actually be able to fight here!

Well that didn't work.

Fuck that!

Kick and scream till you go blue, kid!

And this is where I come in and save the day, right?

Any minute now...

Well shit.

 

[Bookwormgal]

Well, you're going to apparently be working on another one of these things at the same time. The prologue certainly sets the mood. Be on guard against insanity.

 

[Drymus]

I have one response to your choice of game this time around: Yes.

 

[Alice ZK]

Any game that starts with an Absol is without a doubt a great game. This one is new to me, so I'm thrilled to discover it, thanks for the selection! Also, Arceus sect? Delightful.

 

[Erberor]

Nice, it starts with a shot of Absol.

The disaster Pokemon.

I'm interested to see how this differs from Reborn, particularly considering how so many of Reborn's characters were so...grating...

Good luck.

 

[wedward45]

Woohoo, another game for you to rage at! You know, just in case you get bored of flipping your shit at reborn and snakewood. That intro certainly left a good impression, but I'd still go in heavily armed. Just in case.

 

[Vivace]

Hey, a reactionlocke! I haven't seen one of these since Macktavious. +1, la!

 

[MarineHaddock]

Your timing couldn't be more perfect I was just looking for playthroughs of this.

 

[BeyondTheFail]

Welp. This thing. Prepare for more disappointment and stupid level curves! ...screw this game. It's so damn easy to get lost here. Venam's alright, though.

 

[Derogatory Trainer]

Spoiler: Chapter 1 - Cruisin' for a Bruisin'

Oh does it now?

Hopefully getting to choose won't require me to beat the entire game first.

*COUGH*BLACK 2*COUGH*

Uh-oh.

Well I'm not stupid enough to attempt a Nuzlocke on Hardcore mode and I'm not a filthy casual...

So I'll go with Normal or "Reborn Style".

It's already going to be challenging enough without artificially boosting the enemies with EVs and bullshit movesets.

Plus I'd like to have a chance of actually completing the run at some point.

Regi-wha?

Never heard of that member of the trio before.

What's going on here?

Uh...yes?

The hell is this?

GAH!

Okay...so you're not the Pokemon Professor then?

Guess they do things different in this region.

Hopefully that means I won't be squashed down into a midget form like in the other games.

Yeah why not?

When has history ever hurt anyone?

Oh.

That's what they all say.

I bet the starting grass only has Poochyena and Pidoves.

If you really wanted to show variety you should slap a few Rhyhorn and Tauros in.

No.

Not at all.

But it sounds like a rip-off of the much more popular Digimon if you ask me.

Or what's that other thing that came out a few years ago?

Yo-kai Watch?

Fighting solves all problems, kids.

If your teacher gives you homework? Fight 'em.

If your dog barks too loud at night? Fight 'em.

If your wizened grandmother needs you to help her across the street?

...

I think you know what to do.

Ugh.

Bureaucracy has even affected Pokemon battling?

We live in a society, boys and girls.

I'll pass on that.

I prefer to fumble my way through the controls myself.

Eighteen badges?

Well...

Hope you're ready for a loooong fucking series folks.

I saw a picture of that actually.

Apparently it replaces the Run button during Trainer battles?

No idea what it does though...boost evasion or accuracy maybe?

NARRATOR: Little did our hero know, this would set a very, very dark precedent of nobody ever explaining anything fully to him.

Dudliest of Dudes right here, lady.

You may fucking not.

...

Honestly after saying that I was sorely tempted to pull a Silver and write ??? on my Trainer card.

That's my name, don't wear it out!

Huzzah!

I'm sure I will never come to regret this decision!

Oh I'm on a boat this time?

That's different.

Still waiting for the fan-game that has the player arriving by plane though.

Or y'know, I'll fail miserably and have to leave the internet in shame.

...

Ah well enough pessimism! It's time to start the show!

With our very special guest...TITLE CARD!

Might as well start this off with an appropriate song...

Spoiler: Spoiler

Spoiler: Spoiler

@Bookwormgal - Hahaha my sanity was dead long ago. We have Snakewood to thank for that...

@Drymus - Indeed.

@Alice ZK - There is nothing delightful about Arceus fanboys...I'm always dealing with their shit.

@Erberor - We gon' die. No one's annoyed extremely me so far...

@wedward45 - Maybe this will be just a nice calm relaxing game? Heavily armed...that would have been useful for this chapter...

@KoopaConor - The legend himself...he left for a better place...And hey you can always look at the other Reaction-locke I'm doing?
That's not a request. DO IT.

@MarineHaddock - I think I'm the first to Nuzlocke it on this site anyway. First Reaction-Locke definitely.

@BeyondtheFail - I like getting lost though. Ah well I enjoy difficulty. And no other game could be as aggravating as Snakewood right?

Spoiler: Spoiler

@NickCrash - Oh Gawd Yes.

@YingYang9705 - So far this game has been Calm, Extreme Escalation, Calm and then another Extreme Escalation.

@Shing - It's started of promisingly anyway.

@Anvilicious - I know I will. There's no Radomus or annoying orphans! So far anyway...

@Chubb - You mean the part where legendaries start fucking up my life? What a fun game.

@FairFamily - Normal. I'm not a masochist and nobody else has done a Nuzlocke on it yet so I'm still cool. But Hardcore would destroy me.

@YoshiofRedemption - It'll be tolerable anyways.

Oh I was talking to her on video phone?

Makes me nostalgic for the anime. Those public tv phones in the Pokemon Center always impressed me as a kid.

And nowadays everyone has one.

So THIS is how people get their Trainer Cards.

Usually the player already has one before the game even starts.

...

You sound WAY too into printing those Trainer cards lady.

Bit weird that a cruise liner has a Trainer registration facility in the first place but I ain't complaining.

Any chance to speed bureaucracy along should be taken.

I'm sorry the WHAT said this?

Lady...can you see the dialogue box?

I'm going to ignore that advice and worry about it anyway.

I assumed you could all hear and I was just deaf so the world compensated by giving me text boxes.

...

Also that the creator of this game was too cheap to have voice acting.

But you can't blame him. The canon games don't have that either.

Well I'm first so I'm clearly the best.

And what kind of name is "Aelita" anyway?

Did her parents really want her to be an elite?

Nice to see that Youngsters are still cocky before they even get their Pokemon...

Can't wait to destroy this kid...

I don't think anyone has an email address from when they were 5.

What 5 year old would even need one?

The Boss Baby maybe?

Was this girl the Boss Baby?

Oh hey, I have a mother in this game?

Who wants to bet I don't have a Dad though?

Dehehehehehe~

I like her.

She's completely biased towards me. As all mother's should be!

Sounds good to me.

God I hope you actually are my mother and not some random woman who just called out to me.

I would literally have no way of knowing otherwise.

(Is her hair pink?)

(Man I'm lucky I inherited my missing father's colouring. I don't want to look like a damn anime protagonist)

Yes?

Mother why are you explaining this to me like I'm two and not twenty-two?

Food does sounds good.

Especially after that weird day-dream I had with the evil cult and little blonde girl...

Something about ritual sacrifice just gets the tummy rumbling, you know?

Ew...you want me to consort with these plebeians?

Ehhhhh it's been pretty all right so far.

Could you fill me in on where exactly we left from though?

Or why it was hard?

Ugh...

If you're going to make puns at least make them less awful, Mother.

DON'T BE SO CLINGY, MOM!

Never heard of it kid.

Sounds like it sucks and the Gym leader is a badge welcher though.

...

Isn't that island only populated by a school though?

How DARE you accuse me of such a thing!

Eavesdropping is beneath someone of my standard!

...

...

But...just one little listen couldn't hurt...right?

Do not mind me, citizen!

Just...inspecting the walls here!

And standing on this...shattered glass?

What?

Oh how rebellious of me!

Wow.

My hearing is so good I can visualise the entire room?

Sweet.

Wait a mo, is that mother dearest's voice?

Who's she talking to?

Well whoever she is, she's using french words unnecessarily.

Which means I automatically hate her.

...

Is this lady threatening my momma?

Oh we are going to have some words.

Uh...come again?

Why does this lady threatening my mother want to see me smile?

Kinda creepy.

And I'm being extremely generous when I say "kinda".

It's exceptionally creepy.

So to sum up...this conversation had the word "understand" in it 6 times.

And yet I don't fucking get what it was about.

Uh what?

Why wouldn't my mother love me?

Aside from all the perfectly legitimate reasons anyway...

That just makes me more likely to steal it, lady.

DAMMIT LADY THIS IS AN RPG!

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE OKAY WITH PEOPLE DOING THIS!

...Your computer is what?

That your computer is a heap of shit?

Or that you're a lying heap of shit?

That's what it looks like to me.

"Never wrong" my ass.

Obviously to attract new players to the game.

After all I've played canon Pokemon games for twenty years now and the only shiny I've ever caught was a purple Wurmple in Ruby.

Shame all it's evolution has was dark red wing tips. Very disappointing stuff.

...

I'm getting the feeling the game is trying to warn me about something...

Maybe it's that my character can fly?

Would certainly make getting around easier if I can skip that HM...

Glitches aside we still have this boat to scope out.

Duh.

Eavesdropping is like meth.

You shouldn't do it, but fuck you where's my meth?!

That sounds like a woman changing clothes...

I'd know that sound anywhere.

...

Don't look too deeply into that statement, readers.

Well I don't know about you guys put I definitely heard a woman change clothes and plant some TNT on her table.

My amazing sonar ears tell me so.

Well this boat is fucked.

The foreshadowing is now painfully obvious instead of just obvious.

Not sure where the aliens come in though.

And you never wiiiillllll~

...

Probabllllyyyyy~

Because jobs are lame.

He should buy lottery tickets with his unemployment payments instead.

MUCH more respectable.

Ugh...

You have no idea how active I'd be if Pokemon training was an actual career option.

It'd certainly beat the usual 9-5...

Can you find it boys and girls?

Can you find "THE REFERENCE"?

Was hoping this map would work...give me some insider info into this region...

Oh well. Let's continue playing "Soon to be Sunk Boat Exploring Simulator 2016"

Oh god, it's Matthew McConaughey...

SOMEONE SINK THE BOAT ALREADY!

INTERSTELLAR WAS BORING!

Hmmm.

Haven't checked upstairs yet...

Huh...they have a live piano player...

Wasn't bad.

Of course I don't remember what it sounded like at the time of writing this but I'm sure it was fine.

My flattery skills are unmatched in all the world.

Oh my~

And soon we'll be on the bottom of the ocean!

Yaaaaay!

Yeah I wouldn't be on the computer nearly as much if I had actual Pokemon.

I'd be too busy crushing the hopes and dreams of children.

I'm gonna give this absolute piece of shit a piece of my mind.

...

I instantly forgive you.

Not sure how complimentary a bottle of water is but I'll take what I can get.

Well she did name her Pokemon "Jiggly".

I assume it was after her breasts.

Also how does that sentence even work by the way?

Does it go like : "That pianist is

very endowed?"

Fucking ridiculous.

Well don't mind if I do!

*Ahem*

I'd like to dedicate this song to my old pal, Foreshadowing!

We'll...meet again...

Don't know where...don't know wheeeeennnn~

Oh I know we'll meet again

Some suuuunnyyyy daaaayyy!

GOD DAMMIT PAUL!

ALWAYS FUCKING THINGS UP!

APPARENTLY!

Damn, I am liking this boat so far.

All this free shit and ominous foreshadowing is great.

Well you're clearly biased.

If this were a Scooby Doo game I'd pull of your mask to reveal Old Man Briney underneath.

Apparently the wind is going in circles...

Meh...it's still nice to watch...

Guess this is the captain's quarters?

Good thing I climbed on this chair so I could see that far away!

That's my name, don't wear it out.

...

Sadly, by the end of this run it's going to get so worn out I'll have to change my name.

Maybe I'll call myself Augustus?

Dammit.

Oh it's going great!

People keep giving me free shit and predicting disaster.

If we weren't out to sea I'd put good money on an Absol showing up at some point!

That sucks and all...

But why did you make me come to your desk if you were just going to sit down on the couch?

In a literal sense and old fart would probably bring me down due to how rancid it must be to be called "old".

What?

No way, man. I want to be a dentist.

Training magical creatures is for suckers!

Now if you said a tale or nine, I'd laugh at your attempt at a pun.

But you didn't so I'm edging close to the door.

Please go ahead. The more I know the less likely it is that I'll fuck up terribly.

Odd that I'm receiving this talk from a random ship captain and not Amaria but whatevs.

So bullshit Smogon tier teams with a field effect backing them up?

Sounds...*sigh*...great.

EXCUSE ME ELITE HOW FUCKING MANY??

I KNEW ABOUT THE BADGES BUT NOT ABOUT THAT LITTLE TIDBIT!

WHAT!?!

THE BROCHURE SAID IT WOULD BE A WALK IN THE PARK!

LIKE EVERY 3-D POKEMON GAME SO FAR!

"Every single living person is a member of the evil team and will attack you the second we dock, good luck!"

Ah yeah. Those are more strictly enforced in these kind of regions, aren't they?

I can't just level my Charizard to 70 and steamroll Lance then.

...

Still not getting a good explanation as to why Pokemon respect you by the number of metal pins you have...

You sure you're a captain?

Because I'm pretty sure you only say "Bon voyage" to someone about to set sail...

Aaaaand he's gone.

Look at me, audience.

Look at me.

I am de captain now.

"Bon voyage"

No, this is the only way to push the story forward.

I tried looking around for you and got nothing.

Eager is not a word I'd use to describe me, mother.

I lean more towards "begrudgingly" or "languid".

"Lady"?

She does look like a Lady class trainer.

Maybe she's like the Kalos ones and is actual nobility.

Everyone must call me Lord Sean or Lord Derogatory from now on.

Sorry.

Just opened Bejewelled.

Why?

Yeah...you got a pack of cards handy?

A game of snap might speed him along.

GET OFF THE STAGE!

BOOO!!!

I-is he explaining how to eat?

Cause it sounds like he's explaining how to eat...

The shit to inevitably hit the fan.

Alright! Damn...

Troll?!

QUICKLY WE MUST ALERT TUMBLR TO SAVE US FROM THIS BEAST!

THEIR PROGRESSIVE VIEWS AND CHILD-LIKE TEMPERAMENT WILL SURELY SEE US THROUGH THE DAY!

Oh...a Harry Potter reference?

Shit, maybe tumblr is the one attacking?

We're at sea, lady!

You can reference The Philosopher's Stone all you want but out here on the ocean we call it a brig.

And you're not in the dungeon?

Your joke kinda falls fla-

...

Uh-oh.

Wait, what?

How is she gonna get me out of h-

*pop*

GAH-HAH!

What the fuck just happened?

How did I get in the Captain's quarters?

Oooookay...what the FUCK are those tentacle things???

Well aside from being tentacle things...

Dammit there isn't any time to argue semantics with a...thing attacking the ship!

I've got the find a lifeboat or failing that a large cannon to smite this Kraken!

Well endowed Piano lady, you're okay!

Honestly, I thought the tentacles would home right in on a melon chested woman like you.

Nice to know this Kraken isn't a pervert at least.

Even if it is dragging children to a watery grave...

Well...hopefully it was that Youngster who called me a scrub earlier...

I could.

The rather distressing claw marks of struggling passengers on the walls are a pretty dead giveaway.

Yes.

The dungeon of the ship in nautical terms.

That doesn't explain the sea monster snatching people up though.

THAT IS NOT AN OKAY THING TO SAY!

I'M JUST A LITTLE BOY DON'T SCARE ME LIKE THIS!

Don't need to tell me twice!

I am GONE!

Jesus Christ...this place is getting destroye-

...

IS THAT A FUCKING DEOXYS!?!?!

ALREADY!?!

Ohhhh...this game really upped the stakes in the space of like 4 minutes...

Haaahhh...

NO!

HOW COULD YOU DO THIS GAME!?!?!?

PAUL WAS INNOCENT DAMMIT!!!

IIIIINNNNOOOOCCCCEEEENNNNNTTTTT!!!!

I've got to be able to save someone, right?

Uh.

Uh.

N-nice weather we're having, huh?

In fact, it's so nice that it would be rude of me to steal some of it from you!

So I'll just...go back inside...

K BYE!

Hah...hah...I know what I can at least save something of value!

GOD DAMMIT!!!

Okay...calm down...just gotta find Mother and steal a lifeboat...

Augustus!

Have you seen Nancy anywhere?

That's rough, buddy. Nice to see you aren't helping that passenger right in front of you.

Now more importantly have you seen my mother?

I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA!

HOW THE HELL DO THE EVIL TEAM IN THIS REGION ALREADY HAVE A LEGENDARY!?!?

THAT SHOULD BE 7 BADGE SEAN'S PROBLEM! NOT MINE!

I DON'T EVEN HAVE A POKEMON YET!

Yes.

Location, please.

Really?

Where?

...

Guess I'm going hole diving then.

I don't really have a choice now, do I?

It's what we protagonists do.

Don't care.

Gotta help Momma.

You and the audience will find that I rarely care what anyone thinks.

NEVERRRRR!!!

Wait no, that's stupid.

What's your idea?

True...don't want to just plop into the kraken's maw after all the blustering I've done.

Well...yeah it's safer.

But is it cooler/more dramatic?

No.

YES. STAIRS. USE 'EM.

ARE YOU DONE?

Ah yes.

The ship is sinking so you'll probably be dead soon.

Unless...you're gonna be that kind of captain that DOESN'T go down with his ship!?

...

Y'know? A sane one?

Arrr...thar be the stairs...

And with it...

A complete fucking mess.

...

Arrr...

God I hope Nancy trains a Milotic or something to get us away from this wreckage.

That's a lady-like Pokemon, right?

MOMMMAAAAAAAA!!!

OOOOOOOOOH!

Impressive to do that with a Fairy type.

...

Wait, did you take care of the fire by blowing holes in the ship?!

Shame that Piano Lady isn't Violin Lady so we could properly do the Titanic song.

The one and only.

...

Okay...there's like...four other in the Pokemon world but fuck those guys.

The one and only in this region.

I blame him actually.

Seems to be the smart thing to do in a fan-game like this.

???

Hey, you stupid bitch!

You're supposed to repeat the "u" in "just" to elongate it!

What you did just makes you sound like you've got a speech impediment!

Juuuuuussstt not jusTTTTT!

HOW MANY FUCKING DEOXYS DO YOU HAVE!?

WAS THERE A MASSIVE METEOR SHOWER AT SOME POINT!?

I'D SAY IT'S PRETTY RELEVANT LADY!

YOU ARE TRYING TO KILL US!

Okay...capture us then?

But I'm not sure if that's worse...

Those tentacles do NOT look friendly.

...

The whole choking the passengers and dragging them below is what gave it away.

Hang on...they're going after my mother? This isn't just some general evil gang scheme to steal all the Pokeymans?

Why?

What's so special about her?

Ah yes.

Nothing leaves less witnesses than attacking a giant fucking cruise ship.

Brilliant plan by Team Whoever the Fuck You Are.

"Her"?

The one Mom is reporting to or something?

...

Wasn't she literally on this ship? Where'd she go?

(How do you take a bird with a stone?)

Mom...there's no move called attack position...

Did you mistake this for Yu-Gi-Oh?

JESUS CHRIST!!

...thanks for taking the hit Sylveon...

Because I was standing right fucking behind you.

WHAT?

I'm not going to just run away like a bitch while my mother gets captured!

How hard can fighting off a horde of Deoxys with my bare hands and a single Pokemon be?

...

Oh wow I'm gonna fucking die...

And if I had a properly functioning gun you'd REALLY start crying!

MOTHER!!!

Mom, I can nail her with a rock or something and cut you out!

It doesn't have to be like this!

I...

...

DAMMIT THIS WILL BE THE ONLY RETREAT I EVER MAKE!

YOU FUCKERS JUST WAIT UNTIL I GET A POKEMON!

*gasp*

Deoxys? Have you heard my plea and have decided to join my side?

...

Your menacing approach suggests otherwise.

Come on man!

I just abandoned my mother to the clutches of some evil bitch!

Can't you just fuck off or something?

Wha-

*MUSICAL CLANG*

HOLY SHIT!!!

THANK YOU, WELL ENDOWED PIANO LADY!!!

I SHALL NEVER FORGET YOU OR YOUR BREASTS!

GOTTA GO FAST, YOU OLD FART!

Tch...

If this was a 3D Pokemon game and I could move diagonally you'd be eating those words right now...

I think you'll find I'm unusually stubborn when it comes to fighting back...

And doing absolutely pointless things.

The hell?

OH!

LOOKS LIKE MY RIDE IS HERE, FUCKFACES!

I'll see you in hell.

FROM HEAVEEEEEEEENNNNNN!!!!!!

WAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA-

-AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAOHSHIT!

To be continued...

 

[SimplyUnknown]

...

...

........... I can't believe you don't know what Aelita means.

Aelita: The meaning of Aelita is "noble". The name Aelita is of English origin. Aelita comes from the book "Aelita, or, The Decline of Mars" by Aleksey Nikolayevich Tolstoy. It is also the name of a Russian Science Fiction Award, the Aelita Award.

Now you know.

On another note, congrats on surviving an explosion and getting off that death ship. We shall mourn the awesomeness of Piano Lady, who dropped a piano on a Deoxys.

But your story begins now. Good luck!

 

[Bookwormgal]

Hehehehe. Okay, it looks like you're off to an impressive start. Not to mention you're grand escape from the catastrophe was pretty entertaining. Now you'll just have to get to shore and figure out who in the world is the cause of the attack and why. Good luck.

 

[wedward45]

Eighteen badges? Eat your heart out, Gary Oak.

That beginning was... uh... well, shit.

 

[MarineHaddock]

All this and not even a starter pokemon to show for it, this is gonna be a long journey

I hope the well endowed piano lady survived somehow and we can meet her again

Possbily in the form of a insurgence deoxys/human

 

[BeyondTheFail]

Aelita being picked as a name is actually a Code Lyoko reference. Only she doesn't have pink hair, doesn't wear pink, and she's arguably more useless. Most of the "ladies" in this bug the crap out of me. Just wait until you find Melia.

Also, the shiny rate is increased in this. I think I ended up with like 5 shinies before I stopped playing. Thought you'd like to know.

 

[Alice ZK]

I'm impressed by the amount of work put into creating this hack. The whole story, the backgrounds... I can't wait to see what's next!

As for what this implies:

this is gonna be a long journey

=> Ditto that. All this exposition and you're yet to pick the starter... A long shot from the 18 badges and the Elite 8

 

[Drymus]

Now, I wonder if this version of Sean will make the same starter choice...

And if he also carries a large collection of lethal spoons...

Good luck in the one fight with the 130 . And the 383 . And be sure to watch out for the 150 .

 

[Vivace]

ALRIGHT FINE I'LL READ IT GEEZ NOBODY READS MY RUNS WHEN I TELL THEM TO THOUGH >:(

*ahem*

Holy hell's horses, this hack has quite the opening! I'll admit I literally lol'd when the piano fell on Deoxys. Good stuff, keep it coming!

 

[Alba Corbina]

I love Well-Endowed Piano Lady! Hopefully you'll be able to get your starter fairly soon.

 

[Tojin]

Fucking Christ, does this game escalate quickly! Loving it so far, despite (or maybe because of) that. I wonder what Pokemon your mum gave you? Guess we'll find out. I was hoping this game was gonna be less depressing than Reborn, but from what we've seen so far, probably not. Good luck with all the gyms. (And also the murderous Deoxyses. Deoxii?)