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Screenshot Fan Game Mature Commentary The Terribly-Titled Nuzlocke of Pokemon Rejuvenation: Part 3: Chapter 145 - Yar Har Fiddle Dee Dee! Being a Pirate is Alright with Me!

Extravanganza Accordian Demo
Thread Description
A heroic saga of loss, anger and a great number of idiocy induced headaches. Welcome to the wild ride that is Pokemon Rejuvenation! (Updated 25/10/22)

No-name

Conqueror of the Ecruteak Gym
Pokédex No.
603
Caught
Jul 31, 2019
Messages
278
Location
Nowhere significant
Nature
Serious
Pokémon Type
  1. Fighting
  2. Normal
Pokédex Entry
Likes vandalizing school buildings and is quite proud of doing so.
With the amount of times you've said "fuck" that would automatically bring this up to an M-rating.
At least in the US, it might be different elsewhere.
I remember him counting the amount of times he said "Fuck" in the run.

It was over 300 times. And that was in Part 1.
 

pikafan96

That Little Yellow Rat
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
2619
Caught
Sep 27, 2020
Messages
211
Location
The middle of nowhere
Nature
Quiet
Pronouns
She/Her
Pokémon Type
  1. Electric
  2. Dragon
Pokédex Entry
A reclusive creature. Can rarely be seen scavenging for food late at night.
I remember him counting the amount of times he said "Fuck" in the run.

It was over 300 times. And that was in Part 1.
My point exactly!
The man has more than earned that M-rating at this point - probably several times over actually.
 

Paradox Roxy

Phantasmal Chaos Writer
Pokédex No.
2262
Caught
Jul 29, 2020
Messages
41
Nature
Quirky
Pronouns
They/Them
Pokémon Type
  1. Fairy
  2. Ghost
Pokédex Entry
Snarky paradox writer.
Might be overdoing it a bit with how much I comment.
Go and look at ANY of my comments and replies. i can assure you, I am far, far worse my friend.
 
OP
Derogatory Trainer

Derogatory Trainer

The hero you don't need but you're getting anyway.
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
315
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
518
Nature
Adamant
Pokémon Type
  1. ???
Pokédex Entry
The most humble and modest braggart you will ever meet.
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!

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JESUS CHRIST!

88 MILES AN HOUR ON FOOT IS TERRIFYING!


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AND NOW I HAVE TO BUY YET ANOTHER PAIR OF SHOES!

WHY IS IT ALWAYS THE SHOES AND NEVER THAT STUPID FUCKING FASHION SCAR-


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...

Oh.

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So we're doing a "grim dark future because of the small and seemingly altruistic changes we made" for the finale arc then, huh?

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Neat!

Was wondering if we'd be doing one of these. There's usually one in every story with time travel.

Honestly thought it'd be because of the Blakeory androids taking over not...whatever the fuck actually happened.

...

Okay, I hoped it'd be androids taking over so I could go back in time to give Pokeku his heart medicine.

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What a shame that mish-mash of a crossover will never happen now.

I had everything ready for it too.

...

And by that I mean this one image I kinda gave up editing halfway.

Another shame.

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Almost as big a shame as literally everyone we ever knew is dead now.

Biiiiig shame there.

...

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Shit.

Did the Great Pokemon War I started when I punched that Heracross do this?

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Hey now, don't give those assholes credit for me.

I'm strictly Earth-born, baby!

But I can understand it being a relief to see me in an...

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Apparently post-apocalyptic wasteland.

It's the kind of location a guy like me would thrive in due to my startling lack of empathy with strangers and deeply buried lust to destroy/conquer all I see before me.

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Not a big fan of the island setting though. It's a bit "7/10 Too much water" for my apocalyptic tastes

Would have preferred a Mad Max/Fist of the North Star wasteland that I could ride a motorbike through it.

Maybe a jetski would work? They ARE the motorbikes of the water after all...

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Yeah...wonder what's up with the ocean?

Is it really toxic now or is it just made of wine?

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Because it LOOKS like red wine.

Did Jesus come back to rapture everyone when the apocalypse hit but he accidentally fall into the sea?

What a klutz.

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Be more accurate if you'd left the "founded" part off of that...

Well Melia...

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From what I can tell, we're in a classic 'alternate future where a minor change in the past turned out to have terrible ramifications' scenario.

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So now everybody is filthy, wearing leather, random parts off of cars, at least one spiky accessory and has terrible haircuts.

Even if someone doing a Nuzlocke was known for specifically having terrible haircuts, they're pretty bad even by his lax standards.

And this is all because that's apparently what we all just decided was proper apocalypse attire.

Like of ALL the possible clothing options we could have picked, we chose one of the most impractical and uncomfortable.

Were haute couture fashion designers the majority at that board meeting?

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Honestly, I really shouldn't have to explain this too you, Melia.

Couldn't you have read at least ONE time travelling story while you were stuck in the past so you wouldn't be so fucking clueless about the themes we run into on this adventure?

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I blame Timpea & Spacea for that though.

I imagine anything that seems contradictory to their view of how time works is probably blasphemy.

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Yeah.

Watching someone scream as the universe itself ripped her apart was...was not pleasant.

But we'll just go back to before it ever happened and then we'll only have to see it again in our nightmares.

Yaaaay.

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I only hope Erin was unconscious when it happened.

Girl clearly has friendship issues and I imagine dying all alone would be a pretty bad thing for her.

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Melia, you fool...

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The better question is "WHEN are we?!"

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Actually no the BETTER, BETTER question is "WHY are we?"

Why the fuck did we get sling-shotted back to our own time period (or it's alternate equivalent) without touching a TimeSplicer stone when Vivian was saved? Weren't we supposed to be protected by the Time Gear necklaces?

Something smells fishy...and it's definitely NOT the fish.

...

Because I'm pretty sure they're all dead.

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And you're somehow being both attentive and inattentive about what I'm saying.

Stop worrying so much!

All we have to do is find a Timesplicer Crystal and use that to go back and let Vivian kill herself for the greater go-

...

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Ugh.

This is a test, isn't it?

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Don't you see?

It's those fucking Time&Space goddesses fucking with our lives agai-

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Huh?!

Someone else is coming through?

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Oh my god, is that thieving Heracross accidentally going to be our third party member on this bad timeline adventure because it stole the Time Amulet?

That'd be fucking hilario-

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...

And suddenly the humor is gone.

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Hell.

And even though it's where a spandex-wearing shit like you belongs, why are you here?

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S'up bitch.

I see you left your murderous beast of a Yveltal at home.

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And as luck would have it, I remembered to bring MY murderous beast of a Haxorus...

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HOW VERY UNFORTUNATE FOR YOU.

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Oh but murderous is fine?

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It is to me, Rose.

It is to me.

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I mean out of context it isn't but whatever works for you here.

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Nah.

After some consideration, I think I'd rather do it with my own two hands.

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Or at the very most, a sharpish rock.

If feel like cavemanning this would be more enjoyable than using something impersonal like a weapon or a Pokemon with a weapon for a face.

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Glad to see you can count, cunt.

God do I hope we're not the only people left alive.

It WOULD be JUST like Jan to force me to repopulate the earth with these two of all characters.

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CURSE HIS NO-DOUBT ENTIRELY DELIBERATE MACHINATIONS!

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We saved the world!

...

...

...

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Froooomm being saved.

I still say we're heroes though.

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We DID technically stop Team Xen by destroying the world before the even existed after all.

So our victory over them is still valid at least.

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And hey, all of the enemies I've made over the course of my time in Aevium were probably never born now!

So just by virtue of being here, I've defeated 99% them.

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Now all I need to do is use this handy dandy rock to bludgeon Madame X's brains and I'll have beaten them all!

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Glad you're keeping up with current affairs, Melia.

And here I thought it was Sasha from the Gearan Hair Salon.

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I-

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D-did Madame X just giggle?

No, wait. It's someone named "???"

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POKEMON GOLD&SILVER RIVAL, IS THAT YOU!?

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YOU SURVIVED THE APOCALYPSE JUST LIKE THIS FUCKING JOKE I KEEP MAKING!?


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Oh.

It's a little girl?

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Why is it always that lone little girls seem to be the best at surviving the fucking end of days when-

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Hang on...why the fuck is this child out here on this tiny deserted island?

In the middle of an assumedly alcoholic sea?

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MY GOD!

SHE'S NOT EVEN THE LEGAL DRINKING AGE!


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Did...Madame X just run away?

...

Is she weak to little girls?

Shit, I should bring Mosley with me next time if THAT'S her weakness.

I'll just wear her on my chest in one of those baby carriers.

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Or maybe I could fashion my OWN edgy body armour.

Out of the orphan children and duct tape!

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It'll show I'm so confident of being untouchable on the battlefield that I'm willing to wear a suit of children!

So heroic!

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Ah ah ah.

Can't give away the "Is Sean actually psychotic someone please tell me" game THAT easily, Nova.

You'll just have to wait and see~

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Alright, little girl, I'm gonna have to ask you to stop giggling like a creep.

Very off-putting.

Boys won't like you if you do that.

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...

Well I stand very fucking corrected.

She brought all the boys to her yard.

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The fuck? Is every woman afraid of children now?

It DOES seem that way in the year 202X...


Whatever.

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SHE doesn't mean any harm, kids.

And neither do I.

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Unless you push me.

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And since you've decided to form a loose semi-circle around us while cackling like hyenas...

Consider me pushed.

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Jesus fucking...

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You did NOT just ask Madame X for help against six actual children, did you!?!

How fucking pathetic can you BE!?!

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Yeah, she's afraid of children and probably commitment.

That's why she's single.

Now then...

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Which one of you kids is the Alpha child so I can break you in front of the others as a demonstration?

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Well not that it matters.

I don't need to resort to intimidation tactics with only six of you here.

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Yes.

Weak soft and easily hurtable kids.

Why would their age matter to me?

None of the people in this timeline matter, Melia.

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Ironically the only human (aside from myself) who matters the most right now...

(And I can't believe I'm saying this...)

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Is you, Melia

Because you're from the Derogatory timeline.

Our home timeline that I've named after myself and will hear no objections over such.

The one I'm going to restore.

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But these kids from a wrong future?

Fuck'em. None of them count as people.

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I know.

I wonder if there's a term for hating against people from alternate timelines?

Chronoanthrophobia maybe?

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What do you think, small and easily injured child?

...

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What's that? You say you want me to use you as a club to beat the others with?

Well how could I decline such a generous offer?

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COME ON YOU LITTLE BASTARDS!

LET ME SHOW YOU HOW WE DON'T DO THINGS IN THE SEAN TIMELINE!!


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BECAUSE I FUND AN ORPHANAGE GODDAMMIT!

I'M A GOOD PERSOOOOOONNNNN!!!!


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DAMN RIGHT! THIS IS THE POWER OF BEING WELL-FED YOUR WHOLE LIFE!

I BET YOU FETAL FUCKERS HAVEN'T DRANK ACTUAL MILK SINCE YOUR MOMMIE'S MALNOURISHED MAMMARIES!


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YOUR NUMBERS MEAN NOTHING!

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YOUR SURPRISINGLY LARGE AND CARTOONISH BONES ARE NOTHING!

YOU ARE NOTHI-


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Oh for the love of...

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THE LEAST YOU COULD HAVE DONE WAS BACK-UP OUT OF THE WAY IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO HELP ME BEAT THESE CHILDREN, MELIA!

COME ON!


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...

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...

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I'M THINKING!

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Derogatory Trainer said:
Fuck'em.
We ain't in the tall grass.
The treaty we signed after the Great Off-Screen Pokemon War gave us the flatlands and skies and them the grass and caves.
Seas are more of a neutral zone since they mostly only attack if we're actually IN the water not on a boat crossing it.
...
That's actually not far of from the actual lore. According to an in-universe legend, Pokémon only started hiding in tall grass once some nutjob with a sword started killing every Pokémon in sight, so they started to live in the tall grass to protect themselves and so they could judge humans from a safe distance.
I've heard of the Veilstone myth before but I didn't think it had to do with them being in the tall grass? I thought they just migrated far away until the man realised the error of his ways.
You HAVE to give the nutjob props though. With all the esoteric powers Pokemon have, he still beat them all with a sword.
I mean sure it was Sinnoh and there were barely any fire types around but it was still very impressive.


As for Conquest, the basic gist that is that if someone takes over the world they get to meet Arceus, that's your goal.
The world being that one region?
God I really hate that self-important trope.
It's like how Griselda's family were said to rule over the Universe when at most they probably just held Aevium.
Funny how that's the way to meet God though.


Nobunaga's goal (because the entire cast is made up of historical figures, even the generics) is to take over the world to either prove Arceus doesn't exist so people stop trying to take over the world, or kill Arceus so people stop trying to take over the world.
Okay...lot of flaws with that plan but it's not too out there for Pokemon.
The simplest thing he could have done is take over the region, meet Arceus and just claim he didn't so everyone would stop aiming for it.


And the game really tries (and mostly succeeds) to make Nobunaga a badass, the dude has Zekrom and it's not even an ace, along with actually really cool historical easter eggs like the guy who killed Nobunga having Ice types because Nobunga uses dragon, but the guy who beat him has fire types, also Resharam because he actually achieved Nobuaga's goal, turning his ideal into truth. You of course take over the world yourself and make friends with Arceus and the game implies Nobunaga's sister as a love interest.
Jesus, they must have had a fanboy on this game's development team. That's nuts.
Also mildly surprising that it made it to the West but then again, it's Pokemon so it's not that surprising.
Derogatory Trainer said:
Oh man. Good luck with that.
I hear it's pretty hard going to Nuzlocke.
Y-yeah... incredibly hard... I TOTALLY had a tough time with it.

Even if it was moreso because I screwed up the screenshots for it, so I had to do the ENTIRE RUN AGAIN! Things just aren't as difficult the second time around when you know what's coming.
Yeah, okay.
They're all piss-easy once you actually get going and start forming a OP team due to the game giving you so many options.

Oh man, I've been there. Had to redo like two hours of content once due to pressing F9 instead of F8 for screenshots.
That's why Blind-lockes are more fun. And why I never do vanilla Nuzlockes.
Don't know why people watch Youtubers do them. Super boring stuff.


Derogatory Trainer said:
...
You tryna say something, punk!?
Saying that maybe I should have planned my Nuzlockes better and that's it's kinda sad that I've gained the most views yet still haven't actually finished a single run on this site yet?
Saying that I seem to be pushing my own regrets onto you so I can attack you for my own mistakes due to my ego refusing to admit I've made one?
Is THAT what you're trying to say, punk?!
...no? Reborn and Rejuv are MASSIVE. if you did those games like I'm doing RP it would burn you out immensely.

Now your Rising Ruby Locke on the other hand...
I did not think ahead when I decided that THESE were the games I was going to start with.
Could have built a nice little nest egg with yet another shitty Fire Red Nuzlocke but noooooooo I had to be SPECIAL and do something else.
Fucking Past-Sean.
...
Okay I just ranted without actually replying to the message but you probably don't need me too.


Derogatory Trainer said:
It'll be like that scene in the Prince of Egypt where the firstborn children would die if their door frame wasn't smeared in lambs blood.
I am your lambs blood.
Well... I'm the lastborn child... where does that leave me?
Completely unharmed.
Now get out of my room, twerp. God's coming to kill me.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Past-Sean wrote this before he was corrected about it.
Also I'm now instating a new rule that anytime I see a hair colour, everyone is to automatically agree with me about it.
You know I would never follow that rule right?
And you know that I know that you wouldn't so am going to purposefully pretend anything you say about hair colours is wrong and that you should be stoned for adultery.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Is that the robot looking thing with the Chernobyl ability?
I never finished that game so I don't know.
Close, that's Urayne, Curie is it's trainer.
Oh.
I thought that Urayne was posing as Curie given how similar they look.


Derogatory Trainer said:
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...
Will we say it together then, Erin?
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Click to expand...
Ahh... best girl Erin and Sean sharing a moment together...
Pretty much the ONLY moment in this game since I followed Flora in Darchlight Caves.

Derogatory Trainer said:
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OH NOOO!
God forbid we fight FIVE HERACROSS in a...23v5 battle!?
WE'RE DOOOOOMED!!!
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Click to expand...
I swear this pokemon battling just seems to be all over the place in this region, it's somehow BETTER to attack these guys?
It's self-defense!
They should have just allowed us to traipse through their land and rifle through their shit no questions asked!
But noooo...they just had to defend their-
They just HAD to attack us for NOOOO reason!


Derogatory Trainer said:
Also how fucking old is Kanon supposed to be anyway?
Both Melia and Venam keep calling him kid or brat for some reason.
He literally looks the exact same age as all of them.
Vaugely 16-18.
Does "almost as old as Indraid/Nymiera" do anything for you?
Yeah but that's KANON. We're talking about Kanon.
Like...how old is he supposed to look in game if a fucking 16 year old punk girl is calling him a brat?


Derogatory Trainer said:
SO.
THE FUCK WAS THAT ABOUT!?!?
WHY'D SHE GIVE AELITA THE AMULET IN THE FIRST PLACE IF SHE WAS JUST GOING TO STEAL IT BACK!?!
*Bangs head on table so hard it splinters* THANK YOU! I was so confused about that.
Best I can guess is that it was to avoid suspicion but even then there was literally a cutscene showing that she had the Heracross steal it.
Feel like that should have been left out to leave things SOMEWHAT ambigious.
...
Don't even know why Aelita couldn't have come to the Bad Future. Could have been interesting to see her react to a non-clinically depressed Keta.


Derogatory Trainer said:
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Her eyes?
But why would a stink bomb affect her eyes over her nose?
....
Cella...did you make chlorine gas?
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WHAT KIND OF PRANKS WERE YOU LITTLE MONSTERS PULLING BACK IN THE DAY!?!!?
Click to expand...
And where can I get some of it?
Chemical/Biological warfare ain't cool, kids.
Only fucking losers use it.
You wouldn't want to be a fucking LOSER, right?
...
Good.
Challenge your enemies to honourable turn-based sword fights instead.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Well this is unfortunately useless to me, since I don't have the "OH-SO-SPESHUL" bloodline needed to cast their spells.
...
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I think that was a requirement to cast their spells, right? Or am I remembering that wrong?
Click to expand...
Nope, small spoiler for a V12 sidequest but Karen actually teaches you a Garufan spell next time you meet her. All it does is open a door but it's still a spell.
I refuse to do it.
I will punch a hole in the wall next to the door because everyone always forgets to reinforce those in ancient tombs.
It'll be just like how I got Reinhard without Anju's Locket.
Bluster just dug a hole in the brick wall and avoided the magic light door entirely.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Look it's all very confusing to me.
The only thing I know is that I won't be casting "Fireball" at anyone anytime soon.
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Which is a shame.
Because that would be cool.
Click to expand...
200.gif
Imagine having the gall to use a Clash of Clans gif in MY nuzlocke thread.
Mobile games aren't games, Sovereign.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Lady in Red.
EA9sczbm.jpg

Lady in the mask
WMwntaNm.jpg

Now I don't know about you guys but that doesn't really describe Madame X.
Here, let's look at Zumi's artwork of her.
iEMsVUA.png

I wouldn't call her suit "armor" after seeing this.
She's never been shown to have magic powers (even that Kamehameha she shot at me was from a laser gun, I think?)
Lady in red...that could work but Red seems to just be her cape.
And mask...it's more of a helmet, no?
IoFRrO2m.jpg

So maybe there's some other bitch pulling Kanon's strings? Someone we haven't met yet?
Hmmm.
Click to expand...
Oh... you know that completely went over my head until now... the only problem I have with it being you-know-who though is that Kanon clearly said lady IN red instead of Red haired lady.
Her hair is certainly long enough that she could USE it as a coat?
Otherwise I've still got nothing and this was probably changed in some later version because I still don't know who it could have been.


Derogatory Trainer said:
NGiB48Dm.jpg

Huh?
Well don't look at me.
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I know it's something I'd totally do but I was standing right in front of you.
Click to expand...
You know... when you get back to this point I think it would have been faster just bum rushing your other selves instead of sitting there and talking about it. But talking is a free action in games like these so what do I know?
I think Melia should be able to fucking see who threw the rock from where she's standing since they should be looking RIGHT at each other.
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This is where the alternate versions of ourselves were standing when they threw the rock. DIRECTLY in Melia's narrow cone of vision.

Derogatory Trainer said:
xZA3vWHm.jpg

I mean sure but that's because the game won't let us stroll into Marble Manor and slit Vitus' throat to stop the calamity.
Which is bullshit really.
Click to expand...
I-I mean... not only would you probably not be able to get anywhere near him... that wouldn't even stop him.
Is he un-killable though?
I'm pretty sure they only ever mentioned him not aging...
And I would SO be able to get near him. He's only got maids and a single Gardevoir protecting him after all.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Hell I'll even give you a gold star for it!
ml5PUemm.jpg

There we go.
...
Oh that one Venam gained was for getting herself turned into a statue and kicked out of the story.
I really appreciated that.
Click to expand...
So what's the point of you being on the board if you're the one handing out stars?
Narcissism.
Narcissism is the point.

Derogatory Trainer said:
How the fuck is Regice stronger than Regirock? Type advantages would suggest the opposite.
I have now decided to put V13 changes into spoiler boxes so you can read them only if you want.

Angie's Regice actually loses this battle in V13, so Melia battles it while you battle Vivian.

... Then when you get back from the bad future you have to fight it.
They're fine if it's changes to parts I've already played through but in case some idiot who hasn't played the game reads the comments it's best you do.
Wow. Melia actually CONTRIBUTING instead of watching?
...
I don't like it. CHANGE IT BACK SO THAT EVERYONE ELSE BUT ME IS USELESS, JAN!
(also wow Angie, you suck)

Derogatory Trainer said:
YOU'LL NEVER BE FINISHED! YOU'LL BE READING UNTIL EITHER YOU OR I DIEEEE!!!
the third option is you actually finish this AND YOU KNOW WHAT I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!!!
NOOOO! POSITIVE ENCOURAGEMENT!? MY ONE WEAKNESS!
*jumps into traffic*


Derogatory Trainer said:
Just wait until the coma arc where I literally am in a fucking coma and play as other characters.
wait, wh??? oh no
Don't worry. It's not that bad at all.
The only REAL headache is having to pretend like I don't know what happens all those times.

Derogatory Trainer said:
The Kan-Kan man was in Sheri-dan?
sdfjl i laughed but please do not repeat this in the future
You know me.
I never repeat jokes.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Of COURSE we were all going to pick "Scizors".
ohhhh clever, clever clever
SO much build up for such a simple pun.

Derogatory Trainer said:
THE WAR STARTS ANEEEWWWWWWW!!!
sdfkj okay also funny
Nothing like restarting a devastating war to tickle the ol' funny bone, right?

Derogatory Trainer said:
WHY'D SHE GIVE AELITA THE AMULET IN THE FIRST PLACE IF SHE WAS JUST GOING TO STEAL IT BACK!?!
DUNNO BUT IT SEEMS VERY STUPID AND COUNTER-INTUITIVE. I'LL EAT A RAW ONION IF IT TURNS OUT TO BE SMART
GOD NO!
AT LEAST FRY IT IN A LITTLE OIL!


Derogatory Trainer said:
At no point do they actually stab a Pokemon with a big stinger. Why is that?
my rationale is that they're actually conjuring up real needle-like creations. like thorns or cactus spines, and shooting them out. kind of like water types summoning up a water jet from inside their own bodies

maaaaagic
I refuse to believe this and will link you to several realistic tryhard images of what Pokemon biology would look like in real life.
...
Well I would if I was a fucking LOSER.
Magic it is. Nobody needs to know if Charmander has flame sacs in it.


Derogatory Trainer said:
That's actually a pretty cool line, Viv.
it's very cool and im made that vivian got it when she's like. not even important enough for a vs card
And Veronica gets three of them for each of the phases she goes through.
There's no justice in the world of Pokemon (rejuvenation)


Derogatory Trainer said:
Well no matter, Caesar's put in a lot of hours during this run so he deserves it.
YEAH HE DOES!!!!
Hmmmm...now I'm starting to think he doesn't...
Derogatory Trainer said:
Mimikyu and Marill are the exceptions because they at least have different typing.
i could've sworn that mimikyu was ghost/electric, but it appears that the fact it's ghost/fairy is actually just one of those things i "remember" and then forget within hours of being corrected
It's an easy mistake to make. I've thrown so many Ground moves at those things over the years only to be disappointed.
Another one for me is Crabrawler.
Like I know it has "brawl" in the name but BLUE CRAB just screams "water type", you know?

Knew I should have kept my mouth shut. (why didn't I listen to the smart part of my brain?). I am never gonna make that joke again.
Now I should actually read the chapter! (starting this one at 9:15, lets see how long I take)
Huh.
You know I've never actually timed the run like that. I usually just stop and start at random intervals.


Derogatory Trainer said:
You know what's also fun?
Mojitos on a sunny beach where no pesky Nuzlockes can bother me.
.....ok one whats a mojito and two would you really be doing this if you could be there?
It's a minty alcoholic drink that I don't actually like anywhere but the beach.
Doing what?
Nuzlockes? God no. I hate Nuzlocking in hot weather. That's why the summer months always slow down uploads.
Winter nights where the sun goes down at half 5 are my jam.

Derogatory Trainer said:
But that could just be this game and it's busload of women characters compared to the mini-van of male ones.
...
Although all of them being female is making that joke theory above look a LOT more believable now...
.....creepy. as in how believable it is, not....something else. Where was I going with this comment?
I don't know.
I don't even remember what the hell I was saying about a busload of women. I COULD look back but...
Meh.

Derogatory Trainer said:
I'm...not sure I understand what you mean by this...?
Did you give it the same personality as Zolt or something?
Adam keeps asking me questions about human life and tries to ask things that Zolt has. maybe magnezone just all have similar personalities? (I named it after adamantite)
We'll say the newer models do.
Like ones we caught as Magnemites and not Magnetons.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Like I get not using Pokemon in cutscenes since it'd be impossible for the program to understand which Pokemon the player is even using but having every major climactic battle end up with the bad guys getting away or some magic woman/creature bursting in and acting like their presence was necessary for victory is too fucking much.
THANK YOU. ITS DEPRESSING.
AND IT'S NEVER GOING TO STOP!

Derogatory Trainer said:
I think Hestia was the ONLY one not to be an evil monster.
Athena cursed Medusa into being a snake monster because Posiden raped her and Artemis turned a man into a deer for accidentally seeing her naked and set his own dogs to rip him apart.
....point taken, I'd forgotten about the dogs thing. She turned him into a deer too in some tellings. (Hestia is a good hearth goddess)
Never does nothin' to nobody. That's our Hestia.

Derogatory Trainer said:
I'm not going to let them keep their powers even for my own usage, that's just stupid and asking to be sent into Pre-History.
The whole POINT of the throne of skulls and the chained up former goddesses is to dissuade rebellion.
If I can show that even the gods can't stand up to my might, why would anyone else bother trying?
ohhhhhh....I-I really misunderstood what you were saying, sorry.
Ha!
There's something funny about apologising for misunderstanding someone over how he was going to chain goddesses to his throne.
Like "Oh I'm so sorry for accusing you of patricide! That man at your feet is CLEARLY your uncle! Please forgive my horrible mistake."


I was implying I was glaring at melia.
...
Was she in a generally South East direction?


Derogatory Trainer said:
Oh you must have meant something else?
Melia's not the Majesty they're referring to. That was just her Super Saiyan form or whatever.
.....ok, good to know. I'm going to stop thinking about arceus-melia now
That'd be for the best.
Let us enjoy what little time we have left before that becomes a thing in this Nuzlocke.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Honestly, same.
It did one good thing in that remote work is taken far more seriously now because fuck being able to afford place in cities and fuck commuting.
I should know, my mother started doing remote work barely a month into the original explosion and she's much, much happier now (Pacific Northwest was one of the earliest places in the US hit- becaue the Seattle-Tacoma international airport had the first case. Go look it up, the man who was infected asked to be quarantined to reduce the spread as soon as he found out. also yes you know what region of the US i live in now, so what?)
Well that's nice to hear.
As for what I'm going to do about knowing where you live...

3isa7md.jpg


Now all I have to do to enact my master plan is find a bomb that they discontinued in 1961!
Then you and Washington State's day of reckoning shall come!
It's what you get for being the setting of Twilight!

Derogatory Trainer said:
You did.
I shall call upon you when the great cleansing begins.
I will hope that is a good thing! Maybe I'm your scribe or the one who writes your speeches or something!

...and not the first one on the guillotine.
No need to worry.
The first one on the guillotine will ALWAYS be No-Name.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I'm sure if everyone got a nice card once in a while, they'd be less prone to mass murder.
Maybe. I hope so.
Next time you see someone about to commit mass murder, give them a tepidly funny greeting card and see what happens!

Derogatory Trainer said:
I just made them silent machines that I point at enemies until I purified them.
Surely there must be SOME good emulator for GameCube out there? It came out 18 years ago for crying out loud!
Also Reborn doesn't have Shadow Pokemon?
It's less than there arent good emulators for it, it's that my laptop isn't really powerful enough to run them.
also my bad, for some reason I keep mistaking that part where you fought Mewtwo as a fight in Reborn.
Ah I see. I too don't have that good a laptop. I think it's the CPU that's the problem but I bought it cheap enough so I can't complain.
It's fine. There's a Mewtwo Fight in Reborn as well.


Derogatory Trainer said:
...
Why did I end up with TWO crazy time people in my comment section?
Because it's fun getting to go chuuni sometimes and Rejuvination with its time goddess gjinka is just ASKING for it at this point.
Also my speciality is Paradoxes specifically. not anything time based. (because paradoxes also deal with space and a lot of my created characters have spacial magic. kinda my thing in my stories)
Isn't chuuni basically just teenage cringe but for Japanese kids?
Wait so you stop paradoxes and yet you're called PARADOX Roxy? Shouldn't you be causing them instead?
My god...Your very NAME is a paradox! HOW DEEP DOES THIS RABBITHOLE GO!?
Edit: And now I've recieved word that the new Paldea region will have something called "Paradox" Pokemon so now I'm even more suspicious.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Well I don't follow One Piece at all but to me it always seemed like a cartoony manga anyways...
in Gear Five he got an injury that would force him to recover in a tiny span of time for a second wind and didn't even notice it. It went from "is made of rubber" to "is just straight up a Toon Character"
Well I suppose that was the logical route a cartoon character with rubber abilities would take.
To become an ACTUAL rubberhose character.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Naaahh. That's the Puppet Master.
Ah, right. Forgot about him when I made that comment.
So did everyone else after that one chapter he was in.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Probably the better option of the two.
Yeaa...Adam kind of saved my run by being such a tank and taking so mant hits while I got my heavy hitters up (and whilst it took a while, after realizing the rest of my team could maybe get ONE hit on the totem togedemaru, I just let Adam chip it away....)
That fight is a menace. I always kept a Ground type in the PC to deal with it.

Derogatory Trainer said:
She was never an emo.
Staraptors just naturally look like `'em.
But yes, I know she is.
I traded Caesar's unholy ghost child for her after all.
And take good care of her! You did well with Rose, I know you can keep up being a good poke-father! Mostly.
"Mostly"
Throwing empty beer bottles at them when they interrupt my sports games is a perfectly valid parenting technique I'll have you know!
It teaches them to dodge and...how to clean up shards of glass!

Derogatory Trainer said:
Er. No I wasn't actually being specific.
The joke was that they're both me so saying "My money's on me" is completely redundant.
Reborn Sean never got as far as Rejuvenation Sean. Plus I was young back then and tended to just train my favourites instead of everyone in the box.
OHHHHHHHH. Whoops. Now I get the joke....
And because you didn't at first, the joke is ruined and I have failed as an entertainer.
Time to enroll in business school.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I think Arceus demands his followers be overdramatic.
It'd explain a lot about the villains in both this and Reborn.
So then the only reason you aren't one is because you hate poke-religion?
No.
I'm just so egotistical I can't ever be comfortable with being a devout follower of any being.
Human, god or Pokemon.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Wait a second...
It was Madame X that stopped me from staying in that timeline...
And I can't help but notice you have an UNUSUAL amount of X's in your name.
...
...

I'm watching you, ParadoX RoXy.
Oj firstly, Paradox has been my moniker for like half my life. Second Roxy is just a feminine form of Roxas (Long story how It occured, it involved Discord) and if you know Kingdom hearts at all, you know why it has an X in the name.
Also how dare you instigate I'm connected to a mother killer! I love my mother, and everyone should have a loving mama to care for them! I'm actually offended at that.
I only have a tertiary understanding of Kingdom Hearts. It's something about Xehanort lives in all the X's in the universe or something?
Madame X has actually killed zero actual mothers to date.
So I've only insinuated you being connected to a crazed woman in a bodysuit stabbing people with swords.
Which is completely fine.


Derogatory Trainer said:
There's no WAY Lavenders hair is fucking pink.
Also Isha doesn't torture people.
He cures cancer, how could anyone who does that be considered a bad guy, huh?
Electivire.
????
I'm pretty sure Electivire doesn't cure cancer.
...
Now that I think about it I'm also pretty sure cancer doesn't even exist in Pokemonland.
So Isha is molesting those patients WITHOUT a justifiable reason to be allowed to do so! The monster!


Derogatory Trainer said:
That's crazy.
Both you and No-Name are crazy and I'm calling the asylum to drag you off before you can say anything else crazy like "Help! Sean is trying to gaslight us into believing he didn't make a mistake!"
....did you seriously change that JUST to make a joke at us? I-I was literally just confused and wanted to make sure I understand what you were saying, why are you being so defensive of a simple typing error?!
Yes. I found it very amusing to do so.
Because I saw an opportunity to mess with the both of you and took it without any regret.
You've got to stop thinking I take things like this to heart. It's all just a laugh.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I'm pretty sure it wasn't you.
I might just be like N was.
...
Why would you be able to do that anyway? Isn't your shtick time-related?
MY SHTICK IS PARADOXES. IT'S IN MY NAME. And Paradoxes involve both time and space!! All of my created characters have spatial magic!!
Also I was leaning into that idea that I was jsut some middle management in the great time-space offices, and that my theoretical boss was the one who gave you that ability because they found you amusing.
I'm enjoying making this side narrative of how I'm connected to your story, and it's fun! Plus I like seeing peoples reactions!
And here I thought that your shtick was rocks. Or doxxing.
Honestly? Not a fan of this. It usually goes everything that actually IS happening in the game's story.
Also it will lead to me attacking your hypothetical organisation because I punish any attempts at manipulating me very severely.


Derogatory Trainer said:
In hindsight, I seem to have the most superpowers out of the entire cast.
They're all just extremely situational or border-line useless.
Something something Protagonists of fan games get no respect.
Where is the fan-game where you become a Evil Team Leader because of the lack of respect you got as a hero?
Someone should make that one next.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I was talking about the Crests...but I suppose that would count as well, yes.
All I can think is FE#H Crests, sorry.
How dare you.
This is a Pokemon Forum. ONLY POKE-THOUGHTS ARE POKE-ALLOWED HERE!


Derogatory Trainer said:
CAPTAIN FREEDOM TO SAVE THE DAY FROM THE EVIL DR. PARADOX!
....that is so...so cringey. I....and wouldn't it be Doctor Roxy?
Doctor Roxy isn't a very good villain name. It sounds like Captain Freedom is just attacking a normal doctor.
Just use that as your civilian identity.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Cured strips of dried meat.
A bit like beef jerky but without all the sugar additives in them.
....I have to find some now, that sounds like a perfect snack when I'm writing.
I usually eat them with peanuts so while it's a great snack...it's not so great due to the peanut dust.
Derogatory Trainer said:
You have a lot of confusing and contradicting powers.
I KNOW. I have like 12 versions of one character and her only connecting thread is spatial magic because of the multiple ideas and stories I was making. I've been working on sorting them out (ALONG WITH THE OTHER 7 AND THEIR VERSIONS) and I am maybe 60% done after about a week of on and off looking through my notes. It's a little depressing.
...
My head hurts from just reading that. I pity your own that has to put it all together.


I don't remember what it was I was glad you thought but I'm glad you're glad about my gladness towards the original comment.
Derogatory Trainer said:
Oh hang on a second...I think I DID play one of these games for like the DS! It came on one of those illegal R4 cards that were going around!
Yeah I never got into it. I didn't mind the map stuff but I preferred being able to see my characters during battle.
Plus I think I was more obsessed with Custom Robo Arena and Rune Factory 2 on that cart anyway.
Understandable. You have to be just a tad maschochistic (I know I spelt that wrong...) to enjoy those games fully. Also how was Custom Robo Arena? I've heard about it but never actually played it.
It was like how they should have made a Medabots game on DS, I guess.
Controllable robots with exchangeable parts and an incredibly anime plot behind it.
I think there was a plot point where the military used these fucking super strong action figures sized robots to fight as well.


Derogatory Trainer said:
What I usually do in that situation is just put on a serene and comfortable expression so whoever I'm with thinks that I don't find the situation awkward. And if they say something I respond with with a higher pitched "Hmmm?" like I wasn't really worried about anything at all.
THANK YOU. I NOW HAVE SOME WAY OF NOT FEELING AWKAWARD AS HELL can you accept a hug of gratitude?I'm sorry.
I only accept cold hard cash as gratitude.
Best you can do is one of those bribe handshakes where you've got $50 in your hand to transfer over to mine.

Why not just change your TITLE then?
To like Gardener Roxy or Post Office Worker Roxy?
Because my title sounds cool and chuuni and I love it? and it's been a part of my handle for like 11 years.
Well I can't argue with it sounding good...it's a pretty snappy title.

Derogatory Trainer said:
I see...I usually just slice them and throw 'em into a fajita cold but I'll have to remember to fry them next time.
Really? I would have thought it'd pretty common...
Although this is coming from someone who used to put pepper, spicy seasoning, lemon juice and balsamic vinegar on crackers so what do I know about what's common?
Yea bell peppers really need some cooking or frying or sweating for the flavors to burst out. it;s a trick I learned after experimenting.

Also that is....the last two are the ones that lleft me confused. just for crackers? really? (did you do them like all at once or just one?)
Good to know.
Yep. All on one cracker. Don't eat them anymore though.
Never figured out why exactly. We kind of just drifted apart.
Now I'm all about melted cheese with lime and pepper grindings on crackers.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Really, it's just that I don't have a Switch to experience it.
...
Is Xenoblade the one with the red headed sword lady with the big tits or is that something else?
Is Shulk a Xenoblade?
I know SOMETHING from that game is in Smash Bros. A game I also do not own.
Xenoblade was originall on the Wii. and got a 3ds port. and NOW has a definitive edition on Switch (that really is the best version thanks to how it gives good QoL)
and....red headed sword lady with a large chest is a character from Xenoblade Chronicles 2. The two don't really have any connections beyond some cursory imagery.
And NO, Shulk is the wielder of the MONADO. (the game was supposed to be originally called "Monado: Beginning of the World" but the developers changed the name to Xenoblade because some of the imagery, background, etc, had some connections to the Xenogears series.)
Shulk is in smash since the wii u and 3ds ones, Pyra and Mythra (long story short, 2 different personalities with their own thoughts, and feelings but in one body- with no hard feelings actually!- are DLC for smash ultimate)
I'm going to stop commenting on this before I end up ranting on a series I love more.
...
Well thank you for clarifying.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Very impressive work.
NOW HERE WE GO AGAIN!
NOOOOO
.....haven't even gotten into the chapter and it's already 10....fuck.
IT NEVER EEEENNNNDDSSSS

Derogatory Trainer said:
Only "OH GOD WHY DO I HAVE TO GET UUUUUUUUP" mornings.
MOOD.
I believe they say #relatable nowadays.

Derogatory Trainer said:
ARE YOU ACTIVELY WORKING AGAINST ME NOW?! IS THAT IT?

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A TEAM HERE!
Oh GOODIE, I was afraid of this. This can only get worse...
You were afraid of THIS specific scenario?
Sprite Sean rebelling and telling people about the things I make him do?


Derogatory Trainer said:
It doesn't help that I've never battled him and that he was almost instantly replaced by the much prettier albino over there.
he GOT HIS SALAMENCE killed!!!
His Salamence was PATHETHIC.
Wasn't even his either. Didn't raise it from a Bagon or nuthin'


Derogatory Trainer said:
Horcrux.

It's a Horcrux.

We're rehashing that stupid Keta soul plot again, aren't we?

Except we're blatantly ripping off Harry Potter this time.
...I'm...going to admit I don't know what a Horcrux is, I could never find anything past goblet of fire as a kid and I have only seen a little bit of Half blood prince and deathly hallows part one
Voldemort's phylacteries basically. It's why he didn't die when Harry blew him up as a kid.
They can only be destroyed in three known ways. All difficult to achieve under normal circumstances.

Derogatory Trainer said:
I agree with Erin for agreeing with my earlier misgivings.

We're acting on very little information here aside from "Vivian is sad, this bad. Magic is involved."
Would you believe me if this misunderstanding that's about to occur causes a worldwide Thanos snap? (I just watched Infinity war, okay?)
I wouldn't because it's not true.
Thanos only went for HALF. Which coincidentally left every single original Avengers member alive.
Plus the only people that got deleted were Aelita and Erin. Nobody else from that time period changed.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Would an Arceus knowing "Thief" be considered blasphemy? (It can't learn Thief. I just checked.)
I want to assume its because the GOD of this world doesn't need to steal anything it made.
That's...a really good way to put it.
Guess that makes the OG creator of Pokemon, Mew a thieving little shyster then.

Derogatory Trainer said:
I'm still trying to understand why Sprite-Sean only told them that he was spying on Vivian and nothing about the things she said.

Like how God has abandoned the world and there's an apocalypse coming?
Because spirte-sean doesnt have anything going on upstairs.
or even downstairs.
I think he has TOO much going on downstairs if all he remembers from that night is Vivian bathing under the moonlight and not the dark things she was talking about.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Wqrr1aTm.jpg


Eventually being left behind like this all the time is going to start hurting my feelings.
Click to expand...
Says the man who hurts others feelings constantly and looks like a reject from Men in Black in this shot.
Yes.
Have you not realised that people who are not me don't matter yet?
Pretty sure I haven't been subtle about it.

Derogatory Trainer said:
She's clearly an INT build if I ever saw one.
And your clearly a STR-CHA build if I ever saw one (Apparently I'm a DEX-INT build)
It's probably just STR at this point since nobody ever listens to me when I'm trying to tell them something.
DEX-INT? That's the NERD build.
(The Dex comes from that trick where you spin a pen in your hand without it falling as you write your thesis on thesising)

Derogatory Trainer said:
I assume the plot for Pokemon Conquest?

I genuinely know nothing at all about that game aside from it being a bit like Final Fantasy Tactics or Ogre Tactics.

Was a Pokewar not the premise?

I'm sure Oda Nobunaga was involved somehow, given how the Japanese cream themselves at the mere mention of him...
Someone else already explained it but your not ENTIRELY wrong. Even if its taking visual *ripoffs from dynasty warriors.
Yeah. Nobunaga in that game screams "Dynasty Warriors" for sure.
I think it's the popped collars that do it.

Derogatory Trainer said:
SHOULD I PRETEND I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH I SAW IT, SPRITE-SEAN DIDN'T?

GOD THESE FUCKING SEAN-LESS CUTSCENES GET ON MY NERVES! THAT'S SOME IMPORTANT INFORMATION I CAN'T TELL ANYBODY ABOUT!
No, don't bother. It's not like anything you know will ever actually transfer to his empty attic. Besides, its a story beat! (Also this just makes me think Spacea is actively trying to fuck over Timpea or both of them are trying to see what the consequences will be out of some kind of godly boredom....ill go grab your Red Chain)
Very true.
Nah. Those two are firmly in cahoots. All this bullshit was planned by them to "harden" Melia or some shit like that.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I hope so.

But I also doubt so.

A character gets a mysterious illness just before crunch time? Never a good sign.

CcdgPxnm.jpg


That's not what I meant, I'm referring to the timing of it all.

Very suspicious.
Click to expand...
Ohh dammit here we go the first warning bell...
I think you're several behind at this stage.
The first warning bell was the eclipse meaning Timpea and Spacea were around.
Then the cryptic and not AT ALL suspicous questions they asked Melia.
And then saying "Soon you'll learn" to themselves (and me) after Melia left the room.
There's probably more but you get the point that I'm trying to make.
...
That point being you've overslept and the disaster is IN TEN MINUTES!


Derogatory Trainer said:
kSsIk4Dm.jpg

dRFTdZmm.jpg


YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEP!
Click to expand...
Going to assume this chapter gets really bad cause I reply to anything I quote instantly
Derogatory Trainer said:
So Kanon gave Vivian a spell book of Garufan sorcery, eh?

Well this is unfortunately useless to me, since I don't have the "OH-SO-SPESHUL" bloodline needed to cast their spells.
I feel like that bloodline also makes you lose common sense, so you dodged a bullet, robo-man. (I feel like you'd get mad if i called you robo-boy, since I'm younger than you.
If only I WAS a robot. That would make fighting the ACTUAL androids in this game a whole lot easier than breaking my bones off their metal faces.
You made the right decision. Even if I wouldn't have cared all that much.
The thing that REALLY irritates me is being called "sweetie" or "honey" in a condescending manner.
Like fuck you lady on the internet, I could literally rip you in half with my bare hands.

Derogatory Trainer said:
He seemed genuinely annoyed about not being allowed to come...but he's the one who started this chain of events?

He didn't seem to know any of this though.
...Imposter? Copy? odd-past-timeline-self-whos-trying-to-fuck-over-everyone-for-edgy-reasons BS?
None of the above.
Amensiac.

Derogatory Trainer said:
So maybe there's some other bitch pulling Kanon's strings? Someone we haven't met yet?

Hmmm.
Hmmm.....
PULLING STRINGS!?
IT MUST BE THE PUPPET MASTER! THAT PERSON WHO ONLY APPEARED ONCE AND IS KINDA POINTLESS!

Derogatory Trainer said:
I DON'T KNOW, WHAT ARE YOU TWO JUST STANDING AROUND HERE DOING NOTHING?!

COULD YOU NOT HAVE MAYBE DELAYED VIVIAN A BIT FOR US!?
Your implying they're smart enough/care enough to actually do that.
They definitely care enough.
If they didn't none of the nonsense in this next arc would have happened.


Derogatory Trainer said:
NGiB48Dm.jpg


Huh?

Well don't look at me.
Click to expand...
Ohhh ahahaha thank you so MY WORRY WAS CORRECT (SOMEONE PLEASE NOTE I CALLED THIS FOR A FUTURE CHAPTER.)
What are you taaaaalking about?
Clearly a really weak Geodude just threw a rock at Melia. Nothing to read into that at allllll.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Why does something about a pebble to the head during time travel adventures feel...familiar?

Like...I know I've seen it in a movie aaaaages ago but I can't remember which one...

I'll look it up when I'm done here.
Hmmmm.....what did you find? actually curious.
Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.
Derogatory Trainer said:
Out of all of the Future Gang, I'm the one you've spoken to the most.

And the first thing you saw me do was attempt to divert a meteor with a tennis racket and then punch a newborn alien in the face.

Those aren't normally trustworthy actions.

It's more of a sign that I have mental problems.
At least you know you have em, unlike some.....
I only said it was a SIGN. Not that I actually have them.
Ironically being the sanest one among these people makes ME look like the crazy one.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Dying sucks, Vivian.

You wake up in a black void and then get sent to a cottage by the sea where some mysterious goth waif tells you to wake up and keep fighting.
The fact that Crescent broke the rules and did that caused so much paperwork and my friend complained to me about it for hours.....
This is where the LARP goes arseways.
That had nothing to do with time or paradoxes at all. Crescent and I are connected on a different level you might say.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Oh neat, it makes the anime movie noises.

That's a good touch.
Regice sounds so stupid, I legit cant tell what registeel is saying. regirock sounds IMPOSING and Regigigas has like 3 different tones i like its first one the best.
UN UN UN is my favourite noise out of that cacophony.

Derogatory Trainer said:
So who wants to handle this Regi-roadblock for me while I do the important fight against Vivian?

My therapist said I should delegate more after all.
Where'd you find a therapist in a pokemon world? Those existing should help A LOT OF ISSUES IN THIS.
He's imaginary.
...
Uh-Oh.

Derogatory Trainer said:
It's not even that I hate the design, there's just so many other Pokemon that badly need improvement!

But of course, those geniuses at Gamefreak thought Meowth needed 3 regional forms and a new evolution line!

What about the Dunsparces of the world? Or the Luvdiscs? Or the Sunfloras?

Hell make something fucking new! There STILL isn't a dolphin Pokemon!
Hey I actually think Perrzerker looks cool! Though I only casually play these games so my opinion doesn't matter much.
They could have made something NEW though.

Derogatory Trainer said:
I bet they'll make it open world but not adjust the badge levels so you have to fucking do the same gyms in order anyway!
PLEASE NO, THAT WOULD ACTUALLY ANGER ME. (despite my above comment)
Well get angry because despite being open world they mentioned that the player could tackle "stronger" gyms.
10/10 once again, Game Fucks.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Okay yeah that settles it.

The 'Protectors of Aevium' are definitely just a group of magical girls.

Or as the weebs call 'em "Mahō shōjo "

And then they munch on their Pocky which they say is the best snack to their anime girl body pillow.
I mean....I don't think that, I just think it's a good snack because I can grab it with my teeth when I'm deep in a writing session and don't want to stop or when I just want something in my mouth because it feels good.
Yea I dunno, I nibble on straws all the time and I honestly don't know why it feels so calming to me. It just...does.
Damn. Viewers really got called out by that Pocky bit, huh?
Well don't worry. It's just that it's a typically weebish thing to do to eat them while talking about anime. You can eat them casually too.
You were some form of rodent in your past life then.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I don't know if you remember but the LAST person who suddenly felt ill and told me she was fine turned into a statue and then eventually fell in lava.

I don't think-

sdY1PGTm.jpg


...

Fine.
Click to expand...
..This is baaaadd... (getting out of character for a moment, this scene made me really anxious and uncomfortable because I remembered something about a dark timeline when Melia got hit with a pebble-makes more sense with the context. also it's nice to see you caring for someone in this game)
It's fiiiiine. Every story with time-travel has a dark timeline that eventually gets fixed so there's no real danger.
Also I care for loads of people in this game! If I didn't most of them would be dead by now!


Derogatory Trainer said:
VScwOQSm.jpg


Huh.

That's actually a pretty cool line, Viv.

Props.
Click to expand...
I need to steal that for a story later, it's good.
Just make sure whatever character does it, stabs the person in the back and not the front like that idiot, Vivian.
Derogatory Trainer said:
Good.

I've raised you well.

Every single dance move after the internet became popular is terrible.
.....I have no idea what any of them are but this feels inherently correct.
Only one I know the name of is the Fortnite one and I sent a letter asking Parliment if I could beat any child I see doing it.
They said no and to allow kids to be cringe so we can embarrass them in their late teens.
Which is fair.
At least they agreed that anyone using TikTok over the age of twenty and under the age of twenty should be strangled.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Or is it his life energy you're draining?

What does Giga Drain biologically drain from them?

Can't be blood...
Maybe like, the energy from the sun? because things eat other things and get a percentage of the energy which came from the sun...yea I'm sorry, was looking at photosynethesis and how it works earlier.
You're thinking of the move Synthesis.
The percentage of solar energy you'd get from a living being is miniscule and wouldn't heal half as well as the weakest Absorb.
It's almost definitely nutrients seeing as the enemy also gets drained.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Awww.

I was hoping you'd be so overwhelmed with emotion and mutual trust that you'd turn into a Sean-Tangrowth...

mKF18ZFm.jpg


We'll see what she throws out, then I'll make my decision.
Click to expand...
What would Sean Tangrowth look like....darker vines and glasses?
eIYmfmM.png


I have no fucking idea. Ash-Greninja doesn't even look THAT similar to Ash so who knows what the fuck that form even is other than yet another gimmick Game Freak dropped as soon as they came up with it.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Well no matter, Caesar's put in a lot of hours during this run so he deserves it.

Respect your senpai, Zolt.
...must resist making a jab at that....
What, because I don't give him any respect?
I'm not the RESPECTFUL Trainer you know. Being Derogatory is all I know.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Aha! It's probably got Solid Rock as an ability!

That takes a 1/4 off whatever super-effective move hits it regardless of the 4x multiplier.

PNIJ8KLm.jpg


Essentially, yes.

It's pretty telling that it was introduced the same generation as Rhyperior was.

Not that it matters. We'll heal enough from each Giga Drain to weather all it's attacks until it's beaten.
Click to expand...
That ability is such an IDIOTIC one and I really hate whenever I see it on stuff I plan to use because it is ENTIRELY USELESS. Ugh.
While it should be buffed to take half off a 4x effective move it certainly isn't a USELESS ability.
If not for it, Camerupts and Rhyperiors wouldn't stand even the slightest chance against any Water Type.
Even a Luvdisc could take them.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Oh shut it.

Everyone already knows you have Sturdy to survive it.

But I'll do them one better.

C2TeYtUm.jpg

Click to expand...
YAY FOR BALLOONS
THE BEST ITEM FOR ELECTRIC TYPES!
Derogatory Trainer said:
O5daEhIm.jpg


My finger is ON your OFF switch, Zolt.

There is a limit to how much robotic sass I can take in one sitting.
Click to expand...
does hitting the switch just turn off his personality? because if it fully shuts him off wouldn't that basically be fainting him?
It shuts him off completely but he can easily be restarted, like a computer.
Fainting would be dropping the computer off a cliff and into the sea.

Derogatory Trainer said:
axMt9jQm.jpg


Whoops.

I tend to assume it's a gym battle when all the types are the same
Click to expand...
Oh so I'm not the only one whos mixed that up.
I think for me it's just been so long since I HAD a gym battle.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Far more interesting than a white-oval-in-bigger-black oval eyed Pikachu clones that crop up every generation.

Mimikyu and Marill are the exceptions because they at least have different typing.

(Even if Marill is the most like Pikachu evolution-wise.)
helps that Mimikyu is something of a mockery of pika-clones and it is an adorable little demon of terror. I love my mimikyu~~
Well GUESS who's getting a Mimikyu at the end of this aaaaarc?
Derogatory Trainer said:
Use Discharge instead.

g2UeeM4m.jpg


...

Are you serious?
Click to expand...
...my magnezone learned discharge at like early 40's....what gen are pokemons movesets based off for this game and why does THE GIANT MAGNET UFO NOT HAVE DISCHARGE
I have no idea. I don't have the movesets from back then so he might even have HAD Discharge.
But the only sensible reason I could think of for using Electro Ball of all moves when writing the chapter is that he didn't have the move at the time.
Like I fucking hate Past Sean but even he's not THAT retarded.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Ofdy53Hm.jpg

XtuHm8mm.jpg

Y56x115m.jpg


It's okay, buddy. I bought plenty.

I'll give you a new one after this fight.
Click to expand...
Awww...that's actually pretty sad...I wanna give Zolt a hug (also nice job using the actual eye- the red circle is it's eye.
I...I know it's an eye?
What else would it be OTHER than an eye?
I know there's not a 0% chance that some people thought it was a nose...
But those people are retarded.


Derogatory Trainer said:
89H6fVTm.jpg


Fairy? I think?

Lemme check.

54fARflm.jpg


Nnnope!

Seems to be Psychic.

So Psychic and Rock types are Vivian's theme?
Click to expand...
The only thing i know about that pokemon is that I am utterly scared of it for embarrassing personal reasons.
Embarrassing personal reasons, you say?
Well now you HAVE to tell me.


Derogatory Trainer said:
YQqNN98m.jpg


Uhhhh...

Can I have a sec to make up an excuse?
Click to expand...
I just mumbled caesars line that and could not stop laughing at the accent I gave him.
Huh.
I don't think I ever gave my Pokemon voices after all these years.
What accent was it?


Derogatory Trainer said:
Now let's see which stat is greater...

Intelligence or Wisdom.

FRrQa21m.jpg


That's just your biased opinion, you lofty lemur.

In my opinion, wisdom and intelligence don't matter much if you get punched in the face.
Click to expand...
This is just reinforcing my idea of you having a STR-CHA Build.
Ah yes. The handsome caveman build.
While I'm very flattered by your addition of Charisma but I fear it's not true.
None of people I deal with in this game ever listen to a word I say.



Derogatory Trainer said:
zEbVgRsm.jpg


MIND CRUSH!
Click to expand...
YES!! MIND CRUSH THE FOOLS! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! (i looove this reference!!!)
Well there's more to come before this arc is over.
Including an actual game of Yu-gi-oh.


Derogatory Trainer said:
1k4LzoOm.jpg


What the-

DAMMIT STAY OUT OF MY MEME REFERENCE FOLDERS! ONLY I CAN USE THOSE TO VISUALLY ILLUSTRATE A POINT OR EMOTION!
Click to expand...
THEY'RE LEARNING! AND YOU ARE JUST MAKING IT EASIER FOR THEM TO USE THOSE FOLDERS.
WHO ARE THEY LEARNING IT FROM!?
NONE OF THEM SHOULD BE COMPUTER LITERATE!


Derogatory Trainer said:
WHAT IS THE COST HERE!?!
Something I have been trying to prevent ever since you appeared on the radar....all of those paradoxes I fixed....all for nothing....
Fixing paradoxes must have lousy job satisfaction when you think about it.
If you did your job right, nobody will ever have noticed. I certainly haven't.
So I'd say stop trying for now.
Just wait until the ending and fix the mistakes you noticed along the way instead of going after them as they pop up.


Derogatory Trainer said:
UNHAND HER, SHADOWS! YOU WILL NOT TAKE HER FROM ME!

JeAJlpvm.jpg


Gah!

What the hell was...?
Click to expand...
Ahhh!! No I can't stop it! (OK THIS IS FREAKING IRL ME OUT)
But why would you?
This is the timeline self-correcting itself and removing Aelita because she was now never born.
...
I'm starting the think the universe does your job FOR you.
You're just sitting watching it happen and at telling people "Hey! See that? You're WELCOME."


Derogatory Trainer said:
So is Aelita black like Amaria now?

knNNIv7m.jpg


OH DEAR GOD NO!

BPpVokam.jpg


AELITAAAAAAA!!!!
Click to expand...
(SHE GOT THANOS SNAPPED!! FUCK!!) No! I can't keep them from- dammit SEAN WHAT DID YOU DO?! How are so many paradoxes forming?! Why can't I stop the flow?
DAMMIT DO YOU EVEN KNOW WHAT A PARADOX IS!?

Derogatory Trainer said:
LOOK! SHE SAID SOMETHING WAS TRYING TO GET HER AS SHE WAS BEING ERASED!

I HAVE LITERALLY NO IDEA IF THIS UNIVERSE GOES BY FUCKING DOCTOR WHO RULES AND TIME PARADOXES ARE DEALT WITH VIA GIANT TIME-EATING MONSTERS!

IF YOU HADN'T ALREADY FIGURED IT OUT I AM IN WAY OVER MY HEAD WHEN DEALING WITH THIS TIME MAGIC BULLSHIT!
Click to expand...
I HAVE TOLD YOU OVEER AND OVER I'M THE ONE WHO FIXES THE TIME PARADOXES!!!
WELL YOU'VE DONE A SHIT JOB SO FAR!
I CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER A SINGLE ONE YOU'VE FIXED!


Derogatory Trainer said:
Waaaaiit, wait, wait.

Those fucking Time Amulets!

We still have ours so we're immune to whatever bullshit butterfly effect is going on!
Why do I have a feeling that isn't going to last long....probably because I just saw them cra-
Must have been your eyes playing tricks on you. They're still as flawless as ever.
Also you might want to have actually played the game before making these statements because there's something that's got WAY more time bullshit coming up.


Derogatory Trainer said:
DAMMIT MELIA, YOU JUST HAD TO GET OBSESSED WITH SAVING SOME FUCKING STRANGER, DIDN'T YOU?

BECAUSE OF YOUR STUBBORNNESS WE'VE CHANGED THE FUTURE!

AND IT'S A FUTURE WITHOUT AELITA!

I.E. NOT WORTH LIVING IN!
IT'S ALSO THE WORST POSSIBLE OUTCOME. THAT'S IT NEXT CHANCE I GET I'M GOING TO ACCIDENTALLY LET A PARADOX ENGULF HER
OH NO!
NOT MY MELIA!
...
Wait...


Derogatory Trainer said:
sF3OBZMm.jpg


MARK MY WORDS! I SHALL RETURN AND FIX THIS!

AND I'LL DRAG VIVIAN ONTO THE SACRIFICIAL ALTAR MYSELF IF I HAVE TO, EMOTIONS BE DAMNED!

I SHALL RETUR-
Click to expand...
NOOOO FUCK THE PARADOXES ARE OVERWHELMING THE OFFICE I- Connection to Paradox Roxy has been terminated due to Paradox Overflow.

Good luck. your going to need it.
Oh good.
The evil bureaucracy of Time Lords has been destroyed and the universe is free from their evil once and for all.
All hail Davros.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Because now I have loads of action shots and expression photos I can use for Rose in this Nuzlocke.
WELL. That's fun!
And now I just have to do the UN-fun part and edit out all the backgrounds.
It's fucking 11:51....whyyyy....
Dang, you should do what I do with these replies and copy paste them into a notepad document so I don't lose them if the draft system fucks up.
Like quote what you need to quote, hit that [ ] icon to turn it into basic text and save that away for later.

Also, I know my little roleplaying may have been a bit much but it's THIS part of the game where things got so headache inducing, I kind of wanted to set it up NOW so I can stop myself from having constant headaches again.
and...also because it's fun, plus I get to act like I'm watching this occur, however small an effect that is.
It was a bit, yes but it was a smart idea to disconnect from the office at the end so you don't have to keep it up throughout the whole arc.
Well...you ARE watching this occur but from more of a movie-watcher's point of view?
I dunno.


Revan4221 said:
“I’m sorry who? I don’t know who that is. Sounds like something or someone you would be shipped with.” -Is what I would joke about if I was constrained by something so petty as time. Retroactively deleting someone has no effect on those beyond the Fourth Wall!
I'm assuming your the other person who Sean complains about being time crazed.
I fix PARADOXES, which involve time AND space Sean! I can't time travel freely, only to paradoxes! otherwise that'd be a cheap plot device.
Teleportation-and bending the fabric of space- is much easier
No I was referring originally to Time Master Eon. He used to dabble in that stuff back in the day but I think he's retired now.
Revan is just mocking me due to him being behind your safe audience viewing glass where none of the bad things in this Nuzlocke can actually get you.

...
Then why did Griselda turn into a Giratina? Or why does Timpea even have Time Gears to hand out?
I thought that these were the actual POKEMON turned into women by the Garufans and then left alone in the world to LARP for Garufan Reality TV or something.
Like why else do they have Groudon and Kyogre locked in jail cells?
So they can eventually turn them into sexy gijinka women because that's apparently what the Garufans were into.
The sick freaks.
Because Jan is weird. I don't know man, all I know is that I have a theory. One I will not say because it involves spoilers to explain. Regardless that's just what they are, normal princesses who got fucked with by Garufans pumping them with magical steroids until they became replicas.
Fair enough.
I'm going to keep denying it so people reading this won't know WHO to believe.
Me, the trustworthy Nuzlocker?
Or you, the wrrrrretched commeter.



TIME DEMONS GOT AELITA!
"I'm sorry who? I don't know who that is. Sounds like something or someone you would be shipped with." -Is what I would joke about if I was constrained by something so petty as time. Retroactively deleting someone has no effect on those beyond the Fourth Wall!
NOOOOOOOoh okay.
Must be nice all the way back there.
I'm stuck leaning on the opposite side of it, so while mostly safe, I'm still in the splash zone.

So, I pretty much immediately failed to keep up to date with this the moment I started commenting...
Damn you FF14 for being so good
I usually avoid MMOs for that very reason.
If I find one I actually liked I'll be way behind on everything else in life.
This temporary one chapter a month posting must be helping you out a bit though.



You know I was completely confused about what you meant here.
I thought you misspelled Decide before I read on and understood that you meant killing Gods.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Great to have you! Always nice when you lurkers finally decide to start commenting!
I know it's been over a month, but thx lol. :)
You're welcome.
The month was my fault.
Doing chapters during summer is a total drag.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Don't worry I don't fall for Clear's shenanigans a single time.
...
Okay MAYBE once but it was just for a funny joke.
This reminded me, meant to ask if you played through the sidegame Where Love Lies as well (either just like a regular run or to also post),
since I'm guessing this Part will end
After the rift Aelita fight
Also I feel like I might have an idea when that joke will be
I did play it yes. Very depressing.
MIGHT do it during the break between Part 3 and 4. Just have to figure out how I'm gonna do it due to nobody I know being there.

Yep. It ends after that picture of Melia declaring that she was going to beat Madame X (hilarious)
I will neither confirm or deny when or what you think that joke will be.
But it'll be a long while before we get there.


Derogatory Trainer said:
It could have something to do with it taking a lot more than 7 minutes to run here.

And that's not including how long it took to abort that Deoxys baby and discuss parenting techniques last chapter.
I'm convinced time in this universe works the same as D&D, where a fight scene of a few seconds includes hours of tactics discussion and messing with turn order that half the people just spend on their phone.
It's certainly not related to real-time, that's for sure.
I'm 6 years older than I was when I started yet everyone around me hasn't aged a day.
Dang. Shouldn't there be like a little 1 minute hourglass the DM guy has that'd speed things along? There's only so much time you should get to react to something happening.


Derogatory Trainer said:
aov7dTFm.jpg


"Yes. Let's all take a minute to consider the scientific theory behind magic goddess gijinkas and figure this out."

Sounds like a very productive use of my finite time on this earth.
Click to expand...
Well time spent having fun is never wasted time...
...
Which would be the exact opposite of this discussion.
I'll just slap on one of the million Youtube Pokemon theory videos as background noise while I'm editing and not pay attention to it.
That's good enough for me.


Derogatory Trainer said:
And yes.

It's pronounced like diarrhoea.

This is canon now.
This is giving me very uncomfortable flashbacks to when I once heard someone pronounce "Gracidea" like "quesadilla" and that still hasn't left my memory.
A....aha...haha!
What fucking idiots!
Why they're almost as bad as someone always pronouncing Melia as MEE-LEE-AH in their head!
...
It's me. I pronounce things like that.
I pronounce quinoa as Quin-noah and I WILL NOT BE ASHAMED OF IT!.


Derogatory Trainer said:
What the FUCK is even the point of you then?
Even in terms of the plot, I still have no clue TF their point is outside of their entire plan with saving and recruiting Melia.
In terms of stopping Storm-9, we've just fucked off from this group and instead have started our own with the league with blackjack and hookers.
One of the problems with this game is that a lot of the characters feel a bit superfluous.
Like some are fine for fleshing out the side-quests and world but Alice and Allen don't really feel like they should be here.
And then I fucked off from THAT group because they had the fucking gall to suggest I needed "training".


Derogatory Trainer said:
QcrYe03m.jpg


Because the only way I want to go back is on top of a falling nuclear bomb.
Click to expand...
How about we put Flora and these two right below that nuke.
Well that seems like it'd be less fun.
I'd rather kill three birds with three different stones, you know?


Derogatory Trainer said:
AND I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF IT "GOT CHANGED IN V13"! IT DIDN'T GET CHANGED FOR ME, DAMMIT!
Travelers from the other timelines are going to have a field day figuring out what happened in this mess of a timeline. If only there was somewhere they could read about it all...
...oh wait!
They can't read the Nuzlocke though. Only higher beings like you lot can.
And then the next tier above that is me, the guy writing it.
Jan is somewhere above and below me since (if I really wanted to) I could change his story completely but he could stop making the game and end it all prematurely.


Derogatory Trainer said:
VrFIqz4m.jpg


Melia, you fucking pussy.
Click to expand...
Honestly I'm agreeing with Melia here, and this was the moment that I started to consider Deicide an option instead of just capture. When you ask a question like that out of nowhere, you're setting the other person up to fail either way.

Either they go with the majority lives, and you can make them feel guilty about who the person they lose, or they go with the person close to them and you can hold it against them that they'd let many die. There's no winning in that scenario. As you said in your rant very sane discussion on this, most would say "depends" because nobody is prepared to just make a choice like that.

Agreeing with Melia? In MY thread? You are a bold one.
I see your point though. It's very easy to flip it on a person and make them look like the bad guy.
"Wow, you'd kill THAT many people, Melia? You're such a psycho bitch" or ""Wow, you'd let your family die for strangers, Melia? You're such a psycho bitch".

Oh and Deicide is pretty much what I'll be going for with the capture plan.
If they don't have their godly powers they aren't really gods, are they?


Derogatory Trainer said:
tcFpXZlm.jpg


I...I don't think I'll even need godly powers or the Red Chain to defeat these two anymore.

I think I could probably trick them into doing it for me with a limerick.
Click to expand...
Since they're technically deities, just make a typical overly vague pact but you don't even have to try to make it completely in your favour.
I don't trust deals with ANY supernatural beings.
Hell I don't even trust deals with most natural beings.
I'm just gonna steamroll them without any trickery.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Why was it that time stopped when these things were removed from the area by Grovyle but restarted when they were brought to Temporal Tower?

What was the motivation behind hiding them across the world instead of just leaving them in Temporal Tower, where they did the job better?
I've always seen it as the time gears never having been supposed to be hidden around the world, but always were meant to be in Temporal Tower. They just were moved one day, likely due to a scheme of Darkrai (since you bringing them back to the tower was the opposite of what he wanted) or possible moved out of the tower as an emergency measure when things started going wrong, which just caused Temporal Tower to break. The power of the gears still kept it stable across the world, but the removal just accelerated it in these areas.
That's just my theory on it though.
God yeah I forgot about Darkrai's involvement with the whole plot.
It's a valid theory so I shall accept it.


Derogatory Trainer said:
'S weird how we never leave all at once.

We always have to do it in turns.

Guess Pokemon battling has a bigger effect on us that we think...
Well can you imagine just looking at someone you're walking with and suddenly having to battle them, every single time?
I'd just always walk alone.
Hahaha that's a funny thing to imagine. Just even a side-glance is enough that you're obligated to fight that person.
But if that were the case I think sunglasses would be a lot more popular than just Scott from the Battle Frontier and Bladestar wearing them.
You'd have plausible deniability with them.


Derogatory Trainer said:
ntVOXrjm.jpg


Although I did find Carnage in Sheridan...

Maybe he's descended from the Heracross that lived here?
Click to expand...
Just be careful not to kill any random Heracross here, might paradox Carnage out of existence.
Whoops?

Derogatory Trainer said:
Have I been misreading the meaning behind the words being orange this whole time?

Instead of being something important, they're just the character saying something in a sing-song voice?
This has convinced me to go back through this run at some point and find all of these completely unfitting singing dialogues.
Same.
I think the orange text only became a thing in Part 3 though so you won't have to look that long.
...
Ignoring how Part 3 is more than 50% of this Nuzlocke so far of course.



Derogatory Trainer said:
We need more MAP MATH.

NOTHING MAKES A GAME MORE EXCITING THAN KNOWING HOW FUCKING FAR THE PLAYERS ACTUALLY HAVE TO WALK!
*starts making a game without scale theory where it takes a week to go from city to city and takes decades to create*
It probably wouldn't take as long as that.
At least with the first 4 Pokemon games since they're based on locations in Japan.
A trained walker can walk like 20-30 miles a day and trainers basically spend more time walking than they do battling so it's not too ludicrous.
At that pace it'd take me 10 days to walk from the bottom of my country to the top and there's plenty of cities in between.


Derogatory Trainer said:
C7bhKe3m.jpg


Oh believe me, miss.

The pleasure is alllll mine.
Click to expand...
cackles maniacally knowing who you're hitting on
I really should have known better.

Derogatory Trainer said:
That'd ruin the secluded mystical valley vibe going on though.
I bet Texen's all for that.
He would have been a better character if he actually was an oil obsessed Texan like I said.
All he is now is a whiny prep brat that doesn't actually know Kung-fu.


Derogatory Trainer said:
A9Y0hpLm.jpg


Wait, her NOT being a homicidal religious zealot is scaring you?
Click to expand...
I mean, if someone who you've only ever known as a cold blooded murderer turns out to have been nice in the past, I would still keep my guard up knowing what they'd become.
I just keep my guard up non-stop until I'm alone. Seems like the most prudent choice when there are characters with legitimate super speed in this game.
Also Angie being a murderer depends on whether or not you consider maids people.
Especially whether you consider GARUFAN born maids people.


Derogatory Trainer said:
8tasToZm.jpg


I too, say something generic to say about going over there!
Click to expand...
Alright, I think it's time we go there.
WE SHALL PROCEED TO THE DESIGNATED AREA AT THIS TIME

Derogatory Trainer said:
Oh Goddammit!

I've been hitting on Eldest this whole time, haven't I?!
It's finally time for Youngest. ;)
Uhh...well YOUNGER Eldest, you mean.
Youngest is child Eldest.
Younger is 15 to 30
Middle-Aged is 30-50
Elder is 50-70
And Eldest is 70-DEATH.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Wow.

It's depressing that lawyers still exist.
Phoenix Wright will remember that.
More like Phoenix TRITE!

godot-coffee.gif




Derogatory Trainer said:
0ZdHO0Ym.jpg


I'd slap them on the shoulder and tactfully say; "S'matter with you, fuckface? You look like your whole family just died in a fire! Hahahaha!"
Click to expand...
internal screaming
S'matter with you, fuckface? You look like I just made a reference to some future chapters that non-players wouldn't know about! Hahahaha!

Derogatory Trainer said:
If it makes shitmons viable then it is a genuine wonder in my book.
As a Samurott fan, I completely agree. Made using it so much fun on my last run when it usually falls behind.
Crests are honestly such a big plus that this game has, so many pokemon you'd just never use are actually good now similar to what megas did for some. (Also swept Samson with a crested fire Oricorio that run because fuck that thing is broken against him on inverse field with +1 to offensives and speed.)
Finally having Sacred Sword isn't worthless on Samurott!
I only wish they were in they were in the game from the beginning and not as late as V11.
I also wish I knew how to create them to make my own.
I'd swap Tangrowth's Atk with Sp.Def and have it work the same as Big Root.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I too, say something generic about wanting to help!
Let's go help!
HELPING GOOD. ME DO.
Derogatory Trainer said:
Or would that technically be the "next time this happens"?
Why does this make me want to do a whole "Next time, on Rejuvenation!" scene that spoils the whole next episode for no reason?
As long as you do it in a "Next Time on Dragonball Z" voice you can spoil whatever you want.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Arceus ignored her calls?

But what was the source golden light then?

Her own power?
It was just Arceus blocking her after spam calling its number for 100 nights in a row.
AaR6V9c.jpg


Derogatory Trainer said:
What a hack.

I fucking hate him.
I know right? Despise that guy...
-someone who was definitely not me
Someone should do something about him.
He's becoming too powerful.

Oh, before I forget...
Wanted to mention I named my Haxorus Rose in honour of yours in my v13 run. :)
Grinded money for half the game to afford buying her with arcade coins in GDC, and she was one of the most vital members of the team.
Haha, good on you!
...
Unfortunately, being a product of Nintento, Rose takes copyright very seriously and a fleet of lawyers will be breaking down your door with a cease and desist any moment now.


Ok, finally got time to do the other chapter.

It's going to be the "stupid overly complicated plan" again, isn't it?
I mean, is there any other kind of plan outside of "punch everything that moves until it doesn't anymore"?
One with magic, I suppose. But that's still loosely under the "hit everything that moves until it doesn't anymore"
I hear tell rumors of a new school of magic called..."diplomancy"?
Not sure what kind of fireballs you can create with that but if it works, it's valid enough for me.


I miss Akuwa Town.

There wasn't any ancient civilisation shenanigans there.
Ah yes, getting abducted by a horde of overpowered flying xen members, those were the best of times!
Huh.
I completely forgot about the bird men Team Xen has.
Why did they only use them once? Did they all fly south for the winter?


Stab the book with a snake's fang? Pull a sword out of a hat and stab the diary? Whatever the third method to destroy them was?
I've actively tried to forget the story of those books/movies, so I actually had to think about those methods for a bit to remember them lol.
I remember the second movie in explicit detail because we used to rewind the VCR so it played Colin Creevey's terrified face over and over and for some reason that was the funniest thing to me and my brother when I was 8.
tumblr_lyqwwbQMsh1rn95k2o1_250.gif


I'd classify our behaviour on this mission as meddling, not horrible.
And she would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn't for you meddling kids!
Hah!
What a shame we stopped her from getting away with her suicide, huh?


AND THE WORST PART WAS THAT IT FUCKING WORKED!
I don't mean with this to be another "v13 did this better" comment, but Neved straight up sees "her" wolf down food like a wild animal in her room when he walks in because she thought leaving her Zoroark disguised as herself while she explored the castle was a good idea. AND NEVED DIDN'T QUESTION IT! (her actual disguise was fine though, Neved's still just an idiot)
I've seen it and I don't understand how the disguise works. Like she gets hit and it breaks? Why can she do that? She's not a Zoroark.
I do like the idea of Neved spreading the rumor that Melia eats like a pig in a trough throughout Team Xen though.


Can't your god learn every move or something? (No)
...why do I now want an Arceus with the stupidest moveset possible?
Like, imagine a shadow Arceus that's really hard to catch and then purify, but then just gets the most random moves.
Gear Up, Splash, Celebrate and Hold Hands is my suggestion for most worthless moves.

M5JdiODm.jpg

Yes, we figured that out from the name.
Click to expand...
GASP
How could anyone have predicted this!
It's also a fucking LIE.
There are zero Pokemon in the tall grass. I went back and checked just there.
It's a wasteland devoid of any Pokemon but those 4 Heracross.


Guess God REALLY wants us to pick up Heracross shit.
Welcome to Rejuvenation: WoW edition, because for some reason there's always one quest involving shit in every expansion.
There's just one guy at Blizzard with the obsession and he has juuust enough pull to get one put into every update.

If only Melia's parents went one letter lower this could have been something great...

But alas.
Well thanks, now I can never forget the word "Nelia" ever again...
It's a name, I'm sure.
Probably pronounced Nelly-Uh though and not Knee-lia.


Seas are more of a neutral zone since they mostly only attack if we're actually IN the water not on a boat crossing it.
That's only because you see the surface!
Underwater, ever ship has an endless war for dominance going on with constantly attacking pokemon, it's a miracle more ships don't end up like the Oceana!
I imagine the Oceana was a special case due to the terrorist group armed with alien legendary clones attacking it.
Regular ships probably have a few strong Water Type trainers to smack away any curious Gyarados or Sharpedo.


EqKR9Thm.jpg

EYWty4vm.jpg

Click to expand...
Don't worry carnage, you'll just end up in an alternate version of your family with completely different personalities, completely different memories from you and more money, that would probably lead to a horrifying situation right after the credits once they notice you're acting weird.
(seriously, that part of the movie has always felt uncomfortable to me, since Marty ends up with basically a different family)
That's very true. He ended up in a very lite version of Biff's 1985.
But I'd say it wasn't THAT different if the picture of them going to Disneyland still exists. After all, they still live in the same house.
And it's still a net positive because his family is a far improved one since Lorraine wasn't raped, George isn't pathetic and his brother and sister are still barely characters so who cares?


Well it turns out if you just beat natives hard enough they eventually stop resisting.

Damn.
British actively taking notes
Didn't work on the Irish though.
They kept trying and trying until they eventually got it.
And without the luxury of being on the other side of the planet like everyone else.


They've all been irradiated by Cella's stupid bomb getting into the water table?
Nah, it'll just end up with the cops that thought infinite nuggets were a good idea.
It began long before her time then.
Maybe that Miera region was full of dumbasses that swarmed over to Aevium?


WHAT KIND OF PRANKS WERE YOU LITTLE MONSTERS PULLING BACK IN THE DAY!?!!?
The kind that gets lots of views while probably ruining people's lives and relationships, then only responding with "just a prank bro".

I never actually got a nickname in school.
Still better than getting called "ostrich" until I was like 12 because of my last name being similar to it in Dutch, even though it basically meant strong.
I mean...ostriches are strong.
Strongest bird I know of anyway.
Could have been worse. I remember on a school trip to Spain, this guy in my class threw birdseed at some women accidentally and he was forever known as Seedsy. Or one guy with a potato shaped head was called Spud.
The best one was one lad emigrated to Australia but came back within a month due to homesickness.
We called him Boomerang.


But of course, those geniuses at Gamefreak thought Meowth needed 3 regional forms and a new evolution line!
And this is exactly one of the reasons why meowth is just one of my least favourite pokemon ever.
I bet you can't wait for Paldean Meowth.
Huh. I never thought about who my LEAST favourite Pokemon was...
Game Freak themselves?
Because they somehow went even worse than Dynamax with fucking Terastalizing.



NUTRIENTS!

Giga Drain absorbs the nutrients of the opposing Pokemon to lower it's health.
So this is what I now imagine it doing...
(Couldn't find a version of this that would actually play here)
Bit like that yes.
But more...vampirish?
Like the victim turns slightly gaunt after it's used on them. That's what I always imagined it as.


That is the most confusing Rhyperior I have ever fucking battled.

It tanks super-effective Special Attacks...but gets blown away by a physical?
Yep that's sandstorm for you...
Both the Rhyperior and Tyrantrum got +50% special defence, which combined with the solid rock and resistance they respectively had, heavily weakened your special attacks.
Genuinely never knew Sandstorm worked like that.
Don't think I ever used it for myself. Was never big on weather effect strategies.
Usually the "just hit them harder" strat worked out alright for me.


Sure it's weird as hell but it's a unique and original design based on the Nazca lines in Peru.
I knew the design always felt familiar and liked it, I just never connected the dots! I like Sigilyph even more now. (if only it would be better in battle)
Hopefully Jan makes a Crest for it or something.

Intelligence or Wisdom.
Charisma.
-Your local warlock
You know what? I agree with you.
Being charismatic is so powerful people in our strictly non-magical world believe in the those televangelist healers can actually heal the sick for a "small" donation.
Either that or wisdom is the most lacking and yet most necessary stat of all.


I SHALL RETUR-
And so this arc begins.
Yyyyep.
Let the good times roll!
Might be overdoing it a bit with how much I comment.
Hey it's graaaand.
Ever since I started taking a week to do them instead of powering through like I used it, long ones are completely fine.
...
As long as they aren't like a thousand quotes with the equivalent of "lol" underneath them.
I'd tell that person to fuck off.

The saga has ended...
Now we just wait ten years for a terrible reboot because that's Hollywood baby!


Derogatory Trainer said:
I'll just assume Pocky is a lot more easy to buy in America and you don't import it directly from Japan.
And when i say "assume" I mean "hope".
Oh yeah, I would never import it.
You can literally find Pocky in almost any grocery store; it's usually right next to the instant ramen and teriyaki sauce.
Well I suppose that's to be expected.
I've been to an American grocery store before and it's like they go on forever compared to the ones we have here.
No wonder you have a better selection to fill all that space.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Ah yes. Good ol' Yellow. Where Pikachu gets pissy if you lose a battle. Fun times.
I'm more of a Totodile guy but I also went with Chikorita for reasons I don't remember. Maybe the anime influenced me somehow?
I think the OG starters line-up (Being the first ones I ever picked in the games) went Squirtle, Chikorita, Mudkip, Chimchar, Samurott, Tepig, Chespin and Litten. If I was to choose the two gens I didn't play it's probably be Sobble and Fuecoco.
I always loved the animations you'd get from your Pikachu, and I'm still finding new ones occasionally.
I found out there's an animation for when Pikachu learns Thunderbolt/Thunder when I was nuzlocking it a few years ago!

Oh for me it was Pikachu (would have picked Charmander if had to though), Chikorita, Torchic (but then I kept losing to Brenden so I restarted the game to go pick Mudkip just to spite him), Turtwig, Tepig (OG Black), Snivy (Black 2), Fenniken, Popplio, and Grookey; I'm currently leaning towards Fuecoco too - I feel like they're just going to turn Sprigatito into an man in a fursuit again.
I should replay it myself one of these days. I don't think I ever got further than Misty when I borrowed my neighbours version before I got Blue for myself. I only ever remember him being pissed off at me because I was 4 and not good at video games due to not knowing they existed until that point.

Dang only the one water type? What will that one NPC near the GTS in Jubilife say about you?
Oh yeah Sprigatito will definitely be bipedal. Too much furry bait for them not to do it.



Derogatory Trainer said:
Oh good luck! Hope you annihilate him!
I've postponed my run for a bit since I saw a hack that included Gen 8 Pokemon. Might even roll it back from an earlier save.
The bigger thing is that the Rejuvenation Crests are included in that hack so...y'know...VERY tempted by that Defensive Infernape Build Crest.
Well I certainly annihilated his field if that's what you're saying - I SURE DO LOVE FIGHTING PSYCHIC-TYPES!!!
Huh, wish I'd known about that hack earlier - sounds really cool. Definitely something to check out for a different playthrough.
It feels like these two games are saturated with them, doesn't it?
It only came out a month or two ago but it seems pretty neat.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I can only hope they game you pick isn't Rocket Red Edition. Because that's the one I'm probably doing.
You know now that I think about it the origin doesn't even have to be 100% about Pika.
Whatever happened to her Dad for instance? Could be something there too.
Oh no, I think I'm just doing a regular 'locke of Fire Red/Leaf Green - just with a twist on the narrative.
You know I do have some stuff in mind for her dad, but nothing too concrete just yet. I don't think I'll do a full nuzlocke for him though.
Could always find a Rom Hack that's Pokemon Yellow in FireRed/LeafGreen graphics? That might be cool. But it's whatever.
I'll still end up reading it anyway.
...
He's Ash Ketchum, isn't he?
THAT'S why you're called Pika! IT ALL FITS!



Derogatory Trainer said:
I never actually saw it in action until recently myself. Always thought it was a weird move that always failed but it turns out my Pokemon were just slow as balls and never outsped the Pokemon using it.
To be fair I knew about it before I just didn't know what it did until I used it in my run.
Damn good move though.
You'll be cursing it soooooon enough!
Mwahahahaha...hah...aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


Derogatory Trainer said:
But yes, you're right. Glad that your memory is fuzzy on it though! Makes reading this all the more pleasurable, I'd imagine.
It's funny because I remember so little of the game because it's been so long since I played some of these parts myself that when you get to certain areas I just feel a rush of dread because I remember how much of a struggle they were for me, like Darchlight Woods for example.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I still demand a page in the yearbook!
...
That's a thing, right?
Most of my American High School knowledge comes from Heathers/Mean Girls.
I think so? Most of my American High School knowledge also comes from movies.
I was homeschooled for my High School years so I didn't get a traditional yearbook, and I don't think we had any pages like that for my Elementary School yearbooks...
Yeah, I remember.
Surprised you got them in elementary school though. I thought that was just something from the Simpsons...



Derogatory Trainer said:
I think there's multiple parts of Arceus in this game so maybe Angie is referring to one of the different pieces?
Yeah you know what? You're probably right.
Reborn and Rejuvenation share a canon right?
I guess so? I think it was mentioned that Reborn is like 5 years before Rejuvenation. But who knows what's canon in this loopyland of a Nuzlocke? Rejuvenation could turn out to have been set in the Pikaverse Nuzlocke canon for all I know and YOU'RE the standing champion of Reborn.
(Can't imagine you'd stay for all that though with you being the official Champion of Sinnoh)
Hell I'm even debating whether I want to stick around afterward. There's not many characters in Reborn you could actually say are your friends.

Derogatory Trainer said:
But it was meant to symbolise the brakes.
Why do I have to choose when I can just stop the cause of the problem? Why does NOBODY ever say, "Fuck you" and pick that option?
...
Also you can't change the tracks from the train.
... Oh.
Listen with these trolley problems it always has to do with swapping tracks, so I didn't even consider the breaks! You can't blame me here!
As far as I'm concerned, all trains actually have a lever on the roof that acts as an override for the entire track - you can't change my mind!
Gotta think outside the box, Pika. Outside the whole point of the trolley problem even.
My teacher really hated me in those Ethics and Morals type classes.
I just refused to entertain her and said I'd jump onto the tram and pull the brakes.
I don't need to change your mind.
You already know the truth.
And it will haunt you until your last day on earth.


... I'm gonna let this go because it's funnier if I don't have an answer.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Compound Eyes and Super Luck, Pika!
If you strategically put one of your Pokemon with that ability into a coma (let it faint but don't count it) you can use a Pokemon with Frisk to speed things up nicely.
Unfortunately I don't have anything with Compound Eyes 🙁
Also I can't do the "coma" thing because after E19 came out I used the nuzlocke password, so any Pokemon that faints can't be revived - it was to show I'm not skirting the rules.
Oh damn.
You're going hardcore.
...
Although I suppose it's easier since you can continue on after wiping.
Shit.
Now that that's an option I'll have to do it as well. No more acceptable grinding "accidents" for me and Mako.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I wish they'd leave that shit out of fictional stories about men wearing tights beating each other up. Like why do they have to darken fantasy with reality? It's so cheap of them to use actual tragedies just for pathos and to sell comics.
I suppose I am seeing this from the perspective of a non-American so it'd be different for you.
Oh don't get me wrong, I agree! But I still understand why it was done.
Eh, I only have foggy memories from that day so it doesn't affect me as much as people that were older; still tragic what happened though. My biggest memories form that time were like I mentioned before about being worried about planes and that I stayed home from school for a few days.
Also that my mom and aunt were freaking out, so I remember going outside to pick flowers to try and make everyone happy again - I had no idea what was going on at the time.
I suppose it would be a major shock to the older group.
And while all that's terrible I can't help but laugh at what a wholesome child you were.


Derogatory Trainer said:
nws4d9dh36151.jpg

Is THIS where his mouth is?
Click to expand...
... Did you strip an actual Tangrowth figurine?
That's horrifying and totally in line for what we know about Caesar.
Nah I found this picture online. Don't think I ever saw a Tangrowth in the bowling alley gacha machines where I got most of my Pokemon figures.
Shadowification, man. It fucks you UP.
I'm pretty sure Chiller isn't even a Vanilluxe and is just an ice-cream given life by some Xen goon accidentally dropping his cone into a shadow goo vat.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Yes but they were never in an organised group with a name before.
Until...Team...Sean...FUCK.
...
Also the Tuxedo Mask parallels crashed into me like a freight train when I read that sentence.
OH GOD WHAT IF MELIA IS SAILOR MOON!?
SHE'S BLONDE, AN IDIOT AND SHE HAS A SPECIAL TRANSFORMATION!?!
WILL NO-NAME'S CURSED OTP BECOME REAL!? WE CAN'T ALLOW THIS!
You're gonna have to embrace it Sean, the only way to make it out of this alive is to accept your inner Tuxedo Mask.
I guess it's all aboard the Sean x Melia train 😔

God rest your soul.
Damn...not like this...
NOT LIKE THIIIIIIIIIISSSSSSS!!!
It's also pretty bad timing as well since this is the start of the "Sean eases up on Melia" arc.

Was that "God rest your soul" a joke?
Because knowing what we both probably know...feeeeels like a joke.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Jeeez...
Your iguana is living like a king while the outside lizards are mere peasants.
How do these thing even survive on their own?
I even just bought him a whole new cage; he's got vines and branches and I even got his waterfall working again! (It needed a new pump.)
I mean he'd probably survive on his own just fine if he was in his natural habitat, but iguanas weren't made for the dry desert - the heat would be fine if I put him outside, but he wouldn't last long without humidity 😟
The pampered iguana in all his glory. He even has his own water feature.
I hear they're hard to care for though so I guess the spoiling is more "if I don't do this he will die".


Derogatory Trainer said:
Although thanks to SOMEONE making me realise things, I might end up having to change the buff barbarian look for a top hat, mask and a tuxedo now.
Hey! Buff barbarians can be sophisticated too.
Sophistication is the literal ANTI-THESIS of being a buff barbarian!
Like there can be a brainy buff barbarian but a sophisticated one?
You might as well be some noble warrior at that point.

God yes it is, that's part of the reason I took so long to put out Chapter 13 of my run.
It's been over 100° where I am (that would be over 38° for the non-Americans) and I don't want to do anything.
And for once I can't give a wuss answer about how hot it was here in comparison!
It was 33° degrees here the day I posted that. Hottest temperature we've gotten in 130 years.
Only relief was that it wasn't humid. I ain't no iguana.


Derogatory Trainer said:
OH NOW YOU SUDDENLY GAIN THE ABILITY TO SHARE IMPORTANT INFORMATION WITH THE CAST, SPRITE SEAN!?
YOU COULDN'T TELL VIVIAN ABOUT THE FUTURE SHE SAVES BUT YOU CAN TELL PEOPLE ABOUT HOW WE WERE SPYING ON A WOMAN IN THE BATH!? HUH!?!
It feels like that soulless husk you use as an avatar only speaks up to spite you.
And honestly that's hilarious.
For now it is.
Later on it's rebelling starts becoming an actual problem.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Damn it, those always backfire, people!

Why don't you do what you lot are best at and emotionally manipulate her into telling you!?

Use every dirty trick in the book!
oeErccmm.jpg


Puppy dog eyes, silent treatment, acting moody for attention, the works!
Click to expand...
... You know I hate to say it but yeah, that does in fact work.
The female side of the sexes is a pathway to many abilities some consider to be...unnatural.
I was planning to say that I'm immune to such tricks but that would probably be a lie. I don't think many of them work on me at least.


Derogatory Trainer said:
1BhQ36dm.jpg

Fhm0biem.jpg


Gee.

I wonder who among us has experience in both stealth and reading people's private books?
Click to expand...
Finally, all those years of reading other people's diaries has reached it's apex.
Seriously though; what is up with Reborn and Rejuvenation and reading people's diaries!? Does it happen in Desolation too? It better!
The cycle cannot be stopped now.
Every Pokemon fan game that starts with an R has diary reading in it.
I even saw a game called Pokemon Secret Diaries once. No idea what it's about but I recoiled in disgust from it immediately.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Can't your god learn every move or something? (No)

Would an Arceus knowing "Thief" be considered blasphemy? (It can't learn Thief. I just checked.)
... You know it feels wrong that the god of all Pokemon can't learn every TM/HM but a floating pink cat fetus can.
That's why the Mewish religion claims that they are their god (Mew)'s chosen people and that Arceus is a fake god trying to emulate Mew.
After all, what god can't do every move of the beings it claims to have created?
That's what it says in the Fainted Sea Scrolls at least.
...
This might be canon. Not just in my Nuzlockes either.
Like I could easily see a bunch of wacky Sevii Island people worshipping Moltres, couldn't you?


Derogatory Trainer said:
RcjajSUm.jpg


YOU DON'T EVEN POOP, CAESAR, WHY ARE YOU IN HERE?!?

bbUcwj0m.jpg

5SuSExzm.jpg


...

bxoA1UWm.jpg


I know, right?

Does he ever think maybe we want to get away from HIM!?
Click to expand...
I love how almost every cutaway gag that involves Caesar has him being annoyed or inconvenienced in some way.
Poor guy just can't catch a break.
His life is a never-ending cycle of annoyances that help him forget the worse cycle he used to be a part of before I found him.
So you see, I'm actually heroic for bothering him all the time!


Derogatory Trainer said:
gzNtrRem.jpg

tcDWm6dm.jpg

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That'd be a very inspiring and morale boosting thing to say, Aelita.

pQ7ipZvm.jpg


If y'know, we weren't here solely and specifically for their shit.
Click to expand...
Why in the world would they even be upset about you taking their shit? Is it some sort of sacred thing to them or something?
All you should need to do is say "I'm literally just here to pick up some of your feces" and they should be happy about it!
I think they'd be more weirded out.
Imagine a bunch of teenagers barging into your home specifically to steal your feces?
It's too strange an occurrence to let it happen without objecting as a reflex.


Derogatory Trainer said:
You heard it here first folks.

Beating up wildlife makes Melia feel better about herself.

ZwoUdV6m.jpg


Let's make a unnecessarily big deal out of this like they did over that lion that got shot by a dentist and send her death threats!
Click to expand...
Wait. I thought you were gonna make a Harambe joke here; did a dentist actually shoot a lion?
...
Well damn.
E74sqQU.png


If this is what you're referencing - yeah fuck the guys that arranged the hunt.
It's one thing to hunt and it's another entirely to lure an animal out of a protected area; it looks like the dentist was mostly ignorant about the whole thing though, so he shouldn't have been getting death threats.
I'm more against the whole social media outrage over it all.
Like "Oh noooo a famous lion got killed thousands of miles away! Quick everyone reblog this so we can all cry about something very far away and doesn't affect us about for social points".
Africans who actually live with the lions don't give a shit because it's a fucking lion that eats people. And not just that, it was at nearly the maximum age for lions anyway so he would have been killed off in a year or two by a younger male.
The ironic thing is that killing Cecil scared off all the other hunters that were allowed in to keep the population under control so Zimbabwe had to pay to cull the 200 extra lions that popped instead of being paid by the hunters to hunt the lion.


He'll be fiiiiine.
It's just a little history re-writing, it happens.
He'll be back up and singing "Johnny B. Goode" in no-time.

Derogatory Trainer said:
CrEf4s6m.jpg

padDKMym.jpg


Those darn trouble making kids, huh?

I know how you feel, Melia.
Click to expand...
Oh yes, don't you hate it when yhose rascals start giving people evil spell books and spreading their heretical ideologies?
Those darn kids!
WHY DO THEY KEEP CALLING KANON A KID!?
SHE'S 17 AND HE'S TALLER THAN HER!
HOW OLD DOES HE LOOK?


Derogatory Trainer said:
VdnKpuSm.jpg


I assume the plot for Pokemon Conquest?

I genuinely know nothing at all about that game aside from it being a bit like Final Fantasy Tactics or Ogre Tactics.

Was a Pokewar not the premise?

I'm sure Oda Nobunaga was involved somehow, given how the Japanese cream themselves at the mere mention of him...
Click to expand...
No you're right, it was about Pokewar.
The goal was to conquer all the kingdoms in order to unify Ransei in order to meet Arceus; your army was up against Nobunaga and his army.
But a pussy version, right? Not like AZ's war where people and Pokemon were dying so much he made a doomsday device to get them to stop.
I wonder if there's any rom hacks for it...might give it a try someday.
Starring my noble ancestor, Seangeru Miyamoto...


Oh OF COURSE one of the stupid space god bitches was behind this.
Who the hell else could it have possibly been!?
Still... why Aelita specifically?
Aelita too stronk.
Either that or Jan needed her out of the way so Melia could FINALLY get the spotlight for a change.


Derogatory Trainer said:

Oqs77kCm.jpg



Wiiiiiith yoooooouuuu~
Click to expand...
See? He's fine!
... So do your box Pokemon just get together and throw parties/concerts when you're not around?
I was hoping nobody would question this joke because it doesn't make sense if you think about it otherwise.
We'll just say Carnage travelled back in time to get his parents together with Dawn, Bass and Reinhard's help due to an older version of his mother's stalker using the Timesplicer stone to go back in time and get his past self to fall in love with her so he doesn't die alone.
THERE.
THERE'S YOUR PLOT TO THIS SIMPLE JOKE.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Cella...did you make chlorine gas?

WyDrcSkm.jpg


WHAT KIND OF PRANKS WERE YOU LITTLE MONSTERS PULLING BACK IN THE DAY!?!!?
Click to expand...
All the best pranks involve someone getting hurt you silly goose 😌
It's not funny otherwise!
I don't know about that...
To me the best pranks are the ones where the prankee is an idiot and when you do them with someone else.



Derogatory Trainer said:
Also as one final minor rant that I may have gone into before;

Why is Poison Sting a physical move?

vZHFbS8m.png


They depict it as a purple barrage of needle lasers.

At no point do they actually stab a Pokemon with a big stinger. Why is that?

Censorship? Do kids not get stung by bees in Japan?

The fact that bees sting and then die is one of the first things most people ever learn about insects!
Click to expand...
Yeah I'm gonna throw my hat into the censorship ring.
I feel like the initial concept was definitely just the Pokemon straight up stabbing someone, but they probably didn't want to show their cute animated creatures stabbing/being stabbed - so they went this route instead.
Makes me wonder why they were fine with biting, scratching and setting on fire but getting jabbed by a stinger was a big nono.
Like just have the spike be purple and jabbed into them.
I guess you could also argue that rocks being throw don't count as special moves since they're physical objects...


Derogatory Trainer said:
q9HFuYvm.jpg


Well...now we know for sure why Kanon wasn't allowed to come here.

It's...odd though.

He seemed genuinely annoyed about not being allowed to come...but he's the one who started this chain of events?

He didn't seem to know any of this though.
Click to expand...
I mean... there is time travel.
Maybe the Kanon that gave her the book was a future version of him; one where he's more black magic obsessed.
You're basically right but you've got your tenses wrong.


Derogatory Trainer said:
iEMsVUA.png

I wouldn't call her suit "armor" after seeing this.

She's never been shown to have magic powers (even that Kamehameha she shot at me was from a laser gun, I think?)

Lady in red...that could work but Red seems to just be her cape.

And mask...it's more of a helmet, no?

IoFRrO2m.jpg


So maybe there's some other bitch pulling Kanon's strings? Someone we haven't met yet?

Hmmm.
Click to expand...
You know, you actually make a good point.
I have a feeling it actually is referring to Madame X (the helmet is close enough to a mask and the red cape is pretty prominent) but I would totally give Jan props if he did a rug pull like that.
Like if he was subtly dropping hints that there's a greater evil out there while Madame X (while still having her own machinations) was just a distraction.
It probably is Madame X now.
Kanon's diary doesn't exist in later version so there's no "Lady in Red" just "Lady in the Mask".
Doesn't explain what we know of his past though.
I'm also not liking the possible eventual reveal that Madame X was secretly the good guy this whole time and we're idiots for interfering.
That'll just suck.


So she's definitely going to go do something rash right?
No one just has their suicide plot revealed only to just go sulk somewhere.
Amazing to think if someone just locked the fucking door after they came in, this whoooole problem would go away.

Derogatory Trainer said:
8az4T4Rm.jpg


Well nobody's felt how I have either.

Dying sucks, Vivian.

You wake up in a black void and then get sent to a cottage by the sea where some mysterious goth waif tells you to wake up and keep fighting.

...

That happens for everyone, right?
Click to expand...
I actually think I'd be okay if that was the afterlife; just enjoying a peaceful eternity on the beach.
... I could do without the goth roommate though.
This is literally the first thing that popped into my mind after reading your reply.
ZfkNENh.jpg

Derogatory Trainer said:
Vivian, if I had a nickel for every time someone threatened to eliminate me for standing in their way...

I'd have at least a dollar.

I...uh thought nickels were worth more than 5 cents when I wrote this sentence.
Don't feel bad, it used to screw me up when I was a kid too.
THE BIGGER COIN SHOULD BE WORTH MORE THAN THE SMALLER COIN DAMMIT!
I know how you feel.
These were the coins I had when I was growing up.

il_570xN.1529740759_kl4b.jpg


Fucking all over the place in sizes. The 50p isn't even a circle!
...
I oddly miss them though. Back when you could buy a sweet from your grannies' store for 2p.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Oh neat, it makes the anime movie noises.

That's a good touch.
I find it hilarious that Regirock and Registeel make these robotic beeping noises, and then you have Regice and Regigigas just saying their names in a really screwed up tone.
Don't forget the dulcet tones of UN UN UN.
That's my favourite noise of the lot.


Derogatory Trainer said:
ml5PUemm.jpg


There we go.

...

Oh that one Venam gained was for getting herself turned into a statue and kicked out of the story.

I really appreciated that.
Click to expand...
So how in the world did Saki get three stars?
She DID build me a lightsaber some...110 chapters ago?
It was enough for three stars.



Derogatory Trainer said:
And how the fuck do you pronounce Regice again?

5eYXWglm.jpg


Reg-ice? Regi-ice? Re-gice?

ijyBu9fm.jpg


Well whatever.

I'm calling it Regi-Ice like a sane person would.
Click to expand...
I think it's actually supposed to be pronounced "Reg-Ice," but that's dumb and breaks up the name theme.
I won't stop calling it "Regi-Ice" just like I won't stop calling Arceus "Ar-See-Us."
Yeah! Fuckin whatever "OFFICIAL" translations are out there!
Game Freak never has any idea what they're doing so why would they here?
C'mon Aryados, ManTyne, Aaron, Feeown, Renickulous...let's get outta here!


Derogatory Trainer said:
o6jkWSEm.jpg


*GAAAAAAAASSSSPPPPPPP!!!!*

X4OkeDRm.jpg


*GIGA-GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!*

20uPvERm.jpg


That's right, Cella!

She just laid the most brutal put-down imaginable!

...

Fooooooor a five year old girl.
Click to expand...
Nobody actually believes someone when they do this right?
Like they're obviously just trying to push you away so you'll let them do what they're trying to do; it always annoys me when this happens in media and they take it personally.
I'd hope not but you never know the depths humanity can sink.
Yeah it's genuinely infuriating when shit like that is brought up for ~draaaammmaaaaa~


Derogatory Trainer said:
mrt5Sksm.jpg


I THINK we're only T for Teen right now.

The only iffy part is that I swear a LOT more than a T for Teen game.
Click to expand...
With the amount of times you've said "fuck" that would automatically bring this up to an M-rating.
At least in the US, it might be different elsewhere.
You're probably right. I just remember M being for games with nudity in them and we haven't had any of that yet unfortunately.
I've definitely got to do a recount of how many times I said it after the Part 3 Finale.



Derogatory Trainer said:
6JcmzVnm.jpg


WE ARE SO IN-SYNC THAT YOU CAN READ MY VERY MIND!

WE HAVE FORMED A BATTLE-BOND, MY POKEMON BROTHERRRRR!
Click to expand...
So is Caesar going to gain a not-Mega Evolution that oddly resembles you now?
It would annoy the fuck out of him but sadly I don't know how to make custom Megas.
I should look into it for a joke movie or something.
Derogatory Trainer and the Bonds of Friendship sounds good and guaranteed to annoy Tangrowth.


Derogatory Trainer said:
iDxCFZom.jpg

ZTm209Bm.jpg


It would be just your luck to fight to the only vegetarian T-Rex...

Ah what the hell? I'll return you.
Click to expand...
My money's on this thing either having Ice Fang or Fire Fang.
Why else would she have swapped into it?
Hmmm...I was about to wonder why it'd learn Fire Fang but I guess it would be useful for Steel types.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Wait a second..."choice"...

Wl3em2Hm.jpg


Aha!

Tyrantrum is holding a Choice Band! That's why it used Earthquake twice!
Click to expand...
... Or that I suppose; don't know why she wouldn't have just swapped again though.
Then again the AI could still just be doing something stupid; I thought Ghetsis' Dusknoir had a Choice item in Blaze Black run after all and it just turned out to be dumb.
I don't think the AI was advanced enough back in Version 10 to recognise that it was Choice locked because Zolt was holding an Air Balloon.
Maybe though.
There was one point during the GDC tournament where the opponent's Charizard kept giving me errors every time it did a move so it never landed an attack.


Derogatory Trainer said:
XpppUqzm.jpg


You know...and this may come as a shock to you all...

I kinda like Sigilyph's design.

Sure it's weird as hell but it's a unique and original design based on the Nazca lines in Peru.
Click to expand...
Oh I agree, it's just unfortunately kind of forgettable.
A lot of no-evolution 'mons have that problem honestly.
Don't know how you'd forget something like that appearing before you.
I think the only Pokemon more forgettable than them is Lumineon and Finneon.
Except people remember them BECAUSE they're the most forgettable...


Okay, so I think I'm just having a "girl moment" right now - but this legitimately made me sad.
Please give him another balloon, he was so happy 😟
GOOD.
This Nuzlocke is a version of the Scream Canisters from Monster's Inc. Your emotions when reading help keep the lights on here at Derogatory HQ.
But I will, don't worry.


Derogatory Trainer said:
r9Uj0E2m.jpg


Christ, that thing looks weird.
Click to expand...
I know a lot of people really hate Bruxish, but I kinda like it.
We have so many just plain fish Pokemon, it's nice to have one that's a little more unique.
Do people hate it?
I think it's fine myself. Like a decent version of Luvdisc and Alomolola.
The big kissy lips are a bit weird on a fish though.


Derogatory Trainer said:
ks6fJKKm.jpg


Hidden Power?

Guess it doesn't want to use Psychic moves on another Psychic type.

Thank god nobody uses Sychronise, right?
Click to expand...
Synchronoise is an awful goddamn move and I'll die on this hill.
Teaching my Sigilyph that move was what cost him his life so many years ago 😔
It would be somewhat useful for Oranguru giving that he's part Normal but the fucker doesn't learn it.
It is incredibly niche and strange though. The ability is far better.
Well it was probably a mixture of that and Sigilyph being kinda crap in general...


Derogatory Trainer said:
The whole self-sacrifice thing sounded pretty damn important to the future and I'm not sure we should have stopped her.

Gk3ZcZim.jpg


WHAT IS THE COST HERE!?!

rYdcCism.jpg


What the fuck are you talking about? "At last"?

I've saved loads of people.
Click to expand...
... I suddenly just remembered this part of the game and why Aelita's feeling sick.
Oh no.
It'll be fiiiiiine.
...
Depending on how the time travel works exactly.
Like...is the original Aelita dead and we've got her alternate counterpart or...?



Oh she is about to be slapped HARD by a wake up call.
Also that bitch Spacea is trying to make a point and I'm not happy about it; she's ruining Palkia's good name!!!
All I want to know is what the fuck she told Venam she could do?
Was she hyper specific and mentioned this EXACT scenario she had no way of knowing about?
Well I COULD be wrong about the Sinnoh Gijinka theory but given what Griselda turned into when she was poisoned...it's still the most likely one.


Derogatory Trainer said:
knNNIv7m.jpg


OH DEAR GOD NO!
Click to expand...
AND THERE IT IS!!!
At the very least, she didn't leave a macabre pile of ash.
That would have set me off even worse.


Derogatory Trainer said:
xqKdQ53m.jpg


ERIN TOO!?

BUT WHY WOULD VIVIAN SURVIVING KILL HER OFF TOO?!

NONE OF THIS MAKES SENSE!!!
Click to expand...
... Okay I actually don't remember that happening.
Can't blame you.
Nobody cares about Erin.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Waaaaiit, wait, wait.

Those fucking Time Amulets!

We still have ours so we're immune to whatever bullshit butterfly effect is going on!
OH!
Yeah that makes a lot of sense; sucks that Erin got dragged into this though.
It doesn't really.
The alternate future created from this gets to stay even after we change the timeline back, why does our original one disappear at all?
It's like shouldn't Marty have started disappearing in Back to the Future 2 since his timeline was replaced with alternate-1985?


GARCHOMP SUPREMACY!!!
NEEDED A MEGA-EVOLUTION TO DO IT THOUGH MEANING HAXORUS WOULD HAVE WON IF NOT FOR CHEAP POPULARITY GIMMICKS!

Aw, okay that's actually a sweet callback.
Okay, he doesn't ACTUALLY say that in the episode.
Would have been savage if he did though.


Derogatory Trainer said:
But you know who the real winner is at the end of all this?

Me.
Because now I have loads of action shots and expression photos I can use for Rose in this Nuzlocke.

P7nj4Xem.jpg


Exactly as planned.
Click to expand...
Congratulations!
Seriously though even just from the stills it looks like the animation for the anime got a lot cleaner than the last time I watched it.
Victory for Sean!
Yeah, it's a right pain with some of the older episode since they looked pretty scuffed and low-quality.
How we survived with 480p videos I'll never know.


You know I just looked up Vivian's team and the reason the rhyperior took the giga drain so well is because it's assault vested, plus sandstorm boosts the special defense of rock types. Also weird fact that tyrantrum wasn't choice banded, it also had an assault vest so no idea why it didn't just kill zolt, it had superpower so it could hit super effectively even though zolt had air balloon
There were probably a few changes between this battle and the one you looked up.
I'm playing this on like V10 which was way before the wiki was was made.

Derogatory Trainer said:
ATTACK A HUMAN OUTSIDE OF HONOURABLE TURN-BASED COMBAT, WILL YOU?!
quite literally the hardest i have ever laughed.
Damn, really?
That was pretty much a throwaway line as well.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Damn man.
Does this joke never gets old to you?
It almost certainly doesn't.
Don't reply to other people's replies before they do.
I'm sure it's a breach in etiquette.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Saying that maybe I should have planned my Nuzlockes better and that's it's kinda sad that I've gained the most views yet still haven't actually finished a single run on this site yet?
Idk what he's saying but I am saying that.
Actually maybe it's incredibly IMPRESSIVE I have so many views without a single completed Nuzlocke?
Ever think about THAT?


Derogatory Trainer said:
Good lord, Jan really went overboard with them for that ONE update, didn't he?
Yes, his thought process is incomprehensible to mortals. (Or immortals for that matter)
I think we need to see what he's watching at the time of writing to tell.
Like during Rising Ruby I finally watched Jojo's Bizarre Adventures and it really shows.
Maybe the same rule applies here?

Derogatory Trainer said:
Past-Sean wrote this before he was corrected about it.
Also I'm now instating a new rule that anytime I see a hair colour, everyone is to automatically agree with me about it.
FALSEHOOD
From a certain point of view.
It's not false to ME since that's the colour, I see.


Derogatory Trainer said:
So they can eventually turn them into sexy gijinka women because that's apparently what the Garufans were into.
The sick freaks.
Hey now, antagonizing your primary audience isn't a good thing, you geriatric Deragatory man!
I don't...know which implication is worse.
That my primary audience is a bunch of sick freaks...or that they're all Garufans...

Derogatory Trainer said:
Because we STILL don't have any confirmation on what they fucking want even this far into the game.
Or is it the will of Indriad or something?
Doesn't Gardevoir explicitly call The Calamity "Indriad's Gift" or am I misremembering?

Still have no idea what Team Xen has to do with that though.
Yes.
A very confusing gift at that. Doesn't seem to benefit anyone to end the world.
...
Who knows? I have no idea what the fuck any of their plans were for.
Like...why did they bother with Shadow Pokemon? What was the goal there?


Derogatory Trainer said:
Eugh.
I don't actually read hentai myself.
Press X to doubt.
And that's all you'll ever be able to do.

Derogatory Trainer said:
I thought that was where the "Help me, Step-bro" meme came from?
No, that is from more regular-old porn.
Oh.
I thought it was a Japanese thing to stick your ENTIRE upper body into a washing machine when taking out the clothes even though they're literally designed so it can be done by hand.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I think that is exactly what they'd do.
They'd have me thinking "Wow, there's no way this dumbass is a hyper advanced AI" but they underestimated my paranoia for the last time!
Seriously, a hyper advanced AI would have killed and replaced you already.
And what are you basing that on, hm?
Don't see any real hyper advanced AI around that would beat me in a fight, do you?


Derogatory Trainer said:
They've got an allure up that entices weaker minds.
That's my theory on how they get people to work with them despite a complete and utter lack of any real charisma.
Luckily I was able to realise it before it was too late and resisted it with my amazing intellect.
...
That is no joke what this scene meant.
I unironically buy that you'd be able to resist whatever effect they have on mortal minds.
I am classically stubborn like that.
That, my large ego and pride would refuse any attempt to control me.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Congratulations.
You read too much into a movie reference.
Which movie is it from? I'm genuinely interested.
Doctor Strangelove.
But I actually hate the movie.
I got this reference from the Simpsons originally.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Crescent instantly cured Nim on Terajuma, remember?
It was right after Amber's Gym battle.
Laughs in having played v13
*laughs in trying to fit in but not getting the joke*
Derogatory Trainer said:
My first decree as a free man will be to (ironically) put No-Name in chains for making what I 100% know is a SCP reference again.
Note to self: Make less references since you are the only one who understands them in any way.
More like I have to go to the trouble and learning about what the fuck you're even talking about so I can accurately tell you to stop.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Macross is your spirit animal.
I was thinking you would say the exact same thing after I wrote it.
Still, what he said was, is and will be true.
Well yeah.
I'm not a monster who enjoys when people are depressed.
I'd just prefer if she was happy while I was happy and not when I'm holding the mangled corpse of one of my Pokemon.


Derogatory Trainer said:
That was honestly tame compared to the stuff I deal with now.
Like the Deoxys clones isn't THAT weird a concept for a Pokemon fan-game.
The Dimensional Demon was a bit out there though.
BTW, v13 changed the sequence so that you fight Venam BEFORE going to the forest.
A scenario that makes a lot more sense than "Well you've got to prove you're GOOD enough to help save Melia" even after I just did that in the forest.
It's not just Karrina who's to blame for delaying me back then.
It was probably all part of Venam's sinister plan to avoid being called a creepy for lesbianing a younger girl.


Derogatory Trainer said:
...
This would be well played but you thought my name was weird in the first place so it cancels out.
It is still well-played by me.
*Sigh*
Okay. It was.
It was very well played.


Derogatory Trainer said:
How petty of you to change a word in a quote just so you can make fun of me.
I never said post-Aevium in the actual chapter.
I'm disappointed in you, No-Name.
And I'm disappointed in you for being this bad at humor. What happened to the man whose jokes captivated me in 2018?
He died a cold hard death just like his dreams.
What happened to the man who's comments DIDN'T specifically try to irritate me in 2018?


Derogatory Trainer said:
While I dislike that you pointed out that Melia was the protagonist (what with Tuxedo Mask was Sailor Moon's love interest), this was very accurate with only some slight context differences.
Especially when you consider the Interceptor stuff.
The Core that they refer to later in the game is the planet's core, right?
And you mentioned I can't leave Earth or I'll die, right?
Very interesting that Tuxedo Mask is the equivalent of Sailor Earth, isn't it?
...
Also one addition I'd make is that I'm hanging out with girls a LOT younger than me just like he was.
Like damn.
You both also seem perticularly attractive to evil and/or crazy women.
It's called have good taste and egomania.
It's the feeling of "If I fuck her juuuust right, she'll become a good guy".
I can't think of a more flattering thing than being so good at sex your prevented the world from ending.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Oh save that judgemental "finally", Cella.

I was up late last night watching your Sensei have a baaaaa...aaaa...th.

...

Yeah I couldn't save it.
Sean's adventures sound completely nonsensical when you actually type/say them out loud.
That's why this is a written Nuzlocke.
Couldn't say any of this shit with a straight face if we had audio.

Derogatory Trainer said:
OH NOW YOU SUDDENLY GAIN THE ABILITY TO SHARE IMPORTANT INFORMATION WITH THE CAST, SPRITE SEAN!?
YOU COULDN'T TELL VIVIAN ABOUT THE FUTURE SHE SAVES BUT YOU CAN TELL PEOPLE ABOUT HOW WE WERE SPYING ON A WOMAN IN THE BATH!? HUH!?!

uYXLDjsm.jpg


ARE YOU ACTIVELY WORKING AGAINST ME NOW?! IS THAT IT?

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A TEAM HERE!
Click to expand...
Leave him alone, he is traumatized enough.
I don't show mercy to traitors.
Derogatory Trainer said:
Well it was none of those.

Because those are actually names.

Well...maybe not "Keith"...
Greatest Duelist IN AMERICA, Bandith Keith disapproves this slander.
Like I care what One-Joke-Jack approves or disapproves of!
Derogatory Trainer said:
Stab the book with a snake's fang? Pull a sword out of a hat and stab the diary? Whatever the third method to destroy them was?
For your information it's
1)Basilisk Venom
2)Sword that absorbed Basilisk Venom
3)Fiendfyre
So really it's two things.
Venom and an uncontrollable inferno.
Would dropping it in lava work? Can't see why it wouldn't.


Derogatory Trainer said:
RrRrOl2m.jpg


AND THE WORST PART WAS THAT IT FUCKING WORKED!
Click to expand...
That is often the worst thing about stupidity. It actually working.
Or stupid plans that only succeed because the people you're trying to trick are stupider.
It makes me very tired when I see stuff like that.

Derogatory Trainer said:
jv9uMoBm.jpg


...

bjbHY57m.jpg


Shut up, Dr. Z.
Click to expand...
Dr. Z too smart for Deragatory Man.
Not that smart.
He can't figure out the secret of man's red fire after all.


Derogatory Trainer said:
ATtJQCOm.jpg


Why are you always so concerned about people who are basically strangers?

...

cmo5kDkm.jpg


Is there something wrong with you for caring too much or something wrong with me for caring too little?
Click to expand...
I think it is both.
Sean is overly sociopathic and Melia has a Chronic Hero Syndrome.
I'm pretty sure I have the latter one too.
I just mention the option of not bothering with something instead of being gung-ho about it.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Leave it to me!

I'm great at luring women out of their hom-

...

8w12QHcm.jpg


Y'know, what?

I'm gonna stop talking right here.
Click to expand...
Why do your lines sound so weird out-of-context?
Because I intentionally write them as such so that I can be quoted five years later and be #cancelled.

Derogatory Trainer said:
YOU DON'T EVEN POOP, CAESAR, WHY ARE YOU IN HERE?!?

bbUcwj0m.jpg

5SuSExzm.jpg


...
Click to expand...
Ceaser continues being relatable.
There's probably better places to be alone than the bathroom that everyone HAS to use at some point, you know.

Derogatory Trainer said:
We're all in agreement not to tell anyone in the future about how we beat up some innocent Pokemon for their poo, right?
Considering social media (presumably) doesn't exist in this time period, you're safe from the "Offensive Tweet from 2012" that famous people are so vulnerable to.
It was more a verbal agreement between the four of us that we wouldn't mention this should they ever make a movie about our exploits.
That stuff really doesn't matter anyway considering how much gets memory-holed nowadays. Just ignore whoever complains and it'll go away.


Derogatory Trainer said:
My god, did those uncertain amount of years as a Pokemon Professor's adopted daughter teach you NOTHING?
Considering her knowledge about Pokemon, yes. All those years taught her nothing.
Can't fully blame Melia for that.
I remember that note Jenner wrote where it took him 3 years to evolve his Klinklang.
Took me thirty minutes.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Please somebody ban her before she ruins my amazing K/D ratio.

uQL1c1Qm.jpg


Jesus Christ...

I actually have a K/D ratio in this fucking Pokemon game.
Click to expand...
What is it? x to 4?
I don't remember how many people I've killed off in this game.
I'd sooner remember how many breads I've eaten in my life.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Where the fuck does that chimney outside even lead?

There isn't a fucking fireplace in this house!
Ask Jan
What was the point in quoting this part if all you have to say is basically "I dunno"?

Derogatory Trainer said:
And isn't that just what my Key Items Pocket needed?

ANOTHER magical artefact of unknown power!

7jv1UCVm.jpg


I swear to god, I'm going to trip over something one of these days and this bag will rupture, wiping out a significant portion of the planet.
Click to expand...
Seriously this bag is like a museum for supernatural shit.
I should charge admission.
...
Although that would probably just result in me paying myself to open my own bag.


Derogatory Trainer said:
But on the bright side, it also proves that Garufan magic IS heretical and not natural at all.

So at least I can take solace in that while I'm worrying about what to do now.
That should have been deduced from the products of it. (Crests, the whole "sacrificing Pokemon for magic powers" in general & also your dear Abomination.)
I thought they were Arceus worshippers originally.
Like Indriad was some Garufan shaman. There were a lot of those symbols in his house during the prologue.


Derogatory Trainer said:
"Time."

God I've really come to hate that word now.
I don't.
"No-Name."

God I've really come to hate that person now.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Why does something about a pebble to the head during time travel adventures feel...familiar?

Like...I know I've seen it in a movie aaaaages ago but I can't remember which one...

I'll look it up when I'm done here.
On the (likely) chance you didn't, it's Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban.
I did.
Go fuck yourself.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Those aren't normally trustworthy actions.

It's more of a sign that I have mental problems.
They are trustworthy in Aevium though.

Mental problems actually allow you to blend in with the local population.
But I never DO blend in.
There are too many unwritten rules these people have that I don't know about since I never had a Pokemon childhood.


Derogatory Trainer said:
You wake up in a black void and then get sent to a cottage by the sea where some mysterious goth waif tells you to wake up and keep fighting.

...

That happens for everyone, right?
Define "waif" please.
Skinny girl?
Like WAIF-ER thin.
Huhuhuhuhuhuhu.

Derogatory Trainer said:
That being said, we haven't seen what Hazuki can do with Steel yet.

Metal-Bending?
I legit don't remember
Seems like Anju got the best deal out of the powers.
Vivian can sense the earth but she can't Earthbend? What a gyp.


Derogatory Trainer said:
even more obvious masturbation bait NPCs!
What? I haven't been keeping up with Pokemon news so can someone explain this?
I don't know what anyone would have to explain to you?
Surely you can figure it out for yourself?


Derogatory Trainer said:
Okay yeah that settles it.

The 'Protectors of Aevium' are definitely just a group of magical girls.
Again, you're their Tuxedo Mask.
Hmmm...maybe I'm the new generations?
Most of the original group are either dead, old or brainwashed into being crazy by my time.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I guess being a "Protector of Aevium" makes you take on aspects of the region itself.

The main aspect being "dramatically nonsensical".
Shit that makes too much sense.
That it does.

Derogatory Trainer said:
I need SOMEONE to balance out the hate.

It isn't fair that I put all of that work on Rose.
Along with me & Ceaser.
You incite the hatred, Rose quells it.
Caesar is more neutral.

Derogatory Trainer said:
It's over, Vivian.

You have the high ground!
Yeah the high ground didn't do much for Darth Maul now did it?
DSdQCMgW0AIZNqG.jpg

The power of the High Ground only matters on the user's POV.
Maul wasn't trained in the mystic ways of the High Ground so he was powerless against it.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Fl9TDc8m.jpg

Ofdy53Hm.jpg

XtuHm8mm.jpg

Y56x115m.jpg


It's okay, buddy. I bought plenty.

I'll give you a new one after this fight.
Click to expand...
Why is Zolt so emotionally attached to Air Baloons? Is it just crippling fear of the ground?
Ask Jan.

Can you explain exactly what Dr. Z had in mind for this plot?
What do YOU think he had in mind?
That was the point of the joke. You at home get to decide what you think he meant.


Derogatory Trainer said:
zIemMfNm.jpg


Yeah, mind explaining that part as well?

Did you specifically tell her you were going to go back in time an prevent a woman from killing herself and maybe dooming the future in the process?

What kind of fucking conversations do you two have when I'm not around?
Click to expand...
Do you really want to know what the two lesbian idiots talk about?
Well if they're as prophetic as the conversation where Melia said she would do all this then yes.
Yes, I'd be very interested to know what they're saying.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Tv39Juhm.jpg


...

What the fuck is she seeing right now?

WHO can't have her?
Click to expand...
Tiempa?
I really don't have any other guess.
Seems like an odd reaction.
Like how does Aelita even know what's happening to her?


Derogatory Trainer said:
MARK MY WORDS! I SHALL RETURN AND FIX THIS!
This should be your catch-phrase.
Sorry. That spot is filled by "Wait, what?".
...
Sure it's no "Cowabunga" or "Eat my shorts" but it's probably what I say the most.
...
Well that and "fuck".

That better not be that damn Baby Shark theme...

Derogatory Trainer said:
I mean Texen flirted with Aelita and Geara pushed me into an open volcano...
Not really sure those two crimes are exactly equal, you know?
I was talking about the attempted murder of Eldest by pushing, her an old lady, into a river... imagine she had died... Aelita would not only be furious but Texen would have been a criminal or at minimal charged for attempted murder. You never remembered that part, did you ?
Nobody ever dies falling down a waterfall in Pokemon, Bernag.
Surely you knew this by now?
Even in the anime they just fall off with whatever Pokemon got caught in the river and spend time away from the group so they can bond alone.


Pfft you expect that to work ? its not like i have mass production and tons of them ready to go... oh wait i do.
I CAN BREAK AS MANY OF THEM AS YOU POST, BERNAG!

Derogatory Trainer said:
FF6VIrTm.jpg


Whatever, I'll just use a Focus Sash instead.

Hopefully none of those fuckers I call my Pokemon will need it later.
Click to expand...
AH A PRIME EXAMPLE
MK2.
unknown.png


This will not be the last you seen of it.
qgeAG9Y.jpg

The Sign-Breaker does not fear the Sign.
It is the other way around.
Also it's not really foreshadowing a Pokemon's death. It was just a throwaway line.
...
OR WAS IT!?
...
Yes.


Derogatory Trainer said:
uYXLDjsm.jpg


ARE YOU ACTIVELY WORKING AGAINST ME NOW?! IS THAT IT?

WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE A TEAM HERE!
Click to expand...
JAN IS INFECTING IT. WE HAVE TO FIND A CURE BEFORE IT ALSO MAKES THEM A MELIA SIMP
That will never happen.
I don't simp for anyone. I call a cunt a cunt when I sees it.
Nobody is immune. Not even Aelita.


Derogatory Trainer said:
DJ8wzK3m.jpg


By asking her straight up!

...

YVRXEaEm.jpg


*Sigh*

We're not going to be doing that, are we?

It's going to be the "stupid overly complicated plan" again, isn't it?

slT5mlQm.jpg


Damn it, those always backfire, people!

Why don't you do what you lot are best at and emotionally manipulate her into telling you!?

Use every dirty trick in the book!
oeErccmm.jpg


Puppy dog eyes, silent treatment, acting moody for attention, the works!
Click to expand...
This is Aevium... common sense doesn't exist here
I didn't suggest common sense did I?
I suggested using womanly wiles.
The exact opposite of common sense!


Derogatory Trainer said:
TaYpHnLm.jpg


It's fine.

Valarie's still brainwashed into being Lois Lane and only she (for some unknown reason) can lift the mining ban.

Even though her water shows were the reason it was stopped and she's been gone for months at this point.

LuNGS52m.jpg


It's as stupid as it sounds, yes.
Click to expand...
sigh... and point proven of common sense not existing here...
Either that or there have been several mysterious miner "drowings" in Akuwa Town that suddenly stopped when Valarie got her way...

Derogatory Trainer said:
KtZHwVSm.jpg


Do we?

We met her for like an hour yesterday and you want us to risk it all (well actually nothing at all) to help her?

...

Yeah, that sounds like something you'd do.
Click to expand...
Melia style mission ? sigh... yup...
Nah. A Melia style mission is one where you rely immensely on plot armor (also known as Sean) to get through the day and to taunt the bad guy at the end so they get a second win to humble Melia.
...
That's the NEXT mission we do.


Derogatory Trainer said:
And since you have all the stealth skills of an avalanche, that's going to be me.

dyfb9gIm.jpg


This happened before we met but her idea of infiltrating Blacksteeple prison was to walk up to the front door and hope nobody in the organisation dedicated to capturing her would look at her face.

For three days.

RrRrOl2m.jpg


AND THE WORST PART WAS THAT IT FUCKING WORKED!

jv9uMoBm.jpg


...

bjbHY57m.jpg


Shut up, Dr. Z.
Click to expand...
no Dr.z its Called a miracle for not only working but for Blacksteeple guards being that dumb.
He would counter that she could have been relying on the negative IQ of the average Aeviumite to pull it off.
And it's not a bad angle to work with.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Say, Cella?

Can I pull on your face to check if it's a mask?

L0o9cAnm.jpg


Because I'm now 45% sure you might be actually Veronica in disguise.
Click to expand...
personally i'm 35% sure its actually Madelis. With how her plans went so far i would not doubt her standing so low for a plan like this.
Madelis would never hide her (self-proclaimed) beautiful face.
She's far too shallow for that.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Py5peK6m.jpg


S.E.A.M TEAM SIX, LET'S ROLL!

xyjz5asm.jpg

sDwsT0gm.jpg


...

S.E.A.M Team Six?

sDwsT0gm.jpg

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Eventually being left behind like this all the time is going to start hurting my feelings.
Click to expand...
YEAH GO TEAM SEAN SI-awwww... why do they always leave. We gotta find a better Team sean Six
Sadly there's not many "N" characters that I'd want on the team.
Neved...Nastasia...aaand that's about it.


Derogatory Trainer said:
6BghyaHm.jpg


Aaaaand that's the end of Carnage's ancestral lands!

I'm guessing they moved somewhere bigger later on?

Now what's going on up ahead?
Click to expand...
actually in v13 (yup again) the area is changed to have like a small maze with some noise traps made by the heracross, so they know which way enemies or prey are going.
Oh so Ilex Forest basically?
Well not in THIS timeline!


Derogatory Trainer said:
gzNtrRem.jpg

tcDWm6dm.jpg

jc2ed5Wm.jpg


That'd be a very inspiring and morale boosting thing to say, Aelita.

pQ7ipZvm.jpg


If y'know, we weren't here solely and specifically for their shit.
Click to expand...
... why we doing this again ? not like why you collecting poop for a stink bomb but like... continuing this ploan...n
That's a severe typo to make at the end there.
I know you meant "plan" but how the hell did you get "ploan...n"?


Derogatory Trainer said:


etdYnbqm.jpg


IT'S ALRIGHT, MELIA!

WE'LL STILL LOVE YOU EVEN IF YOU'RE A FUCKING FREAK
Click to expand...
Ahhhh. so satisfying to use diplomacy once in a while. It calms someone soul.
Shame it NEVER works.
Everyone is just too spoiling for a fight with me in this region.


Derogatory Trainer said:
b1vlOaEm.jpg


Uh...

Wow I hadn't actually considered that.

...

Also I'm pretty sure I told you not to mention that specific strategy in front of the audience.

But regarding Carnage...

toy96SAm.jpg


I'm sure it'll be fine.

What's the worst that could happen?
Click to expand...
... Carnage being deleted from existence and you being left without one of your best future mega pokemon ?
IT'S A RHETORICAL QUESTION, BERNAG.

Derogatory Trainer said:
9PIzLGfm.jpg


I can't really blame her for it here though.

I'd be trying to prove those god bitches wrong too if they told me I couldn't do something.
Click to expand...
i think we all would. Nobody likes to be told what they can't do.
The epitome of the human spirit right there.
"Don't do this thing"
"But what if I DID do this thing?"


*it appears once more*
unknown.png
qgeAG9Y.jpg

SO DOES MINE!
Derogatory Trainer said:
xJIVth8m.jpg


HEY!

THAT'S MY AELITA, YOU FUCK!

uUMEWFVm.jpg


ATTACK A HUMAN OUTSIDE OF HONOURABLE TURN-BASED COMBAT, WILL YOU?!

ESPECIALLY ONE THAT I LIKE!?

THE TREATY IS NOW NULL & VOID!!!

yx4xDSSm.jpg


THE WAR STARTS ANEEEWWWWWWW!!!
Click to expand...
Welp... the future is fucked now that we restarted the poke wars...
I wouldn't be so quick to call us a "we", Bernag.
Who knows how deeply I'll drag our names through the mud in the future?

Derogatory Trainer said:
VdnKpuSm.jpg


I assume the plot for Pokemon Conquest?

I genuinely know nothing at all about that game aside from it being a bit like Final Fantasy Tactics or Ogre Tactics.

Was a Pokewar not the premise?

I'm sure Oda Nobunaga was involved somehow, given how the Japanese cream themselves at the mere mention of him...
Click to expand...
close... its basically you have 1 kingdoom related to 1 type and have to conquer all the rest to bring peace to this region.
I'm guessing the Fairy clan were killed off due to being "kinda bullshit"?

Derogatory Trainer said:
You see guys, THIS is why you have to all get me an Audino for Christmas. (Whenever that is)

If we had one of those, we could heal Erin with it and she would feel instantly better!

I1sBHwxm.jpg


NO!

IT NEEDS TO BE AN AUDINO!
Click to expand...
IF NOT AN AUDINO EVERYONE WILL RIOT.
I CAN'T BELIEVE MELIA EVEN FUCKING SUGGESTED A CHANSEY!
THE NERVE OF THAT GIRL!

Derogatory Trainer said:
THE FUCK WAS THAT ABOUT!?!?

WHY'D SHE GIVE AELITA THE AMULET IN THE FIRST PLACE IF SHE WAS JUST GOING TO STEAL IT BACK!?!

Dh7hvKZm.jpg


SHOULD I PRETEND I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT BECAUSE EVEN THOUGH I SAW IT, SPRITE-SEAN DIDN'T?

GOD THESE FUCKING SEAN-LESS CUTSCENES GET ON MY NERVES! THAT'S SOME IMPORTANT INFORMATION I CAN'T TELL ANYBODY ABOUT!
Click to expand...
i think she gave to Aelita to prevent any waste of time or question at their location like...
"Oh why you only giving it to me and Sean but not Aelita?" it would take hours and make the amulets so suspicions i bet Melai would have given hers to Aelita.
True. That would have been super suspicious.
She could have just said "I only had the two on me" but even that is pretty sus.


Derogatory Trainer said:
QEpOw6Dm.jpg


Heh.

Melia had to pick more poo that necessary.

Today can't get any better!

kSsIk4Dm.jpg

dRFTdZmm.jpg


YYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYEP!
Click to expand...
of course Melia would pick up extra poop. You saw how much she wanted it.
I couldn't have written it more perfectly if I tried.

Derogatory Trainer said:
TpHgjjsm.jpg


Wait a second, you needed to fucking BOOKMARK the page with the spell you're going to kill yourself with?!

You'd THINK you'd remember the page number of something like that!
Click to expand...
some people are just forgetful. but yeah Vivian that is also a bad call to have the bookmark in plain sight. I would have wrote it in a piece of paper and hid that somewhere so this would not happen.
Well she DID hide it.
And I wasn't born yet so she wouldn't have had the warning they give out to every person who buys a book in one of my Nuzlockes.
"DON'T LEAVE WRITTEN EVIDENCE OR SEAN WILL FIND IT!"


Derogatory Trainer said:
Md3ttjFm.jpg


Wait, you knew enough on the subject to make notes?

Why would you need to make notes on it anyway?

Is there actual magic math involved in doing these spells?
Click to expand...
UGHHHH THEY EVEN RUIN MAGIC. LIKE DON'T ADD MATH TO THAT IT MAKES IT SO CONFUSING
Yeah I've never been fond of the whole "mathmagician" type of magic.
Funny words and gestures is better.


Derogatory Trainer said:

leIPaPBm.jpg


Unfortunately the rest of us can't say the same.

This always fucking happens when someone runs away.

We stand in complete fucking shock until they've ran halfway down the road.
Click to expand...
She used flash + Thief combo... completely rendering all 3 targets useless for a few seconds.
Literally the best strategy there is.
So many Dragonball Z fights could have been won if Krillin just combined Solar Flare and Destructo Disk.


Derogatory Trainer said:
y59kLc6m.jpg

rs8Wtkhm.jpg

PYLh7Dhm.jpg


Wonder where that pebble came from?

A extremely weak rock type out for revenge maybe?
Click to expand...
i guess we will never know. :)
Run out of signs already?

Derogatory Trainer said:
zJOyKjVm.jpg


WHY WE COULD SLIGHTLY STUMBLE ON ONE OF THOSE!

WHAT A MASTERFULLY BRUTAL TACTICIAN SHE IS!
Click to expand...
THE LEGO FLOOR MANEUVER. BUT OF COURSE
The academy didn't train us for this...

Derogatory Trainer said:
dIZuQB4m.png


It killed my Kingler, Gutiérrez or whatever back in Amethyst cave!

So that thing used to belong to Vivian?

83ruvgFm.jpg


But...why did a robot have it?

QGYGTFWm.jpg


And why was it in Amethyst cave when Amethyst cave isn't anywhere near Sheridan in this time period?
Click to expand...
Well regis are one of those legendaries that is confirmed that exist multiple copies of them... Like shaymin. Basically regigigas is the only regi there is only one of it as it went around the world and made more of the other regis... i think
Oh really?
Didn't know that. I thought the Regis were unique to Hoenn since I don't recall you being able to get them in any other generation on their own.


Derogatory Trainer said:
l3jO4Jpm.jpg


So what exactly was stopping them from just...keeping their Regi's in Pokeballs?

Gf3rimEm.jpg


I guess being a "Protector of Aevium" makes you take on aspects of the region itself.

The main aspect being "dramatically nonsensical".
Click to expand...
ah this one is called... so they can have teams of 7 pokemon not wasting a slot on their regi's
Huh.
Yeah, okay that works for an explanation.


Derogatory Trainer said:
0KgrvD0m.jpg

lVcKjONm.jpg


But you better fucking hook yourself up to that healing crystal thing.

I ain't going through a large portion of this game without you again.

I need SOMEONE to balance out the hate.

It isn't fair that I put all of that work on Rose.
Click to expand...
Legit can you imagine if the next chapters who were meant to be around Aelita are not just you and Melia ? i would never.
I can't even imagine such a thing.
Jan would never let the player be alone with Aelita for THAT long.
He knows we'd try and stay forever to avoid going back to Melia.

Derogatory Trainer said:
HoU3nL3m.jpg


...

5jXz07im.jpg


That's my chest.

Not my back.

d76icSGm.jpg


You've just ruined whatever credibility that cool line gave you, loser.
Click to expand...
she at least had the guts to go for it. Better than some of the other people you dealt with.
I don't know if we should be applauding someone who stabbed me in the chest.
But it's a joke so it doesn't really count against her.


Derogatory Trainer said:
5S85GQgm.jpg


YOU FELL FOR MY BRILLIANT TRAP LIKE SO MANY OTHERS, VIVIAN!

MWAHAHAHAHAHA-
Click to expand...
MY GOD. WHAT A BRILLIANT TRAP. THEY SHALL ALL BE DUPED BY YOUR INCREDIBLY PLANNING.
ANYTHING THAT HAPPENS IN MY FAVOUR EVER WAS ALL ACCORDING TO MY GENIUS PLAN!

Derogatory Trainer said:
DVcimm6m.jpg

Lk5DIBsm.jpg


THAT I 100% PLANNED FOR!

I PLANNED TO BE LUCKY AND GOD KNOWS I WAS!

NEXT POKEMON, VIVIAN!
Click to expand...
never discard luck in plans... some fights in rejuv and reborn i won due to lucky crits or avoiding opponent's flinchs and such. Luck is always a factor
It's pretty much required when doing a blind nuzlocke.

Derogatory Trainer said:
ZmyMj6Jm.jpg


Apparently it was completely shattered.

...

xGaMQkRm.jpg


Wha?

...
Click to expand...
Yeah someoe already said this but
assault vest + Sandstorm boost to special defence liks makes it a hard tank... but dying to a power whip is... weird...
And I've probably said this already too.
I genuinely never knew that about Sandstorm Sp.Def boost.

Derogatory Trainer said:
XpppUqzm.jpg


You know...and this may come as a shock to you all...

I kinda like Sigilyph's design.

Sure it's weird as hell but it's a unique and original design based on the Nazca lines in Peru.
Click to expand...
i love its design... i dislike it becamde the defacto stored power statregy pokemon... feel like could have been more.
I don't even know why myself.
It has decent Special Attack and there are way better Pokemon to use Stored Power like Clefable.
Sigilyph also only has it as an Egg move so it's even harder to use that strat in a normal Nuzlocke.


Derogatory Trainer said:
1jVUylVm.jpg


There's a couple of "Why the fucks" you have to understand here, audience.

Why the fuck didn't I go to the Move Tutor to change his moves before I came back here?

Why the fuck doesn't the Magnemite line learn more than four damaging Electric moves?

AND WHY THE FUCK IS ONE OF THEM ELECTRO BALL!?!?

HE'S GOT 60 SPEED! HE'S COULDN'T EVEN OUTSPEED A FAT GUY THAT JUST SAW A BUFFET TABLE!

...
Click to expand...
he got the bronzong treatment... where one line doesn't get mirror shot or flash cannon
the other doesn't get good eletric moves
I think Bronzong's not meant to be a straight attacker like Magnezone though.
My go-to with Bronzongs were to shore up defenses and spam Confuse Ray/Psywave.


Derogatory Trainer said:
MdMtcHpm.jpg

qpb9ByJm.jpg

3KlqnnDm.jpg


Ashes to ashes, dust to dust.

aVVNv07m.jpg

A8mHrDmm.jpg


You're fucked Sigilyph, on that you can trust.
Click to expand...
WHY CAN'T ZIRA ALWAYS BE THIS ANGRY ? JUST SO WE CAN OVERHEAT EVERYTHING INTO ASHES.
Stat drops are unfortunately still a thing.
And I don't know where to buy White Herbs.

Derogatory Trainer said:
YXpL6brm.jpg


Wow it even has it's own special Psychic version of Brick Break called 'Psychic Fangs'.

That's neat.

FWCBcfqm.jpg

1sjVKWqm.jpg


Shame we'll never get to see it in action though.
Click to expand...
yeah guess we will never see the move.
Maybe someday, Bernag...
But it's probably for the best because it wouldn't have an animation.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Got it!

Because what would a strictly tropical fish know about ice?

hNz0b4am.jpg


...

JvnSx54m.jpg


Thank you.
Click to expand...
very well played. Tropical fish knowing ice moves ? seems outrageous.
My excuses for my mistakes are legendary at this point.

Derogatory Trainer said:
AjsL3cmm.jpg


...

Huh.

C9nDc4vm.jpg


I suppose that's true.

Life does have a habit of kicking me when I'm down.
Click to expand...
legit you already knew this from an old ally that is no logner with us.
Yes but I was hoping that I'd PASSED the grim part and there was nothing but sunshine and rainbows ahead for me.

Derogatory Trainer said:
JuDYpW6m.jpg


FINE.

Not every day a Mega Alakazam gets taken down by a "humble" Oranguru.

pjqiw3ym.jpg

Click to expand...
tbh it probably only had shadow ball for psychic coverage and Dr.Z. normal typing screwed that up for him XD
We always seem to get great victories from hard-countering an Alakazam's moveset.

Derogatory Trainer said:
h9TjQttm.jpg


I'd be fucking amazed if it did.

Can't hurt to try, right?
Click to expand...
worth the try. Imagine it saves the world with that protection spell and vivian lives.
Yet another victory for "Thinks-Outside-The-Box-Sean".

Derogatory Trainer said:
EabavPIm.jpg


...

Jesus, that was emotional.
Click to expand...
... where is Jan because i doubt he wrote this scene.
He can be touching at times.
I've never actually complained about the dialogue in this story. Just the nonsense that surrounds it.


Derogatory Trainer said:
1k4LzoOm.jpg


What the-

DAMMIT STAY OUT OF MY MEME REFERENCE FOLDERS! ONLY I CAN USE THOSE TO VISUALLY ILLUSTRATE A POINT OR EMOTION!
Click to expand...
ahahahhhh. Well done finding the meme folder. Now use that power for greatness.
Let's take a peek inside, shall we?
gHqkp84.png

Derogatory Trainer said:
DBxRykZm.jpg


Oh...oh no.

It's THAT type of confession.

B0sKS30m.jpg

Click to expand...
i don't remember this scene and im very unconfortable....
Well the first part before I interrupted her was all Jan but I guess you can assume the second was mine.

Derogatory Trainer said:
OIwbe96m.jpg

znnVhium.jpg


SHE RAISED HER ARMS!!?!

Cuvn9E4m.jpg


WE CAN DO THAT?!!?!

YmDLjn8m.jpg


WHAT THE FUCK!?!?

r3ns1iDm.jpg


THE DARK VOID AT THE EDGE OF THE SCREENS HAS AELITA!
Click to expand...
NUUUUUUUU TAKE MELIA. THIS GOING TO THE PAST IS TO KNOW MORE ABOUT AELITA. WE NEED HERRRRRR....
It was foolish of us to think this wouldn't be about Melia...
So foolish...

bcULh95m.jpg

d7OdvDvm.jpg

vFUSGjMm.jpg

vpiAD1Im.jpg


After careful deliberation, I decided NOT to risk Melia getting her wrists slit by a pair of six year olds just so I could beat up more six year olds.

1Y4PIrnm.jpg


*Sigh*

The things I do for her.

It's just so hard being as noble as me sometimes...

wvZY7BNm.jpg


Mama...Mosely?

Oh wow, are we going to meet adult Mosely?

EzqLUQAm.jpg


Uh.

Guess not.

She's still a baba.

Baba Mosely.

Makes sense I suppose, if this is a time period parallel to our own.

2pVLAYZm.jpg


I MEAN "OH MY GOD! IT'S A SOMEHOW EVEN DIRTIER MOSELY!"

AND WITHOUT HER TRADEMARK HAT!?

THIS TIMELINE IS TERRIBLE!


w7M41KUm.jpg


Speaking of...

pSgLgb3m.jpg


HOW are you here by the way?

Do you kids live on this island? Is this where Maman's Grotto used to be?

vufxfy0m.jpg


Also I'd like to ask how you're here again but in a different context.

2QCIidOm.jpg


HOW exactly did your parents meet and uh..."call in the stork" after a devastating apocalypse at JUST the right moment to create you once again, Mosely?

Seems incredibly unlikely.

N5ny7qZm.jpg


Thank you.

I spend hours every night carefully sculpting this bed-headed look.

...

Heh.

S1NPIo8m.jpg


That's actually a doubly witty line because the "hours every night" can also just mean the all sleeping I do that causes the bed-head look.

39hQ0pQ.gif


Good job, me. I'm glad to see the world ending hasn't ruined my sense of humor.

IMZWeG7m.jpg


Exactly, Nova.

Overly serious Pokemon stories where everything is MISERABLE and GRITTY and the Pokemon are vicious bloodthirsty BEASTS are no fun to read.

Like imagine that scene of me beating the kids taken seriously?

Who the fuck wants to see/read me that?

8yOkJENm.jpg


*Sigh*

rjFCwzAm.jpg


It genuinely pains me that the only people ever willing to correctly call me a full adult are these feral children.

And I'm being lumped in with the decidedly NOT adult Melia...

I'll have to take what I can get it seems.

O4ZGZu4m.jpg

Dz0Ss4Rm.jpg


We do?

They called you "Mama" after all.

Despite you being nine and they being...six? Seven?

I'm sure there's a man or woman behind the curtain here though.

kjajLmmm.jpg


Can you all imagine the immense irony if she tried to hang us?

I'd laugh forever.

6NBeeGEm.jpg


...

Why do you stay quiet when a dirty little girl tells you to and not when I do it?

That's some bullshit right there.

OdvBOYQm.jpg


Fuckin' and truckin'.

What does it look like, half...

No that's a bit too generous for you.

What does it look like, quarter-pint?

iS0iTHbm.jpg


Time-travel.

Straight up.

akXCmuUm.jpg


Wow.

Somehow that one sentence embodies both me and the "mysterious" characters that know the plot of this game but refuse to explain any of it to us.

Not bad, Melly.

GLIAh2Sm.jpg


Oop.

Guess the peanut gallery doesn't agree with me.

Plebs the lot of them!

KQmOGVEm.jpg


That's a shame.

I don't explain myself to urchins.

FB0EFgCm.jpg


Take a bath?

hcDlcy1m.jpg


Whoa.

Guess they REALLY don't like baths.

gdnKMqcm.jpg


Nah.

They immediately gave up their advantage after threatening Melia.

I'm just eating a power bar to get myself back in the child brutalising mood.

FVQQSNym.jpg


To reiterate from last chapter;

"Oh nooooo...please don't kill me...anything but thaaaaat...I have so much to live foooorrrr..."

RfUrNyym.jpg

BCNe4DJm.jpg


Well I have the jist.

Vivian's sacrifice protected the region from getting absolutely fucked.

But we stopped that so the fuckening commenced without her magical condom to protect us from an unwanted apocalypse.

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Which means have to go back to Ye Olde Sheridan and abort this retarded timeline so we don't spend most of our lives suffering because of it!

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Oh you know me.

Always pushing boundaries of what's acceptable in a Nuzlocke.

Just you WAIT for Chapter 147.

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Oh? You're approaching me?

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She won't lay a finger on you.

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You know...even for this game...

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I genuinely never thought I'd see the day when I chose to beat the shit out Mosely instead Melia.

But I get the feeling this entire 'evil timeline' adventure is going to have a lot of "firsts" for me in it.

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Hammer time?

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OH OH OH OH O-

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Hang on...

I've done this bit before...that means this can only be...

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ISHA?

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IS THAT YOU!?

HOW THE HELL DID YOU MANAGE TO SURVIVE, YA CREEPY WEIRDO?

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ALSO I HOPE TO GOD YOU AREN'T THE ONE IN CHARGE OF THESE CHILDREN! BECAUSE THAT'S VERY WORRYING!


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Wait a minute!

Isha has a light lavender glow not white!

You're an imposter!

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Oooorrrr...Emma?

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Melia, is that you in your stupid Emma OC up there?

Dammit! I thought you grew out of that phase!

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"Jeepers".

How do you even know that word?

Is the only surviving form of media left in this world a Scooby Doo VHS?

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That's a terrible name.

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Oh.

That's still a terrible name when you say the whole thing.

Like calling someone "Jonathan" every time instead of shortening it to just "Jon".

...

Also you're clearly my old pal, Keta.

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Who oddly looks healthier here than he did in the food abundant timeline I come from.

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Guess soul splitting makes you look hungrier than actual malnutrition.

...

Not really sure about the cape you've sewn onto your suit jacket though.

Bit of an odd choice there.

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And it'll save you some bruises/fatal injuries down the line.

You're not my Mosely after all. I can stomach hurting you.

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Boat, huh?

So the seawater isn't acidic enough to cut through a hull nor alcoholic enough that it starts to think that the overweight oil tanker is a slim sexy speedboat?

Good to know.

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...

I mean it's probably good to know.

Not like I actually plan on having my Pokemon swim in that shit.

Especially since the only one with who can learn Surf is Rose.

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And I JUST waxed her plates before coming here.



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No.

But I know how children are in this region at ANY type of time.

...

Well I'm really only talking about the ones in GDC.

They roam the night looking for blood.

Basically the only thing that's changed is they're now even hungrier and even leaner.

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Like a pack of wolves in winter...circling their prey...

Just waiting for that one moment of weakness...

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It's kind of a problem since they threatened to kill you, my (acting) favourite other human in the world.

...

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God...what a timeline this is.

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As I answered Mosely;

"Fuckin' and Truckin'"

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Also as I told Mosely;

"Time Travel."

"Straight up."

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Oh?

Why would you come here anyway? Doesn't seem to be anything here.

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Do you pray to the great Aipom, Duskull, Zigzagoon totem pole behind us?

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Seriously.

Who builds a totem pole dedicated to shitmons like them?

Are all the Pokemon dead except those three and they've become top tier by default?

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For you.

I know what's going on.

Or at least I have a strong hunch about it.

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A'ight.

Nothing better to do.

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Sounds like an ultimatum.

Not a fan.

Plus I've always kept plenty of rations on me ever since I starved that one time in Darchlight cave.

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OF WHICH I was starving.

You wouldn't GET it, Zolt! You don't have a stomach!

Hell, I'm not even sure how the fuck you're even a living thing!

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Anyway...

I do have...some reservations about going with you, Ketanneth...

Buuuut we're not exactly going to get anywhere hanging out on this desolate rock...

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And I reeaaaallllyyyy don't want to test how well a wooden raft would hold up on that possibly acid, possibly red wine ocean.

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But that's only because we all know I'm not allowed to use my Pokemon outside of battle under nearly any circumstances in this game.

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Because if I was, I'd make the raft and then have Dr.Zaius float it and us across the ocean with his telekinesis.

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That's what he said.

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But if your telekinesis isn't strong enough I'd either enlist Melia's Gardevoir to pitch in...

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Or slap a rope to Nova and have Zolt fly underneath.

Instant flying boat.

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Anyway, since I CAN'T do that, I'll come along with you, Keta.

But I reserve the right to hit more of your children should they get bitey.

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Oh yeah sure.

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We'll just take one final look to remember all the good times we've had on this island.

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...

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*Sniff*

So many beautiful moments.

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Like literally.

We've only been here for ACTUAL moments.

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...

Still can't figure out where the hell Madame X went though...

Oh well. I'm completely fine with leaving her here to die of dehydration.

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Yup.

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Do you want to say "Anchors aweigh! PEEKO, we're setting sail, my darling" or will I?

How about you, Melia?

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...

Okay...I guess we'll board in complete silence then.

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Man...the apocalypse really sucks the fun out of folk.

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Ain't nowhere you can go but up, people!

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Anchors Aweigh!

PEEKO, we're setting sa-

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Ugh.

Spoilsport.

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...

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Jesus, starting early with the travelling dialogue aren't you?

We've barely left the somehow surviving pier!

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Wait, you still haven't copped on?

We're in Aevium, Melia.

This wouldn't be happening to us otherwise. Everywhere else is relatively normal compared to us.

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And according to the magic map that always tells me my location except sometimes, we're somewhat near Terajuma.

...

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Because OF COURSE we are.

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She doesn't know much at all, Kenneth.

Cut her some slack.

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She could have for all I fucking know, man.

The first 8-9 years of her life before Jenner adopted her are unknown and she spent the last three in the past while working a dead-end waitressing job.

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So the only time of her life I can account for is the 4-5 years she spent in West Gearan with Venam and the time she's spent with me.

Like I don't even know how old she is other than 16-18ish.

And it's supposedly her birthday like...sometime this week?

If she's even that age when the date comes around.

It's not like she spent EXACTLY three years in the past, is it?

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Hell my timeline isn't much fucking better.

I first gained sentience while filling out a Trainer Card registration form and have absolutely zero memories before that.

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Nancy could have literally just been a crazy woman who said I was her son and I'd have no choice but to believe it.

'S fucking weird.

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Yeah.

But which Earth?

Earth-2? Earth-Prime? Nega-Earth?

We're in a whole different universe now with the timeline changed from what The Terribly Titled Earth was.

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Huh.

Wise words once again, Zaius.

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...

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No.

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Why so?

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I don't think the planet loses the name it's had for centuries because the last few decades have sucked the life out of it.

And if it's so barren how the hell are any of you surviving?

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It's mostly ocean now it seems.

Welcome to Planet Water everyone.

...

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Wait, why ISN'T our Earth called Planet Water anyway?

There's way more Water than Earth on it!

Plus every living thing on this planet needs water to survive, not dirt!

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My fellow Waterlings, I implore you to sign my petition to rename Planet Earth to Planet Water.

Together we can correct this erro-

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W-what are you talking about, Zi-

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NO, WAIT!

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BLUB BLUB BLUB BLUB!

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It's a good thing you don't see the nonsense of what's going on back here in the cargo hold.

Would reaaaaalllyyyy ruin any sense of drama our situation has.

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Amazing how you've managed to actually stay roughly the fucking same through all this Mosely.

It's actually admirable.

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Oh?

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Christ, you're such a bad actor.

He's going to be soooo suspicious about your reaction.

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Well it means Tesla's still alive, I'm sure.

World hasn't gone to COMPLETE shit so.

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*ahem*

And Amber's probably there too, of course.

Glad to see my favourite Terajuma people are still around.

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Less thrilled that ANY part of Terajuma managed to survive...

But as long as Crawli and the Ranger retards aren't there it should be fine.

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Smoooooth as butter, Melia.

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What, already?

But don't we have to circle around the island for a bit to get to Telia's port?

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Oh.

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Oh my.

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...

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I've got to thank the apocalypse when I meet it.

It managed to destroy the ENTIRE east part of Terajuma and left nothing but the good.

*Sigh*

I'm gonna miss this sight when I fix the timeline.

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It's seen better days.

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She's like a dog you have to walk or it'll start chewing on all the furniture.

Maman was very wise to make her orphanage free-range and not the Oliver Twist kind.

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No more walkies for Mosely?

She's going to piss on all your rugs in defiance, Kenneth!

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...

Yeah she's definitely going to piss on all your rugs.

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Oh?

Do you have some sort of introductory brochure to give us?

A pat-down maybe?

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"Sorry for thi-"?

...

Oh it's like that then.

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You fool!

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That was merely my after-image!

You'll have to do better than that if you want to take ME down.

I know you and your love of kicking people in the face all too well, Kenneth!

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Plus apologising for no reason before doing something is a dead giveaway to imminent violence.

You'd know this if any form of media survived this far.

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L-Lummox!?

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...

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...

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I'M THINKING!

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Morning, sunshine.

Welcome to the slammer.

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Me?

Well aside from the irritation at having to "surrender" so you can keep most of your teeth, I'm completely unharmed.

It's almost like someone running up and kicking you in the head after apologising for nothing is incredibly easy to see coming!

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...

Oh right.

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Are you okay?

All your teeth are still in place, yes?

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Good. He kept his word then.

It's also good because it's almost impossible to find a dentist in the Pokemon World normally, let alone during a post-apocalypse.

Everyone has great plaque-free white teeth here.

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I wonder if it's because they put Oran Berry extract in toothpaste?

And yes.

This joke was only made because I only had to change one letter on the toothpaste tube.

...

LAUGH.

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Yeah.

Don't remind me.

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Mainly because that seething feeling inside me from having to surrender twice to...inferiors for your safety hasn't gone away yet.

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...

Well I wouldn't say no to a cake?

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DON'T BOO ME, YOU LITTLE SHIT!

THAT WAS A-TIER SAFE HUMOR!


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Well we did travel back through time in the sense that we returned to our own time period...

But since we travelled FROM the past to here, shouldn't it be we travelled forward through time?

Tricky vocabulary to work with, isn't it?

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God this whole trip would go much easier if you had just watched Back to the Future.

I'm making you watch it when we get back.

Even if this whole shitshow will probably be enough of a lesson so that you won't do this again...

Whatever. We're still making you at least somewhat genre savvy.

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Probably.

It's either that or because I punched that Heracross which started a World Pokemon War that devastated the entire planet.

But let's fall back on the tried and true...

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Of blaming you.

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Uhhh...wait hold on a minute, let's not ACTUALLY blame you here.

The real cause of this is Indriad or whoever the fuck starts Storm-9 in the first place!

And realistically, helping Vivian is what normal people would do if tearfully begged by her best friend and learning of her genuinely selfless plan to sacrifice herself.

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I just happen to be on a higher plane of enlightenment so I'm able to see the plot threads weaving together that let me know when things are a bad idea.

...

I surmise that by the end of this game they'll all form into one giant middle finger aimed at us.

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Plus you have to consider how does Aelita exist without Vivian living to have kids?

Are they not related at all?

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I can't believe that.

So far, hair colour has been the primary way of denoting parentage in this game.

It's partly why I'm so sure Alice and Allen are Indriad's bastard children.

(Still not sure what the fuck Melia's deal is there though.)

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Jesus.

She finally said that I was right all along...

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BUT WHY DON'T I FEEL ANY BETTER ABOUT IT!?

IT'S LIKE I KICKED A PUPPY!

UGH! I HATE THIS! THERE SHOULD BE FUCKING STREAMERS AND TRUMPETS BLARING IN CELEBRATION RIGHT NOW!


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GOD THIS TIMELINE SUCKS!

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That's one of the thing that confuses me.

Why would we be erased at all? Like there's a 100% guarantee that we fix this mess sometime in the near future, right?

So why would we be erased if everything is fine after this arc? Why would time prioritise this part before the change back?

...

God do I fucking hate time travel.

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Oh hey!

Guess Amber did make it.

Her dad must have banged Tesla at the right time just like Mosely's parents did for her!

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Chances of that are astronomically low but hey.

It's probably to get the player attached to these people since they look like our old friends.

Unfortunately, I don't care.

That's not my Amber so why would I?

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S'up Other-Amber?

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You look whiter than the one I have at home. Why is that?

The planet dying wouldn't matter to the sun...

Was the destruction enough to block it out for a 1000 years of darkness effect?

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I see you're approaching Melia with ill intent.

Some things never change, eh?

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...

Or is it really ill intent?

Maybe THIS Amber is enraptured by Melia and has been struck speechless by her beaut-

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Oh.

Guess not.

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HEY, WAIT A MINUTE!

THAT'S POLICE BRUTALITY!

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I BETTER FILM THIS WHILE MOVING ERRATICALLY FOR TWITTER SO I CAN GET LOADS OF SOCIAL POINTS!

THE MOTION MAKES IT FEEL LIKE I'M ACTUALLY DOING SOMETHING!


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Well she might be all three of those things but that's no excuse to hit her.

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And if you do it at least two more times I'm going to get angry.

And you wouldn't like me when I'm angry.

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...

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...

Caesar is still asleep, isn't he?

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That's because you're a good girl, Rose.

You'd never fall to the Dark Side like he has.

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She said I was right about everything.

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You're all willing to sign something to confirm that, right?

It's kind of a big moment for me even with the sour feeling inside.

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So you hit her?

Heh...

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I see treatment of the mentally ill has only improved from our timeline.

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Also I pretty sure, I came off as the crazier one given how I was throwing children around like rag dolls while screaming how nice I was back on Aipom Island.

I also defied gravity by doing an extremely dated dance in parachute pants up and down the totem pole

I think he's far more worried about my stability than hers.

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Oh okay, she thinks I'm crazy as well.

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Don't know WHERE she'd get that idea.

Not like I was wearing a face mask of myself over a fish mask over my real face for a three image joke or anything...

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Ooooh what's that?

Sounds cool as shit.

Are they accepting new members that work their way up to the top at lightning speeds?

Like in a million RPGs with clubs you can join out there?

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...

Then why exactly did you step into this cell with us crazies?

Not very bright are you?

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Well yeah.

It's also true that we can fix this mess.

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You'll all probably be erased from existence though.

If we're going by Mystery Dungeon time travel rules at least.

But honestly I don't think there ARE any rules to this shit anymore.

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Aw man, Tesla's not actually here?

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And look, I'm all for blaming Melia...

Hell I'd go so far to say I perfected the process, but she's not to blame for any of that.

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She also technically created this version of you and your mother.

So you kind of owe her for existing at all, even as smelly and lean as you are.

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Oh god what the fuck are you going to say now, Melia?

It'd be in your best interests to curl into a ball and stay quiet right now.

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I'd find solace in it if it were me.

But YOU'RE not the one who did this.

And I swear if your next line is some stupid shit like "go ahead and kill me" I'm gonna get ma-

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...

Aaaaaaand I'm mad.

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Yes.

Please do.

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FRONT KICK!

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Do you know how much fucking WORK I've put in to keep your ass from being grass, Melia!?

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AND YOU THEN TRY TO THROW IT AWAY BY LETTING SOME NON-PERSON KILL YOU SO THEY COULD FEEL BETTER ABOUT THEIR OWN SHITTY LIFE?

THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!

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ONLY I GET TO EVENTUALLY SMOTHER YOU IN YOUR SLEEP!

I'VE EARNED THAT RIGHT, GODAMMIT!


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You'll fucking try, little girl.

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Jan didn't design his story to be played out by overly aggressive people like me, baby!

I don't have a single qualm in the universe about murdering every single last person in this shit-stain of a timeline with my bare fucking hands if I have to!

None of you are the people I know and I'll never see you again when I leave.

That makes your lives extremely expendable.

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Oh yeah, I'm sure your malnourished teenage ass strikes fear in the hearts of your enemies.

Get a fucking grip before I remove your capability of doing so.

Both mentally and physically.

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I can't decide if I'll call the move the Brain-Dead Basher or the Comatose Crush.

I'll be sure to ask the doctors scooping out your organs for other people for their opinion.

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Listen to Kenneth, Amber.

You've done so well surviving this apocalypse until now.

I'd hate to ruin that.

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Well we have to establish the pecking order somehow, my fine feathered friend.

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Yeah scurry away back to a Pokemon Center, punk.

You don't deserve to beat up Melia.

If anyone has earned that privilege, it's me.

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Not like I'd actually do that to her though.

Like I'd smack her upside the head and bully her all day long but I wouldn't go right for her face with a full power haymaker.

That's only for actual jerks like Geara, Madame X, Flora, Neved, every single Bladestar goon going after Ana, strangers in general, Jan, Jan's cat Whiskers, Jan's mailman, every single person reading this sentence, every single person who skipped reading this sentence because of tldr, the next ten people I meet in the street, cultists, non-cultists, Tik-Tokers, Nik-Knockers, the entire cast of the Big Bang Theory-

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Longer than we have time for.

So let's pick Melia of the dirty floor and move on.

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Alright Melia, up you get n-

...

Did...I just help you up?

Me?

The guy who used to fantasise about caving the back of your head in with a rock?

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Jesus...and I just said I wouldn't punch her in the face as hard as I could too...

Have I finally grown soft in my old age?

Or has Melia's "ADORE-ME" aura finally started to wear down my rock-hard defenses after half a decade?

...

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*YAWN*

Maybe I'm just genuinely tired.

I have been writing this Part almost non-stop for a year at this point.

Most of it while standing since I can't really sit down for long periods yet after I done cracked my tailbone.

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Ah like my temper after the shit you just tried to pull.

Well good.

Perhaps you'll learn something from it.

Like wearing a stab vest or doing more sit-ups.

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Honestly Melia, you should do more sit-ups.

If Amber tried to gut-punch Aelita like that, her rock-hard abs would have broken her hand.

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Step...daughter?

Amber's your step-daughter?!

...

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Oho~

Kenneth, you sly dog.

Seems like the end of the world has ironically been kind to you.

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Which actually makes me pity this poor fucker even more.

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ONLY when the world collapses, does Keta get a fair hand dealt to him.

Christ, Jan. What did he DO to you?

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Great fire-type joke, brah.

Glad to see everyone's shit type-based humor has survived the end of days.

We going to meet the stubborn Rock type trainer next?

Or how about the emo Dark type user?

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Hey now that's unfair to our Amber.

She (to my disappointment) never went as far as beating you up.

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Well I happen to like the other Amber so I'd naturally be more tolerant of her punching Melia.

...

Also there's a severe lack of oil to throw on them here.

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Oh don't look so aghast, Melia.

Girl fights are scary without the oil.

They're like a vicious whirlwind of nails and hair-pulling...

So wouldn't it be much better for everyone if they were slipping around half-naked in a kiddy pool of lubricant so they couldn't do that as well?

Honestly, I should be hailed as a hero for these suggestions!

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Well I've said it multiple times?

But you're right, people can only hear me for the purposes of comedy.

I'm guessing it has to do with my missing Trainer Card?

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You mean you picked up my wallet, 'cause nobody can open my bag except me.

None of you can access the Start menu like I can.

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At times like this, I miss Venam.

When she was around I could make that terrible joke about me being her and her being me.

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Us?

Tell the truth?!

NEVER.

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Huh.

That's a neat trick. (Even if, you know, nobody actually responds to me unless I edit them to)

I'm very glad you didn't try torture first.

...

You should be too.

I made the mistake of following the script in the early days of this run instead of just breaking out and killing Neved for daring to torture Aelita.

But his day will come.

Even if Jan decides to make him "sympathetic" like he seems to be trying with the baby Volcanion mutilator, Madelis.

It will come.

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We stopped a lady from offing herself to form some sort of...barrier around the region?

I don't actually know what the spell physically does to protect the region.

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Face it, Melia.

You don't have that edge that crazies do.

And I know crazy people.

I'm (technically) married to one after all.

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Also he probably found all our future stuff.

Well...technically we're from the same point in time chronologically...

But since our industry didn't get blown to kingdom come we might as well be from the future.

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"The ominously glowing black brick, the bicycle you somehow managed to fit in there, a medallion that gave me nightmares and a mirror that lets your travel between dimensions but only in one specific cave"

It's rather lucky he didn't decide to burn me as a witch then and there.

Or he didn't drop the bag and doom the planet even harder.

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Ah yes.

The Before-Fore times.

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What, you people don't have "ITEMS" anymore?

How the hell do you even survive? A lot of things fall under "ITEMS"!

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Uh huh.

Bet I still won't be allowed to power level my Pokemon to 100 and wipe out everyone when I get back home or use whatever HM I want.

"No need for badges" my ass.

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Heh.

I always knew Rose would be the last Dragon Pokemon standing.

But you do realise that all this makes me your king now right, Kenneth?

Who can oppose me now with your 91 species? I bet Ice and Fairy types didn't survive the cataclysm.

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Which means I'm finally the strongest trainer and Rose is finally the strongest Pokemon in existence.

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Well...we're finally confirmed as the strongest trainer/Pokemon in existence.

There'll always be challengers to the notion that we're the greatest in our timeline, Rose.

There's a never-ending supply of Trainers there that'd think they could surmount us.

But here? The pickings are a LOT slimmer.

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I really doubt anyone would be able to keep their hair as clean and blonde as Melia's in this timeline.

Does anyone actually know how shampoo is made? 'Cause I don't.

Like I know how bars of soap are made but not the gel stuff.

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I assume it's with some nice smelling herbs and a coagulant? Like sap or something?

I guess we'll find out depending on how long this Bad future arc is.

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Well I have (even failed at it a couple of times) but having to survive day by day is no excuse to look scruffy, Ken!

Who says you can't be a survivor and not look stylish?

Destiny's Child would be disgusted by you.

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It really isn't.

It's not like we murdered them. They can be brought back through time travel shenanigans. I'm sure of it.

...

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Also I didn't want to correct you on this part...

Buuuuut the count is more likely in the double-digit billions...

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We have to consider all the people AND Pokemon who were never born because of our actions too, remember?

Isn't remembering FUN, Melia?

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Bitch, did you not hear us say "time travel"?

This shit ain't sticking.

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But I would honestly admire Jan if he had the balls to commit to this timeline being the rest of the game.

I wouldn't like it that much...but I'd respect the ball size involved.

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No, I'm not.

Declaring that I'm now a part of a group without giving me any say in the matter is a good way to get on my bad side, Kenneth.

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Hmmm...a mutually beneficial arrangement?

Well...you're better at this than Flora at least. She didn't offer me ANYTHING except a gym battle she was contractually obliged to provide me.

I suppose I'll play along.

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Of course I am.

I'm a guy with an internet series.

I'm only loyal to myself and those that can further my brand.

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For now.

The SECOND you do something Twitter doesn't like I'm going to cancel any collabs we'd planned on doing and tell everyone how I can't be friends with someone so toxic in some vain attempt to continue getting social points.

All the while having our subscriber counts open in two separate tabs so I can watch yours fall as mine rise.

This is the crabs in a bucket online society we live in.

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They sound cool.

But that could just be because my favourite Medabots character was Phantom Renegade.

Man...

Why did that never come back? An good action adventure RPG of that series would be amazing.

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*inhale*

*exhale*

There we go I've survived another second.

Now fucking tell us who they are.

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Ah...really?

Well I've never actually seen anyone actually eat anything before on-screen before so this should be interesting.

...

Well I haven't seen anyone eat aside from Venam wolfing down Berries like a demented squirrel but you could hardly call that eating.

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I'll be sure to work my way up by clocking in first and clocking out last, boss!

Like a good little wage slave!

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I'm glad.

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I just think it's funny how...

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Hey wait!

You didn't hear the end of the arguing couple joke I was...ah whatever.

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Yeah, don't worry about that rationing shit, Melia.

I went ahead and made my sock from the same magic material my bag is made of and filled it with MREs and canned goods.

We've got enough supplies for a year and all it cost was me was a headache over how these magic storage things work.

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We could maybe try fixing our 'mistake'?

Shit, Melia I'm not spending fucking years of my life on an island in a post-apocalyptic future with you.

That'd lead to some horrible outcome like us becoming actual friends and taking comfort in each other's presence and awful touching things like that!

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Nooooo thank you.

SeanXMelia can stay in Bizarro Aevium where it fucking belongs.

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...

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...

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...

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Heh.

The more things change the more they say the same, eh?

Whole world gone to shit and we're still wandering about listen to people ramble.

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Right.

These last few arcs have been incredibly condensed time-wise so I'm sure something will happen in like a day and we can go back to our timeline.

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Ohhhh...

I'm not going to like this suggestion one bit, am I?

If you're actually warning me about it now, it's going to be one of your most aggravating "bright ideas" yet.

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You're suggesting a team-up.

With Madame X.

...

One second please.

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...

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Nothing much.

I'm just drawing a map to help you find wherever it was you-

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LOST YOUR FUCKING MIND!

I was okay with Kenneth and you, but working with her!?!

Not a chance!

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No, she'll have something she can use to get YOU and HER out of this.

I'm not needed for her "master plan" to collect all the shiny Pokemon in the world or whatever. Only you are.

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In fact, it'd be in her best interest to just stab me right in the gut and leave me here to rot.

Who the fuck else in our group could feasibly beat her aside from me?

Huey?

You want to put our Huey up against that monstrous bitch?

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HE'S JUST A BOY, MELIA!

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...

...

...

...

...

Emphasis on "for now"?

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Alright then.

I'll try to...

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Behave isn't the right word but something similar to that.

But if she starts shit, she's gonna get hit.

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After you.

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Because if it wasn't after you there'd be a really awkward scene of me shimmying over that crate to get past.

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And nobody wants that.

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...

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*Sigh*

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What a day, eh viewers?

Fucking woke up this morning to laugh at Melia picking up Heracross shit and now we're here in Hell world.

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Well look who finally woke up!

You've missed quite a lot, Caesar.

Like the world ending.

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...

Well let's go outside and take a look at how bad it is, shall we?

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...

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Told you.

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Oh...wow...I hadn't realised until now...but you're probably the LAST Grass type in existence.

Sucks for you, I guess.

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Well...

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WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA WHOA!

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DAMMIT CAESAR!

GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF AND LET ME EXPLAIN!

THROUGH THE MEDIUM...OF TEXTBOX ON A BLACK SCREEN


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So after that incredibly succinct explanation, do you understand our situation now?

...

Caesar?

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Alright, man.

See you later.

...

Could have sworn I caught you with a Great Ball thoug-

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...

Well...I'm sure it's no big deal.

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Noooo-hoooo he did not.

You seem to be doing just fine though, Rose.

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...

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Ah~



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Right.

The intense feelings of love and appreciation I was stuck by have subsided.

Guess it's time to jabber with the locals.

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We have a higher pedigree?

Our clothes are actually washed?

We remember what the sun looks like?

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We've still got the fire of hope burning in our souls to keep us moving forward?

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Pick any of the above, peasant.

There's no end to the reasons we are superior to you.

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Who do you think you're talking to?

"Do I know what it's like to suffer."

Please.

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I once went a WHOLE six hours without eating something once.<