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Screenshot Fan Game Mature Commentary The Terribly-Titled Nuzlocke of Pokemon Rejuvenation: Part 3: Chapter 141 - Shit Happens

Extravanganza Accordian Demo
Thread Description
A heroic saga of loss, anger and a great number of idiocy induced headaches. Welcome to the wild ride that is Pokemon Rejuvenation! (Updated 22/07/22)

Hakimblue99

Conqueror of the Pewter Gym
Pokédex No.
1649
Caught
Mar 16, 2020
Messages
3
I know, right? I wish I could trade for more interesting members...

Solar and lunar eclipse...huh. That's something new I learned from reading this. I really am learning new stuff from reading this run.

Obviously Jan doesn't know how astrology(I think it's called) and geology works. The meteorite isn't even that big. That racket is just lousy!

He also doesn't know how not to make characters that doesn't frustrate people, but that's a whooole 'nother issue.

Vivian: We should care for all life, no matter where they came from. Now kill this thing person who I literally just made.

Spoken like a true hippie. Or like mega corps who ride on the coattails of the green earth campaign just to get some brownie points while still contributing most of the world's pollution. Blergh.

Sean: I'm also fairly sure, (judging how hair colour works in this game), that you're her grandmother. Or great grand-mother.

Hmm...

Ah yes. The Miera Region. Another mystery to add to that book of questiosn of yours. What happened to that book anyway? Haven't seen it for a while.

Zolt: Beheeyem posseses mind-control abilities...

Hmmmmm......


So Jan is gonna revamp the early game? Again?

I'm starting to think I should just travel to the future and play the complete edition of Pokemon Rejuvenation. Because everytime a new version drops, I keep replaying it because I want to experience the brand new early game. Unfortunately I don't have a hotline to Tempia...
 
OP
Derogatory Trainer

Derogatory Trainer

The hero you don't need but you're getting anyway.
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
315
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
507
Nature
Adamant
Pokémon Type
  1. ???
Pokédex Entry
The most humble and modest braggart you will ever meet.
edVImsCm.jpg


Whoops!
Sorry about that. Didn't select all the replies from the document where I saved them.

Derogatory Trainer said:
CaZ6J7fm.jpg


Does my face look better lit in this picture?
Click to expand...

I'd say so, at the very least it looks better than the one below it. Then again that may just be because you were holding the light in your hands there and I also just woke up so my vision isn't as reliable as it will be in like thirty minutes.
...
I think I'll just put this rambling answer down under "Yes".


Derogatory Trainer said:
Here's a top tip. Tell your mother that you spend all that time on the computer watching porn.
She won't bring it up to other people.
You underestimate my family's talent for gossip... no you REALLY do because that sounds like something that my mother would probably tell my whole family about.
Well that's genuinely horrifying.
Like when the mothers of your cousins stealthily compete about their kids, she opens with "Sovereign One is big into feet now"?
Jeeeeesus.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Azurite LOOKS great but their Twitter hasn't been updated in nearly two years so it's almost assuredly dead in the water.

Oh no it's not, the dev's are just far more active on discord... in fact

d6sKYQT.png



I only scrolled up like three days to find this.
OH.
Well that's great news. Usually there's some internal strife and one creator turns out to be a mal-adjusted psycho when it comes to creating fan-games.
Glad to see it's not the case here.


Derogatory Trainer said:
You expect me to buy TWO axe props?
Buddy, I ain't MADE of money here. Especially since nobody donates to that Patreon I set-up and only linked once.

I'ma be honest, I though you were using photoshop but the axe looked a little too real, so that's why I was confused.
I'm getting pretty good at Photoshop for that to be the case then.
Nobody noticed Chet the Racket wasn't real either.


Derogatory Trainer said:
The far gone year of 2001 going by Maria's Gamecube.

And that's only me assuming it's brand new because she's rich.

...

Still, that's twenty years ago now.

No, stop, don't tell me 2001 was over twenty years ago...

I hate time.
So do I.
Wish I could stop it.



Derogatory Trainer said:
Especially since I don't have any god-slaying weapons or material yet.

55G787Ym.jpg


THE CUBE ISN'T READY YET!

IT NEEDS MORE SOULS CELLS!
Click to expand...

Well that's a reference of something I feel like we haven't seen at all for part 3.
He's been around.
We just haven't gotten too many Zygarde Cells lately to bring him up.
GDC is kind of a dead zone for them it seems.



I REALLY like Nova... but if I remember correctly you said she's one of three that dies...

Please let me be wrong about that...
Did I say that at some point?
Don't worry. I was probably lying.
...
Just like I'm probably lying RIGHT NOW.


Derogatory Trainer said:
TMm3tg7m.jpg

TxEY44sm.jpg


AND ONCE AGAIN CREDIT FOR MINE AND CHET'S HEROIC DEEDS HAS BEEN STOLEN FROM ME BY YET ANOTHER CONVENIENLTY-APPEARING-IN-JUST-THE-NICK-OF-TIME WOMAN!
Click to expand...

I mean, canonically (or at least what in this game can be considered canon) You and Aelita talking and Katsu (almost) getting hit by a meteor were supposed to happen at the same time, giving you little time to do anything before Vivian showed up.
Would she have died otherwise if we hadn't spent time talking to her?
Or does Vivian head her off earlier than before?


Derogatory Trainer said:
Perhaps I'll finally get a decent battle in this podunk time period?

Vy7RXIUm.jpg

g0CYmiVm.jpg


Oh.

szFh57Im.jpg


Well fuck using Pokemon then, I'll just kill this thing myself.

eNuKpdim.jpg


DEROGATORY PAWNCH!

NARRATOR: Derogatory Punch.

A special move designed by Sean to attack both the body and the mind.

Think of it like getting punched in the face and also being called the ONE thing that makes you the most upset at once.


That's the Derogatory Punch.
Click to expand...

Was... was that a reference to Mob Psycho?

Are you actually Reigen Sean?
It was not a reference, no.
I was just being all anime about it.
Plus my power is REEEEAAALLL.


Derogatory Trainer said:
WHY DID I DO A REACTION-LOCKE AND NOT JUST A REGULAR SCREENSHOT RUN!?!?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Because a reaction-locke allows you to do more funny edits. That said I'm currently working on a screenshot run like Pika's and I'm making tiny edits using their ingame sprites so I guess it's not impossible.
Baaahhh...if I had artistic talent I could have done a comic run. It'd be easier on my face muscles at least.
Oh? You'll have to notify me when you start. I'm terrible for looking at other people's runs.
What game are you doing?


Derogatory Trainer said:
8km6UOAm.jpg


...

I don't think I ever was a little boy.

...

I'm not actually real, Rose.

LsgG3Khm.jpg

aZi5cvcm.jpg

Click to expand...

I feel like the joke would have been better if in that last image you were hiding under the covers of your bed to reference when Rose did it to you.
Ah. Well I was actually hiding under the desk.
Probably wasn't obvious enough about that.
Whoops!


Derogatory Trainer said:
IeuXMdCm.jpg


LALALA I'M NOT LISTENING TO THIS AGAIN!
Click to expand...

Maybe that pamphlet would work in place of a diary actually.
The pamphlet is never going to happen in the end.
When I get badgered to do something I usually quadruple down on not doing it.



Derogatory Trainer said:
iIw9lZhm.jpg


B-but I'm sure that Baby Deoxys was evil.

After all it looked evil!

And doesn't the Bible say to judge a book by it's cover and then destroy that book for being heretical?
Click to expand...

Clearly you have never seen a biblically accurate angel before...
Well...have you?
Like has ANYONE?


Derogatory Trainer said:
Uh...

Guys?

2ck21Ezm.jpg


I didn't want to mention it earlier because I was specifically aiming to run out the clock...

ZyHrzizm.jpg


But you know solar eclipses only last 7 minutes right?

fYPU3edm.jpg

24sdPKvm.jpg

BQsKLEnm.jpg

Click to expand...

Good thing you're in pokeland, where the normal rules don't apply!
Where time only actually progresses when we talk to people.

Derogatory Trainer said:
pokemon.jpg


Who's your money on for winning the World Tournament?
I'm Team Iris obviously.
Click to expand...

Why it's obviously going to be Diantha!

... That was a joke, in case you couldn't tell.

For real though I honestly don't know, but if Ash DOES end up winning then I think that's it for him as the protagonist. You can't really go anywhere else when you're literally the worlds strongest. Hell that problem will persist even if he DOESN'T win, because he's still a top 8 trainer.

Also I was very confused why you picked Iris until I remembered who her partner Pokémon was.
She might beat Lance at least since Leon and him already fought once.
Nahhh...it would be a bold move to get rid of Ash. We all know this franchise doesn't like making bold moves.

That's the majority of the reason, yes.
HAXORUS REPRESENT


Derogatory Trainer said:
Nosy people ALWAYS have something to say after all.
I mean, you DID call me a stalker once or twice.
And only a stalker would remember such a detail thus proving my point.
Derogatory Trainer said:
What do you mean?
OH GODDAMMIT. I THINK THAT'S THE MOST FUCKING GENUINE MISTAKE I'VE EVER MADE
GOD I DON'T WANT TO GO BACK TO REBORN AND DEAL WITH HIM.
Asking the guy who constantly flirts with you to kneel for you was a bad idea. Who could have seen that coming?
Not I.
I don't tend to think about those kind of things before I say them.
I have a very pure hearted mind and soul you see.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Did I EVER claim otherwise?
...
Do NOT check.
Yes you did you hack.
Well I didn't check so I'm going to continue to believe I am right in this matter.
Derogatory Trainer said:
"No! Stop it, No-Name! "
"If you do this now it will drain away all the time you have left on Earth! And I say you need every second of it as it is!"
Starts doing it more.
DON'T GO EVEN FURTHER THAN FURTHER BEYOND NO-NAME!
Derogatory Trainer said:
THAT'S SOMETHING AN "ALL WOMEN ARE QUEENS" MAN WOULD SAY!
Oh god seeing that phrase (even sarcastically) makes me cringe.
It's better than claiming they're "goddesses" like so many of those crappy self-help books do.
*reads this chapter*
OKAY at least when I claim that I'm a god, I'm doing so as someone stronger than over two/thirds of the human population while I say it.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I TRUST YOU LESS!
Not like you risk your life in battle for me.
Really, THAT is why you trust me less?
Seeing someone charge an angry mob while screaming "FOR DEROGATORY TRAINEERRRR" goes a long way in building trust, you know.
Derogatory Trainer said:
I...know? I caught that one.
That was Damocles.
Huh.... I don't remember Damocles ever having Flamethrower.
Well yeah, I got rid of it because it's not that great a move for a Ground/Psychic type to have.
Why would I send Damocles out against any bugs or grass types for it to be useful in the first place?
This isn't a beginner Pokemon journey through Sinnoh where you teach your 'mons to have the most coverage possible.
This is all about dealing DAMAGE as fast and as quickly as possible.

Derogatory Trainer said:
AND WHO IS POISONING THE WATER SUPPLY YOU MAY ASK?
THE FUUUUUCKING BLAKEORYS!
THINK ABOUT IT! HAVING A BUNCH OF TECHNOLOGICALLY BRILLIANT BUT OTHERWISE RETARDED WORKERS IS A CORPORATION'S WET DREAM! THEY CAN OVERWORK THEM AND THEY WOULDN'T COMPLAIN BECAUSE THEY WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT A LABOUR LAW IS IN THE FIRST PLACE!
I mean, I'm all for destroying free will and knowledge but I don't trust the Blakeorys with that responsibility.
I'm against that completely!
...
Probably because I'm at the bottom of the ladder as I say it.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Well you'd THINK I could trust her ONCE not to fuck everything up but no.
That never happens.
I meant "Who else could stop her?"
...
Erin, maybe?


Derogatory Trainer said:
Niiiice.
Went way better than when you got post 1000 where the mods yelled at us because they're no fun at parties.
Or that time I got 666th post but then lost it to Uberle because Xenforo sabotaged me.
Thank you, Xenforo.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Nnnnno?
The only thing she's killed is a Raticate so she could drench Melia's handbag in it's blood.
...
Aaahhh...Pokemon Rejuvenation never disappoints when you try to explain any scene, does it?
Does she still do that in V13?
I...wouldn't know?
Probably?
If they're willing to hollow out a Volcanion's insides and replace it with lava I'm pretty sure one dead Raticate isn't much of a big deal.


Derogatory Trainer said:
No.
That's not how this game and its 90% female cast works.
Every one is stupid. EVERYONE.
Why did you feel it was necessary to include the 90% female cast part?
Because we were talking about a nice GUY who isn't stupid?
Much harder to find when most of the cast is a woman, isn't it?


Derogatory Trainer said:
Just like all my japanese manga's said I would be!
Somehow I don't feel that hentai is too trustworthy.
Of course it is.
Or are you going to tell me that there are siblings in japan ARE related by blood and not some overly convenient re-marriage or adoption?
Impossible.


Derogatory Trainer said:
My least favourite is chocolate.
HEATHEN
Fully chocolate ANYTHING is garbage.
If it is a vanilla with chocolate chips that's okay. Or a chocolate bar with a biscuit inside.
But PURE chocolate is rancid.

Derogatory Trainer said:
I know at least ONE person only like him just because he's against me.
I just have to figure out which one of you it is...
Me or Hycrox
Pretty sure Hycrox is long dead, man.
Haven't seen him 'round here in ages.
Also I'm pretty sure you don't just like Caesar ONLY because he disagrees with me.
He gets a lot of the best jokes put upon him.


Derogatory Trainer said:
THIEVERY!?
I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW DEROGATORY TRAINER IS NO THIEF AND THAT WILL ALWAYS BE TRUE AS LONG AS YOU NEVER CHECK BACK BECAUSE I MIGHT HAVE STOLEN SOMETHING AND FORGOTTEN ABOUT IT!
YOU DEFINITELY HAVE
NOPE.
I STOLE NOTHING.
I may have innocently appropriated some goods and Pokemon at times but those were all for the good of the region!
Which could HARDLY be considered stealing.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Bah.
You lot are going to love it, don't lie.
Drama, jokes, plot, nonsense, death. This is right up your alley!
yes Yes YEs YES YES!
Run's cancelled.
Go home.


Derogatory Trainer said:
M-ME?
HAVE FAULTS IN MY PERSONALITY!?
SOMEBODY EXECUTE THIS MADMAN!
I shall stand up for this madman!
Execute THIS madman as well while you're at it!
He must be mad to stand up for someone I JUST declared was going to be executed!


Derogatory Trainer said:
"Is this funny?" and "Will it make Sean suffer?" and unfortunately a psycho being my wife is both funny AND suffering.
She's still hot though.
Ehhhh...maybe if I saw a more natural look on her face she'd be prettier.
zFHOH4Im.jpg

All this look tells me is to turn 180 degrees and run away as fast as I can.
...
Well that or challenge her to a Pokemon battle but that's more of a cultural thing than a natural one.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Sunken treasure can buy you a lot of fancy Turkish ice-cream, you know.
Is Turkish ice-cream really that fancy? I've had it (I literally live there), it is good but nothing particularly special.
Apologies, the ice-cream was actually from Dubai and not Turkey like I thought.
Explains the stupid extravagance of the ice-cream though.
Dubai in a nutshell.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Until Part 5. Where she can teleport me around. Is Alakazite available yet?
Alakazite is not available as of v13.
FUCK.
Oh well.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Is it possible to break multiple shields at once? Like with something overpowered like a Normal Gem, Galvanise, Alolan Golem Explosion?
No, it is not.
Well now it DOESN'T EVEN matter anymore!
The rest of the game should be a piece of cake from now on! Wahahahaha!

Derogatory Trainer said:
I did another one aaaages that even Jan liked.
But we won't see that for a few more chapters yet.
Is that the Evangelion template based on the bad future?
No, it was the one where Melia was choking Melanie.
e0tf7rd.jpg


I got private messaged that screenshot of Jan's tumblr.
Was nice to see honestly.

Derogatory Trainer said:
It's sad I know.
We'll NEVER get to see Aelita or Erin in a bikini at this rate!
You picked the wrong game for that, buddy.
Erin comes pretty close at times with her outfits.
Kinda odd that the bookworm girl shows the most skin out of the entire cast bar maybe Valarie.
Who's whole gimmick is "I like swim".


Derogatory Trainer said:
SHE'S STILL ONLY 11!
I'VE STILL GOT SOME TIME BEFORE THE TEENAGE REBELLION CAN HAPPEN!
How is Rose's age determined?
When I got here we determined she was nearly five.
It's been six years since then.
But she'll probably not get any teenage rebellion until she's 130 due to how long lived she is so I might be okay.
I mean I'll be dead but still...
O.K.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I'm...oddly touched by that?

...

That's probably a major red flag but whatever.
I love this trope for some reason.
"I will respect and follow you because you keep me on a VERY loose leash and are almost as terrible as I am."

Derogatory Trainer said:
Like...you mean telepathically and not the usual natural disasters and bad weather?

Are you an Absol now?

aMbb1cnm.jpg


Say sike right now.

I don't want you developing no friggin' super-powers.

Click to expand...
Yes, she CAN sense the earth and all.
However THAT works.
Why can the EARTH sense the future, huh?
It's a big hot ROCK.


Derogatory Trainer said:
xhoKvmXm.jpg


I half-expect her to be in yet another evil woman's headlock when we meet up again.

Click to expand...
What is this referencing? It feels like I should remember but I don't
It's not really referencing anything?
She just gets into a lot of trouble is all I'm saying.
Angie, I guess would fit?


Oh god shaky cam. KILL IT WITH FIRE.
You FOOL.
It's caused by an EARTHQUAKE!
Use WATER attacks not fire!
It's like you don't even know you're in a forum about Pokemon!


Derogatory Trainer said:
It's probably come here to do terrible tentaclely things to our Japanese women!

And those are MINE ALONE to fondle!
Again, wrong game for this.
...
So Pokemon Reborn then?


Derogatory Trainer said:
He isn't trying to invade NOR molest our Japanese women!
You're probably right about the former but how do you know he doesn't want to do naughty stuff to women?
Deoxys doesn't have a sex.
It could feasibly DO those things but it wouldn't get anything from it.


Oof, this question is gonna come up again.
ARE YOU EVEN HUMAN, NO-NAME!?
YOU COULD BE AN A.I. SENT TO MONITOR ME IN CASE I ACTUALLY RALLY PEOPLE TO MY ROBOT KILLING CAUSE!

Why are the misogyny and perv jokes in this run so funny?
...
Jokes?

Anyway, plot time! Fucking finally!
M-maybe somebody has a Help Request we can do real quick?
Edit: Sorry for the botched formatting, the spoiler function went haywire
It's fine.
Happens to the best of us.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I'm trying a bluer light than my last attempt at lighting so let me know if it's any better.

I think the bluer light makes the photos feel a lot more accurate to the real world colour-wise. They're also a little crisper with stronger contrast, so I'd say stick with it.
OH NO! NOW YOU'LL ALL SEE MY GHOUL-LIKE COMPLEXION FROM YEARS OF AVOIDING THE SUN!
TIME TO DIAL UP THE RED LIGHT TO MAXIMUM!

FUZ7LXLm.jpg

Ahhhh...just look how healthy my skin looks now...

Derogatory Trainer said:
The more down the rabbit hole I go the more I feel like it's EVERY authority figure that needs to be eaten.
Over the last ten years it feels like they've all gotten progressively worse at their jobs.
Normally I'd be all over supporting this comment but just last week my country had an election that fucking DEMOLISHED the openly corrupt religious far right existing government and replaced it with a Prime Minister and staff who not only campaigned on actually fixing shit, but are already actively working to fix said shit. I'm sure it won't last but I'm going to cling to hope. (For literally the first time ever we have a PM who ISN'T a private school educated upper class fucknut, but someone who grew up on the poverty line. So when he says the way the country treats the poor is unacceptable, I actually believe him.)
Yeah they ALWAYS campaign on fixing stuff.
Time usually reveals that they were full of shit or that they faced "barriers" to achieving the goal.
In my exalted opinion, politicians are worth less than a piss in the wind and will change directions just as quickly.
If something positive actually gets achieved then good for you.


Derogatory Trainer said:
It was meant to be a satirical critique of America's foreign policy and attitudes in 2004, wasn't it?
Pretty accurately too from what I remember.
Yeah it was fairly accurate but honestly that was part of what made it so skin-crawlingly uncomfortable.
Well I was but a wee lad of ten then so I only really found it funny that puppets were swearing.
It's like that one video of the Sesame Street Count.


Derogatory Trainer said:
She never battles me herself.
Not once.
And I'm PISSED about it.
Mother-fucker! THIS IS POKEMON, BASED ON A JRPG. FIGHTING HER FOR BEING A FUCKING ASSHOLE IS PRACTICALLY THE LAW.
I'm sure she'll show up again at some point and then we'll FINALLY have that battle.
Maybe on her second prison break.


Derogatory Trainer said:
But he doesn't have any Pokemon with him.
Making him balless and therefore non-human in my eyes.
What the hell is he doing without any in a world where everyone has one. He could be overpowered by a child!
I got the impression from XY and SuMo that whatever killed his former Pokemon partner traumatised him so bad he couldn't bring himself to take on a new one. Which is something at least, acknowledging that sometimes people get fucked UP and can't handle things that are supposedly the norm.
He should probably find another line of work then.
I suppose if he sticks solely to the detective work and leaves the law enforcement to others it's work.
...
Well it'd work anywhere outside Aevium.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Hmmm...that's far more diplomatic than rounding up all their agents, mailing them back to Interpol HQ and giving them one warning not to send anymore or next time, I'll just send back the heads...
Maybe I'll try it.

I'm all for the diplomatically sneaky way of handling people like that, because my body be fucked so I learned the arts of true passive aggression and forward planning.

Which honestly probably makes me an ideal Bond villain.
And unfortunately like any ideal Bond villain, you'll lose to the idealized form of masculinity due to being consumed by your own hubris or malice or whatever...
And then you die.
Possibly in a very ironic way.
And the movie title will be something like Requiem for Mercury or 800 Degrees of Death.


Derogatory Trainer said:
And getting this one is WAY less dubious in Reborn where you have to...provide the "parts" for it.

*GAG* WHAT. They actually. What the fuck?! There's being edgy and then there's being just plain fucking sick!
What was it again?
I think you needed to provide a Carvahna, a Unfezant and a Luxray for it?
Definitely not something I will be doing.


Derogatory Trainer said:
They're just so, so bad...Pelipper does everything it does but BETTER.
Hell even the Pokemon it was supposed to be ripping off (Golduck) is better than it.
Plus Pelipper has Drizzle as an ability and that shit is BROKEN on most halfway passable water types. I've actually used Pelipper and enjoyed it. It would take a whole ton of work to make Swanna something I'd ever willingly use. (Especially in a region where Samurott is the water starter.)
And Swanna's one impressive move (Hurricane) becomes a 100% hit rate when it's raining so Pelliper can do THAT better as well.
They should really start improving the crapmons already. Jan's crests are a good idea in that regard.


Derogatory Trainer said:
And guess what!? We get to USE the things she created with blood magic for ourselves to make our own Pokemon stronger in Part 4&5!
Hooray for making the best of a bad thing!
As edgy as their creation is, Crests are the best thing I've ever seen added to a Pokemon game. Makes a lot of shit Pokemon more viable.

I've been playing Fire Emblem Three Houses a lot lately to catch up on some stuff that was patched in (mostly so I can be ready for Three Hopes) and I legit did a double-take and went "RHEA WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING IN A POKEMON GAME".
Thankfully Pokemon don't become warped by them. They're just shiny trinkets that hold amazing stat and/or ability boosting powers.
No Haxorus one yet, but I remain optimistic.
But what I REALLY could use is a Tangrowth one that swaps his shit Special Defense with his high Attack stat because that never gets used anyway.


Derogatory Trainer said:
So this joke was all for nothing really.

Iunno, having been forced to sit through a wine-tasting unit during one of my courses, I honestly thought that joke was some of your best material yet! (I mean really, 'hints of peach and a whiff of tarmac' is an actual review of a wine I had to taste and all I got was borderline vinegar when I tasted it. Fuck wine and fuck wine ponces.)
...
What an odd college course where WINE-TASTING is one of the units there.
Haha "a whiff of tarmac" how the fuck would a wine even get that? Did someone spill it outside and hastily scooped it back in the bottle?


Derogatory Trainer said:
Or are you feeling a shiver down your spine due to being this close to your minimum-wage workplace?

*shudder* I don't know about Melia but I certainly do whenever I have to get too close to my old job...
I don't know how her hours work if she can just fuck off back to her own time for however long and still be back in time for her shift.
Like is she SO perfect that she can just show up whenever and be put to work?


Yeah, because the supposedly omnipotent goddesses of FUCKING TIME AND SPACE decided to make you work a back-breaking minimum wage job because god forbid they have to make arrangements for the people they keep fucking kidnapping!
I think it's more Irving that does that but there isn't really any excuse for Timpea and Spacea not to help out with fundraising for their little commune.
I doubt waitressing could be considered back-breaking, especially when the only food in this world is red and yellow goo.
She should try shovelling coal or splitting timber, THAT'S back-breaking.



Well I guess there are worse people to hold the reins of an omnicidal Ice type...
Nobody else COULD hold them.
Anybody actually evil would grasp them too tight causing Chiller to rebel, anybody too good would grasp them too loosely and not be able to control him.
I'm the Baby Bear of this Goldilocks situation. Juuuust right.



...Why. WHY. THEY ARE LITERALLY ABLE TO CONTROL SPACE AND TIME.
Or so they SAY!
I dunno. Wasn't there a thing with gods where they usually can only work through champions or something?
Granted that was probably to keep most myth and legends from going "And then Zeus came down and killed or fucked the evil monster".



And in this time period they're in Hisui going batshit, and being calmed and tamed by a tiny nerd. I don't see what they'd want with you when they could be fixing the Ingo mess.
Hisui is non-canon in the Derogatory Timeline unfortunately.
That stupid shrinking Pokemon theory made it so.
Also this time period was only fifty years ago since Souta and Eldest were alive back now, not however many years ago when Hisui is set.


Again I ask WHY. WHY THIS STUPID AND ARBITRARY RULE.
*shrug*
No clue.
Could be any number of reasons really.


Derogatory Trainer said:
That is a map of Skyrim that came with the game back in 2011.

...

Holy shit, that's been on my bedroom wall for since I was 17.

What fucking brand of White-tack did I use and where can I get more!?

Firstly, NICE. Secondly, you call it White-tack over there? Here it's called Blu-tack because it's this weird shade of blue-grey. It is admittedly also strong as fuck, when my parents moved right before the pandemic I had to take down pictures that had been there for about 20 odd years on one application.
No it's two different brands. It just happens to be White Tack this time.
Although I haven't actually seen Blu-Tack much in the last few years.
They are surprisingly strong for a little wad of gum. There's a poster on the same wall with one corner hanging off and it's been like that for seven years with no slippage.


Derogatory Trainer said:
And that feeling is your common sense finally kicking in. Either that or your ability to see patterns is starting to develop.
Aelita is definitely the best girl. <3
No question.
Erin seems to be becoming the dark horse of this contest though.
IF she softens up a bit.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Bah! That's just propaganda we heard from the mainstream Melia!
Okay I admit it, it took a second for this to register because I think I pronounce Melia differently, but when it hit it hit me good. HAH!
Goddammit. I keep forgetting that most people pronounce it Melly-uh.
It's literally ONE letter away from Media so why isn't it said like that?!
Doesn't help that I call her Smellia sometimes either.



Someone who actually cares about consequences! God Aelita I'm so very very glad you're back. Even if I have a sneaking suspicion I'm going to want to punch a whooooole lot of assholes on your behalf by the end of this mess.
I like to imagine Melia and Erin watched Katsu run past to an active meteor zone and just didn't care enough to stop her.
Like she passed them and their eyes followed her with eerie music playing.
THEY WANTED HER TO DIE!


It almost killed her, she can call it whatever the fuck she wants.
Technically, this was almost a vehicle accident.
Bit much to call the person who almost hit you with what their equivalent of a car an "abomination".
Also there are WAY uglier pokemon to call that.


Given what we find out about this woman over the next few minutes, FUCK YOU VIVIAN. You're quite happy to murder them willy-nilly without witnesses, but the moment there's someone around who might call you out on being a psycho...
Also a very weird way of talking for a supposed Sensei of a kung-fu village.
Seems very casual to just say "Hey, buddy. Can you do me a solid"?
Like I'd expect to hear that from my mechanic not my Sensei.


I can't believe they're actually making a third one of those movies.
And I can't believe that this is the first I've heard about a second one even existing.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Which brings up the awkward realisation that Melia and Erin passed Katsu as well but didn't give a shit.
Honestly? Given how Melia's been behaving lately I would absolutely believe she just plain stormed past without even registering that someone who wasn't part of her ~special friends~ was around. And Erin... well we already knew Erin's a moody bitch. Even if she does get some of the best burns.
Muh Venam basically.


You LITERALLY just tried to make Sean MURDER A BABY POKEMON. How about you shut the fuck up?!
YEAH! FORCE your ideal of her shutting the fuck up upon her, LittleMercury!

Derogatory Trainer said:
Some of the worst kids come from parents who don't exert some manner of control over them.
One day I'll share with this comm the story of my ex-boyfriend's little brother, who was literally not allowed to be told 'No' under any circumstances. Including shoving his face in my tits and screaming at the top of his lungs for the entire two hour trip from the local snowfields back to civilisation. FUCK that kid.
Haha. He's got impressive lung control though.
I mean screaming for TWO hours straight? Kid should be an opera singer.


Ahahahahaha excuse me WHAT. I fucking hate kids and I would never EVER tell someone's distraught mother that, I would be helping her look for her missing five year old because I'm not a heartless bastard!
We learn this chapter that Vivian can sense life energy so she knew full well that Anastasia was hiding right there behind that tree the whole time.
...
We also learn that the region shattering disaster is coming soon which she also knows about so the coy little remark about "turning up eventually" is still terribly negligent.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Regards to the Pokemon anime

I can't decide between Steven or Iris for the winner honestly. Iris versus Lance will probably be fun to watch though.
STEEEEVEN STONE!? EUGH NO.
Also it's just been announced that Steven's going against Ash in the first round so RIP Metagross.


Derogatory Trainer said:
DSV14mLm.jpg


I'm...oddly touched by that?

...

That's probably a major red flag but whatever.
I mean, if nothing else reduces the risk of Chiller getting bored and trying to figure exactly what the rules of your immortality are.
He's weak to being punched in the face due to being made of literal ice-cream instead of whatever the fuck normal Vanilluxes bodies are made of so I wouldn't worry too much about me.
Also I just looked at the wiki page and check this shit out.
D0IJclDUwAAmHAn.jpg:large

CANON VANILLUXE IS JUST A STUPID SHAPED ICICLE MONSTER AND NOT AN ICE-CREAM AT ALL!

Niiiice.
Went way better than when you got post 1000 where the mods yelled at us because they're no fun at parties.
Well yeah, but they're justified in that. Plus it didn't matter due to them already seeing deleted messages.
Yeah but who cares about THEM!?

Derogatory Trainer said:
I refuse because there is the chance I might lose and if people don't see me as undefeatable their hopes and dreams will be crushed.
...
I have accidentally become Hercule from Dragonball Z.
FUCK.
You only take on battles you know for sure you can win? Sort of sounds like the anime version of Guzma. Except Guzma is actually given proper respect from most people compared to Rejuv Sean. Reborn Sean gets respect though. I think.
No, there's just a much higher chance of me losing to a human than an AI and me battling a human will always be optional so why risk the loss?
Reborn Sean's respect only goes as far as Meteor Grunts fearing him.
I bet nobody will give a shit when he becomes Champion.


Derogatory Trainer said:
DID YOU NEVER THINK TO QUESTION WHY IT'S A CHARIZARD AND A SCEPTILE IN THE FORUM'S BANNER?
Because they're cool Pokemon. I didn't really put much thought into it.
I am disgusted in the young Nuzlockers of today not knowing their history.
It's shameful is what it is.

Derogatory Trainer said:
The power of being an Aeviumite.
All stats go into intelligence but none into actual wisdom.
I suppose it's better than being a Rebornian.
The stats are more spread out but their emotional intelligence takes a swan dive into a black hole at times.
Like, no Florinia. Turning off your emotions is not the appropriate response to the high-school equivalent of "we don't want to play with you anymore".
Honestly, without spoiling much, I feel like they do a lot better with these characters in the final update.
Yeah, I'm seeing that a lot in my new playthrough.
Fern is clearly getting more excuses as to why he's a prick and Heather isn't nearly as bratty anymore.
...
Cain, of course, remains the same.


Derogatory Trainer said:
The only thing she's killed is a Raticate so she could drench Melia's handbag in it's blood.
...
Aaahhh...Pokemon Rejuvenation never disappoints when you try to explain any scene, does it?
Can't wait to see how you try to explain the latest episode of Rejuv to a stranger now.
I travelled back in time to punch an alien and immediately after I got involved in a family drama about a family I could not care in the SLIGHTEST about.

Derogatory Trainer said:
That's what I was thinking too. The Time Order or whatever governs the Celebi will punish me for how I deal with the meteor in the Delta episode and send me back onto the train before it crashes.
I and Mako will keep our memories of the first timeline. The others...maybe not? Jasmine could at least.
Things WILL be different though and I will react appropriately. No more "WHY SURE SOLARIS! I'LL TURN MY BACK SO YOU CAN CHOP OFF MY HEAD!" bullshit. I'm gonna tear that Garchomp a new asshole on that volcano.
IF I do it. Might just be lazy.
That's the weirdo in the hat with the playing cards motif, right? Yeah that'll be one of the first signs that Sean's memories won't be as useful.
Having somebody to bounce off who also remembers the impactful scenes would be fun. Like the both of you going through the Dittarceus slaughter all over again. From raving with an Amphoros and a Mismagius after his trainer was kidnapped, to being reverted to his first stage and sent back before all of the pain and slaughter his life had since become. Jasmine could also be fun, having to come to terms that everything they had done before is meaningless due to the power of a pissed off pixie they never met. On the plus side, Sickle will be alive again. Or, not exactly sickle due to it being some alternate time
I think I'll just have it be Mako in the end. That whole starter Pokemon bond and what have you.
Plus some things aren't exactly as they were in the new timeline.
The Meowstic in the shack was a male this time around so Selina is called Kyle now (god I'm so funny) and a few others have changed in that regard too.

The run's going pretty well so far though. (Which is the main reason this chapter was so late)
Miiiight have been a bit too generous with the event Pokemon but it doesn't really matter. I'm still in the parts of the game I know like the back of my hand so their numbers will probably be cut down pretty quickly.
Because I'm at Serra and I'm lost two more Pokemon than I did in the first run even though I beat the Garchomp easily this time.
Sickle is mostly the same but I'm changing her character to be more interested in exploring since the Kricketot we received was cooped up all the time. Plus Kricketune learns a lot of HMs so it works out pretty well.



Derogatory Trainer said:
Yeeahhh...I don't think I'll get one in Reborn.
I am 100% going to immediately have the people making it arrested.
That's better than what happens if they complete the project at least. Good on you for saving lives.
Yeah it's a pretty fucked process.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Can't have it be TOO legendary now, can we?
...
Even though Mewtwo is man-made as well.
Maybe Kanto scientists are just better than Hawaiian ones?
To be fair, Mewtwo was born from scratch using the dna of a legendary pokemon. Silvally didn't have that luxury.
Was it not?
Oh right, it was made with cells from every Pokemon type not actually Arceus.
And with the RKS system working off of discs, I guess Silvally is basically a cyborg.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Haven't decided yet really.
Want to work my tragic origin story nuzlocke and a Dragon Quest or some other non-Pokemon Rpg playthrough in somewhere.
Finally we'll be getting that tragic backstory that has been hinted at since the beginning of Reborn? i'll keep an eye out for that then, sounds fun.
Yeah it should be good for a laugh and also LORE.
Like you'll finally learn Reborn Sean's real name before he changed it to Sean.

Now, I did have a plan for those last two. But I forgot before I wrote it down. Hadn't planned on some romance between the sorcerer or witch hunter, but after you mentioned it, I think I can see it. Also, I'll now be playing a cleric that believes himself to be above others so much that he gave himself holy powers in my next campaign, so thank you.
Haha no problem.
It's a great gimmick for a good or evil character.



As for the anime, unfortunately I cannot see a future for Ash as the protagonist after this season. If its like I'm assuming and going to be his last season, I want him to actually go out with a bang and win the entire tournament.
I'd be surprised if it was his last and a little bit sad but I don't expect it to be.
He has to go to Poke-Spain and catch a LECHONK after all.
What are they gonna do, have a NEW character?
Please.


I would prefer Cynthia and her Mega Garchomp to win though, for obvious reasons. Inb4 the writers make Alain wins and trigger the XY fanboys again
Booo to your "Cynthia is the hardest champion" meme. She was only hard because you were like ten at the time.
What I want is to trigger the Sinnoh fanboys and have Tobias make a surprise comeback.
Or maybe trigger the non-existent Unova fanboys and have them bring back that retard Cameron.


If Ash never faces Leon, then what was the point of the series to that point.
If he loses to Leon, I don't see him going back to doing gym badges again when the greatest tournament is still going.
Would the tournament not be over once Leon wins? They're probably going to face off in the finals.
And if he wins, then he's now considered the strongest in the world, and can't exactly go onto the next region as he always has.
I suppose the one way I can see Ash continuing into the next series is if he and Leon tie in the finals, both learning they still have more to learn and vowing to challenge each other again in the future.
Well he still could, after all, what do the other Champions do but wander about other regions?
Very true but if they nerf Pikachu again they'll be hell to pay.

Heck. Ash battling and absolutely destroying Wallace, an ex champion of Hoenn, is only an offscreen battle now.
Yeah but Wallace always sucked. His team is incredibly weak to some of Hoenn's very common types.
Barely anyone even remembers he was a Champion either.



Onto match ups, I'd love to see Ash battle Steven and Cynthia before reaching Leon. A lot of people want him to battle Alain again to make up for his XY loss, but it would feel like an insult if he bests Alain with his Journeys team, considering how underwhelming its been this whole time.
Yeah. Have him battle people he never really has before not some guy he could have beaten if not for lucky bullshit.
I still want Iris to win though.


Derogatory Trainer said:
That's not how this game and its 90% female cast works.
Every one is stupid. EVERYONE.
Uhhh....I'm fairly certain you aren't- wait no your avatar is.
And when he's NOT being stupid he's actively working against me.
You'll see in the chapter after this.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Is what going to be a problem?
me reminding you scooby doom let you continue the run.
...
What?
No he didn't?
Scooby Doom got killed by a cheap Destiny Bond by Narcissa's last Pokemon. The others were fine.
I thought we were talking about Cybus anyway?

Derogatory Trainer said:
...what?
I'd have to rewrite a whole game that isn't even finished yet. OF COURSE that'd take a lot more editing!
...
Did you think I was just talking about some scenes? Because I wasn't.
Sorry, I wrote that off the back of a 3 hour work period involving editing. My mind was still kind of in editing mode. Thinking about it, s pretty obvious it's the entire game and YEA, I don't think it's entirely worth it. But seriously what software would you even do to edit that much?
The game was made on RPG Maker XP. I COULD theoretically rewrite the entire game and code in completely different scenes but why would I do that?
Rejuvenation isn't THAT bad. The story's fucking bonkers at times but I still have fun with it.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Now if only I could make the other characters personalities better. It feels like the only truly concrete ones are Rose, Chiller and Caesar.
Which is sweetheart, psychopath and traumatized moral guardian.
I mean....most stories that have more than 12 characters require more people. Don't ask me how I know that's the max limit before a person starts to lose track of character personalities, it's just a random tidbit I always remember.
I wrote my character's personalities down but most of them are like...one sentence long.
Chiller's is only the word "Psycho" and nothing else.

Derogatory Trainer said:
TO THE DEPTHS WITH YOU FOR NOT KNOWING EVERYTHING ABOUT A FRANCHISE THAT I KNOW A LOT ABOUT!
Shadow of War is just set in Mordor though. You wouldn't get much info on the rest of middle-earth from it. Especially since it's set between the Hobbit and the Lord of the Rings periods.
.....Honestly I forgot that. Whoops. It has been so long stuff blends together.
Oh don't feel too bad. I'm a complete novice when it comes to that stuff.
Like I know the LOTR and the Hobbit pretty well but all that other stuff like the Similarrion or Children of Hurin I couldn't tell you a thing about them.
And I've read those books before.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Paradox just makes you sound like a corny villian anyways.
Like "Prepare yourself against the perilous plans of PARADOX".
Yyyyep.
God does that make me feel tired.
ugh god fuck that is such a stupid thing I am never becoming a villain....and yes it does.
You would 100% be punched in the face by someone wearing a flag as a costume.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Makes me glad I never did anything creative in my really younger years. Now I'll NEVER have to be reminded of what I did as a teenager!
That's what's stopping me from nuking it from orbit. People still find it entertaining.
yay!
But the new one will be soooo much better.
...
Probably.
...
I'll at least have better haircuts in the photos.

Derogatory Trainer said:
It was...just the first thing I saw that I could smack someone with on my desk and not be psychopathic.
Like you can playfully slap someone with a ruler but you can't with a desk lamp.
.....I suppose that's true. but why not with like, a plushie? I've got a plushie on my desk I sometimes hug when I'm stressed.
Well aside from slapping someone with a teddy bear being ridiculous.
I'm not the kind of person to take comfort in those things or deal with stress that way.
I either smack something around like a ball of a wall or a punching bag or go to sleep.


Derogatory Trainer said:
It appeals to me more than them going into hibernation or whatever.
Ideally they'd go to a Pokemon ranch like Ash's do in the anime and while that's the best option it seems kinda dull.
I mean that's cause Ash has Oak to look after them and his pokemon are relatively...calm. Yours are decidedly not.
Well MOST of them are okay. Chiller and Vahlen are definite no-nos.
Derogatory Trainer said:
Hahaha what?
Like I get gnawing on your nails when stressed but on the fucking wall? I'm not a goddamn hamster!
I dunno, sometimes you get pretty hangry sounding.
I assure you, the right top drawer in this very desk nearly always has some snacks in them.
Crackers, peanuts, beef bilitong or what have you.
I'm very rarely hangry in this room.


Derogatory Trainer said:
You should check it out.
She's doing a run of Pokemon Reborn right now.
SHE?! Ohhh fuck me running I feel incredibly stupid...I'll look later. it's like midnight as I'm writing this.
THE BIG REVEAL!
PIKAFAN96 = GIRL!?
She could be pretending do. She might be a cat that learned how to play Pokemon and make Nuzlockes.


Derogatory Trainer said:
No room for us old folks above 25.
Back in my day, I tell ya...
I'm actually 21....so I'm in that weird place stuck between the two. Blegh.
Yeah I figured you were young enough.
I was mostly talking about myself and the other boomer Pokemon fans.
Also jesus christ you were 14 when I first started doing the Nuzlocke shit.
I genuinely feel old after reading that.

A month?
That's pretty optimistic of you. I was hoping to fall into a coma for at least half a year.
I meant a month of total radio silence. I know you can't hold back from saying SOMETHING every month or so. Your too much of a showman to not.
Hey I disappeared for like a year when i injured my back.
Don't ever underestimate my capacity for laziness and ignoring things!

Derogatory Trainer said:
I always preferred games where yours is the only POV.
Like don't cut away to see what Skeletor and his generic RPG minions are up to. Because it'll suck me right out of it.
Agreed. To have the POV switch really requires a good plot. or at least one where it's viable.
Or at least make it corny.
Like if it had an old-timey cartoon narrator pop up and say "MEANWHILE IN MADAME X'S MANSION OF MISERY" or something.


Derogatory Trainer said:
What are THEY gonna do, huh?
As soon as that shipment of Red Chains comes in from Sinnoh, they'll be running from ME.
Uh, I was referring to the Power Rangers team dude. You can't exactly red chain them. Seriously, just assume when I make pop culture references that will affect you directly,its from a non-pokemon series. Why would I risk you catching a pokemon when that's something your good at?
Well I can beat the Time Force Power Rangers pretty easily too.
Instead of shooting explosions BEHIND them, I'll shoot AT them so they can't just scream "AUGH" while doing a front-flip.


Derogatory Trainer said:
You don't count. I'm technically always looking at you in reaction shots anyways.
Also I break your hands for being able to reach through the internet and fiddle with things because goddamn that's a scary power and you are attempting to undermine my authority.
Ok ONE, I'm a fucking Ghost, your power is resurrections and smoke detection, not being able to touch ghosts. SECONDLY I AM TRYING TO HELP YOU, YOU UNGRATEFUL GIT! WHY WOULD YOU THINK "REMOVE THE SWITCH THAT CAN TURN OFF ONE OF YOUR BEST TANKS" IS A BAD THING?! and once again, I'm a ghost/fairy type on here- my profile thingy says as much. why wouldn't I be able to fiddle with things? plus I could just use my mind if need be. Christ, you are far too paranoid- I am actually trying to be helpful.
Uhhh I used Odor Sleuth before I did so?
Don't really know how smelling lets me hit Ghost types but whatever.
The switch was installed for MY benefit so I can get him to shut up when he goes on a logical tirade, at what point are my Pokemon ever going to be facing AWAY from the enemy? They never have once this entire Nuzlocke!


Derogatory Trainer said:
I've never had that brand at least. I've had something similar though.
You want a thunderstone? You know Macross is a Rock/Electric monster, right?
Or do you just LIKE the taste of broken teeth?
Why are you assuming I'd EAT it. Besides, I'd just like...absorb it's power or something. And either way, I love eevee, why wouldn't I want one to get another Jolteon?
Well...that's what Macross did and I assumed you were consumed with food envy that you wanted some too.
Ah yes, "I'd just absorb it's power of something" and where did you pick up THAT ability, hm?
Why would you need TWO Jolteon?

Derogatory Trainer said:
Rose's one did.
Wiped out Zetta's entire team by herself.
Ah, fair. Forgot about that since Rose doesn't really go against you....most of the time.
Can't really recall a point where she did myself...
Was probably just a small argument about something.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Because she is smiling in this picture.
Was HOPING nobody would notice and instead focus on how I don't have a soul anymore but here we are.
Pfft, come on you haven't had a soul since you got warped to that Mansion. Why do you think I haven't tried anything? If your soul was there I'd have been trying to eat it for weeks.
EDIT: .....I-I'm coming back to this post and I think I was half delirious from writing nonstop for 2 hours without any breaks, food, or water, so i may have been a little off kilter. I'll be like that for a few of the next ones.
I technically have 8-9 souls.
One of which is God's.
...
I'll explain later.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Bedrest is recommended before attempting to reply to this run.
...Really? I do most of my replies at 11 pm.
Well you don't HAVE to.
Take some time on a Saturday morning or something.

Derogatory Trainer said:
THIEVERY!?
I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW DEROGATORY TRAINER IS NO THIEF AND THAT WILL ALWAYS BE TRUE AS LONG AS YOU NEVER CHECK BACK BECAUSE I MIGHT HAVE STOLEN SOMETHING AND FORGOTTEN ABOUT IT!
I'm not even going to tell you how many times you've stolen stuff, it's enough to make you groan in distress if paired with this yelling here.
It's hardly THAT many times, right?
There's like...the Fossil from West Gearan museum (which doesn't exist anymore) and what else?
The random garbage I find on the ground? The stuff I CONFISCATE from Team Xen bases?


Derogatory Trainer said:
For reading it? No.
For remembering it THIS well? Yeah, kinda.
Sigh. God I feel fucking tired that you of all people are calling me out on this. mostly since it feels like an insult.
I insult everyone in these comment sections once they stick around long enough.
It's how you know I respect you.
...
Either that or you've invested too much time to stop reading and are now trapped in this thread with me throwing metaphorical pies at your face.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I will when we get to the desert area at least. Mostly due to Reinhard's weakness to ground.
Problem is I made this guy's character up last week so I don't have much planned.
CHEERS SEAN.
I'LL DRINK TO THAT!
Derogatory Trainer said:
Bah.
You lot are going to love it, don't lie.
Drama, jokes, plot, nonsense, death. This is right up your alley!
Oh yea that's does sound good. Can't wait! It'll be a nice morning read (EDIT: It was. )
Well I hope you enjoyed this nice morning read as well.
...
Wait, what did I call this chapter again?

Derogatory Trainer said:
It's got poor defence though but the armour and magic should compensate. Pretty decent class otherwise.
...
As long as the weapons you're dual wielding aren't aren't katanas.
Then it's lame.
Pfft, no. Look whenever I decide to make a dual wielder, I usually go with a pair of polearms like a halberd, 2 longswords, 2 daggers, or a dagger and longsword mix. Has the best stat spread in most games that allow me to do that.
The only time I've used a katan as a dual wielding class is because it had some really good stat boosts- like it buffed my Shogun's best damage skill by 100 damage.
Em, side note this is Etrian Odyssey, where going over 1000 damage- in one attack, not multi-hit ones- is a fucking miracle before the postgame, unless your using one specific class that's only in 2 of the games or your using certain strategies.
Oh well thank god for that.
The two polearms sounds sick though. Like one of those broken Dark Souls builds.
I've never played Etrian Odyssey. Closest I've come was that Persona 3/4 version that came out years ago.
What is the appeal of the series?

Derogatory Trainer said:
He's actually a soldier for the Demon King's army that accidentally joined the wrong side and is desperately trying not to get caught out by your party? And every time he tries to defect back the opposing soldiers think it's a trap and attack him?
Honestly I'm going to steal that.
Go right ahead. It's a fun character.
Especially if at the very final battle he attempts to backstab the hero but the hero falls to one knee too injured to go on and he ends up killing the Demon Lord himself and everyone loves him for it.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Did you become a connoisseur of fine oxygen in the ten seconds we've been separated, Melia?
As someone who suffers from Asthma, I think what she's implying is that the pollution isn't as strong or the air feels fresher- aka theres a clean breeze. I have several damn memories of feeling relieved the air isn't as heavy or it's cleaner thanks to my asthma.
Was that a random tangent because I'm legitimately angry at people for not understanding how much the air's pollution levels can affect letting me breathe? Yes. Was this needed? No. Do I care? Hell no.
I'm pretty sure most people with working brains would know that air pollution affects how easily people breathe, asthma or no, wouldn't they?
I was just pointing out it's an odd line to use to prove we're in the past.
Like if I woke up in a forest a thousand years in the past I'm not going to instantly realise I've gone back in time, am I?


Derogatory Trainer said:
Or are you feeling a shiver down your spine due to being this close to your minimum-wage workplace?

Because that's understandable.

I get them when I pass where I used to work as a teenager too.
So do I....

Derogatory Trainer said:
Why does this girl get so many unique poses while the rest of us are stuck with boring old "stare vacantly into the middle-distance"?

Does she have blackmail material on Jan?

I demand she shares.
I think I actually know and you are going to HATE it. (Hint: she gets as bad as melia, if memory serves.)
Yeah I know her deal but even MELIA herself doesn't get the same expression treatment that Erin gets.
So my blackmail theory is STILL valid for now.

Derogatory Trainer said:
But at least it's not a lunar eclipse.

A blood moon will probably drive everyone crazy and send them into a blood-fuelled rampage.
Physically holding myself back from speaking about this and not going on a moon-based historical knowledge rant.
Derogatory Trainer said:
Vf3eoQBm.jpg


Anyway, to me it's like...

Lunar eclipses symbolise a mad and bloody evil while solar eclipses have a dark and ominous one?
Click to expand...
Angry twitching
I don't even believe in the moon.
I think it was put their by a race of intergalactic tyrants to monitor our population and will return to decimate us once we hit a certain limit.


Derogatory Trainer said:
55G787Ym.jpg


THE CUBE ISN'T READY YET!

IT NEEDS MORE SOULS CELLS!
Click to expand...
This is going to backfire in the worst way possible, I just know it....nothing good can come of this...
Nah. The joke is that it won't.
After all the sinister build up, I'll just get a sweet mech to pilot.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Hope you all brought your comedically undersized umbrellas!
Pffttt....ahhaaaaaaaa...
Looney Tune'd ya.
Derogatory Trainer said:
You mean the "GIST" of it.

Jist isn't a word, just a common misspelling of gist which means the meaning or core of an explanation.

How dare you do this HORRIBLE crime, Melia?
THANK YOU IF YOU HADN'T BLOODY SAID IT I WOULD HAVE!
USE PROPER FUCKING GRAMMAR GODDAMMIT WE HAVE MINI COMPUTERS IN OUR POCKETS, OR JUST USE SPELLCHECK!
To be fair, there isn't a spell-checker in the program to write this game.
And jist SOUNDS right but you could be mistaken by thinking "Oh that must be the American spelling".

Derogatory Trainer said:
xmqcna6m.jpg


You're probably right there.

But for a least two decades now my preferred way to die has been "knocking a meteor away to save the earth".
Click to expand...
Oh wow that's actually heroic of you! I'm proud of you Sean! (now please don't get all angry that I'm being nice about you being a good person, You are.)
Ehhh...it's more for selfish reasons than anything else.
Like if I did that nobody could ever claim to have died better than I did and the entire present and future population of Earth would always remember me.
(I'm an OKAY person, I'll admit that much at least. I'm no paragon by any means.)

Derogatory Trainer said:
Have you guys ever walked somewhere with a friend and never said a word to them?

Imagine how fucking awkward that'd be and then imagine it happening every single time you go anywhere with someone.

Brrr.
Yes I've actually had that experience. It is very disquieting.
Was it with an ACTUAL friend or just someone who was a friend of a friend?
Because the latter is very common, I imagine.

Derogatory Trainer said:
And I'm talking about the special kind of faggot that plays a stealth archer in Skyrim instead of meeting enemies head on with a warhammer or the kind that actually pays to win at multiplayer games.
uuuugghhhh.....I depise pay to win people its so...so....irritating and makes you want to snap.
I just don't bother with those games.
Like no thanks, I'll just pirate your game and NOT pay to win.

Derogatory Trainer said:
jW6M7WJm.jpg


Although...

I GUESS if it's just sensing the flow of nature like all the pro martial artists in anime are able to do, it's probably fine.
Click to expand...
I mean I think Aelita could do that already, it's a pretty damn cool power.
Nah she couldn't.
This is the first inclination of her being able to do something like this.


Derogatory Trainer said:
xJ2ixhwm.jpg


These rants are IMPORTANT, Nova!

They fill time when nothing interesting is happening or when I'm waiting for people to walk past me in a cutscene!
Click to expand...
ahahaha....Oh my Bahamut I love Nova. And you say you don't have good personalities for any of youe team but Rose, Caesar and Chiller. This? Nova is one of your best team members in terms of personality.
Nova's personality is pretty much just Caesars but she see's the humour in all of it.
That's it, really.

Derogatory Trainer said:
ADNDQ0xm.jpg


God, I hope so.

But you never know.

My ego frightens even me sometimes.
Click to expand...
As it frightens all of us. You are incredibly egotistical it's almost Thanos level.
And this chapter should make you all even more frightened.
Huzzah.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Although SOMETHING has to set Anastasia on the path to evil in the future.

Why not her mother getting squished by a meteor?
.....clasps hands and breathes in before pointing my hands at you Who's Anastasia again in this?
Nastasia's younger self. Nastasia being a high ranking Xen admin.
If a very uncreative one if her chosen codename was to remove the A from her name.

Derogatory Trainer said:
So does that mean Past-Me is doing a math puzzle so he can open Vitus' desk right now?

Wild...
Time travel is incredibly confusing.
on a related note please do not create a paradox, do you know how much work I have to do to fix those?
None at all since if you fixed the paradox by definition of a paradox being fixed the paradox never existed in the first place, right?
...
GOD I HATE FUCKING TIME TRAVEL.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Yes, but that happened back in 2019/10 minutes ago!

You can't expect me to remember EVERY detail of your daughter running away three years/eleven minutes ago!
effing time travel. Seriously no paradoxes.
I'm gonna go back in time to 2019 and say "Suck it, Roxy" now.
AND YOU CAN'T STOP ME!

Derogatory Trainer said:
Don't worry about it, Leeta.

I'm everywhere.

LDWvcRlm.jpg

8HUwLgBm.jpg

Click to expand...
I'm not going to lie, it took me a moment before it clicked that "oh this is an edit". I enjoy these, they add some life into this soulless game.
The easiest way to tell is if they respond to something I said.
Like Jan has made later versions of this game give the player more opportunities to talk but...
Well he's hardly going to be able to predict what I say, is he?

Derogatory Trainer said:
It turns out the long pause we experienced there was because I accidentally clicked off the game.

Whoops.
Slow claps
Slow claps get fast slaps so watch yourself, punk!
Derogatory Trainer said:
Ehh...probably.

But there's likely some abstract reasoning involving paradoxes that stop us from doing that.
YES THERE IS, AND THANKS TO MY NAME I HAVE TO FIX THEM ALL. (I'm not gonna lie I have been wanting to do this paradox fixing thing thanks to my name for weeks, thank youuuu)
...
Why not just change your name then?

Derogatory Trainer said:
And I shall do the same for you.

Good to see the Purple is still lurking under all that bubblegum and anger.
so would Purple be like grape and anger like cherry if the pink is bubblegum?
I see this is where the lack of nourishment and exhaustion hit you the hardest.
eheheheheehe......your getting good at this.
More to come, don't you worry.
Derogatory Trainer said:
I don't know how the rules of this immortality actually work though.

Could be a "nothing on this earth shall kill him" deal.

Can't be too careful if I only have conditional immortality.

Don't want to end up screwed by technicalities like Macbeth.
uughh that play has been the bane of every theater kids existence.....side note but do ghosts count as not of this earth?
I'd say they do. They were borne of this earth and are still on this earth, right?
Now ALIENS who died on Earth and came back as ghosts...THAT'S a tricky one.


As sure as bell peppers go together with anchovies on pizza!
What? I'm eating as i'm writing this and I've got an unnatural desire for salty foods. I could tell you my entire order if you want.
I'm being weird on purpose right now, I'm a little delirious from not eating.
Oh good you've finally gotten some food in you.
Not a fan of bell peppers myself though. Can't really get much of a taste off of them.
I DO like salt though. I eat bilitong and peanuts as a snack after all.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Although I suppose it is a both mythical AND actually alien Pokemon so your ignorance can be forgiven Katsu.

(Though I think it was booted down to legendary in ORAS since it's easier to get now?)

(I dunno. I don't care about legendaries.)
every legendary is nowadays.
Yeah, you can pretty much just hack them into your games now so who cares?
Derogatory Trainer said:
So many pictures...

My face STILL hurts from all the expressions...

WHY DID I DO A REACTION-LOCKE AND NOT JUST A REGULAR SCREENSHOT RUN!?!?

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
blame yourself from when you started Reborn. and now all of us expect that.
I do blame him.
He's the worst Past-Sean of all.
And no, there is NEVER going to be another reaction-locke out of me.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Is she implying nobody in Aevium is actually from Aevium?

They all just emigrated here after "something" happened to this Miera region?
I....JAN STOP INTRODUCING NEW PLOT POINTS AND ALL OF THIS. STICK TO WHAT LITTLE PLOT COHERENCY YOU HAVE OR SO HELP ME I WILL POISON YOU.
He'll never stop...his lust for new plot is insatiable...just wait until we get to part where we find out that the ancient Garufans were space aliens or something.
Derogatory Trainer said:
J4et5HNm.jpg


It's nothing so complicated as that.

The games exist here in the Pokemon World too, you know.

qzFLdFhm.jpg


I can't remember where exactly but there's a few NPCs that says they're playing the Pokemon game WITHIN the Pokemon world.

Plus there's a lot of those kids in earlier games with GBAs that say they're trading Pokemon with each other.
Click to expand...
I don't question it, it's more fun to speculate.
I question and then pick and choose what is canon in the TTCU.
Derogatory Trainer said:
LsgG3Khm.jpg

aZi5cvcm.jpg


GOOD!

YOU'VE LEARNED YOUR LESSON!

NEVER AGAIN SHALL THIS JOKE BE MADE!
Click to expand...
This is for her blowing you off after the ice cream get together isn't it?
No it's for her doing this to me once.
I do not appreciate this joke.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Is Aevium located in the Pokemon World equivalent of the Bermuda Triangle?

Kanto never had to deal with this esoteric shit aside for one tower that inexplicably needed a scope to see ghosts even though we could see ghosts anyway.
that would explain SO MUCH.
It's apparently near Galar and Kalos though.
But the Bermuda Triangle could be in a different place in the Pokemon worlds so the theory is still somewhat valid.

Derogatory Trainer said:
5JoHpTgm.jpg


Somebody please interrupt me before this gets worse.
Click to expand...
STOP TALKING. There, interrupted you.
Not much help telling me that a day later.
...
And pretty much a year later than it was actually written for the first time.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Do...do you not even remember Aelita is from there?

I guess you've never actually been to Sheridan and weren't around for the story arcs set there...

But damn.

When it's not Veronica you don't really care, huh?
This Fake Melia is quite the bitch (ONLY TRUE MELIA IS FROM XENOBLADE)
Not to ME.
...
Because I haven't played Xenoblade nor do I really care to.
I can only take two people called Melia in my entire life and the blonde one is the one I'm stuck with.

As for the anime, DON'T CARE. Never watched it after Unova- I just couldn't get into it. Though I admit the sun and moon series did and I enjoyed it. Best season, the casual atmosphere fits pokemon well.
Oh I haven't watched it since Sinnoh. I just tune in for the finals most of the time.
Ash is representing Alola in this though.

Hey, I've been following this run for almost a year (about when the West Gearen filler arc ended and you left for GDC) and decided to finally make an account to start replying. I've really enjoyed reading your run so far, although I did skip a bit through the early sections when I first found it (mostly because of it being somewhat difficult for me to look at the early versions after playing through the recent ones).
Great to have you! Always nice when you lurkers finally decide to start commenting!
Don't feel too bad about skipping I can barely get through them myself (mostly due to the poor haircut choices I made back then)
The game has come a LONG way since those days though. Characters are less annoying, areas are much better looking, the story is comprehensible for a change...
Shame I never got to see it.


Don't really have time to leave any chapter replies yet since I spent most of today catching up on chapters I've missed recently, except for...

Why must you remind me of this pain...
Don't worry I don't fall for Clear's shenanigans a single time.
...
Okay MAYBE once but it was just for a funny joke.

Derogatory Trainer said:
I don't think the bot needs to be made at all.
you misunderstand. what else am i going to do while i wait? be a productive member of society?
GOD NO.
Just laze about and be an UNproductive member of society like I do most of the time.


as i always do i loved this chapter. this time i have a question though. If these chapters are after you lost data and had to redo everything, then lore wise, does that mean that this universe sean was living a normal adventure, when suddenly halfway through he decides hes a masochist and nuzelokes?

coming to you from under the floorboards! see you next week!
Huh?
Oh no it's the same save file.
I just lost all the back-ups that would have let me start the adventure from scratch if I wanted to.
It's still the same exact journey and Pokemon since I started.
NGL, Kinda disappointed. I liked the Boss Fights personally. Although it’s probably just me being a weirdo. But oh boy, that means more plot reworks to justify Boss Fights no longer existing.
Between you and me, I'm kinda disappointed as well. I was looking forward to the challenge.
The plot reworks don't really bother me due to never experiencing the Shielded Bosses.
I'm a bit more worried about what's going to be in their place to punish us. It could be WORSE.

Derogatory Trainer said:
xmqcna6m.jpg


You're probably right there.

But for a least two decades now my preferred way to die has been "knocking a meteor away to save the earth".

2yZsKcvm.jpg


Now the opportunity is finally here to smack one, without the earth or myself being in danger of permanently dying and Aelita wants me to avoid it?

Never!
Click to expand...
huh... kinda neat... but then all your pokemon would be left without you sean XP. Can you let Rose alone ? At the hands of another trainer who may find your pokeballs ?
I said my PREFERRED way to die would be that. Not that I want to die any time soon.
We all know I have to die someday long before Rose ever will if I can help it!
And they wouldn't obey anyone who just FOUND my Pokeballs. That's not how it works.


Derogatory Trainer said:


vderwesm.jpg


But no laser eyes!

Stay on theme!
Click to expand...
*knows the story so starts sweating a bit*
She doesn't get LASER eyes.
...
No. She doesn't.
She just gets this life sensing mumbo jumbo and MAYBE summoning a Regirock but that's IT.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Q5h1VAYm.jpg


Ehh...probably.

But there's likely some abstract reasoning involving paradoxes that stop us from doing that.
Click to expand...
Yeah will be explained down the line and you all known it... But yeah Paradox = bad for those who don't know. OH but you could try to steal any pokemon from past Sean to prevent their future deaths XD
I don't think it was.
Why is it fine for us to remain in the past so long right now when there are multiple versions of us existing here but not when we actually MEET those versions?
I'm still working out how that'll work with the Nuzlocke rules.


CsnZWf5m.jpg


Okay genius, it was obviously an earthquake.

WHY the fuck was that?

The meteor hasn't even landed yet!
Click to expand...
Here is the thing. They said its a meteor shower aka... not 1 so im assuming its a bunch of other meteors landing and causing small earthquakes from their impacts... i think ?
Nah. It's not that.
It's the more serious natural disaster that's brewing.


Derogatory Trainer said:
3pu8cRAm.jpg


NOT IF I HAVE ANYTHING TO SAY ABOUT IT!

q24ax27m.jpg


TO TELL THAT METEOR TO GO BACK TO REBORN WHERE HE FUCKING BELONGS!

9yFvnZOm.jpg

Click to expand...
*And as soon it saw Sean the Meteor turned back and flew into space.*
Sadly, Meteors have Clear Body so Intimidate wouldn't work on them.
Derogatory Trainer said:
xMqNDrmm.jpg


ANOTHER SUCCESSFUL MISSION COMPLETED BY TEAM SEAN!

MY RACKET MUST HAVE SLOWED THE METEOR DOWN JUST ENOUGH FOR KATSU TO AVOID IT!

HUZZAH FOR SEAN! SAVIOUR OF ALL!

97UVprjm.jpg


And a solemn farewell to Chet the Racket.

Saviour of one woman who's probably going to be ungrateful about it.
Click to expand...
RIp Chet. It was with here ever since we had Rose
gone but not forgotten.
He was technically in every scene but he was leaning on my desk so nobody saw him until now.
RIP

Derogatory Trainer said:
We got distracted by a chance to do some do-gooding as usual.

And I punched an alien.

ZMyDG5Gm.jpg


While I'm glad you were actually paying attention to when I ranted about them, no.

An ACTUAL alien this time, I promise.

jo1SxFKm.jpg


It's just stuck in this gem form is all.
Click to expand...
Huh... Erin payed attention... is there some friendly human behind all that edge ?
Erin is the only one who really listens to what I say...
And is worried about a lot of it.

Derogatory Trainer said:
VPMmIbom.jpg


And where do all conspiracies seem to lead to in this region. boys and girls?

QHQAkoZm.jpg


The fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuucking Blakeorys.
Click to expand...
You know it. We know it. Blakeorys are the worst... and the only one who i give some slack is Saki due to later arcs... but fuck the Rest of the blakeorys
True.
I was recently informed that Erick made Sakitron now so it's HIM I have to aim my hatred towards now so the Android apocalypse doesn't happen.

Derogatory Trainer said:
I'm not actually real, Rose.

LsgG3Khm.jpg

aZi5cvcm.jpg


GOOD!

YOU'VE LEARNED YOUR LESSON!

NEVER AGAIN SHALL THIS JOKE BE MADE!
Click to expand...
Hope you learned your lesson Rose. Don't do this to any of us again.
It's not a great thing to contemplate.
ESPECIALLY after 6 years of this shit.
Much better for everyone if we keep pretending.

Derogatory Trainer said:
34zJFtdm.jpg


For now?

Fh3RCQZm.jpg


You worry too much, Zolt!

I'm sure my amazing skills as a trainer will win me his loyalty in a snap!
Click to expand...
I advise listening to Zolt. if we going by anime logic the Elegym's can mind control a bunch of people so be carefull.
I am immune to direct mind control.
My senses can be tricked but I cannot be controlled.


Derogatory Trainer said:
eE98sEDm.jpg


Do...do you not even remember Aelita is from there?

I guess you've never actually been to Sheridan and weren't around for the story arcs set there...

But damn.

When it's not Veronica you don't really care, huh?
Click to expand...
Tsk tsk. Bad friend. and Bad protagonist.
Of course this could just be Melia innocently asking how she knew who a stranger living decades in the past was and me suggesting a different reason that makes her seem like an awful person.
But I'd NEVER do that.

Derogatory Trainer said:
zqwAqNUm.jpg


Mmmnggh...would have REALLY liked more prep time before this encounter...

Preferably with pair of Red Chains handy...
Click to expand...
and possibly 3 lake guardians to have those red chains actually work ? Because you do need them or some "part of them" (the things from legend arceus) to make the red chains work. And that would only weaken them not stop them.
Legends Arceus does not exist in this universe nor will I ever accept it's existence.
I just need the chains like Cyrus did.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Uh...

Guys?

2ck21Ezm.jpg


I didn't want to mention it earlier because I was specifically aiming to run out the clock...

ZyHrzizm.jpg


But you know solar eclipses only last 7 minutes right?

fYPU3edm.jpg

24sdPKvm.jpg

BQsKLEnm.jpg

Click to expand...
AHAHAHAHAH
Guess not Timea or Spacea in this adventure WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
They actually explain away this joke in-game.
Was mildly impressed that they did and didn't have it as some sort of super long eclipse.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I didn't even know you could do that kind of stuff in the Spoiler bar...
Neither did I!
Also I'm quickly running out of fun ways to write "replies" so this is probably going to end pretty soon here.
Thank god.
Now you'll finally go back to being normal Pika and not "eats Pocky, hangs dreamcatcher in bedroom and says XD in real life" Pika.

Derogatory Trainer said:
I couldn't get through one full campaign of that game. Gave up halfway through Hoshido.
But sometimes...I still hear those words playing in my head...over and over again...
"YOU ARE THE OCEAN'S GRAY WAVES, DESTINED TO SEEK LIFE BEYOND THE SHORE JUST OUT OF REACH"
I'll never be free of those damned two lines of song...never...
I played through all three "routes."
My personal favorite was Conquest since it has the best maps and I like the Nohr siblings better, then Revelation because you get almost all the units there (and can make some really hilarious couples), and Birthright is my least favorite - I think it was too easy and I thought it was weird that it was played up that these are your "real" siblings when they're actually not.

I actually really liked that song before I played the game, then it got seared into my psyche and I don't think I can ever listen to it ever again now.
I think I just don't like Corrin as a main character either.
I'd rather create my own rando than play as a dumbass manateke with no shoes.

Yeah, it's probably fine on it's own but if you hear Azura singing the same three lines over and over it'll REALLY start to annoy you.
Shadows of Valentia's ending theme was great though. Really liked that song.


Derogatory Trainer said:
He's beloved by TOO many. The grand Pokemon Journeys final has two of the fuckers in it as the trainer's main Pokemon.
It's a disgrace.
YOU LEAVE MY BOY ALONE!
I actually do agree though, the Charmander line is my favorite starter line but due to Charizard's popularity its basically become the dark shadow looming over the series.
I think giving Charizard to Leon as his ace is really what dug its' grave though; that position really should have gone to one of the new Galar 'mons.
I started with Squirtle back in the nineties so that's my favourite starter by default (even if I like Bulbasaur and Ivysaur the most)
I think we're all just fucking sick of Kanto now.
Either improve their base stats to make them worth it or fuck off, Game Freak.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Maybe we should stop this train before it derails.
Let's form a new Team based on Rayquaza.
BECAUSE DAMMIT THE WORLD NEEDS MORE SKY!
HELL YEAH - TEAM SKY BABY!
Rayquaza used to be my favorite legendary before Dialga existed!
WE'RE GONNA DESTROY THE EARTH AND THE SEA SO THERE'S MORE SKY TO GO AROUND!
I think mine was Entei because of the movie?
Now I don't really care about legendaries. Because I'm so cool and unique like that.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Honestly? I'd leave Platinum as it is. It's a good starting point for Pika's character before it gets a lot more development in Unova.
What you could do if you wanted is add some portraits in for your dialogue?
Maybe sparse a few Pokemon like Beau or Stella talking too?
In the Pokemon language obviously, since you didn't get the ability to talk until Reshiram started his meddling.
I'm thinking more along the lines of cleaning up the screenshots. I used WAY TOO MANY of them, and not cutting off the bottom screen really makes reading through the run a lot more difficult.
I feel like the commentary is still fine; at the most I would probably just clean up the writing a bit and maybe add a scene to the end of each chapter with the team interacting with each other - not including Pika of course since she can't understand them yet.
Ahhhh that makes more sense. Dress it up better technically rather than rehaul the entire story.
Yeah that'd be pretty good. A little Pokemon Corner where they can talk about you behind you back discuss the chapter's events and whatnot.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Especially since I ran into a male Meowth again in the first patch of grass.
HISTORY REPEATS ITSELF.
...
To an extent. I'm not letting him kill anymore early captures like he did in the OG timeline.
... Well now you have to do it, that's practically destiny.
You better not let him this time around!!!
The new run is going well so far.
Some things ARE different however. The starving Espurr was a boy this time around so I renamed Selina into "Kyle" and there are a lot of new party members now.
I MIGHT have gone overboard with the event Pokemon.
I've got two filled boxes and I've just beaten Serra.
Whoops?



Derogatory Trainer said:
I thought Back to Basics was your Origin Story? Sinnoh is where yer mum lives after all.
Yeah maybe a different region then? Or a Rom Hack version? I hear good things about GS Chronicles as a Gen 2 game.
There's always Hoenn too.
I mean, it is on a technical basis - but I feel like it's more of a "season 1" situation rather than an origin story; kind of like an extended pilot episode.
If I do an actual origin story it would dig more into Pika's past, likely as a child, and answer some questions; like why is she so mentally unstable, how is she such a competent trainer, and why does she have so many mothers?

I'm still deciding between Kanto and Hoenn actually; I'll figure it out more once I actually get around to doing it.
... If I get around to doing it.
I've got it.
Pika is a refugee from the Ransei region of Pokemon Conquest
The constant warring and state-enforced Nobunaga fangirling that made her strong also took her mother from her at a young age giving her a bad case of PTSD.
So she copes by kidnapping early-to-late thirties women to act as her mother and preparing the Sinnoh region for when the Ranseians stop their infighting and start looking outwards towards their nearest neighbour, Sinnoh.
...
It's an idea at least?

I feel you on that "if I get around to doing it" bit.
This Nuzlocking biz used to be a LOT simpler back in the day.



Derogatory Trainer said:
I do plan on a few bonus movie chapters eventually.
Gonna be a LOT of shots taken at Hollywood and movies in general in them.
Oh, that sounds fun!
Something to look forward to then.
Be prepared for a lot of "Derogatory Trainer and the Chalice of Flames" and "Derogatory Trainer and the Two-Thirds Blood Princess" as well.
Gotta steal as many ideas from this side of the screen as I can.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Well you plan on going back to Unova eventually, right? You can always wait until then.
Haha you could even have that be your whole reason for going back! They wanted you, the famous trainer to star in a movie for them only for you to inevitably get wrapped up in Plasma's shenanigans once again! You'd have to move some images around but I think you could do it.
Oh, that's actually a good idea; I might steal it.
She would absolutely take the opportunity to feature in a movie about her achievements, and then furiously chase after the resurrected Team Meteor for ruining everything.
Go right ahead. I figure you'd rather stay as far away from Unova as you can but an enticing movie role is just the right thing to draw you back.
Haha, sounds like you've got Reborn on the brain there. Hopefully it doesn't turn into a Team Galactic/Plasma/Meteor team up to take you down.


Derogatory Trainer said:
God...looking at the list there really is. The fuck is a "madio" anyway?
Based on a very quick Google search.
lr7kXRM.png

Which fits... I guess. Considering how many there are.
...
I think I hate it even more now that it's based on a Japanese word.
Fucking weaboos.
I bet they name their Glaceons "Yuki" too.

Derogatory Trainer said:
I love this meme.
I did another one aaaages that even Jan liked.
But we won't see that for a few more chapters yet.
Oh? Approval from Jan?
Well now I'm excited to see what meme it was that he enjoyed so thoroughly.
It was only brought to my attention that he liked it when someone sent me a screenshot of his tumblr account.
e0tf7rd.jpg
Hopefully that's as far as he digs and I'm not facing a defamation lawsuit.
I mean every word I've said about him is no doubt true but he's got fan-game maker money to burn while all I have is Nuzlocker money to burn.
AND YOU CAN'T BURN NOTHING.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I ended up deciding on just writing whatever Jan had those characters say underneath the images and pass it off as my own work.
...
With a few...tweaks, shall we say?
You know, this works really well!
Pretty good solution.
Pretty good AND pretty lazy!
I don't have to take ANY reaction pictures at all for these chapters!
Here's a sneak peek for what I've got so far on one of the Melia chapters.
(The words in italics will be put into the game's screenshots later on)

grlHzH5m.jpg


I agree! It's always nice to find someone who thinks similarly!

YOUNGSTER: Heh-heh! You're a lot nicer than that guy you came in with!

They only just finished cleaning up after he kicked that snobby looking guy through a bookcase!


He's a good person, really!

He's just...uh...hot-blooded at the wrong times?

WNCBO71m.jpg


YOUNGSTER: Hey, no need to defend him!

I thought it was pretty cool up until he back-handed the 75 year old head librarian who tried to advocate for peace!


Ooohhhh...

n9Bwifdm.jpg


I'm going to need to send her a fruit basket, aren't I?




2vXMlBym.jpg


Huh.

Strange to see a library with heavy iron gates blocking off a section...

I guess this is where the really delicate books are kept?

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Really? Between Rhodea and the mayor?

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Wait, a monthly subscription to use a library?

New books hardly come out often enough to justify that!

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Good job, Rhodea.

Learning should be free for everyone.

We should do something nice for her when all this is over with.

I'm thinking...

Fruit baskets.

Fruit baskets EVERYWHERE.
So yeah.
It's mostly that for now.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Hold on...these things raise friendship levels!?
I genuinely never knew that...this series is STILL surprising me even to this day!
They do! Not by a lot, but every little bit helps.
You can buy friendship for the low low price of $9800!
...
I think I'll stick to the haircuts once a day for now.
I pretty much sell those drugs anyway. Reborn is pretty miserly on giving you out cash.


Another fun Pokemon fact that I don't think many people know; much like Earthquake will hit a Pokemon using Dig - Gust will hit a Pokemon using Fly!
Stay tuned for more obscure Pokemon facts with Pika!
Okay I knew THAT much.
I know a decent amount about battle mechanics at the very least.
But sadly...not all the mechanics.
Did you know there's a Counter/Mirror Coat like move called Metal Burst that doesn't care whether the attack was Physical or Special?
BECAUSE I SURE DIDN'T.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Speaking of lag, how about that lagless V19 in Reborn?
It feels so weird walking through Obsidia ward and NOT wanting to throw up.
Wonder if the moving sprites would be possible on the new engine they're using?
Oh, I could kiss the development team - lagless Reborn is truly a gift meant to be shared.
What I'm excited to see is if they managed to fix the lag over by the one Crustle/ledge jumping puzzle; that area always frustrated me with how slow it was thanks to all the lag.
The only place I've noticed it happen again is when you speed up in Rhodochrine Jungle or Unspellable Wasteland but that's all.
I'm curious to see that to. I remember distinctly having to stop the game because it was making me sick at that part.


Derogatory Trainer said:
SHE'S STILL ONLY 11!
I'VE STILL GOT SOME TIME BEFORE THE TEENAGE REBELLION CAN HAPPEN!
I mean, my sister and I both started getting our annoying teenage hormones around the age of 13 - so not much longer now!
IT COULD BE DIFFERENT FOR DRAGONS!
YEAH!
SHE'LL LIVE TO LIKE A THOUSAND SO REALLY SHE SHOULD ONLY BECOME A TEENAGER AT 130 WHEN I'M LONG DEAD!
HUZZAH FOR ETERNAL CHILDHOOD!


Derogatory Trainer said:
Have you ever tasted the real one before?
I know it's an American treat so I'm curious what it tastes like.
... Blue Moon Ice Cream is a real thing?
*does a quick Google search*
Okay, so, the closest place that serves that flavor near me is in LA - I'm not going to that god forsaken city for a damn ice cream cone. Meaning the flavor will remain a mystery for us.
... For now.
Let me know if you ever do and if you suddenly become best friends forever with the guy selling it.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Ha. Yeah that's an unusual one.
The juxtaposition of a metal warrior built by science becoming a devout believer in one of this world's primitive gods is pretty funny.
I like to imagine that in his sci-fi world religion isn't really a big thing anymore, so when he travels to the fantasy world and sees all these religions worshiping a bunch of different gods he just goes around and starts sampling them all.
A religion tourist if you will.
Or, as a religious unwashed mob would say, "BURN HIM! HE'S TRYING TO PICK AND CHOOSE FROM OUT BELIEFS TO MAKE HIS OWN! THAT'S NOT HOW IT WORKS!" (when in fact it's how a lot of them work)
I'm going to talk about lighting again for two seconds.

CaZ6J7fm.jpg


Does my face look better lit in this picture?

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I'm trying a bluer light than my last attempt at lighting so let me know if it's any better.

Because I can't fucking tell.
Click to expand...
Hm, I think it looks better.
It really brightens up your face, but it does make the background seem darker. Overall I think it looks good though.
Then it shall remain like this until I once again become dissatisfied.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Her arm is raised to her face so I guess so.

But damn.

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Why does this girl get so many unique poses while the rest of us are stuck with boring old "stare vacantly into the middle-distance"?

Does she have blackmail material on Jan?

I demand she shares.
Click to expand...
Now that you mention it she does have a lot more body movements than most other characters.
Either Jan owes someone a favor, or someone is playing favorites.
Nastasia has these movements too...I say they're in on it together!
They have incriminating photos of Jan copy-pasting stuff from other RPGS into this game and are blackmailing him into getting extra animations!


Derogatory Trainer said:
NCPpAtym.jpg


This can only be bad news for us.

Nothing good in any form of media comes from one of those.
Click to expand...
Oh yeah, eclipses very rarely signal anything good.
I'm expecting some sort of apocalyptic even to happen sometime soon - calling it now!
Wow.
What prophetic vision you have there.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Anyway, to me it's like...

Lunar eclipses symbolise a mad and bloody evil while solar eclipses have a dark and ominous one?
I completely agree.
Like for example, in Breath of the Wild whenever that blood moon even happens that brings all the monsters back to life it feels super eerie and menacing, then compare that to Okami's solar eclipse that just feels threatening and ominous.
Two completely different vibes.
Yeah, yeah. Like one has NPCS tearing each other to pieces and the other has them cowering in fear.
Fucking moons, man.
I'm glad I never trusted them to begin with.


I would absolutely love to see Chiller fight the sun.
My money's on Chiller!
Chiller already slapped the sun around once, remember?
He's the safe bet in this fight.


Derogatory Trainer said:
e2naHqFm.jpg


Objectmon biology is an incredibly confusing science.

And I ain't no scientist.

Just incredibly confused at all times.
Click to expand...
I personally separate all the object 'mons into two categories; "advanced AI" and "really weird natural adaptations."
Like, I think Voltorb and Electrode are supposed to be mimics? So that would just be natural (albeit weird) adaptation; they evolved over time to look like Poke Balls to better trick and eat humans, while Pokemon like Porygon are just AI that gained sentience - so machines basically.
Makes sense to me.
Although now that you mentioned mimics...maybe Voltorbs and Electrode's true form is INSIDE the Pokeball shell?
After all...Pokeballs open...Mimic chests open...what evil lurks within, I wonder?

Also I actually looked up Vanilluxe biology out of curiousity and it's completely disappointing.

D0IJclDUwAAmHAn.jpg:large

It's just a stupid looking icicle.
It's not an Ice-Cream cone at all!
...
Chiller is though.
Since I already made the objectmon joke by having him be depicted as a irl cone, I'm taking it a step further and making him an actual ice-cream possessed by the spirit of...let's just call it a Vanilluxe and think no more on the subject.


Derogatory Trainer said:
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What?

That's not MY region, you idiot.

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That is a map of Skyrim that came with the game back in 2011.

...

Holy shit, that's been on my bedroom wall for since I was 17.

What fucking brand of White-tack did I use and where can I get more!?
Click to expand...
This reminds me of that Yu-Gi-Oh poster I had up in my living room since I was like 6 or 7 (before we moved that is).
I don't know what kind of tape we used to hang that thing up, but I wish they still made tape that strong.
The sad truth of life is that we're slowly becoming our grandparents when they said "Back in my day, things were built to last!"
But honestly, it's just because we never remember the stuff that didn't last. Like there used to be more posters but one by one they all fell and were binned as Skyrim watched on.


Derogatory Trainer said:
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You're probably right there.

But for a least two decades now my preferred way to die has been "knocking a meteor away to save the earth".

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Now the opportunity is finally here to smack one, without the earth or myself being in danger of permanently dying and Aelita wants me to avoid it?

Never!
Click to expand...
Everyone deserves to live out their own death fantasy.
GO, DON'T LET THIS OPPORTUNITY PASS YOU BY!
...
I wonder if this would count as cyber-bullying?
"GO! KILL YOURSELF FOR GLORRRRYYYY!!!"


Derogatory Trainer said:
Don't think I've forgotten what you did to that Starly on Terajuma.

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*Sigh*

Nova? Go ahead and use Close Combat.

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Nah.

Let them wear themselves out. Not like there'll be any difficult battles in this backwater of a time period.
Click to expand...
If we're following game logic, Nova would totally win here.
I'm pretty sure she's faster than Zira, and Close Combat is super effective.
Pretty much, yeah.
Zira acts like a badass lioness but she's actually just a really big and badly tamed house cat.
Pretty much everyone in the team except for maybe Zolt and defintiely Caesar could take her.
A maybe for Zolt because he could one-shot her with a crit while Zira is forced to take at least two turns to do the same thanks to Sturdy.
Caesar is both slower and has ass for Special Defence so he'd lose.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Speaking of...

Your house is the nearest building to this Route and you're only down here NOW?

I literally saw you run after her weeks agooooooh right...

Time travel.

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So does that mean Past-Me is doing a math puzzle so he can open Vitus' desk right now?

Wild...
Click to expand...
... Would that mean it's technically possible for you to run into your past self?
You can warn him of what's to come! Or it would cause some sort of paradox; one of the two.
Oh, it's POSSIBLE.
Sadly, that's not how it works. I take my Past-Self's place in the timeline to remove the chances of any paradoxes.


Derogatory Trainer said:
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RAYQUAZA AIN'T GOT NOTHING ON MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE-

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GAAAAHHH! GODDAMN PIECE OF SHIT RACKET!!!!
Click to expand...
... Well you gave it your all.
I can't help but feel if I used a stronger piece of sporting equipment the meteor would have been destroyed.
Maybe I'll try a cricket bat next time...


Derogatory Trainer said:
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And a solemn farewell to Chet the Racket.

Saviour of one woman who's probably going to be ungrateful about it.
Click to expand...
Rest in peace Chet; you were a beloved member of the Sean Squad 😔
He's earned his place in the Hall of Champions I'm going to build honouring my fallen Pokemon.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Oh well, might as well give it a bash.

Perhaps I'll finally get a decent battle in this podunk time period?

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Oh.
Click to expand...
So wait, was that meteor actually and egg or something? And didn't Arceus also hatch from a meteor?
Does that make Deoxys and Arceus distant cousins?
I wouldn't try to think about it.
That way lies madness.
For example, they say Mew possesses the genes of all Pokemon yet how the fuck does it have the genes of a space virus Pokemon? Or Porygons?
Pokemon lore is nothing but rank madness.


Derogatory Trainer said:
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Go back!?

Wait, "WE CAN ALL"?!

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...

Excuse me?!

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Is she implying nobody in Aevium is actually from Aevium?

They all just emigrated here after "something" happened to this Miera region?
Click to expand...
Ah, so it's an allegory for colonialism! Aevium is just Poke-America!
Of course, it all makes sense now.
You USA-centric Americans...everything's always got to be about you and your Thanksgiving...
CLEARLY it's an allegory for when the Vikings invaded and set-up shop in Ireland.
It's even located close to Galar and Kalos!


Derogatory Trainer said:
pokemon.jpg


Who's your money on for winning the World Tournament?
I'm Team Iris obviously.
Click to expand...
I don't even watch the anime anymore, but I'm rooting for either Cynthia or Steven!
(Because they're the only Champions to have ever made me truly suffer.)
But we all know it's going to Leon; I mean come on - he's Game Freak's golden child.
I tune in for the finals but that's about it.
Cynthia and Iris are going to be fighting each other in the first round and IT'S GONNA BE MY GIRL, IRIS!
Steven is fucked though. He's against Ash first round.
RIP.
Leon has to lose to grow remember? The events of Sword and Shield didn't happen so Ash is going to be the one to show him that.
...
Probably.

I know, right? I wish I could trade for more interesting members...
Like it'll be a commercially successful anime/JRPG but it won't be one of the ones people talk about for years later.
Solar and lunar eclipse...huh. That's something new I learned from reading this. I really am learning new stuff from reading this run.
I wonder if that would qualify me for a teaching grant...

Obviously Jan doesn't know how astrology(I think it's called) and geology works. The meteorite isn't even that big. That racket is just lousy!
Astronomy is the legit study of outer space. Astrology is the generic horoscope stuff they have in women's magazines.
DON'T SPEAK ILL OF THE DEAD, HAKIM! CHET DIED A HERO! THIS WAS JUST ONE BALL TOO BIG FOR HIM!


He also doesn't know how not to make characters that doesn't frustrate people, but that's a whooole 'nother issue.
Characters that frustrate people are a good thing in my mind. Like sure the emotion I'm feeling toward them isn't positive but at least it's an emotion.
Better than feeling absolutely nothing towards the characters.


Vivian: We should care for all life, no matter where they came from. Now kill this thing person who I literally just made.
Spoken like a true hippie. Or like mega corps who ride on the coattails of the green earth campaign just to get some brownie points while still contributing most of the world's pollution. Blergh.
Yeah, I don't get why we just don't catch it and teach it a better way. But this is one of many she's killed so they all might have been hostile and she figures it's best to end them while they're weak.
And as the SS.Oceana attack proved, I REALLY should have stomped on Deoxys' gem to finish the job.
Well nobody with at least half a brain believes mega-corporations are a good thing.


Sean: I'm also fairly sure, (judging how hair colour works in this game), that you're her grandmother. Or great grand-mother.
Hmm...
Well it's what I THOUGHT at the time.
How the fuck was I supposed to know what REALLY went on?

Ah yes. The Miera Region. Another mystery to add to that book of questiosn of yours. What happened to that book anyway? Haven't seen it for a while.
"Book", he says.
Get with the times, Hakimblue. It's all digital now. I uploaded it to the cloud.
...
It fell straight through and crushed a small child.


Zolt: Beheeyem posseses mind-control abilities...
Hmmmmm......
Not for me.
I'm immune because I'm an elite gamer.


So Jan is gonna revamp the early game? Again?
Dunno.
I'm starting to think I should just travel to the future and play the complete edition of Pokemon Rejuvenation. Because everytime a new version drops, I keep replaying it because I want to experience the brand new early game. Unfortunately I don't have a hotline to Tempia...
How the fuck do you think I feel? I CAN'T restart.
I'm stuck on V10 over here.




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I can't believe you screamed "Fudge" instead of "Fuck" back there, Melia.

What? Were you afraid your sponsors would going to cut your funding if you did?

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And why are they so strict on swearing?

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It could have something to do with it taking a lot more than 7 minutes to run here.

And that's not including how long it took to abort that Deoxys baby and discuss parenting techniques last chapter.

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Which is a weird condition to have.

Are they trapped in the moon? Do they convert themselves into light waves and ride the sunlight down to Earth?

...

Why am I even bothering to think about this?

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"Yes. Let's all take a minute to consider the scientific theory behind magic goddess gijinkas and figure this out."

Sounds like a very productive use of my finite time on this earth.

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Hell just by reading that nonsense, I've stolen part of your lives that you'll never get back, readers.

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And that thought fuels me during those long sabbaticals I seem to take more and more of as I age.

...

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Been doing pretty well lately though.

Guess I'm just determined to END this Part, fake my death and disappear already.

...

*Ahem*

We should get back to the scene.

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indJBijm.jpg


...

Then why did we RUN here!?

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You know who else I was sure was going to be here?

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Erin.

Where the fuck did she go?

Katsu's house is on the way here!

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Oh?

Are we all suddenly realising she's not here?

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...

And so the Terajuma-transporting fog appears yet again...

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Coming from literally any other god, like say, the goddess of Fire? That'd be an acceptable reason.

But from the two goddesses who control the two cosmic powers that make being late impossible?

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Fuck youuuu.

That's just purposefully being a dick.

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We all know it's just so you prima-donnas can be dramatic.

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Side Note: The Aevium Goddess of Fire is probably called Fireea.

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And yes.

It's pronounced like diarrhoea.

This is canon now.

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This coming from the goddess who rules over time?!

What the FUCK is even the point of you then?

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I was really hoping they weren't.

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Sure, they're extremely beautiful in a disgustingly divine sort of way...

And their hair DOES appear to be as silky as they bragged to Melia...

...

I lost my train of thought.

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Uh-oh.

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FCIX1Kvm.jpg

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Hello!

I know what you did to your older sister!

And I'm sure if either of you could hear me say that, you'd actually speak to me directly during this meeting.

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But alas.

You are bitches and I am a (mostly) mute protagonist.

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Oh boy, this is already off to a terribly aggravating start.

Everyone just seems to looooove bringing that shit up.

I really hope nobody else get captured and taken there.

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Because the only way I want to go back is on top of a falling nuclear bomb.

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I don't like the insinuation that the mission was a success all thanks to Melia either.

I'll never like that insinuation.

She's just impossibly lucky even by my RNG standards.

She fucking shot Madame X in the back with a turret that she shouldn't have been able to access remotely or fire at all, since I specifically cut the power lines to them so we could escape.

All of that after spending the previous two or three days as Neved's personal assistant, where she was just allowed to wear her hood all the time and never reveal her face.

oHmyRG9m.jpg


HOW MANY TIMES TO I HAVE TO REPEAT THIS BEFORE SOMEONE LISTENS!?!?

AND I DON'T FUCKING CARE IF IT "GOT CHANGED IN V13"! IT DIDN'T GET CHANGED FOR ME, DAMMIT!

Fll8KYSm.jpg


Yeah.

Like Terajuma.

...

Didn't one of these bitches teleport us to Terajuma?

Shouldn't they know about all the intermittent stuff?

fAcXOFym.jpg


LOTTERY NUMBERS!

GIVE'EM!

I HATE WORKING FOR A LIVING!

CzjDaYVm.jpg


THE PRESSURES OF SOCIETY!

I WANT TO RETIRE AT 28 AND SLEEP DURING THE DAY AND THE NIGHT!

I WANT TO LIVE IN A HOUSE THAT HAS AIR CONDITIONING EVEN THOUGH MY COUNTRY IS ALMOST ALWAYS COLD AND RAINY ASIDE FROM DURING THE SUMMER!

I WANT A THUNDERSTORM EVERY TIME I GO TO BED BECAUSE I CRAVE THAT SOOTHING FEELING OF BEING SAFE IN MY BIG BLANKY!

wrkwwMWm.jpg


*inhales deeply so he can ironically summon more energy for his rant of pure laziness*

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Oi, where are you going?

We need to put forward a united front here!

Don't kneel to them, you...*cough* you kneeler!

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Fucking hell I think I inhale so hard I cracked a rib...

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Huh.

I thought we came here so Melia could report in...

But she has a question for them?

It must be incredibly important, like "what's the meaning of life and when will it stop kicking Sean in the face?"

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Oh for fucks' sake.

Are you still on about that?

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Move on already!

Veronica would want you to, probably!

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...

Oh.

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Fucking hell this whole GDC arc is so goddamn condensed and confusing it's like a Bangladeshi conga-line.

rmxq3vQm.jpg


How is what going to work? The conga line?

Being as overcrowded as that place is, I assume they just have to put there arms in front of wherever their standing and they'll find someone.

vNLFYJpm.jpg


...

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Don't worry about it?

xWmRftTm.jpg


IT'S DIFFERENT! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT!

I'M NOT WILFULLY KEEPING THE INFORMATION FROM YOU!

I JUST DON'T HAVE IT!

skgUnrcm.jpg


We'll just do some shit like take a three day break when we get back so we don't mess anything up, okay?

HwgX9j1m.jpg


Thanks for not considering doing the same for Nancy, any of my Pokemon, "Nim" or your own father.

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Nooooo...you go right ahead and ask the Goddesses of Time and Space to save your little lesbian friend from something I know is 100% curable since Nim is running around, instead of plucking those who died from just before their deaths.

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I'll just sit right here in the pool of blood that both I and my Pokemon have spilled from defending you.

Wouldn't want to interrupt this super important meeting after all.

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Don't care.

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PPPHHHHBBBBTTHHHH!

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Well isn't that just dandy?

Guess there's no point in us doing anything ever again.

The Goddesses will just sort it out.

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Hell yeah it is.

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Just like it's been an outstanding pleasure training you, Rose.

But go ahead and roll the credits. Pokemon Rejuvenation is over.

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Timpea and Spacea are going to solve all our problems with their god powers so there's no more need to fight.

Goodbye everybody!

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4NRuD4ym.jpg

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*GGGGGGGGGGAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP*

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Ohmygoodnessi'msoshockedbythisturnofeventsthati'vestartedtalkinglikeKunai!

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Wow, I think Melia actually IS shocked.

She's far too trusting.

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Well aside from it being a literal deus ex machina and would skip whatever flaming hoops Jan takes sadistic pleasure in making us jump through?

It would also pretty much destroy any tension left in this game.

Just imagine it.

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"*GASP!* Madame X is killing those kittens with her katan-"

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"Oh no it's okay, Timpea and Spacea sent her back to the bombing of Hiroshima where a weeb like her belongs."

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"Oh no, Angie and her suspiciously loyal servant Cera are freezing the town's water suppl-"

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"Oop, they've been de-aged into babies and now, in a wacky turn of events, the main characters have to raise them!"

"Welcome to Rejuvenation Babies!"

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"OH DEAR GOD! Geara is standing around, minding his own business!"

"Nevermind. They sent him 7.5 billion years into the future right before the sun exploded as he deserves."

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This game ALREADY makes the player pretty much obsolete with how Pokemon battles barely matter.

If it started doing shit like that, it'd be the final nail in the coffin.

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They got 99 problems but your bitch ain't one, Melia.

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And by that you mean manipulate mortals into doing all the grunt work, yeah?

Fucking gods.

Especially the Greek ones.

What is up with them never doing anything themselves and always foisting it off on some demigod?

All they seem to do is be dicks and fuck everything not nailed down.

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"Said every god in every myth immediately before and immediately after interfering with the lives of mortals"

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A wise man once said that "The biggest hypocrites are the gods themselves".

...

AND THAT WISE MAN WAS ME!

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BALTHAZAR THE MAGNIFICENT!

THAT'S RIGHT!

MY FULL BIRTH NAME IS "DEROGATORY BALTHAZAR THE MAGNIFICENT TRAINER"!

FUCK THE GODS. I AND MANKIND WILL BE FREE!

SPECIFICALLY FREE TO KILL OUR PARENTS FOR WHAT SHOULD BE CONSIDERED CHILD ABUSE!


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And literally everyone else standing in this fucking town right now.

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DID YOU, OR DID YOU NOT SEND ME TO THIS ISLAND OF INSOLENT IDIOTS!?

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THE TRUTH HAS REVEALED ITSELF!

(which worries me that they're still powerful enough to move a boat across the sea even without an eclipse)

BUT NOW I KNOW WHO EXACTLY TO BLAME FOR STARTING MY MISERABLE TIME ON THAT HELLISH ISLAND!

STARTING IS UNDERLINED BECAUSE REALLY, THE TERAJUMA ARC WAS A GROUP EFFORT DESIGNED TO FUCK WITH ME!

ULf9hBkm.jpg


BUT ENJOY YOUR GODHOOD WHILE IT LASTS!

WHEN I ASCEND, YOU SHALL BE CHAINED BEFORE MY THRONE OF SKULLS AS A MESSAGE TO MY ENEMIES!


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BLOOD WILL RAIN DOWN UPON THE NON-BELIEVERS! ALL HAIL THE DEROGATORY TRAINE-NO!

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THE DEROGATORY GOD!

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RED CHAINMAIL BIKI-

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*Ahem*

I may have gotten carried away there.

Let's just get back to the conversation.

That rant all happened in a split-second within my mind so you guys haven't missed anything.

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Because they wanted to you to owe them so they could manipulate you.

We've went over this almost 60 fucking chapters ago.

Well, I and the viewers did.

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Haha so somebody told you to directly fuck with Melia's liiiiiiiffffffeeee....

...

Okay wait, WHO exactly has the power to tell you two what to do?

Oh fuck me...there's a higher tier of god above them isn't there!?!

OH FUCK ME ARE WE GOING TO MEET AN ARCESQUE WOMAN NEXT!?!?

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Thank you, my Pokemon who isn't being forced to say this because I enjoy patting myself on the back!

I appreciate those empty words!

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Heh.

Function.

When it does anything but.

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They seem to want give that impression anyway.

Since they are LITERALLY sitting on thrones.

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Is there a secret door behind that wall in the middle that leads to an even BIGGER throne?

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OH.

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YOU MEAN LIKE IN ALL THOSE CRIMINAL GANGS THAT PLAGUE THE WORLD AND PRETTY MUCH NOWHERE ELSE?

FUNNY THAT YOU'D USE THAT AS AN EXAMPLE.

IT'S ALMOST LIKE YOU GUYS ARE SINISTER OR SOMETHING!

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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!


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Oh fuck me, they said it in orange.

EVERYONE PAY ATTENTION! THEY SAID IT IN ORANGE!

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HER Majesty though.

Aside from yet another woman with magical powers. (Seriously, can only girls learn magic in this?) Who could that be?

Easy guess would be Arceus. Or Arcea? (Pronunced ARSE-IA)

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But didn't Angie and Indriad constantly call Arceus their "Lord"?

Hmmm...

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The final piece of Sean's admittedly weird goddess-dominating fantasy?

That nobody wants to hear about and the one he keeps mentioning unprompted?

...

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I blame the oxygen in this chamber.

It's giving me sexual powers.

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They mean in-game time, viewers.

I'm Future Sean and I have no fucking clue who it is.

My best guess aside is Jan in a dress.

...

Her Majanesty.


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Heh.

Nice one, Aelita.

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YEAH YOU HEARD HER, BITCH!

YOU'RE A FUCKING WASTE!

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I ASSUME YOU'RE THE TIME ONE, YEAH!?

I DON'T ACTUALLY REMEMBER WHICH ONE OF YOU IS WHICH!

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Cats...or Dogs?

If you answered "Cats", you are wrong.

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EXACTLY!

Always go for the hidden option, viewers!

FUCK the game developers who think they can control you!

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Depends.

And that's literally the best answer anyone can give to that question.

Circumstances are very important when dealing with moral dilemmas like this.

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Come on, slowpoke.

You've never seen that trolley problem meme?

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Whew.

Tough choice, huh?

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Well obviously the latter one.

If the world isn't saved, won't she die anyway?

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Hey!

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You only mentioned "the world being saved" earlier.

I thought that implied that if Veronica didn't die the planet would explode not just a few million people die.

The answer's WAY easier now.

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The millions of people, of course.

One million people is like 0.0001% of the population.

It's virtually nothing if you take it from those vastly over-populated countries like China or India.

They either wouldn't even notice the difference or thank you for it.

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Personally, I think we could do without a good two billion off our current world population until we can stabilize this shit better.

There were only five billion around when I was born and two billion when my grandmother was born, you know.

That's a means the population increased by three billion for 60 years and then another three billion more in less than 30.

Will it be another three in 15 years?

It's genuinely getting out of hand.

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Oh sure, some bleeding heart will say that "They are people with hopes and dreams just like yoooou, Sean!".

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But why would anyone other than someone looking to profit somehow ever choose millions of strangers over the people they care about?

It's not like anyone would even blame you.

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Oh, on the surface, sure they would.

"Can't let society know I don't agree with it in it's entirety" and all that dreck.

Deep down though? They'd be glad it wasn't them who made the decision because they would have done the EXACT same thing.

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Hell, if we're talking about just THIS Pokemon universe I'd even do it for Veronica because I at least know her.

Go ahead and nuke Galar for all I care.

I don't know anybody there and nobody would really miss that commercialised heap of shit.

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Their champion literally wears his sponsors on his cape like he's fucking Lightning McQueen.

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And you need SPONSORS to have a shot at becoming a Champion there!

Instead of it being free for anyone with big enough balls!

Corporations have Galar by the throat so who needs it really?

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There should be more information to go with this question.

What are the parameters for this?

Am I going to be in the blast radius?

Can I do it based on whether or not they say and do stupid shit?

Like anyone who uses the term "Latinx" , actually likes Harley Quinn or intentionally litters gets blasted by lightning?

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And do I get to choose where or who the millions that die are?

That one is the most important I feel.

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Because a million people is almost 25% of my county's population and 0.0007% of India's, 0.0004% of China's and 0.0008% of Africa's.

So there's a big difference mathematically, as well as Ireland being the place where nearly everyone I know lives.

So fuck the other countries.

They probably wouldn't even notice and I certainly won't care.

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Besides, none of my darling readers live in those countries according to that accidentally invasive survey they all did when naming that shiny Togepi.

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So the people of those countries all DESERVE what's hypothetically coming to them for not reading this MASTERPIECE of a Nuzlocke that-

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only OCCASIONALLY-

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-condemns them to death!

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There are around 147 million people over the age of 80 too.

Maybe they could stop clinging to life and take one for the team?

...

Team Sean, specifically?

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Melia, you fucking pussy.

Man up and answer the question with no morally right answer.

The answer I gave was just my opinion.

It's not like it matters much.

Nobody's going to think "Sean doesn't want Zimbabwe to live so therefore I must blow up Zimbabwe!" in real life.

If I had that kind of charisma I certainly wouldn't be wasting it on Pokemon Nuzlockes.

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As it usually is.

Can't wait until I have to win some knockabout battle so she can answer that question on my behalf.

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Yes.

I can.

Loved ones.

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It's not even a contest and I don't even have many people I'd consider loved ones at all.

How does the saying go?

"A single death is a tragedy but a million is a statistic"?

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Like it's probably a bad and edgy thing to say but I think I could do it and live with it easily enough.

Real life ain't like the animes where I'd have PTSD dreams of me standing in an ocean of blood that I've spilled and having thousands of 14-year old fangirls call me "tragic" and write fanfiction about how they can "fix me".

It's literally too many people to actually register with me.

...

...

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And really that's just the excuse I'm using so the audience doesn't worry TOO much about me.

I just don't think I'd care at all.

If I could pick and choose who'd die I would actually be thrilled!

There's a lot of filth that needs to be cleaned from this world and who better than I, some rando guy that makes funny faces into a camera as a hobby, to do it?!

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No, I'm not going on another rant.

Also fuck you guys for using arts&crafts time to make that thing.

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MAYBE IF MY POKEMON MADE ME A NICE "THANK YOU FOR BEING OUR TRAINER" CARD ONCE IN A WHILE I WOULDN'T BE SO PRONE TO GENOCIDAL THOUGHTS!

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I imagine most of your actions are no-brainers.

As in you don't think them out beforehand.

Your next line shows that pretty clearly.

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Jesus Christ.

How can two exceptionally long-lived goddesses be this socially retarded?

They JUST basically said "We'd kill Veronica for the lives of the majority, haha." to Veronica's biggest (and only) fan.

A girl they NEED to stay on their side. (for some reason)

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I...I don't think I'll even need godly powers or the Red Chain to defeat these two anymore.

I think I could probably trick them into doing it for me with a limerick.

Fucking hell...

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Like REALLY.

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What would it have honestly cost them to heal Veronica?

Nothing.

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Do they not see that it'd be the perfect way to get Melia even deeper in debt to them?

Or is "we saved your life, now you owe us" their only method of manipulation?

Because then they're no better than your average school friends who slap you in the chest when you walk slightly out onto the road and claiming they saved your life.

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...

Are we sure these two aren't just robots pretending to be gods now?

Because they seem very "beep-boop" with emotions.

Like...too beep-boop.

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Gods are usually ridiculously emotional to the point of constantly throwing tantrums in mythology so it's odd to see here.

And it's not like their Pokemon side is making them like this.

Pokemon are very emotional creatures! Even my discount UFO/Computer Zolt tears up at the ending of Mystery Dungeon 2!

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SEE!? HE WAS ABSOLUTELY DISTRAUGHT!

For fuck's sake, the early part of this game revolved around Pokemon without any happy emotions whatsoever!

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Caesar and Chiller here were Shadow Pokemon for three years before I met them for example! They knows a lot about suppressed emotions!

Isn't that right, guys?-

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...

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Uhhh, Caesar?

You good?

You look a bit shook...

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...

ALRIGHTY THEN.

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ONCE AGAIN, WE'RE GONNA PRETEND HE DIDN'T JUST SAY THAT AND MOVE ON!

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Really?

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Well it looks like this bad boy is non-perishable goods!

And not a single cosmic repercussion has come my way because of it.

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...

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...

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You will stop chiming in on this discussion right now, or I will throw you into the god damn ocean, Macross.

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Oh boy.

It's always a bad sign when someone mentions the greater good.

It usually means do it for an uncaring society or high-minded politician to further their own agendas.

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Of course it's unlike me.

I'm going for the Superior Sean ending of this game, not these twits' "Greater Good"!

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Uhhh...

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Speaking from experience it's not THAT hard to avoid.

Seriously, do you two not keep up with current trends?

Which are from my understanding, some nutjob on the internet ranting about something?

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You can HEAR!?!?

I thought everyone in this game was deaf!

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I empathise with Timpea and Spacea now.

Only about Melia's penchant for never fucking listening though.

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"ZOMG WE SHOULD TOTES MAGOTES DO THIS AGAIN SOMETIME! TTYL!"

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A gift from the gods?

What's it gonna be? A golden fleece? A helm of darkness? Excalibur?

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PHENOMENAL COSMIC POWERS!?!

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Aww...it's just some shitty necklace.

Probably has some sinister purpose too.

Like a tracking device.

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Would they need a tracking device though?

They are gods after all.

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Huzzah.

I got...?

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A...Time Gear Amulet?

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Wait, aren't these supposed to be in shrines so time doesn't stop?

It's been a while since I played Explorers of Sky but wasn't that the whole big deal?

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And I'm a guy.

The only jewellery a guy should really wear are his wedding ring.

...

And perhaps a pendant with a picture of his family that he'll be back to visit once this voyage to the New World is over.

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Someday, Eleanor...someday this game will be over and I will return to you and our beautiful Aryan children...

...

Probably shouldn't have specified how Aryan they were.

Oh well. It'll be gone when they grow up.

I used to have extremely blonde hair as a child before it went brown as I got older after all.

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One of HER Time Gears.

So my suspicion is confirmed then.

She's 100% a Diagla in human form. At least we can cross that theory off the book.

Even if it was pretty obvious from the get-go.

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A very confusing plot-hole in a Mystery Dungeon game.

Why was it that time stopped when these things were removed from the area by Grovyle but restarted when they were brought to Temporal Tower?

What was the motivation behind hiding them across the world instead of just leaving them in Temporal Tower, where they did the job better?

Granted that's me complaining about a game released...

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Ah.

Basically the remote from Click?

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I don't see any fast-forward or pause buttons on this though...

Maybe if I put it IN a remote?

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OR!

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AND BEAR WITH ME ON THIS...

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YOU COULD JUST TELL US?!

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THIS IS WHERE YOU THINK THE CONVERSATION SHOULD END?

GREAT TIMING, MELIA.

NO REALLY.

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I BET JAN FUCKING LOVES HOW YOU ALWAYS CUT THINGS OFF SO I'M BLINDSIDED BY WHATEVER THE FUCK THESE THINGS ARE GOING TO DO TO US!

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Eye of a bat and blood of a deer, I shall make Best Girl Aelita...

DISAPPEAR!

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Hey, it worked.

Maybe magic isn't a female only sport?

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Thank you for your opinion.

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Please enjoy your complimentary swim in the sea.

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Well I picked him up and threw him.

It's pretty self-explanatory, Nova.

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Oh.

Well the best theory I can come up with is I've got something I call "Cartoon Strength"

Where I'm exactly as strong or durable as I need to be for a slapstick joke to work.

Like if someone dropped a piano on me, instead of being dead or crippled, I'd be concussed and have the piano keys where my teeth usually are.

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Yeah, you're probably better off going with the flow like most of the others.

This might sound hypocritical but dwelling TOO much on these jokes will drive you into an early grave.

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Oh.

You're still here?

...

...

...

Soooooooo...

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Can I get another one of these things for Erin?

I seem to be the only one here that actually remember she exists right now and I feel like these amulets would be pretty useful for whatever fucking thing you forsee heading our wa-

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Or just...fade to fog then.

No, that's cool.

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Really sorry for trying to give Erin a reason for coming to this time period.

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And one day...

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People will stop talking like I'm not in the room, ten inches from their face.

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But that day will not be soon.

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Seriously, what a fucking unnecessarily ominous thing to say before I even left the room.

These goddesses ironically have no sense of dramatic timing.



















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Heads up btw, Timpea also said you'd learn to sacrifice your loved ones for strangers one day.

So yeah.

Expect some bullshit to happen on this trip in a few hours.

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Wait, that's the WRONG thing to do?

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Ah the classic Crescent archetype.

That shared aloofness they have makes me all the more sure she's the Cresselia gijinka.

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Also what the fuck do you mean "We shouldn't worry that the rulers of Time and Space will kill us if necessary"?!

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SEEMS LIKE A PRETTY REASONABLE CONCERN TO HAVE, AELITA!

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...

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I thought you were the angry Aelita.

You seem pretty passive about gods being willing to kill you.

Are you that jazzed that we're going to ye olde hamlet of Sheridan soon?

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Oh look!

It's that girl we excluded.

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I didn't forget.

I just assumed you were already here.

It's not like I can see when we fade to black.

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So just do what I do and blame blondie here.

And as an added bonus, she's actually guilty this time!

Hooray!

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It does have a witch that raves about shampoo though.

...

I think?

Look Part Three is a LONG-ass season, alright? I've got better things to do then half-remember some loser's loser speech!

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"D-don't leave me out of things, you j-jerks".

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That's the subtext I get from that mild threat.

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You mean the goddesses of Time&Space?

Yeah.

They gave us friendship amulets so you'd feel even more excluded.

Feel free to have mine if you want.

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What exactly is an exciting conversation by your standards?

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Seems like someone asking if you'd kill your loved ones for the "greater good" would elevate your heart-rate pretty fucking quickly.

Especially if that someone is a goddess tasked with "saving" the world by any means.

Her hypothetical is almost guaranteed not to stay as one.

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Cats, Dogs or secret third option Dragons?

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Yeeeeessss?

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My god, you are so wishy-washy.

Just get your terrible teenage lesbian relationship started with already so we don't have to deal with you beating around the bush.

...

...

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I'm gonna say it.

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BECAUSE I'M SURE YOU AND VERONICA WILL BE DOING PLENTY OF BEATING AROUND THE "BUSH" LATER ON!

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BA DUM TSSH!!!

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Oh?

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Do even you have anyone you actually love though?

You answered far too quickly for that to be the case.

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Unless of course you ask yourself philosophical questions like that in your spare time.

...

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You do, don't you?

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God, that's lonely.

Are we your only friends, Erin?

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Ah man, was that rude?

Look I know her type alright? She's cynical and mean because she's actually really lonely deep down inside!

It's a classic.

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Oh okay, we're exclaiming over the fact that Erin would stab her mom over 3 million faceless Indians.

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That'd be very heavy after all.

1.5 gallons per person multiplied by millions? Forget about it.

...

But I don't really believe her answer.

She hasn't been poisoned by power of friendship enough to choose her loved ones over millions yet.

My guess is Erin's actually a bleeding heart underneath all that snark and pragmatism.

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Don't say it.

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DO NOT FUCKING-

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AAGH! MY COMEUPPANCE!

HOW COULD IT HAVE COME UP SO SOON!?!?


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I hear hydrogen peroxide is pretty good for removing those types of stai-ohhhhh.

An analogy.

Nice. Very dramatic.

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Kind of ruined by saying it in this sunny rural village though.

But it's a hell of a line, I'll give you that.

Accurate too. I'd remember someone if they were the only person I killed but millions of people?

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I'd sooner remember how many breads I've eaten in my life than their faces.

...

Especially since bread has been essentially free my entire life.

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Exactly. There's no real right answer to it, it's all a matter of opinion.

It's only a philosophical hypothetical at the end of the day.

That ominous question surely won't play a part in our future endeavours.

No siree bob.

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Says the girl who didn't give an answer and instead said it was "too hard a question".

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Should we have written answers on wooden boards for you to break instead, karate kid?

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Right.

Both the direction and affirmation.

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'S weird how we never leave all at once.

We always have to do it in turns.

Guess Pokemon battling has a bigger effect on us that we think...

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She's genuinely better like that though.

You weren't around during her emo gotta-be-the-leader phase on Terajuma.

It was fucking painful.

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Thank you for twisting my words into the worst meaning possible, you fucking sparkplu-

...

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Who fished you out of the ocean, Macross?

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CONFESS!

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*Sigh*

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At least those two are getting along.

Better that than one of them trying to eat the other.

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YOU, ZIRA! YOU KNOW IT WAS AIMED AT YOU!

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You mean she kicked you in the face and flew up onto the lampshade where you can't reach her?

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Yeah go for it.

I never turn that light on anyway.

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...

Really, Erin?

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I thought you'd be smart enough not to use the word "realistic" when you're standing here, fifty odd years before you were born and talking to someone who's died several times.

The power of love and heroism might actually be tangible forces here.

Huey Lewis will be thrilled.

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...

I feel like that's a personal attack on me.

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It's not MY fault I was born into a mundane world where none of this exciting nonsense happens, Erin.

What's your excuse?

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...

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Well that was fun.

Did everyone at home enjoy learning how disturbingly okay I am with genocide?

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Kind of irritating that nobody in-game actually asked me for my answer though.

I wonder if Jan just didn't have the balls to let the player canonically state that they're okay with massacring more than a billion people?

...

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It feels like the chapter should end here, doesn't it? That whole conversation was surprisingly exhausting.

But unfortunately for me, Past-Sean seemed to disagree.

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So welcome to roughly the half-way point, I guess?









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Over the river and through the wood, to Aelita's grandmother's house we go~

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But first we're going over the river and through the woods to Melia's grandmother's house for a second.

Or whatever the hell is the story here.

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Now then...

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Oh what the actual fuck do you know, game?

Adding more Derogatory Trainers to a situation will always improve it.

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Granted I've never tested that theory before but I can only assume more of me is a good thing.

Maybe when both Reborn and Rejuvenation are over we can fight the two Seans to see which one is best?

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My money's on me.








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Uh...no it isn't?

Stupid place name text box.

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There's supposed to be a big annoying cave down here. Not the ocean.

...

Oh wait, didn't the upcoming calamity rend the land asunder and what not?

So this is basically Pangaea Aevium then?

...

Pangaevium?

Pangaevium.

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Well this certainly doesn't exist in the future.

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Although I did find Carnage in Sheridan...

Maybe he's descended from the Heracross that lived here?

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What an interestingly unnecessary tidbit for his backstory.

Shame we won't see him for a long while.

I need to preserve the Pokemon with Mega Evolutions so I can actually use them later on.

Using them now makes it look like I'm sending them to die.

...

The weaker ones like Tenacious Bee and Nancy Jr, I mean.

Carnage is actually a good fighter.

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God they're going to be so good when I finally get them.

Tenacious Bee with Adaptability, High Speed, and High Attack are a recipe for destruction.

It's pretty frail but that's what Adaptability boosted STAB U-Turn is for!

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Mega-Heracross is a beast stat-wise and will certainly be a boon to the team.

I'm just not that fond of Skill Link as an ability for it.

The only STAB moves you can give it to take advantage of that are Arm Thrust and Pin Missile.

Plus one of Skill Link's main uses (King's Rock flinching) can't be used due to him needing to hold a Mega-Stone.

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Huge Power and the rare Steel/Fairy typing is pretty baller.

It's rather slow though but it's defences are good and Sucker Punch can help out with that.

...

Huh.

Thanks to Mega Evolution, these three will dethrone Rose for highest Attack in the party.

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Oh don't be jealous, you're still my number one 'mon both chronologically and emphatically.

And who knows?

Maybe the new generation of Pokemon will bring back Mega Evolution and FINALLY give you one?

If any Dragon type deserves one, it's you.

...

And maybe Druddigon.

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And speaking of useless freeloaders like Nancy Jr. and Tenacious Bee...

We've caught up with these three.

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It's missing the new "old kung-fu town" theme that it has nowadays.

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Well considering the first time I came to Sheridan, Keta was living in a small copy-paste ruin on top of the hill and not in a giant kung-fu house, is it really that surprising?

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See?

I think the only thing to stay the same in that town throughout the version changes was the presence of a battling field on his front lawn.

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And what was up with Crescent's Gothielle giving me a Nuzleaf for no reason back then?

Was that even her Gothielle back then? Why was it there?

Was it about to kill Coyote in that room?

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Who fucking knows?

Pre-Version 8 was a lawless mad land where Melia could throw a grunt over a treeline and be asked what she eats for breakfast the next.

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Would you know if this place looked different if Aelita hadn't said anything though?

This is Melia and yours first time in Sheridan after all.

Hell, if Melia had been to Sheridan before, this whole story would be different since she wouldn't have gotten lost in Amethyst cave like an idiot.

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We start banging on doors, pushing old people around and being a general nuisance until somebody with a unique character sprite comes to tell us to stop?

Works for the criminal gangs at least.

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Yeah, what exactly was that about anyway?

How could the answer she's looking for about herself be found decades in the past?

She's 17-ish! Just like pretty much everyone I meet for some reason!

Did her grandma have the same curse put on her or something?

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Did everyone remember to bring their giant magnifying glasses to help us search for clues?

...

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You'd think that'd be the cue for me to bring out a giant magnifying glass prop, wouldn't you audience?

But alas.

The joke was not worth that much effort.

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OR DID I REALISE THAT THE RING LIGHT LOOKS A LOT LIKE ONE AND DO THE JOKE ANYWAY??

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That's an...oddly specific thing to say for someone from this time period.

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Well yeah, it came up on the textbox after all.

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Wait, that was someone singing?

Why was it in orange text?

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Have I been misreading the meaning behind the words being orange this whole time?

Instead of being something important, they're just the character saying something in a sing-song voice?

...

That makes a lot of past-orange text scenes seem really weird now...

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WAIT.

Could this finally be the musical episode of Pokemon Rejuvenation!?

...

God, it's pretty sad that I'd unironically love that.

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I DEMAND A GASTON-LIKE SONG TELLING EVERYONE HOW FUCKING GREAT I AM AT EVERYTHING!

SEAN AND GASTON EVEN RHYME! IT'S PERFECT!


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I'm especially good at Pokemon Trainiiiiing~

My what a guy, our dear Sean!


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First I think we need a part of the game where I save Christmas.

Or let's be honest, where I steal Christmas, have my heart grow three sizes and then save it.

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Oh god, it's almost scary how well it would fit.

We've even got the doe-eyed blonde girl ready to go!

...

Although maybe Mosely would be a better fit?

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No...

Knowing her she'd probably think stealing Christmas was a great idea...

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Eh?

So those who defy fate are given a worse destiny automatically?

How charming.

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Is there a god, or let's be realistic (Rejuvilistic?) here, goddess of fate in this game too?

Is there a Pokemon that rules over fate?

I imagine it has a woolly red coat that it makes into balls of yarn.

And that's where Destiny Knots come from.

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A prison of Ice?

This sounds like Angie talk to me.

But what does the song mean?

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"The world's gonna get fucked up and people are definitely going to die"

"But if they cryogenically freeze themselves, they will survive."

"They will surviiiiive, Hey! Hey!"?


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Odd message.

I also can't really get an idea of how this song is being sung in-game.

Since we're just reading it and rhythm and the beat aren't there at all.

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I wonder if the entrance to Caratos is still behind that waterfall?

Is Caratos even here right now?

Or did Sheridan get shoved into it when the world exploded and launched whole landmasses every which way?

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?

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!?!?!?!

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Is that the girl that Vitus fused with to form Angie back in her Tower?!

For some unknowable reason?

(Look back at the Angie Gym Battle Chapter, sports fans because I don't feel like...)

(Oh fuck it, fine. I'll do it.)

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...

This game was never normal.

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Yes.

Where are your buxom wenches, witch?

My merry band wish to drink and tell tales of other times when we drank and told tales.

...

Which was never.

Everyone else is underage.

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Well that was all very unnecessary.

I see Angie inherited the showoffsmanship from this half then.

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Hey.

I'm Sean. We've never met before because I missed that segment of the time-travelling mansion.

We've also never met in some...psychic vision?

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I'm not too sure why or how I saw you fuse with a man.

Dimensional shit, most likely.

I could have inhaled too much rift matter fumes and been tripping balls at the time.

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Yeah, it's weird, isn't it?

You'd think it'd be Andriad or Inju or some combination of their names but no.

The character with the weirdest creation is given one of the most normal names.

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Wait, the fuckers from Kristiline gave her that name?

Kristiline is still a location in this time?

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That does make me wonder about whether or not Terajuma was part of Pangeaevium.

It could have just been the GDC and the Gearan island.

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God I wish my map worked in this time period.

The cartographer in me is dying to know.

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It also has an A for Arceus in it.

...

Yeah.

Think about it.

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Ah yes. The fabled word of Arceus.

Allow me to recite a passage.

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Arceus arceus, ceus ar, ar ar us, ceus.

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Armen.

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Whoa, Erin doesn't approve of non-talisman using religions?

Big shocker there.

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You should learn to respect other people's beliefs like I do, Erin.

...

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...

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Caesar?

Caesar, you there?

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Huh.

Well if nobody's going to bring any contradicting evidence forward then it is now a FACT that I respect other people's beliefs.

Huzzah.

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How surprisingly tolerant for a woman who tried to sacrifice the blonde girl slowing inching behind my back.

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I doubt she's going to start slinging icicles out of nowhere, Melia.

How do you even know she can do that when you were unconscious during her freak o-

Pffft.

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I just remembered Venam dropped you down the stairs while we were "tactically retreating".

I guess not all of Terajuma was bad.

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Is that what the kids are calling it nowadays?

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That freaky hybrid from the future?

Yeah. She's not.

Because she was fused with a cult leader then.

That's why she goes apeshit for Arceus.

...

Wonder why I didn't mention that after seeing that vision?

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In fact, why has nobody really mentioned Indriad to Melia at all?

Why is her possible father/ancestor a Sean&Venam villain of all fucking things?

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Yes.

...

Come to think of it you aged...like extremely well.

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We're roughly 50 years or so in the past but you don't look any younger than when we met you in the future.

Did the fusion dance combine yours and Indriad's lifespan somehow?

Did you cryogenically freeze yourself so you could keep this oh-so-smooth skin?

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What a fucking weirdo, am I right?

Imagine talking to yourself like some kind of sad loser!

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Aha! The buxom wenches are here!

Oh, it's just Vivian.

And...someone new?

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You'd be surprised how wonky time and distance works in this game.

It took a train at least 12 hours to get from West Gearan to Route 7, right? (And that's just me assuming it wasn't a full 24 hours because that's ridiculous)

The average passenger train speed is 145km or 90mph.

That means the distance between the two islands is around 1080 miles.

That's 40% the way across America from left to right. How the fuck are these islands even considered to be in the same region?

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Who cares about that?

We need more MAP MATH.

NOTHING MAKES A GAME MORE EXCITING THAN KNOWING HOW FUCKING FAR THE PLAYERS ACTUALLY HAVE TO WALK!

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Yes let's give a big round of applause to the girls who did nothing as I aborted that Deoxys baby.

They're the REAL heroes.

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Just like how comic super-heros constantly say that firemen and healthcare workers are in a not-at-all patronising way.

Like no, they're in a comic book just like you, Spider-Man.

Saying that is stupider than that one comic page of a bunch of villains crying about 9/11.

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Like wooooow.

Couldn't be any more ego-centric, could they?

Oh sure, Magneto wants all non-mutants either enslaved or dead but when heckin' America is under attack he jumps to help.

Or how Juggernaut in the back there tried doing the very same thing by himself a few years before 9/11.

The only one I could possibly buy feeling that way is Kingpin because he's a New Yorker and would probably see it as a personal insult.

God I fucking hate comic book writers.

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Oh believe me, miss.

The pleasure is alllll mine.

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Yep.

We found...

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The fuck are we looking for again? Aelita's...what?

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Are we just waiting for something to go wrong again?

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Visiting for dark secrets and whatnot.

Say, would any of you happen to know about Garufan curses?

Of the hair-changing, bitchiness multiplying variety?

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It's okay.

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I forgive you for your egregious crime of assuming we came here for an actual reason.

I'm just that merciful.

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Sheridan really seems to have a problem with people staying here. Keta had that problem as well.

Maybe you guys should think about opening some more attractions. Maybe even a open a shitty Starlybucks?

That'd ruin the secluded mystical valley vibe going on though.

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You run for...leisure?

Not because there was some explosion that you either have to run from or toward like I do?

...

Huh.

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What a peaceful era this is.

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Well kinda.

I did stop/cause (or am currently stopping/causing?) a magic bomb from blowing up a city after all.

And the whole place is going to be blown to kingdom come soon.

Okay, I guess it's bad here too.

...

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God I hope we're in the timeline where I didn't hurl the bomb at Melia's face.

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Something that's no doubt hereditary.

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WOULDN'T YOU AGREE, AELITA!?

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That's very rude of her, Anju.

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She wanted to go fast...?

And her hair is blue...?

Hmmm...sounds...familiar...

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Hey, don't worry.

You guys have got nothing on that Radiator Springs place near GDC.

I wonder if we'll get to see that in it's heyday sometime soon?

With a song by James Taylor playing the whole time maybe?

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Shit, did you guys see which direction she went?

I missed the screen capture with her walking so I have no fucking clue.

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Said Melia, with her fingers crossed.

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???

Oh damn it, now they've vanished too.

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I've really got to take more pictures when those fuckers start walking so I don't have to run around trying to find them.

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Well the angle would technically be right, so yes.

Yes, we are.

Smile!

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Pretty sure I saw you with lips at one point.

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Ew.

Vestigial lips.

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Is...Isn't that how you get peace and tranquillity?

Emptying things?

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I'll never understand these magical girl types.









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Well I'm glad you all waited outside or I'd have never found you.

This house is incredibly plain compared to all the other places where we shacked up.

Don't you know who we are, Cella?

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How to calm yo tits?

Spiritually?

That's pretty much why we came here isn't it?

For you to learn something in this time about how to calm yo tits so you won't throw a telekinetic tantrum if you're put under stress?

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Thank you for your input, Erin.

We all love and treasure you.

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HOW DARE YOU NOT SAY ANYTHING USEFUL, MELIA?!

WE ALL HATE AND DISPARAGE YOU!

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Okay, mild bullying over.

Is this the shack you've given us, Cella?

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There's still beds, right?

I ain't sleeping on the floor in one of those Japanese sleeping bags.

My back isn't used to those things.

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*Yawn*

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Who cares?

Place is going to explode soon anyway so it won't matter.

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Uhh...

I meant that...figuratively?

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Speech 100.

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I hope so too.

...

No, like really.

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Because we just had a very ominous conversation with a pair of emotionally stunted goddesses and I'm rather worried about what's about to go horribly wrong.

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Go on then.

As long as it's a small favour.

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...

Alright?

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Ah.

Well played, Cella.

Well played...

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Reeling us in with a small favour before you tie the big favour around our necks and STRANGLE us with a sense of obligation.

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...

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Who knows?

Probably something about revitalising Sheridan or cheering Vivian up somehow?

Future Sheridan went to shit when Keta started becoming depressed after all.

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Do we have any Mewtwo's around that Vivian could kick?

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"Re-group?"

Melia, why do we need to regroup? We're all standing right next to each other.

What the hell are you talking about?

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Oh.

Now I'm alone.

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Fucking transitions.








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I'm surprised they left behind all this furniture and what I assume are exactly four beds upstairs.

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Yeah.

She's the reason you and I went to get that fucking Magma Stone, remember?

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Well there was a vast web of people who are somewhat at fault for us going down to that chamber like Crawli, Valerie, Melia, Geara, Zetta, Spacea, Timpea, Madelis, Amber, Eldest...

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Pretty much every named character we encountered on Terajuma is to blame in some small way.

I hear it's getting redone too.

Shame I'll never see it.

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Well there's SOME doubt.

Indriad seems to be the dominant mindset in the Angie we know.

Although...

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He was a raving lunatic to be sure but he wasn't as unstable as Angie was.

Hmmm...could be the fusion effect affected their minds?

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Who knows, honestly?

We'll just have to wait until the next Angie arc.

Coming soon, maybe? I did find Cera squatting in an apartment in GDC earlier after all.

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Don't bother trying to.

I'd tell you but I'm physically incapable of explaining things I know through my visions.

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I refuse to believe that wasn't an attempt to ingratiate yourself with me, Zaius.

I just need you to admit it.

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NEVER!

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Wait, her NOT being a homicidal religious zealot is scaring you?

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Oh wow.

Actual fucking trauma?

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Yes but from Angie?

That's pretty low on the Sean scale of trauma.

Plus Melia was unconscious when Angie went proper bonkers and started throwing ice missiles at my face.

--

I guess there's that weird sacrifice scene where she shifted between Melia, Young-Melia and Even-Younger-Melia-who-looked-suspiciously-like-Marianette.

But the worst she got from that was a small fever!

And considering her actions immediately after waking up, brain damage.

--

Speaking of traumatic incidents, wasn't Aelita actually tortured?

Seems like she got over that a bit too easy.

There should probably be a throwaway line somewhere in this that she doesn't like Electric types now because of it.

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Well yeah, it was incredibly cold in that tower and neither you or Veronica were really dressed for it.

It's actually a miracle Veronica didn't get frostbite since all she wore then is a skirt and a tank top.

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And we all know how well you do at that.

Anyone else remember her attempt at long-range ventriloquism on Mt. Valor?

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What are you even worrying about, Melia?

I will literally just beat her up again if she tries anything dodgy.

She's like fifty years weaker now too. Should be a piece of cake.

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Uh...

Yes.

THAT was my intention.

Definitely not me just bragging about how I can beat literally every living thing at a Pokemon battle like usual.

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Nope! Just good ol' friendly Sean!

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Fuck.

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Is it about that giant face in the sky constantly looking down upon us?

Don't worry about him. That's just me.

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The giant man in the sky, Melia.

I JUST mentioned it.

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Being a bad mother's her game!

...

Okay, you can start your flashback now.

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Which I'm sure horrified your anti-social tendencies.

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Yes. To my great horror.

I can't believe Jan would actually use the word Rejuvenation in his Pokemon Rejuvenation game.

What a title-dropper.

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Oooohhh...

That second 'many' makes me sad.

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One 'many' would have been fine, we would just assume she was interested in history but TWO 'manys'?

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I know this is the second time I've asked this today alone, but are we actually your only friends, Erin?

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IMMIGARNTS!?

ANYTHING BUT THE IMMIG'NTS!

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Was that because Nintendo shut down Pokemon Uranium?

Did the creators just decided to go out in a blaze of glory and Chernobyl the whole region?

A bold move on their part.

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A massive yet somehow still uninhabited island in the 2Xth Century?

Well aside from Vitus.

Which makes his argument against Blakeory all the more understandable.

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Imagine refugees coming over, "buying" the land from some non-existent government authority over the island and then kicking you and your family out of your own home?

I'd nail the fuckers to a cross.

A cross made from the bones of the people who sold the land in the first place.

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Guessing that ended up as a bust.

What with the whole "massive cataclysm that's strong enough to cleave the land in twain" coming soon.

To a Nuzlocke series near you.

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Make sure to wear your 3-D glasses for that chapter.

ONLY these old outdated ones you wore to watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl mind you.

None of those fancy normal looking ones.

No, you have to look STUPID in your own home to be allowed to read that chapter.

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Also what does she mean "restore"?

Was she developing some sort of terraforming device?

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Great reaction, babe.

Why don't you leave it to the pros next time?

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Two?

When there is three of us in the room?

Do you think me an uncultured swine who doesn't keep up with local history, woman?!

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Hmph. I suppose you make a good point there.

...

Don't know who exactly told you I'm not from Aevium but whatever.

(Plus I don't actually have any pre-Aevium memories but I'm not telling them that)

...

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Wait a minute, what the fuck do you mean "Not fully"!?

Which part do you think I am? !

Uncultured or Swine?!

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Excuse you, I've been to a museum TWICE and I went into an art gallery to use the bathroom once as well!

And I appreciate women for MORE than just their tits and asses!

The thighs! The lips! The shoulders! ALL VERY IMPORTANT TOO!

I AM A MAN OF CULTURE!

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...

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THANK Y-

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...

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Why am I able to talk to Pokemon again?

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Who cursed me with this power?

I would have been SO content with them just cutely squawking their names at me instead...

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And of course Erin goes back to being selectively deaf after I ask my question.

How very convenient.

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Because, as I've said many times before yet nobody seems to realise...

A SINGLE FAMILY CONTROLS THE MEDIA, THE SCHOOLS AND THE EDUCATIONAL FACILITIES.

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THE BLAKEORY CONSPIRACY! DOES NOBODY READ MY BOOK!?

I PURPOSEFULLY PUT LITTLE EFFORT INTO DESIGNING THE COVER SO PEOPLE WOULD NOTICE IT RIGHT AWAY!

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And now I've just realised that, of course they haven't read my book...

The Blakeorys own all the publishers too!

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You'd be surprised how many people would still follow that creed, Dr. Z.

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It does.

I'm just gobsmacked that someone else is FINALLY noticing it.

Maybe Erin DID read my book!?

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Something to think abo-

WHY DON'T WE ASK THE PEOPLE WHO WERE ALIVE AT THE TIME, GENIUS!?

IT WAS ONLY FIFTY YEARS AGO!

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...

Y'know...

I wonder if there's another player controlling Erin like I control Sean?

Because it's hard to imagine a fully in-game Pokemon Rejuvenation character questioning things and the pondering about them as much as she does.

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I too, say something generic to say about going over there!

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wa hoildn on goin for a piss firdt

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NARRATOR: ...

I feel like he could have left this part out...

Or at least spelled it correctly...

Never Nuzlocke on a full bladder, kids.







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So it's kinda weird how the water down there is unsurfable, huh?

...

Why are there water areas that are unsurfable anyway!?

If my fucking lion can swim on lava surely one of my water types could swim on slightly darker water!

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We'll never resolve that question another day.

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Ladies.

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Not quite, Aelita.

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That's right.

The life and soul of any party!

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The religious nut with magical powers!

...

Well the parties I go to have them.

Maybe you guys just aren't cool enough to get in?

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Smooth, Melia.

Very natural to jump a foot backwards when you see someone.

God, you're so bad at things it's almost lovable.

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Not quite.

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I invited Vivian.

Is that cool?

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Oh for...

Did she happen to make any trips to any secret soul-splitting grottos lately?

Because I'm starting to see where Keta got his inspiration from.

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Yeah.

She looks healthy enough.

Soul-Split Keta looked like a famine victim his cheeks were so gaunt.

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So what you're saying is that you're single right now?

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IT'S A COMEDY SHOW, ZIRA! I'M BEING INAPPROPRIATE DURING A SERIOUS CONVERSATION WHICH PEOPLE CAN FIND HUMOURUS AS LONG AS THEY AREN'T PHYSICALLY WITNESSING IT!

AND WHO ARE YOU TO TALK!? YOU EAT PEOPLE!

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And that NOT for a lack of trying on your part!

Don't try and play the "innocent little angel" card on me!

I'm wise to your tricks!

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Hmmm...yeah maybe that would have been the right thing to say.

I'll file that away for next time I hit on grieving widows.

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Your problem is that you're single and looking for a man to spend those cold, pre-apocalyptic nights with?

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Say no more.

As pretty much the only man in this story, you can count on me.

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Oh?

...

Oh.

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Oh Goddammit!

I've been hitting on Eldest this whole time, haven't I?!

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.

Well she probably won't remember this meeti-

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...

Fuuuuuuuck.

Well HOPEFULLY she doesn't remember me hitting on her.

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Also was I able to read minds back in the past? How'd I know what she said in brackets?

Have I literally always been able to do that or is (insert words here) supposed to indicate someone talking under their breath?

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What is an assistant Sensei called anyway?

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Wow you used to be a lawyer?

...

Also wow, lawyers exist?

I assumed we'd just use a mind-reading Pokemon to determine guilt and be done with it.

...

Wow.

It's depressing that lawyers still exist.

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How selfish of her.

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???

Well that's a fucking terrible way to do it then.

"I'm sorry, I'm depressed but the reason I can't tell you why is terrifying"

I think that'd just make someone more terrified and more determined to get to the bottom of it.

Perhaps it's a cry for help?

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Seems to come with the job of Sensei in this town.

I'm almost completely sure the position is cursed at this point.

Will it turn out that Texen is actually depressed underneath all the douchebaggery?

And next time we see him he'll be crying in his pillow about how nobody likes him because he wears shorts and a sweater vest combo?

Like DAMN kid, you went to a prep school, we GET it.

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What is with the people of this annoying village that they're both incredibly needy and incredibly disloyal at the same time?

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If ever found someone I deemed worthy of following (good luck there) having a hard time, I wouldn't just fucking mope and abandon them at first chance.

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I'd slap them on the shoulder and tactfully say; "S'matter with you, fuckface? You look like your whole family just died in a fire! Hahahaha!"

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I prefer Gas, Gas, Gas myself.

Or Running in the 90's.

Weird of you to bring up Eurobeat music all of a sudden though, Aelita.

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Well she's a nun so you're in luck there.

Don't know how many Hail Marenie's an Arceunite would make you do though.

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Yeah...

It's not exactly monocle popping news, is it?

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That's still fucking rude though.

You come down for a visit, sing a song in the middle of town unasked and she just nods and goes off for a run.

Like damn, Vivian.

A little common courtesy for your ice witch friend.

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Dammit!

That sounds like yet another mysterious faction I'm going to have to deal with!

How many are we at now? Five? Six?!

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Let me guess...an all female group blessed with supernatural powers and dedicated to defending the land from evil?

So a group of honest-to-god magical girls?

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Christ...

THIS GAAAAAMMEEEEE!!!

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So you're the prototype and (inferior) version of Team Sean then?

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Yeah, see that's where the inferior part comes in.

You're missing the Sean of your group.

You know?

The charming rogue who ties it all together with his penis?

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So Vitus WASN'T the only person originally living here?

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Why did I think he was?

Did some NPC mention another legend about how he was? Because that seems familiar...

Like how Aevium used to be a magic sky kingdom?

Which might be true for all I know. Griselda's era seemed full of wonders like that.

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I was TRYING to forget about that, but yes.

If it makes shitmons viable then it is a genuine wonder in my book.

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Goddammit, Erin.

I've TOLD you about how rude it is to turn away to think like that.

Just because you can perfectly hide your skinny ass behind me, doesn't mean you can drop out of the conversation to mull things over.

Just go into a hyper-speed fugue state like I do whenever I go off on an internal tangent.

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Don't worry!

You can trust a bunch of perfect strangers like us!

I happen to be an expert on cheering Sheridan Senseis up!

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Or leading them to an early grave...and cheering up their severed soul?

...

Look, I'm sure this one will go much better!

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Vivian doesn't look like a gaunt cheeked zombie like Keta did after all!

It'll be fiiiiine.

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I too, say something generic about wanting to help!

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...

Okay now that we've all agreed to help, I'm starting to rethink my own offer.

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ALL of us agreeing to do the same thing?

That's a bigger sign of the end times than those earthquakes that keep happening.

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Usually how this goes is that they all agree with Melia, I disagree with Melia, we're forced to do Melia's thing anyway and then it turns out we should have listened to me the whole time.

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It's how this group (badly) functions after all!

Except the badly isn't in polite brackets.

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So I'm taking back my offer to help.

Well...in spirit at least.

I know full well I'm going to be forced to follow the fucking group consensus yet again.

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*Sigh*

We'll see how it goes, I suppose.

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Sure.

Gonna be real easy to relax now that we know something possibly sinister is going on behind the scenes in Sheridan.

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It's not like the last time that happened, there was an entire Xen complex hidden in the mountain.

Or would that technically be the "next time this happens"?

Who fucking knows.

There isn't exactly a grammar guide for time-travel floating about.





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You know, me leaving a recently widowed woman's house alone after dark might get some tongues wagging.

Luckily I realised it was Eldest before I really put the moves on.

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Those moves being to respectfully tip my hat and leave, because 4 months after your fiance dies is far too soon to go shacking up with someone else.

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Besides I'm just as confused as you guys are about why I'm the one to leave last, seemingly several hours later.

It was 4 o'clock when I went in for that fifteen minute conversation and now it's half nine at night.

Like that's INCREDIBLY SUSPICIOUS, no?

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Hm?

Vivian, what are you doing out at this hour?

Women aren't allowed out after dark in this era!

All the grocery stores and cigarette stores for pregnant women are closed!

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...?

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Well.

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Looks like someone's asking to be followed home after dark.

...

Why do I seem to always be stalking some lone woman in this fucking game?





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You know it's very lucky that the people I follow, never look directly behind them.

It's always side to side.

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Which was rather fucking stupid in Vivian's case since there's just two walls beside this platform.

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This...familiar platform...

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Ah! I remember.

This is like the place Reinhard lived in with his Piplup subjects.

Spring of Purification or something?

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Okay, there's going to be a battle in here at some point.

Consider my guard raised...

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Hey wait, is this the location of the Celebi shrine in this era then?

It must be.

I've never seen those non-Poliwag lilypads anywhere else.

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So the Calamity even tore up a sanctuary like this, huh?

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And somehow...shortened it?

Is Sheridan in a completely different place in the present or was it Amethyst Cave and Caratos Mountain that got moved beside Sheridan?

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God, I wish my CyberNav map worked in this time period.

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Oh?

...

That's an "A cutscene is about to happen" Oh? by the way.

NOT the classic Egg hatching "Oh?".

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Just thought you could use the clarification.

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You know?

Because of how FUCKING STUPID YOU ALL A-

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Whoa.

A HUNDRED baths in a row?

Her skin must be so dry from all that water.

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Err...that's a lot to give to a random Celebi statue, Vivian.

Could you not offer it blood, sweat and tears instead?

Those are basically the diet version of what you're offering now.

...

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That being said, I don't think whatever you're praying to would appreciate it.

I myself have to reign in my temper when a fast-food place asks me if 7Up Free is okay when I asked for Regular.

Can't imagine a god would be as...understanding as I am.

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And will he be the one-

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TO FILL YOUR DARK SOUL WITH LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGGGGHHHHHHHTTTTTTT!?!?!!

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WELL.

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CAN'T SAY I'VE EVER BEEN BLINDED BY THIS HUE BEFORE!

WHAT A TREAT!


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...

Did whatever she want to do not work?

I can't say I'm too familiar with this yellow shining shit after all.

Usually it's just the bright white flashbang to the face that I get.

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The yellow one was much more pleasant to be blinded by at least.

The usual searing was just a mild burn in comparison to the white light.

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...

I think Vivian needs a man way more than Cella does.

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You have the ability to...hear the Earth?

Like the Lifestream or the song of Thra?

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How does the Earth know the future?

Oh! Maybe it can sense everything going on and detected whoever's going to cause the calamity?

Indriad, presumably?

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Humans will be fine though?

Fuck living in the Pokemon world with no Pokemon and nature though.

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Arceus ignored her calls?

But what was the source golden light then?

Her own power?

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Classic gods right there.

They're like in-laws.

They always show up when you don't want them and are never around when you need them.

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Is...is she talking about me?

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Unless there's someone else here...

This is getting really creepy...

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Speaking of creepy, she is standing in a pool of water and wearing nothing but a thin white robe.

...

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You do the math on how bad me watching her from behind this pillar looks.

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*GASP*

ARCEUS! SMITE HER FOR TAKING YOUR NAME IN VAIN!

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There was probably never any point to it, Viv.

Worshipping anyone someone ELSE told you is great is stupid as fuck, let alone worshipping a big deer with a steering wheel stuck to it's ass that can be caught by a ten year old.

And no, audience. I don't care about some fan theory that legendaries ALLOW you to capture them.

They'd actually be MORE pathetic if that were the case.

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...

...

...

...

I don't know why Past-Sean reposted that gif here but it still made me laugh.

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Wh-

Could they do that before?

Do you have healing tears or something?

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Challenge the oncoming disaster to a Pokemon Battle?

Even if you lose you can at least hold it in place by refusing to take your turn while the citizens of Aevium evacuate?

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That's what I'd do anyway.

Take the turn-based combat and make it work FOR me for a change.

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...

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Well now we know Vivian's reason for being depressed.

Can't say I blame her.

I'd be pretty upset too if only I knew the world was in danger and my god wouldn't grant me more power so I could stop it.

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Damn fickle gods.

They ruined religion!

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Tch, really?

This game needs to give me more options to reassure people.

I don't like how it keeps forcing me to avoid confronting the problem.

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YES.

LISTENING.

NOT WATCHING YOU BATHE IN A POOL OF WATER WEARING A THIN WHITE ROBE.

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Look...can I...call my lawyer?

He's like three years old right now but he's never steered me wrong before.

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YOU JUST TOLD ME NOT TO DISTURB HER, GAME!

WHICH IS IT?!?

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YOU WANT ME TO JUST DIVE IN AND SLAP HER ON THE ASS FOR YOU?

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YOU WANT ME TO SLAP AELITA'S HOT GRANDMOTHER ON THE ASS!?

IS THAT WHAT YOU WANT, GAME?!

'CAUSE I'LL FUCKING DO IT!

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*Ahem*

I hope you didn't hear that outburst.

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I also hope you don't pass down any stories to your descendants of some deranged man screaming to some "game" about slapping your ass.

It may hurt my chances with them.

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Fuck, starting right off the bat with the loaded question there.

Not a particularly difficult one though.

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And especially since my darling fans at home aren't an option.

*COUGH*PATREON*COUGH*

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Jokes aside, it's me, myself and I.

The biggest joke of all, some might say.

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But I'll be seeing those people in court for slander, so who cares about them?

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Yeah?

That's normal though, isn't it?

My friends aren't bad but I like me more than them.

I don't have any kids yet for the family option.

And I refuse to be wishy-washy and say "I'm not sure".

That's a non-answer and I won't have it.

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Oh fuck off. I have plenty of that.

I'm just particular about who deserves my compassion and empathy.

It's not a CRIME to have high standards.

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You got another one of those zingers for me, Viv?

Seems like there's a lot of heavy-handed philosophical hypotheticals going around today.

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Others? No.

Loved ones...

Maaaaaaybe?

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Can't say I've ever properly been in love with anyone yet.

You know, someone that I'd actually want to spend my whole life with?

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I'm fond of my irl friends too but I wouldn't say I loved them.

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And I've never really had someone I'd call my best friend either, which is apparently weird?

But the person who told me that has multiple "best" friends based on the places she frequents so it's not really worth taking her opinion on anything.

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And really, if I've gone and sacrificed my life for someone, I still don't have any guarantee that the sacrifice actually did anything.

I'd be dead and not able to check.

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It's a bit like that stupid action movie cliché where they have a hostage at gunpoint and the hero drops his fucking gun because he CARES oh so much.

I'd take the risky shot 100% of the time.

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And if I want to be REALLY ruthless, I'd shoot the hostage THEN the bad guy as he's probably completely shocked that I did that and blame the hostage's murder on him.

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Oh calm down.

The second part was just me being edgy.

The first was 100% common sense that I how the audience takes with them next time they have to deal with a hostage situation like that.

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So to answer your question, no, probably not.

The only thing I'd do it for was to save the world, my children or at least more than 4.5 billion people.

...

Wow, that sounded really egotistical.

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But who knows, really?

I'd probably RISK my life to save someone in need but I wouldn't pointlessly sacrifice myself to do it.

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Another action movie cliche rant coming up, but you know how characters in movies and shows are juuust fast enough to take the killing blow for someone else but somehow not fast enough to just kick them out of the way?

Even though it'd be much easier and quicker?

Yeah, I hate that over-dramatic shit.

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But the important distinction to make here is that this ISN'T irl.

This is Pokemon Rejuvenation where I'm a magic never-say-die boy.

So yeah.

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Someone takes a shot at one of the Sean Squad, I'll probably tackle them out of the way.

Even low-ranked members like Veronica.

...

Probably.

...

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Don't push me on it.

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And who knows?

They may even appreciate my countless sacrifices at some point.

...

Or do what real friends would do and beg me to stop dying for them because they're worried about me.

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No.

I just know I'm going to metaphorically slap Death on its bony ass as I saunter my way back to the living world.

Perhaps twirling a cane of some sort.

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Can I focus on ANYTHING in this game without being called odd for it?

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...

Shut up.

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Ooooh so THAT'S your power then? Life Sensing?

That's way fucking better than my sensory power.

...

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You're not about to ask me if I "can paint with all the colours of the wind", are you?

Because I'm am getting some incredibly strong Pocahontas vibes off of you, Viv.

Especially since Anju just recently described you and your friends as Aevium natives.

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And I DID come here on a boat to claim this land for my own...because there isn't a more wild or challenging place I couldn't design...

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At least I think that's why I was on the boat?

I genuinely have no clue why I'm even in Aevium.

Were Nancy and I running from something?

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Look we'll file that in the overstuffed "for later" section of the brain for now.

Vivian's probably telling me important shit that I should be focusing on.

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That'd be the Time Force Power Rangers then.

Or StormChasers if you want to be an accurate loser about it.

Yet another mysterious group with unknown motives.

Much like yourself.

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Oh.

Well since you said people, I'm glad to know none of them were secretly reptoids disguised as humans.

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I was never too sure about Erin...

I did find her in an underground lair after all.

Perfect saurian territory.

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...

Oh.

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Well alright then.

That theory was kind of a longshot anyway.

More importantly, how impressive is it that I can write in perfect Arial Bold?

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Wait a minute, so you KNEW Anastasia was hiding behind those trees when Katsu went off on her "I've been such a bad parent" rant?

Heh.

Pretty sneaky of you, Viv.

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Commonly known as Team Sean or Team Derogatory.

Other less used names are; The Derogateers, Sean and Friends feat. Acquaintances, The Sean Squad, Pimp Daddy Dero and his Fine-ass Bitches, Company of the Rose, Team Main Characters, Sean and the Holograms, Teenage Mutant Trainer Humans, Enigma Ltd, Lying Hair Dyers Patrol, The New York Yankees, Team Zen, Team Yen, Team Jen, Team Den, Team Ten, Team Men...

*inhale*

The Revenginators, The Poke Warriors, The only faction in the entire region that's actually led by a man that isn't completely evil and even then who knows what the fuck Indriad is anymore, A Bad Harem Anime, Teen Titans plus One Adult, Sean-Man and his Less Amazing Friends...

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And that's about all I can come up with off the top of my head in the last 30 seconds.

If anyone at home would like to suggest one, I'd be all for it.

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No?

Did you not look in that cave where we appeared?

Or any of the other locations where time-travellers show up?

There's a magic crystal that kinda makes it obvious.

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You're right.

Those wacky teenage girls could be having a pillow fight, talking about boys, painting their nails and listening to "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" by the Spice Girls on loop right now!

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Yes.

That seems like just the right place for me.

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Of course that's just a joke.

It wouldn't be much of a fight if Erin and Melia have to go against Aelita in pillow-on-pillow combat.

She'd probably tape them to her legs and start spin-kicking their heads in.

...

Fuck.

Now I want to go see that.

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Cool.

Coming here in the first place was stupid anyway.

Eldest was literally here and she couldn't just fucking tell us in the future.

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Or wait...did we have to come back here for things to go right?

Or so Eldest would know who I am when I first come to Sheridan?

Is our interference supposed to happen in any of these past events?

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UGH.

It's so confusing.

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You know a smart or at least kind person would tell her that whatever her plan is does end up saving the world because my group came from the future.

BUT I GUESS I AIN'T THAT KINDA SMART GUY!

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Maybe it involves sacrificing something important?

Which is worrying.

There's been a lot of talk about BIG SACRIFICES lately.

...

Eh, I'm sure it's nothing.

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"Eh. I'm sure it's nothing" lied Sean, so he could do that thing where he ends the chapter ominously like he always fucking does before a finale arc really kicks in.

Because he already knows what happens.

It's a blind playthrough but he has to play and then write most of his dialogue, after all.

What a hack.

I fucking hate him.

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Sincerely, Me.

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See you next time, audience.

Might not be for a while.

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I just haven't been in the mood to work on this or much of anything lately.

It's probably due to the bright evenings throwing me off.

I can't really stay up until midnight when it actually gets dark to take pictures.

Plus my right knee is always sore when I try to sit at the desk to work and I can't figure out why.

...

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I was about to end that with a "Whatever, you didn't come here to hear my complain" but I don't think that would have been an accurate thing to say.

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Let's just leave it at "Bye" and "See you when I see you", okay?


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Well RIP to anyone who wanted Steven Stone to win.

My predictions for this round are that Leon will beat Alain, Diantha will beat Lance, Iris will beat Cynthia and Ash will beat Steven.

Then Leon will beat Diantha and probably face Ash in the finals where it COULD go either way.

I STILL support Iris all the way though.

Haxorus REPRESENT!
 
Last edited:

Decibel575

Hidden but not so Hidden Lurker
Pokédex No.
487
Caught
Jul 12, 2019
Messages
154
Nature
Timid
Pokémon Type
  1. Fairy
  2. ???
Pokédex Entry
Legends say that you may find this elusive creature hiding in the screenshot section, roaming the Terribly Titled threads
Oh, new chapter. Nice, will comment asap
 

Sovereign One

The Supreme ruler that never does anything
Pokédex No.
4284
Caught
Apr 19, 2021
Messages
111
Location
In bed
Nature
Sassy
Pronouns
He
Pokémon Type
  1. Dragon
  2. Fighting
  3. Tough
Pokédex Entry
Doesn't understand sarcasm yet is quite good dishing it out, he always laughs at inappropriate times,
Of course you'd put this up just when I was about to head off to bed. Eh, whatever, sleep's overrated.

...

...

......🙁

You forgot my replies...

There they are!

Well that's genuinely horrifying.
Like when the mothers of your cousins stealthily compete about their kids, she opens with "Sovereign One is big into feet now"?
Jeeeeesus.

I only know this for a fact because in middle school someone was talking about a weirdly sexual thing and I asked my mother about it because I didn't know what it meant. Then as I'm trying to sleep I heard my mom call my GRANDMOTHER of all people and tell her about it while laughing her ass off.

OH.
Well that's great news. Usually there's some internal strife and one creator turns out to be a mal-adjusted psycho when it comes to creating fan-games.
Glad to see it's not the case here.

I've been following this fangame since it was announced eight years ago, it is my most looked forward to fangame because of how long I've waited for it (I didn't even know reborn existed back then). If they stopped making it... I WOULD KNOW.

Would she have died otherwise if we hadn't spent time talking to her?
Or does Vivian head her off earlier than before?

??? I think we got our wires crossed here. I was basically saying there wouldn't have been time for you to pull out a racket since by the time Aelita noticed it was 2 seconds away from Katsu.

It was not a reference, no.
I was just being all anime about it.
Plus my power is REEEEAAALLL.

Well, that's a little disappointing. It had real Self Defense Rush vibes.

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Oh? You'll have to notify me when you start. I'm terrible for looking at other people's runs.
What game are you doing?

Well... I intended for it to be a secret but what the hell.

Renegade Platinum.

Though it'll probably be 2023 by the time I start putting it on this site because I'm a very slow writer and I don't like the idea of putting things on here when they aren't finished.

She might beat Lance at least since Leon and him already fought once.

Well going by that same logic Cynthia should beat Iris since Iris already lost once to Ash... to be clear that's my arguament against Diantha winning, not Iris.

Nahhh...it would be a bold move to get rid of Ash. We all know this franchise doesn't like making bold moves.

Ok, fair point. But tell me, what could Ash actually DO now? He's essentially achieved his goal, there really aren't anymore plotlines they could give him unless they pull a Digimon and reboot the series (which I REALLY don't want them to do).

Thanks for not considering doing the same for Nancy, any of my Pokemon, "Nim" or your own father.

QbLg6u7m.jpg


Nooooo...you go right ahead and ask the Goddesses of Time and Space to save your little lesbian friend from something I know is 100% curable since Nim is running around, instead of plucking those who died from just before their deaths.

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I'll just sit right here in the pool of blood that both I and my Pokemon have spilled from defending you.

Wouldn't want to interrupt this super important meeting after all.

Well of course they can't do that, because the game would be over silly!


... I had like ten different responses to this when I first got to this point and I can only think of one of them at the moment. That being that I'm quite positive they'd be singing a different tune if the single casualty was either of them.

So the people of those countries all DESERVE what's hypothetically coming to them for not reading this MASTERPIECE of a Nuzlocke that-

VTrOlWbm.jpg


only OCCASIONALLY-

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-condemns them to death!

I still feel extremely safe knowing that that poll we took gave our locations... but at least I'll get to meet you so I guess that's a plus.

Uhhh, Caesar?

You good?

You look a bit shook...

65EnJFRm.jpg


...

ALRIGHTY THEN.

Seem's Ceasar didn't hear your earlier rant about the blood of millions not affecting people.

SLqfTPom.jpg


A very confusing plot-hole in a Mystery Dungeon game.

Why was it that time stopped when these things were removed from the area by Grovyle but restarted when they were brought to Temporal Tower?

What was the motivation behind hiding them across the world instead of just leaving them in Temporal Tower, where they did the job better?

And here's my two cents on the matter, what's stopping Darkrai from attempting to destroy the tower a second time now? The Time gears are gone so there's nothing that could stop it again.

Cats, Dogs or secret third option Dragons?

Dragons, and this doesn't even just apply to pokemon. I really like mythology.

Accurate too. I'd remember someone if they were the only person I killed but millions of people?

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I'd sooner remember how many breads I've eaten in my life than their faces.

DIOOOOOOO!

kZC8rkEm.jpg


Oh what the actual fuck do you know, game?

Adding more Derogatory Trainers to a situation will always improve it.

Until you guys bump into each other and fuse for lack of a better term.

q5WXbjYm.png


And what was up with Crescent's Gothielle giving me a Nuzleaf for no reason back then?

In V13 the Gothitelle was a boss you had to fight with shields and everything.


I feel like he and Pika's Scout would get along amazingly.

God I fucking hate comic book writers.

So how do you feel about "The Boys" or "Invincible"?

q9ElLUim.jpg


She wanted to go fast...?

And her hair is blue...?

Hmmm...sounds...familiar...

... I promised myself I'd stop correcting you and I'm already going back on it.

Because Vivian's hair is purple.

Aelita colored purple.

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Was that because Nintendo shut down Pokemon Uranium?

CURIE battle when?

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Seems to come with the job of Sensei in this town.

I'm almost completely sure the position is cursed at this point.

Hope you're there for Aelita when the time comes for her to inevitably become sensei.

Fn4dsAAm.jpg


Yeah, see that's where the inferior part comes in.

You're missing the Sean of your group.

Meanwhile, in an alternate universe where Vitus/Indraid was a good guy... I'm too tired to edit something.

I happen to be an expert on cheering Sheridan Senseis up!

jYQtTdum.jpg


Or leading them to an early grave...and cheering up their severed soul?

...

Look, I'm sure this one will go much better!

Well... this will age poorly.
 
Last edited:
OP
Derogatory Trainer

Derogatory Trainer

The hero you don't need but you're getting anyway.
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
315
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
507
Nature
Adamant
Pokémon Type
  1. ???
Pokédex Entry
The most humble and modest braggart you will ever meet.
Of course you'd put this up just when I was about to head off to bed. Eh, whatever, sleep's overrated.

...

...

......🙁

You forgot my replies...
Fixed now, sorry!
 

Time Master Eon

Johto League Champion
Screenshotter
Pokédex No.
398
Caught
Jul 6, 2019
Messages
529
Location
A place beyond space and time
Nature
Lax
Pronouns
He/They
Pokémon Type
  1. Bug
  2. Fighting
Pokédex Entry
This Pokemon switches rapidly between passion and apathy
I will admit that I did try and look to see if there was a time travel grammar guide and while there is not, I did find a possibly handy rule of thumb. Use the tenses appropriate to where you are, unless you're talking about something you were or will be part, in which case you use your own perspective.

(for example if you were to land in 1942, you might say something like "the war will end in three years, I went to a memorial a while back, but I know I'll destroy it in my near future.) of course this adds some of the specifications I would use such as avoiding using numbers when talking about your own personal timeline to avoid extra confusion.
 

Revan4221

Not so Godly God
Pokédex No.
4664
Caught
Jun 21, 2021
Messages
26
Coming from literally any other god, like say, the goddess of Fire? That'd be an acceptable reason.

But from the two goddesses who control the two cosmic powers that make being late impossible?

"Said every god in every myth immediately before and immediately after interfering with the lives of mortals"

One of HER Time Gears.

So my suspicion is confirmed then.

She's 100% a Diagla in human form. At least we can cross that theory off the book.

Even if it was pretty obvious from the get-go.

These God-Complex wannabes ain’t the Creation Trio, they’re a bunch of fuckin juiced up princesses who had Garfutan Corporation Scientists shoving the Archetype up their bum till they turned into replicas. Coming straight at you from info gained in V12, not even 13. They’re pulling rules out of their arse and playing god when the player can find out that they’re as mortal as everyone else, born and raised in medieval society till some ancient scientists who had guns and robots while everyone else had spears and plate pulled them into a dimly lit room and juiced em up with that A-Grade Good Godly Shit.

If it isn’t obvious I hate these actual self-rightous pricks who would casually erase everyone from existence to a prove a point that was just as easily told. They’re a living plot-hole, since they only suspect Team Xen. They don’t even know for sure despite claiming to be the Gods of Reality itself. If you can beat up Griselda you can sure as shit beat them up as well.
 

No-name

Conqueror of the Goldenrod Gym
Pokédex No.
603
Caught
Jul 31, 2019
Messages
272
Location
Nowhere significant
Nature
Serious
Pokémon Type
  1. Fighting
  2. Normal
Pokédex Entry
Likes vandalizing school buildings and is quite proud of doing so.
Not I.
I don't tend to think about those kind of things before I say them.
I have a very pure hearted mind and soul you see.
Says the guy constantly fantasizing about tying girls up and doing perverted things to women he hates?
...
Erin, maybe?
How is she supposed to do that?
Of course it is.
Or are you going to tell me that there are siblings in japan ARE related by blood and not some overly convenient re-marriage or adoption?
Impossible.
You really think there are no blood-related siblings in hentai?
Fully chocolate ANYTHING is garbage.
If it is a vanilla with chocolate chips that's okay. Or a chocolate bar with a biscuit inside.
But PURE chocolate is rancid.
sqr(HEATHEN) [Heathen squared]
I may have innocently appropriated some goods and Pokemon at times but those were all for the good of the region!
Which could HARDLY be considered stealing.
Stealing, even for the greater good, is still stealing.
Run's cancelled.
Go home.
You really gonna leave Rose, Ceaser, Chiller and the others behind?
Erin comes pretty close at times with her outfits.
Does she? I've seen her outfits, I just don't remember them ever showing up in-game.
Kinda odd that the bookworm girl shows the most skin out of the entire cast bar maybe Valarie.
Who's whole gimmick is "I like swim".
Also "Prevent the rest of the gang (Saki) from doing stupid"
"I will respect and follow you because you keep me on a VERY loose leash and are almost as terrible as I am."
More the "Villain complements and praises the hero" but ok.
ARE YOU EVEN HUMAN, NO-NAME!?
YOU COULD BE AN A.I. SENT TO MONITOR ME IN CASE I ACTUALLY RALLY PEOPLE TO MY ROBOT KILLING CAUSE!
You really think an AI as dumb as me would be the one sent to monitor you?
Hw9Ieh2m.jpg

indJBijm.jpg


...

Then why did we RUN here!?
Jan needed a way to make this scene happen after the time limit ran out.
Sure, they're extremely beautiful in a disgustingly divine sort of way...

And their hair DOES appear to be as silky as they bragged to Melia...

...

I lost my train of thought.

lNXBrxlm.jpg


Uh-oh.
Do not get horny for the enemy.
QcrYe03m.jpg


Because the only way I want to go back is on top of a falling nuclear bomb.
Falling ON TOP of the bomb seems counterproductive. You resurrect from the blast then what? You're still stuck in an irradiated hellscape.
Nooooo...you go right ahead and ask the Goddesses of Time and Space to save your little lesbian friend from something I know is 100% curable since Nim is running around,
How do you know (at this stage of the game) that the stoning is curable?
FUCK THE GODS. I AND MANKIND WILL BE FREE!
Calm down, Grand Karcist Ion.
Missing an "a" in "MEGaLOMANIACAL".
They mean in-game time, viewers.

I'm Future Sean and I have no fucking clue who it is.
I've finished v13 and I have no idea "her majesty" is!
ZgkhN18m.jpg


YEAH YOU HEARD HER, BITCH!

YOU'RE A FUCKING WASTE!

SDdCIKmm.jpg


I ASSUME YOU'RE THE TIME ONE, YEAH!?

I DON'T ACTUALLY REMEMBER WHICH ONE OF YOU IS WHICH!
Pink hair is Spacea, silver hair is Tiempa.
CNL5RCJ.jpg
CNL5RCJ.jpg

pUvm56jm.jpg
pUvm56jm.jpg


Whew.

Tough choice, huh?
Why is Sean on top of the trolley? Is he holding the breaks? Is that supposed to be representation of how Sean has a better solution than whatever Melia is attempting?
MAYBE IF MY POKEMON MADE ME A NICE "THANK YOU FOR BEING OUR TRAINER" CARD ONCE IN A WHILE I WOULDN'T BE SO PRONE TO GENOCIDAL THOUGHTS!
Please explain the relationsip between those two factors.
And not a single cosmic repercussion has come my way because of it.

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...

oIQbSpom.jpg


...
Was it ever said that the nuzlocke is tied to your immortality?
Okay, define "Greater good" please.
Hey, it worked.

Maybe magic isn't a female only sport?
Considering the player can recite working Garufa incantations, yeah.
Also:
King Iesiel. The Blood-magic using, pokemon sacrificing desert king.
God, that's lonely.

Are we your only friends, Erin?
Unless you count the Kimono girls, yes.
BouTSaJm.jpg


Don't say it.

OtLAJySm.jpg


DO NOT FUCKING-

uP6bEaRm.jpg


AAGH! MY COMUPPANCE!

HOW COULD IT HAVE COME UP SO SOON!?!?
Ceaser continues being the best.
Yes
But unfortunately for me, Past-Sean seemed to disagree.
This seems to happen a lot.
This game was never normal.
The Dexoy attack on the boat and fighting a Dimensional Demon before the 1st gym didn't tick you off?
The character with the weirdest creation is given one of the most normal names.
So, Sean.
In fact, why has nobody really mentioned Indriad to Melia at all?

Why is her possible father/ancestor a Sean&Venam villain of all fucking things?
I'm not even sure Jan knows the answer to that. Or maybe the devs wanted Indriad to be a reveal for Melia specificaly.
We're roughly 50 years or so in the past but you don't look any younger than when we met you in the future.
The official art portrays Anju as younger but definitely not as young as however many years ago the calamity happened.
(Plus I don't actually have any post-Aevium memories but I'm not telling them that)
You mean PRE-Aevium memories?
Rose participating probably makes this more soul-crushing for you.
IZShSO7m.jpg


You'd be surprised how many people would still follow that creed, Dr. Z.
That is literally how most conspiracy theorists think, so you're right.
Oh Goddammit!

I've been hitting on Eldest this whole time, haven't I?!

Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck.
....Didn't you call Cella "Eldest" in this chapter?
Let me guess...an all female group blessed with supernatural powers and dedicated to defending the land from evil?

So a group of honest-to-god magical girls?

rS55Ktk.jpg


Christ...

THIS GAAAAAMMEEEEE!!!
You really thought this game wouldn't become even more anime?
I genuinely have no clue why I'm even in Aevium.

Were Nancy and I running from something?
The current version is that the player and Nancy were Aevium citizens returning to the region.
 
Last edited:
Pokédex No.
927
Caught
Oct 22, 2019
Messages
266
Location
In the library with many good books
Nature
Timid
Pronouns
He/They
Pokémon Type
  1. Bug
  2. Psychic
Pokédex Entry
A very small trash boy last seen clawing themself out of the gender dumpster.
In my exalted opinion, politicians are worth less than a piss in the wind and will change directions just as quickly.
If something positive actually gets achieved then good for you.

Well they've been in power less than a month and they've increased the minimum wage, started setting up an Independant Committee Against Corruption like the former government said they'd do for a decade and didn't, and seized control of the power companies because they were refusing to put out enough power to keep everyone alive through winter without jacking up the prices. So yanno I'll take it.

It's like that one video of the Sesame Street Count.

I had legit never seen that before and it got me. I knew what was coming and it still got me.

And unfortunately like any ideal Bond villain, you'll lose to the idealized form of masculinity due to being consumed by your own hubris or malice or whatever...
And then you die.
Possibly in a very ironic way.
And the movie title will be something like Requiem for Mercury or 800 Degrees of Death.

I could never be a Bond villain. I don't have a fucked up face!

They should really start improving the crapmons already. Jan's crests are a good idea in that regard.

Must admit I'd like to see more lousy mons getting a proper boost. Like SwSh boosted a few sets of stats here and there but it's still a pathetic excuse for balance. It's okay to make some Pokemon better than others but they should all be at least passably viable!

What an odd college course where WINE-TASTING is one of the units there.
Haha "a whiff of tarmac" how the fuck would a wine even get that? Did someone spill it outside and hastily scooped it back in the bottle?

It was a hospitality course, so yeah it was odd but also most of it was interesting.
According to the teacher of said unit it means it's supposed to smell a bit like tarmac on a hot summer's day but I don't want to drink anything that smells like that thanks!

Erin seems to be becoming the dark horse of this contest though.
IF she softens up a bit.

Erin is admittedly more tolerable than most of the characters, if she acted a bit less tsundere I would probably even like her.

And I can't believe that this is the first I've heard about a second one even existing.

Protect your sanity and forget you ever heard about it. It's not worth the psychic damage.

Haha. He's got impressive lung control though.
I mean screaming for TWO hours straight? Kid should be an opera singer.

And instead he grew up to assault his classmates. Oh how I wish that was a joke.

Also it's just been announced that Steven's going against Ash in the first round so RIP Metagross.

Oh come ON. It's bullshit that Ash is even there and it's even more bullshit that he'll no doubt make it almost to the end. (If he makes it to the actual end he'll have to stop being the protagonist after all.)


Coming from literally any other god, like say, the goddess of Fire? That'd be an acceptable reason.

But from the two goddesses who control the two cosmic powers that make being late impossible?


...No. No it's not. Time is a very real natural force that can be and IS measured! IT IS A BUILDING BLOCK OF REALITY. EVEN DEVIL SURVIVOR 2: RECORD BREAKER MADE IT ONE OF THE FOUR FORCES THAT CONTROL ALL OF EXISTENCE.

Because the only way I want to go back is on top of a falling nuclear bomb.

Both a classy reference and an entirely appropriate reaction to that conga line of pure bullshit!

I don't like the insinuation that the mission was a success all thanks to Melia either.

I seem to recall Melia being the reason you ended up in the fucking lava so no that's not at all cool.


Whelp they certainly act like the Greek gods.

All they seem to do is be dicks and fuck everything not nailed down.

Hey now... Only Zeus went on random rape holidays. That's why Hera was always trying to castrate him, being Goddess of Marriage and all...


...*side eyes so intense they could slay an elephant*

They mean in-game time, viewers.

I'm Future Sean and I have no fucking clue who it is.

If it turns out to be Melia you'll be able to hear our screams from Mars.

I thought that implied that if Veronica didn't die the planet would explode not just a few million people die.

Yeah they don't exactly know how to word their creepy ass questions at all, do they.

Personally, I think we could do without a good two billion off our current world population until we can stabilize this shit better.

There were only five billion around when I was born and two billion when my grandmother was born, you know.

That's a means the population increased by three billion for 60 years and then another three billion more in less than 30.

Will it be another three in 15 years?

It's genuinely getting out of hand.

Legitimately so many of our problems could be solved if the population would drop back down to about 5-6 billion. Things were crowded but not as actively fucked as they are now...


You fucking coward. Not to mention void of intellectual thought. Anyone who went through primary school knows that fucking thought experiment.


Oh nonononono, I have never once heard the phrase 'greater good' being used by someone who wasn't planning on murdering a whole lot of people! Shit man, they didn't even use that phrase in God Eater 3 when telling an entire class of people who were essentially SLAVES that they had to die, and while monstrous the sacrifice of the AGEs would legitimately save the entire human race! (God Eater is so very anime and yet right now my hand itches for a God Arc to shove through these bitches faces, see how they like being devoured.)


Oh this is going to end badly for us.

Seems like someone asking if you'd kill your loved ones for the "greater good" would elevate your heart-rate pretty fucking quickly.

Especially if that someone is a goddess tasked with "saving" the world by any means.

Her hypothetical is almost guaranteed not to stay as one.

Jesus Christ yeah, someone asks a question like that I'd fucking stop to scream from anxiety for a bit.

(And for reference, my answer obviously depends on who is being sacrificed and whether I'd get to pick the million people dying. Because honestly if I could choose the million I'd help all the people with end-stage cancer have a fast and merciful death. If the one was someone I care about then fuck the million, if the one is Elon Musk then let him burn.)


God forbid Erin actually consider her answer or have thought about a complicated situation, you little brat!

Well there was a vast web of people who are somewhat at fault for us going down to that chamber like Crawli, Valerie, Melia, Geara, Zetta, Spacea, Timpea, Madelis, Amber, Eldest...

And someday they will all feel your wrath.

I know this is the second time I've asked this today alone, but are we actually your only friends, Erin?

...Okay asshole tendencies and extreme need to GTFO from her family is making more sense. Fuck me, did that asshole actually keep you locked up until he kicked you out?!

I would have been SO content with them just cutely squawking their names at me instead...

Lies, you'd never have gotten to talk to Rose then and you know you couldn't bear that.

If ever found someone I deemed worthy of following (good luck there) having a hard time, I wouldn't just fucking mope and abandon them at first chance.

This. If someone actually proves themself worth my loyalty, you bet I'm going to actually try to, you know, HELP THEM.

Wait a minute, so you KNEW Anastasia was hiding behind those trees when Katsu went off on her "I've been such a bad parent" rant?

Wow Vivian, even though you're going through some shit that is still unforgivably fucked up.
 

antingaround

Redemption arc
Artist
Screenshotter
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
228
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
231
Nature
Jolly
Pokémon Type
  1. Normal
Pokédex Entry
nuzlocke psychopath
Lol, I don't like the way this arc is executed. It's way too compressed and really pisses me off with how much it blueballs us before Fly. Also sucks kinda because even though Melia is, obviously, our bestie 4ever she does some extremely Melia things in it.

Cryptic self-sacrificial bullshit Vivian that somehow simultaneously is a callous ass is kind of great. Spacea and Tiempa are that magnified to the fiftieth power. It's a mess but at least the next time they show up there is a non-zero chance that we get a battle with them and kick their ass to high hell.

Update-wise the next sections are super duper dumb so take your time with it.
 

Paradox Roxy

Phantasmal Chaos Writer
Pokédex No.
2262
Caught
Jul 29, 2020
Messages
33
Nature
Quirky
Pronouns
They/Them
Pokémon Type
  1. Fairy
  2. Ghost
Pokédex Entry
Snarky paradox writer.
ILL REPLY TOMMOROW, WHY DID I STAY UP TIL 1:42 AM.

cause my past self woke up at 1 am really hungry and wanted something to read I think

Onto the replies
"Yes. Let's all take a minute to consider the scientific theory behind magic goddess gijinkas and figure this out."

Sounds like a very productive use of my finite time on this earth.

dofls4ym.jpg


Hell just by reading that nonsense, I've stolen part of your lives that you'll never get back, readers.
Proving just how aggravating this entire duo existence is. Just....why can't they just talk to us via telepathy like normal box legendaries....I see no point in making them....waifu-bait, especially because all we see of them are those tiny DS spirtes, they just look like....Fails to find a proper comparison they are that boring
Guess I'm just determined to END this Part, fake my death and disappear already.
Noooo but your fun to read!
This coming from the goddess who rules over time?!

What the FUCK is even the point of you then?
y-y know I had this entire rant on how time being a social construct shows how fragile humans are but then I just realized that line coming from a being who controls time, it probably is referring to how we measure time in seconds, minutes and hours, not LITERALLY the passage of time itself and the essence of what time is.
Or it's just a bad throwaway line so both rants are useless.
Hello!

I know what you did to your older sister!

And I'm sure if either of you could hear me say that, you'd actually speak to me directly during this meeting.
So were just saying it's canon now that the Crreation Trio are all female? because I dunno, I've seen giratina gjinkas by accident (long story short I was looking up what the word gjinka even meant and found a lot of legendary ones) usually looks non-binary. (or edgy male but eh, the non-binary ones always seemed more in line with what giratina is- it rules over antimatter)
Didn't one of these bitches teleport us to Terajuma?

Shouldn't they know about all the intermittent stuff?
Your implying a god actually cares about what puny mortals do when they aren't directly in their vision- Greek Gods rarely did. why should pokegods?
IT'S DIFFERENT! I DON'T KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT!

I'M NOT WILFULLY KEEPING THE INFORMATION FROM YOU!

I JUST DON'T HAVE IT!