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Screenshot Fan Game Mature Commentary The Terribly-Titled Nuzlocke of Pokemon Rejuvenation: Part 3: Chapter 137 - Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, I made you out of PAIN!

Extravanganza Accordian Demo
Thread Description
A heroic saga of loss, anger and a great number of idiocy induced headaches. Welcome to the wild ride that is Pokemon Rejuvenation! (Updated 14/05/22)

No-name

Conqueror of the Goldenrod Gym
Pokédex No.
603
Caught
Jul 31, 2019
Messages
249
Location
Nowhere significant
Nature
Serious
Pokémon Type
  1. Fighting
  2. Normal
Pokédex Entry
Likes vandalizing school buildings and is quite proud of doing so.
You say all these things to hurt me but we both know you'd hate it if I actually WAS a Meliafag.
No I wouldn't. Also this you ?
Gosh.

Don't you all just love Melia?

She is muh waifu 4 laif-

I don't want Melia to actually die. I think I'd miss having someone to blame.
So you admit it!
To put our relationship in a nice friendly way for this era's obsession with pop-culture, She's Frodo and I'm Sam.

6swdpZZm.jpg
While accurate, Sam DID actually care for Frodo, so this furthers my theory about your (kinda obvious) crush on Melia.
You happy now, Mr. Nitpicker?

oh4V8gzm.jpg


...

You bitch.
Ceaser is still the best mon.
IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE GEOGRAPHICALLY!
KAKORI IS A WHOLE ROUTE AWAY FROM VALOR MOUNTAIN YET THE ENTRANCE IS RIGHT THERE UNDER THE GYM?! FUCK OFF!
Maybe that obstacle course for idiots/Rangers actually is long enough to span the entirety of Route 5?
Don't mind him.
He's a known crack addict. He sees Ultra Beasts everywhere.
No. I said that as a "Be careful what you wish for".
YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF
When Sean complains about playing Rejuvenation or me.
Maybe this is when I found out about that multi-millionaire toy kid?
Past-Sean literally just said that. I'm starting to think Future-Sean is even less perceptive than present-Sean.
I just wanted to remind everyone that these Rift Pokemon used to be called Demon Pokemon.

XdDaipVm.jpg


And that's terrible.
Why?
I'm worried I might actually be a psychopath that's distracted himself with Pokemon instead of going about murdering people.
Do you even know the clinical definition of a psychopath?
getting me married to a lunatic.
Is that any way to talk about your darling wife, Little Dove?

Hilarious that I'm probably one of the people commenting for the longest time.


So hopefully the
demon yoyo
fight will go well.
 

Decibel575

Hidden but not so Hidden Lurker
Pokédex No.
487
Caught
Jul 12, 2019
Messages
143
Nature
Timid
Pokémon Type
  1. Fairy
  2. ???
Pokédex Entry
Legends say that you may find this elusive creature hiding in the screenshot section, roaming the Terribly Titled threads
Apologies for forgetting to give a proper comment last chapter but I was busy rereading your entire Reborn run.
As for the postgame, I would say it's pretty decent. Definitely challenging, and there are a few especially entertaining segments of the postgame that really stand out compared to the rest.
Unfortunately I have to replay the entire game again though, so 200 hours cus The endgame and postgame differs depending on what route you're on and actions taken throughout the game.

But all in all, v19 was certainly worth the wait. And I am curious how you will handle it with the Nuzlocke rules since those postgame battles are excruciating if you aren't using legendary Pokemon or items. Heck, I had to rely on Metal Burst sturdy Aggron and a Pyukumuku to get through a fair number of them.

Also, good to see that I was considered more of an enemy than a conveyer belt puzzle, back in 2020. Surprised to remember I've been here since before then actually.
On the topic of Ultra wormholes and the like, the others have already addressed it. I think so far we have three? confirmed fallen, however Looker isn't one in the original SM.
I think I feel especially bad for Ingo in Pokemon Legends though. Not only is he thrown somewhere without memory, but he's also in the past so he has no chance of returning home even if he regains his memory. Meaning Emmet is left alone wondering where his twin brother went to for the rest of his life. And maybe finding Ingo's outfit and stories about his brother in a museum if he's lucky.

I hope the yoyo fight goes well next chapter, but I recall something being said and I'm concerned it won't go well.
 
Pokédex No.
927
Caught
Oct 22, 2019
Messages
242
Location
In the library with many good books
Nature
Timid
Pronouns
He/They
Pokémon Type
  1. Bug
  2. Psychic
Pokédex Entry
A very small trash boy last seen clawing themself out of the gender dumpster.
Claude is the more neutral options, right?

More neutral and has the best overall goal for the people of Fodlan, yeah. Also he's absolutely the most entertaining of the three and has (most) of the best teammembers from the very beginning.
But yeah, having too many games is basically my existence 99% of the time.

Yeah I am not a fan of ANYTHING multiversal myself. Just fucking over-complicates shit.
Also I've seen that. Poor Ingo looks SHOOK.

Ingo IS shook and for many, many good reasons. NONE of which the game or postgame addresses, which means I might be an extremely angry nerd when the inevitable Unova remakes drop and nobody at GameFreak thinks to address the fact that they fucking space-time-napped one of the train dudes.

In V13 they call her in for an interrogation.
Which wouldn't have been possible in this timeline since she's currently in the past.
...
Also I wouldn't have let them. I don't want their masters to start going after Melia like every other group does.

OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE JAN. Melia is not interesting or compelling! She's one of the worst Mary Sues I've ever encountered and I've read the original Mary Sue fic. Which no doubt dates me terribly in a whole bunch of ways.

You may now give your thunderous applause for me killing democracy.

You know the series makes out like the Republic was the better system but the Empire didn't have canonical slavery. Just saying. I'm not one of those Sith apologists I think it just says a lot about Lucas' views of the world.

I've never played 11, it's right there on my PS4 but I just haven't gotten enough time to invest in a big RPG.
All the time I DID have goes to this fucking Nuzlocke and the others.

I did pick up 11 recently when it was 60% off on the eShop but fucked if I know when I'm going to have a chance to start it, let alone finish it.


:facepalm: I knew you were going to do that and I still set it up...

Crawli has been saved yet again by that fucking cave under his house.
IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE GEOGRAPHICALLY!
KAKORI IS A WHOLE ROUTE AWAY FROM VALOR MOUNTAIN YET THE ENTRANCE IS RIGHT THERE UNDER THE GYM?! FUCK OFF!

NOTHING IN THIS GAME MAKES ANY FUCKING SENSE!

Even if it was the original Zetta, I have very little care for anyone who just walks past me as I slide into an open volcano.

MOOD. Zetta is a prick no matter which version of him it is.

I'm not interested in seeing a fat guy getting a Big Mac knocked out of his hand and then he rips off his shirt in anger.

Granted, I'd probably do the exact same if someone fucking dared to knock food out of my hand on purpose like that.

Like, I wouldn't rip my shirt off, but if someone deliberately messed with my food they'd be having to drink their meals afterwards.

Still feels like I'm giving Jan an out on explaining intricate and nitpicky details like that...

Given the complete lack of quality in the game's story thus far, do you really want to give him MORE reasons to technobabble at us?


Still can't believe they went and stole the name of the second most well-known city in D&D/RPG gaming... If I don't get the chance to call Lord Nerevar a cunt then it's not Neverwinter.


*violent twitching* My English Literature degree side is screeching.


:love: Treats for Rose! Yay!


That's a funny way of saying 'realised she was the target of Ultra Beasts and ran out into the middle of buttfuck nowhere and almost got ganked by a boss when all she had to do was leave Alola.'

Wonder how he's doing as a Xen stooge?

Haven't seen hide nor hair of him since that swampland behind Sheridan.

Little shithead better be suffering. A LOT.

Sam had to put up with a LOT of Frodo's shit after all.

Yeah but let's be real, everyone knows Sam is the real hero of Lord of the Rings. He's the only one with practical skills, common sense and a family of his own to go back to.

But for the effort I put in, it's very disheartening to see some metrosexual dipshit with a dyed coiff of hair opening boxes and having millions of subscribers/views/dollars from it.

Or some valley girl selling make-up for millions of dollars.

Or that ten year old making 10 million dollars a year for opening toys.

Like...Jesus...he's already getting the toys on top of the money...could the world be anymore imbalanced?

Uuuuugh I know. These people are earning way too much money for being good at screaming at a camera. The only reason I don't hate them even more is because billionaires exist.

Why yes I DO belong to the 'when it all goes to shit we eat the rich first' party.


Oh come on that was only mentioned in X/Y, every other time he's turned up he's either had a Pokemon or mentioned having one. Him not having a team is an active hinderance on cases like this! WHY DOES NOBODY IN THIS GAME FUCKING THINK.

But why is she his boss?

Wouldn't it have been a better dynamic if they were partners solving a case together?

And how is she his boss when Looker was an Interpol agent in his original dimension as well?

^ THIS and thank you for being someone who gets it! Looker has the long-term skills and knowledge and we know thanks to Arceus that a Faller doesn't lose their skills, only their active memory. (Ingo is still ridiculously badass and I have gotten stomped by him so many times...) And Anabel might have been a good battler but running a facility does NOT translate into being a good investigator!

Nice to see Interpol doesn't give a shit about domestic terrorism.

So just like real life then.

I just wanted to remind everyone that these Rift Pokemon used to be called Demon Pokemon.

Bleck. I'd managed to purge that knowledge from my mind.


And on the back of that statement I sense a lot of future pain and suffering that could have been avoided if the ACTUAL OFFICER was running the investigation!

Look I'm never giving up on this stupid bit. It didn't make sense in SuMo and it doesn't make sense here either.


Wow you insensitive bitch.
 

Paradox Roxy

Phantasmal Chaos Writer
Pokédex No.
2262
Caught
Jul 29, 2020
Messages
21
Nature
Quirky
Pronouns
They/Them
Pokémon Type
  1. Fairy
  2. Ghost
Pokédex Entry
Snarky paradox writer.
OH BOY NOTHING BUT TALKING AGAIN
what is this, Red vs Blue season 1?
uMMpMKtm.jpg
uMMpMKtm.jpg


...

53Statpm.jpg
53Statpm.jpg


You sure?

That doesn't sound like me...
No, It actually does sound a lot like you. The only beings your nice too are yourself, your pokemon, and us dear commenters. (Also I apologize if my replies have all of the images doubled twice, I have no idea what happened- I just hit "quote messages" like usual. Or if it'll even show up like it is for current Roxy)
AWWWWWW. Warm feelings
here's a lot more worrying stuff they should be interested in but aren't though.
DEMON Pokemon are not very high up on my threat list since I've only ever lost the one Pokemon to them.
what about the Destiny Bond one?
Not unless they donate millions of dollars to my illegal charity that I steal the profits from, no.
Plus it's mostly the commenters I really care about.
The readers who never make their presence known aren't really on my radar.
YAY! I'm so glad I became a commenter. Sean is actually showing kindness! (and no saying it isn't, you literally just said you care!)
I'll forgive the insult that two members of Interpol are as intelligent as me, the world's smartest man but you are on THIN ICE.
Also do you really not see how incompetent they're going to be coming?
They're police officers in Aevium. They lost like 50 IQ points the very moment they stepped ashore.
If your the world's smartest man why are you a somewhat minor nuzlocker on a pokemon website and not a billionaire? And if you are one, why are you doing this run? Do you actually care about us?
Is she?
I don't know much about her personality at all to judge.
Could have been a manipulation to get me to spill the beans on the secret dream dimension that I use as a Hyperbolic time chamber.
She's one of the kinder people. And frankly, I think her amnesia made her a tad too naive.
I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A FUNNY LITTLE GAG! DID NOBODY LIKE IT!?
How does it look painful? I'm just walking while sitting on an office chair. No big deal.
I was really just poking fun about how I'm meant to be moving all these place yet I'm still sitting in the exact same spot.
No nonono, it's funny. Its just how it looked in the gif seemed like you were visibly having issues walking off camera. I got worried you had some kind of leg injury to be honest.
And who gives a fuck if you don't move?
ONLY ONE MORE CHAPTER FOR YOUR LONG AWAITED BATTLE!
And it's a long hellish one where I don't have any strategy available other than "whittle it the fuck down".
Yes, good. I think it's time you had a little pain in your life that doesn't involve idiotic plot.
SURE is lucky you happened to have a device capable of tracking a material you first received twenty minutes ago.

SOOOOOO lucky.
It's entirely possible that she's using some kind of psychic energy to lock onto the energy signature of the rift matter. It's been a few years but I think she actually has psychic abilities? Sorry If I'm incorrect.
Or she just...is syncing up the weird wavelengths of the rift matter to other weird ones?
As I'm writing this particular chapter, it's like Late-April 2020.
WHAT?! 2 years?!
....dear god what are you writing in may of 2022?
Guess my Puppet Master Rift Darkrai theory was wrong.
I still say that is cool as hell, I like Darkrai.
1gWPbaym.jpg


Hmmm...that's a good point, Rose.

And it was flattering towards me & Caesar!
she's Rose, she's basically you but a tad less simmering rage. and y know, armored axe face dragon.
And I personally don't know much about them either. The only ones I know slightly more about are the buff mosquito, the white cockroach and Nihilego.

And that's because there was a theory going around when Sun&Moon were announced, that they were Guzma, Lusamine and Lillie's Pokemon-esque forms respectively.
....I knew about the lusamine and lillie theory but GUZMA?! That's just weird, they don't even have the same color scheme.
Of course, I recently played a difficulty hack of Ultra Sun myself and actually enjoyed it so perhaps I'm being to harsh on Alola.

GALAR is the new whipping boy.

And it's really easy for me to dislike due to it being based on England.
The only reason I enjoyed Galar was because I played through all of it while in call with my best friend who was playing the opposing version. (I have Sword)
Did becoming a cop immediately drain away all the experience you got as a Frontier Brain?

nthfQGRm.jpg


Yeah well, my idea's funnier.
Ehhh....she was always a little off even back then.
Do radars even work underground?

To be honest I'm not very sure about how radar works.

It's essentially sending a electric pulse or signal and reading what it bounces off, right?
They work underground yea, as long as theres some kind of electromagnetic pulse and...well this place does have a giant lab and weird dimension switch crystals. Should work.
Wish I was Theoden though.

He was my favourite LOTR character.
WHY? Wasn't he the asshole king who constantly looked down on his younger son for being intelligent? Or was that someone else? I haven't read the books since 2016.
Well shit.

Was hoping this would take me lower.

Now I have to find something to rant about as I make my way through this cave.

And god damn it, I already used my go-to option on the floor above.
Rant about us then. You and I bicker enough as is.
There's almost a 0% chance you'll grow up with a normal name.

Imagine your parents calling you "Chili" or "Crasher Wake".
Ok no idea on the former but I KNOW Crasher's name is just his wrestling stage name. It's revealed in the manga.
I don't know about you, viewers...

But I'm fucking lost.

82pL9gwm.jpg


But that TM is found!

Not sure how I missed it the first time around...

But we'll chalk that up to me being too busy staring daggers into the back of Flora's head to notice.
When are you NOT lost? And did you even have rock climb last time?
It's not a very good move.

jV1hiLdm.jpg


Showmanship, huh?

I can respect that.
Why does Mist even EXIST? I don't play competitive, so my bad. And hey, your empoleon is just like you! a showman.
I remember finding him washed ashore with amnesia in ORAS where the Battle Frontier SHOULD have been, just like how Anabel was found.

So he's one of the "Fallen" like her?

z7IMJJ7m.jpg


Since he's an established detective saving homeless orphans in X&Y, that must come after ORAS.

Making the timeline of the 3D dimension; ORAS, X&Y, Sun&Moon and then Galar, right?

And the 2-D ones goes by console, GB, GBC, GBA and DS?
I would say something but everyone else has already told you, so I'll just leave this in for posterity's sake.
altPrwZm.jpg


The fan-game one?

Where it's a mixture of both 2-D and 3-d timelines?

Sy8gT9nm.jpg


And even then we're in some sort of sub-dimension because of the now non-canonical stuff that my run has.
Goes on a long explanation for how the multiverse works that extends into the late hours of the night, speaking about the butterfly effect and temporal time locks along with Omni-locks.
Maybe I'm wasting my time doing this Nuzlocke...

You see shit on Youtube that's absolute garbage getting millions of views and millions of subscribers.

Like the most low-effort shit that panders solely to kids. And the creators are making a fucking mint off of them.
Awww, but you have dedicated fans who enjoy you a lot more than those fools!
Because in the roughly ten years I've had mine there's only like...106 videos in it.
I think i've got about 300? Eh, 90% of them is mostly music.
I, 2022 Sean can't figure out what was going through 2020 Sean's head at this time.
Who can figure out what us from 2 years ago was thinking?
Hence, me saying "heebie jeebies" for the first and hopefully LAST time in my life.
Wouldn't it be the second time now?
As far as harm goes, these Rift monsters are pretty low on the Aevium food chain, Looker.

Well, MY food chain at least.

The last Pokemon I lost to one was my early-game Palpitoad, Decibel.

And hands up who fucking remembers Decibel?
raises hand
Don't call it an escape, Anabel! I can't be seen running from a fight! It's just not done!

We would be tactically retreating.

There's a big difference
Also called Escape button.
One implies a cowardly scurry away from the danger, while the latter implies luring said danger into a disadvantageous position and THEN killing it.
Something something past sean "I don't scutter I scurry" something.
Yes but the alternative is having the audience think an industrial treadmill is my worst enemy when I have way cooler enemies to choose from.

Like Madame X, Decibel575 or the Establishment.
Ok now I want to be on that list, you and I bicker all the time it's practically a meme.
But wait then you'd focus on me and I'd have to deal with that constantly....Fuck I wrote myself into a hole.
Sorry, but my U-C-K ending words usually start with an "F".

It's why mothers don't let their kids watch this show.

I did a count of the F-words a few years ago back in Part One and it was in the hundreds.

God only knows how high that number is now.
3,431.
Lady, I work with a bunch of teenagers who's romantic interests almost always focus on ONE blonde person in the group.

WHO the fuck else can I make fun of over this kind of stuff?
Yourself?
I hope it's hundreds and hundreds of soft Wooloo to hug.

Perhaps I'll be right!
This'll be good.
 

antingaround

Redemption arc
Artist
Screenshotter
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
228
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
189
Nature
Jolly
Pokémon Type
  1. Normal
Pokédex Entry
nuzlocke psychopath
The timeline once you get into GDC is veryyyy iffy, but they patched it up in v13 and I think I got it mostly figured out now. All the scene-changes and time fucky-wucky does NOT help comprehension though. And the fact that very real problems are getting sidelined by you getting some very nice HM moves that allow you to galvinate off elsewhere and do decidedly not-plot things.

Oh, the Darchlight Caves help quest fight is definitely.... memorable! It certainly works very funnily in v12, I hope you have fun 😉
 

Derogatory Trainer

The hero you don't need but you're getting anyway.
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
315
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
421
Nature
Adamant
Pokémon Type
  1. ???
Pokédex Entry
The most humble and modest braggart you will ever meet.
PhQBHvom.jpg


You know, Looker...

This is the third chapter in a row where I've started things in this office building.

At some point you guys are going to have to give me my own parking space.

engCNCPm.jpg


I dunno.

Breaking bottles and chain smoking?

What else do bored young people do in car parks?

d28scaWm.jpg


AND BACK IN THE BALL SHE GOES!

6NGa6Szm.jpg


Someone with access to a power drill, butane torch or a battering ram?

WthjZtzm.jpg


Or you know, some sort of magical animal that could do all three?

rZtnSBHm.jpg


Yep, I was right.

Rhydon CAN learn Flamethrower and Thunderbolt so it CAN feasibly do all three.

What a multipurpose Pokemon they are.

nb3L4SWm.jpg


Also I either need to buy a Pokedex toy or find my old OG series one somewhere in my attic to really make this prop work.

I feel like only edgelords would ask for a BLACK Pokedex off of the professor.

5ltCnaOm.jpg


...

And of course, upon hearing my suggestion of actually USING our magical monsters for more than cockfighting, Looker runs away.

xQAIUFCm.jpg


Wonder why this game never really makes use of the super-powered animals? Especially my ones.

Pokemon battles are very inconsequential in Rejuvenation, most of the actual conflict gets resolved by the super-humans after the emotionally gruelling battles.

Maybe Jan's plan was if Nintendo ever crackdown on this, he could feasibly edit the whole thing to cut out the Pokemon without really affecting the story at all.

SrpQ8kZm.jpg


Huh. They have their own conference room?

The GDC government is being awfully generous to these guys in terms of office space...

You'd think Cassandra wouldn't want people snooping around investigating these Rift beasts, no?

wfhkEHbm.jpg


Although she might be in favour since the only one we're going to be dealing with was formed from stolen Rift Matter?

RRuQnoVm.jpg


Goddammit....

I'm inadvertently doing Team Xen's work for them again.

CAN I JUST ONCE DO SOMETHING THAT ACTUALLY DAMAGES THE ORGANISATION!?

Feels like they've barely lost ANY efficiency even with most of their admins out of commission.

683ysoXm.jpg


...

Yes.

xwSw7ffm.jpg


That is now the official reason why we haven't seen them for pretty much this entire season.

Their organisation is in a shambles thanks to me be super amazing and they can't expend any more people to come after us.

3118cD4m.jpg

tyM72GDm.jpg


Alright Looker, calm down.

I personally don't care who it is as long as it isn't Crawli.

The fact that he was talked about a bit in the first chapter of this side-quest worries me.

xciQxGum.jpg


And not the person you called to sort out our door problem?

P6qoEfGm.jpg

ZZIsTw5m.jpg


"And that using our incredibly strong animals is also impossible for...uh...health and safety reasons".

QB8ZLJCm.jpg

Qbt0Lt0m.jpg


You got Hackerman?

maxresdefault.jpg


The most powerful hacker of all time?

celsK9Pm.jpg


Okay, not him then.

...

Did you just fucking call someone from IT to come have a look at this?

MpZg1JXm.jpg


You guys have your own helipad?

Wait...

You guys have a helicopter and decided we should fucking WALK to Darchlight Caves?

...

There's no fun to be had in this office at all is there?

YikPuukm.jpg


I...I know?

I can see him waking towards the door.

Can't say I expected he was the person you brought in.

PbAQqKfm.jpg


Mainly because I thought he was an electrical engineer and not a software one.

But then again he's friends with that manic mechanist Saki, so who knows what he's truly capable of?

uddF39Hm.jpg


Come to think of it, he's also the ONLY other person in the world who's beaten a Rift Pokemon by himself.

He just didn't defeat it because Garbodor's a cheating shit.

So Erick's alright.

0m5Te3om.jpg


He's part of my special club.

HIrX5mym.jpg

6JNMmYhm.jpg

spZXivqm.jpg


Well it all started many years ago when I grabbed a passing Talonflame during a shipwreck caused by alien clones...

The story only gets weirder from there.

pg9pGHTm.jpg


I know, I know.

"The mighty Sean? Working with the police? Inconceivable."

And it is.

uUvCsmom.jpg


But these guys did their research and filed a Help Request instead of asking upfront.

My obsession to "complete them all" has led me into yet another sticky situation.

HfFOwkam.jpg


Buuuuut let's just lie and say I'm a helpful and altruistic person instead.

gI6mt1zm.jpg


Yeah, I fought him for a gym badge and he killed my Claydol.

The prick.

I LIKED that Claydol.

FCllhr6m.jpg


That normally wouldn't be the case.

I have grudges with a LOT of people I've already been acquainted with.

Erick's just lucky that my rational mind can't really blame him for beating one of my Pokemon.

Most people USUALLY get away with doing that unless they kill one in a bullshit way.

...

Bullshit way being something like Veronica's team-killing or Narcissa's last ditch Destiny Bond.

110tHFTm.jpg

2frbEqfm.jpg


That's true.

Erick did his fair share of work during that ordeal so he can say that I just "helped" instead of "solved it by myself".

Nobody else involved can though.

dsDEWCim.jpg


The guy from CSI?

UnlD55dm.jpg


Who the fuck is coming up with these names anyway?

4OXBS2em.jpg


"Formal"

Fooorrrrmmmmaaaaallll...

I don't think that's the right word to use there. Especially if you're going for Latin.

Plus it'd have to be two words like "Corroso stinkus" or "Didn't beatus that Gyardosus because that was Seanus".

x29DPfVm.jpg


You know what they say, Nova:

"Gotta Catchy them all!"

T79parjm.jpg


...

jUtxxinm.jpg


Ooooooh thank god you laughed.

I might have died if you didn't.

Nobody laughing at my jokes is my Kryptonite.

9sArYrSm.jpg


You may all take a moment to bask in my benevolent kindness for not really having a choice in the matter.

daWJPCDm.jpg


Is it still in ORB form?

Because we didn't really deal with the whole gigantic explosion part of that thing.

Apparently just shoving it in a briefcase was enough for Melia to wipe her hands of the matter.

Like how do you even disarm a magic orb?

VDXyjcmm.jpg

G3KHyNfm.jpg


Believe me.

I really wanted to at the time.

I'm still holding out hope that I can.

uJbcCVom.jpg


It's going to hurt me somewhere down the line, Erick.

I promise you that.

In fact, mark my words.

5DD0r1xm.jpg


There will 100% be a scene in the future where that fat pile of shit bursts in to save the day. And everyone will go "wow, amazing, what is even the point of Sean?"

This game is infested with those scenes.

And I hate it.

8uCvgRqm.jpg


I wonder how my old pal Gabriel is getting on?

...

But not really. Nobody gives a shit about him.

OQMQFnam.jpg


What I really wonder what ended up happening to Sweet Sixteen Narcissa?

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Hey that was a TEAM effort by you and me, Zira!

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Hehhh...so you're going to try and use the ol' "There are no bad Pokemon, just bad trainers" defence YET AGAIN, are you?

Well if that's true...

Explain Chiller.

JGZuYEdm.jpg


...

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Carnage?

G09cEGlm.jpg


Oh.

c6yj3Exm.jpg


Victory for Sean and Chiller then!

BB6OJjhm.jpg

jsQ6rtmm.jpg


"Really cool diary" he says.

3mggmLlm.jpg


Did he put grungy band stickers on it while I wasn't looking?

Because 13 year old goths are the only type of people who'd call a diary; "really cool".

I've always called them "damning evidence" myself.

O77xi5Bm.jpg

zUQXn2um.jpg


And I decided not to share that information earlier because of this scene with Erick explaining it.

A scene that I couldn't have known about.

Hm.

P3yDf8om.jpg


Uh...

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yJsLcPZm.jpg


Did I photocopy it for him at some point?

'Cause I still have it...

Rcllkgdm.jpg


We were wondering if you had a Rhydon?

I know you're an Electric trainer but hey Rhydons are very versatile move-wise.

dOL6nqFm.jpg


They also look so cool...

If only they had better Special Defense...

And were just solely rock types so they'd lose the 4x weaknesses and make Solid Rock an actually worthwhile ability for them to have.

And don't get me started on how bad Rhyperior is!

pHSQ8oLm.jpg


Or that.

An engineering degree is a decent substitute for a Rhydon, I GUESS.

19EN5vHm.jpg


...

Is this what a world without public schooling is like?

All these young people with degrees in their teens?

Huh.

YWRPj1Tm.jpg


Oh?

What sources were those?

Do you have spies in the West-Gearan Power Plant or does Erick have that in his Chatter bio?

qGvr2FWm.jpg


...

Feels like he's the type to have that in his Chatter bio.

P13nnCTm.jpg


HAHAHA! YOU'RE GOING TO JAIL, LITTLE BOY!

THEY GONNA EAT YOU ALIVE!

aEmanQrm.jpg


Oh my mistake.

I forgot that hacking is pretty much one of the only crimes where if you are good enough at it, the government will hire you.

They're like the privateers of the 21st century only much easier to take lunch money from.

2UI7palm.jpg


Does that girl fucking seep mechanical knowledge from her pores?

That shitty Braixen mentioned learning stuff from her through fucking osmosis after all.

Is she like Melia but instead of creating shinies she creates math-literate Pokemon?

VJ3tw0gm.jpg


Yes but you're one of the few people in this game who wasn't born uber-amazing like the most of the cast.

Don't be ashamed that Jan didn't give you absurd starting stats like he did for the others.

MdDfnTNm.jpg


Probably couldn't afford her either.

...

K47qR8Cm.jpg


That being said I am getting slightly worried about her now.

Unlike Adam or Valarie, she's actually dangerous in the wrong hands.

And if her memories were rewrote to work for whoever's responsible for her disappearance...

YwasR3Bm.jpg


Well let's just say I'll need to buy a lot of anti-virus software.

And guns.

...

And headbands.

Can't have a robot resistance movement without a grimy headband wearing man in a tank top after all!

jCDB3vkm.jpg


You really need to work on your motivational speaking, Anabel.

"We've got no other choice but you" won't do wonders for the kid's self-esteem.

CdDAWK3m.jpg


We called you from over a day's travel away...

So that you could open a door for us.

...

Das it.

Welcome to Interpol.

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And unfortunately it's not made from the same steel they use in Goldenleaf where POISON moves can melt it.

...

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YES I'M STILL MAD ABOUT IT, AUDIENCE!

YOU ALL KNOW WHAT I'M ABOUT!

vkavUzBm.jpg

fIR3rthm.jpg


She also presumed that her 5'5 ass would be enough to rip the thing out of its hinges and then didn't bother trying anything else afterward, not even saying 'open sesame'.

Which is not a good sign for this new presumption.

mWxPDHtm.jpg

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Hahaha!

"Apprehend"?

What're we gonna do? Cuff it and read its Miranda rights?

We don't even know if it has arms yet!

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Of course,

In a land where dragons roam, time-travel is contained within crystals and groups of Inkay think they're from another planet, opening a slightly bigger door would be seen as miraculous!

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

2TnPqsLm.jpg


I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS DAMN PLANET!


7DgEeTKm.jpg


Can we take the choppa?

dj9Iut1m.jpg


Noice. Does it have speakers?

cyPic52m.jpg


Great! I'm gonna go get my Vietnam mixtape and then I'll be right back!

source.gif


DUN NU NA NU NAAA!

u2G2HpUm.jpg


I'm ready to lock and load, chief.

2fhWCwDm.jpg


Please don't question why my mixtape wasn't in my bag like literally everything else I own.

It was a thin cover for me changing my team in preparation for this fight.

dsSlnTBm.jpg


This is them.

And this picture is more for my own memory so I don't edit a Pokemon who's not in the current party into a reaction image.

B6n3oShm.jpg


Yes.

You've clearly been active in your preparations.

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I think you all know what song this link will lead you to.

I'm. being nitpicky but technically Galatian weezing creates thick fog, as well as those bullshit dog legendaries. As always great chapter Sean! See you next week!


Edit: almost forgot to say, I just finished playing a bit of Pokemon snake wood again, and Jesus Christ I remember why it's garbage.
Well yeah but Galarian Weezing didn't exist at this point. So the mystery of the fog will never be solved.
And next week is here! With a big ol' chapter for you all.

I never played it after 2016.
That ironically named "Island of Calm" really pissed me off so I just stopped.

Derogatory Trainer said:
And then I'll announce it's Rose anyway.
What're you gonna DO about it?
umm... check the results myself? I CAN do that you know?
Not if I use an obscure off-forum one!
That also gives me your geo-location again!


Derogatory Trainer said:
Zero.
The run ends RIGHT NOW.
...
Okay, I'm gonna need you to stop reading this run and never come back to check if I was lying about that.
I'm sorry, I physically cannot. You and this region are far too entertaining to ever stop watching anymore.
NO! MY LIES HAVE BEEN UNRAVELLED!
...
I mean...
Well done. You passed yet another of my confusing tests of character.
Your prize is any non-main character Aevium NPC of your choosing.


Derogatory Trainer said:
God do I fucking hate the V13 update though. I keep thinking about all the things I've missed and will never get to react for myself now.
The way I'm thinking about it, since you started so early your giving others (like me, who only joined during v12) a look at the early versions of the game, since it's not possible to do anymore with all of the updates.
That's a good point...
And I suppose it DOES give me a great amount of reason to say "Back in my day" and then make up some outlandish lie like our parents used to do...
One example is my father said he used to walk ten miles to school everyday.
The fucker lived across the road from it.


Derogatory Trainer said:
vcKeqkSm.jpg


Sup' Looker. Sup' Anabel.

Watching meme compilation videos on Youtube instead of doing work again?

Where every fifth or sixth one gets a mild chuckle at best?
Click to expand...
... is it bad that I'm slacking off on my final project for college while reading this run?
It's fiiiine...
I slacked off on MY final project while MAKING this run and I turned out okay.
...
So you got any crack?
I'm BIG into crack right now after dropping out of college because I spent the tuition on crack and Pokemon Rejuvenation.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I seem to form a lot of trios lately.

Triple Threat must be so proud.

jhL8Ulfm.jpg


NARRATOR: But Triple Threat was not proud since they hadn't been let out of the box since capture and doesn't even really know who Sean even is.

...

I bet most of you don't know who they are either.

It was that Dodrio Sean caught on Route 7 a while ago.

Click to expand...
I remembered, specifically because of your reaction to the Audino immediately after. I still laugh thinking about it.
hahaha.

Derogatory Trainer said:
I'm ready!

...

x263iI2m.jpg


You'll all have to pretend I did that in an excellent Spongebob impression.

I can't actually do one because my voice is too deep so just imagine it.
Click to expand...
... but how is your Donald Duck? (I know it's a random question but it's literally what popped into my head when I read this.)
I don't think I ever did a Donald Duck voice before...let me give it a try...
Ah.
Just as I suspected.
Absolutely demonic.


Derogatory Trainer said:
So...I've a question.

Looker.

He's from the Pre-3DS dimension like Anabel, right?

GBy7akZm.jpg


I remember finding him washed ashore with amnesia in ORAS where the Battle Frontier SHOULD have been, just like how Anabel was found.

So he's one of the "Fallen" like her?

z7IMJJ7m.jpg


Since he's an established detective saving homeless orphans in X&Y, that must come after ORAS.

Making the timeline of the 3D dimension; ORAS, X&Y, Sun&Moon and then Galar, right?

And the 2-D ones goes by console, GB, GBC, GBA and DS?
Click to expand...
Now I don't remember if this is canon or a theory, but I'm pretty sure that the Sun & Moon Looker isn't a fallen, but the USUM Looker is.

I believe the originals follow one timeline while the remakes follow another (USUM is considered a remake), which would look like this

timeline 1: RBY, GSC, RSE, DPPt, BW, BW2, XY, SM, SWSH.

timeline 2: FRLG, HGSS, ORAS, BDSP, USUM.

As ORAS takes place in timeline 2, the Sun and Moon Looker is perfectly fine.
Yeah, I looked it up and that seemed to be the case.
Didn't know that the remakes have their own timeline...that's interesting...
Also

Unbeknownst to Looker, the International Police had sent the woman as bait, since Ultra Beasts are drawn to Fallers.
Yeah...this whole Help Request was a fucking mistake and I never should have done it.
Can't wait for the hordes of Rift Pokemon to invade in the near future when obviously corrupt Interpol tries to take over the world.



Derogatory Trainer said:
Speaking on "leaving a like" do the people who actually do that as many times as those Shittubers say they should just have a ginormous "Liked Videos" playlist on their Youtube page?

Because in the roughly ten years I've had mine there's only like...106 videos in it.
Mine got to like 1000 before I realised it was more practical to put the video's I watch into different playlists. (Also no I'm not actually one of those people but I like listening to music so my liked videos are filled with them.
Jesus. That's a lot.
That's what I do to remind me to download that song later.
I'm one of those guys that only likes individual songs and not bands so I ain't paying for a whole CD.


Derogatory Trainer said:
9ECgdMtm.jpg


Wait, didn't you use to have a Croagunk? What happened to him?

Did he get left behind in your beautiful Pre-Gen 6 dimension?
Click to expand...
According to X and Y postgame...

It's dead...

So there's that.
RIP, I guess?
Wonder how it died?
In a shootout?


Derogatory Trainer said:
IIkPWd7m.jpg


Yes but the alternative is having the audience think an industrial treadmill is my worst enemy when I have way cooler enemies to choose from.

Like Madame X, Decibel575 or the Establishment.
Click to expand...
I'm honestly surprised no-name isn't on that list.
I specifically said "cooler" enemies, didn't I?
Decibel575 is on there because we battled once.
And if that was a Nuzlocke battle he would have killed most of the main cast bar Rose.

Okay, so to answer your Looker questions in order. The relationship between the Looker in ORAS and the Looker in the other 3d games is ambiguous and he wouldn't technically count as a faller because of difference in details.
Second, his Croagunk is just outright stated to be dead in XY.
and third, he was probably barred from promotion after a civilian was eaten and he was forced to kill the Pokémon that did it.
Also a correction the above timeline, RSE takes place at the same time as FRLG and HGSS takes place at the same time as DPPt
Dang.
3-D Looker's life fucking sucks.
Especially that part about the eaten civilian since Interpol didn't tell Looker that Fallers were like bait to Ultra Beasts.
Interpol is evil and I will expel them from Aevium once I become Champ.

Derogatory Trainer said:
You say all these things to hurt me but we both know you'd hate it if I actually WAS a Meliafag.
No I wouldn't. Also this you ?
So...you'd like it if I was a...
Oh my god...
You've been a Meliafag this whole time! YOU WERE GASLIGHTING ME INTO LIKING HER!

Derogatory Trainer said:
Gosh.

Don't you all just love Melia?

She is muh waifu 4 laif-
That was sarcasm.
I never say "Gosh" when I'm being serious. I'm not a devout Christian 10 year old.

Derogatory Trainer said:
I don't want Melia to actually die. I think I'd miss having someone to blame.
So you admit it!
That I don't want her to die?
Yeah, that's much is true.


Derogatory Trainer said:
To put our relationship in a nice friendly way for this era's obsession with pop-culture, She's Frodo and I'm Sam.

6swdpZZm.jpg

Click to expand...
While accurate, Sam DID actually care for Frodo, so this furthers my theory about your (kinda obvious) crush on Melia.
This is slander and you will be hearing from my lawyers.
"Kinda obvious" my fucking arse.

Derogatory Trainer said:
You happy now, Mr. Nitpicker?

oh4V8gzm.jpg


...

You bitch.
Click to expand...
Ceaser is still the best mon.
That will NEVER be official.

Derogatory Trainer said:
IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE GEOGRAPHICALLY!
KAKORI IS A WHOLE ROUTE AWAY FROM VALOR MOUNTAIN YET THE ENTRANCE IS RIGHT THERE UNDER THE GYM?! FUCK OFF!
Maybe that obstacle course for idiots/Rangers actually is long enough to span the entirety of Route 5?
So much so that it'd go under the OCEAN?
I don't think so...
Especially since Crawli's Gym Chamber requires you to double back a bit and jump down.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Don't mind him.
He's a known crack addict. He sees Ultra Beasts everywhere.
No. I said that as a "Be careful what you wish for".
CRAAAAAAAAAAACK.
Derogatory Trainer said:
YOU BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF
When Sean complains about playing Rejuvenation or me.
Okay, Rejuvenation is fair but did I REALLY bring you upon myself?

Derogatory Trainer said:
Maybe this is when I found out about that multi-millionaire toy kid?
Past-Sean literally just said that. I'm starting to think Future-Sean is even less perceptive than present-Sean.
Future Sean IS less perceptive because he's relying on his sometimes-shoddy memory.
Derogatory Trainer said:
I just wanted to remind everyone that these Rift Pokemon used to be called Demon Pokemon.

XdDaipVm.jpg


And that's terrible.
Click to expand...
Why?
I don't know why I have to explain it to you that demons are inherently edgy.
Pairing them with Pokemon is something a 13 year old with long black hair and Metallica posters on his wall does.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I'm worried I might actually be a psychopath that's distracted himself with Pokemon instead of going about murdering people.
Do you even know the clinical definition of a psychopath?
Psychopathy, sometimes considered synonymous with sociopathy, is characterized by persistent antisocial behavior, impaired empathy and remorse, and bold, disinhibited, and egotistical traits.
Phew.
I'm less than half of those things.
Looks like we're in the clear.


Derogatory Trainer said:
getting me married to a lunatic.
Is that any way to talk about your darling wife, Little Dove?
When she's in earshot? No.

Hilarious that I'm probably one of the people commenting for the longest time.


So hopefully the
demon yoyo
fight will go well.
Nah...a few have been around a longer while from back in the Reborn days.
At the very least, I'll always have Gaunt.


I does but it's a pain in the ass.
Apologies for forgetting to give a proper comment last chapter but I was busy rereading your entire Reborn run.
As for the postgame, I would say it's pretty decent. Definitely challenging, and there are a few especially entertaining segments of the postgame that really stand out compared to the rest.
Unfortunately I have to replay the entire game again though, so 200 hours cus The endgame and postgame differs depending on what route you're on and actions taken throughout the game.
IT'S FINE I GUESS.
Well. Something to look forward to then.
Did you got for Truth or Ideals then? I hear Ideals is the harder one to get.


But all in all, v19 was certainly worth the wait. And I am curious how you will handle it with the Nuzlocke rules since those postgame battles are excruciating if you aren't using legendary Pokemon or items. Heck, I had to rely on Metal Burst sturdy Aggron and a Pyukumuku to get through a fair number of them.
Well as you know now, the Nuzlocke ends once I get the Hall of Fame thing.
Seems a bit bullshit to complete the journey only to lose someone like Mako to a random lucky crit, doesn't it?
Don't...don't mention Metal Burst to me...please...


Also, good to see that I was considered more of an enemy than a conveyer belt puzzle, back in 2020. Surprised to remember I've been here since before then actually.
Well you did give most of the main cast their first taste of death defeat after all.
You deserve that spot next to the Pope and Madame X.


On the topic of Ultra wormholes and the like, the others have already addressed it. I think so far we have three? confirmed fallen, however Looker isn't one in the original SM.
Man...why did they need to make another timeline anyway?
Is it all because of the fucking remakes?


I think I feel especially bad for Ingo in Pokemon Legends though. Not only is he thrown somewhere without memory, but he's also in the past so he has no chance of returning home even if he regains his memory. Meaning Emmet is left alone wondering where his twin brother went to for the rest of his life. And maybe finding Ingo's outfit and stories about his brother in a museum if he's lucky.
Yeah it's super grim.
I never really cared about the characters but hearing about twins being forcibly separated always makes me sad.


I hope the yoyo fight goes well next chapter, but I recall something being said and I'm concerned it won't go well.
Ahhh...
It goes well enough...It was just an outright pain to battle since it hit hard, recovered it's own health and was a damage sponge.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Claude is the more neutral options, right?
More neutral and has the best overall goal for the people of Fodlan, yeah. Also he's absolutely the most entertaining of the three and has (most) of the best teammembers from the very beginning.
But yeah, having too many games is basically my existence 99% of the time.
Ah yes. He's the meme house. I understand now.
I think the worst is when you HAVE new games to play and you keep booting up the old ones instead.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Yeah I am not a fan of ANYTHING multiversal myself. Just fucking over-complicates shit.
Also I've seen that. Poor Ingo looks SHOOK.
Ingo IS shook and for many, many good reasons. NONE of which the game or postgame addresses, which means I might be an extremely angry nerd when the inevitable Unova remakes drop and nobody at GameFreak thinks to address the fact that they fucking space-time-napped one of the train dudes.
God I wish remakes could die a hard death already but those fuckers will never stop even if it's trash like Brilliant Diamond and Shining Pearl.
See you in 10 years for the Sword and Shield remakes.
They'll probably explain it away as him being from a different timeline or something.


Derogatory Trainer said:
In V13 they call her in for an interrogation.
Which wouldn't have been possible in this timeline since she's currently in the past.
...
Also I wouldn't have let them. I don't want their masters to start going after Melia like every other group does.
OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE JAN. Melia is not interesting or compelling! She's one of the worst Mary Sues I've ever encountered and I've read the original Mary Sue fic. Which no doubt dates me terribly in a whole bunch of ways.
Eh...the whole Melia-Sue thing seems to have dropped off in later versions when Jan improved his writing abilities.
She's nowhere near as bad as she was when I played this shit.
That was a Star Trek parody fic, right? Like she was making fun of the usual fanficiton people wrote about Star Trek?


Derogatory Trainer said:
You may now give your thunderous applause for me killing democracy.
You know the series makes out like the Republic was the better system but the Empire didn't have canonical slavery. Just saying. I'm not one of those Sith apologists I think it just says a lot about Lucas' views of the world.
That was mostly due to Hutt cartels though, wasn't it?
The Republic had outlawed it as well but was hampered by bribery and corruption.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I've never played 11, it's right there on my PS4 but I just haven't gotten enough time to invest in a big RPG.
All the time I DID have goes to this fucking Nuzlocke and the others.
I did pick up 11 recently when it was 60% off on the eShop but fucked if I know when I'm going to have a chance to start it, let alone finish it.
Usually I have to wait for some sort of injury or sick leave to get anywhere with games these days.
Still haven't beaten Elden Ring for example.


:facepalm: I knew you were going to do that and I still set it up...
Couldn't resist.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Crawli has been saved yet again by that fucking cave under his house.
IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE SENSE GEOGRAPHICALLY!
KAKORI IS A WHOLE ROUTE AWAY FROM VALOR MOUNTAIN YET THE ENTRANCE IS RIGHT THERE UNDER THE GYM?! FUCK OFF!
NOTHING IN THIS GAME MAKES ANY FUCKING SENSE!
I wonder if there's a fan-game out there that does...
What a dream that would be...


Derogatory Trainer said:
I'm not interested in seeing a fat guy getting a Big Mac knocked out of his hand and then he rips off his shirt in anger.

Granted, I'd probably do the exact same if someone fucking dared to knock food out of my hand on purpose like that.
Like, I wouldn't rip my shirt off, but if someone deliberately messed with my food they'd be having to drink their meals afterwards.
It's probably the easiest ways to start a fight with someone, I think.
Derogatory Trainer said:
Still feels like I'm giving Jan an out on explaining intricate and nitpicky details like that...
Given the complete lack of quality in the game's story thus far, do you really want to give him MORE reasons to technobabble at us?
Naahhhh you're being to harsh.
It's got SOME good qualities to it. The arcs just usually end pretty shoddily with "and then Crescent showed up and used her magic powers".


Still can't believe they went and stole the name of the second most well-known city in D&D/RPG gaming... If I don't get the chance to call Lord Nerevar a cunt then it's not Neverwinter.
Wasn't he an Elder Scrolls character though?
Why the fuck is that stupid made up name so common?


*violent twitching* My English Literature degree side is screeching.
Or "My English Literature degree side is yelling very, very, very, very, very loudly."
See how much better that sentence flows?


:love: Treats for Rose! Yay!
Good thing she gets a lot of exercise with the amount I give her.

That's a funny way of saying 'realised she was the target of Ultra Beasts and ran out into the middle of buttfuck nowhere and almost got ganked by a boss when all she had to do was leave Alola.'
NPCs...when will they learn?

Derogatory Trainer said:
Wonder how he's doing as a Xen stooge?

Haven't seen hide nor hair of him since that swampland behind Sheridan.
Little shithead better be suffering. A LOT.
Well Nastasia apparently bought him a skateboard so...
Yeah, I don't know what the fuck is going on there tbh.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Sam had to put up with a LOT of Frodo's shit after all.
Yeah but let's be real, everyone knows Sam is the real hero of Lord of the Rings. He's the only one with practical skills, common sense and a family of his own to go back to.
Just like me!
...
Except the family part.
Melia has one of those but not I.


Derogatory Trainer said:
But for the effort I put in, it's very disheartening to see some metrosexual dipshit with a dyed coiff of hair opening boxes and having millions of subscribers/views/dollars from it.

Or some valley girl selling make-up for millions of dollars.

Or that ten year old making 10 million dollars a year for opening toys.

Like...Jesus...he's already getting the toys on top of the money...could the world be anymore imbalanced?
Uuuuugh I know. These people are earning way too much money for being good at screaming at a camera. The only reason I don't hate them even more is because billionaires exist.
Why yes I DO belong to the 'when it all goes to shit we eat the rich first' party.
I'd probably change my tune pretty quick if Elon Musk said "Hey, I like your Nuzlocke, here's 10 million dollars".
The problem with the "Eat the Rich" party is that if things ever legitimately got that bad, they probably wouldn't even be rich anymore.
When things go to shit we should eat the politicians instead. It'll no doubt be their fault.


Oh come on that was only mentioned in X/Y, every other time he's turned up he's either had a Pokemon or mentioned having one. Him not having a team is an active hinderance on cases like this! WHY DOES NOBODY IN THIS GAME FUCKING THINK.
His Croagunk is dead but that doesn't explain why the fuck he doesn't have one.
Like there's a lot of unarmed officers in my country but the general population here isn't armed to the teeth like they are in Pokemon.
And even then Pokemon aren't the equivalent of guns. They do other stuff too.


Derogatory Trainer said:
But why is she his boss?

Wouldn't it have been a better dynamic if they were partners solving a case together?

And how is she his boss when Looker was an Interpol agent in his original dimension as well?
^ THIS and thank you for being someone who gets it! Looker has the long-term skills and knowledge and we know thanks to Arceus that a Faller doesn't lose their skills, only their active memory. (Ingo is still ridiculously badass and I have gotten stomped by him so many times...) And Anabel might have been a good battler but running a facility does NOT translate into being a good investigator!
Yeah it turns out Looker might have been held back by both his own guilt and Interpol itself for "letting" a Guzzlord eat a Faller like ten years ago.
When it turns out that Interpol were using her as bait but didn't inform Looker of how the Ultra Beasts are attracted to Fallers.
The web of conspiracy runs deep in Interpol...wonder if they'll ever be an enemy in future games?


Derogatory Trainer said:
Nice to see Interpol doesn't give a shit about domestic terrorism.
So just like real life then.
Real life interpol is mostly just for communications between police though.
They aren't actually a law enforcement agency like the one in Pokeymonland.
They're also vastly less funded than other groups. They get a 142 million dollar budget while NYPD gets 5.5 billion.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I just wanted to remind everyone that these Rift Pokemon used to be called Demon Pokemon.
Bleck. I'd managed to purge that knowledge from my mind.
WELL IT'S BACK.
ENJOY.


Wow you insensitive bitch.
I should start a support group for all the people who've fallen into lava.
...
I mean the meetings would be pretty lonely since I'm the only one still alive after it but hey.
Might get a cheque in the mail or something.

OH BOY NOTHING BUT TALKING AGAIN
what is this, Red vs Blue season 1?
Eh. Most of this finale bit of Part 3 is talking.
There's like...five mildly important battles after this, spread across 17 chapters.



Derogatory Trainer said:


uMMpMKtm.jpg


...

53Statpm.jpg


You sure?

That doesn't sound like me...
Click to expand...
No, It actually does sound a lot like you. The only beings your nice too are yourself, your pokemon, and us dear commenters. (Also I apologize if my replies have all of the images doubled twice, I have no idea what happened- I just hit "quote messages" like usual. Or if it'll even show up like it is for current Roxy)
Putting off dealing with Caesar's PTSD and whatever the hell is wrong with Chiller for years doesn't SOUND like someone who cares about his Pokemon's mental well being...
And I'm nice to SOME NPCs like Aelita. And orphaned children!
Oh yeah that happens for some reason. It does it when I write these replies too. Never figured out why.
No biggie though. I just delete the extra image.


AWWWWWW. Warm feelings
Now she'll never have to touch something made from a dead tree again.
Probably.
At least the Hariamazon Kindle is a lot easier to edit into photos than a bunch of books.


Derogatory Trainer said:
here's a lot more worrying stuff they should be interested in but aren't though.
DEMON Pokemon are not very high up on my threat list since I've only ever lost the one Pokemon to them.
what about the Destiny Bond one?
Destiny Bond one?
Only Pokemon I've ever lost to Destiny Bond was Scooby Doom and that was Narcissa.
But you did remind me that I lost Cybus to the Gyarados so I guess I'll have to go change that.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Not unless they donate millions of dollars to my illegal charity that I steal the profits from, no.
Plus it's mostly the commenters I really care about.
The readers who never make their presence known aren't really on my radar.
YAY! I'm so glad I became a commenter. Sean is actually showing kindness! (and no saying it isn't, you literally just said you care!)
I SAID "MOSTLY", DAMMIT!
THAT GIVES ME ENOUGH WIGGLE ROOM TO KEEP MY ALOOFNESS INTACT!


Derogatory Trainer said:
I'll forgive the insult that two members of Interpol are as intelligent as me, the world's smartest man but you are on THIN ICE.
Also do you really not see how incompetent they're going to be coming?
They're police officers in Aevium. They lost like 50 IQ points the very moment they stepped ashore.
If your the world's smartest man why are you a somewhat minor nuzlocker on a pokemon website and not a billionaire? And if you are one, why are you doing this run? Do you actually care about us?
I'm held back by my own genius.
That's my excuse and I'm stickin' to it.
I care about NOTHING but profit. YOU'RE ALL JUST PIGGY BANKS TO ME!

Derogatory Trainer said:
Is she?
I don't know much about her personality at all to judge.
Could have been a manipulation to get me to spill the beans on the secret dream dimension that I use as a Hyperbolic time chamber.
She's one of the kinder people. And frankly, I think her amnesia made her a tad too naive.
Oh well. I don't mind naïve people.
They contrast well with my cynical shit.

Derogatory Trainer said:
I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE A FUNNY LITTLE GAG! DID NOBODY LIKE IT!?
How does it look painful? I'm just walking while sitting on an office chair. No big deal.
I was really just poking fun about how I'm meant to be moving all these place yet I'm still sitting in the exact same spot.
No nonono, it's funny. Its just how it looked in the gif seemed like you were visibly having issues walking off camera. I got worried you had some kind of leg injury to be honest.
And who gives a fuck if you don't move?
Well yeah. It's hard to walk when sitting down.
Nah if I had a leg injury EVERYONE would hear about it, don't you worry.
My South American stunt man, Derogatory Trainer. (Pronucned Deroo-gat-ory Tran-eer) for one.
He doesn't get paid if I don't do any stupid stunts.

Derogatory Trainer said:
ONLY ONE MORE CHAPTER FOR YOUR LONG AWAITED BATTLE!
And it's a long hellish one where I don't have any strategy available other than "whittle it the fuck down".
Yes, good. I think it's time you had a little pain in your life that doesn't involve idiotic plot.
You fuckin' psycho.
Derogatory Trainer said:
SURE is lucky you happened to have a device capable of tracking a material you first received twenty minutes ago.

SOOOOOO lucky.
It's entirely possible that she's using some kind of psychic energy to lock onto the energy signature of the rift matter. It's been a few years but I think she actually has psychic abilities? Sorry If I'm incorrect.
Or she just...is syncing up the weird wavelengths of the rift matter to other weird ones?
I don't know...they make up some bullshit device to break the IMPASSABLE chest-high gate in the span of an hour so who knows what the fuck is going on in this convenience riddled side-quest?

Derogatory Trainer said:
As I'm writing this particular chapter, it's like Late-April 2020.
WHAT?! 2 years?!
....dear god what are you writing in may of 2022?
Theeeese replies.
And what I can of Part 4. 8/52 done so it's not looking good.
Most of the work on this in the last two years has been taking and editing photos.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Guess my Puppet Master Rift Darkrai theory was wrong.
I still say that is cool as hell, I like Darkrai.
I don't because of Tobias but the Puppet Master being one would definitely be a solid theory.
...
If this was ANY other game.

Derogatory Trainer said:
1gWPbaym.jpg


Hmmm...that's a good point, Rose.

And it was flattering towards me & Caesar!
Click to expand...
she's Rose, she's basically you but a tad less simmering rage. and y know, armored axe face dragon.
How DARE you say Rose is a monster like me!?
That's the ultimate insult to my precious baby!

Derogatory Trainer said:
And I personally don't know much about them either. The only ones I know slightly more about are the buff mosquito, the white cockroach and Nihilego.

And that's because there was a theory going around when Sun&Moon were announced, that they were Guzma, Lusamine and Lillie's Pokemon-esque forms respectively.
....I knew about the lusamine and lillie theory but GUZMA?! That's just weird, they don't even have the same color scheme.
I think they were throwing shit at a wall and connecting dots that weren't really there.
Probably only picked him because he's the only male "villain" in the game that isn't a skinny skeleton man like Faba.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Of course, I recently played a difficulty hack of Ultra Sun myself and actually enjoyed it so perhaps I'm being to harsh on Alola.

GALAR is the new whipping boy.

And it's really easy for me to dislike due to it being based on England.
The only reason I enjoyed Galar was because I played through all of it while in call with my best friend who was playing the opposing version. (I have Sword)
Perhaps if I play a difficulty hack I will like it too?
But I don't own a Switch so it's unlikely to ever happen.
That's how we used to do it back when I was younger. But my brothers could never keep up so I ended up doing it with a friend instead.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Did becoming a cop immediately drain away all the experience you got as a Frontier Brain?

nthfQGRm.jpg


Yeah well, my idea's funnier.
Click to expand...
Ehhh....she was always a little off even back then.
I don't think I ever met her in the Battle Frontier...
Mostly ran into that Seviper lady.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Do radars even work underground?

To be honest I'm not very sure about how radar works.

It's essentially sending a electric pulse or signal and reading what it bounces off, right?
They work underground yea, as long as theres some kind of electromagnetic pulse and...well this place does have a giant lab and weird dimension switch crystals. Should work.
Should being the key word.
Who knows how scrambled it'd get in this weirdo cave that has never been explained why it exists?

Derogatory Trainer said:
Wish I was Theoden though.

He was my favourite LOTR character.
WHY? Wasn't he the asshole king who constantly looked down on his younger son for being intelligent? Or was that someone else? I haven't read the books since 2016.
Definitely not since his ONLY son was dead when we first meet him. You're probably thinking of Denethor, Boromir and Faramir's father.
Theoden is hype, that's why I like him. He's got both of the best speeches and cavalry charges are cool.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Well shit.

Was hoping this would take me lower.

Now I have to find something to rant about as I make my way through this cave.

And god damn it, I already used my go-to option on the floor above.
Rant about us then. You and I bicker enough as is.
Ranting about commenters in the actual chapter is in bad taste, I feel.
And we don't really bicker. We discuss.
The only one I could say I outright bicker with is No-Name.
Because he's a shit who's determined to see his cursed MeliaXSean ship come to fruition.
He also spies on other people's comments like this one right now. Hi, No-Name! Please fuck off from here!

Derogatory Trainer said:
There's almost a 0% chance you'll grow up with a normal name.

Imagine your parents calling you "Chili" or "Crasher Wake".
Ok no idea on the former but I KNOW Crasher's name is just his wrestling stage name. It's revealed in the manga.
Ehhhh alternate timelines.
THIS universe's Crasher Wake's name is Crasher Wake.
Sean is actually my stage name. My real name is Derogatory Trainer.

Derogatory Trainer said:
I don't know about you, viewers...

But I'm fucking lost.

82pL9gwm.jpg


But that TM is found!

Not sure how I missed it the first time around...

But we'll chalk that up to me being too busy staring daggers into the back of Flora's head to notice.
When are you NOT lost? And did you even have rock climb last time?
Not all who wander are lost, Roxy.
I...don't know.
I don't actually know when I got Rock Climb...
It'd have to have been before the filler arc after West Gearan started, right?

Derogatory Trainer said:
It's not a very good move.

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Showmanship, huh?

I can respect that.
Why does Mist even EXIST? I don't play competitive, so my bad. And hey, your empoleon is just like you! a showman.
It could be useful against teams that rely on stat reduction? I don't play competitive either so your guess is as good as mine.
I think every ruler has to have a little bit of showmanship in him to be great.

Derogatory Trainer said:
I remember finding him washed ashore with amnesia in ORAS where the Battle Frontier SHOULD have been, just like how Anabel was found.

So he's one of the "Fallen" like her?

z7IMJJ7m.jpg


Since he's an established detective saving homeless orphans in X&Y, that must come after ORAS.

Making the timeline of the 3D dimension; ORAS, X&Y, Sun&Moon and then Galar, right?

And the 2-D ones goes by console, GB, GBC, GBA and DS?
I would say something but everyone else has already told you, so I'll just leave this in for posterity's sake.
👍
Derogatory Trainer said:
altPrwZm.jpg


The fan-game one?

Where it's a mixture of both 2-D and 3-d timelines?

Sy8gT9nm.jpg


And even then we're in some sort of sub-dimension because of the now non-canonical stuff that my run has.
Goes on a long explanation for how the multiverse works that extends into the late hours of the night, speaking about the butterfly effect and temporal time locks along with Omni-locks.
Eyes glaze over almost immediately and remembers nothing about the explanation
It's not like anyone can prove how time-travel works anyway. No point worrying about the specifics.
Derogatory Trainer said:
Maybe I'm wasting my time doing this Nuzlocke...

You see shit on Youtube that's absolute garbage getting millions of views and millions of subscribers.

Like the most low-effort shit that panders solely to kids. And the creators are making a fucking mint off of them.
Awww, but you have dedicated fans who enjoy you a lot more than those fools!
Yes but the problem is you're all to smart to fall for any scams I try and use!
THINK of how many children I could be robbing if I made an Among Us/Fortnite channel?

Derogatory Trainer said:
Because in the roughly ten years I've had mine there's only like...106 videos in it.
I think i've got about 300? Eh, 90% of them is mostly music.
I usually just download the songs and remove them from my like bar myself.
Derogatory Trainer said:
I, 2022 Sean can't figure out what was going through 2020 Sean's head at this time.
Who can figure out what us from 2 years ago was thinking?
Well I was probably thinking that I bet this Covid thing will spread all over the place and not just China.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Hence, me saying "heebie jeebies" for the first and hopefully LAST time in my life.
Wouldn't it be the second time now?
Saying stuff in quotations doesn't count as saying it.
Otherwise most cowardly people wouldn't get away with using racial slurs even when asked for an example of a racial slur.


Derogatory Trainer said:
As far as harm goes, these Rift monsters are pretty low on the Aevium food chain, Looker.

Well, MY food chain at least.

The last Pokemon I lost to one was my early-game Palpitoad, Decibel.

And hands up who fucking remembers Decibel?
raises hand
Well yeah some more recent readers would but the few like myself who haven't read back over this run in years wouldn't.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Don't call it an escape, Anabel! I can't be seen running from a fight! It's just not done!

We would be tactically retreating.

There's a big difference
Also called Escape button.
Any game with an "Escape" instead if "Retreat" button is an automatic 0/10 from me.
Derogatory Trainer said:
One implies a cowardly scurry away from the danger, while the latter implies luring said danger into a disadvantageous position and THEN killing it.
Something something past sean "I don't scutter I scurry" something.
Past Sean ALSO clarified he doesn't even do that since he's a cool guy who's never lost a battle.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Yes but the alternative is having the audience think an industrial treadmill is my worst enemy when I have way cooler enemies to choose from.

Like Madame X, Decibel575 or the Establishment.
Ok now I want to be on that list, you and I bicker all the time it's practically a meme.
But wait then you'd focus on me and I'd have to deal with that constantly....Fuck I wrote myself into a hole.
Sorry, only Decibel decided to take me up on my offer of a Pokemon Showdown battle with our Rejuvenation teams. He almost won too so he earned that spot.
Ahhh we're not that bad. I've bickered worse.
You're fine. I'm a really unfocused guy so there's nothing to worry about.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Sorry, but my U-C-K ending words usually start with an "F".

It's why mothers don't let their kids watch this show.

I did a count of the F-words a few years ago back in Part One and it was in the hundreds.

God only knows how high that number is now.
3,431.
...
Accurate or just a guess?
I feel like it's just a guess because nobody's insane enough to go through each chapter and write down the amount of times I said fuck.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Lady, I work with a bunch of teenagers who's romantic interests almost always focus on ONE blonde person in the group.

WHO the fuck else can I make fun of over this kind of stuff?
Yourself?
Oh yes, such a stellar back and forth that would be.

Derogatory Trainer said:
I hope it's hundreds and hundreds of soft Wooloo to hug.

Perhaps I'll be right!
This'll be good.
Why do I hear carnival music?

The timeline once you get into GDC is veryyyy iffy, but they patched it up in v13 and I think I got it mostly figured out now. All the scene-changes and time fucky-wucky does NOT help comprehension though. And the fact that very real problems are getting sidelined by you getting some very nice HM moves that allow you to gallivante off elsewhere and do decidedly not-plot things.

Oh, the Darchlight Caves help quest fight is definitely.... memorable! It certainly works very funnily in v12, I hope you have fun 😉
Ah yes. The classic "V13 fixed everything, shame you played past the rest of the game" bit. Never gets old.
Hey are you talking about my pre-GDC break? Because I NEEDED that.

Well this is like V10 or V11 so I don't know how bad it is in V12...
Because it's pretty bad in this one.




r7Hf6Gem.jpg


Uh no?

The door we're talking about is further i-

gpxnlKMm.jpg


...

Fucking hell, why are you idiots so hung up about this fucking gate?

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Item?

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WvGl6TBm.jpg

JiRyND6m.jpg

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OH.

OH REALLY.

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WELL GOOD THING THERE ISN'T A LITERAL PIT OF FUCKING LIGHT 4 FEET FROM THEM THEN HUH?

Z9Bl8Bjm.jpg


So it's a flashlight.

KXEMSrpm.jpg


Thanks for bringing a UV flashlight.

Ih806lam.jpg


God, I almost wish it was just a UV flashlight and NOT some high-falutin gizmo you pulled out of your literal ass this second.

T5LBqGKm.jpg


I'd have the strongest urge to jump off this cliff in protest against everyone's stupidity.

But that's a long climb back up so I won't.

YDDolsXm.jpg


Just know that I do it in spirit.

vm8HOaGm.jpg


I'd also just like to go on record and say a step-ladder would have been just as good to solve that problem.

2qOLrw6m.jpg


We could have literally just placed it on the gate and walked over.

But no.

We gotta go with "advanced piece of technology that disintegrates a magic cave's magical extra-dimensional material"

*Sigh*

P7aJWwEm.jpg


Just once, I'd like someone to solve something with a mundane answer.

Because so many problems in this game could be solved with a big enough rock.

sq4zDkHm.jpg


Jan should replace that "CALL" button that pops up during trainer battles instead of "RUN" with "ROCK".

And that give you the chance to end the fight immediately by beaning the enemy trainer on the head.

...

CsyayFym.jpg


Wait, is that CALL button even still there?

Fuck me, I genuinely can't remember. And the last time I actually remember looking in that cowardly corner of the fight screen was Version 6 like 4-5 years ago.

0ouNDXdm.jpg


Okay, I checked and it's gone from the versions AFTER the one you see before you now.

It's been replaced with RUN like a normal Pokemon game.

g3RI3LFm.jpg


I suppose it was rather a superfluous feature...

And the only time I actually used it was way back in the single digit chapters to see what it'd do.

I think it boosted accuracy or something? I dunno.

Hf5e0Atm.jpg


Anyway, let's have an F in the comments for the "CALL" button.

Soon to be/technically already gone.

...

qJVFa4ym.jpg


And also forgotten because who the fuck cares?

qzQVze6m.jpg


"WORK HARDER, NERD!"

MLPxTlrm.jpg


"US FIELD AGENTS HATE YOU SMUG COMPUTER GEEK FROM WHAT SEAN UNDERSTANDS OF COP SHOWS!"

PhoNqBHm.jpg


You nerds and your nerdy computer talk...

Say it in English, goddammit!

...

HS40JbAm.jpg


You can probably tell it's been like a decade since I actually watched a cop shows.

Do they even make CSI's anymore?

UElwa0Mm.jpg

lbz1Nu3m.jpg


Wouldn't just electrocuting the door be enough to open it at this point?

After all if it's opened electronically surely a big enough jolt would fry the circuits or whatever?

And THEN we bash the door down with a large enough Pokemon?

y7OlQTfm.jpg


AND YOU KNOW WHAT CAN LEARN ELECTRIC MOVES AND IS A BIG FUCKING RHINO MONSTER!?!

SsOL9WOm.jpg


I don't see the little hourglass icon on the screen!

WE'LL NEVER KNOW NOW!

w4I3aGMm.jpg

PVb2mNDm.jpg


Ugh.

Back in my day we just had to look around for a keycard or spook a talking Pokemon into saying "SIEG HEIL GIOVANNI!" for us.

How times have changed...

zA7g2Yqm.jpg


What, you ain't used to people breathing over your shoulder and watching you with absolutely no idea what you're doing?

I thought you were in I.T?

Or at the very least have parents born before 1980.

Because that's basically the same job.

weJLIUym.jpg


Literally the fate of the sidequest WORLD rests on your shoulders!

hYsAPZcm.jpg


No pressure though, bud.




YakO6YQm.jpg


Oh what, we're going to talk smack about him behind his back now?

Poor show guys. Erick's an okay lad.

He seems a bit lonely but I've been gathering those types like flies lately.

7q5jtj5m.jpg


Come to I think of it, Venam is the only one that HAD non-main character friends before I came along.

Unless Sariah and Ren had one of those tweenage romances before I got here.

God I fucking hope so. That'd be hilarious.

MkHFSwwm.jpg


Saki.

Or y'know, that leader of Bladestar we have in custody and could interrogate?

Why has nobody acknowledged that at all?

iDmCgG2m.jpg


It's a fucking door in an abandoned complex.

Nobody is going to stop us from opening it using other means.

So stop fucking dancing around and just go buy either a drill or some TNT if you're so opposed to us using Pokemon for this.

bQBVG58m.jpg


I think you should redirect it towards whatever the fuck is in here and not can we even get it.

Who knows what freakshow Flora cooked up in there.

VhaApbym.jpg


Only thing I CAN be sure of is that it'll somehow be able to scream slurs about Cassandra at us.

cu9yA5bm.jpg

Ztt4nerm.jpg


...

Sorry, that sentence short-circuited my reading comprehension for a moment but yeah.

I agree.

Let's just pump poison gas through the conveyor belt line instead and hope it isn't a steel type.

...

Or are we going to go with the classic; "force Sean to challenge a corrupted nightmare to honorable turn-based combat and then pat ourselves on the back for doing nothing"?

CBWCrFcm.jpg


I know I complain about cutscene bullshit a lot in this game but that's usually because it is bullshit.

8JeRxozm.jpg


A well thought out and pragmatic plan that DOESN'T rely on ridiculous magical girls and insane leaps in logic would be completely fine in my book.

nltQfqrm.jpg

Mq6lVN1m.jpg


Unless that thing figures out it can climb out over the conveyor belt?

It's probably too big though. They usually are.

Rift Matter is very bloating.

A2MEWaym.jpg


Yes, but the people holding the keys aren't exactly keeping it in there because it robbed a liquor store.

They fully intend to let it out when they need it.

So it's less a prison and more like a gun safe.

9Cv1AEkm.jpg


Of course you'd think that, you simp.

yzOdKyhm.jpg


That's a new internet term I learned today, boys and girls.

Today being August 7th 2019 anyway. No idea how long between writing and uploading the chapter will be.

Anyway, a simp is a person that puts themselves in a subservient/submissive position under another person in hopes of winning them over, without the recipient bringing anything to the table.

Example: Veronica, Kanon and Ren are simps for Melia. They donate fifty dollars in every one of her Twitch streams.

Q7WJadlm.jpg


I thought it was slang for simpleton at first.

Which I suppose it still basically is.

Next on my attempt to understand the new slang is the word "poggers".

I'm going to go out on a limb and guess it means "cool" like so many other slang words nowadays.

I'll be hip eventually, audience! Don't worry!

ZJ7iqKzm.jpg


Anabel speaking for the audience, probably.

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Jesus, something this minor keeps you up at night?

I'm guessing they don't have you two doing many homicides or anything like the fucked up shit I see.

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Let me get you an example from the abridged copy of my Book of worries:

yBnHkwFm.jpg


THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL THROWN DOWN A WELL AND ELECTROCUTED AND I WANT TO GO BACK IN TIME TO STOP IT.

7b9AXomm.jpg


WE LEFT MARIA IN THAT CULT!

GOD I HOPE TIME DOESN'T MOVE FORWARD BACK THERE WHILE WE'RE HERE!

3a6daGTm.jpg


VERONICA GOT TURNED TO STONE AND I STUPIDLY LENT HER MONEY BEFOREHAND!

Q6O7CYRm.jpg


MAMAN IS DYING OF AN ILLNESS AND I STILL HAVEN'T FOUND ANY CURE! I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHERE TO LOOK!!!


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Oh, here's Erick to break me out of my rant.

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Did you show those ones and zeros who's boss, son?

C6IXWsgm.jpg


Well...shit.

The fuck did that computer do then? And how do we get in now?

WILwnwgm.jpg


Are you deaf and stupid?

He said the fucking laptop computer that isn't anyway connected to this door SURPRISINGLY doesn't open said door.

qVS0sobm.jpg


Not even Anabel's amazing power of being as strong as an average woman?

That can't be...

tjOqm6Zm.jpg


Feminism said that women were all-powerful goddesses who can do no wrong!

FJq1m9Sm.jpg


Well that's what the tattooed, shave-headed woman with the psychology degree in Starlybucks told me when she got my order wrong.

zJnv8ytm.jpg


Yeah, I really should.

They're not exactly the type of people who make good life choices no matter what side of the ideological spectrum they're on.

piNqZyjm.jpg


There goes Anabel's shit prison monologue...

So how do we get that mutant freak to let us in then?

l2U1LfZm.jpg


Are you sure?

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I have a very persuasive fan-dance I've been saving this whole time an-

vgE91B7m.jpg

3COe9Wtm.jpg


Who happens to be referred to in green?

I WONDER WHO IT COULD BE!?!

eEERgWkm.jpg


NOT.

VERY.

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BUT WHO COULD CREATE SUCH A THING IN SUCH A PLACE WHILE WEARING SOME GHASTLY UNDERWEAR!?!?

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GHASTLY with an H, not Gastly the Pokemon, Rose.

gIZS6TDm.jpg

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Everyone quick, put on your sunglasses and resting bitch-face!

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"Hurr durr Cassandra Bad Me Good"

"But Also ME Suffer Brain Damage Thinking I Could Bully Sean Into Joining Team"

"Me Also Like Stripping In Forest For Some Reason"

e4xhmGEm.jpg


Jesus fucking Christ.

QauEdrhm.jpg


...

7iYuyKym.jpg


You dense motherf-

DO NONE OF YOU SEE ALL THE B'S!?!

CHXzz0hm.jpg


THIS LAB IS OBVIOUSLY RUN BY THE TERRORIST GANG, TEAM BEN!

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THE MOST SINISTER AND OBSCURE EVIL ORGANISATION ON THE PLANET!

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Who, funnily enough the GDC police have in their custody RIGHT now.

So let's go drag her down here and smash her face on that red window!

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OH! IF ONLY WE HAD A SYMBOL OF THE BLADESTAR ORGANISATION SOMEWHERE IN THIS BASE!?

OR IF THE SYMBOL WAS ONE OF THE INTEGRAL 26 PARTS OF THE ALPHABET!?

v7fAOQpm.jpg


Okay what stupid hint are you going to give me then?

4Vr3snem.jpg


...

Nothing?

Fine then.

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To hell with you idiots.

oDGWR4Vm.jpg


I've dealt with Fable 2 doors before.

This thing is nothing before my pre-2010 gamer might!

EdD9Ycgm.jpg


No.

Screw you game, nobody identifies Gym leaders by their badges.

Why would this thing know Flora's the Grass Gym leader and not just the leader of Bladestar?

My idea makes far more sense.

LGB69VOm.jpg


ESPECIALLY since I got this fucking badge from FLORIN not FLORA!

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(Also why the fuck are so many things in this game stealing my Rose's name?)

mYbCm4pm.jpg

GLbZY4mm.jpg


Ta-daaaaa~

oWcaEVtm.jpg

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Well Anabel, I decided to pump the required 20% of blood to my brain that you people seem biologically incapable of doing and realised that the biggest indicator of Bladestar....

Was a big fucking B.

G72DVSFm.jpg


And if that didn't work I was going to throw shuriken at it.

Or Blade Stars if we're being dubbed by an American dubbing company from the 90's.

7lDpJ9Tm.jpg


Why would I...?

Ugh...let me change that.

JElXSFum.jpg


There we go.

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Also accurate.

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CO-LEADER.

I feel like I should emphasise that.

The other one is probably going to be one coming after me pretty soon after all.

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Still not sure if it'd be to do that evil thing and thank me for getting rid of her only opposition in the group or get revenge because they had good synergy with Flora.

...

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Yeah I'm betting on the first one way more.

Much more likely than someone actually having synergy with fucking Flora.

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*chuckle*

I say *chuckle* because "Hahaha" is a laugh I rarely even do.

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OI! I liked his joke!

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Piss off you incorrect depiction of my feelings!

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Why? She's already in fucking jail.

And Florin's innocent.

He's too much of a goody-two shoes/he wants to bang Cassandra.

Which, honestly?

Same.

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We know.

I've already done so.

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No, we won't.

Nobody seems to fucking realise how I got her thrown in jail.

She isn't a problem anymore.

Not until she escapes at least.

And boy howdy is she gonna.

We're basically asking for it by trusting the GDCPD.

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...

Why?

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No seriously, fucking why?

Erick's not a bad battler. He's the only other person in the world to beat a Rift all by himself after all.

That gives him more credibility to deal with it than anyone else in Team Sean.

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Which, if you're interested Erick, you can be a part of Team Sean too.

We'll start you off at minimum wage like everyone else and see how it goes from there.

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I didn't say WHICH minimum wage, did I?

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You're thinking too close to home, my old and incredibly loud friend...

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I was talking about the minimum wage on Venus.

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Like really, the fuck makes your stupid ass more qualified than Looker?

You used to be a Frontier Brain but nobody cares about the Battle Frontier anymore.

It's been 17 years since the Hoenn one and it was never fun.

The Pokeathlon was more fun.

...

I liked the Battle Factory though.

Big fan of Pokemon tournaments in general.

Wish the games did one of those before the Elite 4 like they do in the anime.

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Again with that?

What EXACTLY happened in the Alola Region other than Anabel almost died?

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Muh pride.

Muh Prince of all Trainers.

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Wow.

What good co-workers and friends these two are.

THERE CERTAINLY IS NOTHING ELSE GOING ON HERE!

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WILL YOU TWO JUST FUCK ALREADY!?

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For the fight part? Sure.

If I don't, you two will probably (definitely) be brutally killed. So I kind of have to if I want to get my pay.

For the you two finally hooking up part? No.

I ain't doing no two dude threesome, thanks.

Ain't that into regular threesomes either.

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Each member of my harem will get my sole focus when their turn comes.

I'm just THAT good of a guy.

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Yes?

Did you really need to ask that question or did you actually forget why I'm even here in the first place?

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...

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No seriously, did Anabel actually forget why they hired me or did someone hit her in the head while I wasn't looking?

Did somebody find and press the 'ROCK' button at her?

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So we're just going to ignore what might be a serious concussion then?

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Alrighty then.

Business as usual in the Aevium region.





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Haaaahhh...

Fucking cops, man.

When I'm champ I'm banning Interpol from sending agents into this region.

I'll form my own task-force.

And they'll have a cool name. With the word "Thunder" or "Lightning" somewhere in it.

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Believe me, man.

It's better than what I get.

I do all the work and then get shafted to the side afterward. At least you don't have to exert yourself.

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...

We need to work on your self-worth, Erick.

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I shall make you my apprentice in all things egotistical!

...

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Except you're too minor a character for now.

So I guess I'll corrupt Huey instead.

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But first, another one of these info balls that make no sense outside a gameplay perspective!

Which as usual, we won't read until after to give that extra challenge.

...

Does anyone even care that I do that?

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With a name like that I'm expecting/hoping a Dimensional Rift Car.

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Oh my god...

Dimensional. Rift.

D-Rift

Drift.

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How could I have not seen this before?

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Oh.

That's disappointing.

It looks like someone stabbed a Beyblade with three overly-designed colourful pencils.

...

I hated the kids who got those.

Smug bastards.

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Depends on which moon we're talking about.

...

Because it's Ganymede.

The biggest one.

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Nah.

Must be the OTHER unholy mess you see in this room.

...

And if cared for lazy self depreciation humor I'd say it was me.

But I do not care about being a #relatable millennial.

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That's what she said.

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Which is what?

You keep mentioning these "threat levels" but haven't given a scale yet.

Like from "Sleeping Magikarp at the bottom of a river" to "THERE'S A KYOGRE IN MY SON'S KIDDY POOL AAAAAAH!!!"

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Yeah, I don't think this one is a parasitic leech like Garbodor was.

It probably won't shrink down into a handy ball that'd fit in a shopping bag...

Guess we'll have to kill it.

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Ugh.

Fiiiine.

I'll "weaken" it.

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I'm starting to think you AREN'T as big a fan of gunning down monstrosities as I thought you were, Anabel.

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Do Pokeballs even work on these things?

Do they count as Ultra Beasts due to the dimensional energy?

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And that's like...in the entire world too.

I'm a very special boy.

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On second thought...

I'm siding with the Rift monsters.

And then I push Anabel and Looker into it's non-existent maw.

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Luck?

LUCK!?!

LUCK!?!?!?!

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Thank you, Anabel.

Most of what I do relies heavily on luck so that comment is appreciated.

Now then...

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Oi, cunt!

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What comes after mi but before so?

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Aha, that's it!

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Now my crossword is complete!

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Okay, look.

This joke was terrible.

Like undeniably terrible. I am just so sick of this fucking chapter that I want to fill it with shit and get it over with already.

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THREE! MONTHS! REINHARD!

I'VE BEEN STUCK ON THIS DAMN CHAPTER FOR THREE MONTHS! WRITING ONLY SEVERAL SENTENCES AT A TIME!

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THIS CAVE THAT MAKES WRITING CHAPTERS IN IT SO FREAKING DIFFICULT!?!?!?!

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FIGHT ME, BEAST!

SO I CAN BE FREE FROM THESE DOLDRUMS!

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Oh it's a Ferrothorn?

Ahhhh...yeah. I can see it now.

Still...though. What type combination are they going for here?

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Heh.

Still can't get over how this opening line never changes.

"The ravenous beast whos home you invaded humbly requests a battle, kind sir."

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EUGH.

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Depending on how long ago this thing was created, you'd be right.

Ugliest one so far was that Garbodor in my opinion.

But I supposed eldritch goo wouldn't really make an already ugly Pokemon look any better.

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Hot cave field, huh?

And judging by the little...tufts? plumes? of fire coming out of it...

Rift Ferrothorn is either Fire/Steel or Fire/Grass.

The second one is a unique typing so maybe it's that?

Although it's only unique because GameFreak are a bunch of hacks and keep thinking we need even more Normal/Flying types.

Or god forbid...Rock/Ground.

No matter, Zira can handle this.

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It turns out I was mistaken.

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AND THE VERY FIRST MOVE IS A CRIT.

NOT A GOOD SIGN OF THINGS TO COME!

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But Zira's not out yet!

(And I was planning on switching her next turn anyway)

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SHOW THE WORLD THAT THE MEDICAL WORD FOR THIS MOVE IS HYPERTHERMIA!

OVERHEAAAATTT!!!!

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BURN UP AND BE PUT TO REST!

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Okay.

Okay.

OKAY.

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Little worried that a STAB and Field boosted OVERHEAT did abouuut...

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Total HP length is 1.5 cm and the missing part is 2mm...so 2/15...

Around 13% of it's health bar?

...

Fuck.

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Depends whether or not you like long protracted punching matches?

Or watching me spend nearly 100,000 Pokedollars worth of healing items trying to keep you guys alive?

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Well you're in luck!

Because you're completely useless in this fight since your full power attack did absolutely jack shit!

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You brave soldier.

Now return and let me figure out what to do next...

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Wow.

What a genuinely terrible team for fighting an overpowered Fire/Steel type.

Fuck that stupid informal rule about not reading the Dimensional Rift info beforehand. If I lose a single Pokemon this fight I'm not following it anymore.

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Okay on the upside, Reinhard has Dig so I could leave a cave quickly. Not really helpful right now but...there is no ending to that statement.

I'm pretty sure Roses know Brick Break since I'm not catching anymore Pokemon this Season and got rid of False Swipe for it.

Macross has it too from grinding off Audinos.

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From punching Audinos in their cute harmless faces?

I don't like it any more than you do, man but that's the quickest grinding method we have around here.

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Cooooool.

Now onto the downside of this team...

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Reinhard is phenomenally weak to this thing's Ground moves and what I'm assuming is that Jan original move "Slash and Burn" because it's too perfect for this thing to have.

It does both Grass AND Fire damage. Which would maybe get double stab from this thing's typing? Maybe?

SO big yikes there.

Another yikes is that no other Pokemon outside who I've already mentioned can do super-effective damage.

And it's 5 levels higher than most of us.

...

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This is gonna be a long one.

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Ah you bitch.

I was hoping for Drill Run so I could get a free switch.

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Damage on Bass isn't too bad at least.

Hmmm...

Hurricane?

Won't do much but it should remove the fire off the field, yeah?

And BoomBurst gets a boost in caves so that'll be handy.

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I probably would say that.

I wouldn't yell it so loud that the entire cave heard us though.

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HURRICANE BREAKS THE RULES

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La la la, ooh la la la, ooh la la la.

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Well...

It did what I expected at least.

Got rid of the fire.

Shame all that STAB move did was like...a single digit of damage.

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(There must have been SOME evolutionary benefit to having giant fucking ears on your head but I'm struggling to see it)

Yeah you aren't taking another one of those Iron Heads, Bass.

So here.

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Have a heal on me.

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I know.

I'm just such a loving and generous man that I don't charge my Pokemon for the healing items I can only use on them.

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So generous.

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213-132 equals...81?

Yeah, I was right to heal you. Fucking damage variables.

Show that thing the power...

OF BLUE HULA HOOPS!

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Did...did that do ANY damage?

I can't even tell.

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And another heal for you.

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Inside voice please, Bass.

And not just yet, we're gonna try Boomburst so we can get that Echo-boos-

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Yes, fine.

Try using "Boomboost", please.

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After I heal you again, of course.

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It'll run out of PP for that move at this rate.

Which is good for Bass, I suppose?

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DROP THE BASS, BASS!

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...

Huh?

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Bass, what the fuck was that?

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I MEANT...

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Ugh...

Well at least you get it without making me explain.

Give it another go.

At full volume this time, please.

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After yet another heal and Iron Head of course.

OF COURSE.

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Hooray.

Now please blow this thing's fucking ear drums off.

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WHAT!? WHY DID THAT DO EVEN LESS!??

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At wh-

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OH MY GOD!

FERROTHORN HAS HER AIRPODS IN, SHE CAN'T HEAR US!

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*Sigh*

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Yeah...I think you're done for now, Bass.

This thing is really laying into you.

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I feel like that's an undeserved exclamation mark.

With how this is going it should be like: "Bass, that's enough. Just stop."

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That's really easy to say when Steel type moves do 1/4 of their damage against your bulky ass.

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I don't think you can rip-off the word aerodynamic by switching aero for aqua, Reinhard.

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But do and say what you like.

As long as you soak this motherfucker.

...

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Oh wow, the move Soak would have actually come in handy here by removing it's STAB and making it weak to more ty-

...

OH MY GOD.

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I JUST GOT WHY SOAK IS ACTUALLY USEFUL NOW!

I ALWAYS WROTE IT OFF AS BEING SOMETHING WORTHLESS LIKE MUD SPORT OR WATER SPORT!

THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!


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Oh in your own time, of course.

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Okay, now I'm definitely SURE that's not a word.

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Well uh-

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Wow.

A super-effective move with a Stab boost did...

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2mm of damage.

The same as Zira's Overheat.

...

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Ooooh this is going to be an even more drawn out fight than I thought...

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At least it's down to 8 millimetres of health now.

...

The should really add numbers to the enemy health bar already.

I'm fucking measuring a picture on my screen like a dumb-ass over here.

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Yeah, yeah.

I'll let the other's have a shot at chipping this thing's health.

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I know for certain it's going to use Drill Run.

So give me a safe entry, Bass!

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Exactly

JUST. DO IT, BASS!

BEAT THE GAME FOR ME!

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WHAT?!?

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HOW THE HELL DID THAT HIT!?!

GROUND MOVES CAN'T HIT BASS! THEY NEVER HAVE!

HE CAN'T DIE TO SOMETHING LIKE THIS! HE'S BEEN WITH ME SINCE 2016! HE DESERVES BETTER!


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OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH.


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And I think I clenched my ass so hard my spine cracked again...

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I don't kno-

...

Oooooohhhh.

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The fucking Hurricane we used earlier changed the field from Fiery Cave to a Rocky Cave.

And there must be some trait in Rocky Cave fields that allows ground-moves to hit flying types!

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God, I am so glad Bass survived.

I'd be so mad at myself if my shit attempt at strategy had caused his death.

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Tell NO-ONE about that, alright?

And I'm sorry for not using you much.

You're a great Pokemon and all...

You were just unlucky that I got a Dragon starter.

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Okay, tactics have failed me yet again so let's go back to the tried and true method of using overwhelming brute force!

Can you all guess who I'm talking about?

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It's her, the Best Pokemon!

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Bug moves, Ferrothorn?

You fool.

Have you not learned anything from Crawli's pitiful attempt?

...

That you would have no way of knowing about?

...

FOOL.

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I assume this monstrous beast that's been locked in this room for who knows how long has read my Nuzlocke, right?

Monstrous shut-ins are my key demographic after all!

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But not you, my most favourite fan.

You're very special and popular and know that I'm referring to you and you alone.

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Okay...that did a bit more damage than Steamroller but still not much.

That's a good sign.

But what's not a good sign is that this thing is somehow FASTER than my Jolly Haxorus...

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Drop that giant floating black hand, Rose!

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Which is technically impossible for you to make since you only have three little talons on the end of each arm.

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But they're very cute little talons, if that helps?

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REALLY CUTE BUT ALSO REALLY HARD IT SEEMS!

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I don't know if it's because it finally knocked this thing down into yellow but that seems like a decent amount of damage, right?

Compared to what the other three were doing at lea-

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...

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Fuck.

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OH!

OH LORD WHAT THE FUCK!?

WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE A GIANT FLAMING YO-YO?!?

OH GOD AND IT FUCKING GAINED SOME HP BACK!


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WHAT WILL ROSE DO!?

ROSE WILL FUCKING HEAL THAT'S WHAT SHE'LL DO!

And then we'll see what comes after th-

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GOODNESS GRACIOUS GREAT WHEELS OF FIRE!!!!!

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...

The above image is AFTER I healed her to full.

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So on top of regaining health...

It gets an attack increase?

...

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Well that's just unfair.

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Just like how I won't get to kill this thing when we're done.

I'll have to hand it over to some shady international police organisation.

*Sigh*

This game needs more choices in it that tell people to just fuck off.

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Also Rose is getting the hell away from that thing.

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It'll probably try for another Iron Head so I guess I'll choose SazzleDazzle.

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Creepy she may be, she also resists all of the moves this thing can throw at her.

So she's a good choice.

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...

You're really not doing your reputation any favours by sneaking up behind people, Sazzle.

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*Cough*

And the only thing I want you to take is whatever that thing is going to use next.

(That or a bath)

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Mutated Ferrothorn that's also on fire.

This isn't even what it looked like during the first half of the fight.

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Nope!

Have fun~

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...

I wonder why Steamroller is symbolised with what seems to be a curled up Sandshrew?

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But hey, SazzleDazzle resisted it decently enough!

37 damage ain't bad for a...4x resisted...65 Base Power...Non STAB...move...

...

Ah shit.

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Black Sludge might help a little at least.

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And since I don't have much hope in her actually being able to beat this thing-

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-I'm gonna use her natural type defences as a chance to heal up the rest of the team.

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...

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And my plan is once again torn to shreds.

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I fucking hate this thing.

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Oh but THANK god for Black Sludge, eh?

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Hmmm.

Okay, it'll almost certainly go for Steamroller again.

Which won't kill so I can use this turn to heal someone else.

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Y'see?

I am a tactical genius at guessing.

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And since it sees another kill here with Steamroller.

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I'm gonna heal Sazzle back to full.

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It's strong and tough but boy it ain't smart.

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Iron head won't kill here so how's about I try an attack?

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...

The...the move hit, right?

Because I can't even tell if that even did damage.

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Reeeeally regret not using an Ability Capsule to switch Sazzle from Oblivious to Corrosion before this fight.

Would have come in REEEEALLLL handy here.

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But alas, this is still a blind run.

So my forward planning can only do so much.

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Well that was about 7 turns of Ultra Potions, 2 turns of attacks that did like 10HP each and an all-around waste of everyone's time.

Guess who's getting the fuck outta there?

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Congratulations! You are correct!

Your prize is getting to live!

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Calm down, Bass.

I have a plan.

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OF COURSE NOT!

...

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The scientific term is "PP Stalling".

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Stop being a baby, Bass!

This is what it MEANS to be a headliner for the group!

You don't see Rose or Caesar complaining!

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(Well okay, Rose is literally wearing a suit of armor at all times and Caesar doesn't STOP complaining but I'm not going to point that out to him.)

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Although fighting this thing would make anyone complain.

Bass is doing and absolutely infinitesimal amount damage for what he's taking.

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It can't have too many Drill Runs left in it at least.

I think that move only has 10PP?

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REALLY burning through the healing items I bought for the final arc of this season though.

Gonna have to make another pit-stop before I jump into any crystals.

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TOUGH IT OUT, BASS!

NOT EVERY BATTLE CAN BE AS EASY AS A GRASS GYM!

EVERYONE HAS TO DO THEIR PART AND GET THE SHIT BEAT OUT OF THEM ONCE IN A WHILE!

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Steamroller?

Great! It must be out of PP for Drill Run then.

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And it's weak as balls against Bass!

So all we have to worry about are Fire Lash, Steamroller and Iron Head.

But since it hasn't used Iron Head in a while it might be all out of that move too.

8mNrKLdm.jpg

H9GaQlAm.jpg

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That ain't good.

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And that REALLY isn't good!

...

But...I think we may be able to turn this to our advantage...

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Because I'm pretty sure special Dragon moves turn this field into...

alOugjVm.jpg

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Yeah!

Some kind of Draconic Cave Field!

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Not sure how much of an ACTUAL advantage that brings us though.

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I heal.

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He wheel.

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And he wheel again because I switched Bass in and this thing is apparently the fastest fucking Ferris wheel in the world.

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Let's see how it like a field boosted Dragon Pulse though!

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...

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Hooooooly fucking shit. I can't even tell if the Health Bar even moved.

WHY DOESN'T DRAGON PUSLE GET POWERED UP ON THIS FIELD!?!?

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AND THAT'S ALL IT DID!?!?!

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WHAT IS THIS THING'S TYPING!?!?

STEEL/STEEL?!?!

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Okay, Bass.

I think you've done all you can against this bullshit.

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Yes, yes. I mean it this time.

Take a rest while I send out my premier Dragon Pokemon.

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Oh don't pout.

You're still my premier Flying Pokemon after all.

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DO YOU ALL JUST HANG OUT IN A PARK AND READ THE PAPER WHEN YOU'RE NOT WITH ME!?!?

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HOW ARE WE EVEN TALKIN-

BAH WHATEVER! IT'S NOT THE TIME!

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It's time for Rose to have another swing at this Ferris fucker.

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A shame Dragon doesn't resist Bug.

Would have made our crushing victory over Crawli less sweet though.

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Alright, he got his two hits in.

Time to power up and finish this Ferris Wheel of Fucking Annoyance once and for all.

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No you're not, missy!!

I need to heal you back to full first!

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Because even though Rose is a one 'mon wrecking machine, this Ferro-freak's defences are beyond anything I've ever seen.

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So we'll play it safe.

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Goddammit it, now of all times?

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Whatever, it doesn't matter.

All it costs me is another Ultra Potion.

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And for Rose, that's not even a cost.

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Okay that's one.

Let it use it once more then we stri-

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...

...

...

...

...

...

...

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Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

"Yowch", she says.

As if she didn't almost die.

As if my heart didn't almost plummet out my ass, through the floorboards, through the ground, through the center of the earth until it gave an old Chinese man a heart attack of his very own!

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Uuuuuuhhhh...

Nuzlocking is too stressful.

I want to go back to Gen 6 where the broken Exp.Share makes the whole adventure a walk in the park...

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*Sigh*

She's fine though. That's what matters.

We'll bash it's head in for almost scaring me to death in a mome-

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...

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Well isn't that just the icing on the cake?

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Guess we're back to healing and trying to get a hit in.

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I'll do it twice in a row this time.

I don't trust that missing 9HP when Rose only just survived with 5...

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Okay, that's Ferrothorn's two free Steamrollers used up with no crit.

Maybe now Rose will finally get to put a dent in this damn thing.

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And she does!

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YES!

A fine hit!

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As fine a hit as it was, I was 100% right to be wary of this thing standing up to Rose's Swords Dance boosted blows.

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Can you keep going, Rose?

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Hah!

If only there were more like you, Rose.

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Huh...is it finally out of Steamrollers now too?

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OH SURE!

THANKS "DRAGON'S DEN"!

BOOST THE ENEMY'S MOVES WHY DON'T YOU!?!?

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Fucking field effects.

You just can't trust 'em.

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Don't worry.

We'll kick it's ass at the end of the chapter.

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Okay.

It's time to get outta there, Rose.

You did great as usual.

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Haha. Even you're worn down by this fucking slog of battle, huh?

Well don't worry. I'll end it soon.

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Now go, my terrible meat shield!

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WHY ARE YOU MADE OF PAPER!?

THAT WAS GRASS/FIRE MOVE ON A FUCKING FIRE/POISON!

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Yeah, I realised that after you said it.

Fire Lash is Heatmor's signature move.

I'm just getting REALLY sick of that "It's not very effective" textbox popping up after wiping out 201 HP.

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The more the merrier, Sazzle.

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The more the fucking merrier.

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OH JESUS, NOT A DEFENSE DROP!

SHE BARELY HAS ENOUGH OF THAT AS IT IS!

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Oh well at least Black Sludge recovered her HP!

ISN'T THAT SWELL!?!?

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Huh? What do you mean?

What rules could you possibly brea-

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Hey!

I DIDN'T CONSENT TO THAT!

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DO YOU NOT REALIZE HOW INCREDIBLY WORRYING THAT IS TO HEAR FROM YOU!?!?

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Ugh...

Guess it's up to you, Macross!

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Oh stop, it already used up all its Drill Runs and Iron Heads on the others earlier.

All it should be throwing at you now, is Fire Lashes.

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Yeah...

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JUST lucky you though...

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NOT "JUST" LUCKY YOU, VERY LUCKY YOU!

Now we don't have to deal with any switch in damage!

I thought that move was 100% accurate though?

Do they still have a chance to mi-

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Mother FUCKIN' Bright Powder!

For how small a reduction it causes, it sure does come in handy at the most convenient of times!

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A shame you're still slow as balls and will get hit by the next move anyway though.

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You know I could edit in effects for some of these attacks but...

I just don't care enough.

He got hit, that's what happened.

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...

Really wish THAT didn't happen as well though.

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*Sigh*

Now I'll probably have to switch him out for Reinhard or something.

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OR MAYBE NOT!

MACROSS YOU FUCKING LUCK MACHINE! WELL DONE!

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Hey, anything that makes this spinning little shit squirm is A-OK in my book.

I'm just very happy that this fucking battle is finally coming to an end.

So for helping hammer the final nail in this thing's coffin you get to eat as many Thunderstones as you want when we get back to the city.

Hell I'm in such a good mood I'll even rescind Zira's Tofu punishment from last chapter!

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What no, what are you nuts?!

They cost like 2,100 Pokebucks a pop!

You get as many as you can eat for two days and then it's back to the gravel and fridge magnets.

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THEY'RE GOOD FOR YOU!

IT'S LIKE FIBRE AND FRUIT FOR HUMANS!


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...

That may be part of it.

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But cut me some slack, Macross!

Do you know how expensive it is to feed all of you picky eaters!?

WHY CAN'T YOU ALL JUST BE EASY AND EAT THAT POKE-KIBBLE CRAP!?!

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SOMEBODY PLEASE TAKE THIS CAT OUTSIDE SO I'M NOT TEMPTED TO STRANGLE HER?

THANK YOU.

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I'm already going to be declaring bankruptcy from the amount of Ultra Potions I've spent in this fucking fight as it is.

Don't need that fucking feline putting any thoughts into the other's heads about 5 star meals.

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Good.

Let it spasm in paralysis as we end it's miserable life.

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*Sigh*

Okay as we end it's life NEXT turn.

This thing's durability makes Dimensional Garbodor's look frail in comparison...

Flora definitely knows what she's doing when making monstrosities.

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142HP gone and this prick tells me "It's not very effective?"

Ooohhh there's gonna be hell to pay for your lies later, Textbox...

Just you wait.

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OOOOHHHHHHHH!!!!!

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SWEEEEEETT CAROLINE!

DAN! DAN! DAN!

GOOD TIMES NEVER SEEMED SO GOOOOOOD!


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...

So how's everyone doing after that?

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...

This weird head in a circle thing was a mistake, I feel.

Let's never do it again.

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It does makes sense that only Reinhard's doing okay though.

He's the only one with over 100HP left.

Ah well.

We made it out of that warzone without any deaths and that's all that matters in the end.




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Now then.

Does anyone have a hammer?

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PISS OFF WITH YOUR >:( !!!!

THAT WAS A FUCKING AWFUL EXPERIENCE AND I WANT YOU TO BE MELTED DOWN INTO BEYBLADES SO WE CAN FINALLY STOP PRETENDING POKEMON MATTER IN THIS GAME AND SWITCH TO BEYBLADING!

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WELCOME TO BEYBLADE REJUVENATION FOLKS!

LET IT RIP!

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*Sigh*

Yeah you're right.

There were only two good things about Beyblade, the opening song and that brief time it was popular at my school when we played with them in the drain pipes in the yard.

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These things segmented the schoolyard by class (and to obviously help water drain in my very often raining country).

Good times. I even remember the illegal mods we'd put on the Beyblades.

My illegal mod was super gluing the eraser tops of pencils around the metal disc for...defence?

I can't remember my exact thought process there but it was pretty good.

Of course they got banned after one idiot cut his finger open after gluing the sharp parts of those 30c toppers (pencil sharpeners) to his.

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These ones.

After that it was Yu-gi-oh but that wasn't as active so it wasn't as popular so we went back to running around like maniacs.

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Well the feeling is mutual.

That was a long, annoying fight and has cost me thousands of various crypto currencies in Ultra Potions.

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IT IS A LITERAL WILD ANIMAL MUTATED BY A LITERAL TERRORIST!

IT IS BIOLOGICALLY INCAPABLE OF ANY EMOTION OTHER THAN RAAAAGE!

STOP FUCKING PITYING IT AND PUT IT DOWN!


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...

I DARE you to imply he's a wild animal to his face.

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His awake face.

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Ha. Knew it.

Real shame we don't have a wizard in our group to give you a backbone, eh Zira?

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Neither did I.

Especially not a form that looks like a fucking yo-yo.

Did Flora splice in some fucking Darmatian DNA when she was making this thing?

I've never seen any other Pokemon change form mid-battle!

...

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Discounting the show's evolutions.

...

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And Wishi-Washi.

...

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And Mega-Evolution.

...

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And Dynamaxong.

...

An-

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Just as well.

I've run out of examples I forgot about before I started this tangent.

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Glad we're giving this to your shady police overlords.

Really makes me consider killing the both of you right now so the secret doesn't get out any further than it already has.

Because as cool a future movie plot it would be, I don't want to have to deal with a horde of Rift Pokemon appearing five years down the line in some world domination scheme caused by you Interpol guys trusting your superiors.

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Nothing ever good comes from a policing force with it's own R/D department, audience.

It's a recipe for disaster.

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I can't do anything otherwise, Looker.

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It's my curse.

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Well take it off and we can use it to wrap around this disgusting satellite wafer reject so we don't have to touch it.

I ain't touching that thing with my bare hands.

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Also satellite wafers are the worst candy on the planet so I'm not tasting it either.

Any house that gave them out at Halloween deserved being burnt down.

...

By an unrelated third-party of course.

Not an extremely picky and vicious nine-year old.





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Yeah.

It's almost unfortunate none of my Pokemon died because now I can't get rid of the unofficial and unwritten "No Reading Rift Pokemon Data" rule.

...

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Except I can and I am.

It's in the fucking game beforehand so enough of Past-Sean's honourable "sporting chance" shite.

I ain't that man anymore.

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FROM NOW ON THEY SHALL ALL BE PURGED WITH A HOLY FIRE!

...

Except teaching Rose special attacks is stupid.

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So they shall be purged with holy talons instead!

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You're a good boy, Erick.

Let nobody but me tell you otherwise.

...

Because my opinion is the only one that matters.

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Funny how that's literally always the case, isn't it?

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Uhhh...no?

I'm not fucking handing more of them over to fucking Interpol.

You get that one and that one only.

These Rift Pokemon are a domestic affair that I will handle once I take my rightful place as God-King-Emperor-Chieftain of these islands.

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ANABEL!

WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR DEAL WITH STEALING MY LINES!?

ONLY I END THE CHAPTERS!

EITHER ME OR SOME SORT OF ABRUPT CUT!

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But always remember they know you're a hacker and can blackmail you into doing more slave labour for them at any time.

That's what shady government officials do after all.

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Don't thank them.

I didn't like the way she said "free to go".

I know it's just an expression but...

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A debriefing, huh?

Sure. I'll show up.

Might as well end this thing right.

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You really shouldn't have blown all your funding on the helicopter, Anabel.

It's actually really sad that you needed to borrow fucking Postman Pat's van to transport a vicious beast like that Ferrothorn.

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Hah!

As much fun as riding in the back of a truck with a flaming yo-yo monster that tried to kill me sounds...

I THINK I'll pass.

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Yeah, I'll wander over in a few hours.

There's something in that cave that caught my eye...

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...

Okay, what sort of helicopter did you BUY!?

Most can't stay airborne for more than 4 hours and it took me a DAY of train travel to get from West Gearan to here!

No wonder you're using a fucking mail company to help out! You must have no budget left at all!

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Please sing as many driving songs as you can to annoy Ferrothorn.

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See you, Erick.

Don't know where, don't know when though.

But I'm sure we'll meet again.

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Some sunny day~






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Yeah I'm never going to see that guy again.

Time to go check that odd blinking panel at the back of the Rift Chamber!

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Probably opens the rightmost door of the lab which will probably contain an unusual item like a Mega-Stone or something.

Speaking of unusual items...

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Estuans interius

Ira vehementi

Sephiroth?

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Oh wait, DARK MateriAL.

I was thinking of the Black Materia from FF7.

A game I've actually never played but somehow mistook this for an mildly obscure plot point in the game.

Funny how that works.

...

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What's also funny is that I'm just casually holding a solid piece of energy.

...

That looks like someone painted and glued a bunch of dominoes together...

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I tell ya, there must be an incredibly high rate of suicides among physicists in the Pokemon world due to how flip floppy the rules of the universe are here.

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Well either that or it's the most exciting field of research.

It's a toss up between that and biology I'd say.

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Can you imagine how thrilling/infuriating a Grimer would be to both a biologist and a physicist?

"X-RAYS FROM THE MOON BROUGHT A PILE OF SLUDGE TO LIFE! HOW THE DING DANG MERRILY ON FUCKING HIGH DOES THAT WORK!?!"

Chemistry and Medicine would probably be mad too.

Open wound? Mash a Sitrus Berry in his gullet and you're good to go!

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Oh good.

I was right about this panel doing something.

Glad to see that Max Repel wasn't wasted getting here.

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Imagine if this was just for the bathroom.

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Wouldn't put it past Flora to be that cruel to her Grunts.

She could even call it training.

"Dodge the flaming vines if you wanna poop".

And Bladestar being the uncoordinated doofuses they are, I can't imagine any of them got past.

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Which makes me even LESS enthused to find out what's REALLY at the bottom of those massive pits.

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Spoilers: It's po-

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-OH.

OH THAT'S NOT A GOOD THING TO FIND IN HERE.


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I-I mean...what an odd looking...

Uh...

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DDR MACHINE!

Yes!

I wonder why it doesn't have a screen!

Hahaha!

How are they supposed to know their score!?

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Clearly it's where the person would bust a move, textbox.

What else could this machine that I don't recognise at all because I never went to Reborn be for?

...

That's not a typo by the way, I meant be for not before, even if it would also work in that senten-

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NO.

WHO TOLD YOU THAT INFORMATION?!

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I...

I don't know...?

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I guess I must have accidentally selected the "replace all memories prior to this point with esoteric meta knowledge" option when I was filling out the trainer card application form in chapter 1.

'Cause I have no fucking clue how my brain or my body works at this point.

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Huh.

Didn't know she could write.

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...

People really need to stop leaving their innermost thoughts lying about for some miscreants like us to read.

I mean, it's extremely handy for me...but it's kind of pathetic that the leader of a criminal gang has less privacy protection than an 11 year old girl with one of those diaries with a lock...

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Maybe that's unfair...

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Some of those things have fucking VOICE detection nowadays.

What the fuck are those 11 year old girls hiding from us?

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"I will also write down the location of where I bought the materials, the names of the people who illegally supplied them to me, my computer password and the real names of all my workers"

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I said that as a joke but I genuinely think the cops in this world don't know what "evidence" is.

Or at the very least, wouldn't know what to do with this information.

They'd probably just write it all down and store it in a file and forget about it.

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Knowing this game and the bad guy's shared interior decorator she means ACTUAL hoops.

Remember how Indriad's sewer manor had a giant room of lava for a jumping puzzle?

I do.

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Not to detract from insulting Jan's work but Flora wrote an important tidbit down there.

The Team Xen HQ is in the Badlands?

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You're probably thinking "that was fucking obvious, Sean" but I assumed that the Badlands were that desert area and Xen HQ would be that evil volcano island.

Is that considered part of the generically named "Badlands" too?

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Unlike your incompetent bunch of weirdos whose base I'm currently standing in.

Might want to stop throwing stones from your glass house there, Flora.

The only defence your base here had was a fucking locked gate.

...

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This doesn't count as me accidentally defending Team Xen by the way.

I'm just insulting their enemy (and mine).

This is definitely not an "enemy of my enemy is my friend" scenario.

They're both groups of assholes run by two big cunts after all.

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Well if it's something this idiot could handle I should be able to just tapdance my way in.

Might even catch me a couple of those weird Galarian Mr. Mime evolutions to hammer the point home.

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And now the PokeAbuse begins.

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"Yeah so I found this pile of goop inside a terrorist headquarters, so I'm gonna feed it to my plant and see what happens."

"Remember to like, comment and subscribe if you want to see more of "Flora's Fucked-Up Floral Fallacies!"

"Oh and remember to hit that bell icon that absolutely nobody uses!"


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Because training your grunts and their Pokemon is an absolutely ridiculous notion.

"NAW MAN WE NEED SOME BIG MUTANT POKEMON! IT'S THE ONLY WAY TO DEFEAT THE MOST BUREAUCRATIC MEMBER OF TEAM XEN!"

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Is Cassandra even good at battling?

I can't imagine she gets much training in while running a city.

And it's not like her fellow admins are much better.

After Madame X, the highest amount of kills from JUST a Team Xen member is Sharon and fucking Eli.

With one. My old Mightyena, Yaxley.

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Flounder III died in a battle with them too but I put that death squarely on Veronica's shoulders.

...

And a little bit on Chiller's.

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As is normal when ingesting goop from another plane of existence.

And "immediate"?

Bitch, Anabel told me 15 seconds. Who am I to believe here?

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Hang on...

How EXACTLY does Anabel know it takes 15 seconds to act on a Pokemon?

...

...

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See THIS is why you never trust the police or government, boys and girls.

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Only trust in me.

A shifty guy on the internet telling you I'm trustworthy.

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I can.

It is.

Job done.

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"As long as those sacrifices are other people's" She means.

Flora's probably a big fan of needless sacrificing when it's not her life on the line.

Bet she uses that excuse that she needs to stay alive fulfil her dream or some other trite shit like that.

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But don't worry, gang! She feels BAD about it.

That makes her sympathetic.

...

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I'm guessing you all got the sarcasm there.

Probably just from how I usually call you guys "gang" when I'm being sarcastic

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It started skipping school and smoking roll-up cigarettes!?

Wearing it's uniform haphazardly and hanging around spaces between buildings?

I WONDER if this bad behaviour could be the result of abuse?

Like say, it's adoptive mother forced it to drink evil sludge?

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My.

How full of concern she is for it's mental and physical well-being.

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Is that particularly interesting?

Some Rifts are aggressive little shits like Gyarados and Chandelure but some are meek and let you get your affairs in order before you kill them like Volcanion and Carnivine.

Although Volcanion was a special case. It was the only Rift Pokemon I felt bad about killing.

Really wish I got to kill Garbodor though. Fucking thing only gets to survive because this game bends itself over for Melia...

And because I fucking mis-clicked.

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Well wouldn't you be pessimistic about things if you were a mutated freak?

I can't imagine the lifespan on these things being too great even without me roaming about the land and slaying them.

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And it's not like Flora to get easily frustrated, is it gang?

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But not just any scientist.

A shitty movie/TV scientist.

Where fields of research are just technicalities and biologist can repair satellites or botanists solve crimes in their spare time.

Ugh.

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'Lo and fucking behold, the fictional scientist was magically able to figure it out within a day.

We're all so happy for/want to kill him.

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...

Did you and this new recruit come up with this idea after binge watching some battle anime about Yo-yos?

Because that idea is so goddamned stupid it's swung back around into being hilarious.

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THERE'S ACTUALLY BATTLE ANIME ABOUT FUCKING YO-YO'S!

WHY!?!?

WHO COULD THIS POSSIBLY APPEAL TO!?!?


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Well that manga clearly appealed to Flora at least.

And is the movable layers really the best part about this idea?

Because to me, the best part is the image of Flora swinging a burning Ferrothorn like a yo-yo at people's heads as she marches towards the Judicial District.

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Like I'm genuinely upset that I stopped both Flora and that Ferrothorn now.

I would have loved to see such an irredeemably funny sight with my own eyes.

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You did?

That thing got hit by every single one of my attacks back there though.

...

Guess I should be grateful that Flora is incompetent.

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'Cause I just imagined that beast knowing Double Team on top of being an outrageously powerful damage sponge.

Not a fan of that.

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I wouldn't say the same about my fight with that thing.

Long, tiring and annoying but not particularly hard.

Like I did not have any real type advantages or moves to help me against that thing.

If it escapes police custody I ain't fucking going after it again without a shit-ton of Rhydon and Poliwrath.

Or at the very least an Electric type and a Pokemon that knows Soak.

That would have come in SUPER handy back there.

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What the fuck is a "draw"?

Those don't exist in Pokemon battling.

You either win or you do that second thing I forget the name of because it never happens to me.

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Wow.

Seems like a very impressive AI that totally could exist in Pokemon.

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Oh that's what she's referring to?

I thought it was just getting desperate when it did it to me.

What kind of fucking plan was Flora using that it though turning into a demonic Ferris wheel was a good strategy?

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Well that's true at least.

That freakish thing was freakishly fast.

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...

I wish I could see battles as dynamically as these in-game characters seem to do.

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Must be nice to live in a world where Pokemon battles actually look like they do in the anime...

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Well the later seasons at least.

The early ones had a lot of Pokemon just jumping up and yelling their name for five seconds straight.

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It's kind of nice seeing how much of a pain in her ass I am.

Can't wait until she escapes (because she obviously will) and finds out I beat up and stole her super-special Ferrothorn.

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I think I'm starting to enjoy Bladestar because it feels like I have them all to myself and fucking them over again and again actually does something.

Instead of Team Xen where it's all,

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"CURSE YOU, MELIA FOR BRINGING SEAN HERE TO DEFEAT ME" OR-

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-"HAHA, YOU THOUGHT YOU SET US BACK BUT ACTUALLY THAT WAS: PART OF OUR PLAN/WE DON'T CARE ANYMORE!"

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The lack of the rest of the main cast's involvement helps as well.

Looker and Anabel aren't great companions for it though.

I want more Dylan and Ana.

And I want them kept the fuck away from the main cast.

THEY ARE MY FRIENDS.

MINE.

MELIA HAS ENOUGH, JAN!

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...?

Like Shadow Pokemon?

Wouldn't call them an advancement...

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Oh?

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Wh...

WHO WOULD HAVE MADE A BOOK ABOUT THEM!?!

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Sorry, MANY years ago?

I assume she means the Team Meteor BEFORE Reborn Sean arrived?

Like in Solaris's heyday?

Because there's later side-quests in this game that would disprove it being MANY years ago since we meet some Reborn characters and they aren't that much older.

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And I think we all know what device that is...

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WHY IT'S OBVIOUSLY THE MUSCLE BRACE THAT ILLEGAL GYM LEADER A.J. INVENTED IN THE 8TH EPISODE OF THE ANIME WHICH WAS LITERALLY 23 FUCKING YEARS AGO!

WHAT ELSE COULD IT POSSIBLY BE?!?

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...

Well that's a gay name.

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Parasites don't amplify anything though. They drain.

A better way to explain this device is that it forces a Pokemon to use more power than is safe.

Like adrenaline rushes in humans where they become more powerful but it shuts off key functions of the body like digestion.

Or hell just liken it to steroids.

Those eventually cause organ failure much like the PULSE.

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"Turning them into unfeeling rage monsters that only know how to hate though?"

"That's my jam."

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OH.

OKAY.

YOU JUST READ ABOUT THE PULSE IN A BOOK AND SOMEHOW MADE YOUR OWN BETTER VERSION NO PROBLEM AT ALL THEN?

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DID THAT FUCKING BOOK HAVE THE EXACT BLUEPRINTS ON HOW TO MAKE THE MACHINE!?!

WHO THE HELL WROTE AND PUBLISHED THAT BOOK?!? WHY WAS IT IN AEVIUM!!?

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I'm sorry but it makes absolutely NO goddamn sense that there is a book just lying in a public library that details the exact construction of a device used by a terrorist organisation.

And if that's not the case and the book didn't contain that information...

How the fuck was Flora able to make her own? Let alone IMPROVE on the design based on a book about Team Meteor's exploits!?!

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A book that shouldn't exist if Reborn Sean became the Champion, due to him presumably destroying every trace of that organisation.

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I dunno how it works in this world though.

They said the events in Reborn were in the past...

So maybe we're not dealing with two different timelines at all and instead we're dealing with two dickheads calling themselves the Derogatory Trainer?

Or more accurately two dickheads named Derogatory Trainer calling themselves Sean?

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Yes, audience that's right.

Derogatory Trainer is actually my real full name.

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Think of it like Speed Racer. I was typecast into this role the day I was born, just like him.

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Anyway we'll work out the time-frames and whatnot at some other point, let's continue with tormenting myself by reading on.

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Oh whoop-de-fucking-doo for Flora the tech master everyone.

She just needs to hear the basic concept of a device and then can immediately create an improved version of it.

This bloody region and everyone in it being some sort of mechanical savants is really getting on my nerves.

Next thing you know, Venam will turn out to have been a nuclear technician this whooooole time.

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How very convenient for you.

I wish I didn't come back here to check this room now.

It was interesting at first but now I'm just pissed off at how she fucking found a book detailing a very illegal process in a goddamn public library.

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"We'll put a waist-high fence just outside the area before the cave entrance."

"That'll stop 'em"

...

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I don't even know why I even joked about that.

It DID stop anyone from coming in.

Because while the people in this may be tech geniuses, they certainly aren't in any other discipline.

Basic common sense or general inquisitiveness being the biggest ones.

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To release it on the unsuspecting public she means.

I have no faith in the woman being able to do anything right.

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...

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What the fuck is with people saying "goodbye" in their own diaries?

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Is that a thing diary writers commonly do?

Whatever. I've washed my hands of this place.

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Right after I've wired this thing to explode if it's used.

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And by "wired" I mean stuffing it full of cartoon TNT and hoping it explodes when the next person activates it.

I'm no tech whiz that can reprogram something like this at a glance unlike the rest of this region after all.

So I fall back on good ol' tried and true cartoon logic.

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I'd say we'll call it here for today.

Chapter's over.

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Uggggghhh...

This long-ass chapter that's taken me almost three months of stopping and starting to finally finish.

It was so difficult I actually finished writing the rest of the entire season before this one.

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Some chapters are just easier than others, y'know?

Doesn't help that my supporting cast for this episode aren't as fun as the previous ones with Ana and Dylan.

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Anyway, until next time.

...

Oh wait.

There's just one last thing...















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YOU THINK YOU'RE FUCKING FUNNY, HUH!?

ARE THESE KICKS NOT VERY EFFECTIVE TOO, YOU PIECE OF SHIT!?
 

No-name

Conqueror of the Goldenrod Gym
Pokédex No.
603
Caught
Jul 31, 2019
Messages
249
Location
Nowhere significant
Nature
Serious
Pokémon Type
  1. Fighting
  2. Normal
Pokédex Entry
Likes vandalizing school buildings and is quite proud of doing so.
So...you'd like it if I was a...
Maybe.
Also this you?
I've spent several hours documenting and comparing the various butts in this academy!

Because I've got to do something in my down-time or the depression will consume me!

HAHA!

I've even done the math to figure out who has the best butt in this one-ponyta town!

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...

This can't be right.

My math must be off.

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...

Nope.

It's airtight.

p8JUcZwm.jpg


I must destroy this.

The world isn't ready...

Oh my god...
You've been a Meliafag this whole time! YOU WERE GASLIGHTING ME INTO LIKING HER!
Kinda?
Okay, Rejuvenation is fair but did I REALLY bring you upon myself?
Yes. With your good and actually funny content.
That was sarcasm.
I never say "Gosh" when I'm being serious. I'm not a devout Christian 10 year old.
See the above quote about butts.
I don't actually know when I got Rock Climb...
It'd have to have been before the filler arc after West Gearan started, right?
You got it from Kreiss after you freed him from Angie's Church.
Ah yes. The classic "V13 fixed everything, shame you played past the rest of the game" bit. Never gets old.
Unironically true.
I suppose it was rather a superfluous feature...

And the only time I actually used it was way back in the single digit chapters to see what it'd do.

I think it boosted accuracy or something? I dunno.
It snaps Shadow Pokemon out of Hyper Mode.
Anyway, a simp is a person that puts themselves in a subservient/submissive position under another person in hopes of winning them over, without the recipient bringing anything to the table.
At least that is what it is supposed to mean. It has been bastardized to mean "Showing basic decency to women".
THIS LAB IS OBVIOUSLY RUN BY THE TERRORIST GANG, TEAM BEN!

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THE MOST SINISTER AND OBSCURE EVIL ORGANISATION ON THE PLANET!
There were the Evil Bens gathered by Vilgax and Maltruant so...
And they'll have a cool name. With the word "Thunder" or "Lightning" somewhere in it.
Does "Hyper Electric Rescue Organization" count? It's from the Japanese SCP wiki because yes there are foreign language websites for it.
(There must have been SOME evolutionary benefit to having giant fucking ears on your head but I'm struggling to see it)
Are you really gonna try to apply Natural Selection theory to Pokemon?
I don't think you can rip-off the word aerodynamic by switching aero for aqua, Reinhard.
I think the word Reinhard is looking for is "hydrodynamic"
The should really add numbers to the enemy health bar already.
Pokemon Empyrean does that!
But not you, my most favourite fan.

You're very special and popular and know that I'm referring to you and you alone.
Do you think a cheap parasocial trick is gonna be enough to convince me?
But alas, this is still a blind run.

So my forward planning can only do so much.
Until the bosses get shields, that is.
WHAT IS THIS THING'S TYPING!?!?

STEEL/STEEL?!?!
Steel/Fire
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DO YOU ALL JUST HANG OUT IN A PARK AND READ THE PAPER WHEN YOU'RE NOT WITH ME!?!?

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HOW ARE WE EVEN TALKIN-
Can you like telepathically project/speak to the PC or something?
DO YOU NOT REALIZE HOW INCREDIBLY WORRYING THAT IS TO HEAR FROM YOU!?!?
She probably does.
Nothing ever good comes from a policing force with it's own R/D department, audience.

It's a recipe for disaster.
Providence from Generator Rex did alright, most of the time.
I tell ya, there must be an incredibly high rate of suicides among physicists in the Pokemon world due to how flip floppy the rules of the universe are here.
Holding urge to make reference...
Is that considered part of the generically named "Badlands" too?
Yes
 

Sovereign One

The Supreme ruler that never does anything
Pokédex No.
4284
Caught
Apr 19, 2021
Messages
91
Location
In bed
Nature
Sassy
Pronouns
He
Pokémon Type
  1. Dragon
  2. Fighting
  3. Tough
Pokédex Entry
Doesn't understand sarcasm yet is quite good dishing it out, he always laughs at inappropriate times,
MpZg1JXm.jpg


You guys have your own helipad?

Wait isn't this city in a dome? How did a helicopter get in?

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And unfortunately it's not made from the same steel they use in Goldenleaf where POISON moves can melt it.

...

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YES I'M STILL MAD ABOUT IT, AUDIENCE!

YOU ALL KNOW WHAT I'M ABOUT!

Blah blah blah blah V13 changes blah blah Ren OPENS the gate for you now blah blah blah.

Not if I use an obscure off-forum one!
That also gives me your geo-location again!

Sweet, I've always wanted to meet you IRL.

Well done. You passed yet another of my confusing tests of character.
Your prize is any non-main character Aevium NPC of your choosing.

... If I choose Adrian will she pop back into existence?

I don't think I ever did a Donald Duck voice before...let me give it a try...
Ah.
Just as I suspected.
Absolutely demonic.

Well... um... it could of been worse?

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Anyway, let's have an F in the comments for the "CALL" button.

Soon to be/technically already gone.

F

Feminism said that women were all-powerful goddesses who can do no wrong!

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Well that's what the tattooed, shave-headed woman with the psychology degree in Starlybucks told me when she got my order wrong.

Have you been playing Pokemon Xenoverse?

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This was literally the only image I could find of her that would work on this site.

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Who happens to be referred to in green?

... it's red.

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Like really, the fuck makes your stupid ass more qualified than Looker?

You used to be a Frontier Brain but nobody cares about the Battle Frontier anymore.

It's been 17 years since the Hoenn one and it was never fun.

The Pokeathlon was more fun.

I seriously want to know how much flak twitter would give you if you posted that there.

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BURN UP AND BE PUT TO REST!

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Okay.

Okay.

OKAY.

I completely forgot what a pain in the ass this fight was until I saw just how much damage that did.

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OH MY GOD!

FERROTHORN HAS HER AIRPODS IN, SHE CAN'T HEAR US!

Was... was that a reference to Baby Pokemon Battle Royale?

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It's her, the Best Pokemon!

Is Rose morphing into you? I feel like her ego might be rising to the same level yours is.

Monstrous shut-ins are my key demographic after all!

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But not you, my most favourite fan.

You're very special and popular and know that I'm referring to you and you alone.

I'm so happy to know that you care about me and me alone.

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WHAT WILL ROSE DO!?

ROSE WILL FUCKING HEAL THAT'S WHAT SHE'LL DO!

And then we'll see what comes after th-

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GOODNESS GRACIOUS GREAT WHEELS OF FIRE!!!!!

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... Yep, a pain in the ass.


Is that a new haxorus image? it looks shinier.

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Because even though Rose is a one 'mon wrecking machine, this Ferro-freak's defences are beyond anything I've ever seen.

So going to xenoverse again, if you think this is bad you should take a look at the big bad of that game, which has defenses similar to this as well as five health bars.


so I had a mild panic attack for a moment there because sometimes when an move off type is used on a specific field it will turn into that fields type. So basically I thought Rose was about to be demolished by a newly formed dragon type move.

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These things segmented the schoolyard by class (and to obviously help water drain in my very often raining country).

Good times. I even remember the illegal mods we'd put on the Beyblades.

My illegal mod was super gluing the eraser tops of pencils around the metal disc for...defence?

I can't remember my exact thought process there but it was pretty good.

Of course they got banned after one idiot cut his finger open after gluing the sharp parts of those 30c toppers (pencil sharpeners) to his.

original


These ones.

After that it was Yu-gi-oh but that wasn't as active so it wasn't as popular so we went back to running around like maniacs.

That's actually really cool. Bakugan was what was popular at my school but I don't really have any stories to share about them (except for the fact that my supposed "friend" stole all of mine from my backpack one day, I'm still not over that).

Spoilers: It's po-

o2zcyJMm.jpg


-OH.

OH THAT'S NOT A GOOD THING TO FIND IN HERE.

uhh... I guess now's as good a time as any to tell you that Flora shows up in a sidequest in Reborn V19 to study the pulses? And from that sidequest we can tell that reborn and rejuvenation take place at least 5 years apart.
 
Last edited:

Sovereign One

The Supreme ruler that never does anything
Pokédex No.
4284
Caught
Apr 19, 2021
Messages
91
Location
In bed
Nature
Sassy
Pronouns
He
Pokémon Type
  1. Dragon
  2. Fighting
  3. Tough
Pokédex Entry
Doesn't understand sarcasm yet is quite good dishing it out, he always laughs at inappropriate times,
Pokemon Empyrean does that!
Pretty sure it only did that to the bosses, also please don't mention that game again, it's convoluted plot makes rejuvenation's sane in comparison.
 
Pokédex No.
927
Caught
Oct 22, 2019
Messages
242
Location
In the library with many good books
Nature
Timid
Pronouns
He/They
Pokémon Type
  1. Bug
  2. Psychic
Pokédex Entry
A very small trash boy last seen clawing themself out of the gender dumpster.
Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel, I made you out of PAIN

Oooooh boy. This title has Connotations.

Come to think of it, he's also the ONLY other person in the world who's beaten a Rift Pokemon by himself.

He just didn't defeat it because Garbodor's a cheating shit.

So Erick's alright.

Erick's better than most of the slackjawed morons in this region, yes. In that he's actually good at his job and helps out in ways more tangible than 'fucking existing' like Melia.

This game is infested with those scenes.

And I hate it.

We all do. What kind of shitty-ass useless writing... *grumble*


Which means he's very good at it but also liable to create programs that terrify and traumatise the mortal soul, much like Saki does for machines.


Oooo, this looks like a fun team! Several of my favourites on it! (Rose has single-handedly - clawedly? - made me love the Haxorus line.)

I think the worst is when you HAVE new games to play and you keep booting up the old ones instead.

Yeah, I have to admit that even when I have new games I have a bad habit of going back to old ones... Some games just kind of wind themselves into the brain like that.

They'll probably explain it away as him being from a different timeline or something.

Uuuuugh if they do that you'll be able to hear my enraged swearing from orbit.

That was a Star Trek parody fic, right? Like she was making fun of the usual fanficiton people wrote about Star Trek?

Yes, yes it was and yes she was. It's genuinely hilarious even if you're not that into Trek. (At the time it was written there were two kinds of Trekfic; Mary Sues and Spirk.)

Still haven't beaten Elden Ring for example.

I would LOVE to say I've beaten Elden Ring, but due to being stuck at my parents place STILL due to the bullshit going on with getting my unit fixed, and the tv I'm using being tiny af, I've not even really started it. And I really want to because what little I've actually played has been so much fun!

Wasn't he an Elder Scrolls character though?
Why the fuck is that stupid made up name so common?

Both, apparently. I was wondering why my brain kept going "Nerevar Moon And Star" over and over. Man I wish the people doing the Skywind mod would hurry up and finish, Morrowind in the Skyrim engine sounds like exactly the kind of Elder Scrolls crack I need in my life.

When things go to shit we should eat the politicians instead. It'll no doubt be their fault.

Yeah maybe but they're all actively evil fuckers instead of corporate evil fuckers.

Just once, I'd like someone to solve something with a mundane answer.

Because so many problems in this game could be solved with a big enough rock.

And there's so many adorable little death machines who could summon those rocks for you.

Or y'know, that leader of Bladestar we have in custody and could interrogate?

Why has nobody acknowledged that at all?

Logic, this game has none.

Yes, but the people holding the keys aren't exactly keeping it in there because it robbed a liquor store.

*facepalms at this entire exchange* It's not a prison, Anabel, it's STORAGE. DEADLY RIFT CREATURE STORAGE. THAT'S WHY WE'RE HERE.

They're not exactly the type of people who make good life choices no matter what side of the ideological spectrum they're on.

So true... Although honestly anyone who shaves their head for any reason beyond advancing baldness is generally bad news.


I DON'T KNOW WHY DON'T YOU ASK THE DUMBASS IN PRISON.


*SNRK* Okay that one made me laugh! Nice one, Erick.


Why is she his superior she is a friggin' idiot


Savage, Looker. Keep it up!

When I'm champ I'm banning Interpol from sending agents into this region.

Given that Anabel is an idiot, Looker is a simp and Crawli needs to be executed, entirely fair.


Erick you have already proven yourself more useful than 99.9999% of the cast of this game.


Oh good lord I haven't seen Initial D since the late 90s. How is this still in my brain?


Dafuq is that?!


GAH! Dafuq is a wrecking ball apparently!


Sorry Zira but no, no it is not. It's going to be a really bad day to be you.

Fuck that stupid informal rule about not reading the Dimensional Rift info beforehand. If I lose a single Pokemon this fight I'm not following it anymore.

Fuck that rule full stop, this battle was an absolute travesty of game design. There's nothing fun about battles where the only option is to continuously heal and plug away until finally the chip damage does it in. I play fucking Elder Scrolls Online and I think this is the most ridiculous shit, and that game has enemies and events designed for up to 50 players that you can accidentally run headfirst into from LEVEL 3.

Go on, ask me how I found out. Fucking Harrowstorms...


AUGH!


Oh what fresh hell is this, this reminds me of nothing so much as endgame fights in White Knight Chronicles. (Still can't believe I managed to actually beat that game...)

Reeeeally regret not using an Ability Capsule to switch Sazzle from Oblivious to Corrosion before this fight.

I mean honestly you should've anyway, Oblivious is situational at best and Corrosion is hilarious.


STOP GIVING ME HEART ATTACKS GAME CHRIST


Oh no, poor Rose! Someone find the flour, I need to make all the cookies for her STAT!


THIS IS WHAT I MEAN ABOUT BULLSHIT FIGHTS I HATE THESE FIGHTS SO MUCH

SWEEEEEETT CAROLINE!

DAN! DAN! DAN!

GOOD TIMES NEVER SEEMED SO GOOOOOOD!


We made it out of that warzone without any deaths and that's all that matters in the end.

Still doesn't make such a stupid bullshit fight any better. I hate this particular bit of fangame design SO MUCH.

Nothing ever good comes from a policing force with it's own R/D department, audience.

Quoted for Truth.

It's in the fucking game beforehand so enough of Past-Sean's honourable "sporting chance" shite.

Sporting Chances are for losers. Break them over your knee!


Erick continues to be amazing.

"X-RAYS FROM THE MOON BROUGHT A PILE OF SLUDGE TO LIFE! HOW THE DING DANG MERRILY ON FUCKING HIGH DOES THAT WORK!?!"

Oh to be a fly on the wall of a Pokemon Biologist's lab.


Nope nope nope NOPE NOPE NOPE!


Fuck you, you animal abusing little bitch.

WHO COULD THIS POSSIBLY APPEAL TO!?!?

Apparently masochists like me because I'm absolutely looking this up because it looks so insane I simply must!


Flora... Flora he's going to kill you and you'll absolutely deserve every second of the excrutiating pain.


Oh you lying hypocritical cunt.
 

Time Master Eon

Conqueror of the Blackthorn Gym
Screenshotter
Pokédex No.
398
Caught
Jul 6, 2019
Messages
476
Location
A place beyond space and time
Nature
Lax
Pronouns
He/Him
Pokémon Type
  1. Bug
  2. Fighting
Pokédex Entry
This Pokemon switches rapidly between passion and apathy
The point of having very large ears is to say very far away from anything that could hurt your very sensitive head.
 

Paradox Roxy

Phantasmal Chaos Writer
Pokédex No.
2262
Caught
Jul 29, 2020
Messages
21
Nature
Quirky
Pronouns
They/Them
Pokémon Type
  1. Fairy
  2. Ghost
Pokédex Entry
Snarky paradox writer.
Honestly I'm just glad to see Erick again. now, to the bloodletting! by which i mean my replies. Fl4k has corrupted me
jUtxxinm.jpg
jUtxxinm.jpg


Ooooooh thank god you laughed.

I might have died if you didn't.

Nobody laughing at my jokes is my Kryptonite.
Admittedly I have a weird sense of humor so I just smirk and giggle- I can only laugh like that sometimes.
Explain Chiller.

JGZuYEdm.jpg
JGZuYEdm.jpg


...

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r2BQW5cm.jpg


Carnage?
Chiller bluntly terrifies me and I do not like how creepy he is.
Yes but you're one of the few people in this game who wasn't born uber-amazing like the most of the cast.

Don't be ashamed that Jan didn't give you absurd starting stats like he did for the others.
He's the only sane one in my opinion.
YES I'M STILL MAD ABOUT IT, AUDIENCE!

YOU ALL KNOW WHAT I'M ABOUT!
I legit forget that scene, was it Acid or some kind of corrosive attack if any attack was mentioned? and how much got melted? because acid is like designed to melt steel.
It was a thin cover for me changing my team in preparation for this fight.

dsSlnTBm.jpg
dsSlnTBm.jpg


This is them.
This seems.....really good? Why is Zira hurt? (was it for the snide comments?)
Putting off dealing with Caesar's PTSD and whatever the hell is wrong with Chiller for years doesn't SOUND like someone who cares about his Pokemon's mental well being...
And I'm nice to SOME NPCs like Aelita. And orphaned children!
Oh yeah that happens for some reason. It does it when I write these replies too. Never figured out why.
No biggie though. I just delete the extra image.
You care about them in a way THAT A TRAINER CARES FOR THEM. PTSD and...Chiller....are not things normal people can do. Unless you have a psychology major/minor like I do, would not recommend it. (I've got a minor in it.
Only Pokemon I've ever lost to Destiny Bond was Scooby Doom and that was Narcissa.
But you did remind me that I lost Cybus to the Gyarados so I guess I'll have to go change that.
Yay? I reminded you of something sad?
You fuckin' psycho.
It's called sadism and would you prefer pain and suffering from the plot WHICH YOU CANNOT CONTROL or pain and suffering you at least have some control over like a pokemon battle? pick your poison.
How DARE you say Rose is a monster like me!?
That's the ultimate insult to my precious baby!
.....I never even insinuated that, I do not see you as a monster and why would you even THINK that?
I just meant she's like you in that she's actually pretty kind and philosophical while also bringing out your better sides and has a lust for battle- aka how you can act when you mind isn't cracking from this STUPID DEUS EX MACHINA PLOT.
Theoden is hype, that's why I like him. He's got both of the best speeches and cavalry charges are cool.
Oh dammit, him! Wasn't he the brother of someone? Like I said it has been years since I read LotR.
And we don't really bicker. We discuss.
The only one I could say I outright bicker with is No-Name.
Because he's a shit who's determined to see his cursed MeliaXSean ship come to fruition.
He also spies on other people's comments like this one right now. Hi, No-Name! Please fuck off from here!
Sometimes we snark and bite at each other in annoyance for how easy we are to tick off too.
Also kindly fuck off No-name, I don't read any of the replies but the ones aimed at me, you stick to that as well!
Not all who wander are lost, Roxy.
I...don't know.
I don't actually know when I got Rock Climb...
It'd have to have been before the filler arc after West Gearan started, right?
Oh hey someone used my name...
and....dammit now I need to go look, it's been a seriously long time.
It could be useful against teams that rely on stat reduction? I don't play competitive either so your guess is as good as mine.
I think every ruler has to have a little bit of showmanship in him to be great.
I-I suppose? And you've got plenty of that.
Eyes glaze over almost immediately and remembers nothing about the explanation
It's not like anyone can prove how time-travel works anyway. No point worrying about the specifics.
Eh, fair. We aren't doctor who or that odd man from ben 10 alien force.
Yes but the problem is you're all to smart to fall for any scams I try and use!
THINK of how many children I could be robbing if I made an Among Us/Fortnite channel?
Probably not a lot, it'd take a while for you to build up fame. Besides, I thought you liked us being smarter than the idiots in Aevium.
Well yeah some more recent readers would but the few like myself who haven't read back over this run in years wouldn't.
I....fair point, I legit only recalled Decibel thanks to getting bored one day and reading over this run cause it's fun.
Sorry, only Decibel decided to take me up on my offer of a Pokemon Showdown battle with our Rejuvenation teams. He almost won too so he earned that spot.
Ahhh we're not that bad. I've bickered worse.
You're fine. I'm a really unfocused guy so there's nothing to worry about.
I mean I didn't actually get into being active on this run until a LOT later, and I have no desire to deal with this game's download being a time-waster and scream inducing.
I mean fair, I've had a lot worse spats, but sometimes I end up overthinking things.
Accurate or just a guess?
I feel like it's just a guess because nobody's insane enough to go through each chapter and write down the amount of times I said fuck.
looks away guiltly
I did mention I read over this run a little while back...I got curious after one time where you said fuck 7 times in a row and started making a count out of sheer boredom.
But that's a long climb back up so I won't.

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Just know that I do it in spirit.
Okay.
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Just once, I'd like someone to solve something with a mundane answer.

Because so many problems in this game could be solved with a big enough rock.
Oh hey, a different camera angle for once. nice.
Poor show guys. Erick's an okay lad.

He seems a bit lonely but I've been gathering those types like flies lately.
Yea, like all of your commenters.
Today being August 7th 2019 anyway. No idea how long between writing and uploading the chapter will be.
May 14th, 2022
THERE WAS A LITTLE GIRL THROWN DOWN A WELL AND ELECTROCUTED AND I WANT TO GO BACK IN TIME TO STOP IT.

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WE LEFT MARIA IN THAT CULT!

GOD I HOPE TIME DOESN'T MOVE FORWARD BACK THERE WHILE WE'RE HERE!

Ugh, I still really hated that arc. It felt really creepy and unsettling and seeing children abused sets of every single alarm bell in my head- I get called a mama bear a lot whenever there's kids around.
BUT WHO COULD CREATE SUCH A THING IN SUCH A PLACE WHILE WEARING SOME GHASTLY UNDERWEAR!?!?

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GHASTLY with an H, not Gastly the Pokemon, Rose.
I-I think it just clicked for me that that's a sex joke due to how lileeps look. Sweet jesus.
*chuckle*

I say *chuckle* because "Hahaha" is a laugh I rarely even do.

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OI! I liked his joke!
Ditto!
Each member of my harem will get my sole focus when their turn comes.

I'm just THAT good of a guy.
Euch. I can't tell if that was sarcasm or legit, it was that euch of a sentence.
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Believe me, man.

It's better than what I get.

I do all the work and then get shafted to the side afterward. At least you don't have to exert yourself.
offers cookies
We need to work on your self-worth, Erick.
Yes, yes we do.
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Depends on which moon we're talking about.

...

Because it's Ganymede.

The biggest one.
Ha! I understood that jab. and no I feel like it's more like a planet sized chip.
Thank you, Anabel.

Most of what I do relies heavily on luck so that comment is appreciated.
as this next fight will go on to show....
THREE! MONTHS! REINHARD!

I'VE BEEN STUCK ON THIS DAMN CHAPTER FOR THREE MONTHS! WRITING ONLY SEVERAL SENTENCES AT A TIME!

WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THIS CAVE THAT MAKES WRITING CHAPTERS IN IT SO FREAKING DIFFICULT!?!?!?!
BAHAMUT SERIOUSLY?! My god I hope you took a nice long break from this afterwards, I take less time with full 3000 word chapters!
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Hot cave field, huh?

And judging by the little...tufts? plumes? of fire coming out of it...

Rift Ferrothorn is either Fire/Steel or Fire/Grass.

The second one is a unique typing so maybe it's that?

Although it's only unique because GameFreak are a bunch of hacks and keep thinking we need even more Normal/Flying types.

Or god forbid...Rock/Ground.

No matter, Zira can handle this.
I would honestly love to see a Fire/Grass type, that would be cool as hell. and I feel like this field will be a problem later....
Okay.

Okay.

OKAY.

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Little worried that a STAB and Field boosted OVERHEAT did abouuut...
NOT A GOOD SIGN FOR THE REST OF THIS FIGHT SEAN.
Total HP length is 1.5 cm and the missing part is 2mm...so 2/15...

Around 13% of it's health bar?

...

Fuck.
MMMGHHH THAT IS A VERY NOT GOOD, I FEAR FOR YOUR LIFE EVEN AS I REVEL IN YOUR PAIN because schadenfreude.
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Wow.

What a genuinely terrible team for fighting an overpowered Fire/Steel type.

Fuck that stupid informal rule about not reading the Dimensional Rift info beforehand. If I lose a single Pokemon this fight I'm not following it anymore
Oh THATS why Zira was injured. Also fuck that informal rule, it keeps fucking you in the mouth and also your team.
Reinhard is phenomenally weak to this thing's Ground moves and what I'm assuming is that Jan original move "Slash and Burn" because it's too perfect for this thing to have.

It does both Grass AND Fire damage. Which would maybe get double stab from this thing's typing? Maybe?

SO big yikes there.

Another yikes is that no other Pokemon outside who I've already mentioned can do super-effective damage.

And it's 5 levels higher than most of us.
clasps hands together in worry and quietly looks on
Did...did that do ANY damage?

I can't even tell.
It did. Just like maybe 10 hp
Now please blow this thing's fucking ear drums off.

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WHAT!? WHY DID THAT DO EVEN LESS!??

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At wh-

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OH MY GOD!

FERROTHORN HAS HER AIRPODS IN, SHE CAN'T HEAR US!
NOOOOO THAT'S BAD AND ALSO A BAD JOKE.
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That's really easy to say when Steel type moves do 1/4 of their damage against your bulky ass.

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I don't think you can rip-off the word aerodynamic by switching aero for aqua, Reinhard.
Yes you can, that sounds really cool.
Oh wow, the move Soak would have actually come in handy here by removing it's STAB and making it weak to more ty-

...

OH MY GOD.

CKINnCXm.jpg


I JUST GOT WHY SOAK IS ACTUALLY USEFUL NOW!

I ALWAYS WROTE IT OFF AS BEING SOMETHING WORTHLESS LIKE MUD SPORT OR WATER SPORT!

THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!
For the record it would JUST make it a pure water type. So while yes it would make it lose it's STAB, it would now only be weak to grass and electric which I think is less types than it's current typing, if my quick mental type charting is correct. (I THINK that combo makes it weak to water, ground and fighting. I forget if steel cuts water damage however, so if it does then it's just weak to fighting at 2x and ground at 4x)
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Okay, now I'm definitely SURE that's not a word.

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EXACTLY. TERRADYNAMIC IS EPIC SOUNDING.

GROUND MOVES CAN'T HIT BASS! THEY NEVER HAVE!

HE CAN'T DIE TO SOMETHING LIKE THIS! HE'S BEEN WITH ME SINCE 2016! HE DESERVES BETTER!


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OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH.
OK ENOUGH WITH THE PANIC HERE, I DO NOT LIKE SEEING THAT. (Also perhaps it has an ability to cancel out immunities? rift pokemon are BS like that)
The fucking Hurricane we used earlier changed the field from Fiery Cave to a Rocky Cave.

And there must be some trait in Rocky Cave fields that allows ground-moves to hit flying types!
...Fair, that might be why too.
But not you, my most favourite fan.

You're very special and popular and know that I'm referring to you and you alone.
I kind of doubt this is at me, it's prolly Sovereign One.
I don't know if it's because it finally knocked this thing down into yellow but that seems like a decent amount of damage, right?

Compared to what the other three were doing at lea-
Yes it does-
Wait WHAT?! It has a form change?! not good not good!
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OH!

OH LORD WHAT THE FUCK!?

WHY DOES IT LOOK LIKE A GIANT FLAMING YO-YO?!?

OH GOD AND IT FUCKING GAINED SOME HP BACK!
oh so that's why you called it a flaming, demented ferris wheel of doom...That is actually really really unnerving.
So on top of regaining health...

It gets an attack increase?
Kind of like a phase change in a few game series....
Mutated Ferrothorn that's also on fire.

This isn't even what it looked like during the first half of the fight.
uuughhh why is the grass/steel type a flaming ferris wheel now....
37 damage ain't bad for a...4x resisted...65 Base Power...Non STAB...move...

...

Ah shit.
for posterity, a non resisted STAB move of the same power would do about 222 damage.
...

The...the move hit, right?

Because I can't even tell if that even did damage.
Yes it did, like 5 hp
3DlpdFwm.jpg


Stop being a baby, Bass!

This is what it MEANS to be a headliner for the group!

You don't see Rose or Caesar complaining!
YES WE DO AND HOW IS A BOX COMFY.
Steamroller?

Great! It must be out of PP for Drill Run then.
I think it's out of PP for iron head too if you haven't skipped over any attacks?
drill run, iron head, steamroller...what's it's last attack?
So all we have to worry about are Fire Lash, Steamroller and Iron Head.

But since it hasn't used Iron Head in a while it might be all out of that move too.
It's out of it, my math should be right, i think it's got like 5 charges of steamroller and....wait it has fire lash? Huh, answers my question.
Yeah!

Some kind of Draconic Cave Field!
ok that sounds super badass....
Hooooooly fucking shit. I can't even tell if the Health Bar even moved.

WHY DOESN'T DRAGON PUSLE GET POWERED UP ON THIS FIELD!?!?
No it did, just this thing's typing is insanely defensive!!!
No you're not, missy!!

I need to heal you back to full first!
PLEASE. NO HEART ATTACKS LIKE EARLIER.
...

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Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa...

"Yowch", she says.

As if she didn't almost die.

As if my heart didn't almost plummet out my ass, through the floorboards, through the ground, through the center of the earth until it gave an old Chinese man a heart attack of his very own!
WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT PANIC AND HEART ATTACKS?! AND WHY ARE YOU BITING THE WALL
Nl1zs0fm.jpg


Uuuuuuhhhh...

Nuzlocking is too stressful.

I want to go back to Gen 6 where the broken Exp.Share makes the whole adventure a walk in the park...
I legit could not tell where Sean was in this photo, he blends into the bed way too well. and galar makes exp a fucking...ugh i legit tried to do a challenge run of Sword once THE EXP GAIN IS TOO BIG.
I literally went around every trainer possible, never did raids and ignored wild pokemon and i was still overleveled past gym 1 for the entire game!!!
Haha. Even you're worn down by this fucking slog of battle, huh?

Well don't worry. I'll end it soon.
PLEASE. IM BEGINNING TO HYPERVENTILATE. This fucking rift....
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Yeah, I realised that after you said it.

Fire Lash is Heatmor's signature move.

I'm just getting REALLY sick of that "It's not very effective" textbox popping up after wiping out 201 HP.

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The more the merrier, Sazzle.
I think centiskorch learns it too. galar fire bug.
and how are you going to beat it up?
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Oh stop, it already used up all its Drill Runs and Iron Heads on the others earlier.

All it should be throwing at you now, is Fire Lashes.
YAAAAAAY. Please kill it Macross.
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JUST lucky you though...
oh gods I can't even see 3 of them properly, that is honestly depressing and my GOD why is this thing so bad?!
NOT "JUST" LUCKY YOU, VERY LUCKY YOU!

Now we don't have to deal with any switch in damage!

I thought that move was 100% accurate though?

Do they still have a chance to mi-

w2HOgFam.jpg


Mother FUCKIN' Bright Powder!

For how small a reduction it causes, it sure does come in handy at the most convenient of times!
THAT REDUCES ACCURACY?! Well now I'm going to use it a lot more, that is really good!
TKBRjjPm.jpg


OR MAYBE NOT!

MACROSS YOU FUCKING LUCK MACHINE! WELL DONE!
the rift kinda looks like a giant electro beyblade in this.
Hey, anything that makes this spinning little shit squirm is A-OK in my book.

I'm just very happy that this fucking battle is finally coming to an end.

So for helping hammer the final nail in this thing's coffin you get to eat as many Thunderstones as you want when we get back to the city.

Hell I'm in such a good mood I'll even rescind Zira's Tofu punishment from last chapter!
YAY. wait he eats thunderstones? I NEED THOSE.
But cut me some slack, Macross!

Do you know how expensive it is to feed all of you picky eaters!?

WHY CAN'T YOU ALL JUST BE EASY AND EAT THAT POKE-KIBBLE CRAP!?!

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SOMEBODY PLEASE TAKE THIS CAT OUTSIDE SO I'M NOT TEMPTED TO STRANGLE HER?

THANK YOU
you are in NO POSITION TO TALK, ZIRA. SHUT UP.
Okay as we end it's life NEXT turn.

This thing's durability makes Dimensional Garbodor's look frail in comparison...

Flora definitely knows what she's doing when making monstrosities.
rrrghhh....can we please get back to chatting now? it's less heartache.
UB7QCcAm.jpg


...

This weird head in a circle thing was a mistake, I feel.
Going to be honest it actually looks really cool? I like it, it makes your team look appropriately snazzy.
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It does makes sense that only Reinhard's doing okay though.

He's the only one with over 100HP left.

Ah well.

We made it out of that warzone without any deaths and that's all that matters in the end.
ohhh my god this image is making me twitch like mad, how the fuck did you get out of this fight alive...
Especially not a form that looks like a fucking yo-yo.

Did Flora splice in some fucking Darmatian DNA when she was making this thing?

I've never seen any other Pokemon change form mid-battle!

...

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Discounting the show's evolutions.

...

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And Wishi-Washi.

...

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And Mega-Evolution.

...

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And Dynamaxong.

...

An-

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Just as well.

I've run out of examples I forgot about before I started this tangent.
Maybe next time think before you leap, dear Deragatory.
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What's also funny is that I'm just casually holding a solid piece of energy.

...

That looks like someone painted and glued a bunch of dominoes together...

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I tell ya, there must be an incredibly high rate of suicides among physicists in the Pokemon world due to how flip floppy the rules of the universe are here.
I don't....I can't even....that makes no sense...wat.
-OH.

OH THAT'S NOT A GOOD THING TO FIND IN HERE.


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OHHHH NOO NONONONONONNOONNOOOO NOT YOU AGAIN! NO, NO, NO, NO!!
I guess I must have accidentally selected the "replace all memories prior to this point with esoteric meta knowledge" option when I was filling out the trainer card application form in chapter 1.

'Cause I have no fucking clue how my brain or my body works at this point.
aren't you half robot....
Although Volcanion was a special case. It was the only Rift Pokemon I felt bad about killing.
It was also a baby. poor little steam beast baby.
If it escapes police custody I ain't fucking going after it again without a shit-ton of Rhydon and Poliwrath.

Or at the very least an Electric type and a Pokemon that knows Soak.

That would have come in SUPER handy back there.
like i've said soak may have actually lowered the number of types it was weak too, and it would have still taken ages....
Sorry, MANY years ago?

I assume she means the Team Meteor BEFORE Reborn Sean arrived?

Like in Solaris's heyday?

Because there's later side-quests in this game that would disprove it being MANY years ago since we meet some Reborn characters and they aren't that much older.
Please le that be the case, I have enough of a headache from this chapter already.
This long-ass chapter that's taken me almost three months of stopping and starting to finally finish.

It was so difficult I actually finished writing the rest of the entire season before this one.
OK SERIOUSLY, PLEASE TELL ME YOU GOT SOME ACTUAL REST AND TOOK SOME TIME OFF FROM THIS AFTER THAT.
We all do. What kind of shitty-ass useless writing... *grumble*
My fucking thoughts EXACTLY, mercury. every time I have to read that...that...DIASTER they somehow thought counts as a plot, I can feel my brain slowly wanting to boil the writer alive in acid and pickle juice so they can suffer like we do. CAN YOU PLEASE GIVE ACTUAL EXPLANATIONS OR NOT USE A DEUS EX MACHINA FOR 10 MINUTES. OR AT LEAST MAKE US NOT LOSE BRAINCELLS.
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

Alright this chapter took me like 2 hours to read and comment on, I apologize for any typos I've had a fucking stressful week. I am going to bed now....I had so many moments of panic this chapter ffffffnnn....
 

Decibel575

Hidden but not so Hidden Lurker
Pokédex No.
487
Caught
Jul 12, 2019
Messages
143
Nature
Timid
Pokémon Type
  1. Fairy
  2. ???
Pokédex Entry
Legends say that you may find this elusive creature hiding in the screenshot section, roaming the Terribly Titled threads
Oh right, I forgot about those battles we had. I'll at least hold onto that title of having nearly bested the Derogatory Trainer in no item combat, if not for Rose wiping out my three best Pokemon.

That Ferrothorn fight actually looks harder than how it is in later versions, or I just got really lucky with it. Actually, your battle felt a whole lot more stressful reading due to me starting to focus on the crit range of moves instead of ordinary damage. I blame those Pokemon Emerald Kaizo videos that talk about how precise everything needs to be.

And, I was not aware of that pulse room in the Bladestar base, so that was a shock even after playing through Rejuv three times. But it does explain how in newer versions of Rejuv, Floria and that crazy scientist actually have a pulse-like machine that doesn't hurt the Musharna inside. This is revealed early on in newer versions of the game as well.

Erick being the only other person in the region that has beaten Rift feels funny to me, and I'm unsure why.

And, I must say. After reading all your other runs again, I've come to enjoy the banter you write amongst the Rejuv group even more than previously. It stands out a whole lot more, while being genuinely entertaining. Definitely have come such a long way since that first chapter of Reborn, and can't wait to see how you have improved further by the end.
 
Pokédex No.
1649
Caught
Mar 16, 2020
Messages
1
Have you been playing Pokemon Xenoverse?

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This was literally the only image I could find of her that would work on this site.
I don't think Derogatory is refering to a circus trainer gym leader from another fangame. Derogatory is refering to...modern day feminsts. *shivers in disgust*

Pretty sure it only did that to the bosses, also please don't mention that game again, it's convoluted plot makes rejuvenation's sane in comparison.
Hey, at least in Empyrean there's no bitch with superpowers stealing your wins. And people regard the player character as a hero(as it should be).


Replying to Sean:

Am I the only who loves Battle Frontier? I love it because it gives me something to do postgame. And I love the thrill of Pokemon battling. Forming the perfect team for a particular faculty. Figuring the correct action in the ehat of a battle. Clenching my arse as I barely won on a sliver of health. That's wjhat I live for.

Now if only I could use legendaries...

But I'm a filthy casual and everyone has their own opinion. So you do you.

Unless somebody genuinely thinks Sword and Shield are amazing games. In which they clearly lack taste.

To anyone who played Gen 7, are Looker and Anabel useless in that game? Do they contribute anything other than telling the player to fight otherwordly beasts?

Because here, they're so damn useless. I think Erick contributed more than they ever could. Which is a shame because as a filthy shipper, I kinda ship those two.

You know, when I said thrill of battling I didn't mean stupidly challenging battles where the opponents has sky rocket stats. Because sheesh, even diamonds would break before that Ferrothorn. Thankfully no one died. Phew. And all it costs is a bunch of healing items...
 

antingaround

Redemption arc
Artist
Screenshotter
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
228
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
189
Nature
Jolly
Pokémon Type
  1. Normal
Pokédex Entry
nuzlocke psychopath
Wonderful job. With the shield mechanics, Rift Ferrothorn is definitely not as big of a slog as before but it still is terrifying. Fire Lash is a 100% defense drop so you can't even tank it out, and it goes super crazy with its field. Flora's character motivations make her really the Most Character of All Time, but at least it means less Team Xen bullshittery. And yeah, Team Xen's HQ is in the Badlands but that's the generic name for that half of Terrial Island.
 

Bernag

Cybernetic lurker at your service
Pokédex No.
2806
Caught
Nov 1, 2020
Messages
103
Nature
Bashful
Pokémon Type
  1. Water
  2. Fighting
BRUH I DIDN'T GET NOTIFIED OF THIS NEXT CHAPTER... THAT'S IT I HAVE BEEN QUIET FOR TOO LONG. GIMME THIS AFTERNOON AND I WILL HAVE SOME REACTIONS ON THE GO. ENOUGH DILLY DALLING XD
 

Bernag

Cybernetic lurker at your service
Pokédex No.
2806
Caught
Nov 1, 2020
Messages
103
Nature
Bashful
Pokémon Type
  1. Water
  2. Fighting
sooo wow I'm 4 chapters behind XP
but I'm not gonna make Sean suffer to respond to everything by grabbing reactions for 4 chapters
so I'm going to summarize some thoughts from those previous chapters and this one will go as normal

Ana non-stop asking Jenny to find out "where they are” was funny (and your joke of batman as well). I wonder why Jenny is afraid of Ana because from what I remember this has yet to be answered in later chapters... but let's be fair... she was stupid for trying to work after her daughter got kidnapped. Like you know that's going to distract you without a doubt. I'm surprised Sean didn't ask Dylan to get him his own "Sleeping pills" so that later he could use them in certain individuals. *looks at every xen grunt and admin*. Xen got a taste of dramatic entrances so maybe down the line we can see another ? and he beat trainers who were around 10 levels higher so another ego boost. YAYYYY.

Btw sorry if these are a bit long... but you turn out too much good content is hard to summarize XP

Ah nice Rose joke to start us off.
Of course Caesar is writing a bestseller of your adventures... Although ngl if it turns out great is good propaganda for once you are champion. HEYYY HE DID GET A COPY OF DYLAN'S SLEEPING PILLS :D. Oohhh nice gift. You look good with a suit. When they are stumped by the fact you have the you know... Rift dex and they have close to nothing... they realize how far ahead you are XD. HEYYY another Rose joke. She is getting better.BUT YES WHO IN HELL IS LEAVING THOSE INFOS ABOUT THE RIFT AROUND LIKE WTH. So... I'm going to say this... in V13 they actually have to Bring Melia to question her about the whole ...Zetta ordeal... and they do the whole questionnaire thing where its dark room with only a light on her on the chair as Anabel comes out from the shadows and start asking her things. And I'm torned about this because I liked how this chapter didn't have any of the main cast But this dark room questionnaire joke is actually funny... BUT OF COURSE HAD TO JAM MELIA IN...SIGHHH...
And im glad they F*CKING FINALLY ACKNOLEDGE THE FACT THE 100%(Technacilly 99% because of Yveltal) win rate is Sean's alone. Like Yeah the Mc is the powerhouse of the group. Huh even thoughthey didn't get the right lead for Zetta they still pay you ? wow considerate people. Those are rare. Yada yada dream world stuff. The only comment i have for that is... how does Dream world Zetta work? Is it like the conscious from the solosis that's is locked int he pokeball? or what. Also how did they give Anabel rift matter?... dream world is confusing... Oh and i loved the ritual joke. Seriouslly made me laugh for a good bit.

AND AGAIN SORRY FOR THE LENGHT BUT WHEN YOUR CONTENT IS GOOD IS HARD ;-;

... what is angie's Rift pokemon? Like we never get told what it is... and im not sure if v13 explains it either... i could be wrong about this though...
Oh my heart was not prepared for the team Xen acting as anime team rocket joke... oh my funny bone...It hurts from joy... OH GOD NOT ANOTHER GOOD JOKE(the brick one).

FINALLY A SMALL ONE BUT ITS COSTED ME A LOT OF CHUCKLES THAT I HAD TO SURPRESS BECAUSE IM WRITTING THIS IN A LIBRARY ;-;. I will re read that chapter later.

Before i start with reactions there is something else i have to react to... The tittle. That is a glorios reference if if done accidently. Claps to you Sir

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Also I either need to buy a Pokedex toy or find my old OG series one somewhere in my attic to really make this prop work.

I feel like only edgelords would ask for a BLACK Pokedex off of the professor.
You could just say that the improved pokedex you got a few chapters ago its a rotom phone dex (Galar region) and say it was installed into your phone which was already black.
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Huh. They have their own conference room?

The GDC government is being awfully generous to these guys in terms of office space...
... Suggestion. Add one to your secret room so you can have team meetings for upcoming battles XD
CAN I JUST ONCE DO SOMETHING THAT ACTUALLY DAMAGES THE ORGANISATION!?

Feels like they've barely lost ANY efficiency even with most of their admins out of commission.

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...

Yes.

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That is now the official reason why we haven't seen them for pretty much this entire season.
*Me looking at how Geara has been gone or close to non mention in the few chapters*
Also i don't care what other's say i say Sean is responsible for this since you were the one to beat him so he was weakened for the deed that happened to you know... happen. And my god its a deserving punishment for the annoyance... Cheating Geara...

Mainly because I thought he was an electrical engineer and not a software one.

But then again he's friends with that manic mechanist Saki, so who knows what he's truly capable of?

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Come to think of it, he's also the ONLY other person in the world who's beaten a Rift Pokemon by himself.

He just didn't defeat it because Garbodor's a cheating shit.

So Erick's alright.

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He's part of my special club.
huh... never realized that but yeah. Someone else beat a a Rift pokemon besides you. Good job Erick.
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Yeah, I fought him for a gym badge and he killed my Claydol.

The prick.

I LIKED that Claydol.
THAT CLAYDOL COULD USE FLAMETHROWER. A MOVE ITS SPECIES CANNOT LEARN. IT WAS SO COOL
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You know what they say, Nova:

"Gotta Catchy them all!"

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...

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Ooooooh thank god you laughed.

I might have died if you didn't.

Nobody laughing at my jokes is my Kryptonite.
*chuckles quietly because of his location*
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There will 100% be a scene in the future where that fat pile of shit bursts in to save the day. And everyone will go "wow, amazing, what is even the point of Sean?"

This game is infested with those scenes.

And I hate it.
hmmm actually in the beginning of the game the Garbodor helped you and Melia by distracting a bunch of grunts which allowed you face Zetta without a bunch of back attacks.
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They also look so cool...

If only they had better Special Defense...

And were just solely rock types so they'd lose the 4x weaknesses and make Solid Rock an actually worthwhile ability for them to have.

And don't get me started on how bad Rhyperior is!
yeah... Rhyperior doesn't look as good as Rhydon... Like why does the protector make Rhydon become... that...
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Noice. Does it have speakers?

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Great! I'm gonna go get my Vietnam mixtape and then I'll be right back!

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DUN NU NA NU NAAA!
*BLASTING THE GOOD MUSIC I SEE*
Damn does this picture look good. Nice work Sean. Although how is Reinhart flying ? or did he just launch himself ?
*Also another good classic to enjoy*

OH! IF ONLY WE HAD A SYMBOL OF THE BLADESTAR ORGANISATION SOMEWHERE IN THIS BASE!?

OR IF THE SYMBOL WAS ONE OF THE INTEGRAL 26 PARTS OF THE ALPHABET!?
the stupidity in some cases... is overbearing...

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Why would I...?

Ugh...let me change that.

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There we go.
And another good story rewrite as been done.


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*chuckle*

I say *chuckle* because "Hahaha" is a laugh I rarely even do.

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OI! I liked his joke!

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Piss off you incorrect depiction of my feelings!
True his joke wasn't bad. I smiled from. Why does Jan force us to decide our reaction... He could have allowed a small dialogue after the whole conversation since Erick stays outside where he asks us "Hey did you like that joke ?" and we could answer honestly. Like bruh


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Yes?

Did you really need to ask that question or did you actually forget why I'm even here in the first place?

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...

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No seriously, did Anabel actually forget why they hired me or did someone hit her in the head while I wasn't looking?

Did somebody find and press the 'ROCK' button at her?

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So we're just going to ignore what might be a serious concussion then?
... did... did jan just... i... im strongly dissapointed ngl...


yeah this form... does not look good. However its other form is actually very interesting.
BUT YEAH THIS FIGHT IS HARD. I did this fight when i was around level 80's... and it still was hard because like... how much defence did they put into this thing like hell i even had ground attacks and those weren't doing enough damage.


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Well...

It did what I expected at least.

Got rid of the fire.

Shame all that STAB move did was like...a single digit of damage.
huh... you actually used terrain knowledge ? Wow im impressed you remember it did this. Nice


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I JUST GOT WHY SOAK IS ACTUALLY USEFUL NOW!

I ALWAYS WROTE IT OFF AS BEING SOMETHING WORTHLESS LIKE MUD SPORT OR WATER SPORT!

THIS CHANGES EVERYTHING!
yeah... this also happened to me... Not in this fight but in a similar fashion. The usefulness of Soak is astounding when you think about XD

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HOW THE HELL DID THAT HIT!?!

GROUND MOVES CAN'T HIT BASS! THEY NEVER HAVE!

HE CAN'T DIE TO SOMETHING LIKE THIS! HE'S BEEN WITH ME SINCE 2016! HE DESERVES BETTER!


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OHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHH.


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And I think I clenched my ass so hard my spine cracked again...
Few... one scare down... Glad Bass is alive. Afterall he is one of the only last members from part 1... We can't let him go down like this. Also nice to see you do care for some of the box mons.

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REALLY CUTE BUT ALSO REALLY HARD IT SEEMS!

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I don't know if it's because it finally knocked this thing down into yellow but that seems like a decent amount of damage, right?

Compared to what the other three were doing at lea-

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...

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