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Screenshot Fan Game Mature Commentary The Terribly-Titled Nuzlocke of Pokemon Rejuvenation: Part 3: Chapter 124 - My Nazi Academia

Thread Description
A heroic saga of loss, anger and a great number of idiocy induced headaches. Welcome to the wild ride that is Pokemon Rejuvenation! (Updated 01/12/21)
Pokédex No.
927
Caught
Oct 22, 2019
Messages
180
Location
In the library with many good books
Nature
Timid
Pronouns
They/Them
Pokémon Type
  1. Bug
  2. Psychic
Pokédex Entry
A very small trash boy last seen clawing themself out of the gender dumpster.
I'll assume you meant "concept" because I'm not seeing how this game is conceited.

Conceit can be used in this context too! In this case being the conceit of being a Pokemon game and following the framework of the series.

Why...would they make that?

My man, stay away from AO3. You are still too innocent. Preserve what little sanity you have remaining.

Ever considered the laser eye surgery? I haven't because I'm still getting over the disappointment of being told that they actually don't let me shoot lasers out of my eyes when I was 10.

I considered it right up until I discovered that laser eye surgery interacts so badly with my condition that I'd literally have to have large amounts of my eyes removed and new ones transplanted in. Which I'll eventually have to do anyway, but hopefully not for another 10-15 years and by then they should be finished with the trials on artificial corneas.

"Ah the classic angry healer rant. Is CLEARLY only jealous of the Assassin/DPS dealer and how cool they are doing all the attacks" - Some MMO player probably

I can guaran-fucking-tee that any douchebag who has said that and meant it is EXACTLY the kind of player I was furious at. (Plus I have better DPS with my healer-Warden than anyone barring the right melee-Templar setup. So fuck 'em.)

True but were they by chance POSSESSED BY DEEEEEMONS!?!?!
...
OR WHATEVER THE FUCK HAPPENS IN THIS CHAPTER!?

Yeah well we know how I feel about Jan trying to do anything remotely like an allegory for mental health.

Ugh. Nothing worse than teenagers being "deep", like they're the first idiot to have some abstract thought.

Only one thing: Adults who genuinely believe in shit like reflexology. Look, acupuncture is one thing, it's been perfected over centuries and proven to actually help with quite a few physical conditions. The shitheads who believe massaging my foot the right way will 'cure' my autism can FUCK A MILLION MILES OF OFF, PREFERABLY INTO THE HEART OF THE SUN.

Eh. He's done worse.
And will do worse.

Honestly when this run eventually ends, some far-off day in the future, I will legitimately sit down and read the whole run and list off every case of emotional and/or physical abuse and actual fucking war crimes performed in this game so future generations can understand why Australia was bathed with the incandescence of my pure spite to become a continent of superbeings capable of removing Jan from existence entirely.

Nothing is off-limits in these types of fan-games.

Uuuuuuuugh don't remind me, some of the fucked up shit from the Pokemon fan game community genuinely scares me.

Well...it doesn't take a genius to use a fucking flying move on a fighting type.

Yeah but look at all the double battle partners this game has saddled you with beforehand.

Like with Gardevoir I can SEE where those freaks come from since it's very...woman-shaped but not Grumpig.

Seriously, stay away from AO3.

I'll just throw a couple of aspirin at him.

*cackle* Now that was a terribly deep lore cut you just pulled out there~

Why didn't Doctor Who ever just go "lol no" in response?

Because the Master never used it on the Doctor. And the one time he tried it on a companion with was Peri the bolshy American, who responded by yelling "And I am Perpugilliam Brown and I can shout louder than you!" (Do not start me on companion names in the JNT era, it's almost as mind-blowingly painful as a Moffat episode.)

You'll run out of spite before this game is done.
Even I wouldn't be able to match the amount of sneaky "haha I know stuff you don't" left in this game.

My spite is overflowing and limitless. I'm a queer athiest raised in the Anglican church and forced to attend a religious high school. My spite cannot be measured.

Whoa now, Mercury.
Let's not say something we can't take back.
Calling him worse than Steven Moffat is too far even for me.

Okay yeah fair, he's not worse than Moffat. He's getting way too goddamn close to the Dreaded Moffat Zone though.

While I'd LOVE to reassure you that it gets better...
It never really does.

Of course it doesn't, it's a Pokemon fan game.

By god, do I fucking despise Funko Pops.

I own one Funko Pop. It was a gift from my aunt and uncle so it's hidden in the back of my wardrobe as opposed to burning somewhere.

It's a Mr Mime and I made the most unholy sound of terror when I unwrapped it. Those fuckers are creepy enough without being Funko-ised.

c689jzy8xl041.jpg

...People actually buy this shit. Fuck's sake.


...you know what, I'm okay with this. You at least got something like a reward for this. Unlike almost everything ELSE this game forces you to do.


Look, bro, we all ship Sealita here but you're being a creeper again.


Entirely fair. I mean given what we're about to learn I don't blame you for running but going back is super-fucking-awkward.


They literally just took a screenshot of Clauncher's X/Y model and ran it through a filter and that's basically it. Still, it's a pretty awesome Pokemon to have!


Aelita, you are the only person in this entire region who is actually likable, of COURSE he's accepting your invitation.


This autumnal colour pallette is actually pretty good! Still a touch too pink for my tastes but still much nicer than most other areas in this game.


That entire sentence is provably a lie. You worried like crazy, she didn't fall into a coma she was fucking cursed by Garufan bullshit, and none of it would have happened if the game let the characters use their BRAINS sometimes.


Bitch I'm not even sure you actually know his name.


So you're the abusive old fucker who literally turfed Erin out onto the street. I'm keeping my eye on you, one false move and you BURN.


NEVER SAY THIS FUCKING SENTENCE TO YOUR CHILDREN.

Literally none of this would've been a problem if you'd chosen to even TRY and be honest with Aelita. If she knew what was going on, or that leaving would put innocent people at risk, she WOULDN'T HAVE LEFT. But instead you lied to her, harassed her, dumped the responsibility for her on your teenage grandchild, and (as we will soon see) caused this entire mess by NOT USING YOUR FUCKING BRAIN.

It was poor form on Souta's part for not letting you sleep in your own room over it too.

Also "let her out on her own"?

What the fuck kind of context am I missing from all this!?

This man should not be allowed near children, let alone responsible for the well-being of teenagers. And from what we're about to see Eldest probably shouldn't be either.

WHY IS IT EVEN A POKEMON GAME!?

THERE ARE MULTIPLE MAGIC SYSTEMS IN PLACE IN THIS FUCKING REGION!

FUCKING THIS! WHY IS THIS A POKEMON GAME! It literally hasn't been a Pokemon game since Zetta first turned up with his 'banishing people to dark realms' power! Just admit that the Pokemon conceit is holding you back and make your own goddamn game!


YOUR PRESUMABLE GRANDCHILD IS LYING THERE IN A COMA WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.


Thank you, Erin, for saying exactly what everyone here was thinking! Christ!

To be fair...

You only NOW just told her this.

She would have behaved if you told her how serious it was instead of "Hey, you're finally awake. STAY RIGHT FUCKING THERE UNTIL WE SAY SO!"

Everything about this plotline is making me deeply angry. They constantly lie to and loom over Aelita without telling her a single goddamn thing, to buy time to solve a problem that Souta literally caused by deciding to be a foolish slapdash motherfucker and 'break' the 'chains' in Aelita's mind without thinking that a. they were there for a reason or b. that maybe Aelita would like the chance to CONSENT to any of this!


THISSSSSSSSS. Why is every adult in this region a manipulative emotionally abusive clusterfuck?!

Why would Texen get Keta's house? That has nothing to do with the league. Keta used to battle people on his front lawn.

I'm going to go over the rules of this League with a fine comb when I become champion.

...Texen fucking STOLE Keta's house, oh shit. You don't just inherit someone's property because you got their job! That house is legally Aelita's!
 

Decibel575

Hidden but not so Hidden Lurker
Pokédex No.
487
Caught
Jul 12, 2019
Messages
109
Nature
Timid
Pokémon Type
  1. Fairy
  2. ???
Pokédex Entry
Legends say that you may find this elusive creature hiding in the screenshot section, roaming the Terribly Titled threads
Oh hey, I managed to get back in time for the next half of the game.
cus the area around GDC is where we get the next few badges after all.

Nice to see you still going strong though, and I hope you see it through to the end. in about another 7 years. I'll try to stick around for it all this time.

Reborn and Snakewood when? Also back at 1000th baby.
 
Last edited:

spikesgirl1

Lugia Worshiper
Pokédex No.
446
Caught
Jul 9, 2019
Messages
88
Pokémon Type
  1. Fire
  2. Ghost
Aw crap, either I overlooked the notification for this or deleted the email. But whatever, I'm here now!

If there is ever a day Rose can lie to you and make it genuine...be very afraid.

You know, I WANT to like Lootcrate, but it'd only be remotely worthwhile if it's stuff I'm interested in. And a lot of the boxes have stuff I don't care about whatsoever.

I can't say I hate Funko Pops ('cause I have a handful), but I do have a friend who obsessively buys them and only recently has tried to trim down her collection. Aesthetics and cost aside, I never saw the value in collecting a ton of them because they just take up WAY too much space.

...That said, that particular Funko Pop needs to be destroyed. I hate everything about it.

Yikes, I keep forgetting that there actually are 18 badges in this one. Being restricted to eight is burned in my memory.

These kids need a lifelong time out - they're just so weird and naive.

Man, seeing Clauncher made me remember that I was gonna use one in X until I decided to try out Froakie instead. Always seemed pretty neat to me.

I...forgot about Nova too. Oops. But Staraptor's cool, so hopefully he doesn't die anytime soon.

And since I won't be surprised if you made fun of ME for having Funkos, I'll just add that most of my disposable income goes towards video games and leave it at that. :P

Aww, that's an adorable story! Real talk, I love Teddiursa and I'm thinking of using an Ursaring for my Brilliant Diamond team (yes, I'm a sucker, can't help myself). Going to have to trade for it as well, but I want to actually train one for once!

Ugh, this is exactly like being around a friend's family while they're arguing. Or your in-laws (trust me, super awkward).

Ohhh, you've opened a can of worms, Sean. Now somebody (if they remember) will definitely call you out on reading minds.

That's exactly what I thought as soon as he mentioned it. Plenty of potential Ace Attorney references, at least!

Would punching a few pillows help instead? That would be less bad for your health.

Yeah, um... I gotta agree, this mish-mash of plot ideas is a bit...much.

Finally, tournament time! Hopefully it's worth getting excited for, even if it's highly suspicious.

Uhh, don't? Seriously though, if you ever need a break, go for it! Burnout sucks.
 

pikafan96

That Little Yellow Rat
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
2619
Caught
Sep 27, 2020
Messages
140
Location
The middle of nowhere
Nature
Quiet
Pronouns
She/Her
Pokémon Type
  1. Electric
  2. Dragon
Pokédex Entry
A reclusive creature. Can rarely be seen scavenging for food late at night.
He should have just called himself Du Croissant.
And you could have been Katrina du Croissant.
And then lie and say that your ancestor was from the village where croissants were first created.
...
SO MUCH WASTED POTENTIAL DAMMIT!!!
I could have claimed to be queen of the croissants 😫


I don't know...I've always felt there's been a more biological element to Pokemon.
Like if the Pokedex were some large tome you had to write the Pokemon's information into for Grand Sorceror Oak instead of an electronic device given to you by Professor Oak, it'd feel more magical.
I've kind of always seen it as sort of a mix.
Kind of like how if there was a game set in a fantasy world (like with dragons and elves and stuff) but it all took place in modern times. There would still be magic of course, but it be a lot more... organized I suppose.
Anyway that's sort of a good example for how I've always viewed the Pokemon world.


5PC6qzqm.jpg


WHAT DOES SHE HAVE TO DO UNTIL SHE'S CUTE ENOUGH FOR YOU, PIKA!?!?!
STOP. GO BACK! WE'VE GONE TOO FAR!!!
Nothing will make me think that abomination is cute - the original design at least didn't send me into uncanny valley territory!


Hmmm...
You might be a protagonist, Pika. These sound vaguely prophetic.
I don't suppose you have a mystic shaman living on a mountain near your home by any chance? You should go see him if so.
Uhh... do the local weed farmers count? If not then no.
This does remind me though; lately I've been having a reoccurring dream about this island surrounded by a wall of fog, and every night I explore a different part of the island.
I've actually been really enjoying these dreams - mostly because I actually manage to remember them and it's pretty neat just how consistent the exploration of island is.


The worst part is when later on the acknowledge that the Normal type badge wasn't official (but it still had the verification chip making it legal) which you'd THINK I'd agree with, no?
Not when the "league administrators" invalidate it in front of me and make me fight Melia for a "real one".
Melia.
The girl I've been beating up and down the region this entire game.
Oh, wow - that hurts to read.
Melia strikes again I see!


Didn't know you could graduate late from American high school though. You need a certain amount credits or something for a diploma, right? We don't have that here.
Yeah, I was going through a lot as a teenager; I wasn't in a good place mentally so school wasn't priority for me.
I was home-schooled for most of my life anyway though, so making up the credits later wasn't that big of a problem.


Uh...no.
What I meant was that Metal Coat would boost the Heavy Slam move because it's a steel type attack.
Heavy Slam+Heavy Metal+Metal Coat+STAB, y'know?
There aren't any items that increase a Pokemon's weight. You'd think Iron Ball would but nope.
So you can go ahead and unlearn what you learned. Hopefully it didn't push anything useful out.
... Why the hell did my mind immediately go to it affecting weight and not just boosting steel-type moves?
Let's please pretend this little incident never happened - I have a reputation to maintain.


I know that in my twenty-odd years of Pokemon I can still count how many times I've used them on one hand.
Like... are they sprays or drinks or does that Amongus looking face pop out some pills?
My guess is pills.
In the Mystery Dungeon games Max Elixirs are depicted as little pill bottles if I'm remembering correctly, so I'm going based off that.


...
You know this means there's going to be a catastrophic upcoming failure though, right?
I'm going to pretend I didn't read this and go on to live in blissful ignorance for as long as I possibly can.
"Catastrophic upcoming failure?" That sounds like an emotional roller coaster for future Pika to deal with.


Funko Pops, you say? Well isn't this a coincidence?
Oh? I wonder this implies!


I know, right? It's bascially just "Beware the Oogedy Boogedy!"
I'm not even sure which part of it sounds dumb. The Xen or the Purgis part?
I'm gonna say it's the "Purgis" part.
The whole thing is awful - like a kid trying to come up with a super cool name, but you could have easily just used "Purge" instead. "Xenpurge" (while still stupid sounding) doesn't sound quite as ridiculous as "Xenpurgis."
Honestly, there's not much to fix this though. Combining any word with "Xen" is just going to sound strange. "Xenannihilation," "Xenexodus," "Xendecimation?" None have the right oompf to convey what the writing is trying to get at here.
... Actually "Xenexodus" isn't awful.


I know she's just turning around to look at the other Pokemon, but this pose makes it look like Rose is holding her tail; you know - like how little kids mess with their hands or something when they're in trouble?
Anyway, it's very cute.


I don't understand how people can pay like $30 for a piece of cheap and ESPECIALLY ugly plastic that can't even be used for anything.

That's basically a capitalist's wet dream right there. Someone paying you for garbage.

Seriously, there's something wrong with the world if people have to buy shit like that to fill the un-ending maw inside them that longs to be filled.

Fucking...build a model airplane or something that requires more effort than hiring someone to put up a shelf so you can store more fucking Funko Pops.
Ah, so this is what you were referring to... I mean, they're pretty damn adorable I'm not gonna lie.
I love collectables, but I never buy them myself - I usually get them from family as gifts for my birthday or Christmas.
I own exactly two Funko Pops (Pikachu and Charmander) and the only reason I have them is because my aunt bought them for me last Christmas.


3JOgn6Bm.jpg


Whoa! Hey!

Thought I'd have to go looking around for you!
Huzzah! She wasn't just a figment of your dream!
Now she can help to balance out the rage-inducing other personalities that make up your group.


BiA75QWm.jpg


WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO!?

I HAVEN'T SEEN A SINGLE FUCKING SHOWER OR BATH ANYWHERE IN THIS GOD FORSAKEN REGION!

EVERYONE HERE FUCKING REEEEEKS!
Come on, be a man and jump in a river like the rest of do!
You have to make do with what you have in have in front of you. You don't want people to mistake you for a dirty hobo do you?


zFJs9k0m.jpg


OH!?

ymxHTz0m.jpg


Now that's an interesting find...

I've never had one of these before.

They've got a special ability that boosts move with a "Pulse" on the end of them, right?
Oh, Clauncher is very good!
I've never used one personally, but their ability has always tempted me...


Did any of you guys ever see what Octillery was going to look like in gen 2 before they changed it?

f4zLaPW.png


Way more tank-like than what we got, isn't it?
Also - Remoraid also used to just be a gun.
58e.jpg

*sigh* Oh to yearn for what could have been...


Having to climb another volcano.

frlXmW5m.jpg


But with the added bonus of toxic gases and probably Orcs Xen Grunts everywhere!

How swell!
There are a concerning amount of volcanoes on this region.
Is that Team Xen's plan? Make all the volcanoes go boom in order to cleanse the region?
Is that what the "Xenpurgis" is going to be? Lava death?


nIJ1Ogdm.jpg


Oiiii...

If that wasn't said with the slightest hint of affection I might have a problem with being called 'strange', you know!
Aw, Nova seems sweet.
Compared to (most of) the rest of your team that's actually pretty refreshing!


zi2BJfhm.jpg


Aw shit...

Well...back in Gen 2, Ursaring was my favourite Pokemon. (It's a big scary bear, what's not to love?)

And I remember wishing I had one for a starter instead of the mediocre Johto ones.

So when I got Pokemon Crystal I made a deal with my cousin who had the Link Cable.

I'd trade my Cyndaquil or whatever for a Teddiursa Egg from his old Pokemon Gold Version when I got to Cherrygrove.

So yeah. Brought that old girl all the way to Red and back again.
Aww!!! That's adorable!
Damn, I miss the days of innocence where you could just look at a Pokemon and decide that you love it no matter what.
Nowadays it's all about stats and competitive viability 😔


Also Hakon's facial expressions were great here.


Uhhh, myself? Everyone on Team Derogatory does.

Didn't you read the fine print of your contract?

u6lrjmZm.jpg

a7sIs6wm.jpg
... What else did you put in that contract Sean?
Is there anything else we should know about...?


3URvVuvm.jpg


FOR LOOT, FIVES!

I DO IT FOR LOOT!
Everybody knows you find the best loot in the gutters and back-alleys.
Nobody wants to go there, so that means there's no competition for the good stuff!


Got a big win with no deaths last night.

b2Ezp45m.jpg


So spirits are high and ready to be SLAPPED down at a moment's notice!
Just as Jan intended.


You should focus on the REAL problem here.

That being the cataracts you seem to have suddenly developed.

rBrbN5hm.jpg


I mean HOW does she not see Aelita from here?!

Does tunnel vision run in her fucking family or something?
You know it would probably make more sense if Aelita were standing behind the box.
Then we could just use the excuse that it's a really big box, so Erin couldn't see her from that angle.
We were so close to having this scene make more sense!


Okay, those two DEFINITELY used to fuck.
... Who says they aren't still fucking?
The elderly can have a sex life too Sean.


5q7GJvCm.jpg


Oh.

Erin actually called her on it.

Nice.
Huh, Erin has been pretty tolerable lately.
Maybe she just gave a bad first impression - maybe she'll actually turn out to be a cool character!
(I say with hesitantly.)


You know, at first it looked like you just strapped a cheese grater to Caesar's face.
Either way, I laughed.


I geuninely believe we will hit every single possible genre of ficition by the time this game is over.

I wouldn't even be surprised if there's a driving segment later on.
Oh, I can't wait to see how the inevitable first-person-shooter segment goes!
... Though I do worry about the consequences of handing you a gun.


Can't go for the Tao Trio because I have it on good authority that they're dicks.
Also one eats people. Not a good modern god candidate there.
DAMN STRAIGHT!
Take my advice; they're a bunch of hypocritical bastards!


I thought The internet just some never catch on fad when I was younger since it took five minutes to load a 30 second video.
I still remember thinking way back when I was little that the internet was for rich people. We had dial-up for so long just because we lived in the middle of nowhere.
I don't think anyone realized just how big of a thing the internet would become - which is hilarious in hindsight.


ixCNLtlm.jpg


HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

i2LdRTbm.jpg


YEAH BABY! THERE I FUCKING AM!

WE'VE GOT OURSELVES A GOOD OL' FASHIONED TOURNAMENT ARC!
Hell yeah!
I mean... it's inevitably going to get screwed up somehow right before you can win, but let's enjoy it while it lasts!


Please leave a comment below to convince otherwise and I'll see you next chapter where I get hit by a truck and become a postman.

...

Yyyyyep.
... You're messing with us right? I don't recall that happening in this game.
But if you do need a break don't be afraid to take one - we'll all still be here when you get back.
 

Derogatory Trainer

The hero you don't need but you're getting anyway.
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
315
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
365
Nature
Adamant
Pokémon Type
  1. ???
Pokédex Entry
The most humble and modest braggart you will ever meet.
6BvPmAKm.jpg


...

Wait.

rCCkbQPm.jpg


How did Eldest know that our names were going to be called out on the T.V moments before they actually were?

6e72tm6m.jpg

Anr9U4Hm.jpg


Hey, don't worry about it.

Everyone else in this region is unaware how shit they are as well.

You're actually doing slightly better now that you've acknowledged it.

And even then it wasn't actually you doing all those things, it was Cursed Form Aelita.

Evilita.

We'll call her Evilita.

bOt3rlam.jpg

LRqFoqQm.jpg


Well...maybe as you are now but clearly not when they first woke you up.

From what it sounded like you would have literally kicked the head off of anyone who looked at you sideways.

Even I'm not that quickly belligerent.

25RUvhrm.jpg


That's true.

I need at least half an hour to stoke the anger fires before I get in the belligerent mood.

UoB0TO6m.jpg


...

AffQ2OHm.jpg


I wish you didn't phrase it like that but yes.

WOktJdbm.jpg


You're a little unreasonable.

You would have understood but have gotten fed up and bailed anyway.

What's funny to me is that you had telekinesis when you had all the chains removed.

Does that mean deep down you want to be a Psychic trainer instead?

ZQKaJZCm.jpg

dCgSrNum.jpg


Yep. Seems we're all in the same bracket too.

Guess I'll beat you in the finals so?

ZUuOnCQm.jpg


...

I know what I said, Aelita.

LGSecN0m.jpg


My money's on you or Risa Raider being the one making it there.

My next best guess would be someone else I've never fought.

It's not going to be Melia, that's for sure.

ZWpBfvym.jpg


Glad you appreciate my support.

Even if it's highly obvious you'll win until you get to me.

SW96UdCm.jpg


Kanon doesn't have any Pokemon, Veronica's still a rock and roll gal, Melia genuinely sucks at this, the nobody NPCs aren't even worth mentioning and Erin...

zHNe5hVm.jpg


I think Erin's deal is that she uses white Pokemon because she's some sort of reverse-emo and/or white supremist?

9nHGHTwm.jpg


Mmmhmmm.

All of which are weak to Aelita's team.

Oqd7zX4m.jpg


And did you guys know that there's actually a handy list segregating Pokemon by colour on the internet?

Pretty handy for figuring out what Erin uses!

kPOVlhjm.jpg


I'll segregate whatever I want!

6YSCSEZm.jpg


Anyway Aelita, the only one you actually have to worry about is Risa Raider.

I don't have any intel on her other than she's far too successful at far too many things at once.

But since she's new I'll probably have to fight her in the semis or if she beats you.

oS7s4Zgm.jpg


Yeah!

You won't get a husband if you keep that up.

...

Aside from me.

EF3xuPzm.jpg


So yeah actually, keep keeping it up.

6hxAKrCm.jpg

cyDK24Hm.jpg


Did someone actually hear my mildly sexist remark for once?

Well I'm not going to stop.

EVER.

mU6xH5Am.jpg


And of course he heard all of it.

Privacy isn't a thing when your doors and walls are made from fucking paper.

ZLGvYRGm.jpg

ruMyXkZm.jpg


Oh boy, Souta.

She's a grumpy angsty teen right now and you tell her that you want to protect her?

That's not going to go over well.

6z018p0m.jpg

PvmLweOm.jpg


Well you ARE a prize but I don't think this whole "protecting" thing is as big a deal as you're making it.

Your true self is apparently a demonic psychopath after all.

Which is very rare.

Normally it's my ex-wives who are like that! Not the future ones!

:rimshot:

9BCNFS5m.jpg

9bDIo6Xm.jpg


Normally I'd make a joke that I'm also perfectly capable of handling you, but I think we should focus on the main argument here.

You can handle YOURSELF.

fIlSBpcm.jpg


Anyone can fucking do that.

It's the bullshit this region throws at people that you can't handle.

Even I, the world's greatest at everything because he is literally the only person in the room, can't handle it.

vbjku3Sm.jpg


I'VE DIED LIKE FOUR TIMES ALREADY, AELITA!

THAT'S FOUR TIMES TOO MANY!


sTFfRH1m.jpg


Well that's overly faithful.

Even I have a healthy amount of scepticism when some teenager shouts "I CAN HANDLE MYSELF".

Especially since a lot of Aelita's plot just seems to be about humbling an arrogant kung-fu girl who wasn't ever arrogant!

It's feels like bullying at this point.

lHU5BCUm.jpg


Speaking of handling herself...

I wonder who'd would win in a fight?

Pink or Purple Aelita?

...

Probably Pink.

What with the whole "demonic spirit waiting to be unleashed" or whatever Erin said last chapter.

But maybe we'll just have to wait until the demon spirit is cleansed to fairly compare the two.

Aelita might reach enlightenment and gain some mystic powers or something.

Aelightenment.

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Is your entire bit being interrupted, Souta?

Because you need to fucking stop.

That's MY bad joke.

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"Well because that would ruin the fun/suspense/story/some 4th reason why the protagonists have to always be in the dark in this FUCKING game, of course!"

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...

Yeah, I'm not buying that contemplative look that makes it seem like you're thinking of telling us, Souta.

You're still not going to say shit.

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...

This feels like a trap.

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It's ALWAYS a trap when people freely give information in this game.

We'll probably get the information but it's going to be either garbled nonsense or require us to do some random bullshit to learn it.

It's never anything else.

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Could you SPECIFY what you mean by "know everything" though?

Because I've got a specific list of stuff I want to know.

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A list so long it turned it into a hardback book.

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Well first off, I'd like to assure my audience that it's actually my brother's book I'm using as a prop not mine (we're keeping an eye on him, don't worry) and secondly I regret teaching you to read English now.

...

Well for the next ten minutes I will.

...

Okay, five.

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...

Your purpose in life was to explain things to a bunch of young people born decades after you?

...

That's rough, buddy.

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NO.

FRIEND, SINGULAR.

SEAN IS THE SUPREME FRIEND AND ALL SHE NEEDS!

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Oh okay, Erin's kind of involved in all this so she can come.

...

Was kind of weird that she left her room first though.

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And by "figure out" she means try and get us out of it.

But not me.

I pretty much threatened her life if she even THOUGHT about taking me out of a highly televised tournament where I get to flex on the region.

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What like in the hallway?

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What an unnecessary thing for them to do.

Why not just have it be in the Central building?

...

What does the Central building even do anyway? You'd THINK Cassandra would have her offices there...

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OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

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WHY!? WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO BRING HER FUCKING EVERYWHERE LIKE SHE'S MY FUCKING MASCOT!?!?

WHAT THE FUCK WOULD SHE POSSIBLY HAVE TO DO WITH THIS?!?


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But fuck you for forcing us to include Melia.

This is like my parents forcing me to take my annoying little sibling along when I'm going to hang with my friends!

I DIDN'T GIVE BIRTH TO THEM, MOM!

THEY'RE NOT MY RESPONSIBILITY BECAUSE YOU WANT ALONE TIME TO MAKE YET ANOTHER ONE WITH DAD!

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IT IS A PROBLEM!

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MY FRIENDS ARE ALL TEENAGERS, SOUTA!

IF I DON'T KEEP UP THE FAUX COOL GUY PERSONA THEY'LL ALL LEAVE AND GO SKATEBOARDING WITHOUT ME!

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I grew up in the 90's.

Bart Simpson, Dennis the Menace in the Beano, Tony Hawk, nearly every protagonist in nearly every shitty American kids movie...

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The amount of skateboarding propaganda pumped into my child brain from kids movies and tv shows was immense back then.

Personally, I've never ACTUALLY seen the hype behind them.

Looks far to easy to hurt yourself while riding one.

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Ew no, that's, as the kids say, gay.

The best way of showing how cool you are to pre-teens is a complete disregard for your health and safety.

Besides I've lived on a mountain most of my life.

Only place I'd be skating to up here is a fucking funeral home.

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Oh?

You thinking of something, Aelita?

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...

Huh.

That...IS fucking weird.

I guess maybe he can sense her Melianess from here?

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Either that or that big eye on his staff isn't for show and let's him spy on people.

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I know.

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Do you think it let's him see women bathing?

If so I'll have to confiscate it.

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For...moral reasons or course.

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For...moral reasons?

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Suuuuuuuuuuuurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeee, buddy.

I getcha.

I'll keep this little bit of *wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge* a secret from Bloom for ya.

...

Well I would if she wasn't standing right behind you.

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I told ya.

Nothing beats messing with that uptight ball of vines.

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...

I hit her with a brick.

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I hit her with a brick so hard she became brick.

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The news reporters have been calling it "The Brickening".

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And who here is doing that?

I think the only ones of the main cast who don't give much of a shit about it are the ones in this building.

You've still never met her, Erin's never really interacted with her much and I'm kinda glad she's gone.

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Well first I think I have to got Austria and a turn into the Sutenland?

Then it's straight onto Poland?

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To grandmother's house we go?

Does our horse know the way to carry the sleigh through white and drifted snow?

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Uh...

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So she decided to completely ignore what Erin said last chapter about "stay with someone you fucking nutcase" then?

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*Sigh*

What am I going to do with that girl?

...

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Well cure her obviously.

Don't know why I even rhetorically asked that rhetorical question.

...

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...

...

...

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Title Card! I choose you!

To save me from this awkward silence!

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Derogatory Trainer said:
Yeah but don't some entrances not appear unless you do the switch? V13 could have changed all that though.
most of them were just things you had to surf/drift through so it's not so farfetched (disregarding the fact that that's not how fly works.). And she could just be going along whenever you flip through the mountains "emotion's"
Yeah. It's honest bullshit that she gets to do that on Terajuma. I think this game need to rely on roadblocks that aren't blocked by HMs.
Like "a cave collapsed and it's going to take some time to clear the debris" kind of stuff and not "two small easily climbable Rock smash rocks bar your way". It'd be much easier to stomach than nobody else being stopped by them and saves us from asking the logical questions like "Why doesn't Melia just fly us over the lava gap one by one"?

Derogatory Trainer said:
Actually angered me for a moment there, but then I remembered Rose was the name of the fat Tony Stark guy.
not so fun fact, her name is the only reason she isn't your #1 pokemon to me. Yes I know it's petty, no I'm not sorry.
I would be fine with it if you didn't say you weren't sorry.
You WILL be sorry now.

Derogatory Trainer said:
I don't think you can really compare the two.
Lysandre was a fucking nutcase even by Pokemon villain standards. Him and Cyrus are in a league of their own because despite being nutcases their plan would have worked the way they intended unlike Maxie and Archie.
I understand that Lysandre's plan would work, the problem comes with the aftermath. The only people left alive would be the ones he probably doesn't WANT alive.
That's the thing. I don't think he intended for them to survive.
Like take the criteria for joining Flare. You have to pay millions to even join. No other Team in Pokemon does this.
I think it's all a scam so Lysandre could get more (discreet) funding for his doomsday device. He's a genuine cult leader.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Yeah. I've heard that too.
That a lot of the V13 story plot is needlessly overcomplicated and uses super special nonsense machines instead of just using a Pokemon that could do the same.
ngl I legit zoned out during one of the explanations. Like I wouldn't be able to tell you what was said during a 10 minute interval it was that bad.
God I can already feel the headache incoming and I haven't even played it due to the whole screenshot thing.
Derogatory Trainer said:
Half expected them to try and inject me on the way out as well.

The whole Xenpurgis thing (assuming that's what it is at least)...Obviously it's gonna do some bad shit to people but I wonder what the real difference between the colours of the serum was in the end?

Guess we'll never know now since Jan was afraid that it was TOO topical and got rid of the injections...
so is that actually what happened or is it only canon to the Derogatory Universe?
I think Jan actually removed it because of Covid and I guess didn't want to be seen as an "anti-vaxxer" on the internet.
Because that would be problematic or some shit.
I'd be fine if he got rid of it after realising it was completely stupid to just accept a train worker injecting you without your consent.

Derogatory Trainer said:
fqOjNKZm.jpg


"Rose Theatre", eh?
Click to expand...
oh... didn't know it was named that... now I get to hate an inanimate building... WHAT FUN.
Hopefully nobody ever gets you a rose for valentine's day.
I can only imagine the (hilarious) disaster that would be.
Especially if you tried to explain your reasoning behind it all.

Surprised Rose isn't getting territorial over this.
Why would she? It's harmless teasing from a Bro-kemon.
Her problems with Destiny and Sazzle Dazzle is that they think they can REPLACE her.
That's what really ticks her off.


I am now imagining a dandelion giving birth to an egg... whyyyyy.....
...
Yeah that's my question too.
WHY did you imagine THAT specifically?
Also Sunflora exists, you know. It's not THAT crazy.
(Even if Eggs only appear because Arceus wills it or whatever the fuck is the deal with them)
Derogatory Trainer said:
Because there's one official artwork who's angle makes her breasts look massive compared to the other artworks of her.
What the hell are you talking about dude? I mean, the last artwork does make her chest seem a little larger but nothing particularly noticeable.
This comes up in the first chapter of Part 4 but...
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Before her "awakening"

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After her "awakening"

Methinks SOMEONE used her newfound powers to give herself bigger breasts.
Which I of course, accuse her of to her face.
THEY GET WHAT!?!?
Derogatory Trainer said:
I don't think that's the scientific definition.
Sounds more like the technical, nitpicky one.
Using the scientific definition of space, it is.
Honestly, I don't care.
I don't care for this. End it.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Because I'm not tolerating this "reforming Bladestar" shit.
That's like Osama Bin Laden's accountant brother taking over Al-Qaeda and saying he'll reform it.
No fucking way would anyone trust that even if it's sincere on his part.
He can reform the former grunts of Bladestar but the organisation dies with Flora.
(who for some reason wasn't executed immediately like Florin was?)
Everytime I hear Bin Laden my brain just goes to "Ojama Bin Laden" and I cannot take that seriously. Ojamas are a crime against humanity perpetrated by Konami so don't look it up.

You think I don't know what an Ojama is?
I've seen GX, I know about those disgusting little gremlins.


Derogatory Trainer said:
The girl I've been beating up and down the region this entire game.
...
That's doesn't sound great out of context but it's still correct!
This run has so many "Sounds horrible out of context" lines it is almost logical.

I'm a Buzzfeed journalist's wet dream.
The amount of content they could get by taking me out of context is staggering.
Shame nobody knows who the fuck I am or would care what I say.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Or god forbid...INVERSE battles.
Those things were the worst. They always threw my rhythm off.
Stay away from Pokemon Insurgence then.
Spoiler
The final boss is an Inverse Battle and the game doesn't tell you that.
So enjoy Mega Kangaskhan.

Is there any fan-games you would recommend that aren't filled with bullshit like that?
Derogatory Trainer said:
Seems like the main purpose is just giving Fate a middle finger and doing whatever the hell I want.
Being the only one with free will seems bad/good enough.
The Interceptor being trapped in a game where I have to do what everyone else says most of the time is pretty ironic.
My mind just went to "Porn stash" but that stuff is mostly hidden in computers and badly hidden "homework" files so it's obviously not that.

Well mine went to weed because I've never known anyone with a porn "stash". Or a weed stash come to think of it.
I guess the weed is more likely for a girl like Lavender.
As for the hiding thing...don't you have your own presumably-password protected computer? Who'd be looking at it there besides you?


Derogatory Trainer said:
I reuse my cardboard boxes so I can put my laptop on them to capture this run at an angle that makes me look somewhat presentable.
Seriously the camera angle matters. People don't want to see nostrils.
Also nobody looks attractive from below.
Derogatory Trainer said:
Fuck it, we'll just say it's magic and stop asking questions.

...

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I've been saying that we do that a lot lately...

I think this game's indoctrination is FINALLY getting to me.
So I've been doing my job correctly.
...Huh?
How is me getting tired of the game's magic bullshit part of your job?


Derogatory Trainer said:
So I suppose it's either Stamps or Mega Stones from this point on.
You are right.
Oh boy.
And I bet Full Restores and other GOOD items are on like the 10th floor, right?

Derogatory Trainer said:
That makes it sound like I was lying drunk some gutter or back-alley.

3URvVuvm.jpg
I mean, who is going to stop you? Anyone who tries will just be repelled by your Pokemon because no matter how much they despise you, they don't want you dead.
Who said any of my Pokemon despise me?
And who said I could even DIE?


Derogatory Trainer said:
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One moment, I'll read your mind to get a clearer picture...

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HNNNNNGHHHHHH!!!

NOBODYBRINGTHISMOMENTUPWHENICOMPLAINABOUTMYLACKOFGOODSUPERPOWERSOKAYYYYYYYY????????
I fuckin will because that is my job.
Oh.
Where is your Human Resources department?
I would like to lodge several THOUSAND complaints against you.


Derogatory Trainer said:
This is the final checkmate, Caesar.

I WIN!
What did that ball of vines do to you dude?
He CROSSED me.
Also because it's fun to mess with him.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Aelita's grandmother, then?
Define "grandmother".
Oooooollllddddd woman.
Derogatory Trainer said:
This game will literally drive me to drink.

I can't think of any other coping mechanism for it.
You'd be surprised how well "Burying your head in the sand" works as a coping mechanism.
God that sounds oddly comfortable right now.
Just me and the sand. With nobody to bother us...

Derogatory Trainer said:
WERE THE CHAINS THERE BEFORE THE CURSED DOOR!?
Yes. From birth in fact.
Derogatory Trainer said:
WERE THEY KEEPING SOMETHING LOCKED IN!?
Maybe.
Okay, we BOTH know I know. What is the point in replying to these now?
Derogatory Trainer said:
IS AELITA SECRETLY THE ANTI-CHRIST!?!?
No. If there was an Anti-Christ (btw the common perception of the Anti-Christ is an extrapolation from multiple Bible verses) It would be you, the one who decides the fate of the world.
Oh. Well my perception of the Anti-Christ was always just "Evil Jesus" and I never cared to think further than that.
Technically wouldn't I be both Anti and Regular Christ? Since it's (allegedly) up to me whether or not the world goes to hell?

Derogatory Trainer said:
RUN BEFORE SHE UNSHEATHES HER FEDORA AND TIPS YOU INTO THE GAPING MAW OF M'OBLIVION!!!!
This reminded me of an SCP story where the main villain has a demon servant who manifests as a man in a red suit & fedora. He is shot in the head and banished. When the villain summons him for the second time, I shit you not he fucking tips his fedora.
...
And you're a fan of this SCP thing, why again?

Neat-ish.
Derogatory Trainer said:
Oh no...is Aelita going to turn out to be a magical girl too?
She did inherit Vivian's whole "Feeling the earth" shtick.
Basically she can sense people where I can sense smoke?
Together we become the world's greatest fire-fighting duo.

Derogatory Trainer said:
I feel bad for whoever Lucien, Jean and Mary-Ann are though.
Don't fell bad for Jean. Just don't.
I don't know who that is but I assume we meet him later on?
Derogatory Trainer said:
Obviously someone's fucking with us behind the scenes.
For your information It's the Puppet Master.
No, it's Jan. I refuse to ever accept his in-game character is innocent of anything.
Btw here's an absolutely wretched funko pop: Image
I'm glad whoever made this made sure to have toothpaste in the background so we know that's what it really is.
Derogatory Trainer said:
I'll assume you meant "concept" because I'm not seeing how this game is conceited.
Conceit can be used in this context too! In this case being the conceit of being a Pokemon game and following the framework of the series.
Well it's not like GameFreak are doing anything useful with the IP.
Rejuvenation is unironically my favourite Pokemon game of all time.
Which in itself is highly ironic since I complain so much about it.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Why...would they make that?
My man, stay away from AO3. You are still too innocent. Preserve what little sanity you have remaining.
I don't know if it's a case of innocence or a case of taste in this regard...
Derogatory Trainer said:
Ever considered the laser eye surgery? I haven't because I'm still getting over the disappointment of being told that they actually don't let me shoot lasers out of my eyes when I was 10.
I considered it right up until I discovered that laser eye surgery interacts so badly with my condition that I'd literally have to have large amounts of my eyes removed and new ones transplanted in. Which I'll eventually have to do anyway, but hopefully not for another 10-15 years and by then they should be finished with the trials on artificial corneas.
Jesus. That sucks! I had like a visceral reaction to "have large amounts of my eyes removed".
I've seen the eyes after getting a keratoprosthetic and they kind of freak me out but I think they were the earlier versions with all the holes.
Hopefully when the trials are over you can get a glow in the dark one.
That'd be great for freaking people out.


Derogatory Trainer said:
True but were they by chance POSSESSED BY DEEEEEMONS!?!?!
...
OR WHATEVER THE FUCK HAPPENS IN THIS CHAPTER!?
Yeah well we know how I feel about Jan trying to do anything remotely like an allegory for mental health.
Hahaha I don't know if he actually is aiming for that since most of this characters in this game with mental issues got them from ancient Garufan curses and not shitty circumstances.
Well okay, it's usually a mix of both.
Even Karen used to be a regular trainer before...THE INCIDENT.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Ugh. Nothing worse than teenagers being "deep", like they're the first idiot to have some abstract thought.
Only one thing: Adults who genuinely believe in shit like reflexology. Look, acupuncture is one thing, it's been perfected over centuries and proven to actually help with quite a few physical conditions. The shitheads who believe massaging my foot the right way will 'cure' my autism can FUCK A MILLION MILES OF OFF, PREFERABLY INTO THE HEART OF THE SUN.
Both that an acupuncture are literally just stimulating the muscles which feels good and those signals are transmitted to the brain.
It can't actually change it's structure or anything.
It's basically the same as buying a pretty gemstone in a store run by a woman in a shawl and assuming it heals your dementia or some shit.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Eh. He's done worse.
And will do worse.
Honestly when this run eventually ends, some far-off day in the future, I will legitimately sit down and read the whole run and list off every case of emotional and/or physical abuse and actual fucking war crimes performed in this game so future generations can understand why Australia was bathed with the incandescence of my pure spite to become a continent of superbeings capable of removing Jan from existence entirely.
That sounds...like a very big waste of time.
Like damn.
'S just a game.
Just find where he lives and throw a pie in his face like I plan to.
Somebody might forget criticism but they'll never forget the time they got a slapstick pie in the face.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Nothing is off-limits in these types of fan-games.
Uuuuuuuugh don't remind me, some of the fucked up shit from the Pokemon fan game community genuinely scares me.
Yeah. Like I'll complain a lot but Rejuvenation one is in the upmost highest tiers of Pokemon games compared to some of the OTHER fan games out there.
Like oh god the horror.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Well...it doesn't take a genius to use a fucking flying move on a fighting type.
Yeah but look at all the double battle partners this game has saddled you with beforehand.
Ah yes.
Ms Veronica "I'll use Earthquake with no regard for my ally" Vasile.
Moves like that and Surf should not be allowed on ally trainers.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Like with Gardevoir I can SEE where those freaks come from since it's very...woman-shaped but not Grumpig.
Seriously, stay away from AO3.
GRUMPIG NOOOOOOOO
Derogatory Trainer said:
I'll just throw a couple of aspirin at him.
*cackle* Now that was a terribly deep lore cut you just pulled out there~
I mostly only watched Doctor Who during the Christmas specials and for some reason the asprin line always stuck with me.
Derogatory Trainer said:
Why didn't Doctor Who ever just go "lol no" in response?
Because the Master never used it on the Doctor. And the one time he tried it on a companion with was Peri the bolshy American, who responded by yelling "And I am Perpugilliam Brown and I can shout louder than you!" (Do not start me on companion names in the JNT era, it's almost as mind-blowingly painful as a Moffat episode.)
P-perpugilliam?
I'm pretty sure the hospital confiscates the child off of you if you name them something THAT fucking dumb.

Derogatory Trainer said:
You'll run out of spite before this game is done.
Even I wouldn't be able to match the amount of sneaky "haha I know stuff you don't" left in this game.
My spite is overflowing and limitless. I'm a queer atheist raised in the Anglican church and forced to attend a religious high school. My spite cannot be measured.
captain-ginyu.gif

Derogatory Trainer said:
While I'd LOVE to reassure you that it gets better...
It never really does.
Of course it doesn't, it's a Pokemon fan game.
STILL more interesting to play that the Pokemon games now though.
Derogatory Trainer said:
By god, do I fucking despise Funko Pops.
I own one Funko Pop. It was a gift from my aunt and uncle so it's hidden in the back of my wardrobe as opposed to burning somewhere.
It's a Mr Mime and I made the most unholy sound of terror when I unwrapped it. Those fuckers are creepy enough without being Funko-ised.
Well it can't be that ba-OH DEAR GOD NO!
...People actually buy this shit. Fuck's sake.
There is no end to people buying stupid things.
Capitalism was always where human society was heading.

...you know what, I'm okay with this. You at least got something like a reward for this. Unlike almost everything ELSE this game forces you to do.
Still don't have an explanation for why I was allowed to get the Psychic TM in a dream and not this but whatevs.
Look, bro, we all ship Sealita here but you're being a creeper again.
He has little puppet versions of us in his toybox that he constantly slams together.
Entirely fair. I mean given what we're about to learn I don't blame you for running but going back is super-fucking-awkward.
It's almost a good thing she didn't run away from home because she had a fight with her parents or something normal like that.
I can only imagine it would get much worse if she came back with a strange boy in tow.

They literally just took a screenshot of Clauncher's X/Y model and ran it through a filter and that's basically it. Still, it's a pretty awesome Pokemon to have!
Well I can't really blame them for that. It's just a Clauncher after all. At least it still looks decent.
Aelita, you are the only person in this entire region who is actually likable, of COURSE he's accepting your invitation.
And it's not like I genuinely have anything else to do!
Well maybe look for that whole serial Stoner thing but naaahhh...fun times with Aelita instead!


This autumnal colour pallette is actually pretty good! Still a touch too pink for my tastes but still much nicer than most other areas in this game.
That we've seen so far in this outdated wreck of a run..
You'll be very impressed by the improvements Jan made to the older routes.

sRQjZmWm.jpg

Click to expand...
Bitch I'm not even sure you actually know his name.
Well of course she does.
...
She actually knew my name before I introduced myself back in Sheridan which is very suspicious.


So you're the abusive old fucker who literally turfed Erin out onto the street. I'm keeping my eye on you, one false move and you BURN.
She IS 19.
That's 9 years more years at home than most kids in this Pokemon world get.
Souta's being downright loving in comparison.

NEVER SAY THIS FUCKING SENTENCE TO YOUR CHILDREN.

Literally none of this would've been a problem if you'd chosen to even TRY and be honest with Aelita. If she knew what was going on, or that leaving would put innocent people at risk, she WOULDN'T HAVE LEFT. But instead you lied to her, harassed her, dumped the responsibility for her on your teenage grandchild, and (as we will soon see) caused this entire mess by NOT USING YOUR FUCKING BRAIN.
You probably should say this sentence. Kids are prone to doing very stupid things and it's usually the truth too.
But withholding the truth they aren't ready for is a trickier thing. Especially when they wake up from a coma and are inexplicably evil/psychic all of a sudden.
You can't really use real world standards for shit like that.


Derogatory Trainer said:
WHY IS IT EVEN A POKEMON GAME!?

THERE ARE MULTIPLE MAGIC SYSTEMS IN PLACE IN THIS FUCKING REGION!
FUCKING THIS! WHY IS THIS A POKEMON GAME! It literally hasn't been a Pokemon game since Zetta first turned up with his 'banishing people to dark realms' power! Just admit that the Pokemon conceit is holding you back and make your own goddamn game!
It's a better way to get people to play it before making your own game and riding off the success of Pokemon Rejuvenation?
That's my theory at least. That and he could rework it if Nintendo ever came a-knockin'


YOUR PRESUMABLE GRANDCHILD IS LYING THERE IN A COMA WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU.
Honestly, the one silver lining of Aelita's coma is that she didn't have to hear her grandmother flirt with her old flame.
Thank you, Erin, for saying exactly what everyone here was thinking! Christ!
OLD PEOPLE SHOULD BE CONTENT WITH THEIR WEEKLY TRIP TO FEED THE DUCKS AND NOTHING ELSE!
Derogatory Trainer said:
To be fair...

You only NOW just told her this.

She would have behaved if you told her how serious it was instead of "Hey, you're finally awake. STAY RIGHT FUCKING THERE UNTIL WE SAY SO!"
Everything about this plotline is making me deeply angry. They constantly lie to and loom over Aelita without telling her a single goddamn thing, to buy time to solve a problem that Souta literally caused by deciding to be a foolish slapdash motherfucker and 'break' the 'chains' in Aelita's mind without thinking that a. they were there for a reason or b. that maybe Aelita would like the chance to CONSENT to any of this!
Okay, you might be misunderstanding things here.
Souta didn't actually DO anything to cause this. The coma curse had intertwined itself with the other psycho killer containment curse so it was either she sleeps forever or wakes up and we see what happens. The break thing was my joke pointing out that he called this unlocking right before he screamed "BREAK".
I don't think Aelita's consent matters since she you'd never get it. I imagine she'd say "YEAH. WAKE ME UP PLEASE" anyways.

THISSSSSSSSS. Why is every adult in this region a manipulative emotionally abusive clusterfuck?!
They do say that "We were worried you'd freak out more and become evil if you were too stressed out" and while they were wrong about this being a big enough deal to stress her, a later revelation is definitely big enough.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Why would Texen get Keta's house? That has nothing to do with the league. Keta used to battle people on his front lawn.

I'm going to go over the rules of this League with a fine comb when I become champion.
...Texen fucking STOLE Keta's house, oh shit. You don't just inherit someone's property because you got their job! That house is legally Aelita's!
He didn't just steal Keta's house he built a goddamn gym inside it.
I mean they've got like 2 kilometers more square feet now but it's still a dick move.
LittleMercury said:
THISSSSSSSSS. Why is every adult in this region a manipulative emotionally abusive clusterfuck?!
How else can you write ~drama~ and ~plot twists~?
...
Can you give an answer to that?
Because I'm not sure myself. Where WOULD the drama come from if there wasn't any assholes to fight?
Oh hey, I managed to get back in time for the next half of the game.
cus the area around GDC is where we get the next few badges after all.

Nice to see you still going strong though, and I hope you see it through to the end. in about another 7 years. I'll try to stick around for it all this time.

Reborn and Snakewood when? Also back at 1000th baby.
WELLLLL LOOK WHAT THE CAT DRAGGED IN AND PISSED ALL OVER?
I don't think it'll be the next half chapter wise though. This run will very likely be over 300 chapters long and after saying that I realise I should have been writing a book instead. GOD DAMMIT.

I hope so too. Hopefully I won't get hit by a car or anything until then.


Well for the first it'll probably be when Part 3 is over and for the second, Never.
Aw crap, either I overlooked the notification for this or deleted the email. But whatever, I'm here now!
...
I'm in your SPAM folder, aren't I?

If there is ever a day Rose can lie to you and make it genuine...be very afraid.
Of what? Not like she'd lie to harm me or anything!
Our blatant favouritism works both ways after all!

You know, I WANT to like Lootcrate, but it'd only be remotely worthwhile if it's stuff I'm interested in. And a lot of the boxes have stuff I don't care about whatsoever.
Literally just buy the stuff you want elsewhere. I'm sure there's no small amount of useless knick knacks for sale online without having to get the rest of the shit like Mavel themed shoelaces or something. Do people just like it for the (terribly boring) form of gambling that it is?
I can't say I hate Funko Pops ('cause I have a handful), but I do have a friend who obsessively buys them and only recently has tried to trim down her collection. Aesthetics and cost aside, I never saw the value in collecting a ton of them because they just take up WAY too much space.
Spikesgirl...no...how could you betray both me and the human race like this?
At least you've limited yourself and not lost your mind like your friend.
I suppose they could eventually have value to collectors like Beanie Babies were but I just...hate them for what they are. Consumerist nonsense with no actual value other than what psycho collectors put on them.


...That said, that particular Funko Pop needs to be destroyed. I hate everything about it.
Pretty much anything, clothing, toy or otherwise relating to smoking weed being cool is pathetic.
The whole damn subculture is.

Yikes, I keep forgetting that there actually are 18 badges in this one. Being restricted to eight is burned in my memory.
Imagine it like you have to dance a mile down the road. Not walk. Dance.
And you're just passed the point where you want to die and are grimly resigned to finishing it. That's where we are now.

These kids need a lifelong time out - they're just so weird and naive.
Haha that's actually a really cruel thing to say when you consider that's where they've been this for god knows how many years.
They're weird and naive BECAUSE of the timeout, spikesgirl!

Man, seeing Clauncher made me remember that I was gonna use one in X until I decided to try out Froakie instead. Always seemed pretty neat to me.
Wow. That's uh...there's a rather big disparity going from one of the more forgettable Pokemon of Gen 6 to one of the most popular over all.
I...forgot about Nova too. Oops. But Staraptor's cool, so hopefully he doesn't die anytime soon.
Nova's a she so you were TECHNICALLY right about him not dying anytime soon.
Yeah, your favourites aren't going to have a good time on the final arc of Part 3. Not a good time at all.

And since I won't be surprised if you made fun of ME for having Funkos, I'll just add that most of my disposable income goes towards video games and leave it at that. :P
I think I've been MOSTLY tolerant of your...sick obsession so far.
Ahhhh you've redeemed yourself a little there. I haven't really spend my disposable income on anything myself. Probably will if I ever get a PS5 since I'll have to buy both it and a new TV to play it on. Most of my old videogame time has gone into making this (and other) Nuzlockes.

Aww, that's an adorable story! Real talk, I love Teddiursa and I'm thinking of using an Ursaring for my Brilliant Diamond team (yes, I'm a sucker, can't help myself). Going to have to trade for it as well, but I want to actually train one for once!
I wish I could find that cartridge but I think my mother took it off me and lost it.
(Which is why she'll be going to a retirement home the second she lets her guard down.)
SPIKESGIRL NOOOOOO! DON'T BUY THEEMMMM!!! YOUR REDEMPTION WAS SO CLOOOOSE!!!
Of course you can do what you want but I think they're terrible. They'd be SOMEWHAT redeemable if it was Sparkling Platinum or whatever but no. Let me know what you think about them though. I could use a trusted source on whether they're bad or not.

Ugh, this is exactly like being around a friend's family while they're arguing. Or your in-laws (trust me, super awkward).
I pretended to have taken up smoking once to escape such arguments.
I always conveniently finished my (candy) cigarette when they stopped too.

Ohhh, you've opened a can of worms, Sean. Now somebody (if they remember) will definitely call you out on reading minds.
Well we'll just call it a joke power like everything else.
...
Although I seem to be getting a LOT of them lately.

That's exactly what I thought as soon as he mentioned it. Plenty of potential Ace Attorney references, at least!
Yes. And there'll be more to come what with Flora's trial being a reference to one.
Would punching a few pillows help instead? That would be less bad for your health.
I have a punching bag in my shed. There's no real satisfaction from punching pillows to me.
They're too soft so it feels like I'm abusing them after they've done nothing but provide my head and/or ass with comfort.

Yeah, um... I gotta agree, this mish-mash of plot ideas is a bit...much.
What's that?
IT'S NOT ENOUGH DID YOU SAY!?


Finally, tournament time! Hopefully it's worth getting excited for, even if it's highly suspicious.
Tournament time!
...
In about 60 more chapters.
More if I decided to cover Keta's backstory game.

Uhh, don't? Seriously though, if you ever need a break, go for it! Burnout sucks.
I'M GONNA DO IT! MY HAND IS HOVERING OVER THE DUMB FILLER BUTTON!
I did have almost a year long break last year when I cracked my tailbone so I don't think I'll take anything like that again.
I'll just keep moving forward until we get to Chapter 154. Then I'll rest.
Derogatory Trainer said:
He should have just called himself Du Croissant.
And you could have been Katrina du Croissant.
And then lie and say that your ancestor was from the village where croissants were first created.
...
SO MUCH WASTED POTENTIAL DAMMIT!!!
I could have claimed to be queen of the croissants 😫
Exiled nobility at most, I'd say.
Your ancestor fled from France after his evil younger brother stole his inheritance.
Granted leaving was probably for the best considering what happened to most of the royals and nobility in France.

Derogatory Trainer said:
I don't know...I've always felt there's been a more biological element to Pokemon.
Like if the Pokedex were some large tome you had to write the Pokemon's information into for Grand Sorceror Oak instead of an electronic device given to you by Professor Oak, it'd feel more magical.
I've kind of always seen it as sort of a mix.
Kind of like how if there was a game set in a fantasy world (like with dragons and elves and stuff) but it all took place in modern times. There would still be magic of course, but it be a lot more... organized I suppose.
Anyway that's sort of a good example for how I've always viewed the Pokemon world.
I thought Arceus Legends would be more like that but then they brought out the fucking Arceus smartphone.
Huh. I don't think I looked at it in depth the way you did.
I just seethed with anger that I couldn't physically particpate in the world most of the time.
Like I've just recently started playing a difficulty hack of Ultra Sun and it's getting annoying how much I actually want to move and live in Alola now.



Derogatory Trainer said:
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WHAT DOES SHE HAVE TO DO UNTIL SHE'S CUTE ENOUGH FOR YOU, PIKA!?!?!
Click to expand...
STOP. GO BACK! WE'VE GONE TOO FAR!!!
Nothing will make me think that abomination is cute - the original design at least didn't send me into uncanny valley territory!
Hahahaha. Wanted to see how disturbed "Instagram Hypno" would make you.
Mission accomplished.
Let us never speak of this again.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Hmmm...
You might be a protagonist, Pika. These sound vaguely prophetic.
I don't suppose you have a mystic shaman living on a mountain near your home by any chance? You should go see him if so.
Uhh... do the local weed farmers count? If not then no.
This does remind me though; lately I've been having a reoccurring dream about this island surrounded by a wall of fog, and every night I explore a different part of the island.
I've actually been really enjoying these dreams - mostly because I actually manage to remember them and it's pretty neat just how consistent the exploration of island is.
Sorry "weed wisdom" doesn't count, no.
Jesus, Pika. That literally sounds like the beginning of some Dark Souls game.
Spooky stuff but at least it's peaceful on the island...FOR NOW.


Derogatory Trainer said:
The worst part is when later on the acknowledge that the Normal type badge wasn't official (but it still had the verification chip making it legal) which you'd THINK I'd agree with, no?
Not when the "league administrators" invalidate it in front of me and make me fight Melia for a "real one".
Melia.
The girl I've been beating up and down the region this entire game.
Oh, wow - that hurts to read.
Melia strikes again I see!
For once, it's not her fault this time. It's the idiot Admins who suck at their jobs.
That being said I beat her in the most humiliating of ways. I don't even bother playing fair.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Didn't know you could graduate late from American high school though. You need a certain amount credits or something for a diploma, right? We don't have that here.
Yeah, I was going through a lot as a teenager; I wasn't in a good place mentally so school wasn't priority for me.
I was home-schooled for most of my life anyway though, so making up the credits later wasn't that big of a problem.
Huh. It's very unusual to me. Seems like it's becoming a lot popular these days too.
Do you think you were better off being home-schooled? Given the awful state of American education and the shite they teach in school now.
Like I was blown way by how stupid that Common Core shite looks.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Uh...no.
What I meant was that Metal Coat would boost the Heavy Slam move because it's a steel type attack.
Heavy Slam+Heavy Metal+Metal Coat+STAB, y'know?
There aren't any items that increase a Pokemon's weight. You'd think Iron Ball would but nope.
So you can go ahead and unlearn what you learned. Hopefully it didn't push anything useful out.
... Why the hell did my mind immediately go to it affecting weight and not just boosting steel-type moves?
Let's please pretend this little incident never happened - I have a reputation to maintain.
Honestly can't blame you for it. Heavy Slam is a weird move.
It's not like Low Kick where it uses the opponent's weight, it's how much lighter the opponent is than your Pokemon. It even takes into account the opponent using Minimize and doubles the damage.
Like...does it need to be THAT complicated, Game Freak?


Derogatory Trainer said:
...
You know this means there's going to be a catastrophic upcoming failure though, right?
I'm going to pretend I didn't read this and go on to live in blissful ignorance for as long as I possibly can.
"Catastrophic upcoming failure?" That sounds like an emotional roller coaster for future Pika to deal with.
Why do those damn Absols never show up to warn me of disasters I actually care about?!
It's always everyone else's disasters they focus on!



Derogatory Trainer said:
Funko Pops, you say? Well isn't this a coincidence?
Oh? I wonder this implies!
It implies you're all slaves to the corporate machine maaannnnnn

Derogatory Trainer said:
I know, right? It's bascially just "Beware the Oogedy Boogedy!"
I'm not even sure which part of it sounds dumb. The Xen or the Purgis part?
I'm gonna say it's the "Purgis" part.
The whole thing is awful - like a kid trying to come up with a super cool name, but you could have easily just used "Purge" instead. "Xenpurge" (while still stupid sounding) doesn't sound quite as ridiculous as "Xenpurgis."
Honestly, there's not much to fix this though. Combining any word with "Xen" is just going to sound strange. "Xenannihilation," "Xenexodus," "Xendecimation?" None have the right oompf to convey what the writing is trying to get at here.
... Actually "Xenexodus" isn't awful.
I'd prefer if they worked the word Xen into it somehow. Like Xenihilation, Exenodus or Decimatxen.
It still sounds stupid (like try to pronounce that last one) but it's done on purpose so it's not as bad.
Come to think of it they literally could have just called it Xenocide and everyone would immediately get it.



Spoiler: Chapter Comments
I know she's just turning around to look at the other Pokemon, but this pose makes it look like Rose is holding her tail; you know - like how little kids mess with their hands or something when they're in trouble?
Anyway, it's very cute.
Haha I'm glad you managed to find a deeper meaning in me struggling to edit images of Haxorus into forms and expressions I want.
Damn Gen 5 and it's busy Pokemon designs giving me extra work.
WE NEED MORE VOLTROBS DAMMIT!



Derogatory Trainer said:
I don't understand how people can pay like $30 for a piece of cheap and ESPECIALLY ugly plastic that can't even be used for anything.

That's basically a capitalist's wet dream right there. Someone paying you for garbage.

Seriously, there's something wrong with the world if people have to buy shit like that to fill the un-ending maw inside them that longs to be filled.

Fucking...build a model airplane or something that requires more effort than hiring someone to put up a shelf so you can store more fucking Funko Pops.
Ah, so this is what you were referring to... I mean, they're pretty damn adorable I'm not gonna lie.
I love collectables, but I never buy them myself - I usually get them from family as gifts for my birthday or Christmas.
I own exactly two Funko Pops (Pikachu and Charmander) and the only reason I have them is because my aunt bought them for me last Christmas.
I don't see the appeal as collectables honestly.
I used to collect small Pokemon plastic figurines from the gacha machine in the local bowling alley as a kid, but that was so I could play with them not because I wanted to display them to anyone.
Well your soul can be redeemed then. Not your fault you got a gift after all.


Derogatory Trainer said:
BiA75QWm.jpg


WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO!?

I HAVEN'T SEEN A SINGLE FUCKING SHOWER OR BATH ANYWHERE IN THIS GOD FORSAKEN REGION!

EVERYONE HERE FUCKING REEEEEKS!
Come on, be a man and jump in a river like the rest of do!
You have to make do with what you have in have in front of you. You don't want people to mistake you for a dirty hobo do you?
I CAN'T!
EVERY TIME I TRY MY POKEMON JUMPS IN THE WAY AND FERRIES ME ACROSS!
Getting blasted with water attacks is my only release from this unwashed hell!


Derogatory Trainer said:
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OH!?

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Now that's an interesting find...

I've never had one of these before.

They've got a special ability that boosts move with a "Pulse" on the end of them, right?
Oh, Clauncher is very good!
I've never used one personally, but their ability has always tempted me...
They're one of those Kalos Pokemon I always seemed to have skimmed over. Honestly, I don't even feel I've actually played X and Y with the amount of times I find a mon in that gen I've never used.
It IS a rather unique and cool ability to have though.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Did any of you guys ever see what Octillery was going to look like in gen 2 before they changed it?

f4zLaPW.png


Way more tank-like than what we got, isn't it?
Click to expand...
Also - Remoraid also used to just be a gun.
58e.jpg

*sigh* Oh to yearn for what could have been...
I think the stationary one does the job just fine.

K5oA9nOm.jpg


Such a shame Gustav is already gone.
Would have liked to actually gun down people with him.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Having to climb another volcano.

frlXmW5m.jpg


But with the added bonus of toxic gases and probably Orcs Xen Grunts everywhere!

How swell!
There are a concerning amount of volcanoes on this region.
Is that Team Xen's plan? Make all the volcanoes go boom in order to cleanse the region?
Is that what the "Xenpurgis" is going to be? Lava death?
Nahhh that's too "Magma-ish" for them. And not nearly magical/using bullshit technology for this game.
The Xenpurgis was GOING to be the "vaccine" but now it's less certain.


Derogatory Trainer said:
nIJ1Ogdm.jpg


Oiiii...

If that wasn't said with the slightest hint of affection I might have a problem with being called 'strange', you know!
Click to expand...
Aw, Nova seems sweet.
Compared to (most of) the rest of your team that's actually pretty refreshing!
Nova actually finds me funny. As opposed to those naysaysers, Caesar, Chiller and Zira.

Derogatory Trainer said:
zi2BJfhm.jpg


Aw shit...

Well...back in Gen 2, Ursaring was my favourite Pokemon. (It's a big scary bear, what's not to love?)

And I remember wishing I had one for a starter instead of the mediocre Johto ones.

So when I got Pokemon Crystal I made a deal with my cousin who had the Link Cable.

I'd trade my Cyndaquil or whatever for a Teddiursa Egg from his old Pokemon Gold Version when I got to Cherrygrove.

So yeah. Brought that old girl all the way to Red and back again.
Aww!!! That's adorable!
Damn, I miss the days of innocence where you could just look at a Pokemon and decide that you love it no matter what.
Nowadays it's all about stats and competitive viability 😔
Or course it helped that Ursaring is actually good too.
It's not like Past-Sean was some maniac with a Delibird.


Also Hakon's facial expressions were great here.
He's more expressive thatn the average bear!
Derogatory Trainer said:
Uhhh, myself? Everyone on Team Derogatory does.

Didn't you read the fine print of your contract?

u6lrjmZm.jpg

a7sIs6wm.jpg
... What else did you put in that contract Sean?
Is there anything else we should know about...?
They have to name their first born child after me for one thing.
Some have exemptions of course, like Reinhard having children long before we met or Caesar's Phantump son not being around for me to care what he's called.
...
I also don't have to pay them for risking their lives.


Derogatory Trainer said:
3URvVuvm.jpg


FOR LOOT, FIVES!

I DO IT FOR LOOT!
Everybody knows you find the best loot in the gutters and back-alleys.
Nobody wants to go there, so that means there's no competition for the good stuff!
Nobody goes here but for some reason all this valuable stuff is lying around.
Maybe it's Pokemon with Pick-Up? They find something better so they drop their old crap wherever.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Got a big win with no deaths last night.

b2Ezp45m.jpg


So spirits are high and ready to be SLAPPED down at a moment's notice!
Just as Jan intended.
Ooooohhh it's all downhill from here until Part 4...

Derogatory Trainer said:
You should focus on the REAL problem here.

That being the cataracts you seem to have suddenly developed.

rBrbN5hm.jpg


I mean HOW does she not see Aelita from here?!

Does tunnel vision run in her fucking family or something?
Click to expand...
You know it would probably make more sense if Aelita were standing behind the box.
Then we could just use the excuse that it's a really big box, so Erin couldn't see her from that angle.
We were so close to having this scene make more sense!
Erin's so pissed she has lost all peripheral vision?
That might work as an explanation. It's happened to me before.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Okay, those two DEFINITELY used to fuck.
... Who says they aren't still fucking?
The elderly can have a sex life too Sean.
B-I-N-G-O.

Derogatory Trainer said:
5q7GJvCm.jpg


Oh.

Erin actually called her on it.

Nice.
Huh, Erin has been pretty tolerable lately.
Maybe she just gave a bad first impression - maybe she'll actually turn out to be a cool character!
(I say with hesitantly.)
I've played much further on and I'm STILL not sure what to make of her.
She's odd.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I genuinely believe we will hit every single possible genre of fiction by the time this game is over.

I wouldn't even be surprised if there's a driving segment later on.
Oh, I can't wait to see how the inevitable first-person-shooter segment goes!
... Though I do worry about the consequences of handing you a gun.
K5oA9nOm.jpg


The consequences being we'd get a lot more work done if I COULD just shoot the Xen fuckers!
Derogatory Trainer said:
Can't go for the Tao Trio because I have it on good authority that they're dicks.
Also one eats people. Not a good modern god candidate there.
DAMN STRAIGHT!
Take my advice; they're a bunch of hypocritical bastards!
KYUREM DOESN'T EVEN EAT PEOPLE! THE HYPOCRITE TURNS THEM INTO ICE LOLLIES!

Derogatory Trainer said:
I thought The internet just some never catch on fad when I was younger since it took five minutes to load a 30 second video.
I still remember thinking way back when I was little that the internet was for rich people. We had dial-up for so long just because we lived in the middle of nowhere.
I don't think anyone realized just how big of a thing the internet would become - which is hilarious in hindsight.
Yeah we were the same except we lived in a town in Ireland. Then we swapped that out for a dongle you plug into a USB drive and put a SIM card into.
My speeds still aren't great but it beats those days by a mile.
And now it's ruined because REGULAR people got ahold of it and ruined it with their narcissism and greed.


Derogatory Trainer said:
ixCNLtlm.jpg


HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

i2LdRTbm.jpg


YEAH BABY! THERE I FUCKING AM!

WE'VE GOT OURSELVES A GOOD OL' FASHIONED TOURNAMENT ARC!
Hell yeah!
I mean... it's inevitably going to get screwed up somehow right before you can win, but let's enjoy it while it lasts!
I hope it continues.
It SEEMS like it might based on what someone told me about V13 but who can say?


Derogatory Trainer said:
Please leave a comment below to convince otherwise and I'll see you next chapter where I get hit by a truck and become a postman.

...

Yyyyyep.
... You're messing with us right? I don't recall that happening in this game.
But if you do need a break don't be afraid to take one - we'll all still be here when you get back.
Would I ever mess with you all over something as serious as PACKAGE DELIVERY!?!?
Certainly not.
Oh I don't think I'm pushing myself too much. I just always feel exhausted at the end of chapters


H9V40Pnm.jpg


Thanks, Titlecard.

OQLuyW3m.jpg


I can always count on you to get me out of sticky social situations.

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Whoops.

This is the backyard.

Don't know why I thought I could get out this way.

ALSO I GET THE ZYGARDE CELL IN CASE ANYONE'S HAVING A FUCKING PANIC ATTACK ABOUT IT.

jSdtICEm.jpg


Hell of a view back here.

The sun over the ocean blue...

It's pretty nice.

7FnZsqNm.jpg


Even if the sun looks like Goku is charging a Spirit Bomb.

And that the horizon is a perfectly straight line.

Guess that makes Jan a flat-earther, huh?

BVcT6MMm.jpg


Another nail in the boat-sized coffin I've built for him.

rIkl4gwm.jpg


A Kimono Girl?

Oh right, Erin mentioned they practice here. (And that Aelita assaulted them numerous times)

I wonder if they'll lead me to Luigia in a weird and unnecessary sub-plot like they usually do?

5oCINjcm.jpg


WRITING IS HARD, OKAY!?

O61fcakm.jpg


It depends.

What do you practice?

Dancing? Evolving Eevees? The fine art of love-making?

I can see that "possible" sexual predator Cassandra getting a kick out of the latter.

wfhYekUm.jpg


Rats.

The third option would have been hilarious to see on a parade float.

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v6AMTWCm.jpg


...

Why?

Why did they do that?

rd8UePtm.jpg


Like I get this is a side-quest I have to do, but yeah!

PtIGiuEm.jpg


What kind of performers just fucking wander off around the country less than a week before the performance?

Unprofessional is what it is.

But I'm kind of busy right now and that seems like one or two full chapters worth of content soooo...

63OBgTOm.jpg


Gonna go with a polite "K, bye."

u1GysxFm.jpg


Don't worry I'll come back and do it later.

Probably.

x7lvZsHm.jpg


Okay we all know that "probably" is a big fat fucking yes.

I can't help it. Sidequests are like crack cocaine to me.

Everyone relies on me and then gives me full credit for saving the day.

None of that sharing shit Melia & Co force on us.

FJpClCUm.jpg

Ok5AO56m.jpg

LaAiNtVm.jpg


How about we check out what Route 9 has to offer?

bEhreCpm.jpg

BVUoDlHm.jpg


Oh god.

Vvc6FIRm.jpg

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OH GOD.




iSvQ2Eam.jpg


Well that was an emotional bust.

Guess we're not catching anything around here then.

y7i72yvm.jpg


...

Why yes, I did!

qN2jWn1m.jpg


Behold!

A full head of hair and not a single sign of male pattern baldness!

And that's how it'll stay!

uVgWMFgm.jpg


OR ELSE.

coCkMU0m.jpg


Really?

I have my doubts about you, ya desiccated old corpse.

I can't tell which is more leathery, your skin or your handbag.

xPKyfKmm.jpg


O-oh...

TqEU3Pqm.jpg


Well now I feel like an ass.

I better clear out of this route before I insult any more old ladys.

8jWXK6ym.jpg


Feels like this route would be very popular with them.

The whole Autumn theme would be very appropriate since they're in their own autumn years.

EXjCyxPm.jpg


Luckily, I've still got enough summer left in my for two more decades!

Or whatever the numbers are there.

C9lnAPNm.jpg


Is it like Spring 0-20, Summer 20-50, Fall 50-70 and Winter 70-Grave?

Sxj5Mgim.jpg


That seems accurate anyway.

P3iEMtsm.jpg


Now what was I doing again?

Ah that's right, I have to go drag Melia away from Veronica's bedside for some stupid reason.

...

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Speaking of stupid...

It's that overly anxious girl with dromophobia.

Otherwise known as fear of crossing the street.

...

*Sigh*

3ATl0SIm.jpg


I did say I'd help her in Nightmare City...

Would be downright cruel of me to break a DREAM promise...

sTYoPpYm.jpg


(None of them do though. I've literally never seen a streetlight in Pokemon.)

Which I'm saying internally because that if you learned that it would only make you ten times worse.

C5Bq3cpm.jpg

uE38PM2m.jpg


Do you not know the Safe Cross Code?

Well I suppose not given that there's barely enough cars to justify having one and how this isn't Ireland.

Still you should watch this video.


While this seems cute and all don't forget that Ireland has some of the most brutal Road Safety ads out there.

I'm not linking them here but a quick youtube search will show you what I'm talking about.

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Well...I wouldn't worry about that.

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90% of the people on this planet seem to hang around the exact same spot for the rest of their lives so you won't be seen as a weirdo.

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By OTHER people.

I personally, think you're a freak.

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Hahaha.

"She must suffer".

That's a little sadistic isn't it, Jan?

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Well since I'm both ironically and (worryingly) unironically the biggest force of good in this game, I guess I'll have to help her.

NOT because whatever this is won't progress otherwise.

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But because I'm a good person.

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Yeah?

I don't have all day, you cowardly loser who sucks at everything.

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Wow.

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I'm pretty good at this!

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I should tell stupid people to face their stupid fears more often!

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YOU STUPID COW! DID YOU NOT WATCH THE VIDEO?

I DON'T PUT THOSE IN THE RUN AS "OPTIONS" I WANT YOU TO FUCKING WATCH THEM!

AND YOU DIDN'T LOOK BOTH WAYS EITHER!

THERE ISN'T EVEN A SONG FOR THAT!


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IT'S LITERALLY JUST HOW HUMANS CHECK FOR DANGER!

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Oh Jesus Christ...

She's not seriously stopping in the middle of the road is she?

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HOW HAS THIS WOMAN SURVIVED LIVING IN THE ONLY CITY IN THE REGION WITH ACTUAL VEHICULAR ROADS!?

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Yeah he's not going to help you here, love.

Taking about about three more steps will though.

SO TRY THAT.

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Aaaand she's panicking.

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Is this some pun on "why did the chicken cross the road"?

Only the chicken in question is a damn coward?

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WALK. FORWARD.

IT'S NOT THAT HARD! THIS ISN'T QWOP!

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Oh my fucking god.

Of COURSE someone would just happen to drive by right now.

In a world where seeing a moving vehicle is the rarest Pokemon of all.

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MOVE BITCH!

GET OUT DA WAY!

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...

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So THIS is what it feels like to look like Kanon, huh?

A deer in fucking headligh-

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AAAAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

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Well actually no.

It probably happened much earlier.

I assume.

It's the only way it'd actually make sense.


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I'm not actually going to physically react to any of this because I'm being hit by a truck/getting isekai'd right now.

So I'll need you all to just pretend that the comments underneath the images are what you'd IMAGINE I would say.

Okay?

Okay.

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And this is why I said it wouldn't make sense if it was happening as the same time as all this.

I literally went to sleep and woke up hours later and they're only NOW getting Lavender to the emergency room?

If it was happening at the same time as me heroically saving that woman, we'd have to wonder why the fuck Pokemon get better healthcare than humans.

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I don't know, where do you treat your patients with severe brain injuries?

'CAUSE THAT'S WHERE SHE REALLY BELONGS!

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THESE PEOPLE HAVE NAMES!?

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I just always thought the parents in Pokemon were really big into pigeonholing their kids for future careers.

*snarky audience reply that's something along the lines of "wow Sean's that's pretty dumb thing to believe and no I WON'T give you my credit card information!"*

Alright smart asses in the audience, YOU tell me why every female cop is called Jenny and every female Pokemon Nurse is called Joy then?

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Pigeonholing.

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SILVER!?

YOU'VE RETURNED YET AGAIN!?

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Okay, I know it says MADELIS right there but for a few seconds I genuinely thought it WAS Silver.

It's the red hair, man.

Doesn't help that it's also roughly in the same shape as Silver's.

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...

What the fuck is with the ambulance drivers in this city?

They fucking stopped to pick up Madelis when Lavender was having an asthma attack?!

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Cassandra must REALLY be skimming money off the top if they can't afford to use more than one of the fucking FLEET of ambulances at a time.

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Also Madelis can clearly walk.

The fuck did she even need the ambulance for?

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Take the train, you unimportant hussy.

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"Sure, I got it from a sword that's usually coated in other people's blood a few days ago and I've pretty much just left it fester since then..."

"But that isn't really that big a deal, right?"

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Which is a super strange thing for her to do.

I don't know how they do things here in the big city but mayors making doctor's appointments for random ribbon sellers would raise a few eyebrows back home.

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Also why isn't Madelis on any Most Wanted databases?

I mean, sure nobody actually WANTS Madelis but you'd think-

Actually never mind.

I'm STILL working under the assumption that the police force is in ANY way competent.

God, why can't I just let that go?

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"Speaking of nuts, I Madelis love gargling t-"

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Ah yes.

Just the best doctor in the city treating a small wound on a random ribbon seller that was sent by the mayor.

Everything seems unsuspicious here!

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I'm telling you.

If you're a doctor that knows how to cure every disease under the sun, you can pretty much do whatever the fuck you want.

Who's gonna tell you no?

WHAT IF THEY GET CANCER AFTER TELLING HIM NO AND HE WON'T SAVE THEM!?

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The man's got it made.

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Wow rude.

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I would NEVER have expected a terrorist to be RUDE!

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Violent, murderous and fanatical, sure but rude?!

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Just what is the world coming to?

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SHE ADMITS SHE WAS TRYING TO HELP A TERRORIST!

GET HER!





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Only on the third date.

...

And the last one too.

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Oh yeah.

Once you get the dicks out of her mouth she does nothing BUT mouth off the whole time.

She's the joke bad guy of Team Xen.

Like she's the one nobody is even the slightest bit afraid of.

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It's a little weird Isha did the smart fucking thing and took you, a wanted terrorist to a more secret location for treatment?

...

You know that IS actually weird.

A character doing something SMART for a change.

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Madelis must be special to Isha then.

If she was Jewish her mother would be telling her to go for it.

"Oooooohhh...he's a doctor?"

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Love at first sight is a special circumstance.

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Jesus is that how Team Xen members identify each other out of costume?

You'd think they'd have a secret codeword or handshake.

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"Instead I chose to work in GDC."

"Where Team Xen controls the mayor's office, the police quail in fear of feral child vigilantes and a serial Stoner runs amok, petrifying people."

"SO much more organised."

Also I wasn't aware you could just say "Sorry, Madame X. I can't be bothered to join Team Xen" and survive.

...

Maybe Madame X also needs a super doctor like Isha around?

To cure her multiple STDs?

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ARE THEY FUCKIN'!?!?

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Bah...

Guess he's too much of a nerd to do that.

I'd have to seriously reconsider my opinion of him as a creepy weirdo if he managed to bang Cassandra.

He'd be the first villain in this game that I'd respect.

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Yes, Madelis.

Tell us how a lunatic in a Code Geass cosplay attacked you with a sword.

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PFFFTTTTTT!!?!?!

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Oh you don't know how to cook.

Haha but this whole thing gives me major domestic abuse vibes even beyond my jokes.

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See? Same energy.

I'm unironically liking this Battered Housewife Madelis arc.

It's the funniest shit.

...

Of course legally I have to say we here at Derogatory Industries don't condone domestic violence in any form.

...

Unless it's happening to people we don't like.

Then it's just funny.

And I can't get in trouble for saying all this because it's what you at home are IMAGINING I'd say.

YOU'RE the bad guys. I'm just getting run over by a truck/fighting slimes.

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Yeah that makes sense.

Opens wounds are pretty much self healing after all.

Infection Smfection.

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Why not just spray the thing with a Potion?

Like there's not a single reason they SHOULDN'T work on humans.

They work on every Pokemon from a fucking Caterpie to a Onix, how could they possibly not work on simple flesh?

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...

I wonder what Isha keeps in that refrigerator in the corner of the room?

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Of course, a more normal person's eyes would be drawn to the big fucking safe next to it but...

Well I play a Pokemon fangame on the internet.

How "normal" can I be?

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...?

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And showing once again that she's got severe ADHD.

A random door distracts Madelis.

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He probably would.

I'm not even here and I mind you doing it.

What the fuck about this door has you so curious?

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...

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Okay so, I'd like to take back all the "Isha is a molester" jokes now?

Can I redeem them for some other comedic thing instead?

...

Anybody have any suggestions?

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Well Madelis, this is a little sick girl you're probably going to help in some way to make the audience go "wow, Madelis ain't all bad" so you can redeem yourself.

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Luckily for us, I don't give a shit.

...

About you.

I'll probably help the sick little girl.

She's sick, little and a girl.

Literally the three most sympathetic traits in anything.

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It might only be stronger if she was a sick little Pokemon but then Mr. Molests his Patients would be WAY too redeemable from whatever awful thing he did/is doing.

Imagine having a secret lair underneath a hospital just to save your childhood Pokemon?

Ladies would be all over him!



NARRATOR: And now back to our regularly scheduled complaining:

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And who's the IDIOT who forgot his truck had FUCKING brakes?

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You didn't even *ow* slow down until you already hit me, you prick!

Pretty sure you have to fucking slow down when approaching pedestrian crossings!

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And you know, NOT DRIVE IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ROAD!??

I swear my life flashed before my eyes!

...

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I don't remember being born in a castle though...

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...

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GEE, I WONDER IF THAT MASSIVE SEAN-SHAPED DENT IN YOUR ENGINE BLOCK COULD HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH IT!?!?!?

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The perfect time to sue the shit out of you?

Or more likely, to beat you black and blue?

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...

Are you fucking serious?

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OH WELL A REWAAAARD!

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HEAR THAT BOYS AND THE NOT-BOYS!? A REWAAARD!

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Well that makes this choice super easy!

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OOOH WELL IT'S THE LEAST I CAN DO FOR BEING SUCH A JERK AND SLAMMING INTO YOUR POOR DELICATE TRUCK WITH MY ROCK-HARD BOD!

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...

Why can't you just give me all the parcels NOW?

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I HAVE a bottomless backpack you know.

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Why do you even NEED a truck anyway?

These magic bags aren't uncommon.

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Oh no wait, that would be something that would actually make sense in this ridiculous set of circumstances.

Can't have that!

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So off I go! Derogatory Postman away!

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It's all I could find in the house.

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ALRIGHT! YOU DON'T LIKE THAT HAT!

Jesus...

This is not the way to go if you want to get that muzzle removed, Zira.

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"Nuclear option"?

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Zira, what do you mean by nuclear optio-

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!?!?!?!?!

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...

...

...

...

...

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...

I will remove the muzzle on the condition that you NEVER do that again.




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Yeah, yeah, yeah just shut the fuck up, you stupid ugly piece of shit and sign this for me, will ya?

Says it's to go to someone named "Anne Gee"?

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Yeah, I don't know what kind of surname "Gee" is either.

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Or why she's ordered so much lube and an Arceus-shaped dild-

...

Oh.

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Well, I'm going to go ahead and repress this now.

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Yeah.

I know.

I can read.

I also looked inside.

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Is that illegal or am I good?

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I'll assume I'm good and will keep doing it.

Oh hang on...

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Thank you for choosing SPU Delivery service as your delivery provider!

We accept no responsibility for damages your package and/or pedestrians may have received during transit.

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S.P.U!

Speedy, Packaging and something that begins with a U!

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...

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*A-hem*

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...

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Look, I know it isn't customary to tip your delivery man but if you don't, I'm going to rob you.

That was PREMIERE service you just got buddy and you better be prepared to pay for it!

...

Oh and no, I don't care if you leave me a bad review on Yelp.

This ain't my fucking day-job.



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Oh, I actually know her.

I suppose that'll get her the courtesy of me not rummaging through her package then.

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And not her place of residence?

Well whatever. Easier for me.

....

Plus I don't have to meet the mother that she domestically abuses.

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Hopefully she didn't order anything embarrassing.

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Also how come none of these packages contain live humans like the ones from the Puppet Master?

Is the SPU involved in human trafficking or not?

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Jan should have put a couch in this place that was OUR group's couch.

People would actually give a shit about Mika's if it had a Friends reference.

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Heyyyy, Patty.

Got a big, hard package for you.

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...

That came out wrong.

I've got your male.

...

...

Jesus fucking Christ, what a terrible and comedic place to accidentally make a typo.

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Yep.

This is your MAIL.

And I didn't even jostle or kick it!

...

Much.

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"Limited edition" Another marketing scam.

At least when 3-D printers become mainstream that shit won't apply anymore.

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At least it looks like some work has gone into crafting this. Not like those fucking Funko Pops.

So we can stay acquaintances then, Patty.

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Lucky you, eh?

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You...have...a collection?

...

*Sigh*

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You can still be my acquaintance, Patty.

Just...don't invite me over to see them.

I won't care.

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Glad to see SOME PEOPLE know how this business works!

I'm glad I won't have to beat you up like I did that other guy.

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And remember, please choose S.P.U for all your pedestrian hitting needs!



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She's a good kid at heart.

Well...aside from the mother abuse but that was just me blowing things out of proportion for funsies.

...

I think.

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It's probably just like how I said Venam is maniacally lusting after Melia and how Karen is now my legal wife.

...

That second one isn't as fun anymore though.

It was more fun to joke about while she was trapped in the Pathetic Dimensio-

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Text-box?

What are you doing here?

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AND where are your words, you indecent slut!?

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Sure thing.

I always have time for you, Textbox.

How're things on your end?

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Uhhh...

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Yo, to you too?

Do you mind?

I'm TRYING to talk to my Textbox here.

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Oh god, you're not another one of Melia's stalkers are you?

Fucking hell...how many of you ARE there?

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And why do you all try to fight ME to get to her?!

Where are MY stalkers, huh?

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WHY ARE NONE OF THEM FIGHTING HER TO GET TO ME!?

GOD KNOWS SHE NEEDS THE FUCKING PRACTICE!

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Oh.

Well sorry man. I don't know an Alexandra.

Trust me I keep up to date on every girl with an "A" name.

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'S kinda my thing.

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...

Oh fuck you, there's weirder hobbies out there.

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Real name?

Hmmm...well can you describe her to me?

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Ah so he means Krystal then.

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That was traditional Garufan clothing? I didn't notice.

I just thought that was just a dress with sleeves.

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In my defence, we both know how bad I am at "Clothes".

Plus I was distracted by all the "traditional" Garufan lightning she was shooting out of her ass to really pay attention to her choices in attire.

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Sorry man, I have no clue.

And I'm not actually sorry.

Fuck off, creep.

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Ohoho? You going to try and beat the info out of me, buddy?

Well I applaud your bravery then.

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Fair warning, my opening moves tend to exclusively aim for the eyes and genitals.

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Funnily enough, I don't make a habit of giving random and oddly aggressive strangers (who somehow already knows my name) information about people I know.

Hell, even if you were asking about Melia, I still wouldn't fucking tell you.

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(Partly because the others would whine at me to get her back if you took her)

Anyway, I've got nothing to say to you, Spiky.

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So why don't you make like a shepherd and get the flock outta here?

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WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT!?!?

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Oh.

That...That's a...

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Shiny Latios.

...

...

...

...

...

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God reeeeeally, dude? You're so insecure that you need a shiny legendary to feel *special*?

And a BLACK one at that too?

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At first, I was like "oh no, a super strong enemy has appeared" but now after seeing your edgy OC Latios pretty much any intimidation factor you might of had has gone out the window.

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It is not an intimidating Pokemon, D-Bag.

It's a dorky looking bird/plane hybrid.

That funnily enough, was almost the final form of the Torchic line.

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Neat, huh?

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At the train, yeah?

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Yes...but how did I see that?

Do I ACTUALLY have eyes on the back of my head?

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Or are these glasses actually a screen connected to a drone that's always following the plot?

Seems like the more likely option.

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Cool.

You should write a self-help book about that.

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"How to Make People Not Care".

It's working wonders for me already.

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Yep.

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And a liiiiittle bit of "I don't like this guy's attitude so fuck him".

But you can probably add that reasoning to most of my actions in general.

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We had a little dance together in an ancient Garufan tomb.

And if that don't say "friendship" I don't know what does.

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...

Jesus, I know I complained about people saying this tired old meme before but...

That escalated quickly.

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...

Is that the Man with No Name's revolver?

From all those Clint Eastwood movies?

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Oh so it's a person that's the weapon with no name?

...

Oh so it's NIM he's talking about. Alexandra (or at the time Krystal), mentioned she was travelling with her.

And we did find Nim on Route 2 near where we found Alexandra in Amethyst Cave. Just much earlier.

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But she's hardly a weapon to end the world.

I mean yeah she has phenomenal psychic powers but so does a fucking Alakazam.

And Nim's way cuter than those things.

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How about...

No?

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Literally nothing you have done so far has made me believe or trust you, Damien.

You came up to someone you've never met and got mad when he didn't immediately tell you all the juicy details about a woman he knows.

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Nim on the other hand, saved one of my lives,Aelita's only one and warmed my heart.

Alexandra did the same on the train minus the heartwarming bit.

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So forgive me, random grumpy stranger, if I side with them over you.

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Yes but guess who feasibly CAN protect Nim forever?

A guy who can't die.

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Don't know WHERE you would get one of those though.

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Ugh...

Typical brown people right, audience?

Always telling us to kill our friends to save the world.

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Just typical.

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*Sigh*

Wonder how many more deliveries I'll have to do?

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Although that takes a backseat to me wondering why the FUCK I'm still doing this in the first place?!

He hit ME with his fucking truck!

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Hmmmm...

Perhaps conversing with my fellow bench sitter will get my mind off of things?

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I suppose you're right.

But stranger danger really only applies if they're more dangerous than you.

And since I'm the one with several eldritch objects in my bag, an elite team and an all around general aura of malice...

I think you should be careful.

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Oh right, you meant something other than my self-flattering ramblings as usual.

And yes, it's dangerous but you have to look at it from an evil tyrant like Cassandra's point of view.

It's much easier to contain an uprising if everyone lives in the one district.

Which I'm pretty sure is the actual reason for it.

Coincidences are just unknown plots after all.

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Your point BEING?

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Careful Nova, I'm starting to actually like you.

...

Which in turn, is now making me INCREDIBLY suspicious of you as well.

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Yeah.

I'm super fucking glad you got 5-stars on Yelp after hitting me with your truck.

Just thrilled, really.

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...

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This is a box full of women's lingerie.




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YO! I GOT TWENTY THONGS AND TWENTY LACY BRA'S HERE FOR A-

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Is it?

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No, it says here that these TWENTY THONGS and TWENTY BRAS are for the person behind the front de-

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...

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Gross.

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Is it about your underwear going missing?

Because I might have already found the culprit.

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Is there a Meowth stuck up a tree? A jar of honey that you can't get the top off of?

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You have to understand, I have a very low opinion of you and your profession.

What you consider a serious problem will probably be nothing to me.

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Oh?

Well why didn't you say that earlier?

I love help requests!

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...

No...wait...

Wasn't it the opposite of that?

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Well...they're good entertainment for the audience at least?

...

Unlike this last segment because I've already talked to this Officer Jenny before in Chapter 116.

I just forgot.

...

Whoops?




8MPlnecm.jpg


Anyway, fuck walking back.

T43gpkVm.jpg


Why walk when you can sit on an underground metal tube for five minutes?

J8w66Z6m.jpg


It was not.

It was a disturbing look into the life of one of the people supposedly protecting this city from crime.

eOGsOTUm.jpg

IeNH6nym.jpg

M4OxNb5m.jpg


...

Well good job sucking at your job even more.

I think you've lowered the bar SO much that Lucifer himself keeps hitting his horns off it on the way to the kitchen.

...

Hell's Kitchen.

yuluUqxm.jpg


Why didn't you forward the package onto them then?

Or give it to a Spearow and get a plucky young trainer to deliver it for you?

...

Does "left the region unexpectedly" mean "murdered in secret by Team Xen/Bladestar/Trappus/Anti-Assist/Sean by accident"?

EDFF3r7m.jpg

JFsoy7um.jpg


Wait, wait!

FemISnkm.jpg


Don't you want to set up a Youtube channel so we can do an unboxing video first?

Think of the views, man!

The nonsensical amount of views just for opening a FUCKING box!

yXusv36m.jpg


...

Yeah, you're right.

That is pretty fucking gay.

I hate that the world rewards that more than me shouting at a blonde videogame teenager.

3Hr4w6hm.jpg

qdaND19m.jpg


...

DrUbDoHm.jpg


Did I get hit by a truck and run all around delivering packages for a bottle of FUCKING MOUNTAIN DEW?!?!

j8MhPcQm.jpg

xrYnyIEm.jpg


Ugh, so I have to expend MORE energy on this farce?

Can't I just put some googly eyes on the bottle and call that a Pokemon instead?

It's what Game Freak would do...

4GtHXYB.jpg


Oh wow.

PAhxSf3m.jpg


I was trying to be condescending but I've accidentally created a masterpiece.

IF ANYONE AT NINTENDO AND/OR COCA COLA IS READING THIS, I DEMAND 6.7 MILLION DOLLARS TO USE KROKA KOLA!

HE IS MY OC! DO NOT STEAL!

jbj0b7Zm.jpg

BvPPz1Tm.jpg


Or you're going to do what most people in this region do.

Give it to me.

VJmAnuVm.jpg

ESFfzS5m.jpg


"MUCH" is the wrong word there.

Try "SLIGHTLY"

It's a MUCH better fit.

dQk69qsm.jpg


So you said to pour it in a cool damp area, huh?

Like under a sink or something?

NBaXKewm.jpg


Pretty sure spilling Mountain Dew anywhere and leaving it could be considered a war-crime, Postman Pete.

L1to3q1m.jpg


The recycling center?

To pretend to help save the environment while mainly just patting yourself on the back?

Instead of doing real things like stopping Team Magma from turning the entire world into fire?

DTSzY6om.jpg


Oh?

Must be the east part I haven't explored yet.

J0ZT4eRm.jpg


Hang around in dank caves a lot do you?

Did you use to be a Hiker?

And then lost so much weight that the Hiker's Association had to kick you out?

Zie9Lzcm.jpg

QP2NmvEm.jpg


...

That's...appreciated...but it's a weird thing to imagine you doing.

Just a guy spraying some Mountain Dew in a cave and then leaving.

nz1I1abm.jpg


Wait just a minute, you fucker!

This thing might not even work?!

bLEBiQCm.jpg


HEY GET BACK HE-

ih9MyLEm.jpg


AGHHH!

SJWU43Sm.jpg


FADE TO BLACK NO JUTSU'D AGAIN!?!?

uaWZYrsm.jpg


...

Well that was an unwanted distraction.

82WiAiTm.jpg


Ach...

Okay, I'm pretty sure all of my arm bones are fractured so I'm gonna call it here.

Tr0ZbVam.jpg


I think if I drink enough of the Moo Moo Milk they'll heal by the time the next chapter is up?

That's scientific right? They've got calcium and whatnot...

Whatever.

BKk6AyTm.jpg


I'll see you all next time!

I'm sure it'll be very humerus as usual!

...

b0oWJGom.jpg


God, I hope that got at least a small chuckle or else I've broken my arms for nothing.


Hot damn.

We've made it all the way to Chapter 123.

...

Do new people actually get anywhere with this run? Like can they keep reading all the way from Chapter 1 to here or do they just give up and pass out?

Because on one hand I want to call them weak and spit on them for DARING not to catch up...

But on the other hand, even I haven't re-read most of this run. It's a LOT of reading since you have to read the screenshots as well.

BUT on the OTHER vestigial hand that my parents had removed when I was born...

Why the fuck am I writing this? Those losers never made it this far!

Unlike you, the brave and the bold who managed to put up with me for so long.

I'll see you all next time this happens in Chapter 456! Hahahaha!

Ha...

Dear god...you think that's actually going to actually happen?!

...

...

...

Also I never had the hand thing. I was born perfect.
 
Last edited:

No-name

Conqueror of the Azalea Gym
Pokédex No.
603
Caught
Jul 31, 2019
Messages
222
Location
Nowhere significant
Nature
Serious
Pokémon Type
  1. Fighting
  2. Normal
Pokédex Entry
Likes vandalizing school buildings and is quite proud of doing so.
Is there any fan-games you would recommend that aren't filled with bullshit like that?
Well, most high-effort fan games tend to be on the "throw bullshit at the player" side.
As for the hiding thing...don't you have your own presumably-password protected computer? Who'd be looking at it there besides you?
Sometimes my idiot family needs to do business on my computer. Also dude, you realize that porn is free on the internet, right? I ain't having that shit in my computer.
And I bet Full Restores and other GOOD items are on like the 10th floor, right?
I can't answer because I can't to go to the 10th floor even though I've finished v13.
Where is your Human Resources department?
Doesn't exist
I would like to lodge several THOUSAND complaints against you.
Isn't that a LITTLE much?
And you're a fan of this SCP thing, why again?
Because it has evey conceivable genre ever. From fantasy to fetish porn to superhero wannabe and a bunch more.

If you want to lose all faith in huanity, look up SCP-686
I don't know who that is but I assume we meet him later on?
V13 spoilers
I can't help it. Sidequests are like crack cocaine to me.
Kinda like Yugioh, which is crack cocaine in trading card form.
I literally went to sleep and woke up hours later and they're only NOW getting Amber to the emergency room?
Amber, what? They're carrying Lavender
Alright smart asses in the audience, YOU tell me why every female cop is called Jenny and every female Pokemon Nurse is called Joy then?
Game Theory made a video saying that Nurse Joys are actually human-shaped pokemon.
I don't remember being born in a castle though...
What does this have to do with anything?
We accept no responsibility for damages your package and/or pedestrians may have received during transit.
Ah, so Breekon & Hope Delivery, gotcha.
S.P.U!

Speedy, Packaging and something that begins with a U!
You aren't the SCP Foundation, you don't need an initialism for everything.
Why walk when you can sit on an underground metal tube for five minutes?
Because said metal tube costs money?
Don't you want to set up a Youtube channel so we can do an unboxing video first?

Think of the views, man!

The nonsensical amount of views just for opening a FUCKING box!
Seriously, why the fuck are those so popular?

Zira's attempt to make you remove her muzzle is a crime against humanity.

Nova is in the "sane" category, for now at least.
 

Decibel575

Hidden but not so Hidden Lurker
Pokédex No.
487
Caught
Jul 12, 2019
Messages
109
Nature
Timid
Pokémon Type
  1. Fairy
  2. ???
Pokédex Entry
Legends say that you may find this elusive creature hiding in the screenshot section, roaming the Terribly Titled threads
So I don't know how many readers have played the game or are just reading your run, but we've finally reached the point of Bad End territory.

Also having the third piece to a certain Xen admin puzzle which I can't remember is really explained in the game proper.

Like how Maman was Neved's wife. How Neved left them in order to earn money to cure their disease. How Isha promised to cure their daughter only if Maman hid away from the rest of the world as to not ruin his perfect record. That kind of puzzle that I can't remember is explained or not properly

Though, to answer your question about newcomers, I did reread this run, and Reborn not too long ago. When I had more time. So yeah, I'd call any new readers who don't make it this far weak.
 

Sovereign One

The Supreme ruler that never does anything
Pokédex No.
4284
Caught
Apr 19, 2021
Messages
58
Location
In bed
Nature
Sassy
Pronouns
He
Pokémon Type
  1. Dragon
  2. Fighting
Pokédex Entry
Doesn't understand sarcasm yet is quite good dishing it out, he always laughs at inappropriate times,
bPSHbosm.jpg


...

Your purpose in life was to explain things to a bunch of young people born decades after you?

...

That's rough, buddy.
Worst part is that isn't even wrong... oof
KdcwUysm.jpg


OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

tAd3kOkm.jpg


WHY!? WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO BRING HER FUCKING EVERYWHERE LIKE SHE'S MY FUCKING MASCOT!?!?

WHAT THE FUCK WOULD SHE POSSIBLY HAVE TO DO WITH THIS?!?
Oh Sean... you should know by now that you'll never be able to escape from her.
I would be fine with it if you didn't say you weren't sorry.
You WILL be sorry now.
Oh ho!!! Is that a challenge? If so, you better bring your A-game.
That's the thing. I don't think he intended for them to survive.
Like take the criteria for joining Flare. You have to pay millions to even join. No other Team in Pokemon does this.
I think it's all a scam so Lysandre could get more (discreet) funding for his doomsday device. He's a genuine cult leader.
That sounds more like a Cyrus move than a Lysandre one. And like Cyrus, if that were Lysandre's plan then we probably would have been told about it.
Hopefully nobody ever gets you a rose for valentine's day.
I can only imagine the (hilarious) disaster that would be.
Especially if you tried to explain your reasoning behind it all.
look I know it's unreasonable, but let me put it like this. I really don't get angry at things that often. So when something or someone actually gets me to that point... I WILL REMEMBER IT.
...
Yeah that's my question too.
WHY did you imagine THAT specifically?
because pokemon, where you can have a skitty and a wailord make an egg together... I couldn't think of a better way to put that.
So I know that was another one of those scenes you put in, but why could I see that actually happening in this game?
If I didn't know that you wrote all of this in advance I would assume you stole this idea from Pika.
huh... he shows himself here? in V12 (when I started playing Rejuv) we first meet him in the hospital, and in V13 we meet him as we leave it... not sure which one I like better.
Do new people actually get anywhere with this run? Like can they keep reading all the way from Chapter 1 to here or do they just give up and pass out?
My experience with it is that I first found this run as you fell into the unown pathetic dimension. After reading that and laughing my ass off I decided to give the rest a read. It took me like six hours to binge through everything (yes, that includes reborn) and I haven't laughed like I have watching these in ages. So thank you for making these, sometimes they really make my day.
 
Last edited:
Pokédex No.
927
Caught
Oct 22, 2019
Messages
180
Location
In the library with many good books
Nature
Timid
Pronouns
They/Them
Pokémon Type
  1. Bug
  2. Psychic
Pokédex Entry
A very small trash boy last seen clawing themself out of the gender dumpster.
How did Eldest know that our names were going to be called out on the T.V moments before they actually were?

Are we 100% sure the curses on Aelita aren't Eldest-related? Because she's more suss than an Imposter standing over the body of a Crewmate when the entire rest of the crew walks in.


They definitely should've told you a shitload more than they did. Honestly the more secrets they keep the more uncomfortable I get with how they've been treating you... I've calmed down a lot since last episode but I'm still fumingly pissed off.


Stop. Saying. That. You can't protect someone if they don't know what they're being protected from! Sooner or later you won't be there and they won't know what to be cautious of! Fuck's sake man, we have literally entire genres of fiction about why coddling a child/teenager like this is a bad idea!


Because Souta and Eldest fucking SUCK. At least Erin was honest with you when you asked for the truth.


No, fuck you, fuck off. I don't like Melia or Venam but if you think anyone would drag a grieving friend from the bedside of the person they seem to care about most just for a stupid competition, you're a fucking asshole.

Either that or that big eye on his staff isn't for show and let's him spy on people.

WHELP. Not going to be able to forget that theory!

Well it's not like GameFreak are doing anything useful with the IP.

*siiiiigh* I mean you're mostly right... I just want another Pokemon Conquest. PLEASE. Of all the games to not get a sequel it had to be the actually pretty creative one! Fuck's sake, farm it out to Koei, they own the Samurai Warriors half of the franchise and they only make good shit when someone else hires them these days!

I've seen the eyes after getting a keratoprosthetic and they kind of freak me out but I think they were the earlier versions with all the holes.

Honestly I kind of WANT a creepy ass silver one with holes in, because my ability to weird people the FUCK out with my blank stares will increase 300%!

Somebody might forget criticism but they'll never forget the time they got a slapstick pie in the face.

I want to be frustrated but you're right, people really never forget being pie'd for no readily apparent reason.

Yeah. Like I'll complain a lot but Rejuvenation one is in the upmost highest tiers of Pokemon games compared to some of the OTHER fan games out there.

Yeah, which is kind of depressing in and of itself. So many of them are trying so very hard to be 'edgy' and 'mature' that they loop around into pathetically childish. Or, god help me, Reborn.

I mostly only watched Doctor Who during the Christmas specials and for some reason the asprin line always stuck with me.

Huh, it must've been in the one I missed when I was going 'Fuck you, Moffat, for trying to make this show appeal to the Americans'. Because the reason I thought it was a deep cut is because it hadn't been mentioned since 1971!

P-perpugilliam?
I'm pretty sure the hospital confiscates the child off of you if you name them something THAT fucking dumb.

Yeah, Peri had a really shitty time of it and it started the moment John Nathan-Turner was allowed to name her.

That we've seen so far in this outdated wreck of a run..
You'll be very impressed by the improvements Jan made to the older routes.

I have been pleased whenever you've gone back to older areas, the sprite work in this game is mostly top class these days.

She actually knew my name before I introduced myself back in Sheridan which is very suspicious.

...I was only kidding at first but now I'm starting to think Eldest really IS some kind of evil.

She IS 19.
That's 9 years more years at home than most kids in this Pokemon world get.

Well yeah, but he still literally shoved her out of her home and told her she wasn't allowed back inside until she brought Aelita back. So my point still stands, he's a vicious old bastard and I hate him.

OLD PEOPLE SHOULD BE CONTENT WITH THEIR WEEKLY TRIP TO FEED THE DUCKS AND NOTHING ELSE!

Look old people can fuck where on when they want, I'd be uncomfortable with that turn of conversation coming from someone of any age or attractiveness level. It's gross to say stuff like that in front of people outside the relationship! They didn't consent to being witness to the foreplay!

I can't help it. Sidequests are like crack cocaine to me.

Everyone relies on me and then gives me full credit for saving the day.

None of that sharing shit Melia & Co force on us.

Especially considering how often their 'help' ends up killing your Pokemon!


Yes, yes she does. Her mouth is a sewer and her words are Garbodor droppings.


knife-in.gif



Oh, am I going to enjoy the continuing consequences of Madelis' shitty behaviour!

I will remove the muzzle on the condition that you NEVER do that again.

PLEASE. That's going to haunt my nightmares!

zi49lcym.jpg


In my defence, we both know how bad I am at "Clothes".

Also the sprites are not exactly detailed so. I would live in robes if I could and I thought she was just wearing a dress.

Funnily enough, I don't make a habit of giving random and oddly aggressive strangers (who somehow already knows my name) information about people I know.

It's almost like people don't like assholes who appear out of nowhere and threaten their friends!


Listen up, you edgy motherfucker; You touch a single hair on Nim's head and we will fucking destroy you! She's one of the few people in this shitty region who is actually fun and likable!


...Let Zira eat him.
 

Caleb

Derp
Pokédex No.
2729
Caught
Oct 21, 2020
Messages
1
First timing commenting on a run, figured why not start here
So just started my own nuzlocke inspired by this run, and I have to say....what has Jan been smoking.
The rift pokemon have shields that absorb 2-3 hits per bar and ignore flinch now and its stupid. Sorry for short comment and it being mostly my own complaint there but honestly other than that I can see why you keep coming back to this game despite all the annoyances and I have a whole new respect for you in continuing this
 

spikesgirl1

Lugia Worshiper
Pokédex No.
446
Caught
Jul 9, 2019
Messages
88
Pokémon Type
  1. Fire
  2. Ghost
Gah, late once again! Though, in my defense, Thanksgiving along with other busy stuff kept making me forget this was put up. So, sorry Sean, but no specific reactions this time 'cause I'm tired, lazy, and dreading having to go back to the usual work routine tomorrow.

BUT I will say that I think it could go either way with newcomers sticking with/ditching this run. I'm way behind on a bunch of shows and junk that I want to check out, and it's daunting to think of how much time it would take to catch up. So, hard to say, but I'm still here in the meantime!
 

Paradox Roxy

Phantasmal Chaos Writer
Pokédex No.
2262
Caught
Jul 29, 2020
Messages
2
Nature
Quirky
Pronouns
They/Them
Pokémon Type
  1. Fairy
  2. Ghost
Pokédex Entry
Snarky paradox writer.
LOOK. I was behind! I stopped reading back before you entered GDC!
and I must say this...
AS A WRITER, I CAN SAY YOU ARE A FAILURE JAN
HIDING THE PLOT STUFF AS "PLOT" IS NOT ACTUAL PLOT. I shall murder you when I find you for making an insult of my profession.
Hooo....now, I am so glad I found you back when you first started this run after reading Reborn.
Ehem. So did V13 remove the....ehem...thing about Melia and her powers? It's been like 2 years since I saw THAT in a vid and thus I suspect so.
Look I'm on mobile I dunno how to spoiler in this.
Now I'm off to read ch 123. Someone tell me how to get informed this got updated plz.
Roxy brain tired...
Also how the FUCK did you people get types and change the stuff under your name?! mine's "derp" and I haaate it HOW DOES ONE CHANGE THAT (EDIT: it took me an hour to find those...I really am tired.
 
Last edited:

Bernag

Cybernetic lurker at your service
Pokédex No.
2806
Caught
Nov 1, 2020
Messages
66
Nature
Bashful
Pokémon Type
  1. Water
  2. Fighting
Ehem. So did V13 remove the....ehem...thing about Melia and her powers? It's been like 2 years since I saw THAT in a vid and thus I suspect so.
well both yes and no
v11-13 kinda debunked her powers as in the super strenght she had on the beginning as in no longer exists
and how she attracts shinies as to simply incredible luck

in v13 you get a much muchhh more clear reason for some things on her past like for example if you know about this
like the origins of Melanie (other timeline melia from when you visit the world's end) is much clearly explained in valor mountain and so on

and if you mean her other powers like her transformations and what not
no they weren't remove but its much clearer why she has them, how they work and so long
and they can't be removed form her history because well otherwise some of the plot would not make sense.


AS A WRITER, I CAN SAY YOU ARE A FAILURE JAN
HIDING THE PLOT STUFF AS "PLOT" IS NOT ACTUAL PLOT. I shall murder you when I find you for making an insult of my profession.
All i can say is v12 Jan got better at storywritting
v13 Jan... got things clear. Like everything now instead of random mumbo jumbo. It now makes (almost) full sense.
 

Bernag

Cybernetic lurker at your service
Pokédex No.
2806
Caught
Nov 1, 2020
Messages
66
Nature
Bashful
Pokémon Type
  1. Water
  2. Fighting
butttttttttttttt
i preffer to follow Sean's storyline of how Jan is stupid and a bad writter sooo its how i treat even though its true that the game story got better with time
 

Derogatory Trainer

The hero you don't need but you're getting anyway.
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
315
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
365
Nature
Adamant
Pokémon Type
  1. ???
Pokédex Entry
The most humble and modest braggart you will ever meet.
kuY2P6bm.jpg


We're finally going to see what Axis Academy actually looks like!

I've got a very clear picture of it in my head...

3LL8HaJm.jpg

6VJxANkm.jpg

GAuPLjtm.jpg

KDyBM68m.jpg

ezw1rgYm.jpg

03RwK2hm.jpg

zR92fRgm.jpg

pA4cQQgm.jpg

dyR5Ucsm.jpg

p2wDA4Lm.jpg


Awwww...

My imagination let me down again.

dyR5Ucsm.jpg


...

I probably shouldn't have sounded so disappointed by that.

But I guess this proves they nameded Axis High after the spinning axis and not the Adolf Makuhitler, Hideki Tojolteon and Benito Basculini one.

hgMAvwqm.jpg


...

It was hard to make up something good for that one.

...

Just like it was hard to make a smooth transition into the title card today.

...

Surprise?

edVImsCm.jpg


Derogatory Trainer said:
Is there any fan-games you would recommend that aren't filled with bullshit like that?
Well, most high-effort fan games tend to be on the "throw bullshit at the player" side.
Oh great.
Well I went and played Photonic Sun instead of any of those games.

Derogatory Trainer said:
As for the hiding thing...don't you have your own presumably-password protected computer? Who'd be looking at it there besides you?
Sometimes my idiot family needs to do business on my computer. Also dude, you realize that porn is free on the internet, right? I ain't having that shit in my computer.
Ah, I know that old feeling.
I just got them their own laptop for Christmas several years ago when there was a Buy One get Half Off sale in my local store.
SEARCH HISTORY, No-Name! Who the fuck stores porn on their computers?
REAL pros like me have a false tooth that is secretly holding a mini SD card inside.

Derogatory Trainer said:
And I bet Full Restores and other GOOD items are on like the 10th floor, right?
I can't answer because I can't to go to the 10th floor even though I've finished v13.
JEEEEESUS.
We're like Level 90 by that point right?
WHEN THE FUCK CAN WE GET SOME GODDAMN FULL RESTORES ALREADY!?


Derogatory Trainer said:
Where is your Human Resources department?
Doesn't exist.
No WONDER you've been free to harass me for a dead series for so long!
Derogatory Trainer said:
I would like to lodge several THOUSAND complaints against you.
Isn't that a LITTLE much?
Most of them are duplicates I filed over and over again.
Derogatory Trainer said:
And you're a fan of this SCP thing, why again?
Because it has evey conceivable genre ever. From fantasy to fetish porn to superhero wannabe and a bunch more.

If you want to lose all faith in huanity, look up SCP-686
That sounds like hell to me.
Well I did look that up but luckily I already lost all my faith in humanity years ago.
Now all we're doing is kicking it while it's down.

Derogatory Trainer said:
I don't know who that is but I assume we meet him later on?
V13 spoilers
Oh boy. More of those.
Derogatory Trainer said:
I can't help it. Sidequests are like crack cocaine to me.
Kinda like Yugioh, which is crack cocaine in trading card form.
Nah man. I tapped out after GX.
Synchro-Summons and whatever else came after was just too much for me.

Derogatory Trainer said:
I literally went to sleep and woke up hours later and they're only NOW getting Amber to the emergency room?
Amber, what? They're carrying Lavender
I was probably writing the chapter where she reappears alongside that last one.
Not like I have a beta reader to catch my mistakes after all.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Alright smart asses in the audience, YOU tell me why every female cop is called Jenny and every female Pokemon Nurse is called Joy then?
Game Theory made a video saying that Nurse Joys are actually human-shaped pokemon.
The fuck is the point in all of them having Chanseys then?
Aside from the egg thing they don't use in Centers, Chansey are like the least dexterous Pokemon out there.
Certainly wouldn't want one operating on me.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I don't remember being born in a castle though...
What does this have to do with anything?
SOMEONE just revealed they don't watch the videos I PAINSTAKINGLY make for their amusement.
Forshame.


Derogatory Trainer said:
We accept no responsibility for damages your package and/or pedestrians may have received during transit.
Ah, so Breekon & Hope Delivery, gotcha.
Or just regular unreliable UPS and NOT another one of your obscure references.
Derogatory Trainer said:
S.P.U!

Speedy, Packaging and something that begins with a U!
You aren't the SCP Foundation, you don't need an initialism for everything.
Every GOOD organisation with a multiple word name needs a good initialism!
You don't want to end up working for someplace with bad initialism like the Sanitation Health and Interdepartmental Tidying group, do you?

Derogatory Trainer said:
Why walk when you can sit on an underground metal tube for five minutes?
Because said metal tube costs money?
I've got plenty to burn baby.
I'm one of the few people who can make being a travelling trainer a stable income.
I don't lose after all, only thing my money gets spent on are items (and the occasional Game Corner Prize).

Derogatory Trainer said:
Don't you want to set up a Youtube channel so we can do an unboxing video first?

Think of the views, man!

The nonsensical amount of views just for opening a FUCKING box!
Seriously, why the fuck are those so popular?
No idea.
Like I'd MAYBE understand if it was like a mystery box that could have like an ink bomb (or and actual bomb) go off in the Youtuber's face but not someone unboxing a fucking iPhone 14.
Zira's attempt to make you remove her muzzle is a crime against humanity.

Nova is in the "sane" category, for now at least.

I'd almost prefer her getting to commit her original crime against humanity.
Nova's cool. No reason for her to stop now.
So I don't know how many readers have played the game or are just reading your run, but we've finally reached the point of Bad End territory.
Some have, some haven't and some haven't because of me which I'm not sure I like.
But I assume you're talking about the "Crimson Sea" arc, yes?

Also having the third piece to a certain Xen admin puzzle which I can't remember is really explained in the game proper.
I think it does during the part where you control Lavender.
Like how Maman was Neved's wife. How Neved left them in order to earn money to cure their disease. How Isha promised to cure their daughter only if Maman hid away from the rest of the world as to not ruin his perfect record. That kind of puzzle that I can't remember is explained or not properly
Why didn't he just rob a fucking bank? The police would never catch him!
There are just SO many easier ways to go about raising money than joining Team Xen for life.
Oh well. Still doesn't excuse torturing Aelita.
He's going to die and I'm going to raise Franchesca myself. Or he's going to jail and I'll mail him pictures of me doing fatherly things with Franchesca. JUST TO RUB IT IN.


Though, to answer your question about newcomers, I did reread this run, and Reborn not too long ago. When I had more time. So yeah, I'd call any new readers who don't make it this far weak.
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Spit on those lower life forms, Decibel.
You've earned it.
Derogatory Trainer said:
bPSHbosm.jpg


...

Your purpose in life was to explain things to a bunch of young people born decades after you?

...

That's rough, buddy.
Click to expand...
Worst part is that isn't even wrong... oof
Souta's past actions (or inactions) make very little sense to me.
Why didn't he just hook back up with Eldest much earlier?
Timpea and Spacea hardly said "NO SECKS ALLOWED" right?
Not like he was doing a super job of being a parent or guardian anyways. Hell it might have made him better at it.


Derogatory Trainer said:
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OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!

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WHY!? WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO BRING HER FUCKING EVERYWHERE LIKE SHE'S MY FUCKING MASCOT!?!?

WHAT THE FUCK WOULD SHE POSSIBLY HAVE TO DO WITH THIS?!?
Click to expand...
Oh Sean... you should know by now that you'll never be able to escape from her.
I regularly overdose on hopium and copium.
It's all that gets me up in the morning anymore...

Derogatory Trainer said:
I would be fine with it if you didn't say you weren't sorry.
You WILL be sorry now.
Oh ho!!! Is that a challenge? If so, you better bring your A-game.
I'm contracting a gypsy to put a minor curse on you.
So the next time you stub your toe, get a small burn from cooking or bump your funny bone into something...It was me.
IT WAS ALL ME, SOVEREIGN!


Derogatory Trainer said:
That's the thing. I don't think he intended for them to survive.
Like take the criteria for joining Flare. You have to pay millions to even join. No other Team in Pokemon does this.
I think it's all a scam so Lysandre could get more (discreet) funding for his doomsday device. He's a genuine cult leader.
That sounds more like a Cyrus move than a Lysandre one. And like Cyrus, if that were Lysandre's plan then we probably would have been told about it.
I mean he did plan on firing the laser directly up and back down on his base which would kill them all in Pokemon Y.
He clearly doesn't give a shit about them. I'm only making educated guesses based on the whole "Pay-to-Join" part of Team Flare.
Very cult-like.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Hopefully nobody ever gets you a rose for valentine's day.
I can only imagine the (hilarious) disaster that would be.
Especially if you tried to explain your reasoning behind it all.
look I know it's unreasonable, but let me put it like this. I really don't get angry at things that often. So when something or someone actually gets me to that point... I WILL REMEMBER IT.
"said Sovereign One, vigorously shaking his valentine by the shoulders to make them understand."

Derogatory Trainer said:
...
Yeah that's my question too.
WHY did you imagine THAT specifically?
because pokemon, where you can have a skitty and a wailord make an egg together... I couldn't think of a better way to put that.
I remember reading somewhere that it's Arceus who leaves those eggs.
And that some guy in Kalos said they weren't actually eggs but more like cradles?
I don't know.
Pokemon eggs have so little concrete information on them that I have to wonder what the fuck Elm's been doing for the last twenty-odd years.



So I know that was another one of those scenes you put in, but why could I see that actually happening in this game?
Because literally ANYTHING can happen in the wonderful world of Pokemon (Rejuvenation)!

If I didn't know that you wrote all of this in advance I would assume you stole this idea from Pika.
Ah you mean with Thoron, right?
While there's plenty of ideas I want to steal from Pika, this wasn't one of them.
I just tried to imagine the last resort someone like Zira could have and the OwO shit was what I came up with.

huh... he shows himself here? in V12 (when I started playing Rejuv) we first meet him in the hospital, and in V13 we meet him as we leave it... not sure which one I like better.
I think this scene is optional in all Versions.
Like you don't have to meet him here but you can. I just happened to come across it due to my usual wandering around.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Do new people actually get anywhere with this run? Like can they keep reading all the way from Chapter 1 to here or do they just give up and pass out?
My experience with it is that I first found this run as you fell into the unown pathetic dimension. After reading that and laughing my ass off I decided to give the rest a read. It took me like six hours to binge through everything (yes, that includes reborn) and I haven't laughed like I have watching these in ages. So thank you for making these, sometimes they really make my day.
Ah. The highlight of my career. Fighting anime fights with midgets and a literal child. A great first impression to get.
But have you read the dark and mysterious SNAKEWOOD run that only last for 7 chapters until I just couldn't anymore?
Awww...you're going to make me blush with praise like that. Thanks for enjoying it!
Derogatory Trainer said:
How did Eldest know that our names were going to be called out on the T.V moments before they actually were?
Are we 100% sure the curses on Aelita aren't Eldest-related? Because she's more suss than an Imposter standing over the body of a Crewmate when the entire rest of the crew walks in.
UGH. AN AMONG US REFERENCE!?!? DISGUSTING!!!
And yes, we the people who've played ahead of this run and know what's happened, know that Eldest was just doing her best.
You'll find out by the end of Part 3.


They definitely should've told you a shitload more than they did. Honestly the more secrets they keep the more uncomfortable I get with how they've been treating you... I've calmed down a lot since last episode but I'm still fumingly pissed off.
They should have really told a half-truth in my opinion.
"Hey, you aren't completely free of the curse (as you could probably guess) so we're going to have to keep an eye on you in case you...fall into a coma again"
Like give her a decent and semi-true reason for not letting her roam around free instead of pretending everything was fine.


Stop. Saying. That. You can't protect someone if they don't know what they're being protected from! Sooner or later you won't be there and they won't know what to be cautious of! Fuck's sake man, we have literally entire genres of fiction about why coddling a child/teenager like this is a bad idea!
Jan only wanted to protect us from knowing what the fuck is going on in this region.
"FOR OUR OWN GOOD" he (probably) said.



Because Souta and Eldest fucking SUCK. At least Erin was honest with you when you asked for the truth.
Ah but wouldn't it be more fun to SHOW us instead of tell us by sending us back into the past again?
According to Jan, yes.
Erin's trainer title is literally "Candid Girl Erin" so it's very appropriate for her.

No, fuck you, fuck off. I don't like Melia or Venam but if you think anyone would drag a grieving friend from the bedside of the person they seem to care about most just for a stupid competition, you're a fucking asshole.
Wha?
No, he's not bringing us together for the tournament anything like that. He's going to explain to us what the fuck is up with stuff.
Also what the fuck did you just say?
Tournaments are WAY more important than sitting by a statue's bedside, Mercury! WHERE ELSE WILL WE GET TO SEE MELIA GET HUMILATED IN FRONT OF THE WHOLE WORLD!?


Derogatory Trainer said:
Either that or that big eye on his staff isn't for show and let's him spy on people.
WHELP. Not going to be able to forget that theory!
Good. NEVER forget this theory. It will come up much later as a call-back.
It wasn't in my original draft for the chapter but it's given me a good idea for a joke later on so I'm doubling down on it.


Derogatory Trainer said:
Well it's not like GameFreak are doing anything useful with the IP.
*siiiiigh* I mean you're mostly right... I just want another Pokemon Conquest. PLEASE. Of all the games to not get a sequel it had to be the actually pretty creative one! Fuck's sake, farm it out to Koei, they own the Samurai Warriors half of the franchise and they only make good shit when someone else hires them these days!
I never played that one myself. Personally, I think the people of the Ransei region are just a bunch of weaboo larpers.
Honestly, I think one easy major improvement that Game Freak could make to the mainline games is have an adult mode where the difficulty is significantly higher.
You just decide one day to leave your boring job and become a Pokemon Trainer. You buy some Pokeballs with your last paycheque and go out and catch a Route 1 encounter. The rest of the game can be mostly the same story-wise but just doing SOMETHING for the adult fans of the franchise would go a long way.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I've seen the eyes after getting a keratoprosthetic and they kind of freak me out but I think they were the earlier versions with all the holes.
Honestly I kind of WANT a creepy ass silver one with holes in, because my ability to weird people the FUCK out with my blank stares will increase 300%!
Get ones that spin too.
Make them think there's something wrong with THEIR eyes.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Somebody might forget criticism but they'll never forget the time they got a slapstick pie in the face.
I want to be frustrated but you're right, people really never forget being pie'd for no readily apparent reason.
Leave a note with your criticism written on it IN the pie and they'll never forget both.

Derogatory Trainer said:
Yeah. Like I'll complain a lot but Rejuvenation one is in the upmost highest tiers of Pokemon games compared to some of the OTHER fan games out there.
Yeah, which is kind of depressing in and of itself. So many of them are trying so very hard to be 'edgy' and 'mature' that they loop around into pathetically childish. Or, god help me, Reborn.
Bigger audience for that stuff I guess.
I blame Nolan's Batman. That seemed to be the start of all this popular gritty shit in media lately.
For me at least.
Reborn is...well...It's enjoyable to play which is what any game should be.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I mostly only watched Doctor Who during the Christmas specials and for some reason the asprin line always stuck with me.
Huh, it must've been in the one I missed when I was going 'Fuck you, Moffat, for trying to make this show appeal to the Americans'. Because the reason I thought it was a deep cut is because it hadn't been mentioned since 1971!
I think it was David Tennant's first one? Not too sure. There was a buzzsaw christmas tree if I remember correctly.
Oh god. Trying to make anything non-American appeal to Americans is always a shit idea. I still remember how the American version of Life on Mars ended with him actually going to fucking Mars.


Derogatory Trainer said:
That we've seen so far in this outdated wreck of a run..
You'll be very impressed by the improvements Jan made to the older routes.
I have been pleased whenever you've gone back to older areas, the sprite work in this game is mostly top class these days.
And what you're seeing now is STILL the older versions.
Rose Theatre looks way nicer in V13. It's got hot springs and everything.

Derogatory Trainer said:
She actually knew my name before I introduced myself back in Sheridan which is very suspicious.
...I was only kidding at first but now I'm starting to think Eldest really IS some kind of evil.
Orrrr...we met in the past and she knew me from then?
With Time-travel and whatnot?

Derogatory Trainer said:
She IS 19.
That's 9 years more years at home than most kids in this Pokemon world get.
Well yeah, but he still literally shoved her out of her home and told her she wasn't allowed back inside until she brought Aelita back. So my point still stands, he's a vicious old bastard and I hate him.
That's true. At the very least, Red's mom let him rest in the house to heal his Pokemon.

Derogatory Trainer said:
OLD PEOPLE SHOULD BE CONTENT WITH THEIR WEEKLY TRIP TO FEED THE DUCKS AND NOTHING ELSE!
Look old people can fuck where and when they want, I'd be uncomfortable with that turn of conversation coming from someone of any age or attractiveness level. It's gross to say stuff like that in front of people outside the relationship! They didn't consent to being witness to the foreplay!
NO THEY CANNOT. WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU SAYING!? "WHERE AND WHEN THEY WANT"?!? GOD NO!
It's easier when their your own age or younger because you can just yell at them to get a room or that this is a Christian household but imagine saying that to old people flirting? They'll probably tell you off and then something about a war they fought in.


Derogatory Trainer said:
I can't help it. Sidequests are like crack cocaine to me.

Everyone relies on me and then gives me full credit for saving the day.

None of that sharing shit Melia & Co force on us.
Especially considering how often their 'help' ends up killing your Pokemon!
I think side-quests have a higher kill count than those idiots.
Besides most of the idiot brigades kills are Venam's, Melia has only ever killed my Buizel (which I never really cared about anyway)


What a clumsy fellow.
I'm sure he's recovering nicely and this gif woman isn't (badly) claiming self-defense.


Oh, am I going to enjoy the continuing consequences of Madelis' shitty behaviour!
Next, Cassandra will give her an Atomic wedgie, a Swirlee and tell all the other girls that Madelis has a crush on Geara.

Derogatory Trainer said:
I will remove the muzzle on the condition that you NEVER do that again.
PLEASE. That's going to haunt my nightmares!
Imagine being traumatised because a lion gave you big doe eyes.

Derogatory Trainer said:
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In my defence, we both know how bad I am at "Clothes".
Click to expand...
Also the sprites are not exactly detailed so. I would live in robes if I could and I thought she was just wearing a dress.
That's true. Maybe THAT'S why nobody in-game has complimented my stupid fashion scarf?
I know what you mean. Ever since Covid, I think my most worn outfit has been a bathrobe. Because why the fuck should I wear anything else working from home?


Derogatory Trainer said:
Funnily enough, I don't make a habit of giving random and oddly aggressive strangers (who somehow already knows my name) information about people I know.
It's almost like people don't like assholes who appear out of nowhere and threaten their friends!
Boy...
When you think about it I must be awfully hated in this region then.
How many times have I burst into someone's home and either threatened or insulted them?
Gonna have to put in a LOT of effort supressing riots when I'm Champ.


Listen up, you edgy motherfucker; You touch a single hair on Nim's head and we will fucking destroy you! She's one of the few people in this shitty region who is actually fun and likable!
OR IS SHE!?
You'll have to wait and see...
But even if she's not I'm still not going to do what Damien says.


...Let Zira eat him.
My resistance to allowing that gets weaker and weaker with each passing chapter...

First timing commenting on a run, figured why not start here
So just started my own nuzlocke inspired by this run, and I have to say....what has Jan been smoking.
The rift pokemon have shields that absorb 2-3 hits per bar and ignore flinch now and its stupid. Sorry for short comment and it being mostly my own complaint there but honestly other than that I can see why you keep coming back to this game despite all the annoyances and I have a whole new respect for you in continuing this
You seen the rest, but you'll comment on the best!
I haven't played any of V13 yet due to the screenshot button not working but I know what you're talking about and agree with it.
That new Rift mechanic is going to be an absolute nightmare to deal with and I hate it so very much.
On top of that and the screenshot button, I'm starting to think Jan's out to get me in some way...
Hey, I don't mind any comments, short or long.
And yeah, despite everything wrong with the game, it's still a wild fucking ride. Glad you like it (and have given me the respect I desperately crave)

hey everyone.
not gonna post my reactions yet i just wanted to wish @Derogatory Trainer and everyone else a happy thanksgiving if you celebrate it.
that's all for now
"YET" HE SAYS.
LIES, SAYS I!
But no, I don't celebrate thanksgiving due to not being American and it being kind of a weird holiday.
Like...what's with the part where the president pardons a turkey from the yearly genocide of his fellow birds?
The sentiment is appreciated though.


v11-13 kinda debunked her powers as in the super strenght she had on the beginning as in no longer exists
and how she attracts shinies as to simply incredible luck

in v13 you get a much muchhh more clear reason for some things on her past like for example if you know about this
like the origins of Melanie (other timeline melia from when you visit the world's end) is much clearly explained in valor mountain and so on

Well the super strength thing was just this game's early anime weirdness from when Jan was a teenager and not an actual power of hers.
Like how Madame X's sword was named after a fucking Kill la Kill character in the earlier versions.

I haven't played V13 but why the fuck would Melaine be relevant in Valor Mountain? That's way too early, isn't it??


butttttttttttttt
i preffer to follow Sean's storyline of how Jan is stupid and a bad writter sooo its how i treat even though its true that the game story got better with time
How is that my storyline?!
I don't think I've ever called him stupid or a bad writer specifically either.
I complain because some things need to be pointed out. It's not that his story completely sucks or anything. Parts of it just annoy me and most of those parts are because of gameplay mechanics like how I'm restricted by badge number or lack of HM when nobody else is except for that one time on Terajuma and then never again.
Gah, late once again! Though, in my defense, Thanksgiving along with other busy stuff kept making me forget this was put up. So, sorry Sean, but no specific reactions this time 'cause I'm tired, lazy, and dreading having to go back to the usual work routine tomorrow.

BUT I will say that I think it could go either way with newcomers sticking with/ditching this run. I'm way behind on a bunch of shows and junk that I want to check out, and it's daunting to think of how much time it would take to catch up. So, hard to say, but I'm still here in the meantime!
CLASSIC Americans.
Too busy with their early Christmas dinners to comment on my Nuzlocke runs.
JUUUUUST CLASSIC.

Oh yeah I know that feeling. Happened to me all the time.
I only ever get over it by taking a day and just power binging through the whole show or movie series. And then the addiction starts...
This run is like a long death march, I think.
So many readers have fallen to the wayside but the strong keep going onward.


LOOK. I was behind! I stopped reading back before you entered GDC!
Filtered by the filler arc, were you? Forshame.
Also this is like your first time commenting, right? On anything it seems. You get a free pass.
My MAIN gripe is with the people who commented early on in the run. Never seen those fuckers since.

and I must say this...
AS A WRITER, I CAN SAY YOU ARE A FAILURE JAN
HIDING THE PLOT STUFF AS "PLOT" IS NOT ACTUAL PLOT. I shall murder you when I find you for making an insult of my profession.
Can a man really be called a failure as a writer if he's created a game?
Like it's a mess but I'm pretty sure the lowest standard for writers is to actually write something down and distribute it for people to read, no?


Hooo....now, I am so glad I found you back when you first started this run after reading Reborn.
That's a terrifyingly long time to have been quiet while reading this.
Dear god, what if there's someone who's been reading since the first ever chapter in Reborn and NEVER said anything!?


Ehem. So did V13 remove the....ehem...thing about Melia and her powers? It's been like 2 years since I saw THAT in a vid and thus I suspect so.
Look I'm on mobile I dunno how to spoiler in this.
No, she's still got them as far as I know. I haven't played V13 due to the screenshot button being broken.
Can't help you with that. I've never used the mobile version of this site.

Now I'm off to read ch 123. Someone tell me how to get informed this got updated plz.
Roxy brain tired...
Also how the FUCK did you people get types and change the stuff under your name?! mine's "derp" and I haaate it HOW DOES ONE CHANGE THAT (EDIT: it took me an hour to find those...I really am tired.
There should be a "Watch" Button just above the description at the top of the thread. I think if you click that you get notifications on the site and an email?
Derp is such an old internet thing.
But maaaybe you should get some sleep before commenting next time?

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Doing the second one sounds like it'd kill all the festivities pretty quickly...

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Just a crowd of people with their heads in their hands thinking about all the things they could have achieved but were distracted by Youtube videos and video games...

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..................................................................................................................

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Emphasis on "can" and not "will".

I want superpowers, but no amount of hard work is going to let me fly unaided or move things with my mind.

You should reword it to "Our realistic dreams can be a reality".

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No, it isn't.

They clearly thought of the name first and then attached some trite feel-good tag-lines afterward.

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Now that I've crushed that old lady's remaining optimism before she shuffles off to hell, I can get back to...

Chatting to nobodies about nothing important, I guess?

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Shame we don't have anyone like that here, huh?

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Uhhh...yeah?

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I like to think I'm REASONABLY handsome from a good angle.

I won't get chased out of town by a mob of pitchfork and torch wielding peasants nor would I be confined to a belfry at least.

...

For my looks anyway. Personality is a whole different story there.

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Thank you?

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Lotta weird people out today...

And all of them hanging outside a school!

"How lovely and safe" said the inventor of the Orphan Sack

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Despite exams being on?

Jesus...that's incredibly cruel.

Imagine looking outside the window during an exam and seeing a fucking funfair ten feet away.

I always said school was a spite factory.

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That's where you're wrong, Rosie Posie!

I did just there.

Ergo, I have always said it.

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Oh, I will.

I'll make sure to eat as many caramel apples in front of the students as I can.

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So basically "Fuck off cynical people"?

Gee thanks.

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It's a BLAKEORY institution, Caesar!

Being cynical about it is the RIGHT thing to do!

They've probably got some wacky supervillain shit like mind control gas in the balloons or laxatives in the caramel apples!!

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OOooohhhh...

I'm going to assume that the Puppet Master stole that line from the tourism board here and you AREN'T a sleeper agent of his.

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Hah.

"Sleeper" agent.

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You may observe my comedic genius from a distance weird clown man who's sitting on the ground in between two perfectly good benches.

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I can count the number of times of been to a funfair on one finger but is there really a WHOLE stall dedicated to ballooons?

Isn't it usually some guy wandering around?

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And balloons will somehow help with that?

Do you assume everyone has the same dream as the old man from "UP"?

Well we don't.

That movie was terrible.

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Hmmm...I suppose they'd be useful in battle...might keep the few Electric types I have alive longer too.

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Riiight...

I suppose I'll let you hang onto them then.

Stuffing ten balloons into my bag would look incredibly stupid.

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Like insanely cool or are these moves just some useless that you'd have to be insane to ever use them?

Moves like Quash, Constrict or Water/Mud Sport?

Seriously, most of the Pokemon that know Mud Sport are already IMMMUNE to Electric attacks. What's the fucking point?

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Ohh...they're actually rather cool moves. Glad to see we've FINALLY gotten to that part of the game.

Elemental punches could give some extra coverage...I usually prefer to just go with STAB in Nuzlockes though.

It's safer if the Pokemon isn't weak to the type it's attacking with a coverage move after all.

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Drain Punch is really good but I don't have any Pokemon that can both learn and make good use of it yet.

Focus punch is most assuredly garbage though.

Most trainers go for attacks and the ones that don't usually have Pokemon faster than yours so they can attack just before it hits instead.

Power Herb doesn't even fucking work on it.

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There might be some use in pairing it with Substitute but you're better off just Brick Breaking twice.

So if any of you at home actually got hit with Chuck's Poliwrath's Focus Punch...

You're bad.

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Speaking of bad...

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Oh.

Well maybe that's a little harsh.

Iron Tail is mediocre. Sky Attack is Flying type Solar Beam but could be good if I could easily source some Power Herbs...

Endeavor is good though.

Would be reaaaally useful on a Pokemon with Sturdy.

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But unfortunately the Reborn timeline Sean is the one with the Sawk.

He's also never had to die multiple times.

Lucky bastard.

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...

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Your hands are on fire now.

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Oh Jesus...an actor who can't take cues...

You're supposed to ACT like it does, Lobo!

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Uh...

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I'd give it an S for Schlocky.

But that's because the only performance I'm worried about right now is you, a judo based Pokemon having to throw punches.

Do you even know how?

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Sure. We can make up some epic OC move by combining two other moves like some bad fanfiction if we have to.

We'll call it something like "Fire Storm Throw" or "Fire Flip".

Whatever works.

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...

You're really dedicated to this job, huh?

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WHAT!?

She can swim on fucking lava but not electrify her fist!?

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...

Wait, really?

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Well...it's alright then, dear.

I'll teach it to someone else later on.

You don't really need the coverage anyway. Dragon Claw is pretty much an all-purpose version anyway.

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Makes me wonder why there isn't any Elemental Claw moves like there are for punching and biting though.

Or any Dragon Bite moves.

Or any Rock Bite moves.

Like damn, give a Stong Jaw Tyrantrum a chance here.

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...

Well the second, third and fourth words on this sign excite me but the first gets a big fat No from me.

I don't want no Sorcerer's Cones turning my hair into frogs thanks.

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The Palooza?

Haven't heard about that yet.

Wait, she'd buy you a VIP ticket AT the Palooza?

I thought it was for the...

What the fuck is the VIP ticket for then?

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And now we move onto the most interesting looking attraction here.

What does this do?

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Wouldn't Delicious and Gourmet be the same though?

Or do you mean the shit kind of gourmet?

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You know? They'll serve you a gourmet meal and it'll be like a cube of tofu with a single herb on top and covered in a syringe's worth of dressing?

Hate that shit.

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Not so fast, you talking grass!

I swallowed a moth once after it flew into my mouth.

If I drank a bit of dressing afterward, I'm sure that'd count as avant-garde gourmet food somewhere on this godforsaken rock.

...

And what's this snooty bit about "local restaurants"?

I found you in a cave that was sealed for possibly hundreds of years, what do YOU know about fine dining?

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Uh-huh.

I guess you were part of whatever high society you could get in a cave then.

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Inter...wait, no how does that work?

Surely you'd only get fish using bait.

Unless you're SO skilled a fisherman that even inanimate objects are attracted to your lure...

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Wait, what's that big square panel on the tank for?

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Alright. Guess I don't need to know that information.

I thought this attraction was going to be a dunk tank or something at first.

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...

Yeah, go on then.

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Just standard, thanks.

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I ain't paying 20,000 PokePesos for half a fucking worm with balsamic vinaigrette spritzed over it.

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Can't wait.

Also I'm excited to be standing on a table.

Haven't done this since I accidentally got teleported into Xen HQ.

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What? Does Faimly Feud exist in the Pokemon universe?

Must be hard to get complete teams with all the missing Dads in this place.

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That might just be a protagonist only problem though.

Most NPCs have Dads.

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"Oh..." as in; "OH...WOW! THIS IS AMAZING"?

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There are actual fish in there?

I thought this was a prize thing?

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Well one of those options sounds like something a creepily obsessive person would say.

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...

*Ahem*

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It's worth the life it was given by God?

...

Or at the very least, it'll do me for a light snack.

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Buddy...

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Look at me.

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LOOK AT ME.

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It is my fish now.

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Fucking hell stop being so wishy-washy about this and give it to me alread-

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Oh.

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Oho...

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Ohohohohoho!

Well played there, Jan. Well played.

That's actually very funny.

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What an idiot for giving this to me though.

Now I basically have infinite little fish to snack on!

I can just pluck one off at a time from the school!

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Oh don't be a wuss.

Food has to come from somewhere.

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But first I need to give the head fishy a nickname...

Hmmm...this has never been done without the previous name-holder dying but...

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Say hello to Flounder VI! Return of the Fishi!

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Or should that be Flounder VI through CCXLVIII since this thing becomes a school of 248 fish?

Eh. Flounder VI will do.

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No. I'm not PLANNING on it.

But you're a Seaking fighting in the late 60's to early 70's level range.

Do the math on what your odds are.

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Don't feel to bad, buddy.

You'll live on forever in our hearts and more likely a montage I'll make at the end of the series.

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No.

I needed a Water Type after Gustav died and you were the most expendable option I had at the time.

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Oh fuck off!

Now you're just trying to get the audience to sympathise with you so they'll call me a monster when you DO die!

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I don't HATE you, Fives! I'm only being realistic here!

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No, thank you.

I've never had a Wishi-Washi before.

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Well aside from when Jitto turned into one against Valarie of course.

That was a fun battle. I should use that little blob again sometime but this super-long season seems to have way less Legendaries than the others.

...

Can Ditto turn into Rift mons?

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Something to try out later...

Now where to next?

I think the Hospital is through the gateway behind me...

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But it's blocked off by these chatty Cathys. (Cathies?)

Also wow.

Actually wait, not wow.

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What the fuck do you mean "starting to believe"?

How do you not fully believe it isn't safe yet?

There have been several people turned to fucking stone.

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And I guess their Pikachu's just didn't love them enough to bring them back.

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Well you'll be happy to know I saved them all from being fed to a soul eating machine.

...

Okay, when I think about it, nowhere in this region is actually safe.

....

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...

Yep, still can't think of a safe place.

BUT WHERE WILL THOSE POOR LIBERAL ARTS COLLEGE STUDENTS GO NOW!?!

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Yes.

Easily.

It's like the 15th one.

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Well aside from you being the best fodder NPC in the game for pointing this out, the answer is that they're garbage.

And I'm not even sure there ARE detectives.

All I ever see are the usual rank-and-file milling about pretending to look busy.

Should I assume that even with lower standards none of that idiot brigade can actually make detective?

...

That was a rhetorical question.

I'M ASSUMIN' AND MAY GOD HAVE MERCY ON US ALL.




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Well there's Erin.

Looking pale as always.

But hey, it works for her.

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And here's a strange unique sprite person staring at a colourful pillar.

Who won't speak or face me.

...

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Now why does THAT sound familiar?

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Sure.

But I don't have the animation or film budget for it.

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So still images edits and the occasional meme are all you fuckers at home will get.

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This isn't Sonic Adventure 2, Chatot.

A game I have never played and don't deserve to reference but I'm fucking DOING it anyway!

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Why would I ask it to do that?

I'm not it's trainer.

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Alright, Jan.

Jesus.

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Chatot.

Use Chatter.

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Ahh...ha.

...

How come I didn't take damage from that?

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Okay. I wouldn't go THAT far.

It's barely worth a slightly amused "hmph" let alone a full giggle.

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He lets his granddaughter build a Battle Bot that looks just like her.

I don't think he has much of a leg to stand on about vulgar language.

Also he's the Blakeory Patriarch. He's almost definitely evil.

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GOD no.

Asdie from it being utter garbage, that Chatter move never worked right in Diamond and Pearl.

And I'm still mad about that.

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DON'T CARE.

STILL MAD.


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Pffftt!

Ohhhh...piss off, will you?

That was too correct for me to actually counter it so you need to leave.

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Nope! Out you go!

Come back next chapter!

You get enough screen-time as it is anyway!

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Heh.

Now that's actually funny.

A man dressed like a clown saying he doesn't entertain.

What a fun festival this is.

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I'm gonna stop you right there.

Not only

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These moves have a base power of like 50, are very gimmicky, can only be learned by starters (which exlcudes the ones I have since thy're physical attackers not special) and most of the double battles I'm in force me to fight with a friendly NPC who refuses to follow my lead.

So no thanks.

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Come to think of it, I can't think of the last time I had a Double Battle that wasn't high stakes...

I don't mind the scarcity, of course.

A lot of my Pokemon's deaths are either because of those or some Xen freakshow.

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Okay, this section has a Pokemon Ranger in it so it's probably going to be the worst one.

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GOT IT.

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What I DON'T get is that girl in Sheridan saying she was the "official" Move-Relearner of Aevium.

There's two people in this city alone that can do it.

...

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Okay, I know it's gameplay mechanics.

I was lying about not getting it.

And I am sorry.

...

But it's like an insincere Youtuber sorry where I'm only apologising because I got caught.

I'll skip the whole "disappearing for six months" thing they usually do though.

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Interesting strategy.

But only interesting.

It's very stupid and laborious really.

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Just stay at home, you dingus.

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Don't care.

All my nicknames are perfect from the day the were conceived.

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PERFECT, I SAY!

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Well it does look more like a clown than a mime so that makes sense.

Like really Mr.Mime shouldn't have any colour to it if it wants to be a mime.

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God no.

And that's not just because it feels like you're putting an emotional bandage over everyone's underlying fear from the Stoner.

You're all just kinda boring to talk to.

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...

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"Meep"

It's Mr. Meep everyone.

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Hmmm.

Another fire-type would be good...

Only got like...four of them right now...

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Yes, well...I try not to include SazzleDazzle in most things.

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If you want to know the answer to your own question, ask yourself how you knew it was her specifically that I left out.

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Ugh...I kinda hate these puzzles.

You always get the one piece wrong and have to redo everything to fix it.

The only puzzling thing about these kinds of puzzles is why anyone would enjoy them.

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Yeah, here.

It's just stained glass I stole from Angie's Church anyway.

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Who needs "luck" when you have pure ski-

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GAAAHHHH FUCK THIS! IT'S IMPOSSIBLE!

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Didn't want a stupid eugenically perfect Darumaka anyways...

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Ahhh now THIS is more my speed!

Well...strength.

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And the "WEAK" get nothing, huh?

Finally!

A game for me!

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Huh.

Kinda weird to have a HM behind an optional activity but whatever.

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Heh.

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Time to show off the results of my training.

Just need a close-up so I can do my anime inner-monologue

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Excellent.

After being defeated by Sakitron, I trained my body for countless hours so the next time we meet I would be the one to triumph!

Push-ups! Sit-ups! Plenty of juice! I did it ALL!

And in doing so I have achieved my ultimate form!

Sakitron stands NO CHANCE!

...

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Unless she decided to use literally any of her built-in weaponry.

Then I'm fucked.

I think the only option I have left is wearing her down through sheer attrition since her battery charge doesn't seem to last very long.

Whereas I can brutally die over and over aga-

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(Oops)

Yeah, yeah, keep your nose on.

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You're about the see the power of someone who chops his own firewood for the winter!

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HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...

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FULL POWEEEERRRRR!!!!

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YEAH-HEH-HEH!

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SUCK IT LOSERS!

NONE OF YOU EVEN BREAK THE TWO THOUSANDS!

I AM THE FUCKING STRONG!


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...

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EVERYONE STOP STARING AT ME!

I'm allowed to be embarrassing if I'm unleashing my full power, alright!?

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Nope!

I've always just been really strong without actually needing to put any major effort put into it.

I like to think of it as my shit eye genetics were compensated by beefing up my muscles fibers.

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Also hold the fucking phone, did Reborn already happen is this universe?

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BUT THEN WHO'S THE REAL SEAN!?

AND DOES ANY VERSION OF ME HAVE A GOOD HAIRCUT!?!?


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I don't care about him.

I care about this OTHER Sean that's going around.

We're like Highlanders.

There can only be ONE.

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...

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I'm sorry, Tiny Zira.

I couldn't hear what you just said.

Mind repeating it for me!?

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Says the lioness who set me on fire and mauled me because she didn't get to eat someone.

Yes. I'M the abusive one.

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Well...it could have done without the question mark at the end but apology accepted.

I now promise not to shrink you down with my non-canonical Photoshop powers or whatever the fuck they are.

I don't think I can do the same joke twice anyway.

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I don't know who these people are but I have a feeling I would not really care for them.

Like I'm pretty sure Reborn Sean doesn't have any ACTUAL in-game friends yet.

...

Yeah, no. I can't actually think of a single one bar some of the VERY young children in that game but they're more dependants than friends.

Season 6 Taka is his friend at least but uh...yeah.

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Waterfall?

We going to tie that whole mess of an area together in one neat little bow?

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Ah.

Same as in Reborn.

Shoulda figured.

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No thanks man, I've got enough doubles in my bag as it is.

Which would be great if I could like...dual-wield them but no.

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I can already quadruple-wield fishing rods like I'm General Grievous taking his distant step-son on a fishing trip in the hopes they can form a bond due to his infertility preventing him from creating a real son of his own.

...

...

I went in too deep with this bit, didn't I?

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Right then.

That's this place scoped out.

Let's go see how Erin's doing with her lame quitter, quitter, big fat shitter idea.




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Bureaucracy strikes again, huh?

Surprisingly for the forces of good this time!

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Well...I guess they're still for the forces of evil.

I don't really get what the diabolical motive behind watching me demolish every trainer in the tourney is but hey.

I ain't complaining.

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OHHHHH HOW UNFORTUNATE.

GUESS WE'LL HAVE TO COMPETE AFTER ALL!

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FIDDLESTICKS!

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PHOOEY!

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SSHHHHHHHHUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCKS!

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Is that weird guy over there staring at us now?

The fuck does he and his oversized eyes want?


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It is?

How so?

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(Seems excessive to have an interview for a tournament...)

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Ah but there's a possibility you and your system hasn't considered...

A very lazily edited on wizard's robe and-

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-MAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGGGIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICCCCCCCCCCCCCC!!!

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At this point I slip the receptionist a (fake) five dollar note and a wink.

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HOOOORAY!

THE REVOLUTION WILL BE TELEVISED!

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...

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Is this sarcastic amount any better?

Does this face I would never naturally make in real life convince you?

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YES.

I.

AM!

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You might not have seen me in action yet, Erin but me in the tournament is like playing the lottery.

Except everyone else's ticket caught on fire and I photoshopped mine to win.

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We can continue this discussion of how great I am later, okay?

Pinky sans the Brain is finally here.

You want to punch her for wandering off on her own immediately after you told her not to?

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Not sure what you were hoping for honestly.

How could Erin feasibly cancel other people's entries?

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I WONDER?

PERHAPS SOMEONE WHO PROMISED TO BE GOOD AND NOT WANDER OFF, WANDERED OFF?

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You are SUPPOSED to be handcuffed to my side at all times!

It's not that much to ask from you is it?

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Amazing how you've become a bratty teenager now just as you're leaving the teens.

Like it's a step up from the whole "Psycho killer Qu'est-ce que c'est" you were before Souta rechained you but...

It's like one of those steps in a pre-school that are made for stubby toddler legs.

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...

That guy is still fucking staring at us...is he waiting for one of us to turn so he can challenge us to a battle?

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Gah!

Dammit it really creeps me out when you do that, Erin.

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People's heads should only ever face in the same direction as their bodies, you swivelling heathen!

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Guys! I've got it!

We open a bakery!

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That way we'll have all the dough we need!

...

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Okay, I'm sure if our sprites showed mouths at least one of you would be smiling right now.

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My jokes?

Yes sir, they can.

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Ah fuck, I turned around.

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Guess it's time for another Pokemon battle...sighhhhhh...

Who could have know a POKEMON game would have some many battles in it?

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It was self-defense!

And thankfully I won't for have to battle anyone else for another four chapters!

I just want MORE of this delicious plot, num-num-num.

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It's a little tough to chew and barely digestible but I just can't resist!

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For those who can't see, this man is wearing his shirt completely unbuttoned.

Like he was at the beach.

What a douche. We're in an dome.

HARDLY BEACH WEATHER!

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That's true. We are judging a book by it's cover again.

But I don't care about the shirt really. I want to know why you have big black demon eyes?

...

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Upon closer inspection I can now say that those are sunglasses.

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Seriously, IS there a beach here?

Will the bikini beach episode we were robbed of on Terajuma finally happen?

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Eavesdropping?

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JINX!

You owe me a Coke.

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Or preferably a lemonade.

I don't like anything cola flavoured.

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Hell I don't even like soft drinks more than once a week.

A water then.

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No actually just give me money.

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Or maybe that's too impersonal?

How about you make me a macaroni birthday card-

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GWOOOOOOOOBLUBLUBUBUBLUBLUBGH!

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Yes?

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You could have EASILY put your fingers in your ears and screamed "LALALA" at the top of your voice.

So you're still guilty, bub.

GO TO JAIL!

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You have a low threshold for juiciness then, mate.

You wanna hear about how there's a secret cold war going on between Team Xen and the literal Goddesses of Time & Space?

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Shit, wait.

I should probably tell Aelita and Erin about that first.

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Hmmmm...

Adam? The upwards cowlick reminds me of him.

And because we just re-met Valarie who didn't recognise us either.

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Wow.

Whoever wiped your memory BARELY tried to disguise you.

Did Crescent just pop some sunglasses on you, undye your hair (which is yet ANOTHER person that's been lying to me about their hair colour) and say "Eh, good enough"?

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I get the feeling that "!" isn't you suddenly remembering who we are...

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...

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Hmmmm.

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It's a pretty good one all things considered.

Adam Might trains Rock Pokemon, Adamites are a type of rock...it fits.

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Oh whatever.

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Yeah...he could turn into a rock at will.

...

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Aaaaand that's pretty much all I know about him.

He kinda fucked off to stay on a boat pretty early into Part 2.

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Same thing that happened to Val happened to Adam, Aelit-

Oh. You wouldn't know about that...

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God damn, we need to give you a leaflet on the shit you've missed out on.

Hell I'd read it too. I was there and I still don't know what the fuck was going on.

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But you're about to be interrupted by someon-

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Were you just talking like a generic background teenager in a film to fill the scene with chatter because it's a public place?

Because I've never heard "Omigosh I know, right? That's so crazy" ever been said anywhere else.

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Is...is that from that DS game "The World Ends With You"?

Huh.

I guess Risa used to be one of those 2007 emo goth girls that really liked Death Note.

Because that's the only demographic I knew that played that game.

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...

Also it's weird to sing at someone when you meet them.

Stop it.

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And why has nobody questioned why you're completely different now?

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"Or something".

What lazy writing tactic.

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Someone better get Risa a glass of water because she is THIRSTY.

Also speaking of "or something";

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You know when you have a verbal or writing tic? I think that's my new one. That and "or whatever".

It USED to be starting loads of sentences with "I mean" until someone in the comments pointed it out years ago.

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I don't remember who it was but thank you. Very good constructive criticism there.

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Even if it made me want to DIE inside.

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And now let's all have a look inside Risa Raider's mind for a second.

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"GOOD HEAVENS! A MAN REJECTING ME, RISA RAIDER? INCONCEIVABLE!"

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Hahahaha! She's so utterly shocked that she literally jumped back into a wall.

She must have had some self-confidence before Adam just destroyed it.

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Ooh...that's an interesting question!

If only for the fact that his answer won't be Melia like nearly everyone else.

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Ahhh the atheltic tomboy-ish type, eh?

And with a husky voice too? Unusual but respectable.

I had no idea you were a man of such refined tastes, Adam.

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Why would you be grossed out by that?

It's not like he screamed "BIG SLOPPY TITTIES" at the top of his voice or anything.

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The hell was that?

I thought I felt something just fly over my head...

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Which I am explaining right now for the people who might not know that term just from the gif.

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You better not have learned the phrase from Reddit or I swear to god I'll "r/wooosh" you off a fucking cliff!

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Oh? Only the good things, I hope?

Or at the very least, the dramatic things.

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The reserve leader for Saki?

Who for some reason is an Electric type user?

How the fuck does that work? Who's the Steel Reserve leader?

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And it's-

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Hold on one second-

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And it's very nice to meet you too.

...

Oh these sunglasses aren't to make me look cool or anything.

I just wanted to protect my eyes from your retina burning hair colour.

That shade of blonde makes Melia's look like a nice soft candlelight to your literal supernova coloured hair.

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Is that what had you going "Omigosh that's so crazy?"

Or was I right and that was just meaningless girl babble?

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I assume someone took pity on me for a change and made my wish come true.

Or it's another attempt to capture Melia.

Probably the latter.

Nobody pities me.

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I remember.

Someone tried to get you to sign their Pelipper.

And you also arrived in the only non-commercial use car I've seen.

Like...EVER. In any Pokemon game.

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She also consoled me when I tried to get a late entry.

She was nice.

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I'm not posting the lazy wizard image again, Risa.

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Or any other messes that might involve spilled soda.

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You lie.

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I can't see whoever entered us anywhere in this Eve's pudding!

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Unless the proof is in a different type of pudding?

Ugh...I hope it's not a gross one like rice or too much like chocolate.

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Here's hoping you can actually live up to that title.

I haven't met anyone yet who can.

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Melia sucks, Ren sucks, Aelita...I love her and she's a great partner...but she kinda sucks too.

None of my so-called rivals have ever actually...y'know, rivalled me.

Madame X would honestly be the closest but she's more in the sworn-enemy-I-want-to-destroy category...

And I refuse to have a Conkeldurr as my rival.

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Ah.

That would be Henrietta and Jeff?

The ones you abandoned on the streets?

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I saw Henrietta eating out of a dumpster near the main road last night and Jeff went missing three days ago.

I think the feral night children got to him...

So no.

I don't think they're doing okay.

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And there she goes...

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The YELLOWEST thing in this entire game.

And perhaps the world.

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Jean?

Wasn't that the name of one of the cannon fodder in my bracket?

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At least this girl knows her priorities.

"Sean...and the rest".

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Prepare for your doom, yes I know.

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You were barely nice now.

You just walked up and Erin jumped down your throat.

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Also I find it very convenient that you've forgotten us when you still owe me that ten pokedollars I lent you.

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Not really...but I don't actually know him that well at all.

He COULD have genuinely forgotten.

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I STILL WANT MY MONEY THOUGH, ADAM!

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You eventually get used to this "colourful" cast of characters, Erin.

Or you self-medicate.

...

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So you want some Ibuprofen?

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Yeah...and Adam's the calm one.

Just imagine how bad it'll be when we reunited with Saki?

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It's hardly crooked just because it can't cover people using fucking magic to disguise themselves.

And I really don't think this is a secret Team Xen plot that Cassandra is brewing up.

They wouldn't get anything from it, would they?

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Nah, keep it forever for all I care.

The only plan I will ever use to beat the system is to literally beat up the system.

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I'll just find the nearest postman and punch my way up the ladder from there.

It's what they all deserve for one of them hitting me earlier.

I'm like a shitty teacher, I punish the WHOLE class!

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Ahhhhh shit!

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Dammit Erin! Why'd you tell me to do that?

Now I'm gonna have to get Kanon to mop it up!

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Seriously, why has nobody bought Melia a phone yet?

So much of my time could be saved.

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Which makes no fucking sense since it has nothing at all to do with anyone but you.

Especially Melia.

She doesn't even know you're awake yet.

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A lot of things can be described like that, Erin.

Like how I crack all the fingers on my right hand every time I form a fist.

It didn't USE to be like that when I was younger so I'm worried if this is the arthritis kicking in 30-40 years early.

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I like you, Erin.

You just can't be bothered visiting Veronica.

Why would you, anyway? You barely know any of us aside from Aelita.

And even then you only know Bitchlita.

Which is a tragedy.

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First time in a while we've been sent in a direction that wasn't north or south.

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You'd be surprised.

I didn't think finding Kelvin would be too difficult but then I had to fight a giant Dugtrio tank.

A goddamn Dugtrio tank that sent out Pokemon instead of fighting directly.

Still disappointed about that.

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Haha.

Sounds like a slogan I'd use for my presidential campaign.

"Stick By Sean".

Either that or a really boring book about fallen branches.

"Stick" by Sean.

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But do you though?

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See ya.

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Nice girl.

I was too hasty in my judgement of her back in the cave.

I hope it stays that way.

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