Nuzlockes remind me that I don't have friends
- Pokédex No.
- Jun 30, 2019
- it's pronouns-ed "STEEL-ix"
- Pokémon Type
- Pokédex Entry
- This Pokémon fails at life. When she isn't seen animating 2D breasts for her nuzlocke, she often watches anime, or sucks at video games on Twitch.
Started: September 6, 2021
Long story short, I've been feeling a bit low on energy for a while, especially in terms of my art and Pokémon. I'm currently on school holiday right now, so I figured the best way to get back into the swing of things would be to nuzlocke some hacks! After all, it's been months since I've took a break to sit down and play some vidya... (And so far, it seems to be working!)
Anyway, I'm going to be continuing my nuzlocke run of Pokémon Clover v1.2. I was previously nuzlocking the first release of Clover, with the intention to make a comic, but lost all motivation when it was revealed that the old version was incompatible with v1.2. The newest version has been out for a year now, and from what I've seen so far, I can say it's one of the few hacks that I consider to be on par with
What is Pokémon Clover, you ask? It's a rom hack of FireRed, taking place in the Fochun region and the Ebin Isles. If you couldn't tell, it was made by /vp/, so expect a lot of shitty memes, references, and offensive humour typically found on 4chan. Look no further than the starters - the one I had was designed after the suicide bomber stereotype, who I later boxed. Don't read this if you're faint-hearted. Despite this, the hack is surprisingly advanced. For example, it has Wonder Trading, Exp. Share, and even a cheat detection system. The hack is also notoriously difficult. An NPC straight out advises you not to nuzlocke it.
There's also a wiki, though this one's incomplete, since the previous one was closed (possibly due to Mantine?)
But, without further ado:
- Catch the first Pokémon per route.
- Dupes clause: If you encounter a Pokémon that you've already caught from the same evolutionary line, skip it.
- Shiny clause: If you encounter a Shiny Pokémon, you can catch it.
- Just in case the cheat detection system is still janky, no Legendaries or Mythical Pokémon.
- If a Pokémon faints, it's considered dead, and must be boxed.
- Wonder Trades are allowed.
Ahh, nothing like the soothing sounds of the GameBoy Advanced, and anons screeching over which generation of Pokémon is the best.
So, it turns out I last saved in Gadech City (replacement for Pewter City). Not much was missed, except hilarious introductions from Professor Stump, Edgie (your mean rival) and Keksandra (your friendly rival... seriously, if you're going to play this, pick the male trainer).
I didn't want to reset since I had a team saved for me, courtesy of a friend. Another great feature of Pokémon Clover is "New Game +". Once you beat the final boss, you're able to carry over 5 Pokémon to a new game. The Pokémon will be lvl. 5 at their lowest evolution stage, keeping IVs, natures, and abilities. Well, fren did exactly that, and even bred them for the best stats. Anyway, here's the team:
My replacement starter, Judd the Bongecko.
I could honestly see this as a real Pokémon, save for the fact that it's based on obnoxious stoner culture.#129 Bongecko
55 / 40 / 45 / 60 / 45 / 10
Its tail can emit a smoke that it gets high from. Other Pokémon and people can also get high from inhaling it too.
Here's my ace Pokémon, DIO the Diobat!
Yep, that's a motherfucking JoJo reference. And another evolutionary line that I could see being real, if they changed parts of it. Hell, I love his design so much, I'm even using it for a Zubat in one of my nuzlockes.#281 Diobat
50 / 75 / 45 / 65 / 45 / 90
Diobat often disguise themselves as humans in order to trick women into stealing their first kiss.
Meet the obligatory Fairy-type of the team, Legaloli the Chezetta.
An innocuous design based on CP (Cheese Pizza). :^)#059 Chezetta
Cheez Pizza Pokémon
60 / 40 / 70 / 69 / 70 / 30
Chezetta is very shy and isolates itself from others. When bitten, its temperature rises to 300 degrees.
The team BADASS, Scythe the Skeletroll.
Probably one of my favourite designs in the game, holy shit. Its evolution is even cooler.#375 Skeletroll
50 / 60 / 80 / 60 / 80 / 30
It's often found poking its head out of burial sites to scare tourists. They don't have any friends.
And finally, meet Milkshake the Oreon!
You should know what this is meant to be parodying, come on.#243 Oreon
Good Cookie Pokémon
95 / 60 / 65 / 130 / 65 / 110
Oreon suddenly appeared out of yellow rings on islands. Their numbers are gradually increasing over time.
And as mentioned before, I had an Arabomb on the team, but boxed her since she didn't appeal to me. I regret not picking Ejacasm. ...There's also a Curicrawl and Nauseon that are boxed, too.
Now with that out of the way, let's see what Gadech City has to offer!
At least I got a free Potion.
Ooh, a free Pokémon!
Babius the Blobbos is boxed without hesitation.
It's meant to be the stand-in to Ditto, but with an expanded movepool and useless stats. At least it's trying.#132 Blobbos
42 / 17 / 36 / 15 / 25 / 15
People who live near mountains say that you can hear Blobbos’ cries at night as they try to train hitting rocks.
A Pokémon that doesn't exist in this region.
Looks like there's some suspicious characters lurking around. And speaking of...
Every nuzlocke run from the early 2010's would like to know your location. D:
Oh christ, not another evil team full of morons.
For reasons unknown, Team Karma are trying to steal Linux devices from these nerds. I don't remember the plot of Pokémon Clover.
Also, he keeps making snake puns.
EZ win. Also, I hate Armando's design.
Oh, that's easy: by not having a team consisting of only the same 3 Pokémon. I got a bit wreckless using Judd there.
Yeah, just wait a sec.
Given my team, I can say with confidence that this battle will go smoothly.
...AAAAAAAND IT'S GONE! The only thing I'm worried about is his next Pokémon, Dragun. It's a Dragon/Steel type with Fire coverage. If I'm remembering things correctly, he should be weak to Ground, so:
As I thought.
Who knows? Oh, and make sure to talk to all the scientists in the room: you'll be rewarded.
As I go to leave, I'm interrupted by Terry A. Davis!
I wonder when this game was written.
Anyway, it turns out most of my team is weak to Rock types! So, time to grind.
Bad idea. It turns out Pokémon from New Game + are considered traded, so now they're loafing around. Goddamn it.
Double goddamn it. At least he'll make for some trade fodder, but for now, box.
Based off cat videos and rage face memes that businessmen think we're obsessed with. Its cry sounds like a man screaming MEOOOOOOOW into the microphone. Time to face Brock, the rock-solid Pokémon trainer, so this curse can be lifted.#030 Maymay
50/ 48 / 52 / 37 / 40 / 52
Maymay approaches its prey and keeps making strange faces until its victim faints.
"But, you probably already knew that."
This joke pays off, trust me. After ignoring orders, Legaloli one-shots Armando.
Oh. I forgot 4chan designed the Pokédex.
Ten thousand light years away.
There's that famous Brock speech we all know and love!
Judd refuses to cooperate, and he's somehow being outsped by Lanshil.
With his weakness to Rock types, there's a possibility things could go badly.
Motherfugger managed to live though. :DDDDDD Brock's next Pokémon, Ballace, has a Steel type move, so to avoid any risks:
Like everyone else on my team, Scythe continues to ignore orders, because apparently my friendship is less worthy than a piece of plastic. Ungrateful bitch. She manages to land a critical hit with Astonish, then finishes him off with Bone Club.
Next up is Chompest, a Rock/Dark type. I'm going to rely on Legaloli for this one, as Chompest has low Special Defense. Additionally, its Intimidate ability won't mean shit.
Damn. Not sure if I really want to risk this.
Of course Brock used a Potion, but we did it!
Hooray for being nude!
This might come in handy once I reach Mt. Moot. I leave Brock to stand on his asteroid in space.
Anyway, now that I finally have a Gym Badge, it's time to abuse one of my favourite features: Wonder Trading!
Oh god, not this thing...
Sappy earns a temporary spot as the 6th teammate, until I can find someone better!
The concept behind this evolutionary line is that it goes from a Grass > Fire > Ghost type. I'm sure you can figure out what happens. :)#187 Sapleaf
50 / 60 / 45 / 65 / 40 / 75
Sapleaf love sunbathing in open fields, ignoring their elders' advice about the dangers of sunbathing too long…
Tune in next time, where we'll be looking for Moon Stones in Mt. Moot, and hopefully fighting Tumblrita! ...Her ace is Lvl. 20, meaning my teammates are going to start disobeying again soon. :')