Screenshot Hoenn Mature Taking on Hoenn, an Emerald Screenshotlocke

[YinYang9705]

and then grandparents needed me for work, alas, oh well better late then never

Spoiler: part 17, fallabor treck part one

almost immediately after leaving mauville territory, this jackass called me to say he lost
I hate my contacts list

after that, I encountered a couple of losers reporters who wanted to battle

they seemed under prepared for the type of people who would come this way

really under prepared

they seemed to take the lose well though

of course, since their program is a trainer spotlight, I suppose their job is to job so trainers could look good

and so I decided to play along to their little show, I even gave them a po box so they could leave a payment when I'm done
you can guess how they reacted to the word payment

and so, I decided to say the truth about the battle, for all of hoenn to see?

what was it?
well I forgot, so we'll just have to find out when I next watch tv

"how big a chance"
"100's a chance right?"

and then I beat this picnicker up

he bragged about the pep of his pokemon, but....

I dont think sandshrews are known for being peppy
I could be wrong though

also there's a massive sandstorm like 3 feet away from here, I dont know how its localized to this section of the region but as long as I dont suffer for it I'm good

and so I entered the volcano part of this region

where I found this magma camel the locals call "numel"

using my endless creativity I named her cama
"mul"
she accepted it without complaint

and then abigail called, to tell me about some bullshit I couldn't be bothered to remember
christ I need to be more picky with who I add to my contacts

and then I thought this wannabe tough guy

he wasn't that strong

also he lied about not crying, what a shame

and then I came across this large ledge area, checking the pokenav, it turns out that the next gym is beyond the ledges, which makes me wonder why nobody thought to build a staircase here
whatever

I wonder why there are so many picnickers around a volcanoy desert area
maybe they just have a death wish

also the volcano's a tourist trap
go figure

and then I beat this man up

and then he sneezed, away from me thankfully

also I found the other terrorist group

they're blocking off the volcano and want something in fallabor, so I guess I have to go there next
damn terrorists
what the fuck do I even call these guys anyways
I'll think of something later

this man bragged about his legs, I suppose he would be proud if they could handle his weight across mountains

and then they cramped
alas

since he was too busy holding his leg, he had me search for medical supplies

and then I added another weirdo to my contacts list
goddamn it

and so I entered this cave system which is super hoit by the way, might have something to do with being in a volcano

I then leartned that hoenns natural tortoise species "Torkal" evolved to handle extreme heat instead of water
sweet

also they prevent intimidate from going off, which is midly annoying

and so I called him tork

exiting the cave, I found some berries that may or may not be useful in the near future

I then fought this "kindler"

and another aroma lady that wanted to bang me
why do so many aroma ladys equate pokemon battles with sex?
the world may never know

as you can see, shroomish atre annoying to fight
fucking mushrooms and their spores

forunatly, bits was having none of it

until the shroomish spore put here to sleep

which made this roselia slightly more irritating to beat

but only slightly

"no"

and then calvin called me

and then I wished calvin didn't call me, since that was some of the most uncomfortable seconds of my life

so I ran to the nearest rest stop

and I hoped to god I forgot this when I'd wake up

next time I make it to fallarbor and see some terrorists mug a scientist

 

[YinYang9705]

time to reach fallarbor in this action packed journey through ash!

Spoiler: part 18 fallarbor treck part two

while I was resting up at the kind womans house, I caught a tv program

it was the one the reporters shot of me!

"well he looks like a nice young lad"
"indeed he does"
"much nicer then the freeloader I'm currently housing"
I chose to assume there was a second floor I just couldn't find

"that's an awesome way to describe a minute and a half battle"

"I bet he gave the perfect answer to this"
"I bet he was a little shit who should have respected his elders"
was does everyone I watch tv with end up like this?

"fucking thirteen year olds and their attempts at brooding, back in my day if we wanted to be dark and brooding we stabbed people for....."
and then she went on a 10 minute rant
I assume it was ten minutes because thats when I left

at least the reporters think I'm cool

after word, I decided to see what was on the cliff surrounding the area
all I found was a blackbelt walking in place

who couldn't even beat my doggish cat
how pathetic

and then this guy tried to seem tough but well...

it didn't go well for him

at all

like seriously

impressed with my power, he wormed his way into my contacts list
I just hope he doesn't talk about his loses

and then I find this dumbass staring at a tree

apparently among their various uses in companionship and construction, pokemon can also be used to make treehouses

I told him yes and forgot the conversation happened until this minute

and then this "cooltrainer" thinks we're in somekind of drama

so I showed her that I'm leading man

and then I got paralyzed in batlte with roselia
again

and then she also wormed her way into my contacts list
alas

and with that, I entered the ashen wastes of route 113
"a calm and serene land, blocked from the sun from the volcano sitting directly directly south of here, a place where there should be no life at all, yet there are many pokemon roaming the lands, with grass and trees thriving in spite of the harsh conditions, truly this says something about the hardiness of li-"
then some ash fell into my mouth and I lost that train of thought as I went to heave into a bush

as I was heaving, this fire slug walked up to me
the pokedex calls it a johto native mon but this is the 1st time I've ever seen one of these in the wild in my life, and I traveled all over johto in my studies

I named her maggy, because I thought it was fitting

then this kid told me about the fun that is leaving visible trails in the ashen grass
I then wondered why anyone would live in this hellhole aside to spite the volcano

I then learned ash piles on the ground contained items
which I think is neat

also there are three people guarding that pile with an intense fervor, and it makes me worried what the lack of sun does to the human mind

oh god they collect ash as a hobby, that's unfortunate

also the kids use ash piles as hiding spots
they clearly went mad

also the kids a ninja named lung
huh

also they sent out this speedy thing

this was super effective crit damage on bits, so its clearly not all that powerful
shame

fucking chunnis

and then this freak started talking like a teenage girl

it's super unsettleing, what with the half lizard fursuit and the creepy unwashed hair

and then I found gold, which explains why anyone would live up here

"because volcanic ash blocks out the sun"
he seemed to ignore that

also I learned large enough jaws can block intimidate
which sucks but oh well

and then he told me what I already knew
fucking youngsters

"numel"
I'd figure it wouldn't mind the ash until I realized it bits of rock flying through the air

lewd

oh god ash collection is a popular hobby

and they find it more then pokemon battles, truly this place is a lost cause

the obese can become elderly?
its news to me

also there's a practical reason for ash collection, as practical as glass flutes can be

and then I was ambushed by a ninja

his only purpose was to give cacca psychic laser beams, which is a weird feature for a moth to have honestly

and then I got another weirdo to interrupt my journey with their banal musings
alas

also I decided to get the sack, I thought the glass flutes might come in handy sooner or later

also this youngsters an idiot, if anything, its proof the earth hates all those who live on it

and then on my way to fallarbor, in its farmlands I was abushed by a picnicker

and a birdman

whos bird is literally metal as shit

as you can see, the picnicker is pretty irrelevant here

and I manage to beat the metal bird before anyone got killed
go me

also riri upgraded her method of shooting out water
which is super neat

also he sent out this violent looking bird, which just made me regret leading with geck even more then I already do

of course, riri intercepted its attempt on gecks life, so it all worked out in the end

old people in a nutshell. jpeg

also I met with this woman, who turned out to be the developer of the local pc system

also she was standing in the way of the pc, so he fuck off back to her hut
now is a perfect time to show you my captures stats

Spoiler: the fire guys stats

marvel in how I captured every local fire type in the span of three routes

this man appeared to know the next leader

apparently nepotism is alive and well in hoenn, so that says good things about my future prospects

also apparently gold comes from space meteors, speaking off I heard there was a local meteor scientist so I decided to see how he was doing

"team magma"

well shit

next time we save cozmo from terrorists

 

[Nimbostratus]

marvel in how I captured every local fire type in the span of three routes

amazing

 

[YinYang9705]

Spoiler: reply

amazing

I think it is honestly, if only because torkaol and slugma are pretty uncommon, and that fire is the ties for the second rarest type in the game with dragon and dark, only ahead of ghost and ice

and now for the thrilling rescue of a named npc

Spoiler: part 19, scientist rescue mission

upon leaving fallarbor, I had a mission, a mission to rescue cozmo no matter the cost, with nothing that would distract e from it
I then saw the word fossil and thought I'd get free shit for entering this mans house
whoops

"oh so he uses fossils to ask women for feet pics on the internet?"
"w-what"
"you'll understand when you're older"

"yeah I bet he's really great at digging himself into holes"
"yes...?"
"don't worry about it"

for bullying his older brother the kid gives me a cd
that may or may not be useful when travelling the region, idk

and so I met the sexual deviant himself

unfortunately, there was no fossils to be had,so I delayed my rescue for nothing

and then he gave me a hint to where fossils might lie
I wonder if it has anything to do with that vague tower shaped thing I saw earlier

Spoiler: this one

I'm, fairly sure it does

and so I left the house, to do the most NOBLEST OF THINGS
beating up fishermen

and so I beat use his weird fish thing

and then I met a man not intelligent enough to train his cattish dog enough to forget how to roar
he gave me the cd for it thought, which was neat

And I set off once again, to grab this item guarded by a fisherman and a picnicker
surly it must be at least as valuable as gold right?

"some how I really doubt that"

I fight only the most competent of trainers, as you can clearly see by the ingenious strategy at play here

and then I learned they were guarding herbal medicine
great

"wanna bet?"
and then he threw his barboach at me for daring to question his fishing skills
I should probably stop antagonizing every fisherman I come across
eh

"how does shouting commands at pokemon burn calories?"
she failed to provide an answer for this

and then I found free 750, people should really stop leaving cash around like this

and then I found that thing I saw in my birch hallucination all those weeks ago

I used all my incredible naming skills for this one as you can see

and then I found lannette buried in a mess of books, machinery, and something called "hoenns top beefcakes", whatever the fuck that is

to bribe me into never reviling what I found in her house, she gave me a doll
mysteriously, the contents of her house was all over tabloids a month later

"the most expensive teachers of the johto region"
"doesn't johto have the worst test grades in the world?"
"why do you think I live here now?"
and so I had a pleasant chat with these two nice young girls about the upsides of hoenns schools
its mostly that it's actually affordable honestly

"what if you camp by yourself?"
"what do you think pokemon are for"
I decided to stop talking with him after that

and then I battle this clearly normal individual

who's certainly a well adjusted member of society, and not another crazy who wormed themselves into my contact list

and then this "Dylan" person called to tell me about his loss
I wish I had more interesting acquaintances

and then I thought this kindler with decent fire safety advice

for his thrilling battle, he decided I was worthy to add to his prestigious list of contacts
that somehow include champions lance and alder
weird, at least I got an moderately interesting contact for once

"never heard of evolution in my life"
"it sounds like you're being a smartass"
"I promise you, I would never lie to a person I just met"

needless to say, she was pretty pissed when she saw my team was fully evolved on average

"I guess so"

"I'm sure that's quite the concern in hoenn"

and so after all the trainers on route 114 conspired to stop be, one final interruption came in the form of a phone call about a persons loss in battle
I really hope team magma doesn't kill people when their of no use to them

turns out rustboro is just south of fallarbor, which means I traveled through almost the entire left half of hoenn in just a few weeks
which is simply neat

and then upon entering the falls a sun shaped rock tried to ruin my day

fortunately, he was pacified, by the pretty colors of the premier ball

and so I named him solus because I thought it was a neat name

after capturing the solrcok, I finally caught up with team magma

as they were trying to battle be, unlikely help arrived!

clearly it was a selfless organization with noble and intelligent goals that are no way dumb whatso ever

yeah it was team aqua, they got wind of the cozmo job someone and decided to step in

unfortunately, the guy sent to rip off cozmo was an admin, and he was heavy enough to push me to the side when he was fleeing
fucking fatty

and I was reunited with archie

"do I look red to you?"
"...maybe"

and so pot proceeded to call the kettle black

I wonder if hoenn is just cursed to have total morons terrorize it for the rest of time
and so archie and his goons proceeded to chase the admin to mt chimney, while I made sure cozmo wasn't dead

fortunately, he wasn't so hoenn didn't experience the tragedy of losing its top meteorologist

"what with threats?"
"actually, they were quite polite until we got to the meteor"

alas

and then he asked a really good question

next time we learn what team magma wants to do with that meteor

 

[YinYang9705]

Time to end the week off with the climatic battle against maxie

Spoiler: part 20, maxies volcanic clash

after making sure cozmo could make it back to fallarbor without getting himself killed, I found this rock which is totally useful to me with all the pokemon I have captured that can make use of it

after leaving the cave, I fought this nob
like seriously, his name's nob

also he declaired me his eternal rivalor some shit, but his name's funnier to me

I wonder why I keep finding fish scales all over the regions beaches, like surely someone else could have picked them up before me, couldn't they?

also this battle girl tried to monopolized this beach

it didn't work out for her
or me, since I have another crazy on my every growing list of crazies

"define rare"

"why would you meditate on an open road where there are two body builders training?"
neither of them gave me answers

although the collector did show me a catgoose, which I suppose is answer enough

and this viscous looking snake

and then elliot called to let me know he fucked up catching a "pelipur" whatever those are

and then I move move enhancement drugs in the middle of the road
who keeps dropping this stuff?

and so I made the uneventuful trip through rustboro and mauville to find that the magma grunts had abandoned their post
who ever trains them will have to give the grunts a real discipline check

and so I took the cable car up mount chimney
it was moderately uneventful
a calm before I kicked teams magma ass, if you will

leaving the station, I find terrorists locked in a vicious caniney cat fight

"yes thats the real issue with their plan, not that they want to erupt a volcano in the middle of the region"

and so, I find archie fighting off three grunts at once, his poor poochyena

"having a mosh pit on top of a volvano?"
"they're trying to kill us all!"
"same difference really"

"for what purpose"

"but why?"
"for the titan......................................................................................"
he refused to elaborate on what this titan was
I chose to believe its some tiny adorable fluffy thing that brings peace and happiness to all
because its funny

"how does erupting a volcano benefit anyone"
he seemed to not hear me
alas

also this makes me wonder if archie is incompetent
the answer is probably yes, but I still dont know why he didn't bring more grunts

"and how are you gonna do that"

"that's not how anything works"

"why can;t you just build one now?"

"oh, that's why, never mind you have the most valid reasoning of anyone here to want this volcano to erupt"

also they was some clear amount of strategy that went into this

didn't help at all, but at least they tried

I apparently they think water is the biggest evil of all
fucking morons

"because there's at least two settlements that would be destroyed by an eruption, likely more"
and it went over his head
the life of a grunt in a nutshell

and at last, I met with the jackass who pushed me a meteor falls

he didn't realize he was my side objective
shame

what kind of dude is named tabitha
fucking fattys

damn it geck

who keeps two of the same pokemon on their team

also rip this tiny magma camel
pelted to unconsciousness by a 5 hit multiattack move

and thats the story of how geck curbstomped the magmas second in command team without any issue

"stop being vague as fuck about the titan and tell me!"
"no"

how cute, he thinks his boss can here him over the volcano

and so I met the magma boss at last

he really likes to talk to himself

and being vague as fuck for what his plans actually are

also it took 5 minutes of his mumbling to actually notice me, so tabbys attempt to get his attention is even sadder in hindsight

also apparently there was some magma fuck spying on the oceanic museam
somehow

oh I'm famous

"hell yeah bitch"
"uncouth youth"

"they still do you dumbass"

and he's immune to being called a dumbass
shit

"things are still evolving, more land isn't gonna help that, especially something like hardened magma you idiot"
"SILENCE"
"no"

"you aint advancing shit"
he ignored that, too caught up in his rant to payme mind
fucking terrorists

and then he vaguely mentioned titan, for which I still had no reference for what it actually is

that however, seemed to calm him out of ranting at me

"you and what pokemon team"
damn I'm slick

and so we battled

unforunatly, bulkhead couldn't oneshot the mightyena, and maxie sent in something more capable of fighting bulkhead

zubat

and so I forced maxie to use a potion

I sent in geck to secure the ko

it didn't go exactly as planned

but it worked out with minimal permanent damage down to geck overall

and so, maxie sent out his trump card

something that riri couldn't oneshot with a 4x advantage,which is kind embarrassing
oh well

and thats the story of how I beat my first terrorist boss
it wasn't that exciting honestly

at least it got maxie to fuck off from the eruption machine, so thats a plus

however, he promised to meet me again, which I'm certain is a bluff

although there was some more vague muttering about orbs, which I'm sure are nothing

and then I got proper recognition
from the other terrorist leader but still

"I did all the work though"
"ah but who held off all the grunts?

"

"your other grunts"

"the green guys, bitch"
upon saying this, I really hoped there wan't some secret third terrorist group populated solely by green fucks

indeed

"have fun chasing them through a volcano"

and with that, archie fucked off
I however had one more thing to do

which was to give cozmo back his rock

and so I defused the volcano erupting device
same its too heavy to push into the lava though

next time I travel down mount chimney

 

[YinYang9705]

its nice to be able to make shorter parts again after the 180+ images I took dealing with team magmas shit

Spoiler: part 21, volcanic descent

after attempting to push the magma device into the volcano, I find this old woman selling cookies near the exit
I buy one just to taste it
it tastes like the ash that falls from the volcano

"volcanic and bumpy?"
"yes"
I choose not to continue the conversation after that

while battling the mad man, deck learned this

not the best picture, but he sorta of dances around the opponent before slicing them with his green laser blades, which is cool as shit

and then he starting bragging about his lovce for the mountains, so I booked it before it got weird

and then I ran into this little lad

he nonlethally chopped the shit outta geck so thats why I named him that

moving down the mountain, I find this leftover grunt
being the hero I am, I had to confront him

he seemed confused that I went the only way down to lavaridge and not just giving of the league challenge
unless the terrorists dont think I'm taking the league challenge, which in that cause his confusion is justified

also I turned the question back on him
the real mans debate tactic

"since you just tried to dump hoenn in lava, alot of it I guess"
since led to a battle

it did not go well for the man

wait what

"well since the terrorist told me so, I'll just forget about it"
I then actually forgot about since ultimately its just a front standing infront of a rock

"then why are you here"

that led to a fight in which decimel got the shit beaten out of him with status effects

after which she become yet another person on my growing list of contacts who surely wont bug me with their inane conversations

which on cue, dylan called to bug me with his inane conversation

"how does that help you command pokemon"
she didn't have a response to that

clearly this man saw the face of god and wasn't impressed if he keeps doing that
clearly he's the bravest person in hoenn
or an adrenaline junkie who knows he's far too deep into his fixes to make sane decisions
either or really

also this was on of the least threating battles I've ever had
just look at them

also he wrecks his body for his fix, truely he's the bravest man here

"its a rock, there's probably nothing weird about it at all"

after which, I find an extra great ball, to make up for the one I used on cachop
thanks whatever guy that lost this

he says this when half his team is flying
sure half of two is not alot, but its still half

"how those walking on a shitty road help with commanding pokemon"
he also didn't have a response to this

and with that lack of response, I was finished for mount chimney

and then i saw like 5 old people, so clearly this is a retirement home with a gym that forces people to visit
clever bastards
also it has hot springs, and that's probably relaxing as shit

Spoiler: new guys stats

and here we see that everything between fallarbor and rustboro is rash
clearly

and so, I learned about how lavaridge has natural hotsprings, which is a neat thing to know before I chill out on my own

or with a couple of old woman, whatever

"that sounds pretty neat actually"

and so after dealing with terrorists, I took a well earned break in the hit springs

next time I deal with the gym

 

[YinYang9705]

and now, the gym battle I missed last week

Spoiler: part 22,battle in the mildly hot sand

after finishing y R&R, I find this little girl who thinks the hot springs are the key to flannerys abilities
how interesting

upon entering the drug herb shop, this old man gives me a piece of burnt wood
fucking senile old fools

"what about the pokemon that like bitter foods"
"especially those pokemon"
I asked what he meant by that, but his hearing aid shorted out while I was talking to him
damn elderly

apparently I'm not the only dipshit who unknowingly left two compatible pokemon together in the daycare, so that's nice

after making a mental note of the old women by the sandbeds, I entered the gym

"well what else could she raise near a volcano"
by the time he thought up an answer to that question,, I was gone

"what flames, its a sauna"
he then sent out a slugma, which still doesn't answer the flames question

also its pathetically weak, so there was no worry at all

"OH FUCK"

thank god for intimidate eh?

also that wasn't the slugman, it was this hiker dude

who seems really interested in flannery

I decided not to think about it

another "amazing" showcase from a slugma

and then this guy thinks he's a poet

so after traveling a bit more through the maze, I ended up in this trap
by someone who didn't read the memo when he signed up for the job

"I guess?, they didn't seem fazed when I battled on top of mt chimney"
he seemed slightly unnerved by that

I dont think the thing on the left is a fire type

its packing some pretty intense firepower though

and it didn't matter at all
alas poor coolguy
too weak to significantly damage decimel

"I'm sure this will be relevant when I'm old and busted, ut right now I'm hiking across the region with no end in sight"
"you'll be sitting for a large part of the journey, dont you worry about that"
I soon learnt what he meant by that, but for the moment, I'd ignored him

and here we see a guy putting what that kindlier said to good use

shame it didn't help him beat me, but that's too be expected

"not really no"
he then tried to have his slugma rock throw me, but that worked out about as well as the last three times it happened

he praised my skill while trying to warn me about flannery
I didn't take it as a warning so I ignored him

I probably should've listened

I then found this eloquent young girl who is clearly fitting with the fire themeing of the gym

see this pale and blue monk, its clearly part fire typed

it has a fire move and anything

also flannery has alot of gym trainers that want to fuck her
it's slightly concerning honestly

after walking around in circles for 5 miuntes, I finally reached flannery

she doesn't seem to have settled on an intro before a got here, alas

"difficulty with coming up with something coool to say? I've been there"
"no wait I think I got something"

"this is something I guess"

and after she uhed her way through her boss intro, I didn't have the heart to come up with a witty one liner

so we battled

you can assume who the two pokemon missing from my team are

her numel wasn;t that big of a threat

it did, however get this off

and also used up her turn to heal, so I thought I could wait out the weather

unfortunately, by the time I beat the numel, there was still a bit of sun left

"its a slugma, its not going to kill him"

"fuck"

after having riri take out the slug, I was in full no chances mode

bulkhead helped out by oneshotting the camerupt

the torkoal however, was trickier

stupid bulky tortisies

stupid paralysis chance

stupid crits

but I still won anyways

"how recently we talking?"
"I dont know who normans predecessor was"
"oh"

apparently this was a learn experience for her

so at least decimels death lead to flannery learning to accept herself
unfortunately, I'm still stuck with a pile of ashes I used to call a loudred, so its less a bittersweet revelation, and more of a sarcastic "good for you"

at least I got a badge out of it

see?

shame I dont have any normal types to take advantage of this, oh well

also I got the move that killed him, hooray

and then I got her phone number because I can't stay mad at a cute girl

"is it you're grandfather?"

"oh shit, guess this means I'm ready for norman now"

next time, the trick master abducts me again!
also maybe the desert
probably

 

[YinYang9705]

Whoops I spent the past two hours looking at ben10 promos and concept art instead of preparing this update
its not even a taxing update its filler so I can have the norman battle on friday

Spoiler: part 23, a tricky burial

after leaving the gym, make walks out of the herb shop
most likely getting cheap herbal shit for whatever birch needs cheap herbal shit for

"yeah same"

> I missed bathing with may
DAMN YOU FLANNERY, I'LL NEVER FORGIVE YOU FOR THIS

"well one of them died in the process, but yeah"
"oh I'm so sorry for your loss"
"me too"

i wondered what new and exciting key item may would give me this time

it turned out to be goggles
so I guess I can travel through the desert now, which is neat

"its a hobby at this point tbh"

"yes that's why I challenge gyms, to be better then you, you've figured it out"
she appears to not have registered this, which makes me wonder if I'm just a mute

and then she went to suicide on dad

I just hoped there wouldn't be bloodstains when I get there

remembering the old mans words, I talked to this hag

apparently, pokemon eggs can't be hatched by heat alone

you need to keep it close to pokemon for it to hatch, which is just weird

"you know, aside from the dead one"
I wondered how she knew about decimel

anyways I took the egg

and entered the pokemon center to find....

that the trickmaster won't even let me bury my dead, the dick

also his dresser was glowing

apparently among his many powers in the altering of his size, because he was just chilling in a drawer, drinking tee and watching cheap soap operas on a folded pair of jeans

"you kidnapped me you dick"
"technically I just replaced the interior of the pokemon center with my home"
"and it was against my will, you jackass"
and so he fled to his backroom once again

trying to leave, I found that his door locks from the outside
fucking interdiemeinsional imps

having no chice, I healed riri up and decided to see what new maze awaited me

and he blocked the way with rocks
for some reason, maybe I had something to do with it idk

apparently this maze is particularly confusing, as this camper seems super frustrated by it

also I battled the chameleon again, learning that multi hit moves are a poor choice to something that changes type when attacked

"allow me to play you a song on the worlds tiniest violin"

Spoiler: the song I played for him

"the exit is too your left man"
"WE CANT ESCAPE UNTIL SOMEONE HAD BEATEN THE TRICK MASTER, I'VE BEEN HERE FOR WEEKS, I USED TO HAVE THREE OTHER POKEMON AN-"
and that was the point I walked away from the raving madman

and here we see someone who wasn't driven mad by the maze
although he's a hiker, so maybe he's used to labyrinthine layouts in small dirty areas

well this seems familiar

went the same way it did last time too, poor compass rock

"too many"

and then I found the scroll, sparing that poor campers remaining pokemon
but probably not the camper

and here we see the final victim of my game with the trickmaster

her skitty was a wily one I tell you what

but still not a real threat

and then this happened because nothing can ever be easy with me

and then panic seems to have finally set in with this poor picnicker
alas

and then I found the exit door, saving trickeys victims from insanity
well two of them at any rate

not after what I saw he's not

I'd say something like it was too easy, but considering the state of his other victims maybe I'm just good at mazes

"what about the other people in your maze"
"what about them?"

and then I moved up on his totem pole, which considering the state of the other people, is not really a good thing

and then he gave me a rock and fucked off

at least I'm back in a place were the residents aren't raving lunatics
just wishing for death

at last, I got to bury decimel, sorry about getting you killed by a slugma

I put the unknown egg next to his two unhatched hyena pups, so consider what to do with it for the future

got geck and cacca back on the team

and looked over my reserves to decided on who to replace decimel

next time I deal with the desert, and maybe mount chimneys top, although I might just offscreen that idk yet

 

[YinYang9705]

so how about that direct eh?
you know what all those modern and new games put me in the mood for?
a 14 year game for the game boy advance, lets go

Spoiler: part 24, desert travels

after some time had passed, I finally decided on tork, simply for the fact that grass/water/fire is a pretty decent core, and he was the strongest fire type immediately available to me

also he can learn strength, so that's another HM I have on my team at all times

remembering the strength boulder, I returned to firey pass to pick this up
eh

also bits learned dig because I screwed up the boulder placement, and I didn't have the patience to walk out

and then I found my 1st elemental stone, which surely I will have plenty of opportunity to use in the future

afterwords I went back to mount chimney to stock up at lavaridge, and found that it has been infested with beautys since I last came here, and this opportunistic hiker

I'd have more respect for his hustle if he didn't look at me the same way my mother looked at those bodybuilders on tv

after dealing with that, I entered the desert hell of route 111, finding the sand tower I kept seeing on my various passages through the route

with no hesitation, I entered what the pokenav called the mirage tower

and found this lttle fella

who I called trapa, because I thought it was a neat thing to name him

and then I found out towers made of sand have shitty infrastructure

but at least the mach bike can outrace crumbling floors, so at least I had that
all the next floor had was rocks, so I skipped it

finally I reached the final floor

turns out this place is a tomb of sorts for these two fossils, that somehow support the entire tower
I didn't know which one to pick, so I made the most logical choice
I flipped a coin for them

the coin landed on heads, so I picked the left one

the tower didn't like that

it really didn't like that

and so, the route fossil sank into the sand, to be lost for eternity
alas

also apparently this man wanted to enter the tower
that I ruined
oops

and then I found some drugs some jackass dropped into the sand

afterwords, I have discovered that the people of hoenn are the most determined people alive, because jesus christ why would you want a picnic in the fucking desert

also that she likes battling, but that's less notable then the picnic thing

and then she warned me that pokemon find sand rough, course, irritating, and that it gets everywhere
I suppose that's why riri looked hurt after a turn of battle

and then this jackass called me

"I'm taking the gym challenge"
"so......"
"no, not much"

"it makes me feel like a loser"
and then he tried to beat me up for insulting the dignity of goggles

all that happened was that I made fun of his name
seriously who names a boy Beau

at least he took the loss gratefully

and then I ran into a baltoy
I caught it in the first ball I threw, so that's why you only get the naming screen
I named it ten-eyes because it seems fitting for it, idk

and then this guy tried to brag about his looks

it didn't work out so well

and then I learned of the wonderful and not at all annoying ability sand veil
it certainly wont give me a scare later on
nope not at all

I then found candy in a rock
I dont know why there was candy in a rock, but I aint complaining about a free level

"in the mirage tower"
"what's that?"
"history"
she didn't appreciate me destroying the fossil place very much

"I guess, I wouldn't know anything about ancient geography"
"or preserving artifacts"
"IT WAS MADE OF SAND, IT WAS NEVER GOING TO LAST"

and then I found space sand
which I'm beginning to think is just slightly shinier regular sand

"are you sure you weren't just circling a rock?"
"YOU DARE INSULT MY PROFESSION"

and then we battled, and I begain to fear for gecks life

fortunately, I needn't have worried
but oh my god that was terrifying

"fuck you"
in hindsight that was irrational of me to say, but he didn't catch it so fuck it

and then for some god forsaken reason he became another one of my contacts

fucking senile old men

"tough enough to not panic when my starter was almost killed"
"is that what those screams were?"

and then there's this idiot
I dont even like sandwiches

also the runi maniac gave me a slight pause when he sent this out

but I didn't need to worry

"it wasn't, you absolute fucking idiot"

"like the mirage tower?"
"only idiots care about that, what I'm after is much more valuable to history"
"what is it"
"I'm not gonna tell the dumbass that broke the mirage tower shit about ruins"
and then he stopped responding to me
fucking old people

heading down south, I see rocks in a strange formation
I'm sure it means nothing though

and then I find sandstorm, which was the clear goal this entire time
yup
totally

also I can see the battle hill tower from here, which makes me wonder how big it is
oh well

next time, I fight norman at last

 

[YinYang9705]

Whoops i missed friday, as an apology have a special Saturday family reunion

Spoiler: part 25, Dads Gym

so as some last minute preparations, I had tork spend some quality time at the daycare to train him up enough for dad, while that was happening I checked up on my desert catches
I think they're they're decent, although trapa is like my third rash mon in 4 routes

also I was hatching the egg that old woman gave me

I have no idea on what its supposed to be

but she looks happy enough, so there's not much of an issue here

afterwords I remember the slope that was in granite cave, so I visited for one last time

it was not super worth it

on my way back to petalburg,one of the triathletes called me,three seconds later, I heard a crash and some swearing, along with a thud after a couple of seconds, so I assume they dont have dont call and ride psas in hoenn
that or she was a fucking idiot, either way

stopping in rustboro, I remember that this man was playing god

and he was successful at it too,

"can you bring any pokemon back to life?"
"depends on weather or not they've been fossilized"
"well one was burnt to literal ash....."
no, the answer was no

and so I gave him the fossil I destroyed the mirage tower for

and thus I had a new friend

and thus I got an ancient water bug

who I named rith because I couldn't come up with anything better

looks decent enough though

and before I entered the gym sawyer called to tell me about more about the hot women of mount chimney
I herd uncomfortable slurping sounds while this was happening, so I quickly hanged up

and then I made it to the gym, and the guy told me about its gimmick

"shame"

also they're shameless fucks about item usage, but I suppose I am too, so it evens out

the team for this gym run

"can't beat what you can't hurt"

tork was then immediately crit, so I guess I was the one who was wrong

also he's a shamefuck about healing

but so was I so it all worked out

"I'm sure you have the most tanky of pokemon"

I then learned wigglytuff was native to hoenn

and that they hurt like a motherfucker like jesus christ

but vital throw did alot more so it worked out

"that's why I use moves with perfect accuracy"

and then I saw that her cat was wearing a toilet seat, and then I laughed

and then tork was taken on a critical ride

"how bad could they possibly be"

I think this was the wigglytuff girl actually, but I don't know

"gym leaders do it all the time, so yeah"

and then cacca fought a sloth

ah sloth with ghost powers at that

but it wasn't the most threatening of creatures either way

and then he blamed his loss on nepotism

before realizing that's stupid, and change tunes accordingly

and then I found the annoyhing status room

super well by this point in time I'd imagine

and then tork faced the strongest of moves

but he was at two curses on a noodle limbed drunken ash panda, so he took it well enough

and then he kept spamming focus punch, so it didn't end well for him

"yeah probably"

thanks for the lack of nepotism dad, I guess

and then her cat weasel went down like a punk

"and you did less damage then a fucking wigglytuff"

that's the second person to compare me to dad
feels good that we have something in common tbh

"will you thought?"

and then geck was not crit, and this cooltrainer had egg on his face

and so another person compared me to dad

and thus, after taking a trip to the pokecenter, I was ready to face dad at last

"did you expect anything else?"

and so, the battle that I've spent the journey so far building up to, was finally about to pass

"happy enough to take it easy on me?"

"goddamn it"

"oh I will"

and so, I enacted my clever strategy

get confused

and snap out of it immediately because I was it coming

but really it was to spam curse

and oneshot the ash panda

and fail to one shot the energy sloth but he healed afterwords anyways

"how cute"

and then tork crit for good measure

also he learned protect

given that tork is fully powered and this is still the most he can do to slaking, I'm justified with bitching out with protect

on last crit for the road

and so I beat dad so badly he stuttered

he seems slightly shocked

but also proud

and so I obtained the 5th badge

"neat"

"finally
"

and then he gave me facade

"oh..."

"oh....?"

AND THEN THIS JACKASS INTERRUPTS OUR FATHER SON BONDING TIME

next time I start surfing around hoenn

 

[YinYang9705]

expect the next few updates to be later then usual since gardening makes me hate life

Spoiler: part 26 tricky reunions

after beating dad, this asshole showed up to ruin our reunion

"no"

"actually I'd prefer it if I-"
"great, I'll make sure to return him in one piece!"

"bye son, make sure to visit your mother sometime"
"Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa-"

and so mr wally kidnapped me in front of my own father

mostly just to thank me for making his asthmatic kid less asthmatic

"yes, that is a version of what happened"

at least I leave a legacy of one person happy
its a better record then my previous gym teacher
god rest his soul

"I can tell, you interrupted me being happy for it"
he seems to not have understand that

"yes, walter, my greatest friend"

and then he gave me the ability to ride my pokemon across water

"so why couldn't this have been done in the gym?"
"because I once hit on normans wife infront of him, it was super awkward "
and then my desire to speak to this man evaporated

"is it that you're cheating on him?"
this didn't get a reaction out of her

"shame"

"YOU MEAN TO TELL ME THAT YOU CHEATED ON YOUR HUSBAND?!"
this started a fight that I used to escape
but I'm pretty sure they both want to kill me now, so at least I finally pissed someone off

and so I returned home to meet up with mom

and forgot that the trick master was watching me like a hawk

fucking window men

"is it really beyond if you shrunk to fit between the wood and the glass?"
"yes"

"no I came to speak to my mother"

"no its because you're a psychopath who puts people through his insane games of maze solving"

and then he left and I was forced to handle his maze
damn imps

and so, I see that he has resorted to block pushing puzzles
I'm really driving him mad it seems

also he's resorted to kidnapping idiots to make himself feel better

"eh, maybe, but I doubt that the sea has very many trainers to go through"

and then I pushed two boulders once and I found the scroll
tricky's slipping it seems

"how does that help you with pokemon battles?"

it didn't

and then this black belt gave what I assume he thought was good advice
I just nodded and walked away

"not really no"

and then I encountered this punching mushroom dinothing
apparently it evolves from shroomish, which just makes me wonder whats up with hoenns fauna
or flora in this case
maybe
fucking plant animals

"me right now!"

and so I made it to the end

it seems that tricky is coping with his loss's well, I guess

"are you sweating?"
he didn't anwser it, but I think he was sweating

"shame"

still moving on up, but I'm pretty sure he's just showboating at this point

and then he gave me this, apparently it makes escaping instant, but I have high speed mons so its worthless to me

"oh no tricky, I think it's exactly the point that I've won"

and then he just fucking teleported me infront of my moms house, didn't even give me the pretext of the tunnel
that's three people who I've gotten under their skins
feels pretty good honestly

and then before we had a nice chat mom made sure I had her phone number

and then she noticed I beat dad

to commemorate such an occasion.....

she gave me the amulet coin, a coin on a piece of clothe that compels people to give me more money when I win
which I think was sweet of her

and then I spent the 1st night in a long while at home, watching tv with my pokemon buddies while mom read her novels in her favorite chair
it was a nice change of pace after camping out in the woods for a month

but the journey must go on, so I headed out to the sea near petalburg to make the next step of my journey

next time I travel the length of one and a half routes, maybe

 

[YinYang9705]

and so, I begin one of the most infamous parts of the game
SURFING

Spoiler: part 27, watery travels part one

and so I surfed, into the wild blue yonder

were I was almost immediately ambushed by this swimmer

who really wasn't up to the task

I think being at sea for far too long scrambled her brains

and then I surfed over to this guy

expect to see bits getting cucked outta her main use on the team alot

"I think it has something to do with light"

"that's fair, its a boring ass place when its not under pirate attack"

and then I found someone who went mad

he's been stranded on this island for so long he thinks rocks can be mystical and/or entertaining

and then I find these two jackasses guarding a treasure

"why did you swim all the way out here then"
"because"

"I mean, yeah, you know how much shit gets washed up by it?"

these are the least threating things they could have sent out

second verse same as the first

"no"
and then he added himself to my contacts list anyways
fucking treasure hunters

and then I was disappointed with what they were guarding

"fatty"
she didn't take that well

and this was the only notable thing she did to me anyways

"neat"

"alas"

and then I found a similar rock formation to the one I saw in the desert
I doubt they're related

and then I found the pelipper that the fisherman called me about all those weeks ago

it was surprisingly difficult to catch

I thought the name seemed fitting, what can I say

"how do you miss the fact that I'm clearly over the water"
he didn't answer this

"yeah sure"

and then I regretted my decision

but it worked out anyways

"I'll be sure to remember that as I flail about while water enters my lungs"

and then I found this scale on this tiny bit of beach

"how does that relate to pokemon battles"
he avoided the question

"and I dont care"

and then I thought I was being prank called

this didn't alleviate that thought

clearly this man has a death wish

"why did you call me"

and that was yet another waste of my time

"no it isn't"

and then I thought cacca was in trouble

but he handled it just fine

I then questioned the swimmer lifestyle
the short of it is that people who spend the majority of their time in the sea are crazy

and then I made a pit stop in dewford

"what"

"should I"

"sure thing prick"

while my team was healing up I checked out the status of the new bird
she's alright

"I just fucking came from there"

"nothing weird about yo mother"
she then slapped me off riri

"what about the other chick"
"who?"

and then this fish lightly damaged bits
damn rough skin

"that's implying I remember everyone I've ever registered on this damn thing"

i then found this team just chilling by the rocks

and one again bits was cucked outta her ability

"probably"
"certainly not the "friends" I made in hoenn thought"

and then this idiot called to tell me he lost

"how does that even happen?"

goddamn it

"it's not"
"at all"

"I really don-"

"goddamn it"

"aren't you already swimming though?"
he didn't have an answer for that

"whatever works for you"

"who"

and then i thought this would lead somewhere interesting

it however, did not
alas

"what"
so it turns out that shipwreck I spotted on brineys wild ride was a tourist trap
somehow

damn pirannhas and their half dark typing

it worked out in the end however

after ignoring the drowning swimmer, I surfed up to the wrecked ship with the intent to loot it
I just hoped their would be enough left to loot

next time I explore the abandoned ship
and maybe, probably finish off the water routes for now

 

[Squiggy Azalea]

hey, this is a neat run you got! and it's your first screenshot run too, major props and welcome to the forums!
emerald's a pretty nifty game to play, and it's also a pretty fair game, being not too tough but also not too easy as well
i'll be looking over this run, for sure: good luck with your run!

 

[Nimbostratus]

so much water. don't you just love Hoenn.

 

[YinYang9705]

Spoiler: replies

hey, this is a neat run you got! and it's your first screenshot run too, major props and welcome to the forums!
emerald's a pretty nifty game to play, and it's also a pretty fair game, being not too tough but also not too easy as well
i'll be looking over this run, for sure: good luck with your run!

thanks for the welcome, it started like a month and a half ago but better late then never
I just picked emerald because its the pokemon game I have the most experience with

so much water. don't you just love Hoenn.

honestly I'd have less issue with the water if they're was more then 2 lines to be encountered while surfing
its not like fishing helps with this either, this for this entire petalburg-slateport stretch the only things I could fish up are magicarp and tentacool, which I already have

time for more water route, this time with 100% more shipwrecks

Spoiler: part 28,watery travels part two

and so I entered the dangerous abandoned ship, filled with holes, creaking floors, and.....

alotta tourists

"why are you here?"
she didn't answer that

and this kid was playing hide and seek
apparently

if I appeared to be making a poor move

that's because I know what I'm doing

and then a crazy woman on a shipwreck became another contact to annoy me

"so why was the abandoned ship the first thing that came to your mind "
"its perfect, nobody comes here so it'll be the last place she looks"

I then encountered a greedy looter

who was also an idiot

moving down stairs, I encountered this guy

....not the type of pokemon I'd expect a sailor to have honestly

that's more like it

"so there's various untapped treasures is what you're saying"

"so why didn't you bring one?"
"the dive hm has been lost for generations, some think it doesn't even exist"
"huh... what about scuba gear"
he seemed to have ignored that part

and then I encountered a locked door
truly this is the greatest challenge yet
it might take me hours to find the proper key

"so why'd you come"
"I live here"

having decided to leave the hobos living area, I found this gimmicky thing

and then I found an unsupervised child
damn hoenn with its misleading names

"nothing really"
and so the child left me alone

I was then ambushed by a ruin maniac and his niece

I hoped she was his niece at least, cause otherwise why would they be guarding this door to ambush people

that was the marill, so tork is clearly my go to wallfrom this point on

"neat"
I then forgot about the encounter

"why, to make up for your failing relationship?"
they really didn't take that well
especially since they've been dating for 8 years by this point
whoops

and now I have more contacts that dislike me
alas

"didn't he design this ship?"
"this ship has been here for decades kid, how would he design this?"
".....time travel?"

"what about that item right there?"
"that's a key kid"
"oh"

turns out it was for this locked door, so at last I could get....

neat

back on the open sea, I find candy in a rock

"why would he lie about finding you attractive?"
she didn't have an answer for that

and then her team of water types was bodied by tork

women

and then I find these two guarding what I assume to be something valuble

"well one of us will go done quick

"neat"

we'll this seems promising

and so we fought

this was the only thing the cooltrainer accomplished this battle

well that and giving tork his best move

tork repayed her by oneshotting the rest of her team

realizing she's boned, she tryed to keep the wingull in the fight

it didn't work out all that well

and then I got another contact
hooray

turns out they were guarding a piece of a meteor
I wonder if I'l get alot for selling it

"please do"
"I mean what"

"you will die trying that you know"
he seemed to have ignored me
I should probably be more bothered then I am that this happens alot
eh

oh god damn it

"........alright"
I then surfed away from him

I then learned route 109 had beach islands away from the main part of the beach
weird

and then I found a birdman and a fishman staring at eachother on this one
wild

"stop standing on the beach chair"

i thought this would be easy enough

and then the bird man sent out a fucking skarmory

and the fishmans second pokemon was a tentacool that crit with acid
fortunately it was easy enough to take out with cacca helping geck

after taking out the fisherman, I could safely switch in tork

and have cacca heal himself

damn swift

and then he sent out a second skarmory
I have a torkal with flamethrower
I think you can imagine how it went

"lewd"

"ok then, have fun"

oh goddamn it

after ignoring the ruin guy, I came across this women

she wasn't that much of a deal

barely could count as a threat even

"what do abs have to do with pokemon training"

not much it would seem

and then I found another sacle, this time next to a couple

a couple of idiots

guess how this works out for them

"sure"
kid only had a marill

"are you certain?"

she lost at pokemon
alas

....sure thing child

and then I made it back to land
hopefully I dont have to see deal water for a while yet

next time I deal with new mauville and make it to route 119

 

[Squiggy Azalea]

registering someone in your pokenav because they defeated you... spite truly is the ultimate motivator.
and hey, you got ice beam! that'll be super helpful against winona and stuff
lowkey tho its nice to see someone use a torkoal in a nuzlocke: i've always liked the line myself :)

 

[YinYang9705]

Spoiler: reply

registering someone in your pokenav because they defeated you... spite truly is the ultimate motivator.
and hey, you got ice beam! that'll be super helpful against winona and stuff
lowkey tho its nice to see someone use a torkoal in a nuzlocke: i've always liked the line myself :)

ice beam'd be more useful if my only user wasn't an azumarill, but I suppose it cant be helped
the main reason I choose tork was because he was the fire type most immediately useful to me

and know its time for the rest of the pre route 118 cleanup

Spoiler: part 29, side areas galore

after returning to mauville, I saw that wattson left the retirement home

turns out he needed something done, and picked the first kid he saw that walked past him
unfortunately, it was me

evidently, mauville has a basement

that they just keep useless power sources up and running for no real reason

"and you decided a thirteen year old was the best choice for it "
"yes"
"goddamn it"

and so I got the key to his basement

at least he knows how to keep a kids nerves down

"ah, so that's what the cave was"

and so watty sent me out on a quest

while surfing, I saw that team aqua in addition to robbery and attempted assault, also partake in vandalism
the nerve

fortunately, someone thought they had a better idea for the sign

unfortunately, it was team magma

and so I reached the cave, aftermuch finangleing with jellyfish and seagulls

I then entered, NEW MAUVILLE

which is is about as basementy as you can expect

only with more living pokeball bombs

I named this one explodo, because I thought it was fitting

and then I saw that voltorb like to hang out on the switches I need to press

this happens like three times in a row

also wattson left fairly high end gear in here, I got to say

and so I reached the generator

what was stopping some random pokemon from stepping on this I wonder?
aside from apathy since I doubt the local electric types care about the excess electricity

and so I returned to wattson

as thanks he gave me the most practical electric attack
I'll probably use it at some point

remembering the water north of the battle girls beach, I went to route 115 to finish exploring it

after a short trip north, I find the secret forest area

which didn't turn out to be so secret after all

"no"

turns out she had doduos evo on hand

it didn't help all that much

"alas"

also somebody kept herbal medicine just lying out in the open
I stopped questioning it honestly

turns out this old man still has his eyesight
whoops

and then this ninja decided to help turn the tied on me

it wasn't that much of a help

also he has a living stomach, which doesn't seem very ninja like, but what do I know

enough to realize geck really shouldn't be in this fight

so cacca intercepted two would be fatal attacks for a minor fraction of the damage
I love this moth

and then he confused the hariyama

for all the good it did because jesus christ

I won, but still, crits are scary

and so this old mans first for battle wasn't stated after his defeat
and thus I got another number

"me?"

"what about it"

"no"
he threw his pokemon out anyways

"that;s not a machop"

I think this man is speech impaired

"have fun with that"

after walking up the mountain, I find the most useful attack
and some iron after a muddy slope but eh

"but I wasn't facing you"

see?

and here I thought bulkhead would be a good idea to fight a psychic

my hubris was repaid in his blood

GOD
DAMNNIT

the rest of the battle went well, but christ

"fuck off"

"I somehow doubt that"

normally I would be flattered by that, but since I just got bulkhead needlessly killed, it just filled me with regret

also there's rare berries here, which I then took to make them less rare

in the nearby grass patch, I find this fluffy puffball of a bird

she put bits to sleep, which annoying

I thought that's how you spell operetta, clearly I was wrong

rest in piece buddy, sorry I got you slaughtered

Spoiler: the new guys

I'm sure these are both optimal natures and not shit

and so I put explodo on the team, because I wanted an electric type

and so I reached the beach of route 118, making me wonder what locations are across the pond

next time you see explodo evolve and all of the pre weather institute area

 

[Squiggy Azalea]

oh no not bulkhead.... rip :(
those are some nice catches you got there! swablu's good, and voltorb is... alright, nothing too good, but still decent enough to get the job done!

 

[YinYang9705]

Spoiler: reply

oh no not bulkhead.... rip :(
those are some nice catches you got there! swablu's good, and voltorb is... alright, nothing too good, but still decent enough to get the job done!

shit sucks, but what are you gonna do about random crits?
they'd be better if they weren't both special attack - natures, and the main reason I'm using the voltorb is because its my only electric type in the box and I am before winnona

and the release date of a new pokemon, the perfect opportunity to update my nuzlocke with a game that doesn't feature the pre evo of the new mon at all

Spoiler: part 30, the gap between mauville and fortree part one

during my grueling traning session with explodo, he faced down a gyarados!

and won, because four times weaknesses are a bitch to overcome

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA"

after the double gyarados man, I lost my patience with trying him the old fashion way, and used one of my rare candies to have him evolve

for a certain definition of evolution, but at least now he can face down level 30 + tentacool and not lose half his hp to a bubblebeam

also I taught him thunderbolt because its not like I have anyone else who would want this attack

and so once more I face down the massive body of water separating the two sides of the main hoenn landmass, what horrors shall I face crossing it

none but a fisherman bragging about his rod

that he forced on to me
alas

I then found some drugs on this rock
wild

i then re-encountered the reporter duo

they clearly wanted to get their asses kicked again so I obliged

they got moderately stronger, which was cute at least

and so I won
again

"yes that was what I think of your battling skills"

and so I gave another interview

what did I say?
you'll find out later
probably

"I'm sure this two turn rout will be a battled studied for generations to come"

"sure"

"how does that make you any different from every other fisherman I've met"

this was bullet seed
the first bullet seed
man carvanha just cant catch a break with geck

"shame"

"hello vaguely familiar silver haired man"

"ah yes, the prostitute mr stone had me deliver his payment for "
"...not even close to what was in that letter"

"alot"

"is this going anywhere?"

"it's not going anywhere is it"

it didn't

"maybe"

and that's how my second encounter with mr stones prostitute went

"oh buddy"

his birds went zap

afterwards, on my way to pick some berries, I encountered a raccoon

I named her zagina an she shall live in my pc for the foreseeable future

"oh buddy"

that wingull aint flying elegantly in the near future I'll tell you that for free

"and not challenge people with electric types, that'll help you out"

and so I went left and found....

a cool trainer with confidence issues

and a youngster with an "awesome bug"

said bug turnout to be a massive stag beetle, so maybe he had a point in calling it awesome

or rather, would have if he used its one turn effectively

"no"
of course, I have no idea who his brother is, but he didn't know that

"that's right"

huh
all those dont judge people by their cover psas in elementary lied to me

....I guess?
idk, I have allergys, so alot of "good aromas" involve me sneezing my head off

"not in a minute it wont be"

and so I looted the berry garden

I looted it hard

there was no berries here after I was done with it

they had the wurmple evos
needless to say, it was a short battle

I then met the so called berry master

apparently he's related to the pretty petal sisters, as he's the one who gave them their current goals

and so I have obtained a self raised berry

>cornn
goddamnit

and also a grepa berry, whatever that was
while he was giving me berrys, I noticed my interview with gabby and ty was on

this is what I said
I'm a great interviewie

and so I reached route 119, I wonder what wonders we'll find on this route?

next time we see what wonders are on this route!

 

[Squiggy Azalea]

aw hell yeah the berry master garden.... perfect for leppa farms

i like how you keep roasting the fuck out of the reporters.... poor fellas just wanted to have a fun interview and you're out here roasting their asses LMAO