• Want to support a good cause? Visit https://blacklivesmatters.carrd.co/ to see how you can help the Black Lives Matter movement, even without donating.
  • The Writer's Locke has returned! Our latest episode discusses character foils, continues with our read of Carousel, and adds something new and exciting to the mix!
  • New here and still figuring out the site? Check out the New User Guide and FAQ for some help!
  • Trying to figure out how the different forums have changed? This thread is the place for you.
  • One of our new features includes receiving a message on Discord when you have alerts. Find out how, here!
  • Have you seen our Stream tab? It let's you peek in and chat with our forum streamers on-site, from both Twitch AND Picarto! You can even view multiple streams at once. You can submit your own channel via Streams > Submit Channel.
  • If you're a fan of giving and recieving constructive criticism check out this resource about Critique Level Tags!

Comic Unova General Mon Road Map Not Included: A White Nuzlocke

Thread Description
11/24 - Page 55!

ACottontail

Johto League Champion
Pokédex No.
2364
Caught
Aug 20, 2020
Messages
579
Nature
Timid
I wonder if Joey would like the dessert more once he evolved, since then he wouldn't take damage from the sandstorms in it. It looks like Mika doesn't know what a Tsundere is. While Striker may look mad at everyone, she's just trying to look tough by acting angry. Still Mika said it's best not to leave things on a bad note. Why do I sense that line as potential foreshadowing that someone's going to die soon? Striker can't take back what she said if someone's dead, and I feel like she might get into a verbal fight that she's going to regret.
 

ashdrawsarts

Conqueror of the Vermillion Gym
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
452
Caught
Jul 9, 2019
Messages
29
Nature
Quiet
Pronouns
They/them, he/him
Pokémon Type
  1. Ghost
  2. ???
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #142
Page 41!

@ACottontail Joey would probably have a much better time in this desert if she had evolved by this point. Unfortunate (Also Joey uses she/her! I just gave her a really androgynous name lol) Mika doesn't know what a tsundere is and at this point she's too afraid to ask.
Why do I sense that line as potential foreshadowing that someone's going to die soon?
:)
 

Garnet

Onion Boy
🌱Featurer
Artist
Writer
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
322
Caught
Jul 2, 2019
Messages
323
Location
Littleroot, Hoenn
Nature
Quiet
Pronouns
They/He
Pokémon Type
  1. Dark
  2. Psychic
Pokédex Entry
A strange Pokémon that claims to be both an artist and writer, yet almost never has any work to show for either.
Oogh, what a way to go. Weather damage is a cruel mistress 😔 I guess at least now Joey doesn't have to worry about competing with him for the space on the team? :')
 
Last edited:

ACottontail

Johto League Champion
Pokédex No.
2364
Caught
Aug 20, 2020
Messages
579
Nature
Timid
Wow, Nimbus... I thought it was foreshadowing Joey's death as she is so cheerful and so close to evolving. But of course elemental moneys never make it to the end of a run. I wonder how the fallout of Nimbus's death will affect the team. Nimbus felt like he was the team leader, and the one pushing the most for the team getting stronger for the gym challenge. His death must be a major blow to their morale, and on top of that he would probally be the one to encourage the others to keep going the most.
 

Kadew

sometimes life really is quite lovely
🌱Featurer
Artist
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
38
Caught
Jun 10, 2019
Messages
1,698
Location
A Dry Place
Nature
Careful
Pronouns
Pokémon Type
  1. Grass
  2. Normal
Pokédex Entry
If you encounter a wild Kadew, best practice is to gently bully her into remembering that she loves to draw. She forgets, sometimes.
Oh.... that's how you resolve the type-duplicate drama, huh? With the elemental monkey curse.

Striker fumbling with the pokeball to avoid being seen is a great little scene btw
 

Waweezer

Conqueror of the Mahogany Gym
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
1893
Caught
Apr 22, 2020
Messages
453
Pokémon Type
  1. Ground
  2. Ice
Pokédex Entry
This pokemon is known to make weird comics at random, no one really knows why.
huh, didn't know this was on the nuz forums, oh well, came here to say that your artstyle is very cute and I love the characters! :)
I still miss Nimbus tho :(
 

ashdrawsarts

Conqueror of the Vermillion Gym
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
452
Caught
Jul 9, 2019
Messages
29
Nature
Quiet
Pronouns
They/them, he/him
Pokémon Type
  1. Ghost
  2. ???
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #148
Page 42!

@Garnet Weather damage is the absolute bane of my existence and I will forever resent Route 4 for this reason specifically.
Haha yep, at least there's space on the team now ;-;

@ACottontail Those poor monkeys just never seem to last,,
The team dynamic is definitely in for some changes with Nimbus gone. You hit the nail right on the head with your analysis; he really was a sort of leader for the team and now they need to figure out what to do without him.

@Picket Furret F 😔 😔

@Kadew I tried so hard to keep him alive too. It is Entirely Unfair that those monkeys are so fragile when I get emotionally attached to them. Also thanks! Writing Striker is really fun and I was trying to keep the mood fairly light until the ending so it worked out.

@Waweezer Oh hey! I didn't know you were on here either :D Thank you so much, I'm glad you're enjoying!
I miss Nimbus every day of my life, he was a good boy :(
 

SnakeEyesDraws

yee to the haw
Artist
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
1350
Caught
Jan 19, 2020
Messages
810
Location
Postwick, Galar
Nature
Careful
Pronouns
she/her
Pokémon Type
  1. Fire
  2. Dragon
Pokédex Entry
Robot lover by day, robot lover by night as well. This Pokemon spits out a comic page about once a month before scuttling back into its room.
Oh man..... man I did not see that coming :''')
Nimbus was such a strong and defined presence on the team, even with him being an elemental monkey, I really thought he was gonna last longer. The horrible realization sinking in as the team finds him was a massive punch to the gut. I really like how you interpreted his death to weather damage as him getting separated from the group and succumbing to the elements, but ouch. I'm gonna miss the monkey ;;
Seeing the aftermath of the team broken up about it also stung. I really like the conversation and the Sandile's philosophy on the matter - usually teammates who recently joined before a death and aren't as sad over it are villianized or scolded for it, but I like how the acknowledgement of "hey, I can be sad someone died while also not sharing the same grief as everyone else because I just joined this group" was brought up. It's a good level of nuance! I'm very sad over Nimbus but I'm intrigued to see how the team moves on from this death ;w;
 

ashdrawsarts

Conqueror of the Vermillion Gym
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
452
Caught
Jul 9, 2019
Messages
29
Nature
Quiet
Pronouns
They/them, he/him
Pokémon Type
  1. Ghost
  2. ???
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #150
Page 43!

@SnakeEyesDraws Nimbus ;-; A big... not challenge, but obstacle/goal I guess? I had when making Nimbus was making him a big part of the team because people kind of expect these elemental monkeys to die super early (reasonably so considering how Fragile they can be,,). So I wanted him to be a strong character that readers wouldn't immediately write off as death fodder. He made it really far in gameplay (farther than I expected) and I really wanted to show that!
His death scene was something I had in my mind even in the very shaky outline I started the comic with so it was great finally getting to write it (even if I made myself upset while scripting haha), and I'm glad it landed with people
The conversation between Striker and Wess felt important to me because the idea of joining this group and then almost immediately seeing one of them die was such a strong hook in my mind and I was itching to have them talk about it.
The team is definitely gonna go some places moving forward, the next half of this chapter is gonna get Interesting :3
 

ACottontail

Johto League Champion
Pokédex No.
2364
Caught
Aug 20, 2020
Messages
579
Nature
Timid
I felt like you did a pretty good job with what you were trying to achieve with Nimbus's character. Nimbus was the leader that was the glue that held the team together when Clover couldn't care less. Not only did you make Nimbus feel like he was an important part of the team, but his loss is already creating a major shift in team dynamics. I wonder if anyone's going to fill his shoes as team leader. Mika seems like the most clear choice, though I could also see Joey standing up for her team. Striker seems to have the most leader like personality, but she hasn't been on the team that long. Finley seems to be dealing with some serious self doubt after losing Nimbus. While death in battles might not be common in her world, being the one person to lose a pokemon must make it hurt more. I like how Striker wants to walk out of the desert to have one last look at her home. In a lot of Nuzlockes pokemon don't really look back on their homes that much, so it's nice to see.
 

ashdrawsarts

Conqueror of the Vermillion Gym
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
452
Caught
Jul 9, 2019
Messages
29
Nature
Quiet
Pronouns
They/them, he/him
Pokémon Type
  1. Ghost
  2. ???
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #152
Page 44! Let's get started on the rest of this chapter!

@ACottontail Ah thanks! I'm glad I was able to properly convey what I was trying to do with Nimbus :D I love seeing your thoughts on who'll fill the role of team leader, and that thread will definitely get explored in the coming pages. Finley has a lot of emotions to deal with surrounding Nimbus' death and being a trainer in general, and I'm really excited to get into them :> Ah yeah, that bit with Striker was kind of a last minute addition to the page but I felt like it was a nice beat to have in a story like this.
 

ACottontail

Johto League Champion
Pokédex No.
2364
Caught
Aug 20, 2020
Messages
579
Nature
Timid
I like your twist on Bianca's dad. Having to plan out your entire future can be pretty intimidating, and I can relate to her desire to put it off. Having Jupiter offer Bianca a job is a nice tie in to the sequels. I can understand why Bianca tried to hide her lack of gym battles to Finley. If Bianca seemed nervous about them instead of just not interested there would be a good chance that Finley would try to help her. I like that face Bianca makes when she's cartoonishly full of tears and is like "really?"
 

Tailsimp

A Universally Under-Rested University Imp
🎇Contributor
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
50
Caught
Jun 15, 2019
Messages
1,217
Location
A Literal Desert
Nature
Quiet
Pronouns
She/Her
Pokémon Type
  1. Electric
  2. Psychic
Pokédex Entry
Tailsimp: The Impish Pokemon. Despite being quiet and reserved, this pokemon is usually very happy to talk and is always excited to help out!
I caught back up and I'm having so many emotions ;;A;; Im hurting from Nimbus- not just losing Nimbus but the loss happening with such a sour feeling between Nimbus and the crew. It's really smart the way you used the loss to push Bianca to open up more about her problems. And they're understandable problems! Even down to your friend being a bit too supportive. I'm so glad they've finally had their chance to talk, and here's to hoping they stay on this better note going forward. 🤞
 

ashdrawsarts

Conqueror of the Vermillion Gym
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
452
Caught
Jul 9, 2019
Messages
29
Nature
Quiet
Pronouns
They/them, he/him
Pokémon Type
  1. Ghost
  2. ???
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #155
Page 45!

@ACottontail I've been looking forward to the Bianca stuff for a While so I'm glad its going over well! She's a character with a lot going on and I wanted to get into that! (Also heck yeah! I love the bw sequels but more than likely Won't be making them comics so I like to get in those sequel nods when I can lol) That Bianca panel started as a kind of rushed thumbnail and then I couldn't come up with anything better so it stayed like that and I have No Regrets

@Tailsimp Welcome back! Enjoy the Pain >:3c
It's really smart the way you used the loss to push Bianca to open up more about her problems.
Thanks! I'm glad that part came across well! Hearing about Nimbus definitely put a lot of things in perspective for Bianca. Communication is important! So hopefully even if things aren't perfect going forward they can at least talk things out before they get to this point again
 

ACottontail

Johto League Champion
Pokédex No.
2364
Caught
Aug 20, 2020
Messages
579
Nature
Timid
I like how Finely gets annoyed that so many people are telling her sorry about her Simipour. The first one was comforting, but the others were just rubbing in how Finely let Nimbus die which is just annoying. I mean they don't even mention Nimbus by name, or really talk about Nimbus making their apologies feel more like forced obligations than anything else. I feel like Finely is more in tune with how her pokemon feel than Cheren is, judging by how excited his Pansage was to talk to normal pokemon and how he doesn't understand what he's doing wrong. It might be a while before the team is ready to fight again, a death is a pretty heavy subject to handle. I'm guessing that death isn't very common in this considering how unready Finley was for it, and how it's not taught in schools. I wonder how the future deaths will be handled. Nimbus dying in the harsh desert felt natural for a world where death isn't the norm. But for future death's you'll have to get creative to keep this tone intact.
 

ashdrawsarts

Conqueror of the Vermillion Gym
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
452
Caught
Jul 9, 2019
Messages
29
Nature
Quiet
Pronouns
They/them, he/him
Pokémon Type
  1. Ghost
  2. ???
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #157
Page 46!

@ACottontail Yeah, Finley's annoyance at that was definitely pulling from a personal place. Sometimes it can just get exhausting hearing everyone give their condolences over and over again while your still trying to grieve. Cheren definitely has a... Different approach to being a trainer than Finley does haha. You're right on the tone thing! I have Plans for future deaths but they'll definitely take some more work than Nimbus' did
 

Tailsimp

A Universally Under-Rested University Imp
🎇Contributor
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
50
Caught
Jun 15, 2019
Messages
1,217
Location
A Literal Desert
Nature
Quiet
Pronouns
She/Her
Pokémon Type
  1. Electric
  2. Psychic
Pokédex Entry
Tailsimp: The Impish Pokemon. Despite being quiet and reserved, this pokemon is usually very happy to talk and is always excited to help out!
Ooooooof. You can really feel the tension in the air these last two updates. I really do like the way Finely appreciates where ppl are coming from but just. Needs them to stop. And it's nice to see that Cheren can hear that and respect it where others might get really upset about it. It shows a really high level of comfort with each other, even when things are uncomfortable overall. Speaking of- I love them having a discussion where Finely admits to being upset at being left out of the loop like that. And Cheren doesn't try to deny or deflect it either! Just listens to Finely and accepts that it's fair for Finely to feel that way. And that little moment of Cheren saying to breathe is a really nice way to end out the page after Finely gets (understandably) upset over not really knowing what to do next. It's a very solid scene.

You also did a fantastic job with the fallout on the team's side. The way no one really knows how to begin until someone just forces it out into the open is really relatable; and it's really engaging to see how each character deals with it. Some not acknowledging it still, some denying that it was a thought, and some getting angry after a bit of pushing- it's all really interesting to see! Even that rude comment helps shed some light on liepard as a character! And that final shot makes me wonder how Finely and Cheren are doing after all... this.

Fantastic updates as always~! 💖
 

ashdrawsarts

Conqueror of the Vermillion Gym
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
452
Caught
Jul 9, 2019
Messages
29
Nature
Quiet
Pronouns
They/them, he/him
Pokémon Type
  1. Ghost
  2. ???
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #159
Page 47!


@Tailsimp aaaa ty for the nice comment ;-;!! Finley and Cheren's relationship is just so Important to me like. Their dynamic is so different but they still care about each other even if they don't always see eye-to-eye. They've been friends for a long time and I'm glad that their friendship can come through so clearly to readers!
I love writing for the other pokemon because they have such a fun range of personalities and perspectives on situations. It's great to just throw things at them and see how everyone reacts. They may not be incredibly important in the grand scheme of things, but they have a place in my heart <3
Finley and Cheren Definitely need to talk. Will they? Who knows :3
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top