Nuzforum LGBTQA+ Thread!

Extravanganza Accordian Demo Extravanganza Accordian Demo
Thread Description
be gay do crimes

Salt&PepperBunny

Author of Finding Your Roots and Little Lapses
Badges
Pronouns
She/Her
Dex Entry Rabbits are so human. Or perhaps, humans are so rabbit?
Pronouns
She/Her
Pokédex No.
47
Caught
Jun 15, 2019
Messages
2,259
Location
Tag-A-Long Woods
Nature
Quirky
I got rid of my tumblr account for the longest time because, yeah, it's a hellsite. I actually only made a new account recently because I wanted to make an askblog, but of COURSE tumblr is so garbage that none of my posts ever showed up in searches. So I said "fuck it," abandoned the site again, and just moved my ask blog to deviantart. Dumb, dumb site!!! But I'm getting off topic now for the LGBT thread, haha, sorry. ;;^^
 

Elfin Song

Conqueror of the Olivine Gym
Pronouns
she/her or he/him
Dex Entry Entry unknown.
Pronouns
she/her or he/him
Pokédex No.
146
Caught
Jun 26, 2019
Messages
363
Nature
Bold
Can I just second that tumblr is the absolute bottom of the barrel when it comes to lgbt community. Tumblr is just, GOD absolutely dogshit for LGBT people. The only way you get away with being lgbt on tumblr is if youre a white gay man or lesbian, if youre literally anything else, people are gonna come start trying to police your identity, and even if you are just a simple white gay man/lesbian, being there dealing with that environment is still awful.

Sorry for jumping in and interrupting all of a sudden, I just saw people talking about it and wanted to vent
I was going to say you also have to be trans to be taken seriously on Tumblr, but then I remembered that terfs are an actual thing on that hellsite and that, actually, you're correct. But really, no matter your gender, you probably won't win on Tumblr. Terfs hate the trans kids. Tumblr's trans kids hate cis people. People from both sides seem to hate enbies, despite the fact that enbies are trans. And at the end of the day, everyone gets anon death threats. It's great.

That said, Tumblr's always struck me as weird, even when I was more heavily steeped in it. (Side point: Except for an ask blog I still run on that hellsite, I've fled to Twitter and the great outdoors, and let me tell you, it's like a breath of fresh air compared to existing on Tumblr.) Like ... on the one hand, it's a social media site, so you'll have people doing whatever they can for attention and follower counts, including either parroting the vitriol of whatever communities they identify with. On the other, it's also a blogging platform, so it's understandable why people would spew things like "ugh, the cis/straights are at it again": because they, personally, are hella tired of the way they're treated offline and feel like their blog is a personal, private space on which they can vent (even if it really isn't). So in other words, the kids who spew poisonous stuff like that don't necessarily actually believe that; they just don't get a chance to express that elsewhere.

However. Despite being queer af (although according to Tumblr, my romantic identity is a cry for attention while my sexual identity is just a preference and not a true sexuality), I actually think the way Tumblr goes about discussing gender and orientation is just as harmful as the heteronormative shenanigans you find offline or on Facebook. As in, put it this way: for a lot of kids, Tumblr is either their first or foremost (or both) exposure to the LGBT community, and these experiences come right as they're in their formative years. But the problem is that quite a few popular Tumblr posts focus on how ridiculous straight/cis/[insert identity here] people are (and that's just the polite stuff on there—let's not even get into the flamewars, anon hate, constant bullying, idolization of various identities, etc), so kids end up being led to believe they're not going to be considered valid by people they respect if they don't identify in a very specific way. So, naturally, this affects what they look for in themselves or how they value themselves when they realize that one of their identities doesn't match what Tumblr values the most. (Maaaan, I still remember that one time a fourteen-year-old felt she had to put an apology in her bio because she was white. Not LGBT, but that should give you an idea of what Tumblr is like on the daily when a child has to apologize for her skin color.)

Or even more tl;dr, I do think it's important for kids to be exposed to LGBT concepts so that they can begin the whole process of questioning themselves and thus maybe come to a better understanding of who they are and what will make them happy. I just think that Tumblr is not doing that and is, in the cases of quite a few popular bloggers, doing things that are just as bad as what straight people have been doing for ages. That and Tumblr almost implies that your entire self must be what you identify as by overemphasizing the value of these labels, as Feymark pointed out.

Or Tumblr is a hellsite, basically what Feymark said, and I am not surprised but extremely sorry that that dumpster fire of a website left you uncertain, Picket.

/ranty mcranterson because seriously tumblr is the worst
 

mondograss

Bard of Life
Badges
Pronouns
Unspecified
Dex Entry This Pokemon is infamously irritable, but it comes down from its rage quickly. It is quite loyal to kind, patient Trainers.
Pronouns
Unspecified
Pokédex No.
680
Caught
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
531
Nature
Naive
Damn, middle school me got mad at Google+. Imagine that little hellion on Tumblr...

Well, as somebody who has never really considered himself part of the LGBT+ community, are there any websites that have a particularly strong, non-toxic LGBT+ community?
 

Salt&PepperBunny

Author of Finding Your Roots and Little Lapses
Badges
Pronouns
She/Her
Dex Entry Rabbits are so human. Or perhaps, humans are so rabbit?
Pronouns
She/Her
Pokédex No.
47
Caught
Jun 15, 2019
Messages
2,259
Location
Tag-A-Long Woods
Nature
Quirky
Honestly in my opinion, the best thing to do is just find yourself a circle of good, well-opinionated, non-batshit-crazy LGBT folks and just enjoy being in that space. I personally don't know of any websites that are 100% clear. There are probably some LGBT forums out there that are good spaces? The nuzforums lgbt circles are decent.. to an extent. But just finding a good friend group of LGBT folks is still my number one recommendation!
 

Picket Furret

Antisocial Lurker
Badges
Pronouns
He
Dex Entry Entry unknown.
Pronouns
He
Pokédex No.
544
Caught
Jul 19, 2019
Messages
476
Nature
Adamant
Making a Discord group also helps with keeping in touch with them
 

Chess

birds can't hurt me these shades are gucci
Badges
Pronouns
She/Her/They/Them
Dex Entry can be bribed with shiny objects and spices to do household repairs. utterly incapable of many things, but does them anyway
Pronouns
She/Her/They/Them
Pokédex No.
5
Caught
May 13, 2019
Messages
924
Location
in forest floor detritus
Nature
Docile
See, you'd think tumblr would be the worst, but twitter recently moved from 2014 Ace Discourse to 2014 NB discourse to 2014 Bi Discourse within the span of 6 months, not to mention the terfs are all verified
 
Last edited:

Elfin Song

Conqueror of the Olivine Gym
Pronouns
she/her or he/him
Dex Entry Entry unknown.
Pronouns
she/her or he/him
Pokédex No.
146
Caught
Jun 26, 2019
Messages
363
Nature
Bold
See, you'd think tumblr would be the worst, but twitter recently moved from 2014 Ace Discourse to 2014 NB discourse to 2014 Bi Discourse within the span of 6 months, not to mention the terfs are all verified
That's fair. Especially now that the porn ban drove most of Tumblr onto Twitter. :|

Social media in general is an awful, awful place to be if you're LGBT+, in other words. Pretty much Mouse was right: the best way to survive is to heavily curate your experience and find people who aren't outright terrible. Which I know sounds impossible with the above, but honestly, my advice is probably to see if you like them when you're not both talking about identities and just sorta work from there.
 

Salt&PepperBunny

Author of Finding Your Roots and Little Lapses
Badges
Pronouns
She/Her
Dex Entry Rabbits are so human. Or perhaps, humans are so rabbit?
Pronouns
She/Her
Pokédex No.
47
Caught
Jun 15, 2019
Messages
2,259
Location
Tag-A-Long Woods
Nature
Quirky
Hey, you say it seems impossible, but Ive managed to do it multiple times without even trying! There are sane LGBT people out there, I promise.
 

Chess

birds can't hurt me these shades are gucci
Badges
Pronouns
She/Her/They/Them
Dex Entry can be bribed with shiny objects and spices to do household repairs. utterly incapable of many things, but does them anyway
Pronouns
She/Her/They/Them
Pokédex No.
5
Caught
May 13, 2019
Messages
924
Location
in forest floor detritus
Nature
Docile
Honestly, curation is something you should be doing no matter what. Twitter gives you a lot of tools to mitigate the awful stuff if you know how to use them, but its core design and moderation are hostile even at the best of times and you'll probably get involved no matter what. Tumblr is a shithole that doesn't give you anything to work with, but now that the discoursey types have all jumped ship to twitter it's pretty easy to stay out of the fights

or at least whenever I'm on twitter it feels like I'm never more than two degrees removed from an awful person or take. I've never had that problem with Tumblr in all the years I've been using it. You have more control over your experience than you'd think, and you definitely don't need to keep following people who throw bad takes and bad people at you constantly

(this is just a reminder to please curate your feeds heavily for your own health)
 
Last edited:

Dozing

professional dumbass
Badges
Pronouns
she/her
Dex Entry Entry unknown.
Pronouns
she/her
Pokédex No.
1376
Caught
Jan 23, 2020
Messages
102
Nature
Gentle
getting accidentally misgendered is the worst, cuz at least if they do it on purpose you know they're an asshole, and you don't have to care about them. if it's accidental, it makes you question if you should just give up :c
 

NightinGem

the game theory asexual
Badges
Pronouns
they/them and he/him
Dex Entry Thinks a bit too much, but loves their friends. Owns an impressive amount of guillotine-themed clothing.
Pronouns
they/them and he/him
Pokédex No.
56
Caught
Jun 15, 2019
Messages
116
Location
the sister ship to the titanic
Nature
Hasty
it's been a while since i've been active on the forums, and i've never really been properly active on the new forums. let's change that!

hi! i'm pat gem and i am an aspec genderfluid nonbinary lesbian who uses they/them pronouns and is on t! i've gone through a whole lot of identity turmoil and who knows if my identity will shift again, but i feel a lot more comfortable than i ever have.

i realized a lot of my "crushes" on boys were mostly just me feeling like i needed to choose a guy to be attracted to, in comparison to the girls and nonmasc nonbinary people i liked and dated which was so natural and fluid and just, felt right, y'know? and like, when i was attracted to men, when the possibility that i could date them at all happened the attraction just immediately ceased. i tried dating guys and it just felt like a performance, like, well, they like me so i guess i should try! even though suddenly i don't want to anymore! and i'm probably gray-ace in regards to sexual attraction, sometimes leaning demi, especially after t's initial hormonal stuff has calmed down.

i also tried really hard to be a trans guy, and then transmasculine nonbinary. but it just...didn't feel quite right? i knew i didn't want to be a girl, and i wanted to be on t, so i felt like huh. i'm a guy, right? and i also wanted my gender to be taken seriously.

now i don't give a fuck anymore. i'm a nonbinary lesbian with a complicated relationship to gender! i'm on t but that doesn't make me less of a lesbian! my ideal gender presentation is extremely genderfuck and people usually can't tell what my gender is when they pass me on the street, just that i'm probably some kind of gay, and honestly? hell yeah. (though it can get scary, and sometimes i try to just pass as male for safety reasons. and it sucks ass).
 

Bramble

Conqueror of the Fuchsia Gym
Badges
Pronouns
Unspecified
Dex Entry Entry unknown.
Pronouns
Unspecified
Pokédex No.
824
Caught
Sep 20, 2019
Messages
52
Nature
Quirky
I second the recent opining over the shittiness of tumblr. But also just wanna say hiya, I'm bi (identified as gay for a time for a few reasons, but recently I'm satisfied that bisexual is a more accurate description. It's a weird situation, but life is funny, ain't it? :p)
 

Salt&PepperBunny

Author of Finding Your Roots and Little Lapses
Badges
Pronouns
She/Her
Dex Entry Rabbits are so human. Or perhaps, humans are so rabbit?
Pronouns
She/Her
Pokédex No.
47
Caught
Jun 15, 2019
Messages
2,259
Location
Tag-A-Long Woods
Nature
Quirky
I'm the opposite. I was bisexual for about 6 years of my life, my entire adolescence, and then about a year and a half ago I had an experience that made me rethink if I actually even have a taste for men. So I dropped the label and spent a year and a half switching between gay and lesbian and queer and whatnot, until a couple weeks ago when I had another experience that made me think maybe I actually DO like men. The world of microlabels is a frustrating one. >w<
 

pinkshellos

a suspiciously buggish sea slug
Badges
Pronouns
they/them
Dex Entry A timid Pokémon typically found in groups. The only thing that motivates them more than companionship is food.
Pronouns
they/them
Pokédex No.
1220
Caught
Dec 23, 2019
Messages
796
Location
Hoenn Route 120
Nature
Quirky
Oh man, mood. I identified as pan for the longest time til I began thinking it was too “niche” or “weird” and started saying bi instead. However I lean heavily towards women and honestly in a lot of situations it’s easier for me just to say gay/lesbian. And I ALSO might be somewhere on the ace spectrum. I’ll figure myself out someday ʅ(◞‿◟)ʃ

Edit: Also, it was a pleasant surprise seeing this thread and just reinforces the welcoming and kind feeling this community’s got.
 

"Absolutely Certain"

truly, indubitably (MD)
Pronouns
no pronouns
Dex Entry In a state of constant motion, even when dormant. Consequentially, this Pokemon is always tired.
Pronouns
no pronouns
Pokédex No.
383
Caught
Jul 5, 2019
Messages
93
Location
Without a Shadow of a Doubt
Nature
Quirky
helo helo i am unbelievably transgender. i always knew there was a big lgbt+ community on here but i never considered we have like, a discord. that's neat

i'm asexual + aromantic + agender, which is super fun because one of my friends calls me a triple a battery. i'm unstoppable. my identity might change since i'm still young and i don't know everything about me yet, but i'm excited to learn, if a lil scared lol

right now though i just want to find a way to tell people that i just don't want pronouns anymore. even when i was first figuring out my identity, i always liked the idea of not having to use pronouns and have always wanted that to happen. but like. how do you tell people to consciously watch their grammatical choices just to refer to me. it's hell and it sucks because like. my identity is my identity, but there's always the issue of people finding it inconvenient enough to not bother.

then again there are transphobes struggling with the concept of singular they so that's a bit of a non-argument, but the worry is still there, and most folks i know who've tried my no-pronoun thing have struggled with it despite actively trying their best. :( feels bad man
 

mondograss

Bard of Life
Badges
Pronouns
Unspecified
Dex Entry This Pokemon is infamously irritable, but it comes down from its rage quickly. It is quite loyal to kind, patient Trainers.
Pronouns
Unspecified
Pokédex No.
680
Caught
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
531
Nature
Naive
i always knew there was a big lgbt+ community on here but i never considered we have like, a discord.
We have an LGBT Discord?
 

mizar

young, dumb, and full of you know ;)
Badges
Pronouns
they/them
Dex Entry Entry unknown.
Pronouns
they/them
Pokédex No.
76
Caught
Jun 16, 2019
Messages
318
Location
lost
Nature
Quiet
in this weird place where i'd always ID'd as a butch lesbian but I'm realizing I might be bi? in which case I think I'll still use the butch label but it's still very strange because I never even considered that I'd be in a "straight" relationship. idk. lifes crazy
 

Users who are viewing this thread

Top