Hi friends! I'm Kieran; still figuring myself out, but I'm at a point where I'm 95% sure I'm a (gay) trans guy (the remaining 5% is made of 1% anxiety-induced doubt and 4% self-defense mechanism). Hoping to be able to get myself back into therapy to finish sorting things out identity-wise, and then look into transition things... but first I really need to get myself a job. Which things are looking good in that regard for the end of the summer, so hey, that would be nice!
Luckily, I have a fairly supportive immediate family--to a point where just the other day, I came home from my coding class and was talking to my sister, who commented that she's actually having trouble seeing me as female now, which is like, a huge thing after back around new years she was saying she wasn't sure she'd ever be able to adjust to thinking of me as not her sister (she'd been saying she might be able to adjust to the gender neutral "sibling," but not quite to "brother").
I'm kind of hoping that should this potential job thing pan out, I actually do move away from home. If I move, I'll be forced to find a new set of doctors and such, and if I'm dealing with all new people, I think I'll feel a bit less... awkward about this whole thing. Like, I've mentioned to my GP that I'm questioning my gender identity, and she was super supportive (even if she very much does not know much about it--but she knows another doctor who does, and she is very good about admitting what she doesn't know and trying to do research), but... Well, I was going to dinner with my immediate family a couple nights ago, talking to my sisters and brother-in-law about various doctors and such, and realized that I cannot imagine the topic coming up with my dentist. That office is like the most judgmental place and I remember when my sister was getting married and somewhere in that whole process I mentioned that I'm not really into jewelry and they seemed totally offended by the notion that a girl (as far as they're aware) could be not interested in jewelry so it's just like. Oh god they won't be able to handle the notion of "but that girl is not a girl at all!"
...Also, haircuts. A new place would mean I'm forced to find a new place to get my hair cut, and... well, haircuts have always been the bane of my existence because I never knew what I wanted (looking back, hi dysphoria, probably!), so maybe not going to the same woman I've gone to since I was a smol child would help. Maybe.
