The Immoral Bard
Dex Entry Tired, beleagured amateur author with an unhealthy addiction to Isekai. He's kinda funny, though!
LMAO I'm glad I'm not the only one! Sandy Shocks, Sandy Cheeks...easy mistake to make, right?When I heard 'flutter mane' i thought of like my little pony, but like. generation one my little pony. And when I heard 'sandy shocks' I thought of the squirrel from spongebob.
Perhaps not my finest moment, but the very first thought I had upon learning the name of Hariyama's Paradox form was "Somebody's about to catch these iron hands."It's so sad! The scarlet people get 'scream tail' 'brute bonnet' 'great tusks'. and i, a violet person, get 'iron bundle.' 'iron jugulis'. 'iron hands'.
Side note: Iron Bundle is really creepy.
I was going to say that I knew what the quartet was, but then I readI do plan on utilizing a certain group of Pokemon from Gen 9 in Through A Glass Darkly, which I will not name because they're spoilers for the story as well as spoilers for Gen 9 itself.
And now I’m not so sure.But I needed to choose a species to fill a certain NPC role and I chose one of my favorites in the entire Gen 9 dex, and one thing led to another and now I have four new characters to develop personalities and motivations for. This ought to be fun!
1. Do NOT Release Gen 9 in 2022
I think most of us were already thinking this, but SwSh should not have shipped as a $60 game in the condition it was released in. I'll be frank, I was happy enough with SwSh despite its glaring flaws, but I'd rather wait an extra year or two for Game Freak to make an excellent $60 Pokemon game than pay the same amount of money for a subpar one.
2. Make Legends Arceus Decent
I'm going to be realistic here: no one bats a thousand on the first hit, especially Game Freak. In my experience with their game series, their first outing on any given console invariably misses the mark in some way or another. Diamond and Pearl? Broken Pokedex construction, managed to make saving the universe feel boring. X and Y? Too many paper-thin characters; felt like a very beautiful tech demo. Let's Go Pikachu and Eevee? I'll admit I'm biased in favor of how saccharinely adorable this game is, but the extremely limited Pokemon roster was a step in the wrong direction, the Fairy type seemed next to useless in a game with no Dark types, only one Dragon type line, and Poison types left and right, and while the addition of Alolan forms was a nice touch (and explained/somewhat justified only Kantonian Pokemon getting Alolan forms), would it have killed them to add a few trainer battles with Alolan forms so that the Fairy type would have at least some Dark types to pwn?
Since Legends Arceus is Game Freak's first time setting out in unfamiliar territory (much like the game's protagonist, when I really think about it), what I want most of all is for the game to be decent. I don't expect it to be great. I don't expect it to be mind-blowing. I certainly don't expect it to live up to everything that Pokemon fans ever wanted in a Pokemon game. I just want it to be enjoyable for what it is. Even if I feel like the game should not have sold for a full $60, I just want it to be good enough that Game Freak doesn't see the Legends formula as a lost cause and never release any more in the series.
Put succinctly, the thing I want most from Legends Arceus is for it to set the stage for future Legends games that will improve on Arceus's formula and, eventually, become the Pokemon game that people wanted Legends Arceus to be.
Also, I want the story to be awesome and full of lore and to trigger PokeTubers to make a ton of conspiracy theory videos about.
3. Make Legends Arceus DLC That Expands and Improves the Game
If I'm perfectly honest, one of my favorite parts of Pokemon Sword was its DLC. (Even if it did cost 30 bucks extra and now if I want to get Pokemon Shield I'll have to pay 90 bucks for the full thing.) It might not be very flattering to the main game to say that its DLC is better than it, but given that my expectations of Legends Arceus is that they will be flawed in some way because that's the pattern Game Freak has traditionally given us, I don't think it's out of line for me to want DLC that's better than what I expect the main game to be.
4. Take Us Back to Johto (with an Exp. Share we can turn on and off)
I'm not particularly picky on this one. If I don't want Gen 9 in 2022, then the logical answer is remakes, and while some people are sick and tired of Kanto by now (for very good reason, I might add), Johto is not Kanto. Kanto is Johto's postgame, so before you go to Kanto, you have to go to Johto, and I want to go to Johto with a game that isn't so grindy that nuzlockers are titling their Johto runs things like Paper Bowser and the Thousand-Year Grind.
I'm not particularly picky on how we go back to Johto -- whether in a Let's Go sequel or a faithful remake or what -- but I will add this caveat. If we get an ILCA remake of the Johto games, do not release it in 2022. This is similar to my not wanting Gen 9 to release in 2022, because I firmly believe that games should be given the time they need in the oven and that the people that make the games should not be forced to sacrifice time, energy, and both physical and emotional health to crunch on a game that will be all the worse for being crunched on.
Also, if we're going to do Johto remakes with Gen 8 mechanics, give Whitney a Jigglypuff instead of a Clefairy so at least it will still be Normal-type.
5. Give Us A New Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Game Already
I know a number of you guys want Explorers remade (and honestly, I want that too), but as someone who appreciates the Mystery Dungeon games' emphasis on story, I kiiiiiinda want a new story set in the PMD world. (Which is probably why I'm writing an entire series of nuzlockes set in a PMD-style world, but that's something else entirely.) Besides, I want to see how the Mystery Dungeon universe handles things like Ultra Beasts, Z-crystals, and ridiculous power creep (hi Zacian, please put that oversized butter knife away before somemon gets hurt).
6. Remake The One Game That Nobody Saw Coming
Imagine a Pokemon Presents in February. It starts out with the usual announcements of smaller projects like Pokemon Sleep, Detective Pikachu for Switch, Pokemon Unite microtransactions that cost $40 for no discernible reason. Maybe even announcements for upcoming Legends Arceus DLC.
Then the screen goes black.
And opens up over a vast desert canyon.
A Skarmory flies over the canyon.
The sound of a motorcycle is heard.
And in rides the bad boy himself, his Espeon and Umbreon sitting next to him in his motorcycle sidecar...
A title flashes onto the screen.
Pokemon Colosseum EX.
A high-definition Orre remake for the Nintendo Switch, developed by Genius Sonority, and making tons and tons of us grown adults squee like little babies.
I have all sorts of ideas as to how to not just remake Colo, but bring XD and a brand-new Orre game to the Nintendo Switch, but given how many ideas I have (despite having only ever played some of Colo), that probably deserves its own article. I will however say that to commemorate the game's release, a Mystery Gift Celebi would be distributed in both SwSh and BDSP. This Celebi knows the move Poison Powder, which is a move that Celebi only has as Dark Celebi in the Pokemon TCG, adding layers to the distribution (onions have layers, right Shrek?)
Also, I have no idea what EX stands for.
The game does have DLC that introduced more new Pokemon after the base game -- largely new forms of canon Pokemon such as new Mega Evolutions. But this particular Pokemon was present in the base game that came out before Scurvy.Does this game have DLC which introduced more new Pokemon after the base game, or was the entire Pokedex present from the get-go? I ask because my best Google searching reveals that Xenoverse came out in English translation on Feb 10, 2021, which is over a year and a half before Scarlet and Violet were released. As someone who's been creating fakemon for...sheesh, about a decade now...I understand very well the pain of these coincidences when Game Freak comes up with something that looks exactly like one of your own ideas.
What amazes me about Xenoverse is how high its production values are for a non-profit fan game. I mean, it has an animated intro, for Pete's sake! It's just... some of the design decisions are very odd and I'm not sure how I feel about that.Xenoverse is...admittedly hit-or-miss. But Shulong is absolutely adorable, and arguably one of my favorite Fakemon out there.