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Don't Get Me Started: a Pokemon blog

Extravanganza Accordian Demo
Thread Description
In which I talk way too much about my favorite topic

ActiveTransport

Fiery Torch
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
3654
Caught
Feb 5, 2021
Messages
409
Location
A Land of Exquisite Sunsets
Nature
Hardy
Pronouns
He/Him
Pokémon Type
  1. Fire
  2. Psychic
Pokédex Entry
Hobbies: running, reading, singing, playing Pokémon (especially competitive battling), and practicing my Catholic faith!
Oh hey, I didn't know you're into Pokemon Showdown. I spend quite a bit of time there myself, so I'll have to check out this randomized meta. I've been playing a whole lot of Random Battle Mayhem, which is randbats with a bunch of crazy clauses added. Shared Power is one clause, but it also has inverse type matchups and some more goodies too.
 
OP
Trollkitten

Trollkitten

Kitten of Lore
Artist
Writer
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
208
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
3,323
Location
Gatto Region
Nature
Quirky
Pronouns
She/her, Aetherai Lorekeeper
Pokémon Type
  1. Fairy
  2. Clever
Pokédex Entry
Autistic writer who starts more things than she finishes. Loves music, worldbuilding, anthropomorphism, horrible puns, and Masquerain.
Oh hey, I didn't know you're into Pokemon Showdown. I spend quite a bit of time there myself, so I'll have to check out this randomized meta. I've been playing a whole lot of Random Battle Mayhem, which is randbats with a bunch of crazy clauses added. Shared Power is one clause, but it also has inverse type matchups and some more goodies too.
Showdown is pretty fun! I will say that Simple appears to not be working in the Shared Power meta for whatever reason; hopefully that's been corrected by now.

It's weird story time.

So usually at night I watch YouTube on my Kindle before I go to sleep. Last night I was watching a Kingdom Hearts II let's play, and I hit the point where usually I'd turn it off and go to bed, but I felt this sense like God was saying "One more episode."

Which I thought was weird because that doesn't sound like something God would say, it sounded like something my brain would say. But since it was Daylight Savings Time anyway and I had an extra hour, I watched it anyway.

After that I went upstairs to use the bathroom, and it's a good thing I was up at that point, because my mom had accidentally brushed against the stove controls and caused a gas leak that only I could smell. If I hadn't been awake at that point, it might have spread to the entire house while everyone was asleep and we could've been dead.

Having such a sensitive nose is a blessing and a curse but if it means I get to live longer I'll accept it.
 
OP
Trollkitten

Trollkitten

Kitten of Lore
Artist
Writer
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
208
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
3,323
Location
Gatto Region
Nature
Quirky
Pronouns
She/her, Aetherai Lorekeeper
Pokémon Type
  1. Fairy
  2. Clever
Pokédex Entry
Autistic writer who starts more things than she finishes. Loves music, worldbuilding, anthropomorphism, horrible puns, and Masquerain.
Spoiler warning: contains discussion of Gen 9, including some leaks. Also includes some discussion on my upcoming Pokemon Tantalum reboot.

So a new Scurvy trailer dropped, and with it come two new Pokemon that the website refers to as "Great Tusk" and "Iron Treads." While I have not seen any full Pokedex leaks and have no intention to, I strongly suspect that these are not what the Pokemon species will actually be named, similarly to how Nihilego was initially introduced as UB-Symbiont prior to SuMo's release.

The Donphan in the room is, well, that both these Pokemon look like Donphan. And I'm not about to question that. Those who haven't seen the leaks are arguing over whether these are truly 'paradox forms' or not, while those who have seen the leaks know the answer. (Spoiler: they are.) But meanwhile, I've made an agreement to resume work on Pokemon Tantalum after I've had a chance to play the new games, and while I haven't had that chance yet, the reveal of Great Tusk and Iron Treads has left me rethinking the designs of my own 'paradox forms' and how I want to go about that.

Disclaimer: I'm not going to start redesigning anything until I get more of a feel for this new direction Pokemon is going in. I'm also probably not going to start drawing the Paradox Mimikyu ideas I posted earlier until I have more of an idea of Scurvy's new art style. But I will say that it's abundantly clear that, given what we've seen of the Paldea Pokedex, Game Freak is stepping into uncharted territory, pushing the boundaries of what defines a Pokemon design. I mean, seriously, just look at the handful of Pokemon they've revealed so far and tell me how many of them look like what we're used to a Pokemon looking like. Most if not all of them have this sense of newness to them, like Game Freak is pushing the envelope of traditional Pokemon design tropes -- and if the leaks are correct on how many new Pokemon will be introduced this generation, then we've got a great deal more oohing and ahhing to do.

But there's something else I must address in regards to Pokemon Tantalum: the Scarlet Book and Violet Book.

As some of you might remember, the final update to the original Pokemon Tantalum concept had the player character receiving a magical book called the Tome of Time from Hoopa to aid in the time travel mechanic. This was based on the White Chronicle from the DS RPG Radiant Historia, which centered around a time-travel mechanic in which the main character was crossing different timelines in an attempt to find the one timeline that would not end in the tragic destruction of everything. However, the introduction of the Scarlet Book and Violet Book, which are associated with recording mysterious Pokemon that may or may not be past and future forms of Pokemon, I'm wondering what to do with the Tome of Time. Should I discard it and find some other MacGuffin for the player to use to time travel, or should I play into the Scarlet/Violet Book theme and have the Tome of Time serve as an expanded Pokedex of various Paradox Pokemon encountered? I'm heavily leaning towards the latter, but it's anyone's guess what I'll choose in the end.

(Also, the website states that Great Tusk actually killed a person; that's pretty metal.)
 
OP
Trollkitten

Trollkitten

Kitten of Lore
Artist
Writer
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
208
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
3,323
Location
Gatto Region
Nature
Quirky
Pronouns
She/her, Aetherai Lorekeeper
Pokémon Type
  1. Fairy
  2. Clever
Pokédex Entry
Autistic writer who starts more things than she finishes. Loves music, worldbuilding, anthropomorphism, horrible puns, and Masquerain.
So, brief life update. My mom fractured her ankle and is going to need help recovering/keeping the house running while she's unable to walk, so I'm gonna be spending a lot of time doing things around the house and (probably) less time working on projects for the next three months or so. Just FYI.

This Pokemon Mystery Dungeon Hack is MIND BLOWING



Are you a fan of puzzle games? Because this hack has taken the Pokemon Mystery Dungeon engine and turned it into a puzzle game. While the game itself appears to have been taken down for reasons, at least we have this video to show us that it can be done and it is EPIC. Hopefully more romhackers will take up the torch and create more puzzle-esque PMD hacks, or at least incorporate puzzle elements into the more traditional dungeon crawlers.

---

Giving Pokemon ARMOR Evolutions!



As someone who's struggled with trying to come up with 'augmented Pokemon' designs for the upcoming game concept Pokemon Tantalum (it's coming when it's coming), this video's idea of giving Kanto Pokemon Digimon-style armor evolutions is awesome. Even if they did give Charmander two evolutions and haven't even done Pikachu yet. (Jokes aside, the Charmander evolutions are pretty cool, even if haters gonna hate.)

---

SCP -- PARASITE



For Spoop Month, Bird Keeper Toby has been doing a series of Ultra Beasts imagined as SCPs. I don't get into horror all that much because I am a hyperemotional disaster child (and easily squicked), but I do enjoy some good old-fashioned horror elements from time to time, and this definitely fits the bill. I fear for Lusamine's recovery...

---

Every Route 1 Rodent's DARK Forms & Evolutions!



I didn't know I needed this until now. I think my favorite is the Bunnelby line based on miners.

---

Pokemon Sword and Shield Rewrite Anime



As someone who was so thoroughly disappointed with what she saw of Pokemon Journeys that she just stopped watching it, this is a breath of fresh air. The dedication shows in every detail -- from James' capture of a prickly Pincurchin that keeps damaging him to the appearance of that Onix in the Wild Area (you all know what I'm talking about). I'm eagerly anticipating more in this series from Lumiose Trainer Zac.
 
OP
Trollkitten

Trollkitten

Kitten of Lore
Artist
Writer
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
208
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
3,323
Location
Gatto Region
Nature
Quirky
Pronouns
She/her, Aetherai Lorekeeper
Pokémon Type
  1. Fairy
  2. Clever
Pokédex Entry
Autistic writer who starts more things than she finishes. Loves music, worldbuilding, anthropomorphism, horrible puns, and Masquerain.
WARNING: Mandatory Gen 9 spoiler warning

So those of you who actually read my blog have probably noticed that I didn't post an article last weekend, when Scarlet and Violet came out. There is a simple explanation for this: Scarlet and Violet came out. I've been spending a great deal of my free time playing Pokemon Violet, and the question is: is this next installment worth the wait?

Well... honestly, I wish the wait had been longer.

I don't need to tell you anything that you haven't already heard before. When Scurvy was first announced, people were asking if this was too soon to put out the next Pokemon generation. And I can tell you emphatically that it absolutely was. The game itself is a good game -- running around exploring an open world full of Pokemon is magnificent -- but the graphical issues and jank, while not a deal-breaker on my part, have definitely soured the experience for a lot of people, many of which want refunds. No sixty-buck video game should be released in such an unfinished state, especially not one from the largest multimedia franchise in the freaking galaxy.

The new Pokemon I've seen thus far are a mixed bag in quality. It's clear that Game Freak chose this generation to really push the envelope in what a Pokemon design is or isn't, and while that's great news for us fakemon creators, the end result is that not all of these mons really do it for me. Fuecoco's evolutions in particular prove that, yes, you can have way too much fun designing a Pokemon. I really like Sprigatito's middle evolution, though, even if it does do that one thing that a vocal portion of the fanbase has been begging it not to do.

If there's one small but massive change I'm thankful for, it's that the bag now automatically sorts items for you, which is something I didn't even realize I needed until now and it's baffling that it took nine generations before Game Freak even thought of that. I just wish the same level of organization went into the TM making machine -- the TMs are sorted in what appears to be an entirely arbitrary order, and worst of all, TM ingredients won't even show up until you've registered a Pokemon that drops them as 'seen' in your Pokedex. That takes out an awful lot of the anticipated fun of hunting down ingredients and crafting your own TMs. This may be the first non-nuzlocke Pokemon game in which I have to take notes.

Speaking of nuzlockes, if any of you want to nuzlocke this game blind: Don't. Seriously. You will die. Your Pokemon will die. Quite a few of the bosses are genuinely hard (looking at some of the Titans and the Starmobile fights), and it's all too easy to stumble into an area with massively overleveled Pokemon that you are nowhere near ready to fight yet. So... thou shalt not nuzlocke Scurvy blind.

Happy Thanksgiving to all of my Murican friends!
 

Moon

Johto League Champion
Writer
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
3995
Caught
Mar 9, 2021
Messages
1,077
Nature
Sassy
Pronouns
She/Her
Pokémon Type
  1. Ghost
  2. Ice
Pokédex Entry
Because she’s the two rarest types, she’s the rarest pokemon. Yes, that's logical. No, there aren't other Ghost/Ice types. Froslass doesn't exist.
Yeah, I don't really mind that much about the preformance but you know the game needed a bit more time in the oven if anything more than twenty feet away from you starts moving at five frames per second.
 

ActiveTransport

Fiery Torch
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
3654
Caught
Feb 5, 2021
Messages
409
Location
A Land of Exquisite Sunsets
Nature
Hardy
Pronouns
He/Him
Pokémon Type
  1. Fire
  2. Psychic
Pokédex Entry
Hobbies: running, reading, singing, playing Pokémon (especially competitive battling), and practicing my Catholic faith!
Yeah, that about lines up with what I've heard so far too. The game is fine but the gameplay sucks. I suppose it's too much to ask that Game Freak will learn their lesson, though. This is what people mean when they say that Pokemon is too big to fail. I hope you're enjoying it, though! I haven't watched any gameplay yet but I get the impression that it's entertaining enough.
 

Memento

The Princess of Darkness
Writer
Screenshotter
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
202
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
869
Location
St. Louis, Missouri
Nature
Timid
Pronouns
She, her
Pokémon Type
  1. Fairy
  2. Ghost
Pokédex Entry
She is known to spend hours daydreaming about her stories.
Happy Thanksgiving from this 'Murican! I'd give you a GIF suiting my sentiments, but sadly, I don't know how. Oh well.
 
OP
Trollkitten

Trollkitten

Kitten of Lore
Artist
Writer
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
208
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
3,323
Location
Gatto Region
Nature
Quirky
Pronouns
She/her, Aetherai Lorekeeper
Pokémon Type
  1. Fairy
  2. Clever
Pokédex Entry
Autistic writer who starts more things than she finishes. Loves music, worldbuilding, anthropomorphism, horrible puns, and Masquerain.
Happy Thanksgiving from this 'Murican! I'd give you a GIF suiting my sentiments, but sadly, I don't know how. Oh well.
There's an 'insert image' button on the toolbar above posting, right between the 'insert link' button and the 'media' button. It's the group on the far right.
 
OP
Trollkitten

Trollkitten

Kitten of Lore
Artist
Writer
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
208
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
3,323
Location
Gatto Region
Nature
Quirky
Pronouns
She/her, Aetherai Lorekeeper
Pokémon Type
  1. Fairy
  2. Clever
Pokédex Entry
Autistic writer who starts more things than she finishes. Loves music, worldbuilding, anthropomorphism, horrible puns, and Masquerain.
And now, the moment you've all been waiting for... The first Annual Trollkitten Thanksgiving Roast. Be forewarned that this article contains Gen 9 spoilers, sass, and snark.

Today we shall begin a momentous occasion that, at the rate Game Freak is going, is very likely to become a yearly occurrence: the Trollkitten Thanksgiving Roast. Namely, I pick some aspect of the recently released Pokemon game (because there's always a recently released Pokemon game this time of year) and roast it mercilessly. I don't usually enjoy doing this sort of thing -- I've stated that I'd rather be a happy shill than an angry critic -- but this time around I think the Paldea Pokedex deserves it.

But first, an explanation. I do not hate Scurvy by any means. Despite its massive flaws (and I mean massive), it is one of the most fun new Pokemon experiences I've had in a long while. However, I have as much a right to my opinion as anybody here, and while probably the most roastable aspect of Scurvy would be the fact that sometimes it runs like the River Ankh, that wouldn't be a very long or entertaining article, so instead I've drawn my attention to the portion of the game most inconsistent in quality: the Pokemon designs.

I used to wish that Game Freak would give us more new Pokemon each generation than they've been doing as of gens 6-8, but upon viewing the Gen 9 Pokedex (and living to tell about it), I realized that it's better to have quality over quantity, and that sometimes less is more. I'd rather have a handful of really great and well-polished Pokemon designs than an entire dex packed full of a great number of Pokemon that I could live without. If Game Freak keeps up this level of 'quality,' I may have to apologize to Hypno for thinking it was Pokemon's worst possible design ever. (That probably belongs more to Jynx, but for reasons that people living in Japan without prior knowledge of the evil side of America's cultural history could not have possibly anticipated. I will at least concur that Jynx looks less ugly in purple than black, but that's not saying much.)

So okay then.

Where shall I begin? I suppose I should start with the starters, which are unquestionable objective proof that it is entirely possible to have too much fun with a Pokemon design. Now, I don't mind Floragato standing up on two legs -- it's actually one of my favorite designs of Scurvy -- but when its final evolution wears such a ridiculous mask, you have to wonder if it only signed up for Pokemon duty because its headlining gig of a Sonic x Persona crossover got canned. And Crocalor... let's be frank, it looks like something you'd find for sale in a souvenir store. And what it evolves into would never be sold there because no one would buy it. (I do like the Quaxly line's designs, at least, even if the final evo is a bit more ornate than I usually expect my starters to be. When in doubt: ducks.)

Now, as for new evolutions of existing Pokemon, it's downright criminal that Wyrdeer is mentioned in Stantler's Pokedex entry and yet you can't evolve Stantler into Wyrdeer in Paldea. Same thing with Ursaring and Ursaluna -- why lock the evolution behind owning an entirely different game? Especially when whoever picks up that game and plays it to evolve a Wyrdeer or Ursaluna will immediately realize that Legends Arceus runs a great deal better than the main series game that came out ten months after it? I'd say Game Freak has shot themselves in the foot here, but I think by this point they've shot both their feet clean off and they don't have a leg to stand on.

But hey, Dunsparce has finally evolved, right? Right? Into... a longer and slightly more complicated Dunsparce. With two different forms, for some odd reason, which look almost exactly alike, and which one you get is entirely randomly determined. Who came up with this mechanic, a Wurmple?

Cards on the table, I caught myself a Flittle, never used it, then caught myself an overleveled Espathra and had absolutely zero idea that these mons were at all related. Because one is a little blob girl in a ballerina skirt, and the other is the most fabulous and fashionable ostrich ever to roam the earth. Who would've thought they were in any way related? My kingdom for a middle stage! (Disclaimer: I own no kingdom.)

When I first heard about convergent Pokemon, I thought, 'well, this should be interesting, seeing all the different ways they recycle old designs into entirely new concepts.' And apparently 'all the different ways they recycle old designs' means 'Wiglett and Toedscool and that's literally it.' And they're both based off of gen one designs, which of course is gonna appeal to the vocal internet hate crowd just swell.

On that note, I named my first Toedscool 'Leggy Helix' after a cursed meme by CanisAries from the Twitch Plays Pokemon subreddit which is basically... well, I'll let you see it for yourself. If you want to -- there's a reason it's a link and not an imbed. To be fair, it's no more cursed than some of these Gen 9 Pokemon designs, I can tell you that much.

g68016ma3uky.png (1065×1370) (redd.it)

On the subject of convergent Pokemon, why the freaking heck is Dondozo not at all related to Whiscash? It's not a convergent Pokemon, it's not an evolution, it's not a regional form, it's not even a paradox form, it's just there. It's the Alomomola to Whiscash's Luvdisc, and at least Alomomola had the excuse of 'no old mons in Unova' (which of course went out the window the moment the postgame happened, but I digress), which Dondozo had literally four different methods to connect somehow with Whiscash, and it failed all of them. It could've even evolved from Whiscash leveling up with a Tatsugiri in the party, which would have made absolute sense, but no. It even shares the Oblivious ability with Whiscash! Seriously, Game Freak?

Now, I have nothing whatsoever against Revavroom -- it's a new typing, unique concept, and a nice design -- but can we at least address the fact that Team Star are academy students that drive monster trucks and that you have to battle these monster trucks to take down Team Star? Where did these kids get their drivers' licenses? Or is the Revavroom the driver? How does a Pokemon drive a car? How does a Pokemon get a driver's license? If the car kills one of your Pokemon in a nuzlocke (which it invariably will; they're significantly strong opponents and this game definitely puts up a decent challenge), then was your Pokemon run over? (I have... an inkling of an idea how to address this mechanic in a potential future Aetherai nuzlocke, but be forewarned that it is very silly.)

Orthworm... Orthworm. I don't know where the hell this came from, but I wish it had stayed there. It has a silly face, six ridiculous limbs, and no sign of intelligence whatsoever. On top of that, I went into the Titan Orthworm battle with a group of mostly Ground-types, only to discover that its ability was Earth Eater, which is essentially Water Absorb for Ground-type moves. Yeah. Somehow I managed to survive the first round, but in between I switched up my team because this is ridiculously broken against someone going in blind.

Now, I have nothing against Tandemaus's whole 'this is multiple of the same Pokemon' gimmick (even if it has been done to death since Exeggcute), but the Pokemon design itself is very... did they make the models and then entirely forget to color them? Because that's my headcanon now. Most likely these were NOT originally meant to be plain white soulless automatons, but their colors went the same way as putting anything of actual interest inside the towns to make them worth exploring. (Actually, that could explain why Tandemaus's shiny forms are just as boring as their regular forms.)

Cetoddle and Cetitan... man. I wonder who came up with the idea of a walking ice whale. Like, did someone have one too many Moomoo Milks at the bar and then conceive of this fever dream of a concept? "Hey, you know what would be fun? A walking ice whale Pokemon. For no reason."

The Frigibax line is apparently, once again, Game Freak giving all the major Legendary and Psuedo-Legendary spots to Dragon types. I presume it's based on something prehistoric, but I lack the extensive knowledge of deceased reptiles to determine what dinosaur exactly. It's not a bad design line, I just want a Fairy or Steel type Psuedo for once. (I mean, technically Beldum was 'once,' but what I mean is, stop giving us too many dragons. We get it, dragons are awesome, just share the spotlight a bit here!)

The Pawmi line is... look, if there's one thing that makes an evolution a good evolution, it's actually making the evolutions look like evolutions, not like just a slightly bigger version of the Pokemon that came before it. This is the first Pika-clone to evolve since Pichu, and they botched the concept entirely by making it as boring as possible. Why.

There's not much to say about Flamigo, as it literally resembles your standard garden-variety plastic display ornament. It's literally just a flamingo. Gen 1 called; they want their bird back.

Now the Nacli line I actually like, but it goes on the list anyway because it looks like a Minecraft mob. Which I suppose it has the right to because it is literally made of salt blocks. And also has a broken ability that prevents it from any status condition whatsoever and makes Ghost moves not very effective. I suppose that's evened out by the fact that it's a Rock type, and thus has so many weaknesses that it could use a new resistance. (Apologies to you earth-type enthusiasts, but Wolfe Glick did list Rock as one of the five weakest types in competitive Pokemon, and I believe him. But he also won the SwSh Players Cup 2 with G-Max Coalossal, which proves that typing isn't the sole determiner of how viable a Pokemon is, especially when a Rock/Fire type with two 4x weaknesses can utterly dominate a metagame that was, to be fair, entirely unprepared for it at the time.)

And as for the Paradox Pokemon... this is it? These are the long-anticipated "proto forms" and "neo forms" that everyone's been speculating on? The vast majority of these things are ugly as sin! What is Scream Tail supposed to be? Brute Bonnet? Why don't these things have any actual names? Like Flutter Mane? That sounds like something from My Little Pony, not a Misdreavus having a bad hair day and somehow the Pokedex thinks that makes it a pterosaur! And Sandy Shocks? How would you know if a Magneton lived for ten thousand years? What would you do, ask it how old it was?

At least the past-based Paradox Pokemon have some quote-unquote 'unique' design conventions. The future forms... yeah, they're basically all robots. And the lore is wack, yo. Iron Jugulis is the offspring of a Hydreigon that fell in love with a robot? That's not how egg groups work; are you sure one of them wasn't a Ditto? Iron Thorns at least has a thematic excuse of being Mecha-Godzilla, even though Duraludon kiiiiiinda already called that point? And why do all the future Paradox Pokemon have 'Iron' in their title when only Iron Treads is actually Steel type? (Not that I'm complaining that they're not all Steel type; that would be every bit as bad as, for instance, making all your pseudos Dragon type. And Game Freak would never do that, right? RIGHT?)

I will however say that I do like Iron Valiant's design, particularly how it calls back to both Mega Gardevoir and Mega Gallade (for those who are curious, it's classified as 'gender unknown' like the other Paradox forms). But that plus Roaring Moon being clearly based around Mega Salamence, as well as G-Max Gengar having a very similar ability to Mega Gengar, makes me worried that Game Freak is going to continue not giving us any new Mega Evolutions and instead recycling bits and pieces of old Mega mechanics so they can pretend to be giving us what we want without actually doing so. I also like how Chien-Pao is the same type as Johtoan Sneasel and resembles one of the old Beta Sneasel designs, and basically I love the four ruinous legendaries far too much to even attempt to lampoon them here.

Finally, one more snark: While I am well aware of the lore behind how you evolve a Bisharp into Kingambit, I am worried about how this mechanic will (or won't) translate into future Pokemon games. Given that you can't evolve Stantler into Wyrdeer or Ursaring into Ursaluna in this game, how many future Pokemon games can you see including the mechanic of "To evolve Bisharp into Kingambit, defeat 3 Bisharp in groups with Pawniard that hold a Leader's Crest then level up" (Serebii.net)? Not that I would miss it if it was gone, because its design is very... wow. That's honestly the only word I can think of for it.

So what do you think? Did I roast your sacred cow? Or sacred Tauros? I mean, there are only four regional form Pokemon in the entire Paldea region, and Tauros is three of them. That's kind of weird. Of course, 'kind of weird' is how I'd sum up Scurvy's design decisions as a whole, and while there are definitely Gen 9 mon that I do really, really like, that's not what this article was about, was it? Let me know what cows you're roasting this Turkey Day!
 
OP
Trollkitten

Trollkitten

Kitten of Lore
Artist
Writer
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
208
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
3,323
Location
Gatto Region
Nature
Quirky
Pronouns
She/her, Aetherai Lorekeeper
Pokémon Type
  1. Fairy
  2. Clever
Pokédex Entry
Autistic writer who starts more things than she finishes. Loves music, worldbuilding, anthropomorphism, horrible puns, and Masquerain.
EXCUSE ME, HYPNO IS NOT THE WORST DESIGN, IT IS IN FACT THE BEST.
It clearly escaped from the Simpsons and left its clothes behind. That's not what I'd call the best design.
 

Memento

The Princess of Darkness
Writer
Screenshotter
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
202
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
869
Location
St. Louis, Missouri
Nature
Timid
Pronouns
She, her
Pokémon Type
  1. Fairy
  2. Ghost
Pokédex Entry
She is known to spend hours daydreaming about her stories.
It clearly escaped from the Simpsons and left its clothes behind. That's not what I'd call the best design.

It's a baku/tapir with an adorable ruffled fur neck and a hypnotic pendant! And you'd call that the worst design over, say, Jynx or Mr. Mime?
 
OP
Trollkitten

Trollkitten

Kitten of Lore
Artist
Writer
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
208
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
3,323
Location
Gatto Region
Nature
Quirky
Pronouns
She/her, Aetherai Lorekeeper
Pokémon Type
  1. Fairy
  2. Clever
Pokédex Entry
Autistic writer who starts more things than she finishes. Loves music, worldbuilding, anthropomorphism, horrible puns, and Masquerain.
It's a baku/tapir with an adorable ruffled fur neck and a hypnotic pendant! And you'd call that the worst design over, say, Jynx or Mr. Mime?
...I will concede the Mr. Mime.
 

ActiveTransport

Fiery Torch
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
3654
Caught
Feb 5, 2021
Messages
409
Location
A Land of Exquisite Sunsets
Nature
Hardy
Pronouns
He/Him
Pokémon Type
  1. Fire
  2. Psychic
Pokédex Entry
Hobbies: running, reading, singing, playing Pokémon (especially competitive battling), and practicing my Catholic faith!
I'll be honest, I haven't even looked at most of the new Scurvy Pokemon yet, so I don't have much prior knowledge with which to assess your claims. However, it all pretty much sounds like what I've come to expect from Game Freak at this point, so I'll just say I trust your opinion. Maybe the one place I'd push back is Cetitan. I saw a meme right after its reveal talking about how we now have a land whale Pokemon with the perfect type to counter the land shark Pokemon. (I would say Fairy/Flying is the perfect counter to Dragon/Ground, but I digress). Point is, if Garchomp somehow makes sense, I don't think Cetitan makes any less sense in that regard.

I will also say that I'm quite disappointed with the Paradox concept in general. At least the Ultra Beasts had actual Pokemon names. Can't wait to tell my friends about my new favorites, Iron Bundle and Scream Tail /sarcasm.
 
OP
Trollkitten

Trollkitten

Kitten of Lore
Artist
Writer
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
208
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
3,323
Location
Gatto Region
Nature
Quirky
Pronouns
She/her, Aetherai Lorekeeper
Pokémon Type
  1. Fairy
  2. Clever
Pokédex Entry
Autistic writer who starts more things than she finishes. Loves music, worldbuilding, anthropomorphism, horrible puns, and Masquerain.
Maybe the one place I'd push back is Cetitan. I saw a meme right after its reveal talking about how we now have a land whale Pokemon with the perfect type to counter the land shark Pokemon. (I would say Fairy/Flying is the perfect counter to Dragon/Ground, but I digress). Point is, if Garchomp somehow makes sense, I don't think Cetitan makes any less sense in that regard.
Okay, that is entirely understandable. The main difference in my view is that Garchomp's family line looks undeniably awesome, while Cetitan... well, it looks like a whale with legs, which doesn't exactly appeal to me the way a streamlined velociraptor shark does.

To be fair, many Pokemon will never be as cool as Garchomp, and that's no fault to them. Garchomp is just that awesome.
 

SprungGeoduck

Conqueror of the Blackthorn Gym
Writer
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
120
Caught
Jun 21, 2019
Messages
491
Nature
Timid
Pronouns
She/they
Pokémon Type
  1. Electric
  2. Beautiful
While I usually try to be a positive person and find the Pokemon hate circlejerk exhausting and generally in bad faith, I do agree that an alarming number of the designs this gen are misses for me – not even mentioning their stat lines and movesets. I do like the games a lot overall, it's still Pokemon which I will always enjoy and the gameplay/story are great, but I think it's telling that as I wrap up the main story I never found two Paldean Pokemon I wanted on my team more than my reliable Magnezone and Azumarill.
 
OP
Trollkitten

Trollkitten

Kitten of Lore
Artist
Writer
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
208
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
3,323
Location
Gatto Region
Nature
Quirky
Pronouns
She/her, Aetherai Lorekeeper
Pokémon Type
  1. Fairy
  2. Clever
Pokédex Entry
Autistic writer who starts more things than she finishes. Loves music, worldbuilding, anthropomorphism, horrible puns, and Masquerain.
While I usually try to be a positive person and find the Pokemon hate circlejerk exhausting and generally in bad faith, I do agree that an alarming number of the designs this gen are misses for me – not even mentioning their stat lines and movesets.
Agreed on all counts -- it's why I wrote this article, because I felt like the article needed to be written. I tried to make it more funny than ranty because I wanted it to be enjoyable to read rather than aggressive.
 

Moon

Johto League Champion
Writer
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
3995
Caught
Mar 9, 2021
Messages
1,077
Nature
Sassy
Pronouns
She/Her
Pokémon Type
  1. Ghost
  2. Ice
Pokédex Entry
Because she’s the two rarest types, she’s the rarest pokemon. Yes, that's logical. No, there aren't other Ghost/Ice types. Froslass doesn't exist.
woo boy, this is gonna be a long post
And Crocalor... let's be frank, it looks like something you'd find for sale in a souvenir store. And what it evolves into would never be sold there because no one would buy it. (I do like the Quaxly line's designs, at least, even if the final evo is a bit more ornate than I usually expect my starters to be. When in doubt: ducks.)
Yeah. I just evolved my Fuecoco and was...not satisfied. I mean I knew what it looked like already, but i'm not carrying an unevolved starter for the rest of the game. It's fine. But i feel like they could have done so much better.
(I was going to pick Quaxly bc I thought its evos were best, but I couldn't say no to the big goofy grin of Fuecoco)
Now, as for new evolutions of existing Pokemon, it's downright criminal that Wyrdeer is mentioned in Stantler's Pokedex entry and yet you can't evolve Stantler into Wyrdeer in Paldea. Same thing with Ursaring and Ursaluna -- why lock the evolution behind owning an entirely different game? Especially when whoever picks up that game and plays it to evolve a Wyrdeer or Ursaluna will immediately realize that Legends Arceus runs a great deal better than the main series game that came out ten months after it? I'd say Game Freak has shot themselves in the foot here, but I think by this point they've shot both their feet clean off and they don't have a leg to stand on.
Wait, you can't evolve them into their Legends evos? dang.
With two different forms, for some odd reason, which look almost exactly alike, and which one you get is entirely randomly determined
Wait, two forms? I need to look that up.
...
Okay, so the difference is two segments vs three segments?
(also really, dundunsparce???? what-what kind of name-it is not on par with the other names.)
oh, looks like maushold does the same thing
I went into the Titan Orthworm battle with a group of mostly Ground-types, only to discover that its ability was Earth Eater, which is essentially Water Absorb for Ground-type moves. Yeah. Somehow I managed to survive the first round, but in between I switched up my team because this is ridiculously broken against someone going in blind.
Okay. I see your point.
However.
I feel like having a team of mostly one type wasn't the greatest idea. I mean. I get that you might've liked the designs of those pokemon, but. with the whole deal where there's 18 special titan/gym/star bases you were probably going to run into this problem eventuallt given that whenever there's 18 of something in pokemon, it almost always means one thing of each type, so like. The water/grass/ice type one.
...
Oh wait, it's a steel type? oh, i get it, you were preparing for something weak to ground, that wasn't your normal team, ohhhhhhhhhhhhhh.
yeah, that was devious. forget what I said. you're right.
Tandemaus
I just want to say that I love the name 'Maushold'. It;s like. household. but maus.
Cetoddle and Cetitan... man. I wonder who came up with the idea of a walking ice whale. Like, did someone have one too many Moomoo Milks at the bar and then conceive of this fever dream of a concept? "Hey, you know what would be fun? A walking ice whale Pokemon. For no reason."
Active Transport's point.
also, Cetoddle is incredible and i will not hear a single work against him.
...okay, wait, i saw cetoddle's artwork and it lookes like someone flattened it.
The Pawmi line is... look, if there's one thing that makes an evolution a good evolution, it's actually making the evolutions look like evolutions, not like just a slightly bigger version of the Pokemon that came before it. This is the first Pika-clone to evolve since Pichu, and they botched the concept entirely by making it as boring as possible. Why.
Yeah. I mean, i don't care that much about the designs of...
*checks notes*
huey, dewey, and lewey
Pawmi, Pawmo, and Pawmot, but like. I care a little. It just stood up. That's all it did. And those names...
Again, incredible. Flamigo??? what a name. flamingo. amigo. incredible.
Now the Nacli line I actually like, but it goes on the list anyway because it looks like a Minecraft mob
When I saw it my first thought was 'is that the rock mushroom from super mario galaxy?'
Like Flutter Mane? That sounds like something from My Little Pony, not a Misdreavus having a bad hair day and somehow the Pokedex thinks that makes it a pterosaur! And Sandy Shocks?
When I heard 'flutter mane' i thought of like my little pony, but like. generation one my little pony. And when I heard 'sandy shocks' I thought of the squirrel from spongebob.
nd why do all the future Paradox Pokemon have 'Iron' in their title when only Iron Treads is actually Steel type?
It's so sad! The scarlet people get 'scream tail' 'brute bonnet' 'great tusks'. and i, a violet person, get 'iron bundle.' 'iron jugulis'. 'iron hands'.
Side note: Iron Bundle is really creepy.
I love the four ruinous legendaries far too much to even attempt to lampoon them here.
I found out about them because my curiousity got the better of me and I was looking at the pokedex, then i saw the grass slug one and bulbapedia was like 'a legendary pokemon' and I went:
"Hm. I should probably stop as to not spoil myself."
I did not stop.
Not that I would miss it if it was gone, because its design is very... wow. That's honestly the only word I can think of for it.
Yeah. But I just love the whole chess thing the pawinard line has going for it.


Honestly though, one of the best things about these pokemon are the names. (sometimes. it's a bit of a mixed bag.)
Clodsire. Smoliv. Capsaikid and Scovillain. Bombirdier. Sprigatito. Oinkologne. Ceruledge and Armorouge. Palafin. Shrewdle. Fidough. I could go on.
...
OKAY WAIT HOLD UP IF BOMBIRDIER IS FLYING/DARK THEN WHY IS IT DROPPING BOULDERS????? I THOUGHT IT WAS FLYING/ROCK!
 

Bug

👉😎👉
Administrator
Moderator
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
1
Caught
May 13, 2019
Messages
2,648
Location
in a pile of bugs
Nature
Quiet
Pronouns
he/him
Pokémon Type
  1. Bug
  2. Cute
Pokédex Entry
oh fuck oh shit my dots...............................................................................................................................
Okay, I got a good giggle out of this. I’ve warmed up to all but one design in the game as of now. I’m looking at you spidops. But that being said, I’m very easy to please when it comes to Pokemon, on average. These evo methods tho…. I get the sense that ‘replicating this evolution in other gens’ wont be an issue, because we probably just wont see them again outright. For better or worse.

Which sure is ironic considering Unova is theoretically up next.
 

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