Episode Two of The Writer's Locke season two is here! In it we continue our storylocke reads and discuss the topic of fantasy vs realism in portraying pokemon. Then, we have a very special message from a sponsor in Johto!
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What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills.
I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words.
You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands.
Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue.
But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it.
Olive Garden has a whole entire commercial to announce that they are slathering even more Alfredo sauce on everything. That's the whole commercial. "More Alfredo sauce. Hold your applause." There is no deal, no promotion. They are not showing off their non-contact social-distancing skills. They are putting more Alfredo sauce on your dish, whether you like it or not. They are pouring more Alfredo sauce over your pasta before they serve it to you. More sauce. Still pouring. You have been waiting half an hour for your pasta, but the chef is still pouring. "More Alfredo sauce. Hold your applause," he is whispering to himself as he pours. It has been hours, the Olive Garden kitchen has flooded, and the creamy Alfredo sauce is slowly inching towards the tables. "Please," you beg, "that's enough sauce. I'm hungry!" The waiter takes your message to the chef, trudging through the thick Alfredo sauce. You hear a laugh from the kitchen, and then a loud yell: "MORE ALFREDO SAUCE!" and the chef continues pouring. It has been days. You stand atop your table to keep your head above the Alfredo Sauce. "PLEASE," you cry repeatedly in desperation, though you know your efforts are futile, "NO MORE ALFREDO SAUCE!" And yet again, the Chef calls out his perpetual answer "MORE ALFREDO SAUCE. HOLD YOUR APPLAUSE!" You succumb to the sauce. You fall below the surface and allow the alfredo sauce to overtake you, absorbing you into it. And you become the very thing you feared: more Alfredo sauce.