Play by Post Create a useless move, item or ability

[mewstein]

I have fond memories of this one from Tapatalk.

Just as it says on the box - create a semi-believable move, item or ability that’s useless or downright silly.

I’ll start: Nostalgia Goggles. An item that works like a repel except Gen I Pokemon are immune to the effects.

 

[RubyClaw]

Ooh I loved this game. Hmm let me see...

Thunwafire Stone - use this item on an Eevee to evolve it randomly into Vaporeon, Flareon or Jolteon. Can only be bought in stores where the other three stones are provided.

Time Traveler Shoes - Any game condition that checks the hour in your game is considered 5 minutes earlier than what the clock on your device indicates.

 

[AnOddEncounter]

Eulogy: Status
The pokemon that uses this move faints immediately.

Yep, it just faints, no healing(Healing Wish), no stat reduction(Memento), No Damage Done before hand(Explosion, Self Destruct), just death.

 

[SilverLeafeon75]

Dragon-Sneeze: status
Drops all of the users stats by 1
(This is an anime reference BTW)

Wavedash: status
Boosts the all users stats to +6, then faints the user.

 

[Kazzius]

Tarmac: Key Item.

Let's you ride your bike in battle as well.

 

[Time Master Eon]

Introspection: Transforms the user into themselves.

 

[mewstein]

Magibuff: a hold item that boosts Magikarp’s Special Attack stat 2+.

Galarian Summer: a gen VIII ability that randomly switches the weather conditions between scorching sun, torrential rain and freezing hail each turn when the Pokemon is in battle.

edit: mods please feel free to nix this last one if it’s a violation of the embargo.

 

[Kazzius]

Pokeballball: An item that lets you catch unused pokeballs for your own use.

 

[Obelisk]

Recursion: Activates Recursion.

 

[mewstein]

Spritify: A move that can only be learnt by Pokemon that existed prior to Gen VI. Causes the user to revert to the original sprite version of themselves.
Has no other effects save for a slight increase in evasiveness as they are now only 1 pixel wide.

 

[RubyClaw]

Slowpoke tail - Worth 1,000,000 pokeyen yet can't be sold anywhere. Will only add one extra line of dialog to the dude wanting to sell you one after Union Cave: "Oh, you already have one? Well sorry for bothering you...".

 

[mewstein]

Quaranta Espresso: A battle item which contains so much caffeine the user now believes they Can See Through Time(tm). Doubles their speed stat but also causes paralysis.

Last Week’s Leftovers: A hold item that works exactly the same as Leftovers, but the holder is now poisoned.

 

[RubyClaw]

Quaranta Espresso: A battle item which contains so much caffeine the user now believes they Can See Through Time(tm). Doubles their speed stat but also causes paralysis.

Last Week’s Leftovers: A hold item that works exactly the same as Leftovers, but the holder is now poisoned.

Oooh I'd love to get me some of that Quaranta Espresso. I also always wondered how leftovers can still be useful for so long.

You'd be surprised but actually both these items can be quite useful in very specific situations. There are a few things will benefit you for being paralyzed or being poisoned (See Toxic Orb strategies, Facade, etc).

 

[Kazzius]

Umbrella. Held Item. Pokemon can deploy their umbrella during rain, and so any fire attacks used by the user that targets the user will not be halved by the rain.

 

[Cirr]

Levitating Perch - gives a Flying-type the Levitate ability

 

[Vivificient]

New held item - Danger Helmet - Allows all the Pokémon's physical moves to inflict recoil damage.

 

[mewstein]

Ho-Oh Glide: An Alolan pager option. Works exactly the same as the Charizard Glide but summons a huge rainbow-coloured firebird instead. The complexity of the model and animation causes so much lag on the 3DS that it’d be quicker to walk to your destination...

 

[JavierE64]

Pikachu´s Horn: A held Item that makes Ground type loose their Electric Immunity.
However, It cannot be Switched or Knock over by other moves.

 

[Mattman324]

Slowpoke tail - Worth 1,000,000 pokeyen yet can't be sold anywhere. Will only add one extra line of dialog to the dude wanting to sell you one after Union Cave: "Oh, you already have one? Well sorry for bothering you...".

The Slowpoketail is actually an obtainable item, albeit briefly, in GSC. It was put into the data of HGSS but never used, and is actively still in the data of modern games.

 

[surfe]

Tamper: Destroys the foe's held mail item.