Play by Post Corrupt A Wish

[mewstein]

Granted, you now find job hunting such a sleeping-inducing process that you frequently face-plant into your keyboard while you write your application letters. Hence many of your potential employers receive:

"Dear Mr. Walmart,
I am interested in applying for the advertised position of store cleeeeeeeopfggrgsgggreggggggggggggg....."

I wish Netflix would turn Bad Apples into a show.

 

[RubyClaw]

Granted. They make a really bad low budgeted soap opera very VERY loosely based on it, and as it is based on your run you can't help yourself and watch all 500 awful chapters of it, and lose interest in your own run (Also you don't get royalties as no watches it). Thanks Netflix...

I wish I could sleep 3 hours a day and still be healthy and not tired throughout the day.

 

[MarkedInStone]

You can't decide when those three hours are in the day and you don't know.

I wish that Jimi Hendrix never died.

 

[mewstein]

Granted, but to achieve immortality your idol made a pact with the Rock ‘n Roll Devil - he still believes he is the world’s greatest guitarist, but in reality can now only play the ukulele very, VERY badly. And nobody has the heart to tell him. Poor Jimi.

I wish I could transform into a raven at will (it would be so convenient compared to commuting to work every day!)

 

[RubyClaw]

Granted, though you forgot to ask for the ability to transform back. You're a raven now, enjoy life. No need to fly to work anymore.

I wish I had a pet Charmander.

 

[Kazzius]

Granted, but it hates you and runs away.

I wish for a million cookies.

 

[LucarioOfLegends]

Granted. A million cookies fall on top of you and crush you to death. Now they're covered in strawberry jam!

I wish I would go outside more often.

 

[Memento]

Granted, but you get quite a nasty bit of sunburn from going outside more often. Good luck with that!

I wish I was a magical girl.

 

[Sheepscope]

You get your wish, but your skirt keeps exploding. It just doesn't want to be.

I wish I had a great graphic design job.

 

[MarkedInStone]

Yes, but all of your co-workers hate you and make life there a living hell.

I wish I could walk on water, Super Mario Galaxy Ice Mario-style.

 

[mewstein]

Congratulations, you body now has a lower density than water, so you can walk on the surface without sinking. Unfortunately, you now weigh about as much as a sheet of paper, so the slightest breath of wind is enough to knock you over.

I wish I owned the winning ticket for the next EuroMillions draw...

 

[sky_]

Granted, but that week's Euromillion's draw is suspended midway through due to allegations of someone using dubious means to acquire the winning ticket and rig the contest. Next week's draw uses completely different ticket numbers

I wish that everything I drew came to life

 

[silvercoffee]

Granted, but you'll automatically trade in 10 actual human souls for each thing you drew.

I wish my eyes will stop hurting.

 

[LucarioOfLegends]

Granted, you're eyes will no longer hurt. However, you now have an astigmatism that makes everything you see look 5 feet to the left.

 

[mewstein]

I wish a certain Lucario would make a wish that I could corrupt...

@LucarioOfLegends

 

[LucarioOfLegends]

Whoopsie doo I wish I wouldn't forget a pattern.

 

[mewstein]

Granted, you can recall every chess board or swatch of plaid you ever encountered. However, you can no longer remember people’s faces.

I wish global warming was no longer happening, but England retained its current Mediterranean temperatures...

 

[Sheepscope]

Your wish is granted, but suddenly, trees attack London! Bonsai!

I wish news media were less biased and took more care in their research.

 

[The Man of Many Names]

Granted. Unfortunately, no matter how much research reporters do in their stories, to YOU every news story will all look like half-assed clickbate rushed out in an attempt to appeal to the masses, even if all the evidence indicates that what they're saying is true. If someone attempts to point this out, you say? Well, then you double down on your ineptitude and insist that everything made is fake news.

I wish I had the power to manipulate water.

 

[SimplyUnknown]

Granted, but you are only able to do this with a garden hose and it never stops looking incredibly silly. Also, no one believes you are manipulating the water because you're using the hose and you get laughed at by everyone.

I wish that alcohol was never invented.