Play by Post Corrupt A Wish

[mewstein]

Another throwback to Tapatalk days:

Make a wish, whatever your black heart most desperately desires at this moment in time. The next poster will grant your wish, but with some undessirable consequence. For example:

Poster 1: I wish Trump was impeached!

Poster 2: Granted, but the jobless former-president now inhabits your basement. I wish it would rain Cheetos!

...etc.

I'll start: I wish my landlord would let me have a cat!

 

[Memento]

Granted, but the cat is rabid, and there's no hospital near you. Looks like you get to die an excruciating death.

I wish that I was a wolf puppy.

 

[SimplyUnknown]

Granted, but you're now a wolf guppy which is essentially a goldfish with tiny fake wolf ears. Congrats on suffocating due to a lack of water!

I wish that it was Friday, 7/26/2019.

 

[cross_off]

granted but since its a friday and 26 is twice 13 you have a day where everything concievable goes wrong and then some

I wish that I win smogon classic vi (and jokes on you guys because there's nothing that could ruin that for me)

 

[Kazzius]

Granted, but a different tournament gains all the prestige and so you're the only one who attends and you win by default. It's an entirely meaningless title that no one cares about, and that's if they've even heard about it.

I wish I had a tasty waffle.

 

[CasualGameFreak]

Granted, but someone laced it with laxatives.

I wish I had free and convenient public transit in my area.

 

[Serranade]

Granted. The first day of operation, a major accident occurs, and every single local politician immediately orders it out of commission.

I wish I had more money for video games.

 

[satanicswirlix]

Granted, you now have $3 to afford that fresh new mobile game!

I wish I had a decent job!

 

[mewstein]

Granted, you love your job so much that you work at it at for every God-given hour, destroy every relationship you have, forget to eat, drink or visit the bathroom and your rat-nibbled husk is eventually excavated from your office two months later. Such work ethic!

And on that cheery note, I wish I could fly!

 

[RubyClaw]

Granted, but all you can do is soar up, so eventually you get out of the stratosphere and well, die,

I wish I had more time for my hobbies and friends!

 

[Rhema]

Granted, but all you have time for is hobbies and friends. You don't have a spare second to eat or breathe, sooooo.....dead.

I wish I owned and lived in my dream home!

 

[JavierE64]

Granted, but you can't get out of that house; It will only be a matter of time before you go insane staying in one single place for the rest of your life.

In the meantime, I wish for a peanut.

 

[Memento]

Granted, but you happen to be allergic. Very allergic. So allergic, in fact, that even touching it can kill you. So, you have your peanut, but all you can do is look at it longingly.

I wish I had a pet Hypno that will not harm me.

 

[QuietGuardian]

Granted, but it will harm other people, resulting in many, many lawsuits.

I wish I had my own place to live.

 

[SimplyUnknown]

Granted, but that place happens to be jail after you are arrested and given a lifetime sentence. Enjoy your 3 square meals and tiny cell.

I wish that chocolate was both tasty and healthy.

 

[silvercoffee]

Granted, but chocolates are very rare now and expensive. Countries wage war against each other just to get a bite of chocolate.

I wish my ongoing nuzlocke run is gonna end with no pokemon fainted.

 

[Derogatory Trainer]

Every Trainer you face only has six Magikarp and you become extremely bored by the lack of challenge.

I wish I could teleport.

 

[silvercoffee]

Granted. The teleport will activate randomly at any time to a random place.

I wish that I can wake up early tomorrow.

 

[mewstein]

Granted, you now share your room with a large and very vocal rooster, with no concept of weekends.

I wish I would win the Nobel Prize In Physiology Or Medicine...

 

[fractale]

congrats, you won... and then the doctorate student comes to you with a lawyer because you stole her research in the first place

i wish i had a cake