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Written Story Galar Teen Colossus

Thread Description
or, The Hooligan's Revenge; or, A Treatise on the Premier Pokemon League's Legal Failings

Garish Garchomp

Friendly Neighborhood Landshark
Administrator
Moderator
🌱Featurer
Writer
Pokédex No.
43
Caught
Jun 12, 2019
Messages
565
Nature
Sassy
Pronouns
He/Him
Pokémon Type
Dragon, Psychic
Pokédex Entry
he's ok i guess

Welcome to Colossus! This... is not a run I thought would make it to this point, to be honest with you, even after I decided to half-focus on it for NaNo recently. It's far more straightforward than any of my usual stuff, it's got way way way more battles than any run I've written for a long time, and I'm still kinda figuring out any plot mechanisms going on because I'm trying to make it a lot more character-focused.

Don't mistake character-focused for downbeat.
  • This was yet another typelocke: Poison/Ghost/Dark.
  • Because of this, I allowed myself a catch in each distinct Wild Area section. Damn well better believe I had to map all that out.
  • There was nothing else special about the run. No camping ig? I just kinda plowed thru shit, stayin' true to my protag.
------------
Intro: below!
Ch. 1 ~ Train in Vain: also below!
Ch. 2 ~ Bad Faith
Ch. 3 ~ I'm Your Villain

A year ago, he woke up and decided to become a drummer. Grabbed a branch that had fallen off one of these rare things in Spikemuth called trees, broke it over his knee, and started playing along to the new TOX album. Built up the stamina for an hour-long concert, learned a few fills, all that. He even convinced Piers to let him play a show or two, when one drummer came down with pneumonia and the other flew the coop to make it barely a gym into the League Challenge. It went well… until he blew a hole through the snare, hurled the kick pedal against the asphalt, and snapped a drumstick to throw both shards at a guy in the audience who he recognized as the kid who bullied him back in year eight.

It was not that bully. He was not invited back to the band. And he’s still broke after buying half a new drum kit for the original drummer.

A month ago, he woke up in his grungy old flat and felt a bit claustrophobic. Enough that he went and hitchhiked east to Hammerlocke. Met a pair of old punks, sporting mohawks and crow’s feet with equal levels of aplomb. Talked enough shit about the Tories that the PM’s ears probably burst into flames in the middle of a hearing. He later met a young man strung out on about a dozen drugs he hadn’t even heard of. At least three times during that ride, he somehow stamped down the impulse to tuck and roll out of the speeding hardtop and take his chances with the motorway so he wouldn’t end up with his intestines roped around an evergreen.

A week ago, he woke up to his radio blaring some real brutal punk, and started trying to learn a new language. It was a band from Kalos that absolutely fucking ripped, and even with their stupid accents he’d always felt there was a certain poetic quality to the language too. Of course, his own accent would butcher Kalosian worse than a slasher flick set in a slaughterhouse, and he gave up within about three hours max. But one day, he’d understand what they fuck they were saying. Maybe.

Today, Taz woke up, took his friend’s money through an ill-advised dare, and tried to become a pokemon trainer.

The attendant at the station side-eyes me real hard as I present my pass, but makes no comment other than “good luck.” Probably gonna be a running theme, that.

I march right onto the first train out of Wedgehurst without any trouble (or money spent!), and slide into the least torn-up booth I see. Kick my legs up on the seat, too.

Maybe some rich prick’ll waltz onboard, but nobody actually competent’s gonna be joining me here. Those blokes’ll be busy, y’know, setting themselves up for success. Building a proper team from the off, training them up, forging lifelong bonds, all that bullshit. They’re out filling their belts with critters, and I’m just sat on the train with a rabbit that tried to incinerate my ankles back at the Postwick Castle gardens.

So far, though, nice and empty. ‘Cos of that, I tap the little button on my sole used Pokeball, releasing Belter onto the table. The scorbunny’s nose twitches as he adjusts to this far more cramped setting, looking to me for direction.

Someone on the platform shouts about a last call. Someone else out there swears, real loud. Sure enough, a bird in a spotless uni bounds on, glares at me just for being here, and takes a seat as far away from me as she can.

Belter huffs, not liking her vibe in the slightest.

“Not here, mate,” I tell him, snapping my fingers. His beady little eyes dart between me and her. I already know what that means. “Oi, you get me thrown off this train, I’ll fuckin’ punt you halfway to Alola.”

She scoffs at me from the back. “Fuckin’ punt you too, just wait,” I bark.

With that all settled, I swivel into an actual seated position, getting ready to take in a far nicer view than the brick walls I get to stare at all day in Spikemuth. I tell you what, barging my way into the League like this is the best time I’ve had since I cameoed in Piers’ band. Never mind that it’ll probably last about as long.

Like I said, it’s just fodder on this northbound-

“Yep, plenty of seats here. Good luck!”

In struts Marnie.

Piers’ sister peers across the car, looks me off, and finally decides to sit at the booth across from me. Her morpeko waddles along before hopping into the seat with her, then right onto the table. She looks downright prim and proper compared to my starter, who’s currently-

“Hey, get outta there,” I growl, batting him softly aside the head. Belter’s digging into my bag already, like he doesn’t know everything in there already. Little shit wouldn’t know how to act proper if you stapled a monocle to him and put him through a year’s worth of etiquette training by the Queen herself.

The train departs from the station without another word from any of us three on board. We pass through a tiny village where half the residents have come out to wave at us ‘cos it’s probably the highlight of their year. Only then does she speak up.

“Right, so… why are you here?”

Marnie’s glaring at me with the same dour look that she wears in public, in private, to sleep, fuckin’ everywhere. If Piers is the fire, she’s the ice. League’s probably damn glad she’s the heir to his throne. If that throne’s even around in a year or two.

I shrug. “Figure it’s more worth it to get north and build from there. My bun can only boot so many wooloos up and down Wedgehurst,” I reply. I reach over and pet the squirmy fuck behind the ears, which only now softens his scowling across the train car.

She rolls her eyes. Behind her, the hills start looming higher and getting more jagged. Less rolling and more careening. “Y’know what I mean. Never mind how you even mugged off enough people to get here. Why?”

“C’mon now, Marn. A bloke like me can’t live his dream?” I roll my eyes right back at her. Pull my hand away from Belter to put my palms up, and he makes the same pose.

The scoff she lets out is so loud I bet they heard it back at the station. “You told me your dream was to live out of a Tiago’s so you’d never have to pay for it again.”

“Stand by it! I’d bathe in that sauce if I could. Would still smell better than the fuckin’ squatters above me. But just below that and drumming with The Hellboys, y’know, I’ve always wanted to take on the League.”

That’s not even much of a lie, that one! Fuck the League! Who cares if it’s not a truth either, I’ve got free supplies I can hock for a month of meals once I’m home, and a bloody scorbunny still glaring daggers at this poor morpeko. Far as I’m concerned, I am living the dream.

“That’s why you’ve not put your name forward the past few years, right? Waiting for just the right moment? Building that cracking resume of yours?” Finally the sarcasm just pours right out. It’s about as much lilt as I’ve ever heard in her voice, and it’s as comforting as downing a shot of wasabi.

I throw my hands up and lean back against the cheap vinyl seating. “I ain’t here for your spotlight, if you think I’m on some big fuckin’ windup. Y’damn well know I don’t need any of that bullshit shining on me anytime soon.”

“Spikemuth doesn’t need it either,” Marnie grumbles. She glances out the window as if our shoddy town was right there. Could be blowing by all the bars (rather, all the dives) before hitting that legendary beachfront panorama. Miles of cloud-addled coastline scarred by that rusty behemoth of a power plant to the north. Nothing like the symbol of our town cheerfully pumping energy up to Circhester and reluctantly powering our poor asses as well.

Nothing like the symbol of our town getting shut down, too.

I bat a hand at her now with a cheeky little grin. Belter blows a puff of smoke at Marnie’s morpeko, with a little hiss to boot. She finally shirks behind her trainer, having enough of my starter’s shit. Belter kicks his feet up after a job well done intimidating the bugger, so I set my bag against the window to give him a headrest. “Yeah yeah, my mum already told me enough as a kid that I’ve got a face for radio.”

I watch as the gears churn in her head. Probably wondering whether it’s worth it to even acknowledge my existence anymore. Apparently it is, because she pivots right away from the window.

“They want every excuse up there to take us out for good, Taz.” There’s no cat and mouse anymore, no playing with her food. Liepard’s going in now. “The only reason my brother hasn’t quit yet is because the minute he does, the League probably puts a gym in the middle of the Wilds, down in the tundra, bloody anywhere but Spikemuth. If our town doesn’t show up and show out this year, it’s over. When that League money stops coming in, we’re fucked. And I don’t know Callum well, but…”

“He’ll spend more time chasing birds than chasing badges. If he gets to Milo I’d be gobsmacked,” I tell her.

“Exactly.” She leans in, in case the bird in the back’s eavesdropping. “So what is it going to look like when he crashes out and you and your bloody psychopathic bun get caught for fucking fraud?”

I wag a finger, like it’s all this simple. “They’ve got me in the system now,” I whisper, sitting up now. “Doubt my battling all you like, but don’t you dare doubt my photo editing skills. I didn’t spend a day poring over Graphite and Squire for nothing.”

“No, you spent it for the death of Spikemuth,” she snipes. “That’s all they’ll need to shut us down unless I go all the way, against this bloody fierce competition. Champ’s little brother, that prodigy of a friend of his, whoever Rose himself threw in this year, this lineup is stacked. I don’t want to be training for Raihan and still have a mic shoved in my face asking me about your dumb ass and my dumb town!”

Belter sits up, the tension rousing him yet again. He stares Marnie down, that killer instinct of his just waiting for a signal to be unleashed. I just stretch my arms above me all lazy-like. “I get ya don’t want me here. No one does. That’s kinda the point, innit? Believe me, Marn, the last thing I’d do is get in your way.”

“Then quit now,” she growls. “Save us all the trouble.”

“We’re fucked to high hell anyway,” I say. “Pull the rod out of your ass once we get to the Wilds, got a long trek ahead of you.”

She doesn’t grace me with a reply, or even a single glance for the rest of the trip.

If you can get Taz's full first name correct I'll give you praise and the satisfaction of a job well done.

The intro was the very first thing I wrote for him way back around SwSh's release, a mission statement of sorts to set in stone his feralness. It took a couple tries to sort out a proper first chapter, constantly pushing it forward and cutting unnecessary fluff. Sorry, yall don't get to see Taz's ankles get snapped by a sadistic scorbunny! You'll see that only directed on everyone else... probably. Except Marnie. She's too good for that shit.

Oh yeah, also a quick note: I'm American. This is Galar. If you're from the UK and reading this, and I misuse some slang (or mistakenly use slang from stateside), just let me know! I'll be straight with you, I've done some absorption through A. watching a bunch of football, 2. British panels shows, and III. gaming vids on YT, but I would never profess to be anything more than passable when it comes to nailing the vaunted vernacular of the chav. Bear with me, help me out if I fuck something up, and know that I'm not trying to perfectly replicate anything, instead just hoping I can get some stuff right.

At least I know what a nonce is.

Chapter title is, what else, Train in Vain by The Clash. Get it? Bc they're on a train? Thank you, stick around for more slicing wit like that to come.

MORE IMPORTANTLY, the run title! Colossus comes from the absolutely titanic, driving epic from one of the UK's great bands atm, IDLES. Do yourself a service and take 5+ mins out of your life to listen to this fucking masterpiece. Ugh. So good.
 
Last edited:

Aurea

Moderator
Moderator
🎇Contributor
Writer
Pokédex No.
25
Caught
Jun 9, 2019
Messages
738
Location
Sinnoh Region
Nature
Sassy
Pronouns
She/Her
Pokémon Type
Psychic, Steel
IT'S FINALLY HEREEEEE
Little shit wouldn’t know how to act proper if you stapled a monocle to him and put him through a year’s worth of etiquette training by the Queen herself.
I've only just met Belter and I'd die for him.
The scoff she lets out is so loud I bet they heard it back at the station. “You told me your dream was to live out of a Tiago’s so you’d never have to pay for it again.”
The first time I read this line I just cackled. Taz sounds like chaos incarnate, and I love seeing how he and Marnie bounce off each other. She can definitely match his snark/wit, and to be honest, that's how you survive when you live in a dumpy, forgotten town that's basically on life support. Their history, even if just because they hail from the same place, rings loud and clear here. I am dying to find out more about how many times they've crossed paths in the past. 👀
It’s about as much lilt as I’ve ever heard in her voice, and it’s as comforting as downing a shot of wasabi.
Taz's voice was clear as day from the beginning, but goddamn if this line doesn't cinch it. This story is going to be a blast to read from his perspective, I can already tell.
Miles of cloud-addled coastline scarred by that rusty behemoth of a power plant to the north. Nothing like the symbol of our town cheerfully pumping energy up to Circhester and reluctantly powering our poor asses as well.

Nothing like the symbol of our town getting shut down, too.
But that's not to say there won't be some heavier stuff! Like this description, which is fleeting but carries so much weight, goddamn. The tension is palpable, with Spikemuth hanging in the balance and Marnie feeling like it all rests on her shoulders, and I'm already dreading (but also kinda looking forward to) the exact moment Taz faceplants and Marnie has to save face.

Cannot WAIT to see how Taz and Belter claw their way to the top, and I'm so excited Colossus is finally here.
 

localhoney

the smooth jazz of bastards
Writer
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
2002
Caught
May 17, 2020
Messages
280
Location
Miami, FL
Nature
Adamant
Pronouns
he/him
Pokémon Type
Electric, Poison
It's finally here! Taz is feral as fuck and I'm instantly in love with his dynamic with Marnie. If Piers is fire and Marnie is ice, then Taz is probably a fucking tornado. Dude is just a mess and talented at getting under skins. I'm already imagining all his potential interactions with the league leaders (particularly Kabu, because how is that old dude going to take to Taz... gotta be patient for that one I guess!)
Miles of cloud-addled coastline scarred by that rusty behemoth of a power plant to the north. Nothing like the symbol of our town cheerfully pumping energy up to Circhester and reluctantly powering our poor asses as well.
But even though we've got your bastard protag, we still get this fucking killer of a paragraph. You do a great job of both literal description and worldbuilding with these two lines, which also serve to really push why Marnie is so pissed that Taz's dumb ass is on the train.

So excited for more!
 

Uberle

Lur King
Writer
Screenshotter
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
209
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
1,530
Nature
Lax
Pronouns
he/him
Pokémon Type
Fire
Pokédex Entry
Stays in the distortion dimension where no one bothers him
Yeah I immediately love Taz
Man wakes up, decides to do a thing, and does it
I love it, it's great

Looks like this'll dive more into how Spikemuth is struggling to stay relevant with Piers being the only reason the town's still afloat
Similar to This is a Low with Bede's concept, I love that this explores a plot point from SwSh that doesn't get much time in the game itself

Taz and Marnie's conversation is great, they bounce off really well
Also fun contrast with Marnie trying to contain her feelings while Taz is completely surface level with how he feels

And starting with Scorbunny, nice
Looking forward to more
 

glancesherlock

Consulting Detective
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Writer
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
32
Caught
Jun 10, 2019
Messages
747
Location
221B Baker Street
Nature
Lonely
Pronouns
she/her
Pokémon Type
Fairy, Ghost
Pokédex Entry
Just wants to stay home and solve crimes.
If you thought you could get away with only one comment from me today, then


Starting us off strong. There is so much characterization in that first paragraph, it hurts. And then it just keeps going, and dude. This is so refined??? I mentioned to you before how This is a Low felt like a return to form. This gives me the same vibe, but it's... not tighter, exactly, but This is a Low felt more raw (which was great); this is polished as hell. It's still super stylized and snarky, but the structure feels like a more realized version of itself. Taz comes off with a perfect blend of poor bastard and dickhead charm, and I dig how Belter is already reflecting him in personality. I already feel for Marnie. Poor girl has the weight of her hometown on her shoulders--a hometown that is going way, way downhill--and she's stuck with him as a fellow Spikemuth rep.



Always excited to see a new run from you, and I'm so happy Taz on the forums! Seriously can't wait to see how bad he fucks this up how well he does in the challenge.
 

JavierE64

Masks are so 2016!!! But don´t forget to wear one
Writer
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
310
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
747
Location
Perú
Nature
Modest
Pronouns
He/Him
Pokémon Type
Grass, Water
Pokédex Entry
The Master of both Light and Darkness; who loves the Violent and Dramatic, and the Fun and Adorable.
Taz is such an interesting protagonist, there's a lot of potential with his personality, his dynamic with Marnie, and even his backstory.
And with everything you've mentioned about this run beforehand, I'm very excited to see how this story unfolds with subsequent chapters.
 

Thirteenth

eternally crying over the botw trilogy
Writer
Pokédex No.
14
Caught
May 20, 2019
Messages
1,802
Nature
Quiet
Pronouns
She/Her
Pokémon Type
Fairy, Ice
Pokédex Entry
The reason she guides people all the way down to the mountain's base is that she wants them to hurry up and leave.
I'm only now noticing the name of the chapter, I appreciate it.

I am so so excited to see more of Taz and Marnie together, there's so much potential for what you can do with them and Spikemuth and all, and I love how evident that is just in this first chapter. The arguments and shenanigans these two could get up to, I love it.

Also Belter. I'm really glad you got to incorporate him more in the chapter after all, he's great ;w;
 

Dustox

pfp thanks to Bug <3
Screenshotter
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
10
Caught
May 15, 2019
Messages
2,416
Nature
Hasty
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He/Him
Pokémon Type
Bug, Poison


This runs already checks all my boxes, waters all my crops, vibes all my checks and I want you to know that. It bubbles just right with the trademark Garchomp wit and you know I'm always a sucker for the underdog story. There's so much potential in Spikemuth and I honestly can't think of a better person than you to put it into the spotlight.

I'm loving all the chars so far and I'm so ready to see how Taz and Belter interact with Galar's cast. That's just ripe with opportunities for bedlam (that's my SAT word of the day) and I'm here for it. Damn, I'm actually here for it lmao.

it’s as comforting as downing a shot of wasabi
As someone who's actually downed a shot of wasabi, can confirm. Would not do again.

Also pssst I love you and I love your run. ❤
 

Wwarborday

King Writing Clown 2020
Pokédex No.
153
Caught
Jun 28, 2019
Messages
227
Location
Gaytown
Nature
Sassy
Pronouns
He/him/his
Pokémon Type
Ground, Ice
Pokédex Entry
I'm Doing My Best
Behind her, the hills start looming higher and getting more jagged. Less rolling and more careening.
Really digging this bit of description.
“They’ve got me in the system now,” I whisper, sitting up now. “Doubt my battling all you like, but don’t you dare doubt my photo editing skills. I didn’t spend a day poring over Graphite and Squire for nothing.”
Taz. Buddy. Taz. Taz.

No,
If you can get Taz's full first name correct I'll give you praise and the satisfaction of a job well done.
Ah yes, your son, The Adventure Zone,

Anyway!! Very excited to see where this latest Gar's Sarcastic Asshole (tm) will take us. Please be nice to Marnie, she really is - as you said - too good for this.
 

Garish Garchomp

Friendly Neighborhood Landshark
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Jun 12, 2019
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565
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Sassy
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Pokédex Entry
he's ok i guess
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #10
@Aurea: Ironic, bc Belter's absolutely going to end up killing someone during this run.

That's the goal! Idk how well I'll keep it up, but at least it's off to a decent start, and at least the voice is my actual literal wheelhouse! That's exactly it though; when Spikemuth's as down and out as it is, you gotta cope somehow. It's two very different forms between these two, but there's def a lot of overlap as well. I'm dying to find out more about it all too! Or, you know, write it out and whatnot. Bc I totally have it all planned. Yep.

Oh yeah, I'm hoping to build on that for sure. It ain't hard to extrapolate what a long run in the League could do for Spikemuth, especially at a time when they could be squeezed out altogether. It definitely sets itself up as kind of a last stand deal, because there ain't exactly a pipeline of talent behind Marnie. Shame they only have her to carry the torch this year...

@localhoney: He comes from a line of Galar MCs who in some form or another exhibited wonderfully feral qualities and I'm glad I can unleash that on the forums. His dynamic with Marnie is just... it's something lol. Idek what exactly it'll be like yet, how it'll develop, even tho I have ideas, but I'm excited to get to it because there's so much potential. Dw tho I'm sure Kabu will be very tolerant!

Thanks! That was maybe my fave piece of description I wrote in 2020 tbh. Just held a lot of weight, I felt like.

@Uberle: He's got initiative! He'll go far in life with that go-getter attitude... maybe... hopefully...

Spikemuth is what this story's about, altho it's thru this protag lol. SwSh is such a gold mine for extrapolations and digging into things that are hinted at and all though, I'm not at all surprised that somehow my mind's just gone to these places to take advantage of it. And also to do Marnie some justice bc she's the best and I feel bad for putting her in this position but she'll be all right.

Yeeeee, I'm #SobbleSquad all the way and my first thought for Taz was a Grookey, but then I thought about a Scorbunny (and evos) who instead of being legit good at soccer was just a prick who loved snapping ankles lmao. Blessed lil psychopath ❤

@glancesherlock: ;w; If there ain't strong characterization then this run's just gonna fall apart, so I'm glad it delivered from the off. Funny how this is the polished one and that's the raw one though, given the MCs in each! The contrast between the Spikemuthers is super fun too; Marnie's got all the weight on her shoulders, all the pressure, all the pedigree... and Taz is the dude who's just wandered into the shot, accidentally photobombing everyone. That meme is fucking hilarious but it's also literally this run.

He'll only fuck up a lot dw.

@JavierE64: Thanks! The idea of just plucking some rando from Spikemuth always appealed to me, so I'm damn well going to town on it lol. Hopefully I can properly bring it all out!

@Thirteenth: Thank you, never a bad time to reference The Clash.

I'm excited too! I haven't been able to get her as involved as I'd like so far, but I'm damn well endeavoring to change that as a result. You're right in that it goes both ways too, either real spats or hella shenanigans. If nothing else, tho, Belter's presence will guarantee those. He's a blessed bab, in that he is a very, very cursed bab.

@Dustox: I would never dare hope to see the last of you.

That was def the goal, was just... a classic underdog story, except maybe you don't want to root for this underdog, but also he's kinda just a funny jerk with at least partially righteous anger instead of, you know, a narcissist with his head so far up his ass his breath's fogging up his ribcage. Hypothetically speaking.

Bedlam is a damn good way to describe it, though! I'm gonna be going back through chapters and trying to up the cuts a bit, make sure it's properly living up to potential instead of not filling the promises the intro made. Fingers crossed!

ilu2 ❤

@Wwarborday: Taz. Buddy. Yes. (Very good guess btw, I do enjoy the Brothers McElroy, altho I am unfortunately unfamiliar with TAZ specifically outside of a couple animatics that have come up on my YT feed).

Thank you! I damn well have a Type ig but damn if it isn't a fun one lmao. I will do my best to be nice to her but with Taz as my conduit who knows!

The Wild Area is fuckin’ massive.

I knew it was massive, of course. Everyone knows that.

It’s one thing to see it on a map, though, and another to stand at the southern point of it all, look out across the rolling hills, and not even have the slightest fucking clue as to where it might end. You sit on your couch and laugh at all the birds and blokes who won’t even make it out of this expanse, but it might as well be its own damn region. Shit, even Belter’s a bit overwhelmed at the start, and he’d go and try to kick Arceus in the face if you gave him a meeting upstairs.

Being one of the first people here’s a blessing and a curse, too. There’s nobody to hold you up, but nobody to mark your progress with. Nobody around to wipe the floor with your team, but nobody to ask where they got that ‘mon you’ve been itching to find.

Means I get to spend almost a week by some ghost-infested castle ruins, once I build up our numbers. Most of that’s either bonding or running practice drills I found on my flip phone, thanks to the League actually fucking putting wi-fi around the Wilds. Kid you not. By the time I die, they’ll have a skyscraping office park in the middle of these hills.

I shit away enough time out here that I spot company at the ruins one afternoon. Not like I’m dawdling, but that train ride’s the only time I’ll ever be at the vanguard of anything ‘cept a mosh pit. I’ve just emerged from a fuckin’ creepy little den, too, with that bloody savage espurr’s dead-eyed stare still scorched into my head. If it was just some rando who I didn’t trust to make it to Turffield, I’d skulk away and set up camp for the evening.

If there’s anyone I want to keep behind me, though, it’s blokes who look like this. I don’t know how someone this posh has such a god-awful white mess atop his head. Maybe he’s havin’ a hard time adjusting to the lack of a servant around to trim him like a fucking hedge whenever he wants. Maybe he just doesn’t give a shit to begin with.

“Hey! C’mon, bruv, you can’t be doing that around these parts! Bloody ghosts’ll have you in a second!”

Or maybe he was never all that posh to begin with.

I glance down at either side of me. Minnow’s staring straight ahead and fuming, but he always is. Belter’s in the same boat as me, though, I can just tell. He doesn’t like the look of this guy any more than I do. Not just that hair, but that tone of voice, that smarm, that ego. And that robe, too… swear that logo looks a lot like the Macro—

Oh, shit.

This is Rose’s kid, innit?

Belter looks up at me, awaiting my judgment. I give him a cheeky little grin, and that’s all he needs. Check that, he doesn’t need the grin, he just needs me not to tell him no.

“Yes, boy. Give me a minute, lemme see what he’s up to.”

We slink behind a crumbled wall without being spotted. A random duskull joins us, his one red eye swaying like a pendulum. I eye him up warily, but most of these lil guys hardly give a shit about me. Prolly ‘cos there’s way easier targets to fuck with.

The four of us peek out to watch Rose’s endorsee recall one of his pokemon in a fit, before the ghosts wail on ‘em further I bet. It leaves him and the hatenna he’s holding, and I’d bet the lass is the reason he looks fuckin’ constipated, trying to rein himself in so he doesn’t piss off his own ‘mon. Distracted him enough that he didn’t spot me approaching.

Then he pulls out another pokeball. Turns out he’s staring down a little gothita. Rare one, that. He’s damn well trying not to blow his only shot today at nabbing the psychic.

Y’know what, though? He’s already got a psychic on his team. And if he can’t predict the fuckin’ future and see us coming, then he doesn’t deserve another. I had all the time in the world to pick a team out here, he should’ve beelined it here if he cared enough about these shits. Then again, literally the first ‘mon I saw after that bloody onix that tried to kill Belter and I? Fuckin’ beaut of a stunky who was just as happy to see me too. Sometimes you just get lucky.

I duck back behind the rubble, capturing the attentions of both my team members I have out. “Right, here’s the plan. Minnow.” The corphish perks up, looking ready to get stuck in. Like most of the wilds around here, he’s flippin’ aggro. I just assumed that when kids came back to Spikemuth bitching all about the Wilds, saying it’s even worse now than back in the Jimmy Armstrong days, it was because they sucked. Shit, they do suck. We ain’t had anyone even beat Kabu in years. But they’ve got a point about this place, ‘cos a lot of these buggers are out for blood. Minnow’s top of that list for sure.

I lead him around the side of this wall so he can spot his target. I point her out, then make finger guns at her. “See the gothita there, yeah? Fire some bubble beams at her, but don’t knock her out. Don't. Seriously. Plenty of time to do that later.”

Minnow puts on a brave little frown, and it looks almost as dumb as his blank-ass resting face. Gods, I love this bugger already.

I turn to Belter, who’s tapping his foot like a thrash metal drummer. “You, mate, go for the trainer himself. Take that muppet’s legs out from under him the second his bubbles hit, right? Keep him distracted, and watch for that hat of his.”

He nods, Minnow nods, the duskull floats away, and I brandish one of the free pokeballs I snagged at the starter-picking ceremony before I bolted north.

“Let’s fuck his day up,” I conclude, sneaking to the other side of the crumbled wall. Belter stays where we were, staring down Rose’s kid with murder in his eyes. Minnow scuttles over with me, gives me an awkward salute with one of those huge-ass pincers of his, and keeps on going, little legs whirring as he ducks into the taller grass for cover.

I lose sight of him pretty quick, and worry creeps in. I just caught the fuck, is he actually gonna listen? Can he even see his target from the deep stuff? Am I about to just piss off the guy who might send me packing before I reach Motostoke?

My corphish emerges down the way, claws glowing sky blue. He takes dead aim at the shivering little gothita, who’s distracted by the posh prick prepping his throwing shoulder with bloody arm circles.

Minnow absolutely blasts her to hell.

The mophead’s not even got the time to whip his head around and find the culprit before Belter darts in with the most beautiful slide tackle since Tommy Barlow snapped the ankle of East Hamm’s striker clear in half. This isn’t a fracture here, I don’t think, but it ain’t for a lack of trying. Guy still crumples to the ground in a yowling heap, practically flinging his hatenna away as he clutches his shin.

That’s my cue. I bolt out from cover, catching my starter’s eye and giving him the widest fuckin’ smirk. As I ready my throw, he starts running circles around the trainer. Bloke starts flailing around, scrambling for a pokeball or summat. Like he can catch Belter. Idiot.

Minnow fires off a few more bubbles for good measure, leaving the gothita flat on her back. It’s the easiest throw of my life, and the easiest catch too. Only rocks once, it was that sure a thing. I scoop up Minnow like a rugby ball and motion to Belter as I take off, only stumbling to pick up the new catch. He lowers his shoulder and rams Rose’s kid just to have him looking the other way, and ‘cos he’s nothing if not blatant in his violence. Catches up to me with ease too.

When I glance behind me one last time, his hatenna is blocking his view of me, making sure her trainer’s not dead by my hand. Absolutely fuckin’ pristine, this shithousing.

Only when we’re out of the ruins do I slow, putting Minnow back down too. I ain’t out of shape, but I’m not about to run halfway across the wilds to get away from some mug who probably didn’t even see me.

Belter’s first thought is to point to my pocket, where I’ve real obviously shoved the downsized pokeball holding the gothita. Not hard to figure out what he’s asking.

“Nah, nah,” I say, only grinning when I’m done panting and hacking up a lung. “I’m just gonna release her. Lookit me. A gothita? C’mon Belt.”

I can’t read either of their expressions. I dunno if they get it all, but I think they appreciated the opportunity to fuck with someone and blow ‘em up. I dunno. They’ll figure it out with the gothita anyway.

“Getting late, though. Not gonna go back to those ruins at this hour. I’ll release her tomorrow and we can get on our way. Train you lot up before we get to the city, see if we can’t evolve your fluffy ass too.”

That gets Belter on my side, at least, and Minnow’s always had a grudging respect for me at minimum after we nabbed him. I sure as hell ain’t got the best team, or the biggest, but y’know what? I have a bloody team. That in and of itself is fuckin’ mad.

Thanks again for your support! I know this is anywhere from a return to form to Gar Typecasting Himself, but it really is damn fun to write this, especially as a contrast to sunshiney cyber/solarpunk Alola on the other end. Please nag me to write either one when you get the chance, bc this year's all about building proper creative habits and being able to handle two long-running stories at once (I say long-running, they should only get to the 30s or smth).

Also lol fuck Bede.

Chapter title is just some nice soothing hardcore, from one of the best albums of 2020.
 

Moon

Conqueror of the Celadon Gym
Pokédex No.
3995
Caught
Mar 9, 2021
Messages
37
Nature
Relaxed
Pronouns
They, Them
Pokémon Type
Ghost, Ice
Pokédex Entry
Because they're the two rarest types, they're the rarest pokemon. Yes, that's logical. No, there aren't other Ghost/Ice types. Froslass doesn't exist.
Huh.
This is interesting.
And good.
 

SayleeK

Johto League Champion
Writer
Screenshotter
Pokédex No.
260
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
1,187
Location
Scrivener
Nature
Careful
Pronouns
She/her
Pokémon Type
Fire, Fairy
Pokédex Entry
Between long periods of dormant slumber, this writer rises again for periods of activity that leave piles of dead fictional Pokemon in their wake
Oh damn I remember hearing you talking this run up before, but I guessed I missed the first chapter going up somehow??? This is cracking, though. Taz is the really fun type of asshole to read, I'm laughing at him landing two noticeably aggro Pokemon, and then taking Bede the fuck out is just :chef_kiss:

Fucking loving it and looking forward to more :D
 

localhoney

the smooth jazz of bastards
Writer
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
2002
Caught
May 17, 2020
Messages
280
Location
Miami, FL
Nature
Adamant
Pronouns
he/him
Pokémon Type
Electric, Poison
I could've fucking sworn on everything I commented on this the first time I read it, which was like, few days after you dropped it. Appears that it is not the case so I must rectify this error.

And lemme tell ya, when I saw this
This is Rose’s kid, innit?
I practically jumped out of my seat. For some reason people love Bede. Not me. Fuck Bede, all day and twice on Sunday. I expected something more hands-on, like just pushing him and his mophead into the lake, but Taz is nothing if not a creative artiste.

The moment of hesitation while his Corphish (fucking GREAT addition to the squad) waddles into tall grass though is intriguing, because it means that by all accounts, Taz might... have a mind? And thinks things through? Inconceivable...

And I'm fucking cackling at him shithousing [sic] Bede, only to release the Gothita he wanted to catch. Impeccable, flawless, endearing. Taz is a national treasure.
 

Aurea

Moderator
Moderator
🎇Contributor
Writer
Pokédex No.
25
Caught
Jun 9, 2019
Messages
738
Location
Sinnoh Region
Nature
Sassy
Pronouns
She/Her
Pokémon Type
Psychic, Steel
Ooh, maybe it was a throwaway line but I really liked that Taz mentioned how easy it is to laugh at people who never make it past the Wild Area when it's on tv, but that he kinda gets it now in-person? Being dumped in the wilderness with nothing but a flip phone (seriously Taz???) and some spotty wifi to deal with a ton of aggro Pokemon doesn't sound like it's for the faint of heart.

But then, Bede's here. I can't tell you how much I appreciate seeing you go from writing a run about him to having your next protag dunk on him in the second chapter. xD I was honestly surprised Taz went to the trouble to catch the Gothita since it didn't seem on-brand, but it makes sense he plans to release her lol. He also made it pretty clear, by the lengths he went to to not be seen by Bede, that he's not looking to cause drama so much as he is chaos. And I can appreciate that about Taz, too. ;w;
 

Garish Garchomp

Friendly Neighborhood Landshark
Administrator
Moderator
🌱Featurer
Writer
Pokédex No.
43
Caught
Jun 12, 2019
Messages
565
Nature
Sassy
Pronouns
He/Him
Pokémon Type
Dragon, Psychic
Pokédex Entry
he's ok i guess
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #15
@Moon: Thank you!

@SayleeK: Thanks so much! That's kinda the goal with him, is that he's just fun to follow. He's a piece of work and a chaotic neutral lil shit who literally legally should not be here, but he is and he's making the most of it for however long he's got.

Wrt him landing two aggro 'mons, it's something I'll explore later but for all Taz's inexperience he seems to know what he's looking for in his team, and how he wants to go about things. And hey, if they're as morally onerous as he is, all the better!

@localhoney: Okay well first off, you're wrong, Bede is a shit but I love that tbh. He's not like my fave charry in the game or anything, but he's a fun rival and was obv. ripe for the picking personally for a lil story.

Anyways, I'm glad it worked out! Taz is a piece of shit, but he is creative about it. Sometimes he does things with purpose, such as bullying Bede and setting him back a day or two. It is really funny though to have this piece of shit suddenly be strategic instead of pure unbridled chaos, it's like... wtf, dimensions? He's just a really unique and fun guy to write... not a fun guy in the Kawhi way tho. Nobody can be that fun.

@Aurea: Don't judge him! He didn't expect to get this far! And also it's not like he's gonna have the newest iPhone smh

Ngl, it was such a great turnaround to just immediately flip the bird at Bede. Couldn't miss that opportunity. But yeah, it was like... there's a contrast between him literally just being a piece of shit but also kinda thinking about the best way to be a piece of shit? Someone who can zero in and figure out where the pressure points are is kinda terrifying tbh. He'll have plenty more opportunity to pull that kinda stuff.

My uni is ugly as sin.

The League logo’s plastered all over, and just as prevalent are actual fuckin’ brands that got on their knees in front of Rose to get a sticker slapped onto this kit. The collar is a nice touch this year, I’ll say that. Adds a bit of old-school class. But this kit’s somehow plain as hell and far too much at the same time. I’ve long accepted that my Seasiders will have some sketchy betting site on their kits ’til the end of days, but I ain’t even repping that kind of degenerate behavior. Instead of cashing out, I’m selling out.

I brush a bang out of my face as I look around the locker room here at The Meadows. A few other blokes are in the same boat as me, just taking in the history of this place. It’s an institution, standing for almost a century and a half. Even more stark compared to all the brand new stadiums that shine so bright it’d make Deoxys’ eyes bleed. The only thing thicker than the stacks of cash used to pay for those grounds is the blood on all that money.

But far too many battles to count have been held here, and far too many big footy matches as well. I’ve played in front of a decent crowd across the bay at St. Simon’s Park, but that’s nothing compared to this place. They say the atmosphere here’s like no other, that it turns the tides harder than Kyogre himself, and the locals pride themselves on that whirlwind effect.

They’re fuckin’ insufferable about it, but they aren’t wrong.

Speaking of insufferable, some nonce in shades (indoors!) waltzes right over and tells me to tuck my shirt in. I shove the front half down my pants. He just stands there, probably rolls his eyes, waiting. I shrug and stare back at my own reflection in his wraparounds. Don’t bloody care if it holds up the entire ceremony. Might as well start my heel turn early.

...is it even a heel turn if I’m from Spikemuth? We’re born heels.

Shades shakes his head and skulks off to harass someone else. Music’s blaring out on the pitch in the meantime. Some local kid with a guitar and the ability to lip-sync. Fuckin’ minging, honestly. Thankfully, another kind league staffer starts yelling at us, saying we’re on in ten, get our shit straight, tuck our shirts in, start lining up. It almost drowns out the emotionally stunted little knob outside pandering to every teenage girl in Galar.

It’s only guys in this locker room, so I won’t see Marnie until I’m just about trodding on the hallowed grass of The Meadows like I’d always dreamed. But as I find my spot behind all the Circhester pricks sneaking glances at me, I get to confirm what I already suspected: Callum didn’t make it. Dunno if an onix slapped him into the afterlife or if he just threw in the towel to try and shag some girl, but he ain’t here. For all anyone knows, Marnie and I are the two Spikemuth reps this year.

I bloody well might be in the clear after all.

I am a forgery god.

We’re ushered into the tunnel like lambs to the slaughter. Don’t matter if you’re a chav or posh as Rose’s asshole, you’re dragging your feet and finding a real nice resentment for authority today. Ahead, the pitch is being cleared up for us, with the stage for that little shit already disassembled and being wheeled off. There’s a lull in the atmosphere, those in the stands checking their phones or bantering with friends.

The girls line up beside us a minute later, in notably fewer numbers. Not exactly shocking, that. Not even in this day and age. ‘Least I know one’s gonna go far this year, unlike the last couple.

As soon as the staff members position themselves up and down the lines, any of us who’re even a little hidden from them untuck our shirts. Shit, someone who’s right next to one of those prats must do it too, ‘cos he gets chewed the fuck out.

I glance behind me at the few Hammerlocke blokes. Raihan always has a motley crew, and it ain’t hard to tell them apart from the ones who got in through some suit tossing a paper airplane from his ivory tower. One of the camwhore crew, head buzzed and mind possibly blazed, looks like he’s gotten away with a pin on his jersey from a band I recognize.

“Ladies and gentlemen, would you now give your greetings to this year’s Carlson Premier Pokemon League challengers!”

Just from the tunnel, I take in the crowd fucking up The Meadows. Foundation starts shaking around me and everything. It’s absolutely nuts, not at all what I figured. It’s just the bloody opening ceremony! The only fighting to be had today’s probably from two hooligans in the upper deck, and security’ll bash their chins on the stairs before they can say “Sponsored by Macro Cosmos.”

When I finally step onto the pitch, I can see right clearly that this place is packed. Even the nosebleeds only have a few empty seats here and there, and I’m willing to bet half of those are idiots stuck in the john. Probably still hurling ‘cos of that singer.

The electricity that runs through The Meadows charges me up, though. I was expecting a goddamn snooze, and instead I’m standing in the midst of a sonic storm. I’ve helped create one before, with 10,000 other blokes heckling those Circhester City twats. This is five times that.

We all gather at the center of the pitch while League fucks run around like they’re headless, separating us all out by our hometowns and counties for the twelfth time today. It probably looks organized from the stands, but down here it’s just mad. All the blokes from Motostoke are full-on shoving each other for position. I’m sure the atmosphere ain’t helping to cool that down.

The announcer doesn’t even wait for us to finish sorting ourselves before booming out introductions. “Starting from the south, give it up for Avonshire’s competitors!”

I peer way down the line at the two greeting a very warm crowd. One’s a lass just looking awed to be here, and the other… well, there was never a universe where the champ’s little brother wasn’t going to be buzzing like a midge on speed. The crowd belts out their support for both of them, all the bandwagoners outing themselves right off the top.

The attention shifts over to the next county north, and that’s when it really dawns on me. They’re going through everyone. Every city and county represented here’ll be introduced to the world, like the hometown heroes are now to a roar that nearly knocks me out. They’ll be subject to this raucous crowd of transplants, tourists, families, and Motostoke pricks, whether it’s glory hunters cheering on the champ’s latest protégés or the hometown fans booing the ever-loving shit out of Hammerlocke’s representatives.

Each group down the line gets golf claps and whoops at minimum. Some, like the Turffield lot that are seen as the little brothers around here, get more than that.

I glance over at Marnie. She knows what’s coming just as well as I do, but only one of us looks enthused about it.

The announcer calls on Circhester to represent now. They do, modestly enough. Some group in the upper deck goes mad, with a dozen flags and a hundred scarves emerging from nowhere. At least half the trainers from that frozen wasteland look starstruck by the show of support. They won’t last long like that.

“Next…”

The crowd’s already starting to bay and howl like hungry boltunds.

“A warm Motostoke welcome to this year’s duo from Spikemuth!”

Cheeky git. He knows exactly what kind of welcome we get. Half the stadium’s apathetic at best, the other’s amped as hell to boo our guts.

Marnie matches the first folk, hardly budging an inch.

I throw both hands out wide, urging them on, soaking in the noise I spent years dreaming about. It grows even louder, and I don’t just hear it. I feel it. Might be targeted by more swears in these few seconds than the rest of the year combined, but that’s a tight race. Can’t even make one out over the swell of this absolute sheet of hatred pouring down on me anyway. I tell you one thing that’s clear though: the leer Rose himself gives me.

It’s all pretty fuckin’ great.

The announcer on the PA ushers the crowd back into their polite little shells to proceed onwards. I turn to Marnie as he does.

“Bloody hell, I’ll remember that for a while,” I say, still feeling sparks crackling under my skin. “Imagine what that’d be like up in Wyndon.”

That bored facade of hers cracks just for a split second. It’s the kind of blazing look Piers only gets when he’s on stage, but I suppose this is Marnie’s kind of stage.

“You won’t have to. If you get a ticket to watch me, anyway.”

I scoff, but flash her a real wide grin.

“You'll hear me heckling those gammon all the way from the nosebleeds, don’t worry about that.”

Hey, it's alive.

Ngl, I kinda jumped into this run a lil early. I haven't really written much since posting, and a huge part of that was that, as blursed as Taz is, he just wasn't clicking. He didn't have depth, which I realize is kinda funny to say considering who he is. That's now changed, though, and while I haven't figured out everything yet, I at least have a lot more to work off of with him. That starts in the next few chapters just with some hints and re-orienting, but I'm gonna try to take my time and not rush things.

That said, I'm hoping to put up a new chapter real soon to make up for lost time, and because this one is babey. See you soon!

Chapter title is from this Franz Ferdinand song, bc I'm not limiting names to punk only! And also, like, come on. This was always going to get used.
 

SayleeK

Johto League Champion
Writer
Screenshotter
Pokédex No.
260
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
1,187
Location
Scrivener
Nature
Careful
Pronouns
She/her
Pokémon Type
Fire, Fairy
Pokédex Entry
Between long periods of dormant slumber, this writer rises again for periods of activity that leave piles of dead fictional Pokemon in their wake
When he started “my uni is ugly as sin” I was like “this jackass got into university???” for like three full paragraphs before I realized you were talking about Taz’ kit XD

Capitalism, capitalism everywhere

Taz pre-empts me when I’m like “heel turn? When was he a face?” XD

Taz has a judgemental description for literally every single person he ever meets and they’re all great. “the ones who got in through some suit tossing a paper airplane from his ivory tower” is fuckin’ poetry.

Taz absolutely soaking in the boos like “I am powered by spite and you are only making me stronger” is legendary. A shitheel and proud, that boy ✊
 

localhoney

the smooth jazz of bastards
Writer
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
2002
Caught
May 17, 2020
Messages
280
Location
Miami, FL
Nature
Adamant
Pronouns
he/him
Pokémon Type
Electric, Poison
You really captured the energy of a sports stadium to a fuckin tee, but that's to be expected haha. Even the part where Taz has to acknowledge that the stadium's fans tend to sway games even if it's a pain for his own squad def reminded me of a couple arenas.

I especially liked the contrast between Marnie and Taz when the crowd was booing them to hell. Marnie ofc is trying to lift up Spikemuth so she just has to push that shit aside, but Taz is literally here for that, like it's his raison d'être.

Take your time bringing the bastard to life though; even pricks like him have depths to really pull onto the page. Excited to see what you do with it~
 

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