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Alpha to Omega : A Rising Ruby Alphabet-locke : Chapter 26 - Water's in order if you wanna be SHIT (Wallace Gym Battle)

Extravanganza Accordian Demo
S

Sora the Blue man

Guest
This is pretty great,and as I said,Semi Jerk,you've been to Reborn,he only has killed one Person,and Sierra is cool,especially since she can fly
 

Uberle

Legends done, back to writing
Writer
Screenshotter
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
209
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
1,636
Nature
Lax
Pronouns
he/him
Pokémon Type
  1. Fire
Pokédex Entry
Stays in the distortion dimension where no one bothers him
Add mind control to what you're immune to
Along with water pressure, the vacuum of space, and train explosions.
And if the new Reborn intro is anything to go by being thrown from said exploding train.

It's nice to have an easy admin for once.
And have mons with type advantage.
*cough*May*cough*Wailmer*cough*

This always bothered me in Emerald
Maxie took the Blue Orb, and Archie took the Red.
Despite the fact that the colors didn't match, they thought it would control their pokemon.
I blame Maxie as he was the first one there and thought "Oh yeah, the Continental pokemon is totally controlled by the BLUE ORB, not the ocean god."
Glad to see Maxie took art class this time around.

And now we have 2 Megas.
Death Chicken and Graceful Death
 

wedward45

The thinking chaotic neutral
Pokédex No.
537
Caught
Jul 18, 2019
Messages
473
Location
The Realm of Discord
Nature
Impish
Pronouns
He/Him
Pokémon Type
  1. Dragon
  2. Fairy
Pokédex Entry
Hates conflict and negativity. Snarks too much for its own good.
"It's a sad thought that people would only show up at your funeral to make sure you were dead."
-Terry Pratchett
 
OP
Derogatory Trainer

Derogatory Trainer

The hero you don't need but you're getting anyway.
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
315
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
510
Nature
Adamant
Pokémon Type
  1. ???
Pokédex Entry
The most humble and modest braggart you will ever meet.
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AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA-

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...

...

...


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@SoratheBlueman - Oh right. You aren't including the people in Reborn that he killed. I suppose he seems alright then.
Yeah..."Fly"...

@Uberle - It'll all make sense when they reveal what I am in Rejuvenation. I promise...maybe...
Don't remind me about that fucking whale please. So many lives could have been saved.
I think it's because they wanted control over each one and the opposite orb calms the box legendary down somewhat?
I dunno. It's been a long time since I played Emerald.
You mean Super Saiyan Xena and Softy Snug 'n Hug, right?

@wedward45 - Sean is a fairly sad character behind all his violence and arrogance.
He just wants someone to love him.
1536259072.9156-smiley.gif

I should really read some of his books.
@sosobean - Was I gone somewhere? It's probably going to die if I'm honest.
Donate to my Patreon and we'll see

@YingYang9705 - I don't have any idea what you're talking about.
1536259082.0929-smiley.gif

Yeah they're cousins.
It's inoffensive enough to become canon.

@pikafan96 - It's the long nose I think. Creeps people out.
SO FLUFFY I'M GONNA DIE!



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So it turns out the wings on Mega-Absol's back are completely fake.

They're just bits of fur that LOOK like wings.

If only I had some sort of device to tell me these thing beforehand...

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"Because we need to move this Magma plot along, Sean's already got 6 badges, you know"

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Well it's not like there's any other news team in the region.

If you dopes don't interview him, no-one will.

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Also I haven't seen those humiliating battles we've had on T.V anywhere...

You wouldn't be hiding them from the public now, would you?

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Guess that's my cue...

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...

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Thanks.

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Oh fuck off.

Legendary Pokemon never go extinct.

They're always just napping somewhere hard to reach like the lazy fucks they are.

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"It's your conscience"

"Lend me your submarine for a bit, k?"

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Oh yeah.

Such pride.

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And of course, Maxie being Maxie, he ruins his evil speech by laughing like a doofus.

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Oh my god are you all fucking braindead?

He is STEALING the magic submarine you all came to see!

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Yes. And it sounded like someone shouting exactly what they were doing as well.

Were you not listening?

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Any second nooowwww...

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WELL GOSH AND GOLLY GEE! WE BETTER GET OVER THERE, LICKITTY SPLIT!

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WHAAAAA???!!! WHAT MAKES YOU SAY THAT??!?

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Right behind you, Stern!

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Riiiight behind you...



















Sean then remembered he has to stop Team Magma from evaporating the ocean and grudgingly went to the Harbour























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Man...this is literally the biggest building I've been in.

Well in Hoenn anyway.

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And yet you still didn't invest in any personal security.

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Hey Maxie.

We seem to be running into each other a lot lately.

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Yep. It was very impressive I managed to actually land in Slateport on a flightless dog/cat thing.

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S-santa?

I thought Hoenn Santa was Wattson!

Could my calculations have been wrong?

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...Well...can either you or Chubbitha over there actually swim?

Because it seems like Team Magma is really just a radical support group for people with hydrophobia.

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Ironic how you have to go below the ocean to propel humanity to its ultimate height.

You sure you aren't supposed to go to Sky Pillar or something?

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Despite the fact that the only reason my "struggle" keeps getting prolonged is because you keep running away from me?

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Man at least Team Meteor had the common sense not to tell me where their bases were.

Do you actually want to do this Maxie or is this just a cry for help?

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Guess we're fighting that fucking Darmatian again...

God I hate that fucking thing.

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Grunts, where?

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...

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Wow I'm actually insulted you thought these two could buy time.

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Stern! YOU TRAITOR!

Well that's what it looks like anyway.

Good job on that text box placement, Nintendo.

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No.

Stop.

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Come back.

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Well I tried.

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...

You may laugh at him audience.

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You may laugh at his recklessness.



















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You probably should take care of him.

Losing about 3 foot instantly can't be good for his...well...his everything.

Oh wait. You want to fight me?

Well su-

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Whoops.

I blinked.

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Because even the best loser is still a loser.

That's almost deep.

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Oh hey. Your spine popped back up!

Good for you, pal.

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Oh.

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I'm very sorry.

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You thought you were leaving?









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Alright steady on there, Todd Howard.

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...They...explained that to us...

They're going to modify it.

Are you actually deaf? I'm starting to wonder...

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They ARE!

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Ugh.

I'm starting to wince every time someone actually says that.

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Because that's who people are going to blame after Armageddon.

The guy who built a boat that got stolen.

Sure.

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"No chance alone"

That implies you'd actually come along if I asked.

Which I'm very skeptical about.

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You can ask. Sure.

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It'd save me going the long way at least...

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Why do I feel you care more about your sub than the fate of the world?

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In what boat?

And I'd at least like to get some reading material for the long journ-

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-ey.

H-how the fuck did we get here so fast?

THERE WASN'T EVEN A TRANSITION!!!

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Don't worry, Stern.

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I know just where to look...

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EAT FRESH!

...

Maybe I should stop Nuzlocking...
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Changing the overpowered Pokemon Name Team for...

Species!

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So Dragon and Disaster are staying while the new members are...

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Bird, Clearwing, Hypnosis and Moonlight!
Now that that's sorted I'm going to end this little episode here.

Because I'm hungover.

Goodnight.



 
S

Sora the Blue man

Guest
So Hoenn has a Subway?Huh,must be a nice place,also get ready to fight the Wonder Twins pretty soon before you can fight Maxie
 

Uberle

Legends done, back to writing
Writer
Screenshotter
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
209
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
1,636
Nature
Lax
Pronouns
he/him
Pokémon Type
  1. Fire
Pokédex Entry
Stays in the distortion dimension where no one bothers him
3 updates so soon after each other!
Early Christmas!

*watches intro*
.........
Nailed it

If Maxie never said anything he probably would've revived Groudon before anyone realized that's what he was doing
But this is a Pokemon game so all the bad guys loudly announce what they're planning and where they're going

Also remember to give the Yanma Ancient Power at 33 (if it's not there already)
That's always been a weird condition for evolution.
I think there are 2 others mon that need Ancient Power to evolve, being Piloswine into Mamoswine and Tangela in Tangrowth.
Like some moves I can get, Bonsly knowing Mimic to evolve into Sudowoodo and Aipom knowing Double Hit to evolve into Ambipom
But Ancient Power?
What's the logic behind that, if any?
 

wedward45

The thinking chaotic neutral
Pokédex No.
537
Caught
Jul 18, 2019
Messages
473
Location
The Realm of Discord
Nature
Impish
Pronouns
He/Him
Pokémon Type
  1. Dragon
  2. Fairy
Pokédex Entry
Hates conflict and negativity. Snarks too much for its own good.
Yes, you should read Terry Pratchett's books. That man was one of the greatest writers ever. I'd start with either Mort or Guards Guards (technically, the Color of Magic was the first one, but it had a ton of early installment weirdness).
 
T

Turtleboi

Guest
Back in Reborn you defeated the Magma Gang, so I suppose it makes sense that you're fighting their inspiration.
 
OP
Derogatory Trainer

Derogatory Trainer

The hero you don't need but you're getting anyway.
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
315
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
510
Nature
Adamant
Pokémon Type
  1. ???
Pokédex Entry
The most humble and modest braggart you will ever meet.
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...

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...

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...

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Yes. This is all I've been doing in the last 5 months.

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...

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...

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What, you want me to apologise for that?

That ain't me bros.

That ain't me.

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Sir, will you please leave already?

I'LL LEAVE WHEN I GET MY GOD DAMN FOOT-LONG, NURSE JOY!

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So I won't bother
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Alright then, my cute little readers.

Let's get this shit show running.

No more stops. No more month long breaks.

WE. ARE. FINISHING. THIS.

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What's that? You want me to take another 6 months off?

Reborn is cancelled forever?

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No.

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It's very hard to be mean to you, May.

Your smile literally gives me hope for a better life.

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How did I stay away from you for so long?

I'd pretty much be content just watching you react to things.

Say...there's an idea...all I need is a platform to braodcast it on...

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May Reacts to...

That's what we'll call it.

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Hmm?

Sorry you've been talking this whole time and I've rudely been ignoring you.

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Oh shit. Now she's pouting.

What did I do to cause this and how can I keep doing it?

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Is that a fucking air pu-

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OH GOD MY LUNGS!

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The final "accidental" ass shot of the game, my friends.

Take it all in.

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A bird, eh? Surprising...

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Is what I would say if we didn't start every duel after Oldale the same way.

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With that fucking Swellow.

Go ahead and Mega Evolve, Xena.

I know you want to.

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...

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Jesus. Why does your personality do a complete 180 when I Mega Evolve you?

I'll have to ask someone about that later...

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Uh oh. My Facade senses are tingling...

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One of my many lesser powe-

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Ooohhhh...

Well it's apparently useless because Swellow is just using Guts to boost its attack.

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EVERY GOD DAMN FIGHT MAY!

LEARN SOMETHING ELSE!

...

USE FEATHERDANCE, XENA.

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...

Nobody say anything.

I'm not a hypocrite.

A liar, a drunk, a cheat, a hypocrite and a part-time Nuzlocker.

But never a communist.

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Oh hey. Guess my senses are right.

Just a turn late.

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Imagine how fucked Spider-Man would be if his senses were "late"

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Let's end this, Xena.

I grow tired of life.

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You do know that Brave Bird/Facade Combo had you in the red right?

Even after two Feather Dances?

Maginally is being a little harsh, don'tcha think?

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Oh wow. I didn't know Mega-Evolution could Mega-evolve your wit!

Now git in the ball.

Cause it's time for Noooooo-

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-xxxxxxxxxxxx...

Shit.

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Go Dragon!

Odin or whatever!

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You would use lightning to kill the mighty Zeus?!

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WHAT FOLLY!

Now to follow up with a...

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Oh.

Nevermind! She slipped on a banana peel.

...

Another heroic victory for Sean and the gang.

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Huh.

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Every time.

Seriously May. Switch it up a little. We've done this dance like 4 times already.

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Well the Protect was a neat little twist to this routine I gue-

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Hang on.

Is it...still alive?

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OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH NNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN-

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-YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Prepare to die edition, Wailord!

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And now finish it off with your signature move!

THE BUTT BUSTE-

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Must be humiliating. Losing to something a fraction of your size over and over again...

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Speaking of humiliating...

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That was...thoughtful.

Incredibly sad...but thoughtful.

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Unlike me sending out a Dark type to fight a Fairy. That was just stupid.

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I mean, it WORKED but still...not up to my usual standards.

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Although you can all probably guessed I've phoned it in at this point.

It's not like May can actually challenge m-

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Huh. That's earlier than usual.

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But I'm not that worried.

I don't even like Toucher.

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I...why Earthquake of all moves?

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Does Mega-Chicken only know fighting moves and Earthquake?

Let's test that theory.

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Yep.

Dammit May! You have a double typed Pokemon! At least take advantage of that.

Zeus, use Fly. Let's see if sh-

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Yep.

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Well...it started decent?

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Yes you won.

And it's probably just a tear in space and time or some such nonsense.

...

Sinnoh confirmed.

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Although considering how shit ORAS is I'm not sure I want Sinnoh to be confirmed...

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I...don't remember that battle being as destructive to our surroundings as this one.

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Can't exactly get this kind of collateral damage from a Tackle fight...

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I...guess? Vinnie died like 3 chapters later so I don't think the Exp actually mattered in the long run...

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Well I know what I'd think but I'd probably say something positive to make you happy.

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1536259069.3728-smiley.gif


So cute!

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Oh yeah? Back to your little roots?

Man...seems like years since I've been there.

Which is true. But not from a gameplay standpoint. I played this for like a week almost 2 years ago and this run STILL isn't finished.

I'm such a slacker.

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Huh?

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THE FUCKING FRIENDSHIP CONSUMING...

YOU CAN'T HAVE HER METEORITE! MAY IS MINE!

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It's better to think that way, dear.

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NO!!

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Hahaha...I guess that is pretty typical of me...

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Ah that never-ending quest...that I never complete because it's a total waste of time.

You can't even print the certificate anymore!

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Oh you're still here?

Get outta here already!

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I loooooovvveeeee yooooouuuu




















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Sigh...why am I so bad at expressing my true feelings?

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Oh right. I'm not a wuss.

STOIC AND STERN!

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HOW EVERY MAN SHOULD BE!

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Awwww...look at the cute little Mawill~

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Welp.

Now my ears are bleeding.

I regret fawning over this blue obese mouse.

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Besides the cutest Pokemon is Audino anyway.

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I just want one to hug. It doesn't need to be good at battling at all.

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Hello?

"Essentials for Unbeatable Trainers"?

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I'm home.

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Oh fuck.

Props to Drayno for this. Every Pokemon game should have this.

Instead of fucking relying on the 5% chance of the Pokemon holding the item.

*COUGHREBORNCOUGHREJUVENATIONCOUGH*

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Might as well check if my losers can remember any good moves.

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Hm...these TMs are okay.

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But the ones upstairs are muuuuch more useful.

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God damn it. I shouldn't have bought those wimpy defense moves.

A good offense is the best defense!

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Or was that the other way around?

Or was the phrase specifically created that way so they could be swapped depending on the situation?

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What the fuck is going on here?

I don't remember this ever happening before...

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Oh fuuuuck. Now I remember! This thing almost never happened in Ruby and Sapphire!

I've only seen it once before.

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And didn't care because they're only selling decroative shite.

Which was no use to me and my level 100 Swampert.

I wonder how he's been all these years later...

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Pffft...what awful luck.

That's like a hydrophobic person getting the ability to breathe underwate-

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Hey hang on!

Why would Viridian be afraid of heights?

The fear of heights stems from the fear of falling right?

She's got the one power that would negate any danger! What a fucking baby!

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...

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...

I can feel the acrophobic power flow into me...

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Seriously though.

Fuck Viridian. God damn crybaby.

















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Well that's the department store down.

Guess I'd better check the museum next.

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...

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...their imagination, huh?

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Wonder if Cain or Radmous painted this?

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Well only one thing to do...

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Ahhh...perfect.

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Well the museum was fucking boring.

Shocker, I know.

Guess I'll...

Actually why the fuck am I bothering? You all know what Lilycove fucking looks like.

I'm just going to fucking catch something and end this episode.

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...

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I feel like this scene would make sense if I was playing Sapphire, not Ruby.

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Anyway...

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PFFTAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!

Look at it's fucking face! OH god it's so doofy looking.

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Can you imagine waking up and looking like that?

Criminy...

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*Pokeball noise*

*To me it sounds like a bduuun*

And that's another loser added to this pile of fucks.

7ILIMcWm.png


Well I rolled a W so I guess we'll see...

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Waldstein, when we get to Pokemon Names.

And if he evolves he'll turn from the Two-Handed Pokemon to the Collective so he'll be in a lot of future fights.

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Wow...that battle took so long it's already evening.

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Guess this is as good a time to call it.

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Sorry for the short episode. Especially after that loooong pause.

But I'll try to keep these updated more consistently. We just need to beat the Elite 4, stop Zinnia and that big triangle.

Nothing too difficult.

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I think I'll just relax for now though and listen to the waves lapping against the rocks.

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Ahhhhhhh...this is the life.

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...

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Unfortunately it's not my life.

I seem to be stuck with explosions and mayhem.

Ho hum.

See you guys next time.
 

Uberle

Legends done, back to writing
Writer
Screenshotter
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
209
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
1,636
Nature
Lax
Pronouns
he/him
Pokémon Type
  1. Fire
Pokédex Entry
Stays in the distortion dimension where no one bothers him
And we're back
Oh you're finishing this?
Cool.
Titania's gonna be pissed you've kept her waiting for over 2 years.
Have fun with that.

Let's see
Swellow base is 85
Plus Guts makes it 170.
With 2 feather dances makes it....
57
...............
And Mega Pidgeot base defense is 80.
.....
What kind of IVs and EVs does that Swellow have?
Or did it get a buff?
 
T

Turtleboi

Guest
Glad to see your still doing this Derogatory! I was beginning to lose hope.

Don't let Binacle's doofy looking face fool you. It's evolution can be a force to be reckoned with.
 

QuietGuardian

Johto League Champion
🌱Featurer
Screenshotter
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
33
Caught
Jun 10, 2019
Messages
1,591
Nature
Careful
Pronouns
he/him
Pokémon Type
  1. Dark
  2. Ground
Somehow this run has flown under my radar for a long time. Fortunately, I've fixed that, and I'm ready for/have enjoyed some more Derogatory-style humor and insanity!

(But seriously; you're doing an Alphabetlocke of a Drayano hack. Insanity.)
 

Decibel575

Hidden but not so Hidden Lurker
Pokédex No.
487
Caught
Jul 12, 2019
Messages
154
Nature
Timid
Pokémon Type
  1. Fairy
  2. ???
Pokédex Entry
Legends say that you may find this elusive creature hiding in the screenshot section, roaming the Terribly Titled threads
Uhh.  Hello.  '3' Just checking in on how the Reborn incarnation of Reborn Sean is doing.  It seems that while Rejuvenation Sean is dealing with shitty friends and a declining list of best girls, while also fighting Demonic entities and Ghosts, Reborn Sean is now (Compared to everything else) living the High-life in Hoenn, with adorable best girls galore.  He even has Mega Evolution to make his life an even softer ride.  Totally seems fair.  The Alternate Timeline thing is brutal.  

But wait.  Wouldn't Celebi know about the Alternate Sean? I'm pretty sure he needed more saving than Reborn Sean.  Unless this Celebi is a sadist and enjoys watching his role as a protagonist fade away, along with his sanity and self-worth.  Maybe Celebi was also in on the plot to save Melia, just to torture him some more
 

No-name

Conqueror of the Ecruteak Gym
Pokédex No.
603
Caught
Jul 31, 2019
Messages
274
Location
Nowhere significant
Nature
Serious
Pokémon Type
  1. Fighting
  2. Normal
Pokédex Entry
Likes vandalizing school buildings and is quite proud of doing so.
So Rising Ruby seems to have died again…along with every other run you have done...
Seriously is this whole "Every series in on hiatus" some sort of extremely elaborate prank in your non-existent upload Schedule?
 
OP
Derogatory Trainer

Derogatory Trainer

The hero you don't need but you're getting anyway.
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
315
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
510
Nature
Adamant
Pokémon Type
  1. ???
Pokédex Entry
The most humble and modest braggart you will ever meet.
nMoxtVdm.png


Well Sean, old boy. You've done it again.

You've procrastinated yet another 8 months updating a run that you finished in a week.

Two fucking years ago.

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A class act, through and through.

I'll stop bothering with this run now.

It's over.

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Guess there's nothing left to do but cleanse myself of this tainted region and get on with my life.

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Excuse me?

Bitch, I have SIX badges.

That means I fucking own you.

Now stop being such a baby and kill all these people!

IT'S WHAT THE FANS WANT!

They want to go back to Reborn with all the Pokemon I can actually name!

I genuinely can't remember that dead Victreebel's name anymore! That's how badly I've neglected this run.

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So clearly I've got to do the right thing and sweep this whoooole mess under the rug like it never existed.

Just like Snakewood.

And nothing will change my mind.

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...

Oh dear. That sounds like something that might change my mind.

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Hello? Who is this?

Actually wait, I've got a better question.

HOW is this?

...

By that I mean how are you calling me?

This is a Pokedex.

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Oh...Steven...heeeyyyyyy buuuudddddyyyy...

What? There's been a robbery at the old military base?

...

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Nooooooooo...?

I wouldn't know anything about a Javelin missile going missing.

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And frankly, I'm a little insulted that the first person you thought to blame was me.

I thought we were friends, Steve-rino!

We got matching Boulder Buddy T-shirts and everything!

...

Okay I got us matching Boulder Buddy T-shirts.

Besides, why would I blow up Lilycove? I've got nothing against the place.

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...

"You never said anything about Lilycove?"

...

Ah...well...you see...I was just...reading a magazine about...the growth of lillies in seaside coves!

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Okay first of all, disregard most of what my Dragonite just said.

And second of all-

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...

Uh-huh.

...

But I...

...

I hardly think making chicken noises is apporpriate...

...

ALRIGHT!

Alright.

I'll finish the damn Nuzlocke.

...

Okay...

Yeah bye.

...

I love you too.

*click*

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Is it just too much to ask for to spend my days being a lazy piece of shit?

I'm sick of people always making me DO things all the ti-

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...

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Please tell me you didn't sneeze so hard you let go of the-

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...

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I fucking hate Hoenn.

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Lol what replies?
All of you who commented are probably long dead by now.

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Luckily I managed to repel the missile, thus saving Lilycove from...let's say...Sinnoh?

Those dirty Sinners. Always firing missiles at innocent coastal towns and such.

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Also I'm invading the Magma base this episode.

Joy.

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Wow. Teleporters in their base?

Fancy...

Well it would be if they weren't in EVERY SINGLE OTHER EVIL TERRORIST BASE!

Sigh...

Let's just go get atomized.

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Oh.

Well this is...sad...

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Times are tight for all of us.

...

Actually is that recession from 2008 still going on or are we done with that now?

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Well I guess it's definitely behind us if people can afford to leave gold lying about.

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Christ man.

Have a little subtlety, will ya?

I'm flattered of course.

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Okay.

I guess this is what you get when all education revolves around Pokemon.

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Up, up and awaaaay!

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That's...not that unreasonable?

Sure, listening to him talk for an hour would make anyone want to rip off their fingernails and jam them into their eyes...

But at least he isn't making you get up before 10 a.m.

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Excusez-moi?

How am I suspicious?

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...

Okay, maaaybe starting with a Hypno isn't helping my case...

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...

Which half, Toucher?

...

TOUCHER, WHICH HALF!?!?

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And then this happened.

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I wasn't worried when this happened.

After all, Mega-Absol is part fairy when it mega evolves, right?

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Wrong.

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Dead wrong.

Oh and just so Sierra would have ABSOLUTELY no chance of surviving?

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Yeah.

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Hehe...

"ABSOL-utely"

I crack myself up.

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Just like I'm about to crack you open.

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It's called Thunder.

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HEAR IT ROAR!

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...

I'm going to be the bigger man and not brutally murder y-

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...

I have to go back to the Pokemon Center to change out Sierra, don't I?

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Heyyyy, sorry change of plans.


























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Sigh.

This is such a pain.

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RIP Sierra.

Even though you couldn't fly. You were still really fluffy.

And that's all that matters in the end.

Fwuffiness.

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Okay now which one of you sorry sacks of shit am I bringing now?

...

Jesus what category am I even on?

Last time I changed we were in 2017...

I'm fairly sure it's Species...

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Wow.

M is the highest letter I have in the box right now.

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And that's means the Muscular Pokemon, Hercules is now on the team.

Hopefully he won't get his nuts absolutely mangled in this episode.

...

Although I think it's happened at least once every time he's put on the team...

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Ugh.

And now I have to walk all the way back to the base.

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And I also have to run through the base to get back to where I was.

Can I just not use a bike?

Like who cares if the bad guys don't want me riding a bike in their halls? THEY'RE BAD GUYS!

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SHUT UP NORMAN! YOU'RE NOT MY REAL MOM!

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Guess we're hoofing it.

As usual.

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...

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I'm...just not sure how to react to that statement...

Normally I'd go with the tried and tested method of mocking him mercilessly...

But I'm not even sure HOW to mock it.

Let's move on.

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I...

You know they're cranes right?

Well they are in this run.

And since this is a mindless filler run, my canon is the only canon.

Therefore you look like a total nutcase right now.

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...

Fuck it. Let's go see what this definite weirdo is going to say.

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Already off to a bad start.

Maybe the reason I don't update this run very often is because I'm fucking sick of hearing the term "super-ancient Pokemon" every time I try to write a chapter up?

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Wh-

I...

Why did you say it like that?

Specifically that it was "Too difficult for humans to solve"?

It makes it sound like you're implying something else could solve it instead!

WHO ELSE IS GOING TO SOLVE IT?!? 

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Honestly, it's a very pessimistic and arrogant attitude to have.

"I CAN'T FIGURE IT OUT THEREFORE NO HUMAN CAN FIGURE IT OUT!"

Hoenn scientists make me fucking sick.

I'm going to kill them all and get better ones when I come into power.

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Especially that fucker who works at Devon.

I might have forgotten the names of most of my dead Pokemon but I remember that fucker all too well.

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...

Who's room is this?

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...

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Welp.

That answers my question.

...

This room MUST be Archie's.

























CN2mpjOm.png


And now I've wound up in the server room.

...

What do these people do if the power goes out and the teleporters stop working?

Do they just starve to death?

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Keeping someone out of a place only works if you're able to make them leave.

You're clearly another one of those limp-dicked scientists that infest this region so obviously you can't do shit.

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Now shut up while I snoop.

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Just press UP+B+X at the main menu?

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It's different because it uses a special hold item that only works with a specific species of Pokemon.

See? A completely different mechanic entirely. 

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"But only once to satisfy the plot then you can do it whenever you want, even in a fake 3-D environment when you battle other trainers!"

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Yes?

What mind numbing conclusion are you about to come to?

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...

I mentally prepared myself beforehand for you to say something utterly idiotic like that.

And yet I still got an aneurysm.

Amazing.

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Just like this scuba-diving suit!

Well not really.

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That "totally willing and consensual" collaboration, right?

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So...it's not really a collaboration then is it?

Considering the creator is a former Devon employee and all.

What exactly did you Magma Fagmas even add to the project?

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You silence says more than real words ever could.

And my thumb is tired so I'm not pressing the A button to hear your excuses.

fCLcaYHm.png


Onward, Christian soldier!

Or...whatever non-Arceus religion exists in this world.

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Hmmmm...let's blaspheme for a second and think of some Pokemon based religions...

Well there's Budewism, you got your Fletchindus...

Those Arceus losers, unfortunately...

Oh and who could forget the Mewish?

m0L1kIdm.png


Well what's left of them after Makuhitler got them.

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Yes that was all just so I could make Makuhitler canon.

Fight me.

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Sigh...

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Guess I'll get an Electrode then.

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Whoa...a ball...within a ball...

*inception noise*

...

Okay, I've actually never seen Inception so all I know is that it's about things being in the same thing.

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E and a B.

Fuck those are high.

Let's hope the random letter generator I deleted two and a half years ago is aiming low.

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Huh.

I didn't know they still made those stupid celebrity ringtones in this day and age.

Also Z is good.

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Welcome aboard unimaginatively named Electro-

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...

I have to go get him now, don't I?

FUCK.

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"Oh yeah, Sean! You should do a gimmick Nuzlocke while you wait for Reborn to update! What could go wrong?"

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I fucking hate past Sean.

The guy's a bastard.

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OKAY I GOT THE FUCKING BALL MONSTER! POKEMON LET'S GO ALREADY!

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God! No wonder I take so long to update this shit.

It isn't even that long a chapter and I'm already feeling jaded.

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Maybe I've lost the ability to enjoy main Pokemon games.

Maybe it's time I grew up and started actually paying my taxes.

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Pffft. Fat chance of that.

I ain't never givin' no gove'ment my money.

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Ah yes. A grown man giggling like a schoolgirl.

If I wasn't intimidated before I surely am now.

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...

Okay normally I'd do the whole "Have we met?" routine and pretend not to know you so people can see how cool/arrogant I am...

But I really have no memory of fighting you lot before.

mFczT7em.png

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I...think?

Well...uh...My name's Sean. I like obedience.

Who are you?

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Have a little self-confidence, Grunt #5!

It's no fun if I just beat up broken shells of human beings.

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Wait you guys are actually related?

If so I think quintuplets is too small a number seeing as all you Magma Grunts look alike...

Centuplets?

Is that a word?

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Probably not.

I don't want to imagine the body horror of someone pregnant with 100 babies.

Brrr...

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...

Those are some weird lookin' Poochyenas...

Oh well~

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Damn...

What was I doing calling you Zeus?

I should have called you Poseiden instead! 
  
gEZ3aqem.png


Ah...yes that's true.

But it's also because you can learn electric moves.

If you couldn't, I would have called you something else...

Zach.

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YES! TREMBLE IN FEAR BEFORE THE MIGHTY ZACH!

044PEkym.png


Wow! You managed to laugh like a man this time.

I guess I'm just that good of an influence, huh?

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EXCUSE ME!?!

IF ANYBODY CHEATED IT'S YOU FUCKERS FIGHTING ME 5 ON 1!


Besides I only cheat when it'd be funny to do so.

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IT'S NOT WHINING IT'S COMPLAINING!

I WANT TO SPEAK TO A MANAGER!

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Oh wow.

That manager routine actually works.

No wonder those soccer moms do it so much.

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"The customer is always right" my ass.

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More like...the customer is always...shite!

Nailed it.

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Excuse me I'm just a little boy how dare you say such innuendo in my presence?

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Fuck...I got stuck in the wall.

One sec...

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Ah there we go.

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What's too bad?

The fact that I came?











Here?

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...

I don't think you know what the word "upgrade" means.

It certainly doesn't mean "design a seafaring vessel after the most hydrophobic Pokemon in existence"

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Damn slutty seafloor caverns.

























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So when the people at Game Freak designed you, did they intend to make you the most innuendo making character in this game?

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I'm going to bet they did.

Those randy japanese designers and that dangerous line they thread.

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Why hasn't he left yet?

Hell why hasn't he released Groudon and doomed the world yet?

Last time I saw him was back when the year ended in a seven...

And...also just two chapters ago...

Man I fucking suck at updating this.

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Um...battle?

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UMMMMMMMMM...

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Fucking hell Game Freak.

I don't know how you did it but you've managed to sneak the thirstiest fucking girl ever into your "E for Everyone" game.

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Good stuff.

I take back all I said about me not liking your games anymore.

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So it's the protector of little girls versus the bane of little girls.

This should be an interesting match-up...

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...

Well I'm glad there's at least some justice in this world.

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Thanks Rapidash! You've saved my reputation among the children.

...

I should have definitely left out the "among the children" part of that sentence.

...

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GLUB! GLUB! FORGET I SAID ANYTHING BUB!

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Nidoki-doki huh?

Zeus can handle this one.

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Bleh. Not much of a looker is he?

...

Also he might know an Ice move.

Because everyone and their mother teaches their Nidoking/queen an ice move.

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Y'see?

I'm a tactical genius.

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Oh don't be such a baby, Nox.

It's only a little breeze.

Surely being a...cat...dog...rabbit thing like you has plenty of fur to compensate?

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Rabbit/Dog?

A Doggit?

A Rog?
 
Who can say?

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Eugh...that didn't do very much damage...

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Uh-oh.

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Nice work, Nox!

Nox...Fox...

A FOX!

UMBREON IS A FOX! I FIGURED IT OUT!

I'M A GENIUS!!!


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Yeah sure why not.

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Psh.

Rhyperior?

You can take her, right Nox?

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Errr...Nix that, Nox.

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Blame your shitty Special Defense/Typing not me, hornhead.

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Oh. How nice for that freeloader.

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Oh this can only go well.

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It did.

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N-NANI!?!?

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...

BWAHAHAHAAHA!

Oh man...that was just perfect timing, Zeus.

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Honestly I don't know why the ORAS team didn't just use the Groudon plot from Emerald.

Y'know? Where it's stuck in Mt.Pyre instead?

The Camerupt Drill would have made much more sense that way. Coulda made it into a tank.

...

GOD DAMN IT WHY DIDN'T THEY DO THAT!?! IT WOULD HAVE BEEN SO COOL!
 
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This would have been much more impressive if we hadn't seen May's Swellow do it about a thousand times already.

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And if it did more than half damage.

That also dampened the appeal.

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Dogs are the superior pet!

Cats are for people who hate the outdoooors!

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Nice.

Only one stooge left.

NiiZGvPm.png


And it's the genwunner's favourite Pokemon, Charizard!

4wEFP62m.png

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But even that lighter fluid drinkin' lizard is no match for a small mouse in a dress!

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Don't worry Ophelia!

As long as you believe in yourse-

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Okay forget that stupid believe in yourself drivel.

Go Zeus.

Take the hit so Ophelia won't be turned into ash!

...

Literal ash now. Not that fucking "turn to ash" joke in the Pokemon 2000 movie.

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And dead.

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GG Courntey. 

Thanks for killing that possible-rapist Hypno

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And please stop moaning like that.

There are children in the audience.

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...

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Hey fuck you that's my thing!

ONLY I ELIPSE!

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To them, I'M the villain.

What a nutty concept.

...

Okay that's the third nut adjective I've used today, why am I thinking about nuts so much?

...

Don't...take that last part out of context.

Actually don't take any of my runs out of context. I'm fairly sure I've insulted all races and creeds by now.  

Actually, actually do take them out of context. Not like I give a shit.

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Well...it's more like "Objective Complete" than "Mission Complete"

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Although I don't think you show up after this so I guess your mission IS complete after all.

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And for Ke$ha.

Bet he didn't mention that in his 11 a.m speeches.

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Wow. Because I really needed a hint.

Thanks Game Frea-I mean Courtney.

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Is it of a time gone by?

Because both myself and my readers really want to go back there.

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And here I thought he was heading inland.

In his submarine.

...

OF COURSE HE'S HEADING FOR THE FUCKING SEA!

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AND HERE I THOUGHT THE SEAFLOOR CAVERN WAS ON THE FUCKING MOON!

JESUS GAME FREAK!

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Find some Japanese people and beat them up because I was annoyed by a children's videogame?

Just like the media says I should be doing?

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...

Jesus fucking christ.

I'm not listening to this shit anymore.

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Into the drink you go.

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And outta this fucking place I go.

Into the next chapter.

SEE YOU GUYS IN ANOTHER 8 MONTHS, AMIRIGHT!?!













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I'm kidding.

But really I should have had all of this shit edited and written by now.

I've just been constantly putting it off because it's...I don't know what it is...

Maybe it's the extra dimension in this game that disturbs me.

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I'll probably make the episodes a lot longer in the future.

Thanks to Tapatalk getting rid of that "75 images per post" bullshit I can do it much easier now.

...

Jesus it's been so long since I updated this we were still using the old Zetaboards forum.

Well enough complaining!

See you next time for some more complaining!

I'm gonna save this and start on the next one. By the time this comes out I should be finished writing up to Wallace.

So stick around. I might actually mean it this time.
 

QuietGuardian

Johto League Champion
🌱Featurer
Screenshotter
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
33
Caught
Jun 10, 2019
Messages
1,591
Nature
Careful
Pronouns
he/him
Pokémon Type
  1. Dark
  2. Ground
Aw yeah, you’re back! The hilarity recommences!

Well, that and the intense difficulty of Drayano hacks. Rest in peace, Sierra and Toucher (except not really Toucher).
 

spikesgirl1

Lugia Worshiper
Pokédex No.
446
Caught
Jul 9, 2019
Messages
99
Pokémon Type
  1. Fire
  2. Ghost
Honestly, you joke, but I did really miss this run. Forgot how much I love Zeus, Xena, Nox and Orphelia (I forgot about Toucher and Sierra, though looks like it was for the best? RIP). Glad to have you back, Sean! :)
 

No-name

Conqueror of the Ecruteak Gym
Pokédex No.
603
Caught
Jul 31, 2019
Messages
274
Location
Nowhere significant
Nature
Serious
Pokémon Type
  1. Fighting
  2. Normal
Pokédex Entry
Likes vandalizing school buildings and is quite proud of doing so.
If this ends,you know,you might want to return to Hoenn ……… for…...THAT.
Do you remember It?....Actually WHO am I kiddding, you probably have PTSD over THAT run.


Also Game Freak has put in a good chunk of innuendos into Pokemo Games for a while. (Except when they went full yolo with It in X & Y and Sun & Moon)


(Extra: Y no replies?)
 

No-name

Conqueror of the Ecruteak Gym
Pokédex No.
603
Caught
Jul 31, 2019
Messages
274
Location
Nowhere significant
Nature
Serious
Pokémon Type
  1. Fighting
  2. Normal
Pokédex Entry
Likes vandalizing school buildings and is quite proud of doing so.
(This post is a Proxy that I used to grab the imaginary "140th post" award.)
 

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