Alpha to Omega : A Rising Ruby Alphabet-locke : Chapter 26 - Water's in order if you wanna be SHIT (Wallace Gym Battle)

[Uberle]

Why am I not surprised you left us at that cliff hanger?

 

[Derogatory Trainer]

Luxio huh?

Roll the letter app!

N...

Well won't be seeing much of this guy then.

L, N and S for Spark Pokemon.

Another box boy.

Oh hey.

Haven't seen you guys in a while.

I've made literally no progress in the 6 months we've been gone.

What else is new? The creator seems to be more interested in Rejuvenation than getting me back to Reborn. What a fucking hack.

Ah well.

Nitro's a good name

...and...uh...

Yep. Nothing else to say about this Pokemon.

Let's...skip the replies this time.

I doubt anyone really remembers what they posted in April anyway.

What alphabet thing am I on now?

I beat Norman last time so...Species?

Well it won't matter till I get to Fortree anyway.

Or if I find something good in this next r-

-oute.

...

SCYYYYYYYYYYYTTTHHHHEEEERRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!

MINE!!!

Haha I love Scythers.

Best bug.

After Kricketune obviously.

Come on Letter App...Scyther has really shit letters...

Cut me a break this one time, okay?

A...my first A...

I love you, Letter App.

I don't even mind that you gave me a virus anymore.

Ace!

The best name to give someone if you want them to have self-confidence issues for the rest of their life!

Shit, I have to go back to Mauville and exchange now, don't I?

But this time I do it gladly!

Mother-fucking Scyther!

Sorry Ophelia but Mantis beats Mouse in the alphabet race.

See you laterrrr!

Time to train my new baby!

(and get a look at what else is in the grass)

I know man but we have to finish this run so we can get back to Reborn.

Oh.

That's what you meant.

Clearly you just aren't cool enough

I bet you can see my coolness from space.

Huh.

You know I don't think I've ever actually owned a Vespiquen in my 20 something years of playing Pokemon games.

I suppose female Combees are hard to come by.

Man the transition to 3D has not been kind to Ekans.

They look like purple piles of poop.

And so, after a much shorter time than this time-skip would have you believe...

That happened.

Now she's ready to slice and dice.

Bug Maniac Taylor will be her first victim.

Is...that a sexual thing?

Huh? What're you about to do?

Oh my.

I love it

Haha, Ace don't take shit from anybody.

C'mon man...didn't you see what happened to your buddy?

Well...that's what you get.

For hoarding knives.

Ace...

Okay I'm starting to get worried about this much brutality, Ace.

I'm trying to keep things PG13 while I'm in Hoenn.

...

I mean I'm failing at it but at least I don't mount people's heads on spikes anymore.

Liar.

I touch everyone's heart.

And that's Route 11-whatever.

It was good.

We'll remember it fondly.

But now onto my next gym badge!

Is what I'd like to say.

But we've got Fagma to deal with...

Whaaat?

You mean THIS Weather Institute?

Oops~

Hellooo hot blonde receptioni-

...

Where is this a map of?

Seriously, this doesn't look like any region I know of...

Wouldn't the professional thing to do have been calling the police?

And not carry on carrying on?

No.

But my job is making Nuzlockes on the internet so...

Oh man!

Not again!

Haha!

I'm so alone...

...

Well a ching-chong ping-ling to you too.

Odd how the translation team converted it from kanji into english but didn't actually translate it.

Oh good. I can heal my bois and girls.

The only rational thing to do at this point.

---

Well now that I've taken a 22 hour nap my pokemon are completely better!

...

So do they just hop in the bed with me?

If so, why do we need Pokemon centers?

What are my tax Poke-rubles being used for?

It's funny because I don't pay any.

Also I'm roboticizing Ace.

Eggman eat your heart out.

Yeeeeehhhh.

Full Metal Scyther.

Time for pettin'

You mean pinching them right?

You ARE the Pincer Species now after all.

Which must really annoy the actual Pinsirs when you think about it...

We should probably have a talk about your violent tendencies...

And how to best utilize them...

And you could quit being a hypocrite.

But I can't see either one happening so...

*Smush*

Now who's leading this operation?

Is it the weird girl or...?

HOW THE FUCK DID HE SURV-

Oh right.

We're in Pokemon land.

It's called a "salad"

Now THIS is what I call a scientist!

Way better than that meek little shit in Rustboro.

B-b-b-b-backhand!

Steady on, chap!

Wouldn't want to get wobbled before the cricket match, wot wot?

Literally the question on everyone's mind when reading this trainwreck of a run.

Whoa! Breaking out the thesaurus on this one!

...Did somebody say...

ZA WARUDO!!!!!

Man haven't used [Shitty Reference] in a long while.

Probably because I haven't updated in a long while...

Hm.

---

Next you'll be chanting "Yu mo gwai gui fai di zao" at me.

You know talking in brackets never works right?

I can hear you.

...

This ISN'T day-to-day your job???

What the hell do you do outside Team Magma??

Well, besides eating.

Man I feel bad for fat people.

So easy to make jokes about them.

You do remember what happened last time we fought, right?

And no, not the time your fucking Darmatian beat the shit out of my team.

Speaking of which...

TIME FOR REVENGE!!!

AGAIN!!!

REVENGEANCE!!!

Sigh...always with the Intimidate Mightyena...

What the picture said!

You're not as cool as you think you are, Froggy!

Oh yeah.

Real cool.

And Mightyena is pretty much handing you the victory by boosting your attack.

I will admit I didn't see the Play Rough attack coming though.

He dug his own grave with that Swagger.

Now who's next for the karate chopping block?

BAAAAAAACCCKKKKK!!!

Fucking DROWN him, Zeus!

Well...it did less damage than last time?

So we ARE improving at least

Yeah...or at least sent him into Zen mode

Oh wait, this one has Sheer Force.

Lucky me.

Back you come, Zeus!

Let's try to fake him out...

HAHA! WHAT CAN YOUR FLARE BLITZ DO NOW???

Oh...

Shit.

IGNORE HIM, EMBER!

USE BOUNCE!!

BOUNCE AWAY FROM THIS PLACE!

HOW IS HE FASTER????

DAMMIT YOU HAVE "DASH" IN YOUR NAME, FOR FUCKS' SAKE!

You Groucho Marx lookin' motherfucker...

Welp.

He just killed my unicorn.

Now he shall feel the wrath of every pre-pubescent girl.

XENA!

DO THE THING!

*cough* *cough*

Ugh some of this Mega energy went up my nose...bleh.

Oh god...we're not...?

GOD DAMMIT!!!

Okay...maybe dial it back just a liiiittle bit, Xena.

Xena?

Well that was pretty anime...

Sigh...

To be honest I think Mega Evolving brings out the worst in her...

She becomes so arrogant and stubborn...

Yes but when I do it, it's charming...

Well I assume it is anyw-

...No...It's just...

I didn't notice how much bigger you got after Mega-Evolving...

You got like 3 foot bigger...

Yeah no problem.

We should probably get back to Tubbitha before he tries to eat those scientists.

Well there goes just using Xena for the rest of the match...

Uhhhh...Guess I'll have to use Nox then?

He should be fine.

He knows how to dig holes after all.

Damn who would have thought a ROCK of all things would have such a high defense???

WHOOOO????

Damn who would have thought a little black...dog...cat...thing would have such a high defense?

WHOOOOOO???

---

Okay we went through another round of basically the same thing in case you were wondering viewers.

Ah what?

Why would he bother swi-

Oh god. It's that fucking Weezing.

At least I used this turn to heal.

Hmmm...

Come back, Nox.

Well it could know Explosion or Destiny Bond and you don't have any good moves against it.

Also I don't really feel like losing anymore Pokemon to this gasbag so...

Pffft...

Now I'm glad I named him that.

He sounds like a yogurt brand.

Ugh...double Toxic Spikes...not fun.

What moves does Latios know anyway?

...

The hell is "Luster Purge"?

---

Hot DAMN!

That much damage even with 9 levels between you two?!?

Is this the power of legendary Pokemon????

Also what was up with that cultish chant?

Man you can say what you like after a performance like that!

Now take 5 while Kermit knocks the socks of some rocks.

He'll be fine.

The bond of friendship we share will sustain him.

Next!

Hm.

Forgot about the Snorlax...

Well good thing the only fighting move I have right now is Low Kick.

Buh-bye, Snorla-

Did It just jump over the k-

Ooooooohhhhhh...

That's gotta hurt.

And that's the end of th-

And that's the end of that.

Do you even know how autistic those noises make you sound?

HEY!

ONLY MY MOM CAN CALL ME THAT!

IF I KNEW WHO OR WHERE SHE WAS!!!

...

So he's stealing Zant's plan from Twilight Princess?

That's terrible!

I don't know how to Nuzlocke that game!

Yeah that's real bad and all but could you stop talking to me like you're a sassy black woman?

We all know there's no black people in Hoenn.

Closest one is Phoebe in the Elite 4 but she's more likely from Aloha.

I dunno. I could try battling it. That usually solves everything.

What kind of Pokemon does Climate change use anyway?

Is it just Castforms?

Well I can't promise that but I can definitely saunter into action.

Or maybe I'll traipse.

There are just so many good words for walking slowly, y'know?

Should keep muttering confidential plans aloud?

Oh.

Well why don't you stop him then?

"Sean do this, Sean do that"

These future people are...no different actually.

Jesus is my entire life just following orders?

A, B, Y, X and sometimes even R...

Pfft...

...

What exactly did they steal?

Couldn't they have just asked you for the information?

It's not like "what the weather was like a thousands of years ago" is a national secret or anything.

I don't want it.

Don't look so surprised.

Who WOULD want a fucking Castform?

No.

"I forget the other one though so you'll have to buy the other version if you want to find out"

So why aren't we all dead?

So it's basically like Yanma or Piloswine learning Ancientpower?

Big deal.

This concept is old.

Tangela can do it.

Also you might want to stop throwing the phrase "super-ancient" around if anyone wants to take you seriously.

You sound like a 6 year old.

And it was only a few thousand years ago! There are Pokemon still walking about that are that old!

Granted they're mostly Claydols and Golurks but still...

This...this is your office man...

...And why can't you just give me the free shit now?

I didn't...promise anything?

Look like two pictures up man.

This is all you.

Huh. Not bad.

Hahaha is this how Nintendo decided to teach us about Rocky Helmet?

Amazing.

---

Rest in peace, Ember.

I will pretend to care about your death in your honour.

Welp.

Time to get back on the old sodden and blood-soaked trail!

See you in another six monthsnext time, gang!

---

Also happy birthday to me

---

I demand presents

 

[Uberle]

It's been...
Half a year
Eh, I'll take it

Anyone want to translate what was on the TV?

I take it you've been binging Jojo recently
Seriously you've been referencing it a lot lately

Obligatory RIP Ember

And happy birthday

 

[wedward45]

To Real!Sean, happy birthday.

To Game!Sean, don't worry too much. I think your creator has lost his desire to continue with Rejuvention for the time being.

 

[War Anvil]

Aw, happy birthday, Sean! Keep on being your lovable, enemy-team-crushing self!

Shame about losing ANOTHER cool member to that stupid Darmanitan. Ember will be missed, I'm sure of it.

 

[Alba Corbina]

Do you even know how autistic those noises make you sound?

What exactly is that supposed to mean?

 

[REDalchemist]

These edits are amazing...
also based Mega Bullet Bird! I don't get to see Mega Pidgeot alot....

 

[Turtleboi]

Word's cannot express how lucky you are to have a Scizor with good letters on your team!

 

[Derogatory Trainer]

If only fangames could look this good right?

Well then...onto the next May encounter!

I mean Fortree City!

Wooo!

Spoiler: Ruby Replies

Spoiler: Pokemon Fan Club

@espeon860 - THAT FACT

@YingYang - She burns on in our hearts like when you eat greasy food too fast.
You're welcome

@Gaunt - Naaaahhh
Same. I had forgotten Norman got shot.
Which is a pretty big thing to forget.

@nepeta100 - Have to finish it to get back home. I wrote myself into that corner on purpose so I could actually complete a Nuzlocke in my lifetime
Never heard of it. Any good?

@Hycrox - Hopefully it'll stay dead this time.
Thank you...Bycrox?

@pikafan96 - It was just hibernating! For the...summer...hm.
What??? You're not going to ignore your family and friends so you can re-read a thing on the internet? Forshame...
Thank you. The local village threw stones at me to celebrate

Spoiler: Nuzlocke Forums

@Uberle - See you in another 6 months so!
Eh...something about Pokemon I'd guess.
Recently would be about 8 or 9 months ago. I'm watching LOGH now but that's harder to reference.
Tenks fren.

@wedward45 - Or are we the saaaame person?
Woooooooooo...
And yes. We'll be taking a break from that for a bit.

@WarAnvil - Thanks pal!
"Lovable"?
Yeah...sure she will...*cough* *cough*

@Alba Corbina - I knew an autistic kid in primary school who made the exact same noises.
It was really annoying to sit in front of him and here "Ahya" softly behind my back.
Either that or he had asthma...it was a long time ago.

@REDalchemist - I wouldn't call them amazing...adequate is a better word.
If only I could draw/animate...a shame really.
I wonder why? They're so majestic...

I'M SORRY ALL RIGHT?

I MEANT TO GET BACK TO THIS WAAAY EARLIER BUT SOME STUFF CAME UP AND REJUVENATION WAS GOING REALLY WELL AND-

I mean...nowhere.

I've been here the whole time.

Just...chillin'

Well I got it from this pretty fancy looking guy.

Seriously everyone keeps commenting on how handsome he is!

WHY DON'T THEY SAY THE SAME ABOUT ME HUH???

...

Oh and it let's me Ultra-Evolve my Pokemon or something.

Let's not kid ourselves, May.

It's a Digivice and I digivolve my Pokemon.

No? They can just hit harder.

Whoa...are you jealous, Mayday?

How adorable~

...

You know if you were trying to punch me, you probably should have come closer...

Fine, fine.

Let's do this thing again.

Okay I swear these butt shots are just coincidental!

The capture thing on my 3ds is delayed!

Delayed I tell you!

And she's starting with Swellow again...

She could try mixing it up to catch me off guard at least once...

Let's see some bird-on-bird action!

Ouch...little harsh there, Xena...

You've been acting kinda weird lately too...

Maybe this Mega-Evolution thing is affecting you in some way?

...

OH WELL!

WHO NEEDS CAUTION, AMIRITE?

And modest, can't forget that part...

...

I think this Mega-Evolving this is adding some of my personality to Xena...she was a braggart before but she never used to be so...vicious...

Okay, Raichu's up next. Switch with N-

...Excuse me?

You're MY Pokemon, Xena! Whatever happened to Trainer knows best?

Huh.

Well if it works I suppose...

We'll have a little talk about your behavior later, Xena.

You can't be pulling shit like that. You'll get yourself killed.

I've got a brilliant strategic mind so I know what I'm talking about.

Now shut up while I send this tiny mouse in a dress to fight this whale.

Strategically.

Now you cute little fuzzy wuzzy ball of joy...

Exterminate Wailord

She's cute, polite and cute!

A winning combination!

Except against Blaziken!

Back out you go, Xena!

XENA NO! SHE WAS GOING TO SAY SOMETHING IMPORTANT JUST T-

-HERE...

Aw man.

Good job, Blaziken.

The more people realize this the better.

Your cheque is in the mail.

Okay.

I'll leave you in for this one but you really need to calm-

-THE FUCK DOWN!

...

I think May is right.

This Mega-Evolution is an extremely unfair advantage against her.

Although I'm still a little suspicious about her intentions...

There's no way that pose is natural.

And the flattery...nobody ever flatters me except myself...

Ah yes.

My "mother" the Celebi.

Who seemed really enthusiastic about pretending to be Norman's wi-

We'll just stop that train of thought right there...

She does realize I'll probably die if i lose.

I never really thought about what happens to me as a character if I lose a Nuzlocke during an unimportant battle.

If I was fighting the likes of Groudon, I'd just write it as if I was killed.

But what happens if I lose to Youngster Pete or someother faceless nobody?

I suppose killing myself out of shame would work...

Not like it's going to happen though.

Because I'm great, handsome and yadda yadda yadda.

After two or so years, you all get the idea.

Now then!

Let me just check my little book...

Fortree is...Nicknames!

Oh wow.

5 switches this time around.

Exchanged for...

Ace, Hercules, Kermit, Marceline, Mercy and Luchina...

Pretty much the opposite of an ideal team when going up against a flying gym...

---

Ah we'll make it work.

We always do.

Let's have a little look around Fortree before we start clipping Winona's wings, shall we?

That question was a formality.

None of you have any say in what I do.

That's not so bad...Most bug types are cute!

Pffft...there aren't even any Pinsir around here, don't be such a baby.

Stupid kid...

...

I should probably go talk to him.

...

Eventually.

First let's see what's in h-

FUCK FUCK FUCK REVERSE! REVERSE!!!

Aaaand he spots me.

Crap.

No-o-o-o-o!

I like how the game understands how little a shit I give about this multiplayer tomfoolery

And I like how Aarune just laughs it off everytime I'm rude to him.

He'd be an okay guy if he shut up about secret bases for half a second.

It'd be nice if some of those items weren't hidden because I don't have any friends with Secret Bases.

...

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAA

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

Haha...oooohh lordy.

Okay, I'll bite. What does that remind you of?

I have not.

I've been fistfighting my way through the League this whole time dressed as different Pokemon.

Oh...you weren't referring to Pokemon?

And those sound like squatters not pals.

It'll lead to a few misunderstandings like what we just had at least.

We could call them my entourage or cronies.

If only I had a friend...

Okay he rambles on a bit about flags here then gives me

This...thing.

I could make a Smash Brothers joke but this show is too high-brow for that.

And then we battled.

He only had a Flygon.

It was as disappointing as he is to his parents.

"For a kid"

That's not even a compliment.

Kids are weak as shit.

And we never spoke to Aarune again.

I hope.

Let's buys some chairs for my Secret B-

For my Lair.

---

"Fortress of Derogatoritude"

"Derogatory Demesne"

"Sean's Spot"

Hmmm...none of those work for a name...

Aww that's so cute~

You disgust me, little girl.

Sometimes.

It's usually me saying it though.

I prefer Derogatory Trainer though.

'Cause there's only one of him...uh me.

Unless there's a clone or an evil version of me from a different timeline.

Unless I am the evil version and he's the good one...

NAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!

I'm so sweet and kind after all.

I think Steven needs friends more than I do...

We'll go after him next episode though.

We need to get moving on this whole Pokemon league thing.

And you smell like a loser.

Were you in a loser...store or something?

Nailed it

...

Did it forget it could fly?

It just...waddled out of here...

Yes, I'm sure that was a greaaaat idea.

Bird's are renowned for their ability to do odd jobs aroudn the h-

Oh.

So the gym was blocked off.

I completely forgot about the Devon Scope.

Who could blame me honestly?

It has literally no use after this bridge.

You can catch Kecleon in the fucking tall grass!

Why is it even an item?

Actually now that I think about it...if I keep going I'll be forced to catch a Kecleon...

And nobody wants that, am I right?

So let's run around in circles until we get something good...or at least better than a Kecleon.

Ooooh.

Finally I too can catch the edgelord of Pokemon.

*edgelady

GIT IN THERE!

Aw yiss.

1st try!

Man people must be terrified of going into the grass on this route.

There's like a 5% chance they'll run into one and cause a hurricane.

Well they think they will anyway.

Seems kind of stupid to think a non-legendary or "super-ancient" Pokemon could cause a natural disaster...

Ssssssss...

I'll call you Sean 2!

Or Sierra.

Which is admittedly a better name for an Absol.

Now where's my Boulder bro?

S'up Steven.

Almost like the game is hinting at you being important in the future...

But no...that would be ridiculous.

Er...define "wisely"

...

And define it so it means beating up my cute friend's Pokemon.

HAHAHA YEAH MAN DON'T BE SUCH A DWEBBLE DOWNER!

You "Hm" a lot, Steve.

Is it my dignity?

I've been looking for that thing everywhere.

...

...

YES???

Are you just going to poke the air with a stick?

Because that'd get the same results I bet.

Steven...?

Yeah but I'll just beat the Kecleon up myself.

It's just a big chameleon after all.

No magic bullshit involved.

Now are you sure because you're just guessing or are you sure because you made this thing specifically for me?

...

How do I look?

Wait...it's not on right...

There we go!

I feel just like an X-Man!

And not the transvestite kind!

Hey it worked!

I still think poking it with a stick would have gotten the same result though, Steven.

So is this thing meant to be so hot?

And why is there a targeting reticu-

...

Pfffftt...

And completely annihilate them as well.

You should probably put that somewhere in the fine print.

So you're just giving this weapon of mass destruction to me?

...

I knew there was something I liked about you Steven.

Aside from your fashion sense.

Man what's with all the Jackie Chan adventures references lately?

First Tabitha, now you?

...O-oh...

T-thanks Steven.

I'll...put it to good use...

You have a list.

Of your favourite rocks.

...

That's adorable.

AHAHAHA YES LET'S GO BACK TO TALKING ABOUT MY DEAD GROVYLE PLEASE!

You must hate me then.

I've been half assing it this whole time.

O-oh...

Oh my...

GAH!

I'M FINE!

I'M JUST INCREDIBLY TOUCHED IS ALL!

NO BIG DEAL!

---

...

You can sense stones.

He can sense stones.

...

Okay.

Uh...it is?

Do you want to see it?

It's a bit creepy honestly. It only activates when someone's being really nice to me.

I think it eats friendship...

Pokemon League?

I think that's when we meet again anyway.

Wow.

It was really nice of him to clean the bridge off-screen so I don't have to edit in those schorch marks.

What a swellow fellow!

Might as well see how far we can get down this way.

I remember accidentally skipping it when I was younger.

Man I had a level 95 Swampert around now back then.

It's kind of easy to do seeing as there's no major battles that involve his only weakness.

Nintendo really dropped the ball the-

Fuck.

Double Fuck.

Well...that was awkward...

I think I'll go fight Winona now.

Right after evolving mah sword.

YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO STAB SOMEONE EVENTUALLY, MERCY!!!

Now shaddup and follow me.

We've got wings to clip.

Huh...wonder what TM that is?

I'm sorry.

BUT YOU HAVE TO DIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEE!!!!

Turns out the TM was Grass Knot.

Just before a Flying Gym.

...

Gee thanks

What a shit gym.

I should have brought a fire type or something...

Afternoon.

No thanks.

Wow.

I should try just walking past people more often!

Saves a lot of time.

Party's in order...

Lesgo.

Running sassycomebacks.exe

And here I thought it was the middle-aged man at the entrance.

That just sounds like you got wasted and slept with a Fearow.

What exactly does your hair look like when you take the helmet off?

Notice how the shading forms a perfect oval around her ass.

Good show, Nintendo.

Good show.

Awww what a cute little dance~

Time to...

FUCKING DESTROY HER!!!

WHOOOO!!! GYM FIGHT BABY!!!!

Man, pretending to be excited about this is hard work.

I'll probably just steamroll her with Kermi-

Well there goes my Rock advantage...

Eh I'm sure winging it will be fine.

We're trying to make these static images look dramatic, Kermit!

But fine. Look less cool for all I care.

friggin' prima donna

Well...that did nothing.

It's not THAT harsh.

Kind of soothing really.

That less so.

Oh calm down, you baby.

Protean changed you to a Rock type before it hit.

See?

Now use Scald.

Or Boiling Water no Jutsu.

I suppose it doesn't matter what you call it as long as...

We get results like that!

Wait, what?

It won't do shit to Kermit but come on...

I can't even SEE it's health!

She's going to heal now, right?

Riiiight.

Might as well keep scalding it.

Closest thing to a fire move I've got anyway.

Plus there's a burn chance.

Which we just got.

Aces.

---

Well now that we have THAT distraction out of the way...

What you think she's going to pull next?

I hope to god it isn't an Emogla...hate those little shits.

Huh...odd choice to fight a Water/Dark type...or a Rock, Flying and Fighting type.

Protean is really broken...

Well...just in case it has Super Luck...

It is.

This is it after all.

I always have a plan!

Problem is they usually really on a stupid amount of luck

Liiiike this one!

Ehehehehe!

Yes.

How are you not used to these kind of things yet?

I blame the constant party switching.

That's just your opinion.

Kermit likes me at least.

You're only setting yourself up for failure, Honchy.

I speak from experience.

I get interrupted a lot after all.

...

I SAID I GET INTERRUPTED A L-

There we go.

Switch back in the froggo.

I knooooowww...so frightening, right?

*Squish*

Seriously Winona, could you at least make me break a sweat?

Ohohoho...that's really abusing the Flying types only rule but whatever.

Might actually be a challenge...

Considering I don't have any direct counters to it anyway...

*Ahem*

You're not a Scyther anymore, remember?

That's better.

That's worse.

Let's boost the ol' Attack stat with a little dance number.

Oi! That was my idea!

Dear god what an awful job I did of capturing that.

So now Ace and Big G are on the same level attack wise...

Let's see how well our defense holds up...

Or she'll just D-Dance again...okay...

Niiiice...

Are you fuckin-

USE AN ATTACK WINONA!

C'MON!

Well I got my hopes up for no reason.

Why do people like Gyarados again?

I think it was going for a Stored Power strategy.

Shame I killed it too quick.

Well not a shame for me anyway.

Ooohhh and the big boss bird is coming out next!

Now...who to use?

Well yeah, Ace.

Having your skin turn to steel will add a few pounds.

...

You still look good though?

Here we go, Ace...get ready...

THE FLUFFINESS!! IT'S TOO POWERFUL!!!

Guess she saved the best for last!

Let's DO thi-

...

...

...

...

...I feel you, Ace...

Sorry your first gym battle was...well...completely boring.

Well look on the bright side!

We crushed Winona's Pokemon so badly that they'll never dance again!

Hooray for crippling animals!

You haven't met many trainers then have you?

I earned this.

Is it a TM for Dragon Dance?

Well fucking keep it then.

I don't plan on sending my Flying types against Rock or Electric types.

I'm not an idiot.

I just want to fly the fuck out of here really.

In fact...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=36_z-vwoVIw

So if you could ignore the man shaped hole in the roof that'd be just super.

So we beat Winona.

*yawn*

Which means it's time for yet another roster change!

From Nicknames to Pokemon name!

So instead of these fucks...

We get these schmucks!

Well that's pretty much it...

Except...

...

Sigh...

#NeverForget

#Explowha?

Spoiler: My Stone Sense is Tingling...

 

[Uberle]

This is gonna take me a while

First off funny thing
My run Punishmentlocke has a Punishment where the run becomes an Alphabetlocke
I got it
It caused me to end up with a Dunsparce and an Onix

It appears the children of Hoenn have the following super powers
To breath underwater
To go into space with zero protection
and apparently not get wet in the rain.
Though May probably would've used that to a certain advantage

"REJUVENATION WAS GOING REALLY WELL!"
.............
So you stuck to Rejuvenation for 6 months until almost getting swept by the Death Chicken?
And then you came back to your own Death Chicken.

Don't you hate it when your capture card lags?
All these accidental buttshots blocking the battle of monsters controlled by children?

I don't know what's up with Steven
Though he did turn you into reverse Cyclops

And that Winona battle was a little anti Climatic...
You one shot nearly every mon

 

[wedward45]

*sigh* Yet another shot fired in the Blaziken vs. Infernape war. Why can't the two just put their differences aside and focus on what really matters?

Namely, ganging up on Emboar.

 

[Alba Corbina]

All hail the friendship-eating meteor!

 

[Derogatory Trainer]

Man...we've been searching for hours!

I don't think we're EVER going to find Wattson's long lost treasure...

That's not what we're looking for, dear Trainer.

It's called a JOKE, Sierra.

Your standard for jokes leaves much to be desired, sir.

Well 'scuse me if I'm slowly realizing I'm losing my touch and should reti-

I believe I've found what we're looking for

Of course, I could be wrong. After all your description was extremely lacking to say the least.

That's hardly my fault! All Norman said was "near Fortree" that's not much to go on.

And yet we've found it. Almost like destiny, wouldn't you say?

Who in their right mind likes Destiny?

Well many people and Pokemon believe certain things are set in stone to help them co-

I mean who spends half a billion dollars on a game only to come out with a shitty grinding simulator?

...

Another one of your jokes, dear trainer?

...

I'm just going to...do the thing.

I'll be counting the seconds.

Now what do we have here?

An ancient mirror that doesn't reflect anything in a secluded wooden area forgotten by the world...

Well this is obviously a portal.

Literally anyone who's ever played an RPG or read a fantasy book would assume this.

*boop*

Well maybe I'm just well versed in this kind of nonsense by now.

...

...

Is there a password or something?

Norman really should have been more specific about this shit.

Oop! Hang on we're getting somethi-

...

...

...

Oh sure leave me here alone.

I guess I'll run the title card while you're off on your silly time adventure.

Not like I have anything better to do...

Spoiler: Replies

Spoiler: This place

@Alba Corbina - And now you've got no friends.

@wedward45 - You mean the BEST starter? After Empoleon?
You crazy.

@Uberle - Ew. I would have just killed them both and skipped a capture tbh.
Nah man in the 3D version you get a pair of goggles. The ultimate protection against ocean depths.
I don't follow the thing about May using rain to an advantage. Is it because she dresses like she does?
Key word being almost. Almost swept to a death chicken.
Yes. It is a problem that has no possible resolution. But I'll manage. Somehow...I'll manage.
I'll form my own X-Man team in Hoenn. It'll probably sell better than those weird Power ranger knockoffs they had.

Spoiler: That place

@YingYang9705 - Only in vanilla and only if you're playing blind.
And only if you fucking suck.

@Gaunt - I'd be fine with that career change
Pffffffffffff...no.
I haven't played Gen 7 either. All i heard was people complaining about nerfed Talonflame.
Nobody uses the Devon Scope after Fortree so you shouldn't blame yourself.
Sean will get nobody as usual. Status quo and all.
BLAZIKEN'S A SHIT WHERE'S MY MEGA-INFERNAPE GAME FUCKS???
#I actually don't know what I'm supposed to not forget.

@Hycrox - Gyarados is a meme Pokemon.
And no I'm not bitter because I've never caught one.
Fuck you.

@nepeta100 - That sounds kind of cool actually. I'll look into it for sure.
Yes but it's kind of offset by the amount of actually powerful Pokemon I'm getting.
Reborn seemed to love just shovelling shitmons at me.

@pikafan96 - Tbh I don't think it suffered much. It was over so quick after all.
I think sleep thing is because the AI expects you to either heal it or switch.
It never seems to consider how cruel trainers are by letting their sleeping Pokemon get the stuffing beaten out of them.
You got me to make a comic panel out of it. So that's something.

@DemICE - STEVEN'S THE CHAMPION???? WHAT A SURPRISE THIS IS!

And so the mirror brought me to a cold, empty place devoid of all intelligent life.

What is this? Detroit?

And what am I? A hack comedian who goes for low-hanging fruit?

That was rhetorical by the way.

So where is this Celebi I'm supposed to meet?

Do I need to yell something?

DORMAMMU!!

I'VE COME TO BARGAIN!

...

Maybe I should try something else?

I guess I could do a rain dance or something...

You should! It'd be pretty funny!

Yeah I guess it w-

-ould.

Hiiiiii~ My name's Cele-

Don't care.

Transport me back to that frozen mountain you stole me from so I NEVER have to deal with this time travelling BULLSHIT again!

DO YOU EVEN KNOW HOW HARD IT IS TO WRITE A SEMI-COHERENT TIME TRAVEL PLOT?

I'M USED TO JUST WRITING THESE NUZLOCKES OFF THE TOP OF MY HEAD! I'M ALL STYLE AND NO SUBSTANCE MAN!!!

Boo hoo hoo! I only wanted to be friends!

I try not to befriend my kidnappers. Stockholm syndrome's for idiots.

I-I-I only kidnapped you because you were the most impressive and handsome trainer in history!

I thought if ANYONE could save the world it would be you! The glorious Derogatory Trainer!

...

...MAYBE I'll hear what you have to say...I can't exactly ignore a crying fairy in need after all...

Oh goody! I knew you'd agree! You are a great hero after all!

I didn't like how that "great" was in italics.

I THINK I'm getting played here...

Look how about you get this heavy handed exposition out of the way so we can get on with our lives?

You mean the life where you're constantly surrounded by idiots and are screwed by the plot at nearly every corner?

...

The life where you're apparently incapable of holding onto a piece of jewellery?

Well...I...

Her Salamence couldn't break down a door, Sean.

I see you've done your research anyway...

The benefits of being a time-traveller!

Now, you take a seat while I go fetch the projector!

Maybe I should just stay in Hoenn...at least here I'm not looking after orphans or crystal plot devices...

Although Momma always said I should finish what I start...

Well I imagine that's something she would have said to me if she wasn't tragically killed in my mysterious origin story.

Coming 2018 to a cinema near you.

Also there are like no chairs in this void.

"Take a seat" my ass.

I'm baaaaaaaaack~

Oh good. Something to distract me from the horrible mess that is my life.

You've made a lot of those kind of jokes in the last few years...are you okay?

Oh just peachy. I've never been happier.

probably should have called yourself the sarcastic jerk trainer instead

You say something, Ms. Kidnapper?

Nothing~

Okay! I got it working are you ready?

Well I have several questions about where you got this projector and how it's actually running in this void but nobody actually cares about that.

So yeah. Wow me with this presentation.

Okay so as you're probably already aware, Team Magma has been extremely active lately. Almost suspiciously so.

Uh huh...

They started as an environmental group for Fire Pokemon, which were vastly underpopulated across Hoenn due to its natural geography.

And here I thought Team Magma was an group of renegade IGN reviewers.

Anyway...this group would have been nothing more than some regular dime a dozen rights group until...

Her. This woman is the source of Magma's recent activities.

She's also the source of something else if you catch my dri-

We want you to kill her.

...

...

Well shit it's not often a time travelling fairy tells you kill someone.

So why do I have to kill this...uh...

Her name is Zinnia. She's one of the Draconid people.

...Should I know what that is?

Not really, it's rather unimportant in the grand scheme of things. They're a bunch of weirdos who live in Meteor falls or something.

Huh...

Back to the topic at hand, why do I need to "take care" of her? She seems fairly harmless.

Looks can be deceiving, Sean. She's the reason Team Magma knows about the super ancie-

Don't say it. For all that is good in the world, don't say it.

Fine...she's the reason Team Magma knows about GROUDON and how to revive it.

Her motive for doing this however, remains a mystery, why exactly would anyone wish for an eternal drought is beyond me.

She infiltrated Team Magma several months before I dragged you h-

...

Are you paying attention?

...

Yes...?

Are you paying attention to ME?

...

No...

She uses Dragon type Pokemon so prepare for that when you confront her.

Hang on. She's already told Team Magma where Groudon is located shouldn't I focus on stopping them before snapping her neck?

...

I mean I'm completely fine with murdering someone for vague reasons or no for reason and all.

But shouldn't I prioritize stopping this endless drought that's going to doom the world first?

That's...actually a good point.

Thank y- wait what do you mean "actually"?

Fine then! We'll worry about Zinnia after the Magma crisis has been dealt with then.

Hooray.

Unfortunately...there's something much more...sinister...than Groudon going on behind the scenes...

Of course there is.

BEHOLD!

...

...

It's a big triangle.

The most sinister of shapes!

Uh...huh...

All jokes aside, this symbol has been appearing in the dreams of many people and Pokemon for the past year or so.

What? In their dreams??

We believe it's trying to...communicate with the residents of Hoenn...

However, the strength of whatever's transmitting this thing is way more than most people can handle.

It has...changed...a number of people already...driving them to do things they would never dream of doing...

And in the worst cases, turning on their friends and family...

How many has it infected?

There have been several cases of people acting irrationally in the past few months but...

But?

I...think whatever it is that's doing this...is learning.

So it's getting more difficult to tell who's gone off the deep end then?

That's...one way to put it, yes. The mind control has definitely gotten much more subtle in recent months.

So there's people who might be under this sixty degree sicko's spell and not even realize it?

Unfortunately...yes...

Great. So what exactly do you want me to do about this shit? If I go against this thing wouldn't it focus all its efforts to brainwash me as well?

Oh you don't have to worry about that in the slightest!

And why not? Seems like it'd be kind of an issue!

Because you're a freak!

...

My feeling have been hurt and I would like to go home now.

Tee hee hee~

There is something definitely strange about you though...why can't you be possessed?

It's almost like you're already being controlled...right...now...

...

What the f-

...

Why did we both just suddenly look to the right?

I dunno...bet it scared someone pretty good though!

Anyway we're running out of time here so...

How can we be running out of time? You're a time-travelle-

Erk!

Just believe in yourself and everything will be okay!

Okay Norman might have been okay with the creepy closeness but not me!

And you STILL haven't answered why I can't be brainwa-

Boop.

---

Sigh...at least we got alllll that plot out of the way...in one of the most clunky and awkward ways possible.

Who has time for well placed clues and hints within a narrative?

Not this sham of a Nuzlocker! No sir!

Speaking of shams, I never did tell Pink Celebi about the evil green Celebi running around...

Eh probably not that big of a deal.

So I guess I better head towards Lilycove next.

Beats standing in the rain for another month or two.

Like these ninja kids.

This ain't Harry Potter kid.

So unless your cloak is made of Kecleon hide you're screwed.

Tsunao? Sue now?

Eh he probably doesn't have anything that impressive...

...

Still not impressive.

That's something you consider a "move"?

Call when you've one-shot him like the rest of his Pokemon.

I'm gonna go...lie down in a bush or something.

And literally no one cared.

And the best place to find you PAPER MACHE wearing shits is on the rainiest route in Hoenn?

Jesus, kid. Maybe consider being a Camper or something 'cause that is just sad.

Sun, sun, Mr. Golden sun, help my evolve my dragon, please!

Ugh...that's annoyingly close...

You couldn't have trained one more Pokemon?

Zeus, kill this innocent pile of knives please.

Thank you.

THANK YOU!

SOON YOU WILL BE MIGHTY! OTHERS WILL TREMBLE IN YOUR WAKE!

That is a shame, they are the best part of Dragonairs after all.

But think of what you'll be getting in return!

ARMS! LEGS!

BEAUTIFUL DOUGHY ARMS!

FINALLY!

...

Probably still going to end up using you for Surf when Kermits not in the party though.

Ew no.

I could just teach him Aerial ace.

Orrr...

I teach him Fly and we head to Fallabour.

They sell Dusk Stones there if I remember correctly.

COME FORTH! ZEUS THE SKY DRAGON!

WHO LOOKS...an awful lot like a regular bird...

Huh.

Oh well.

ONWARD!

...

I think I broke my ankles.

I'll just...crawl to the Pokemart then...

GAAAHHH ONE DUSK STONE PLEASE!!!

EAT ONE DUSK STONE PLEASE!!!

So we don't have to deal with me screaming about broken ankles all episode, let's say the evolution radiation evolved my legs better.

...

Because that makes sense.

Yeah! Two final evolutions in one episode! Feels gud.

AT SOME POINT YOU'LL HAVE TO USE THAT SWORD PART, MERCY!!!

YOU ARE THE ROYAL SWORD POKEMON! STOP BEING DIFFICULT!

Friggin' haemophobics...

...

Man that's one good looking png.

And as usual, my consent doesn't matter, does it?

Nope!

Send in the Mighty Hercules, please.

oh boy

Fairly sure I can't breed Herc after this run is over...

There goes that army of mighty Conkledurrs...

Hey at least we used Drain Punch on that Magnezone.

You'd be dead if we didn't.

I'll send Solomon back out, pal.

Yeah bye.

---

Oh Venasaur?

Good match up for Soloman then.

And it survived.

And it decided to use Frenzy plant.

...

Fuck.

UHHHHHH WHAT EXACTLY AM I SEEING HERE????

WHAT!?!?

...

Nothing is happening.

Forget you saw any of this.

...

I'd probably feel bad if he...uh...

Hm.

I am in need of some bleach though.

Well...Soloman's dead...

Gonna...bury him here with the others...

...

Aw man.

I just realized I never Mega-Evolved him before he died heroically and not in a weird way that completely ruined my image of him.

...

What a shame.

Guess I'm down a Psychic Pokemon now.

I've decided not to use Yo in battles.

I never liked how these Gen 6 games just give you good Pokemon like Lucario or Latias/os...or Lapras...

Why are they all L named Pokemon?

I smell a conspiracy...

And so does this Drowzee I imagine.

With its weird trunk nose.

Neat.

Now let's see what my lovely Letter app has for us...

T...T...T...

T...oucher?

Oh god...I'm going to regret that, aren't I?

Uh...thanks?

OKAY INTO THE PC YOU GO!

...

Fuck.

We're on Pokemon names.

And that means I have to let Toucher on the team now...

...Mimikyu confirmed?

Or they just let some kid design the Safari Park sign.

Which would make sense giving the state the Safari Zone has become...

Fucking communists.

Back in my day we paid to capture exotic Pokemon!

And we could only do it in 500 steps or less!

Kids these days.

I can see the resemblance alright.

...

I...I'm not sure I like this encounter.

No.

Haha get rekt, kid.

Just two actually.

A Yanma and a Wobbuffet respectively.

Yanma got called Ivan.

...Was kind of hoping for a J or a B but oh well.

We'll call him...uh...

Guardo.

Yes.

This is a fine name.

I am a fine trainer.

At least with their high nickname letters, they'll get a chance to shine at some point.

And now I own the bane of Nuzlockers everywhere.

Destiny Bond mixed with Counter and Mirror Coat is like poison to us.

And speaking of death...

Here's a whole mountain dedicated to it!

A literal mountain of corpses.

That's what this place is.

That was your first mistake.

You gimmick trainers really need to learn that being a good Hiker, Fisherman or Psychic doesn't mean you're good at battling.

Meet the guy who pities himself in a literal graveyard everybody.

No I'm actually chasing some eco-terrorists who are bent on reviving a super ancie-A REALLY REALLY OLD POKEMON, that'll destroy the world.

NO!

...

I just realized something.

This is the first time I've entered a Pokemon graveyard area in one of my Nuzlockes!

FINALLY!!!!

NOW I TOO CAN USE THE TIRED CLICHE OF SEEING MY DEAD POKEMON ALL IN ONE PLACE AND THEN PRETEND TO BE SAD ABOUT IT!!!

CHEAP EMOTIONAL SCENE! DO YOUR THING!

...

Oh.

It's just those losers.

Well this was disappointing.

Guess I'll just go beat up Maxie or whoever is at the top of this mount-

Cut me some slack, Cheshire. I'm only in my twent-

...

...

I'm imagining you, right?

Not to sound ungrateful to see you again or anything but...you died a very long time ago.

And halfway across the world.

Hit my head?

...

...

Oh.

...

Touch me and you'll join the rest of the Pokemon in this mountain.

Now fuck off.

I'm just going to...lay here for a bit.

Sigh...what a day...

My main enemy in life is now a magic triangle.

Is there any time period that makes sense in this Pokemon world?

Anyway I'll see you guys next time!

Try to stay tuned!

 

[Sora the Blue man]

Well I just caught up with this run today,and I love it,its the kind of Childish Humor that I love as well as A protaganist who is a semi jerk and has a lot of meaningful love interests

 

[Alba Corbina]

Wow, Celebi looks really weird when viewed from the front like that.

 

[REDalchemist]

This is truly a work of art.

 

[Uberle]

Photoshop is a magical thing

.....
Hold up.
Where'd the Pikachu come from?

I see all of the obligatory jokes.
Dead pokemon thing and Drowzee being a creep.

Guardo is a fine name for a Wobbuffet
I called mine Kek.
I think my mental process was that it killed one of my mons (randomized moveset long story) and I just thought it was going "Kek"
So I named it that

 

[wedward45]

Your photoshop skills have gotten surprisingly good.

 

[Turtleboi]

Holy Exposition Crobatman!

Wait a Minute, Your main enemy is a Triangle? That Means your enemy is...

BILL CIPHER!

 

[Derogatory Trainer]

We now return you to your irregularly scheduled program.

Where I, the glorious Derogatory trainer hassle mourners for no reason.

Better put this guy on a watch list in case he decides to pull an AZ and blow up PokeFrance

Hm. Guess he has sense after all.

I'd rather be invulnerable than immortal anyways.

Living to a ripe old age while still being fucking indestructible.

It's the dream.

I'll get around to it, okay!?

It's not like they'll decompose in the PC!

Like me for example.

Although I'M trying to wander in the right direction but all you old people keep talking to me

The irony of that statement.

Because not one step later I got attacked by an onion wearing a blanket.

Otherwise know as a Shuppet.

Who will now be otherwise known as...

J...J...Jane...

Justice!

Jane Justice everybody!

SHUT UP! I'M EXPRESSING MYSELF!

It's not like she'd think of a better name...

Hello.

You have rather...spirally eyes.

I see every bit of fanart lied about the size of your breasts.

Why do you think artists draw you as a milk monster?

W-what?

Baby, I can change!

Psyche! I ain't changin' for no broad!

...

I got mixed up and ended back outside.

...

Don't tell Hex Maniac about this okay, viewers?

Here I'll bribe you with some replies.

Although that'll only bribe like 10 people...

Oh well. Can't stop it now.

Spoiler: Replies

Spoiler: Nuzlocke Forums

@SoratheBlueman - Well I'm glad you like it! I wouldn't let a child near this though.
"Semi-jerk" You did see him kill that kid in the Mauville episode right?
Meaningful is...a strong word to use there but okay

@Alba Corbina - All Pokemon look weird from the front because we're not used to full-frontal 3-D with them.
Except Pikachu but he's a media whore so it doesn't count.

@REDalchemist - I wouldn't go THAT far.
I mean I feel I deserve some sort of trophy for all my efforts but work of art?
Nahhhh...

@Uberle - I was hoping nobody would notice she wasn't in the party at the time. THANKS.
I am extremely unoriginal in everything I do. Except the names. They're uniquely bad.
KEK!

@wedward45 - Thank y-
"Surprisingly"
WHADDYA MEAN SURPRISINGLY???

@Turtleboi - In this forum it's Bill Cipher and in the other one they think it's the Illuminati
I'm almost tempted to change it now.
But I won't.

Spoiler: Reborn Forums

@DemICE - Deoxys backed by the Illuminati confirmed.
Well that's good. I've only laughed in despair over one.
The whole Arceus/Radomus debacle.

@YingYang9705 - God damn pervert is what he was.
Circles are always the good guys in fiction. It's shapist is what it is!

@pikafan96 - Thank you! The doctor said if I was thirty years older I wouldn't have come back at all!
And I've never used his Mega form either. It is a shame indeed.
Yep. Let's remember for the Brawly killer he was and not the weirdo he became.
Yeah...we'll probably never get him again seeing as Reborn doesn't have any Pokemon graves.

@Gaunt - Nothing? He was going to but I woke up. He's no Jynx after all.
Probably just go with favorites. Or the ones I feel deserve to be there the most.
So yeah definitely Zeus, Kermit and Xena if they get to that point. Probably Hercules too.

Okay! Totally intentional detour aside...

We're back on the Magma hunt!

Or we're back on the hunt for people crying over literally garbage.

...I may have had that happen once or twice...

But does anyone really remember my Purrlion?

Well you clearly already have some if you're challenging ME.

I'm super worried you guys.

See how I used an emoji?

That shows I'm hip and "with it"

This might be the end of my runs forever.

Can my power of hate and/or indifference match the power of two young people in love???

The answer is no.

It eclipsed it pretty dramatically.

By the laws of the land, your girlfriend is now mine.

...

...

...

Bah, keep her then!

I don't need anyone anyways!

Especially not someone to wearing matching heart sweaters and bracelets with!

THAT'S RIGHT, SUSPICIOUSLY YET CONVENIENTLY PLACED NPC!

ALL I NEED IS MONEY TO BE HAPPY!

MONEY AND POWER!

Well that's nice.

When I told everyone they tried to do experiments on me!

*Bonk*

Oh hey. The creep's evolving.

Good thing I put him at the head of the party so he'd level up and not so he'd be killed by a chance Pursuit.

No sir.

Jokes on you, Toucher!

I'm immune to mind control!

Apparently!

...

This little girl GETS me!

You remind me of me when I was younger, kid.

I wish they brought back the call feature from Emerald so I could talk to you some more.

Alas we shall never see that cool little girl again...

Oh.

Well it just so happens...

That I have the perfect killing team for those two types.

GIT 'IM!

You just got Looney Tuned, son!

Daughter...

You get what I mean.

Oh.

You survived.

Well isn't that just peachy?

NO! HER HUGGABLY SOFT FUR! YOU MONSTEEERRRRRR!!!

And I won.

Pretty handily.

And speaking of handily...

I haven't pet any of my Pokemon in a long time!

Good swo-I mean shield.

You don't have to cut anyboy if you don't want to anymore...

ACKNOWLEDGE ME AS EMPEROR, YOU STUPID SWORD!

IT SAYS IT THE POKEDEX (Bulbapedia) THAT YOU CAN!

I WANT MY KNIGHTS AND JESTERS!!!

Sigh...

At least it's calming petting you, Sierra...

So silky...

Thank you. I studied for a very long time to get this good.

Two WHOLE minutes.

You came kind of close to dying against that Sableye though...

And after Soloman died pulling those orphans from that burning building...

So it's better I do this now while I still have a chance.

SIERRA!

DIGIVOLVE TO!

DAMN RIGHT!!!

I love doing that.

I don't particularly care for Mega-Evolution in general...

But man is it fun!

Magic Bounce, huh?

I like it.

Wow that's even better.

Don't worry Sierra, we'll have plenty of time to mega-evolve at a later time with your good letters!

Right so this leads out to those Magma miscreants but there's one more level up above.

So we'll make a cheeky stop here.

Well worth it.

I wonder what was buried here?

Something important no dou-

Aaaand it's a Meowth.

...

Maybe it's THE Meowth?

---

And this is Jessie and James!

The future is sad.

I suppose every future is eventually sad.

...

Christ.

Same here, buddy.

I'll probably go with:

"Here lies the Derogatory Trainer"
"We hope"

Yeah it's tough putting everything on such a small slab of stone. Maybe I'll get a statue to list my achievements.

...

Do Xbox achievements count?

I was only making a joke earlier but now I'm worried.

I haven't actually achieved anything yet.

Well nothing that can be represented by a big ol' trophy, fancy title or a Broadway musical anyway...

I tell ya, ever since that train blew up I've had nothing but problems.

Terrorism, murder, suicide, evil cults and now time-travel of all things.

That brochure for the Reborn region failed to mention all that shite.

AND WHY ARE THERE SO MANY STAIRS???

WHO NEEDS GRAVES THIS HIGH???

#420Graveit

Oh hey.

There's my friend Maxie!

MAXIE!

MAAAAXXXIIIIEEEE!!!

NO IT'S OKAY I'LL COME TO YOU!

No you won't.

Okay that's a bit confusing.

How do you people not already know who I am?

Aside from me screaming it every time I enter a room shouldn't you guys have had meeting about me?

I'm literally your only opposition.

Well me and Team Aqua but they haven't actually done anything yet.

And of course you have a Darmatian.

Of course.

But things are different now, motherfucker!

We've evolved literally and emotionally, Zeus.

And it was a crit so...

*shrug*

Is it EVER anyone else?

I know.

Y-you do realize it's 1-nil to me, right?

Or did that battle somehow not count?

Bye then.

Aaaand you're still here.

Pontificating your little heart out.

Glad to see I'm fighting the pretty one at least.

Even if she is fairly weird.

Because they were all holding back for some reason.

Sure.

You know that's only going to anger me, right?

I've fought quite a few of you Team idiots over the years but not a single one has ever tried to bribe me.

Do you guys even KNOW how well that would work on me?

Well you weren't getting it back anyway.

It's been slowly devouring my friendships and I can't just give them up like that.

"IN CASE YOU DIDN'T WANT TO FIGURE IT OUT FOR YOURSELF, LOVE GAMEFREAK!"

JUST LEAVE ALREADY, MAXIE!

Thank you! God!

Friggin' ham.

That's a impressed "hah" right?

I'm going to assume so.

Because.

I.

Destroyed.

You.

JUST LIKE YOUR FACE!

Only joking, it's a very nice face.

Jeez show a little humility will ya?

...

That's probably the most hypocritical thing I've ever said on this run.

Oh...well thank you.

Uh...

Same?

Yeah, no joke.

Even I got creeped out.

...

I'll still hit it though.

I-I'm just going to take the free orb now.

Finally.

Now my plans to flood the world will be complete!

Why is the blue orb giving me red headaches?

I'm getting a flashback to all those flashbacks I suffered through in Snakewood.

I guess that's that then.

Small little update but that's how I ended up splitting them.

Ah well.

Let's roll Sierra!

To infinity and beyond!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iRmMgqq6KUw