Screenshot Sinnoh Teen Commentary 4 Sides to Every Brain Cell: a 4-man Randomized Relaylocke

[Jimcloud]

Boy howdy is that a dark and edgy screenshot opener. Sure would be a shame if somebody went and made a dumb as shit ruleset and turned the whole thing into a joke with their friends, haha, ha. ha....

yeah, about that. This run is a relaylocke between myself, @Robo ,@Umberoff , and @Bayporeon , and is a test of patience hiding geodude from robo friendship as the four of us travel the Sinnoh region while passing the metaphorical controller around between us and yelling "no peeking" at everyone else in the room as we gloat over how cool the Next New Thing to happen is. And if you want specifics, I am more than happy to provide.

Spoiler: Rules

1. Catch only the first Pokemon you encounter on each route.
   1. dupes and shiny clause are in effect, though it's optional in case that thing you wanted to use died and you somehow lucked onto an identical mon.
   2. Pokemon must be nicknamed. Each person has their own nicknaming theme, to be discovered.
2. if it faints, that bitch gone
3. Relaylocke rules are in effect! Each person plays a predetermined segment of the game before posting and passing it off to the next person in line, going in order from Jimcloud -> Robo -> Umber -> Bayporeon. You may not continue playing after the point specified in the spoiler below. Each teammate will also fight one member of the Elite Four, in order. The group will collaborate to beat the Champion.
   
   Spoiler

   1. Start through Rival battle #2 (Jimcloud)
   2. Rival battle #2 through Roark (Robo)
   3. Roark through Mars battle #1 (Umber)
   4. Mars battle #1 through Jupiter battle #1 (Bayporeon)
   5. Jupiter battle #1 through Fantina (Jimcloud)
   6. Fantina through Maylene (Robo)
   7. Maylene through Wake (Umber)
   8. Wake through Cyrus battle #1 (Bayporeon)
   9. Cyrus battle #1 to Canalave (do not fight rival) (Jimcloud)
   10. Canalave rival through Iron Island (Robo)
   11. Byron to Route 216 Rest House (Umber)
   12. Route 216 rest house through Candice (Bayporeon)
   13. Candice through Galactic HQ (Jimcloud)
   14. Galactic HQ through the Distortion World (Robo)
   15. The Distortion World through Volkner (Umber)
   16. Volkner through Victory Road (Bayporeon)

   [*]
4. No player is allowed to read previous updates, excluding this, the first one, until they have posted an update on the forum. At that point, they may read every update that has been posted beforehand (and are expected to react to it at the end of their update). Readers are asked to post replies that would spoil content for our players within spoiler boxes or using inline spoilers ([ISPOILER] and [/ISPOILER]) though general content may be left untouched.
5. Each teammate will specify two Pokemon at the end of their session. These two Pokemon may not be removed from the team for any reason until control is handed to the next person, unless they die.
6. This run has also been randomized. The important points are that trainers and wilds have been set to random similar strength. Everything else is convoluted enough, so we kept this simple.

Got it? Good, because there will be a test later. Nah, but it'll become more clear as we actually start getting into it. Ideally speaking, each of us will probably make one post with our section, so if all goes well this should end up being... 21 parts long. Decent point to aim for, I think.

Spoiler: Table of Contents

Part 1 (Jimcloud) below
Part 2 (Robo)
Part 3 (Umberoff)
Part 4 (Bayporeon)
Part 5 (Jimcloud)
Part 6 (Robo)
Part 7 (Umber)
Part 8 (Bayporeon)
Part 9 (Jimcloud)
Part 10 (Robo)

Spoiler: Part 1

Well, chum, I guess it depends on what you define as an "adventure." I haven't done fucking anything quite like this shit.

I reached this screen and immediately realized the sheer gravity my choices possessed. To say we planned this shit is doing us a great credit that not a single bitch in this party deserves. We slapped this shit together in an hour and decided this is what we were going to do with our lives for the next, like, month.

We are allowed regrets, but I'll make sure none of these fuckers stop.

Now, while none of us are boys, not all of us are girls either, so this wasn't an easy decision, per se. Robo immediately leapt at the chance to be Dawn, though, and we couldn't in good conscience deny her that. Not when the alternative is the Bereted Bitch over there.

Now, we had discussed what we were going to talk the protagonist beforehand, but I hadn't quite heard it, so I assumed this was what was meant (which was incorrect, and I of course never figured out what it was supposed to be). I only know it was supposed to start with a P because the joke is that this asshole is Paulie and Polaris from Two Sides, but worse (thus the name of the run).

This was also discussed as an option.

However, we settled on this pure, brilliant name. Peepo! Peppy rappy Peppaboo. Peppin. Popper.

I reached this screen and my heart immediately leapt to my throat. I had no strong opinions about what to name this cretin, myself.

Thankfully, Robo and Bay shouted this simultaneously.

It was then amended. He is named StinkyP, for his P, which is stinky. "I guess he eats a lot of asparagus," were, I believe, Umber's exact words.

Thanks, but I think the thing that I'm going to discover about myself is that I should never let Robo have access to a save file of mine that could even potentially have a Geodude in it.

And probably that I shouldn't have let either Robo or Umber have access to my save file at all.

Bay's probably fine though.

Unless they're Geodude! Robo has already stated that if ever one of us catches a Geodude, she is going to go through the box until she finds it and murders it.

At least she's up front about it.

That foul scent of asparagus... it could only be one man.

It's not his fault, not really. His mom's the one who keeps cooking the stuff. A man's gotta eat.

That's all him, though.

I'm more and more convinced that Peepo was the right naming choice every time I see someone say it. It just sounds so pure. I'm filled with primal joy every time.

My legal name is gonna be Peepo now.

eeeEEEEEeeeeh. I don't wanna deal with his smelly urine. Free me!!!

None of you came here to see Platinum's fucking intro for the fiftieth time so i skipped it

Now, our options: Charmander, Treecko, or Aron. The choice for the four of us was easy as hell. Only one of these isn't a generic ass starter, and we're far, far too cool for this vanilla shit.

How laughably easy it makes the rival battle was an unintended consequence that I am nevertheless okay with.

Oh, yeah, we also randomized the trainer names and classes, so StinkyP here is a Chief now. He is the chief at having stinky piss that's for sure.

I feel real bad for the other three. The smelly piss joke bladder is gonna be completely empty by the time they get around to it, through no fault of their own.

On the other hand, they called him this, so I guess they get to suffer the consequences.

i literally do not give a shit you fucking bladder evacuation

let me CATCH POKEYMEN

why am i even here if not to catch some fucking men!!!?

...Well, nothing in the rules that says I can't scout my catch options ahead of getting poke balls. Let's just see what I could get.

...

I absolutely just used every last drop of my capture luck on this fucking unimportant encounter.

God.

DAMNIT.

My naming theme! It's Ice cream flavors!!! And frankly I think my choice to name this boy Rocky Road is obvious. I have faith in Rocky to serve us well, especially early on when fucking everything has normal moves and almost exclusively normal moves.

ah yeah, prof, you'll have to forgive me here, but my daily fuck rations from my dystopian hell government were very low today, and I just don't have the spare fuck left to care one goddamn ounce about your bullshit.

git oudda my face.

It's a good thing Lucas has never gotten within biting range or i would have taken a couple of chunks out of his fingers

At long, long last.

Freedom.

I also got some of these (in case of emergencies) but not too many (in case my catches mess up that bad).

beach? beach. Bet none of y'all ever seen anybody go down here this early, huh.

Realized I forgot to mention it, but items are also randomized. This one is an interesting opener.

Albeit not, uh, useful at present. Maybe if we ever get a Galeno.... 2!!

First catch!!! It's- oh.

Hoenn? Did you come calling?

The coincidences, they begin to stack up. This is starting to look like a pattern here

get in the fucking ball you little shit-

I think it says a lot that of every fucking thing I've caught so far the one that gave me the most grief was a level 2 raccoon.

If I had thought of fudge ripple at the time then you would be speaking to a different and far superior Jimcloud, but I did not. I'm not fussed about this catch, though, because this baby has PICKUP YEAHHHHH

I was wondering, like, a million screenshots from now why I had 9 potions and only realized as I started putting these screenshots in that it was because of this perfect baby. Thank you, Cookie Dou.

we in the club like sup where the female combees at

...

Okay. Sure! Okay.

FIne.

Okay.

That's cool. Fine. Not like we went to all this trouble to randomize anything. It's cool! Yeah! Not like I needed a Vespiquen in a nuzlocke. Nah.

On the bright side, I know exactly what to name this thing.

the caps are mandatory.

What!? I coulda had a feebas instead of zigza-wait that would have been awful actually.

Carry on.

Is this, like? A nickname? Did she start calling him that and then everybody else picked up on it??

Basically what I'm asking here is if she's oblivious or cruel.

...

nah, fam. Show me.

yo what that's great

and terrifying

but great

we randomized the catching tutorial though so I think this is just the result.

I have a weakness for free shit so you just barely get a pass.

I took this cap at a weird time but!

This sure is our next catch, huh.

Sure is cool how hoppip doesn't learn an attacking move until level 10... huh....

That all being said, I've always kinda wanted to use a Hoppip, so I'm gonna give Pistachio a god's honest try, or at least get the work of getting her an attacking move out of the way so Robo doesn't just box her on sight

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

I NEVER SAW ARENA TRAP PROC FOR SOME FUCKING REASON, MAYBE BECAUSE I WAS LUCKY, BUT AAAAAAAAAAAA

there are also fucking wynaut here I'm taking my ball and going to the route with hoppip on it are you bloody kidding me

Though it pains me to admit it, VANILLA is our best fighter right now. And he's going to skyrocket in usefulness when he learns Wing Attack here in a couple of levels.

Now, like,

I know now that Riolu has no fighting moves at this level,

but imagine the mortal terror that flowed through my veins.

maaaaaaaan

note to self, switch in to Rocky Road on these ones. Always.

cries

Cookie Dou I love you, my precious child

Flawless. A million dollar moveset.

Missed the cap but we in fucking business

That's tackle levels. Thank fuck.

Oh hell yes. This team is workin' it.

Whatever "it" is.

Oh boy oh boy first randomized trainer battle let's see what he's got

ah, she, sorry.

And uh. That's a Pokemon. To describe how this battle felt, I think I should describe the rough conversation we had afterwards.

Me: "Oh, first trainer battle!"
Someone: "what's she got??"
Me: "Uhhh I just beat her and I already don't remember"

oh thank god

i keep missing trainer names but its impossible to miss quality like this

uhhh which one is that

Oh fuck yes. We can now sell every awakening we ever get. The only way this could be better is if it was the no-attract berry.

i hope y'all know this part is like 80% grinding and 20% me skipping past plot details

this is sad though

the plot has finally released me, and lo, I must catch

gasps

a baby!!! These showed up in the last route, too, but I already had Hoppip there and I was a little disappointed because I would have loved to have one of these babies and now I do have one!!

If ever there was a fitting name for a Pokemon.

well, alright,
y
eah that's,

sure

FULL TEAM FULL TEAM FULL TEAM

...oh, yeah.

Hey bay? Get in fucking voice before you read the next screenshot.

I would like to hear you scream, because god knows I almost did.

Normally i just use tackle to weaken catches but you wouldn't catch me risking a crit on this baby for love or money

It's my baby! Look at her! Look at what a good baby she is! An infant! A small child whom I love!

It's okay baby you won't be lonely anymore i got you

hmm. Nope.

Much better.

her moves aren't great but she has an advantage. Namely, resisting Pokemon whose only moves right now are water gun or thundershock.

It's a pretty good fucking advantage at this point in the game.

Finally some good fucking STAB

11 is the magic level for a lot of my team's moves so it's the level I'm grinding to at the moment.

Just realized I could do this, and that there's no real reason not to fish in Twinleaf right now.

Cookie Dou has given me like half a dozen of these but thanks

fucking hell

Oh, a child!!

What a good baby.

...But now I gotta level him too so Robo doesn't fix her laser death eyes on it and murder it instantly.

thank god for this because he sure did poison somebody

antidotes? whomst??

full heals??? dont know the bitch

Thank christ

this is BEYOND infinitely better than relying on god damned WRAP

Nothing against Chocolate, because I love all of my children to bits, I just needed somebody to drop to level up TuttiFruti and there were no better options.

this was infinitely faster than the rest of the grinding up to now and I was very confused about it until I remembered experience curves exist

hell yes

Sure would be NICE if I could have caught A PICHU on ROUTE 202 so I could USE THIS huh

this is always fun in a randomizer

I have NO IDEA what happened in that fight I did NOT expect Sentret to deal that much damage but here we fucking are i guess

sweetie, no. These won't help for emergencies.

they will buy a lot of Poke balls though

oh this one is unexpected

This was about the point in the run where the voice conversation was going like "okay so what do we screenshot??" robo, who has never screenshotted, asks of me, who has done a lot of screenshotting, and I mention "oh yeah since this is a randomizer you should screencap the trainer names because they may end up being funny,"

I said,

because that's definitely something I've been keeping up on doing,

very consistently up to this point,

that's the magic level, let's zerg down the rest of the content and finish this part so we can get to the fun bit

the handoff.

oh, um, okay. Are quick claws just like, magnetized towards schools? is that what this is?

thanks i fucking hate it

Alright there. I caught one (1) trainer class image at battle start. I can die satisfied now.

We probably shouldn't have set this to fastest text, in retrospect.

well that's terrifying!

stick to juggling, donna.

hey so i totally forgot to do this and i know robo isn't gonna so umber it is up 2 u

i have faith

not a lot of faith, but some faith

aw fuck i gotta do this shit

god damnit

o-oh

quick claw... 2???

this will make a fine addition to my collection

sighs dramatically

cries dramatically

dies dramatically

great can i leave now its 6:30 in the fucking morning

finally the moment we've all been waiting for

the dramatic confrontation, the piece d'resistance, the last battle of my part

it was uh

kind of a blowout im js

sorry y'all nuzlocke over we can't win against stinkyp ever again

okay that's that, time for me to hand the run over to Robo, meaning that I must bid y'all wonderful people farewell until then. But first, let me leave you with the Pokemon that Robo has to use in her next part (outside of the spoiler, to set the precedent for later when we can't read this shit until after we post)

Alright! With that all said and done, the Pokemon Robo has to use until she's done are Cookie Dou and Mint Choco. My blessed children. Keep them safe.

 

[Kadew]

Man this looks like it's going to be a fun delightful mess. I hope you catch a hundred geodudes, just for robo. But nah your current set of catches looks pretty fun! Old rod becomes a million times more interesting in a randomizer, lets you really get stuff from those random ponds in some towns. And I love your naming theme. I really hope you can take Mint Choco all the way bc I always have terrible luck with keeping baby pseudo legends alive in my randomizers.

 

[Kieran Tasima]

God, I... I love this? This is so perfect in just. Everything. Especially the thread title. But also just everything in general.

Spoiler: And now, for a spoiler box, just in case.

So! Many! Babies! I love them. They're so good. I approve of Cookie Dou and Mint Choco being the required ones because yes indeed they are Very Good Children and I just want to hug them. I love that Mint Choco is in a premier ball, too.

Also, the caps on VANILLA were indeed necessary. Very much so.

 

[kittenrobotarmy]

i literally do not give a shit you fucking bladder evacuation

I'm gonna need a fucking bladder evacuation at this rate this is hilarious

 

[Mattelonian]

his name is Stinky Pete

 

[Serranade]

Dies dramatically, you say?

I can't wait for Quick Claws to be absolutely everywhere.

 

[Paine]

What words can begin doing this justice?
None.
None words.

This is a terrifying premise and I am terrifiedly anticipating the next portion, god-fuckin-speed y'all

 

[Second]

So a four-person relay nuzlocke sounds like the perfect opportunity for no one to understand anyone else's intended strategies, ever, and all die in a fire.

In other words, I'm delighted!

 

[Jimcloud]

Spoiler: Replies (spoilers for those of you who haven't read)

Man this looks like it's going to be a fun delightful mess. I hope you catch a hundred geodudes, just for robo. But nah your current set of catches looks pretty fun! Old rod becomes a million times more interesting in a randomizer, lets you really get stuff from those random ponds in some towns. And I love your naming theme. I really hope you can take Mint Choco all the way bc I always have terrible luck with keeping baby pseudo legends alive in my randomizers.

Yeah I'm really excited for this one! There have been a lot of nice boys... I'm so hyped.... and I am excited to use some new mons. I really hope Mint Choco is okay...

God, I... I love this? This is so perfect in just. Everything. Especially the thread title. But also just everything in general.

Spoiler: And now, for a spoiler box, just in case.

So! Many! Babies! I love them. They're so good. I approve of Cookie Dou and Mint Choco being the required ones because yes indeed they are Very Good Children and I just want to hug them. I love that Mint Choco is in a premier ball, too.

Also, the caps on VANILLA were indeed necessary. Very much so.

Thank you! It's so much fun.

GOD. FUCKING. VANILLA. Useful, but at what cost. The rest of them are all perfect kids though I'm so fucking happy.

I'm gonna need a fucking bladder evacuation at this rate this is hilarious

oh same? I feel it

his name is Stinky Pete

What a better world you live in.

Dies dramatically, you say?

I can't wait for Quick Claws to be absolutely everywhere.

Holy SHIT I'm gonna fucking CRY what the FUCK, oh my god!!

Yeah me too, honestly, I am living for this claw coverage.

What words can begin doing this justice?
None.
None words.

This is a terrifying premise and I am terrifiedly anticipating the next portion, god-fuckin-speed y'all

Honestly, I feel the same way. I was trying to describe the concept and i was like "god where do I even start with this really"

Same! Big same! And I can't even fucking read it yet!!! Thank you.

So a four-person relay nuzlocke sounds like the perfect opportunity for no one to understand anyone else's intended strategies, ever, and all die in a fire.

In other words, I'm delighted!

No that about covers it I think, yeah! It's so stupid and so much fun! I'm loving this shit.

I love you all, thank you so much for reading, we're having a blast here and I'm glad y'all are enjoying it too. Robo's about to post the next part, but I wanted to go ahead and respond to your messages first, since, well, obviously I'm the one who played and posted the last update. This is probably how we're gonna do it, like, standardly from here. The other person can reply to general purpose stuff though, obviously, or anything they want to after reading the updates beforehand LMAO

Godspeed, Robo. Don't kill my pokemon or i will cry rivers.

 

[Robo]

Hi I'm Robo and Geodude killed my cat and called me a slur. I'll be the hostess of this brain cell up until Roark! Let's get that fuckin bread!!

Also! From this point on none of us can read each others parts, so if you're going to respond something that involves spoilers, please use a spoiler tag! You can do that by doing this: [ISPOILER] [/ISPOILER]

Spoiler: Part 2!!!

Now, let’s ignore the fact that I forgot to take a screenshot of the first screen earlier and had to backtrack to do it, and the fact I’m in the middle of changing my watch settings so y’all don’t get spoiled for a new teammate and see what Jim got for us!

Here are the bois!! Jim passed me the rom before they did the first update, so this is the first time I get so see any of these Pokemon! Level 11 though wow…

[5:56 PM] Robo: I love how you take me as some god of death jimberly
[5:56 PM] Jimcloud: ujLUNFLKJFLN
[5:56 PM] Jimcloud: robo im fear to what you will do to my children
[5:56 PM] Robo: God you grinded them up to 11 you already baby proofed the house
[5:57 PM] Jimcloud: I HAD TO

So! Here are the two Pokemon that I legally have to use. Cookie Dou is pretty basic, it’s like… a mild sauce at Taco Bell. Only a little bit spicy because it’s a Zigzagoon in Sinnoh, but still very little Spiciness to be seen. I’m a girl who prefers her fire sauce, or diablo sauce if I’m really feelin some spice so having Cookie Dou on my team isn’t really something I look forward to, even if she has pick up.

And as for Mint Choco? Oh I’m fucking terrified. Jim mentioned how Mint Choco is their BABY and I never took care of a baby, especially a worm baby! What do I do with it, let it eat dirt? Support its noodle head when I cradle it in my arms? Now it’s crying and I don’t know what she needs, oh god i am a terrible mother. I’ll just give her a pacifier and hope that helps stop the tears.

Now HERE’S a Pokemon I got my eyes on. A goddamn beedrill with a ridiculous name, fastest way to my heart right there. You can tell this dude is a badass, he probably got like a really cool scar running down his face so you KNOW he’s in business. You can’t even laugh about how his name is fucking TuttiFruti because you know you’re gonna die if you do. I love him.

Now enough rambling, let’s get a FUCKING BOY YEAH!!!

…

…

…

And I was so excited to get a boy I forgot to take any screenshots until after I already caught it.

And lord what a disappointment it is. I mean, maybe if it was a Marill I would be alright, but this bitch? This is a friendship evolution and you think I got the time to walk 40000 steps so this guy can love me? Hell no, into the box it’s going to go!

But first, it’s going to need a name!

…

…

…

And I forgot to take a screenshot of this too. I’m. Very bad at this huh?

At least I can take a screenshot of this anytime. And now I get to go into my naming theme, flowers! Now since this is a nasty boy I had to look up some nasty flowers. And one name that stuck out to me is the Stinking Corpse Lily.

Animal Crossing fans, you know what the fuck this is. It’s official name is Rafflesia arnoldii, but come on. Stinking Corpse Lily is so much more funny. Which unfortunately doesn’t fit so Stink Lily! it is! Bitch doesn’t even have an attacking move. How pathetic.

And here’s what we could of- are you fucking kidding me is that a Slugma. You mean I could of gotten a GOOPY GIRL and I got stuck with some Azurill that faintly smells like a corpse? Fuck off. That Azurill is all the way back in the PC Box and I can still smell it.

Also Jim told me to take screenshots of trainer names cause they’re funny. The text goes away really fucking fast though so I was only able to get these two trainers out of all of route 203. I guess they’re in a rock band or something?

Upon seeing a sad little man trapped in a cocoon, TuttiFruti has a flashback to when he too, was a sad little man trapped in a cocoon. He shudders at the memory, but it’s okay. He’s free now. He’s got a leather jacket on he’s a cool guy who will never get bullied again for being a sad little man trapped in a cocoon.

Anyways, he kills the sad little man trapped in a cocoon with no effort.

Also god my friend’s are going to love me for this.

Also hey Jim?? You leveled these fuckers up too much this only took two turns to murder this little boy? Like god I know they’re scared of me touching their Pokemon but I don’t need this much bubble wrap.

And it’s at this moment i noticed that we are currently holding TWO air mail. Now normally mail is useless, but in this nuzlocke? I can send little messages to the unfortunate person that goes after me, in this case Umber, and it will be fun! We can’t really communicate otherwise.

I took this moment to talk about how much I love TuttiFruti. He’s so cool, he got a cool scar, a leather jacket, and is smoking hella cigarettes cause he’s that cool I love him. Unfortunately I can’t say that “I love this Beedrill” because wow you are limited with mail, so I hope Umber understands what I mean by “It might be LOVEY-DOVEY”. Seriously though, it’s like I’m writing a letter using magazine clippings like they do in the movies, but I only have two pages so Umber just gets an incomprehensible letter thrown through their window.

And with that we make it into this cave! And a new route means a new fuckin boy!! God please let it be better that Azurill-

OH HELL TO THE YEAH!!!

I’m honestly kinda shook because in the SAME phonecall that we decided we’re going to do this hell, Umber and I had a very serious debate about the Pokemon Golem. It got heated. We both said things we regret. Anyways, at the end my good friend Umber mentioned how I feel about the Pokemon Glalie and I was like “Fuck yeah Glalie is cool!” and Umber greatly approved of that opinion. So to get a Snorunt like an hour after that?? Clearly God was watching to bless us with such a man.

Time to name this BOY! I went with Sarcodes, which is one of these:

According to wikipedia, these...things are commonly called the snow flower, which is why I went with it because. Snow flower. Snorunt. I’m creative. Anyways, it’s apparently unable to photosynthesize, so it attaches itself to a fungi and sucks out all of it’s nutrients. My hope for our little Sarcodes is he too will suck out the nutrients of the enemy Pokemon. Yeah that sounded really fucking weird but you get what I’m saying.

I backtrack a bit and decide to get rid of VANILLA in favor of our new son. VANILLA is… well vanilla. He’s the type of guy you go on one date with who is completely devoid of personality. He’ll mention how he’s a modest fan of football and lives for his 9-5 work job. You slowly nod your head, trying not to go to sleep on how absolutely BORING he is while you shove as many french fries into your purse as possible because Red Robin doesn’t let you order 50 of their bottomless fries to carry out. Fuck you Red Robin I want ALL of your fries stop LIMITING me they are suppossed to be BOTTOMLESS!!!

Uh, anyways we say goodbye to VANILLA.

Talented boy! Boy of many talents!

I take this moment to write a letter to my good friend Umber about our shared love for this boy.

I really wanted a “hey stinky!” but I suppose. This will do.

Yay!

Of course I had to see who else we can encounter in this cave and! Yeah we def got the best Pokemon here.

Don’t talk to me I want to Pokemon


Anyways it’s at this point Jim posted their update and I was able to read what shenanigans they got into. Now before y’all yell at me, we agreed we’re able to read the first update so we can have a frame of reference of how this is gonna work. And I just want to clear a FEW things up

1. I am not a horrible death machine that Jim claims. I do not have laser death eyes, I am Very Talented at Pokemon and my only flaws are not liking to grind and having too much faith in my Pokemon. I am going to make DAMN sure I’m not gonna be the bitch who kills of the first Pokemon in this run.
2. Yeah I’m going to kill a Geodude if someone catches it. Those fuckers got no business on my good Christian team
3. 

YEAH I BACKTRACKED TO GET THIS ITEM FUCK YOU JIM YOU DON’T KNOW ME!!!

Finally we’re not overleveled

Trainers!

UHHHHH HEY I DON’T LIKE THIS

THANK GOD IT DIDN’T KNOW ANY SATANIC WOBBUFFET MOVES OTHERWISE SARCODES WOULD OF BEEN SARCODEAD

Although I was only 1 PP away from being locked out of my ONLY DAMN ATTACK MOVE and had to deplete all of my leers and double teams so I could struggle the bitch to death.

LEAVE ME ALONE I WANT TO POKEMON!!!!!!

I guess we didn’t randomize trades? I was hoping for something buckwild like a Skitty for I don’t know. Arceus. It would take a god for me to give away my cat too.

No.

MORE IMPORTANTLY IT’S TIME TO GET OURSELVES A NEW BOY AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA???????

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

I WAS SO EXCITED I FORGOT TO SCREENCAP THE NAMING SCREEN THIS IS SUCH A GOOD FUCKING BOY HOLY SHIT

Everyone meet my new SON Lotus named after the Lotus flower.

It’s an aquatic plant that has a lot of importance in religion and stuff. I would make a religion out of my new fish son.

He’s a little shy boy but that’s ok!! I’m sure TuttiFrutti can take him under his wing and teach him how to be cool! After all we got a cool scar, a leather jacket, smoking some cigs, and some cool sunglasses!

Get the FUCK off the team Pistachio.

Here’s what we could of got and hey why the actual FUCK IS THERE A METANG HERE
WHO ALLOWED THIS TO HAPPEN

FUCK YEAH MORE MAIL!! I’ll let Umber have this one so they can send a message to Bay if they want.

Now! I’m LEGALLY allowed to capture one (1) more Pokemon before I hand this off to Umber.

Let’s see what we-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA????????
CUBONE IS ONE OF MY FAVORITE POKEMON???????

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I went with the name Peony cause look at it!

It’s such a good fucking flower!! A good boy needs a good flower!
But hey Jim fuck you for making me keep the Zigzagoon when I could of had my SON on the team. Ah well, he can stay in the box for now.

Other potential captures. A duskull would of been AMAZING, I always wanted to use a Dusknoir they’re so fuckin fat I love them.

The fact that this happened and I didn’t even bat an eye is probably the reason why my friends don’t trust me with their Pokemon huh.

Anyways Sarcodes managed.

Man if I was a rich girl you wouldn’t catch me dead wearing some ugly ass jumpsuit…

Roark showing off his BDE by smashing a rock, impressive. Something I totally needed to see.

Anyways, Jim was nice enough to train everyone up to level 11 so that means I don’t have to grind! I told Jim and Bay on voice call that I’m going in and they were all very concerned at our Pokemons levels. But I’ll show them I’m not a hoe to be taken likely.

ANYWAYS LOTUS KILLED ALL OF THE TRAINER POKEMON AND ONLY LOST A LITTLE HEALTH???? HE IS A BEAST AND I LOVE HIM.

TIME TO FUCK UP RO- Er uh… Tristian I guess? This is embarrassing, I’ve been calling him Roark this whole time.

And he’s a biker? Alright then.

So first up was a Nidoran and- oh fuck it knew double kick. That’s. Not fucking good!! Lotus’ bite only did about half health, but luckily rough skin managed to fuck Nidoran up a bit.

Anyways, Lotus outsped so it’s okay. It’s okay! I’m sure Bay and Jim and maybe Umber will be yelling at me for this later but it’s okay he outsped.

So next up was Rhyhorn and. Hm. I really didn’t have much for it, like most of my guys only know normal moves and shit you know? I’m just going to assume that Rhyhorn doesn’t know any rock type moves yet and send out Sarcodes for the super effective ice attack.

Hm!! I don’t trust like that!

HM!! I DON’T TRUST LIKE THAT!!! THAT WAS ONE WHOLE STOMP YALL!!

It’s okay though. I outsped.

Oh. If it isn’t my mortal enemy, a member of the Geodude line. What a fitting final boss to my part of the run. I promised I was going to kill every Geodude I see, and I’m not going to fail here.

Now, time for my five step plan on how to kill a Graveler because they’re ugly and you don’t want to look at them. Take notes everyone!

Step 1) Heal Lotus. He’s a strong powerful boy, and if I can’t use TuttiFruti to kill my mortal enemy, I need to use my other son.

Step 2) Blind that fucker. He won’t even see his own death coming.

Step 3) Show time

Step 4) Ignore the fact that Graveler is being a COWARD ASS BITCH trying to hide behind defense curl and BITE HIS ASS ANYWAYS

Step 5) Victory. Let your fish son bathe in the rubbled remains of your foe.

And with that...I WIN!! MY VICTORY!! FUCK OFF JIM AND BAY, DOUBTING MY POKEMON SKILLS. I DID ALL THAT WITHOUT A SINGLE DEATH! SOMEONE ELSE IS GOING TO CAUSE THE DOWNFALL OF THIS TEAM AND IT SURE AS FUCK AINT GONNA BE ME!!

AND THAT ENDS MY SECTION, UMBER MY PAL IT’S ALL YOU!! THANK YOU ALL FOR READING AND GOOD NIGHT!!!

And putting this outside of spoilers for their sake, but Umber! You’re required to keep both TuttiFruti and Lotus on your team but it’s okay! They’re both strong boys who will carry you through victory!

 

[Cirr]

This sounds great already

Spoiler

end the game with all the quick claws pls

Mint Choco is the cutest

and then I get ninja'd by the next? part?

Spoiler

the mails are works of art

that metang in the wild though

Catches look great so far!

 

[Serranade]

If I had to guess Ponyta is the reason for Metang being there, because MAN Ponyta's BST is high. Doesn't prevent it from being bad, but you know. I'm actually glad it didn't show up first because catching a member of the Beldum line is actually fucking awful when you have nothing but pokeballs since they have the standard legendary catch rate of Fuck All!

Surprisingly Tristian's gym still was rock-typed, plus Nidoran. Interesting.

 

[HalfTimeShow]

This is going to be a fucking trainwreck, I love it.

 

[Sheepscope]

Spoiler

Crying is not an emergency
Peepo

Jim, you guys are killing me here! XD

RIP early female Combee

👀 @ Dratini

The Metang probably replaced the Ponyta, so RIP.

I'm just going to quietly disagree about Golem, my rock friend. <3

Honestly, I don't bat an eye at that either, as long I notice in time. Yikes!

[/spooder]

*concerned for Lotus*

 

[Kieran Tasima]

Spoiler: Comments Within

SARCODES IS A GOOD BOY!!!

Listen, I heckin love Glalie. One of my favorite pokemon. Bless Sarcodes, I love him.

Also, I genuinely love the use of mail. Please keep this up, it's wonderful.

 

[Glace]

Spoiler: for jim

BABYABYABYABYABAYBBYABYAYBBY NOOODLE BABYBYBAYBABY NOODLE!!!! BABY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! also i love the naming theme! its v cute and sweet and BABY

Spoiler: for the goddess of death i mean uh robo

i know i already said this but again i have to stress how much your playing style stresses me. it terrifies me. "I am Very Talented at Pokemon and my only flaws are not liking to grind and having too much faith in my Pokemon." that's how people die robo. that kills them. i am so very afraid but also you're right tutti fruitti would have a leather jacket

 

[Pika]

congrats on the snorunt boy!! i'm partial to froslass so i would've been glad if that was the route we took, but glalie is a very solid champ
if he makes it that far

 

[DasUnicorm]

Oh this is turning out to be an absolutely delightsome read and I can't wait to see what sort of mess you guys spin out of this

 

[Squiggy Azalea]

i am Fucking Excited for how this run is going to fare OMG
can't wait to see how everything will go on ❤❤❤

 

[Glaedr]

Spoiler: Robo Plays

Mfw watching Robo have multiple close calls, but she still pulls through 'cause she's a Pokemon master. My doubt was unfounded. Arceusspeed Sarcodes!
Is there no speed up button on ds emulators? If so, I totally understand hating the grind.

This run is so good! I wish I had as many brain cells as you guys collectively have.