Screenshot Fan Game Mature Commentary The Terribly-Titled Nuzocke of Pokemon Rejuvenation: Part 3: Chapter 87 - West-Side Story (07/11)

Thread Description
A heroic tale of love, loss, anger, more loss, a LOT more anger and a great number of idiot induced headaches. Welcome to the wild ride that is Pokemon Rejuvenation!

No-name

Member
Pokédex No.
603
Caught
Jul 31, 2019
Messages
24
In my experience at least the game gets WAY more enjoyable once Terajuma + the "Back to the past" stuff is over.

BTW remember that guy who gave you Emotion Powder when you entered Valor Mountain? Probably not. But go read that chapter,you will see him in the beginning.

He becomes somewhat important later on! In v12....

The spoiler isn't a spoiler If you finished v12.

Reply to your reply ;
Well,you technically don't NEED a claim, It would probably make the people accept your rule easier.

So when's "Snakewood Log Number 7 ?
 
Last edited:

spikesgirl1

Lugia Worshiper
Pokédex No.
446
Caught
Jul 9, 2019
Messages
10
Pokémon Type
Fire, Ghost
Oh man, Disneyland/World is the one thing I'd recommend visiting the US for! And I say that even though I now live here. lol

I mean, I adore Smash and Banjo and Conker, but this begs the question: have you played ANY game by Rare, Sean? Genuinely curious.

Even if I wasn't sick right now, that bed gif is a big mood.

Never been a fan of Garbodor's design, but I actually do like that shiny...

Your sarcasm towards Melia always makes me laugh. Especially in gif form. :D
 

Derogatory Trainer

The hero you don't need but you're getting anyway.
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
315
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
93
Nature
Adamant
Pokémon Type
???
Pokédex Entry
Wanted to be an Instagram whore but I got lost so now I do Reaction-Lockes.
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #763


Hello there.



As you can see I'm still in my pajamas in the middle of the day in the middle of the week.



It's raining and I have the day off. What else would I do but become Comfy Sean?

Well as comfy as I can be with this shit chair.

Getting a new one soon though.

...

Why the fuck am I even telling you all this? I doubt any of you are heavily invested in my office furniture.

ANYWAY REPLIES!

YOU WANT 'EM? I GOT 'EM!



Okay, I actually laughed pretty hard at the Spider-Sludge song because I compulsively sing that song whenever I remember it.
That's the reasonable thing to do.
As long as it's in your head.
Nobody likes the guy who bursts out singing.


In my experience at least the game gets WAY more enjoyable once Terajuma + the "Back to the past" stuff is over.

BTW remember that guy who gave you Emotion Powder when you entered Valor Mountain? Probably not. But go read that chapter,you will see him in the beginning.

He becomes somewhat important later on! In v12....

The spoiler isn't a spoiler If you finished v12.

Reply to your reply ;
Well,you technically don't NEED a claim, It would probably make the people accept your rule easier.

So when's "Snakewood Log Number 7 ?
It'll get better now that I don't have to see Melia and Venam every fucking day.
If they don't accept I will break them. Simple as that.
Plus I'm fairly sure I'm a ghost piloting a corpse so I doubt I could claim anything like that.

Oh man, Disneyland/World is the one thing I'd recommend visiting the US for! And I say that even though I now live here. lol

I mean, I adore Smash and Banjo and Conker, but this begs the question: have you played ANY game by Rare, Sean? Genuinely curious.

Even if I wasn't sick right now, that bed gif is a big mood.

Never been a fan of Garbodor's design, but I actually do like that shiny...

Your sarcasm towards Melia always makes me laugh. Especially in gif form. :D
If I ever get the urge to go stateside I suppose I will. I hate hot climates though and they're both in hot states.
Uhhhhh...
Donkey Kong Country for the Gameboy Colour? Back in 1998? Thaaaat counts right?
It's a mood I'm in every day. "Fuck reality, I sleep now"
I think my original joke was Melia just used purple trashbags to pretend that she made a shiny Pokemon.
It's an okay shiny sprite. I prefer Tsareena's in this honestly.




EW!

Did that garbage gourmand infect the entire fucking cave with its filth?

Or did it create this little hidey-hole itself, by melting the rock with its stomach acid?

And we're standing in a puke-hole?

...

This is one question I don't mind going unanswered.



Now where have those two bitches run off to?

Perhaps the creature has eaten them?



No such luck. Which is par for the course I suppose.



Oh hey. He's not dead.

Again.

Jury's still out on him having not been molested by the trash monster though.



I'm surprised that Zygarde cell can survive in this squalor..




And is this little bitch in front of me ever going to learn her fucking lesson about pots and black kettles?




I suggest you give him CPR, Melia.

Right now.

In front of Veronica.



MAKE HER WATCH.



Wait...why the fuck hasn't anyone thought to use Defog?



Remember? The move specifically created to clear weather effects on one route in one region for one generation of Pokemon?



How could ANYONE forget about Defog?




Veronica has gained the ability to see around corners apparently.



Now if only she could gain the ability to shut her fucking mouth once and a while then we'd probably get on better.



But not that much better.




The cube welcomes you, lost lamb of Zygarde.

Soon you will become part of my giant mecha.



And then they'll all pay...they'll all pay...




Well Kanon, I tried to be a good wingman and set you up but I guess the fish weren't biting today.

Or they prefer biting other fish instead of worms.



EYYYYYYYY!!!!




Like...the CSI miami guy?





Well we've already fought it once.

Not really cheating if I look now, is it?



"That's right Sean! You can do whatever you want! We loooove you"

Why thank you accurately depicted audience surrogate!

I love you too.



Okay so Poison/Dark we knew that.



Ridiculously high defences, we figured that. Hell is it just me or does the Special Defense have a little extra bit of green to it?



Stench...what does Stench do? All I remember is it decreasing Wild Encounter rates...but that's hardly useful here.



Now onto the backstory.



Zetta being a petty little asshole. Sure that's reasonable.

Its efforts were not valued by me at all, considering that we have no proof it even did anything.



I KILLED THAT GYARADOS! ALRIGHT? ME!




And now I'm going to kill this freak as well.

GONNA MURDER IT GOOD!





You've barely interacted with this thing, Melia.

It literally attacked you the first time you met.

I suppose it is yours considering you created it by littering.



I'm still trying to work the logistics of how the hell that works even now after three years but whatever.



You don't have a fucking "U" in your name!

You're only supposed to say "Garbo, Garbo" because that's what you are.

Pure Garbo.




Never really thanked me for that either.



If anything you've punished me for it.




Oh boy here comes the rant fuel...I can feel the anger swelling inside me!




*SNNNORRRRTTT*



OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH BAAAAAAAAAAAABBBBBBBBBBBBBYYYYYYYYYYYYY!!!

THAT'S THE FUCKING STUFF! JUST THE RIGHT BULLSHIT TO SET ME OFF!

RIGHT! LET'S HAVE A QUICK RECAP ABOUT GOLDENWOOD FOREST AND OUR "HERO" SHALL WE?


okay now.



I will admit that Garbodor was there at the time and that Melia said it was "fighting that thing off"




The Garbodor appearing in time to I assume get Melia away from Zetta. I'll give it THAT much.




Even then I was incredulous over how it was still fighting a beaten Pokemon.

But I was young and less hateful back in those days...oh how I long for them...back when Narcissa was the ultimate evil...



But why?

Why was that necessary when literally EVERY following Rift Pokemon has been destroyed after beating it in battle?

And let's look at the statistics here.




Rift Gyarados is confirmed as the weakest Dimensional Rift monster so far encountered. It's literally not even a real Gyarados. Just some Magikarp fused into a twisted facsimile of one.



So why would it survive a battle when the other stronger Rift Pokemon did not? Explain that to me.

Also give me praise for using "facsimile" correctly.



*GASP*



How DARE you fucking speak for me like that!



That plump pile of poop can be your hero if you want.

But it's not mine and never will be.



Hell by all rights I should be yours and Venam's fucking hero but do I ever get appreciation? Nooooo.

Amber gave it to me as easy as you could but you two...oooohhhh you two must have some massive problem with me.



Well that was the rant.

I hope you all enjoyed my outburst.



I'd like to say it won't happen again but we all know that'd be a big fucking lie.

Game just likes pushing my large amount of buttons.




Oh...

Ohohohohohoho...




IF ONLY SOMEONE FOUND A DIARY DETAILING JUST HOW TO DO THAT!

WHY THAT PERSON WOULD HAVE THIS "HERO" AT HIS OR HER MERCY!



IF ONLY...



Oh wow. I actually get a choice?

That's something new.




Well guess Garbodor will soon be Garbo-NO MORE!




Wait. Let me come up with a better one-liner.




I guess it's time to take out THE TRASH.




Gahhhh that's too cliche...gotta think of something better...

"GARBAGE DAY?" Hmmm...doesn't feel right...



Mayb-





...



Oh my fucking god I hit the wrong answer.



NO! NO! NO! I WANTED IT TO FUCKING DIE GODDAMMIT! AAEERRRUGGUHUH!




AAAAGGGGGHHHHHHHHH!!!!



RESISIT SEAN! RESIST THE PUPPETEER'S STRINGS!

AAAAAARRRRRGGGHHHHHH!!!!



...

I lost it.

Normally I'd fucking restart but the last time I saved was before I went to the past so...yeah.



Not willing to relive Infinite Nuggets ever again, thank you.



FUCK.

JUST FUCK IT ALL.




Oh fuck off. Don't make it sound like you're doing ME a favour, you skank.



*Melia reading noises*



*Melia reading noises*



*Melia reading noises*



*Melia reading noises*



*Melia exclaiming noises*





Well I found it in a basement in the past.



And then Madame X time-travelled into the room and stole a different book off of me that was apparently claiming someone as the saviour of the world.

In any other game I would assume it was me but I've learned my lesson by now.

So congratulations for saving the world in advance, I guess.



There's more things wrong than right in this world, Veronica.



C'est desolé ...



And will Sean get thanked for bring about this perfection?



Survey says...?



"Not a fucking hope!"

Well who would have thunk it?

Oh that's right.

EVERYONE!





OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE!!!!



WHY DOES THIS GAME KEEP ASSUMING I'M A SLACK-JAWED FUCKTARD!?!?

I LITERALLY READ THAT IT WAS POSSIBLE IN THE BOOK IN AN EARLIER CHAPTER!



FUCK OFF YOU LITTLE EXCLAMATION BITCH!



Yeah...



I think that's the first time I've ever actually CUT something with this sword...




*GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP*



Yey.



Yey...



Do we join hands to pray the gay away?

The gay being the dimensional evil because I couldn't find anything to rhyme with pray that made sense in this context.






I could probably figure it out but then again I'm probably not the one being asked.



Jesus...that means she's asking VERONICA.

Just how desperate is she to fix Garbodor?





So you're telling me this whole time...



THIS WHOLE FUCKING TIME!

YOU'VE BEEN THIS STUPID BY CHOICE?!?!?



MY GOD WHAT A FUCKING THING TO ADMIT!




She did mean it that way.



You're as thick as pigshit, Veronica.




LIKE EVERY OTHER FUCKING MOMENT HUH!?



I swear to god if Jan tries to make it seem like Veronica ISN'T the dumb asshole she 100% is, I'm going to actually hunt him down and cut his ears off.

I don't know why his ears but I'll fucking do it I swear.





When the hell was that?

--

The only times you two were together were when you fought me and Melia and when you were fretting over her unconscious body and then Saki left.

...



In hindsight I know realise what a bad idea it was to leave Melia's unconscious body with you and not have any witnesses...

Oh well.

No skin off by back.



And why the hell were you going through her journal?



Planning on stealing another one of your friends things? Perhaps you were going to pretend the inventions were yours and sell the patents before Saki can?

Not that that'd be a massive crime. Saki's rich as fuck.



Hell if Melia wasn't an unemployed leech you'd be the poorest of all your friends.



"I wish Saki was here"

Imagine someone actually saying that.

Although after all that's happened I'd probably prefer her company over tweedle-dee and tweedle-dum here.





Excuse me aren't you the wonder child who built a Snag machine in cave with a box of scraps?

Or something to that effect?

What, did being sent to the past make you stupider as well as weaker?



I suppose THAT'S not really your fault.

Anybody would deteriorate working for that organisation of idiots.




Saki has a type, does she?




How nice of you to contribute something for once.

Even if that something is serving as a glorified text-message.



And so Veronica went to get Erick, who stayed behind earlier and trusted complete strangers on solving the problem for him.
























Shame we couldn't just throw Dimensional Pokemon in that Secret Spring like we do for Shadow Pokemon, huh?

I don't think purifying the culmination of crap back there, would be a good idea though. It'd probably pollute the spring and turn normal Pokemon into Shadow ones.




"We can do anything if we let Sean do it!"





So beat the shit out of it until it surrenders?

Again?




Yeah I'm not wasting even a complimentary Premier Ball on this fucking thing.

I wanted it dead to begin with.



No they can't, because the Dimensional Rift register as a trainer somehow.

And god forbid we break the "don't be a thief" barrier.



I can see it now.

If that barrier comes down chaos will be unleashed. Trainers will lose the ability to instantly teleport and deflect Pokeballs aimed at their Pokemon, Veronica will steal even more Charizards and other such terrible things that I can't make up right now will happen.





Beast balls then?

I've never played Sun and Moon but wasn't there something about Ultra Beasts being Pokemon from another dimension?



Someone call that blonde maniacal MILF from Aloha!




Well first it reverts to a little green Grimer and then the object but go on...





That's...a weird requirement to have...



So it's using the energy in the bomb to regenerate itself?






Feels odd seeing someone actually mention HP in conversation like this...

Do humans have HP?



Oil? So it powered itself like an engine?





Thank you Spacea, for giving this monster an almost infinite source of power to regenerate from.





Well at least it didn't use Kanon as a substitute and tried to power itself by draining his life-force.

...



Damn I kinda wish it did that instead. No way would I have to "save" it if it was actively killing someone. And Melia wouldn't choose it over Kanon.

...

I think.



All I'm saying is that every friend- group she inserts herself into ends up disintergrating one way or the other.

Pretty soon she'll replace Kanon, just like she did with Ren, Venam, Val and Aelita.

This girl is a heartless monster.




Something Melia and Venam have in common.

Always draining my victories of any real feeling of accomplishment...always draining me of any joy...



They're basically Dementors at this point. Just disguised as teenage girls.






But there's also a possibility of this backfiring horribly and killing the Garbodor and everyone here except me, right?

I want some chance of getting what I want after all.






"Then WE have no other choice"

"I guess WE gotta"

"Hey Sean do all the work thanks ;)"



You two sicken me.



Right then you dynasty of diarrhoea.

It's time for a cleasning.

Hopefully one of the religious genocide variety as well as the soapy bubble one.



Ah shit, here we go again.




Son of a bitch!



Of course it's in a fucking Poison Cave field. Ugh I forgot all about that one.



Well this just got a lot less easy.

Still Bombadier might as well get a good hit in before I switch him out.



Oh Garbodor! You've got a delivery for you!



COURTESY OF AMBER VON BRANT!




YOU FEELING THE HEAT NOW, YOU SLIMY SLUDGEBALL!?



Shit.

LITERALLY!



AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA!




HAHAHAHGAGGLGLGAFAHALHDLAH!




Ha! Was that it? That's just sad.




Well I guess every dog has it's day...




Okay stop please.






OH MY GOD I COMPLETELY FORGOT YOU HAD THAT!

That's so lucky!




That, however is the opposite.



Uuuuuugggghhhh...

The fucking field poisons grounded Pokemon.

Well...



It's been an honour blowing things up with you, Bombadier.



I really fucking hate this thing.







...



Well that was upsetting.

And after I already beat it without any deaths before.



I ain't throwing Rose out this time though.

I don't want to risk it killing her in one blow since this thing is fucking broken.



-BOOM-



I love that move.

Especially combined with No Guard.




YES. CHOKE ON YOUR OWN FILTH, YOU...CRAPTABULOUS CRETIN!



I don't need fucking grammar lessons from a meat-head like you, Bluster!

Keep up the punches!




Fight through the pain!

There's no point in doing that. If I heal you the field is going to poison you again and I'll have wasted both a turn and an item.

So metaphorically suck it up and chop this thing's nuts off!




YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN!

JUST CHOP ANYWHERE YOU CAN!






LET ME ON YOUR SHOULDERS, BLUSTER! I'M NOT GETTING THAT SHIT IN MY FACE AGAIN!




Wow this was a great plan!

For me.



Wow, you're surprisingly resistant to that.

Which is weird considering Turntonators and Machamps have the same Special D...



Guess you're made of stronger stuff than I thought, meathead!






Into the bucket, dear.



...

I now see that this isn't a bucket but my wastebasket.

My waste basket with thousands of little holes in it.

...



It never ends, does it?





Nice.

You've done great work, Bluster!

Now take five and wipe off all that puke!



Go, go, Gustav!



FIRE THE ICE!



Yes.

Just...just do it please.

I have a plan.




Ah forgot this thing had a Grass Move.




Whoops?




...

Use Ice Beam one more time.







Hah! See? Everything went according to my plan!



HAHAHA DAMN RIGHT!



(hoooollyyyyyy shit that was so lucky)




And back you come. Time for Vahlen to get her revenge.



Yeah you just go ahead and stay there you...uh...you...

...

YOU FRATERNITY OF FERMENTATION!



Outta the park.



It's complete bullshit that Garbodor still gets the free field heal while frozen.



Send him crying home to momma, Vahlen! And since that's Melia make sure we make this a massacre!





THAT was a crit?

Oh boy...
















Guess I better give her ANOTHER Ether...






Arrivederci.






Phew! That was a long chain of uninterrupted Superpowers!



Nah go ahead and take a break. Probably won't need you for a long while after this anyways.

Hah. It also sounds like you're starting to like fighting for me. What happened to me being a stinky human?



Excuse you, you cheeky little shit.

I always come out of things smelling like roses!



...



*sniff*

...

...

...

This game doesn't have smellovision and yet I can no longer feel my nostrils.

THAT'S how bad I smell.




Tell me about it.




Oh for fuck's sake not this fucking line again.



THAT SAYING DOESN'T WORK WHEN THE TASK GETS MADE INFINITELY MORE DIFFICULT!



WE COULD HAVE JUST DROPPED THE BOMB IN THE OCEAN AND ERICK WOULD HAVE BEATEN GARBODOR BEFORE WE EVEN GOT HERE IF THE BOMB WASN'T MOVED HERE!

SPACEA LITERALLY JUST MADE THE SITUATION WORSE!





"Did she mean we had to beat two birds to death with one stone?"

That's what it would be if she meant that saying literally, Melia!

I know you're a teenage "OMG Zetta literally ruined my life" type of girl but for come on...




Normally I'd make fun of you for not following along but here...here is the one time I won't mock you for it.



Oh good let's forget about Melia's brain shutting off for a few seconds there.








Hooookay.




*Paralyzed

It's not been turned into stone now, has it?



Oh so that's what that manbag you were carrying earlier was for.



So you don't have a constantly off-screen slave carrying all your belongings then? Veronica and Melia must have ones. I've never seen them carry anything.

Aside from the combined weight of their failures, that is.






Try and be a little more creative than that Erick. Call it "that sulphurous smoke" or "that mulch mist" at least.




Sigh.



Just let me end my suffering.

...



Ohhh.

Right.

The immortality.

My immortality.

The immortality that keeps me from dying.

Right.



No.

Melia did nothing, Venam beat up scientists after I already did.

Arguably Erick was the only slightly useful one for containing it.




This whole game feels like one big group project.

Where I do all the work and the others still get the good grades.



And all because I slipped and pressed the wrong button...

I would have been fine with just killing the blasted thing.




And then they hugged.

Disgusting.



Haha. Good luck getting any credit for helping, Erick. I've been barking up that tree for years. You'd be lucky to even receive a nod of appreciation.

Which is super unlikely given none of our sprites can move their heads independently.




...



Oh fuck you, Melia.




I kind gave up bothering with one myself.

Those goggles were from when I learned how to swim when I was like 9 or 10.



So yeah. Little constricting for my massive adult head.






I've always found fire to be a very good method for purifying things.

It worked wonders on Terajuma after all.



*Erick turns away dramatically for some reason*




Might as well. Need more HM privileges after all.

Because for some reason the only people restricted by them are me and Aelita.



Wait how did she get across Aquamarine cave with only one gym badge back before we left for Caratos?



PLOTHOLE ALEERR-



Wait neve rmind the teleporters were fixed by then.

Plothole withdrawn.



What are we appreciating again?

I was too busy thinking about people I actually like being around.






And if it does, I'll just beat it back into a slimy pulp.

And then pour bleach on it.



Excuse me but did you just agree with Melia?

That makes us sworn enemies now.

No matter how correct she was.




And then he left.



I'm sure somebody will force something new upon us soon enough, Veronica.

Don't be so fucking eager for more bullshit.



*seethes internally*




And if you call him a brat one more time I'm going to slap you.




I will assume the good idea you're referring to is me slapping Veronica.

I'm glad you approve of me beating her. About time you did something I agreed with.




I'm gonna smack you so fucking hard the second you give me the chance...



...

Ugh.

What a day.

















Heaven. Again.

And once again, I'm God.




Kanon, why do you keep looking to Satan every time we wake you up and say you're in heaven?

Do you want eternal salvation or not?



You're welcome.



Both because it was actually me that saved him and I was larping as God a few seconds ago.



And because I assume you see me as a godlike figure like so many other will soon.

...very soon...




THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY!??

IMMA HIT HER!



YOU ARE LITERALLY THE BEST POKEMON FOR DOMESTIC ABUSE! WHY ARE YOU STOPPING ME!?!?

VIOLENCE SOLVES EVERYTHING!




YUP!

WELCOME!



We've got overpopulation, laws that don't apply if you're rich enough, everybody having some form of (self-diagnosed) mental illness and Twitter!

Hope you enjoy before it all gets too fucking stupid and we get smited by the holy light of god.







Mind explaining that reason to the rest of us too?



Do you actually have the explanation or are you doing that thing where you placate someone with meaningless bullshit and then change the subject?

Because Spacea bringing him and the bomb here just risked an entire city blowing up.

Like there was literally no benefit to anyone. Erick would have had this in hand, were it not for her interference.




Huh.

Big surprise there.



Is Venam so sure she'll win the Meliabowl?

Hmmmm...





OH MY GOOOOOD...

Here's an BETTER idea, gang!



How about we DON'T listen to the ambiguously evil space goddess and listen to SEAN for once, hm?

Wouldn't that be crazy/the most sensible fucking thing to do?






...

Really?



All I understand is that Melia is making a lot of fucking assumptions on how a divine being thinks and acts.

Can't wait to see THAT blow up in her face.

Just like that bomb a few chapters ago.

Man...that was a good memory...


















What you didn't believe the game when the green fog filter lifted?




Oi! I'm the one who decides that missy!

I don't see you coming up with any good title names!



Or the book ends.

...



...

...



...



Nope. Guess the game is still going.





Hey.







Fucking kill her Karrina




Dooooo iiiiiittttt...






YES!

THAT'S WHAT I LIKE TO SEE! SOMEONE SLAPPING MELIA IN HER PERFECT BITCH FACE!!



She drinks when she thinks we can't see her. That might be it.

It's very worrying.





Yes, how DARE you keep these two obnoxious teenagers from possibly detonating a bomb killing thousands?

You're so difficult, Karrina.



Actually since we're on the topic of bitchslapping people...



YOU GET ONE.

ONE LAST CHANCE NOT TO PISS ME OFF.



DO NOT TEST ME AGAIN WITH YOUR "BRAT" COMMENTS AGAIN, YOU GOT IT!?!

GOOD!



Ahem.

Everyone ignore that please. Like you all usually do when I do terrible things.




I'm not.

I didn't have anything to do with it.



In fact you should really be thanking me for SAFELY sailing your yacht here.



If I didn't intervene you'd be salvaging that thing from the bottom of the harbour!



"B-baka, it's not like I wanted you to kick me in the head or anything"

Don't go down that road, Karrina.



Yep.

Just minus three people from "you all" and you'd be correct.



"Your city", eh?



Then this is "my planet" so bugger off and find a new one.




Oh thank the angels.

My heart can rest easy now.







Oooohhhhh boooyyyyyy...

This sounds like the prelude to our next big adventure!



Jesus the game isn't waiting around, is it?

It's only been two minutes since we sorted out the last crisis.



...



Who's reporting these thing to you?

Are you just watching the news like everyone else and are trying to pass it off like insider information?




Well...that's suspicious...



Could be any number of reasons for that though...a very ambitious serial killer for one.

But I doubt this game is going to go THAT far.



Although I can actually picture Veronica getting nabbed by a serial killer and it's a race against time to save her.

I say Veronica because all you have to do to lure her is wave a hot meal in her face and she's caught.

Bet she still won't say "thanks" after saving her as well.



"The killer makes furniture from their remains"

"IKEA FURNITURE!"



Uh oh.




Yeah...



Sounds like there's a wild Medusa roaming the dark alleys of Grand Dream City!

I wonder if I can catch it?




Thanks for the contribution, Kanon. You truly are a useful addition to the Sean Squad.




Is the Medusa a shiny? What are its IVs like?





Yeah, this game really hates it when people do that.



Gee thanks.



Glad you're comfortable letting us rush straight into certain danger.






OI! Just because we don't have a plan doesn't mean we do the first fucking thing someone suggests to us!

We should ask around! Maybe someone has a herd of Wooloo that need cuddling!



Yeah that trailer just came out as I write this.

Not sure about a lot of it, they still haven't fucking improved the battle animations from X&Y but it looks impressive enough.

But I don't have a Switch so...yeah...moot point really.




This is the worst kind of democracy.



The one where everyone votes against me.




You fuckers shouldn't even get a vote!

I'm worth way more than a 1/4 of this group!




Yeah I'd hold off on that call.

I'm not going on that train for at LEAST a month.





You could turn around and say that instead of trying to be cool, you know.






What a nice lady.

I liked the part where she hit Melia.




Either that or there's a lot of wet cement and a lot of drunk people in that city.





I've got it!

It was Mewtwo and Mew from the First Pokemon Movie.

Every single one of those people dived in front of a Psychic attack to stop the horrible violence.

Probably screaming:



"Pokemon aren't meant to fight! Not like THIS!"




BROTHER, MY BROTHER!

TELL ME WHAT ARE WE FIGHTING FOR?



ISN'T LIFE WORTH SO MUCH MORE?





I'm glad you can dictate what my unfinished business is.

I'm just so grateful that I'm not allowed any agency or a will of my own.



Oh right.



Well still. Don't tell me what my business is.




Oh how fucking kind of you.

More like you've got no choice to wait for me unless you want to lose 97% of our little group's fighting strength, Miss-I-still-only-have-five-Pokemon-even-though-I've-never-won-a-battle-by-myself-ever.




Joy. Another little group adventure.

Does anyone else remember when I went around on my own meeting new people?

Part One just seems so very long ago...




Yeah we ain't seeing them for a loooooong time.



Rejoice, my friends.

Sixteen or so Melia & Venam free chapters ahead of us!

That's right. After Erick, I'm going on fucking holidays.

See you next time for Erick's inevitable beatdown!
 

No-name

Member
Pokédex No.
603
Caught
Jul 31, 2019
Messages
24
I'd say after everything you did to save the region,the people would probably just GIVE you the throne.

BTW,Aelita is still in a coma after the whole "Garufa Dungeon under Caratos" adventure. In case you wanted remember that sorrowful memory.
Damn,Bombardier almost brought a few drops of tears out of me.

So when's "Snakewood Log Number 7 ?
 

spikesgirl1

Lugia Worshiper
Pokédex No.
446
Caught
Jul 9, 2019
Messages
10
Pokémon Type
Fire, Ghost
Guess I'll continue my commenting streak! Shame there haven't been more, though. :(

Ew, Defog. I hadn't realized how pointless it was til I finally played Gen 4 myself. So useless.

Ouch, misclicks suck. Wonder if anything would've actually happened if you said no, though? Most Pokemon games just circle you back to saying yes anyway.

Aw, RIP Bombardier. That was so lucky until it wasn't.

I, too, enjoyed Melia getting smacked around. But I'm gonna enjoy not having her or Venam around at all far more.
 

Time Master Eon

Active member
Screenshotter
Pokédex No.
398
Caught
Jul 6, 2019
Messages
155
Location
A place beyond space and time
Nature
Lax
Pronouns
He/Him
Pokémon Type
Bug, Fighting
Pokédex Entry
This Pokemon switches rapidly between passion and apathy
Beast balls then?

I've never played Sun and Moon but wasn't there something about Ultra Beasts being Pokemon from another dimension?
Kinda, UBs are creatures from other universes, though only some have an unknown fundamental difference from a Pokemon that requires a Beast Ball, as the more plot relevant ones can be caught with normal poke balls, though that may be because they weren't confirmed as UBs until the Ultra games.

My personal favorite is Guzzlord, it was created by an unknown incident in a power plant in a parallel Alola region. There is nothing it can't eat, and it digests it with 100% efficiency. by the time you see it's home universe, the human race has evacuated the planet and the one guy whose left tells you that its running out of food and is losing weight. Now, when you encounter this thing it weighs 1957 lbs. and that is dangerously underweight for these things, and oh yes, there are at least four individuals encountered and mentioned in the games. also, it is the only "Pokemon" confirmed not only to have killed a person, but to be killed by law-enforcement to protect people.
 

DestinyDragonGS

Some guy on the internet
Pokédex No.
455
Caught
Jul 9, 2019
Messages
183
Nature
Relaxed
Pokémon Type
Electric, Dragon
Pokédex Entry
This Pokemon is very relaxed and enjoys analyzing things. This Pokemon is also quick to snark at anything that gives it an opportunity
Gonna be honest I started tuning out Veronica a while ago. But I have to comment on how Jan somehow thought it was a good idea to give her a line similar to the one that pushed modern Patrick Star over the edge for so many people "You can't always expect my usual brand of stupidity. I like to mix it up keep you on your toes". Because yes saying that your unhelpful waste of space is being a complete waste of space on purpose is defiantly going to make her more endearing. Now obviously I'm overthinking it and she's probably just trying to seem smarter then she actually is but I thought it would be fun and it was.

Gotta love how Melia just throws you at the thing. But I'll let it slide for now as to be fair that thing would have decimated her entire team without effort so it was a smart move. An extremely annoying move but still a smart one. the real question is why didn't one of them help you. But to be honest we all know the worse part is that they're going to try and make you train Garbodor.

Part of me want's to be annoyed at the space goddess but another wants to see how ridiculous and impractical her plan is first.


This was what came to mind when I thought Madam X but not quite so sure anymore. But It might fit an enraged Crescent better.

Just seemed edgy enough to work.
 

Derogatory Trainer

The hero you don't need but you're getting anyway.
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
315
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
93
Nature
Adamant
Pokémon Type
???
Pokédex Entry
Wanted to be an Instagram whore but I got lost so now I do Reaction-Lockes.
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #768


Well...we all know what you're here to see.

That's right! The thrilling conclusion to the saga...



I finally got that new chair! Now all I have to do is wait for the fatal coccydynia I contracted from that other piece of shit chair to heal and I'll be good as new!



Okay with that gripping tale out of the way...

Let's find us some shock-absorbing Pokemon!



First a moment of silence for the last capture of Part Tw-

Oh wait.



That was Bon Bon...



Never mind then. Let Grenadier or whatever his name was fade into obscurity so.



I'd say after everything you did to save the region,the people would probably just GIVE you the throne.

BTW,Aelita is still in a coma after the whole "Garufa Dungeon under Caratos" adventure. In case you wanted remember that sorrowful memory.
Damn,Bombardier almost brought a few drops of tears out of me.

So when's "Snakewood Log Number 7 ?
Again. You make it seem like they'll have a choice. Anyway who knows? I might just fuck off to be a hermit like Red depending on how this all turns out.
I genuinely wonder how you think I could have forgotten that?
Of course I fucking remember losing the only honestly good human friend I have in this game.


Guess I'll continue my commenting streak! Shame there haven't been more, though. :(

Ew, Defog. I hadn't realized how pointless it was til I finally played Gen 4 myself. So useless.

Ouch, misclicks suck. Wonder if anything would've actually happened if you said no, though? Most Pokemon games just circle you back to saying yes anyway.

Aw, RIP Bombardier. That was so lucky until it wasn't.

I, too, enjoyed Melia getting smacked around. But I'm gonna enjoy not having her or Venam around at all far more.
This site doesn't seem to get as many comments on average as the other one. Probably have to build back up the numbers. Thanks for continuing to comment though! Always appreciated!
Only a real trainer shoots attacks blindly into the fog. Because we're brave or something.
Garbodor dies and Melia is sad. THE ONE TIME MY CHOICES COULD HAVE HAD A GOOD ENDING FOR ME!
Yeah it suck but I always use the age-old adage of "it could have been someone I really liked"
Smooth sailing from here on out. They only make a small appearance at the end of next chapter and that's it! We're temporarily free!

Kinda, UBs are creatures from other universes, though only some have an unknown fundamental difference from a Pokemon that requires a Beast Ball, as the more plot relevant ones can be caught with normal poke balls, though that may be because they weren't confirmed as UBs until the Ultra games.
My personal favorite is Guzzlord, it was created by an unknown incident in a power plant in a parallel Alola region. There is nothing it can't eat, and it digests it with 100% efficiency. by the time you see it's home universe, the human race has evacuated the planet and the one guy whose left tells you that its running out of food and is losing weight. Now, when you encounter this thing it weighs 1957 lbs. and that is dangerously underweight for these things, and oh yes, there are at least four individuals encountered and mentioned in the games. also, it is the only "Pokemon" confirmed not only to have killed a person, but to be killed by law-enforcement to protect people.
I see...I wonder if they have anything to do with the cataclysm this game keeps mentioning?
Jesus...the shift to 3-D definitely made Pokemon super bleak...
Guzzlord has by far the best backstory (although have you heard the anime scream? It's hilarious) but my favourite design-wise, is Celesteela. I was a big fan of the game Okami when I was younger and liked the Kaguya myth with the bamboo spaceship.

Gonna be honest I started tuning out Veronica a while ago. But I have to comment on how Jan somehow thought it was a good idea to give her a line similar to the one that pushed modern Patrick Star over the edge for so many people "You can't always expect my usual brand of stupidity. I like to mix it up keep you on your toes". Because yes saying that your unhelpful waste of space is being a complete waste of space on purpose is defiantly going to make her more endearing. Now obviously I'm overthinking it and she's probably just trying to seem smarter then she actually is but I thought it would be fun and it was.

Gotta love how Melia just throws you at the thing. But I'll let it slide for now as to be fair that thing would have decimated her entire team without effort so it was a smart move. An extremely annoying move but still a smart one. the real question is why didn't one of them help you. But to be honest we all know the worse part is that they're going to try and make you train Garbodor.

Part of me want's to be annoyed at the space goddess but another wants to see how ridiculous and impractical her plan is first.

This was what came to mind when I thought Madam X but not quite so sure anymore. But It might fit an enraged Crescent better.
Just seemed edgy enough to work.
If only my tuning out technique didn't suck. Instead of ocean sounds it's two cats fighting which is marginally better than listening to her next dumbfuck statement. Maybe she'll become endearing eventually but who knows if I'll ever accept it? I hold grudges way past a reasonable amount of time.

Melia is secretly an evil bitch. She KNOWS I'll beat the shit out of anything she aims me at (or at me) and is pretty much banking on me carrying her sorry ass all the way to the finish line. Oh no they're not. It's been put in a healing tube or something now. Plus fuck that I don't want it.
She had no fucking plan. It's never brought up again.

All it's missing are the harpsichord notes clanging in the background.
This is what I always thought Madame X's song towards the protagonist would be myself.



Okay...I've dropped off the sewer gang so they can all take a fucking shower.

Something I promise I will do when I beat Erick, I "sewear"

Hehe.

Okay back to bidness...someone good for an Electric Gym...



Mamoswine will be very useful.

I just have to pop over to Sheridan for a bit to teach Tusk Ancient Power but that's no biggie.

I'll bring Damocles too.

That silent motherfucker is pretty tough after all.



...



Yep. Still nothing.

You just gotta love quiet compliance. It's a nice change from the rest of them bleating in my ear about eating Melia, freezing the world or "why don't you use me much anymore?"



Bringing Coyote along because Erick has Wash-Rotom because of COURSE he does.

These fan-game Gym leader teams aren't that hard to figure out for the most part.

You just have to look at their type and how they could cover that type's weaknesses.



Like I'm gonna make a prediction here about his team

He's gonna have Wash-Rotom because that can counter ground types and is bullshit in general.



Probably that Eleketross shit as well. Only Pokemon more bullshit than Wash-Rotom.

Like why is THAT the only Pokemon to have no weaknesses?
It's a weird fucking used condom monster!

Electivire. No points to me for figuring that out obviously.

Maaaagnezone? That's a pretty strong Electric type. Also has Sturdy too. He could also run Alolan Golem at me.

Hmmmm...the last two...



Would Emogla be too weak for him to use at that level? It'd avoid ground moves and I remember them being annoying to fight in Black...but that was at Elesa levels...

He could use an Ampharos if this is the start of Gym leader's using Mega Evolutions on me...It'd make sense then.

Or instead of Emogla...Lanturn?

I'm only basing that one on him having a bullshit water field to boost himself the same way Valarie did for her Lanturn.



But if I freeze said bullshit water field...

He's in for a rough time and so is that possible Mega-Ampharos.

...

Unless it's the factory field.

Then fuck.



Just fuck.



Okay not you.

You need a shower.



Carnage...



Yes you'll do nicely!

We could use more new blood around here!

Er...I don't mean that in a "so let's spill his" kind of way now.

Last thing I want is losing another fighting type.



...

Well okay it's not the laaaast thing but it's...a close seventh?






Now I just need a Slakoth, a baby, a Raikou, Ray Romano and we've got ourselves a movie!



Okay.

Let's see what passes for a gym puzzle in these parts...




...

There was no gym puzzle.



But I WAS right about the water field!



Annoyingly it's the corrupted water field but I can deal.




What I can't deal with is why there's all this water up here!

There's a lot wrong with the perspective of this picture.

Like is the water below the building? Is it on top?

Is the water to the left connected to that on the right?




UGH.

It's hard to put into words!

And I'm usually good at that! But this place just looks off from a design standpoint.

Like where the fuck are these waterfalls coming from?

WHERE IS THAT WATER COMING FROM!?



Y'know what?



I'll draw a picture.

They speak a thousand words! Surely some of those will explain what I mean.



See? The Sea levels make no sense!



Huh.



Maybe was wrong about there being a gym puzzle?



Maybe the real puzzle is believing in yourself?



Oh wow it was!



How wholesome.



Huh.

There's even attachments to push the arena out of the water.

That's a nice touch.



Well I assume that's what Jan intended them to be.

Either that or this entire fucking island just magically appeared out of nowhere.

Stranger things have happened I suppose.



It's just odd to find magic in such an industrial place.





*groan*



Yes Erick.

I've played 6 Generations of Pokemon with Electric gyms. (Well 5 since Johto doesn't have one)

I GET IT.

SHOCKING LIKE IN THE SURPRISE BUT ALSO THE ELECTRIC CURRENT

ELECTRIFYING LIKE THE FEELING OF EXCITEMENT BUT ALSO THE ACTUAL ELECTRICITY!

IT'S. BEEN. DONE.



Let's just finish this so I can shower already.



Shouldn't take too long then...

I mean...don't worry, Erick.

I'll be gentle.



No.

No, I am not.




Erugh.



Why'd you have to say that?

Makes me regret that "I'll be gentle" comment now.



I can almost see the Pornhub title now...



...

Also why do you have horns?



Oh that's right. Have the usual ill-fitting musical accompaniment



No really.



Somebody explain the drill horns to me.

Is he a demon boy?



Also what the fuck is with his hair?



He's got like an 80's woman on top with a massive ponytail down his back.



God this is up there with the weird hairstyles. This game doesn't even have that many of them!

Not like Reborn with their massive anime fringes.



And one FINAL thing to point out...



WHY DO ALL THESE LEADERS HAVE SIDE JOBS?!?

IS AMARIA BLACK PAYING YOU IN ACTUAL FUCKING PEANUTS!?!?

GOD NO WONDER THIS REGION HAS GONE TO HELL!



Well I was right about the Magnezone at least.

Didn't expect the Raichu. They're not that stro-



Oh.



That's the new one isn't it? (Well three years ago new)

Alolan Raichu...Electric/Psyyyychic? I think?

It's not part Fairy anyway.



Well I fucking hope not.

This type match-up is already in Erick's favour as it is.



AW fuck.



I just remembered that Ground Moves are nerfed pretty hard on Water Fields.



I can freeze the field but then an Earthquake would break it.

Ugh. I'll have to save it for near the end of the battle then.

Damocles miiiight be okay with Earth Power at least.



Hmmmm...

I thiiiink I'll avoid boosting for now and see how much damage a regular brick Break does to Magnezone.

Chiller's upcoming Blizzard and Snow Warning should kill it as well.




OH FUCK ME WHY CAN NEARLY EVERY FUCKING POKEMON LEARN THAT GODDAMN MOVE!?!?

IT'S A FIGHTING MOVE! STOP GIVING THOSE PSYCHIC CUNTS THAT MOVE!



HOLY FUCKING FROZEN 2!

THAT'S LITERALLY ONLY 2 FUCKING HP!



JESUS FUCKING CHRIST HOW IS THE INTERN THIS FUCKING POWERFUL!?!?

Also I actually did the math and 24.7% of Pokemon can learn Focus Blast.

Now it's not "nearly every" like I said but that's still exactly 200 pokemon!

More than any one generation!




...

Fuck dude.

Uncalled for.



People have got to know these Focus Blast facts.




Hey! Nice that should be enough to knock him out with this following blizzard!




Well...the Hail will get him.



As long as this signal beam is aimed at Rose.



Oh it is! Great!

Not that Rose getting hurt is great but-



Well that's great to hear my tough little murder drago-




OH GOD NO!



...

What the FUCK is up with these attack?

A Focus Blast that wasn't STAB and almost shattered Chiller?

A Signal Beam that was the same AND also not very effective yet Rose lost a good two/thirds of her HP!?



Is...IS THIS THE POWER OF UNPAID INTERNSHIPS!?!?




Well at least that thing's scrap now.




Oh hey! Ampharos! I was right!



Oh shit. Ampharos. I was right...



Oh good. He's doing that.

Good show. Now I can destroy them both!






ROSE! SHE STOLE YOUR ABILITY!





Well...maiming's okay too, I guess.

After all I don't want my dear sweet Rose to have blood on her talons!

...



Well...a FATAL amount of blood!



Because that's what Chiller is for!

Aside from the talons. He don't got those.



What he DID have is an order to use BLIZZARD to take both of them out, not Ice beam!



I thought you could handle it!




I'm not going to drop an ACTUAL ice-cream on the carpet for a fucking bit!

Do you know how hard that is to get out?



And that was the first Mega-Evolution of the game!



Disappointing!



Just like the concept being abandoned for fucking regional forms!

Now my Mega-Haxorus will never come to be...





Whoa nelly!



Yeah I guess you're right.



I should recall you.




Rose.



...





You too, you big crybaby.



Should you really be aggravating him? Seems like a bad idea...

Don't worry about it Coyote, you're new. Me and Chiller love aggravating each other to the point of murder.



Oh. So I did...

...




HEY LOOK IT'S DAMOCLES!



IT AIN'T A PARTY UNTIL DAMOCLES GETS HERE!!



HAHA CLASSIC DAMOCLES! ALWAYS JOKING AROUND!



Guess that must be his super special OC move.

Good thing I swapped Chiller. Now those

He may be a murdering psychopath but he's my murdering psychopath.



No you see those Anti-Assist Grunts crossed me! That makes it okay!



WHAT WOULD MAKE YOU THINK IT'D WORK A SECOND TIME, ERICK?!?

God...guess he's only good at it for a the first thirty seconds.



TYPICAL VIRGINS, AMIRGIHT GUYS!?!



GUYS!?



AMIRIGHT?!?-

...



God I just had to get stuck with the buzzkills.

CAESAR would have laughed.




Humour aside, what a fucking stroke of good luck that they both aimed for Chiller!

Now I don't have to deal with any switch-in damage!



Well aside from Chiller's Hail.

But that's not going to be a big deal.



A move that you might remember from the Angie fight boosts his speed on this field!



At least I think I used it in that fight...

I don't actually remember much of it.

There was a lot of red aura and Veronica screaming in my ear through most of it.



No more Focus Blasts from, you bitch!

This is the turn you DIE!




And what did Sean give dear Damocles because he wanted to cover all his bases in this fight?



THAT'S RIGHT!

BYE-BYE SURFBOARD RAICHU!




Well technically Coyote was supposed to be the check for Alolan Raichu showing up with his Grass/Dark typing but whatever the job's done.



And so is that jobber.



Now we just have to deal with Mr. I've-no-weaknesses-ain't-I-special-even-though-I-look-like-a-fish-condom-from-hell?



Oh I'm sorry.

MS I've-no-weaknesses-ain't-I-special-even-though-I-look-like-a-fish-condom-from-hell.




Oh shut up, you paralyzed my Shiftry.







Wait FULL HEAL cures asthma?

D-did nobody ever try these on humans before?

Could I be holding the cure to all disease?



Also hey there's that "surprise" Pokemon, Wash-Rotom.

Kill it for me, would you?





IS CHILLER THE ONLY ONE HERE WHO UNDERSTANDS THAT KILL THEM MEANS BRING THEIR HP TO ZERO!?!?





Well at least it wasn't Ice-Beam.



Oh fuck this.



You might as well return since I STILL don't have Full Restores when my Pokemon are level 60!



Let's hope he aims two more Thunder Pulses at Tusk.



Eurgh...

This ain't a very good match up...

Neither of those freakshows is affected by ground moves...



And great.

THAT thing's back to full health now.



Guess I'll have to resort to using the OTHER secondary typings!



And he missed.

I don't have the image. But he missed.

Mammoths clearly went extinct for a reason if this elephantine eejit is any indication!



What are you talking about!? You have the tusks! The fur! You're a mammoth!



THAT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING IF IT'S PRECEDED BY MAMO! AS IN MAMMOTH!







WHAT THE FUCK WOULD PAYING ATTENTION GET ME, TUSK!? HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO TELL YOUR FAT ASS TO DODGE!?

YOU WEIGH LIKE 5000KG!



BULL. SHIT.

I'm LOOKING THAT UP!






Oh.

Uh...



THAT DOESN'T PROVE ANYTHING! POKEMON WEIGHT AND HEIGHTS ARE ALWAYS STUPID!



BECAUSE YOU MISSED A CRUCIAL ICE FANG!







NO YOU DIDN'T EVEN KILL IT!







Ah...well done Damocles.



...

I guess you're right. We DID lose our cool there. Good pun by the way.



Ah who cares? All that matters is we've stopped fighting. Thanks to Damocles' calm mediation



YOU FUCKING MORON WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SAY "ALWA-"






NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!





MYYYYYY BOOOOOOOYYYYYYYY!!!!!

HOW COULD YOU, ERICK?!!

HE WAS THE ONLY POKEMON THAT NEVER GAVE ME ANY BACK-TALK!



VOID ROTOM'S WARRANTY, CARNAGE!








I'd say you did your best but...

Well you're probably going to die.



Electivire is using Fire Punch.

I missed both the text and animation for it so here's an edited scene.





Well I'd like to make Gym battles a little more exciting given how we're constrained by the graphics in the game, you know?

...



Except me, right Tusk? Old buddy, old pal?



I figured you would say that...

YOU ELEPHANTINE BITC-











Yeah that's greaaat but get the hell off the field so Rose can scrap this washing machine.

I ain't losing two ground types today. Even if you are an asshole.



AND NOW IT ENDS!

USE THE POWER OF MY DAMOCLES-FUELLED SORROW, ROSE!







And all it cost me was one of my most versatile Pokemon.



What a victory!



Huh.

Erick is apparently Jewish.

...

Some rather impressively unpleasant insults come to mind right now about Hitler and getting a very badly thought-out tattoo..

But I'm going to chalk that up to me being incredibly pissed off about losing a GOOD Pokemon to the fucking replacement's replacement.



Please.

For the love of god preface that with "GYM"



"My first GYM battle ended up in a loss."

I do NOT want people thinking I lost a Pokemon during someone's first battle ever!



It's alright, Erick.



Everyone sucks when they fight me.

Because I never lose.

And I never will.

...

NEVER.



AND THAT'S NOT ME FORESHADOWING IT HAPPENING WITH A "PRIDE COMETH BEFORE THE FALL" PLOT POINT.

I WILL NEVER FUCKING LOSE.






Huzzah! My...8th? 9th? Gym badge!

I've genuinely forgotten what number I'm on at this point..



Guess it's kinda symbolic of how unimportant these battles are in the grand scheme of things.

Like why the fuck does Melia not have to do this shit as well? She ain't got no badges and she ain't no leader!



Although if I did lose here, the world was probably going to end because I gave up and left the country.



Because falling on my sword like my master Sensei-san-sama taught me isn't really an option anymore with the whole "YOLOAOAOAOAOAOAO" thing

(That's You Only Live Over and Over and Over and Over and Over and Over for all the uncool non-immortal abominations out there.)



Shame I don't have the HM.

That's really unfortunate with all the back-tracking planned...



If only I had a big grey four-armed freak that naturally learns how to push things for me?



Oh hey! Now THIS is a decent reward.

It's no Thunderbolt but that move's overrated anyways.



Melia's journey.



I really don't know what the fuck I'm supposed to be personally striving towards in this game.



Finding out why I can apparently just get over being obliterated down to my atoms and melted in lava?

Find Aelita again? And then hold her and never let go because everyone else on this Xen quest is terrible?

Ascend Rose into godhood?

I suppose I'll figure something out down the line...



...



Ah...

That's it?

Good luck and stuff?




Sorry to break it to you Erick. But I think you might be a minor character.

Well it was obvious from when we first met.



It's because you have a penis.

This game's roster is apparently only big enough for a very small number of wieners.



Sayonara Erick.

Maybe we'll meet again someday?



Psshhhh, yeah right.

And I'll then maybe I'll join Interpol and fight a big fiery Beyblade in some dumb cave with an edgy name!



Yeah you're right. Let's hit the showers and wash off the stench of death and/or sewage off us-

Power plants have showers, right?

I have literally not explored any of this city except for the sewers and this building.

So I don't know what to tell y-



OH NO!



I'm getting a vision I think!



Look I have no other known way of reacting to this next bullshit-I-wasn't-there-for scene, okay?

I have to make SOME excuse.



YEP!



Oh great. It's my ex's creepily attentive bestie.

This should be worth a chuckle.

And seriously?

What the fuck TOOK you so long to get from Sheridan to Kristiline town?

It's only like a 8 hour trip! Not four fucking weeks!



Alright John Cena.

How about you just chill?



I don't think it's very appropriate to call Eldest a child.

Or me.

Or to be blaming me for that INSTEAD of blaming me for putting her in that popsicle (with Kriess' unnecessary help) in the first place!



This would be the perfect time for her to fall down those stairs...




Any second now...



AW GOD DAMN IT JAN!

YOU COULD HAVE HAD SOME MOOD KILLING SLAPSTICK!



It has a certain delicious irony to it, doesn't it?



Oh psh.

I've done much worse stuff than freezing some woman.

Wait, no! Freezing her was a fucking GOOD thing!



That's...a weird thing to admit...

Granted you think nobody can hear you right now.

But I'm guessing on those four weeks it took you to get here you may put on several pounds from eating ice-cream and crying.



Gamers fucking rise up right now.

The m'lady needs our help.

After all how else will Angie learn to love me? The gentleman gamer that I am?



Kinda debatable.

She IS Indriad fused with some lady.

But it seems all that did was make her deranged?

Huh.







How did I see a BatMetal reference in this vision?






O shit waddup?!?



Awwww...she's in that cute just-woke-up-from-a-nap state of mind.

Let's cherish it while we can.



It is now the year 2525.

Man is still alive.

Woman survived.

Zager and Evans were worried about nothing.





OH SHIT SHE'S BEEN TRIGGERED!





Honestly wasn't looking for this when I googled "When she smiles"

It's just...this is just a really fucking gay image.

So I just made a triggered meme

-Angie triggered-

Hahahaha.

No seriously who the fuck writes that garbage?

It's genuinely worse than the gamer rise up shit because at least that's funny.



Huh.

You're either red or your dead I guess.



Cera might want to hurry up and decide which she is.



"Oh great she's fucking overreacting again" Cera, half-terrified, half-sick of Angie's shit.



"How do I look as a redhead?"



Fuck I need to get me a maid fanatic.

All I have is this stupid book that doesn't do shit.





A good ol' rousing round of absolute disintegration!





'Bout a month? Month and a half?

Time passing is hard to calculate in this game.




Behind on all of your...plans?

Why did she take over Kristiline and pretend to be the Ice Gym Leader?

Like...what was the purpose of that?




Or y'know...killed by you for the slightest of problems.

You're a very bad boss is what I'm saying, Angie. Nobody should follow you of their own free will, it just doesn't make any sense.



*wink* *wink* *nudge* *nudge*

Is what I'm getting from this.

Could be wrong.

Could be right and their relationship is meant to be a parallel between Veronica and Melia's?

Which would probably piss me off since all the villains in this game seem to focus on her when I'm the one who's been actually defeating them.

I've literally never seen Melia battle anyone by herself.




Well good luck to them.

I ain't going back to help.




Why?

Because some wandering trainer showed up, froze you in ice and then wandered off again?



And you changed your mind while in your Captain America icicle?

Oh god it's got something to do with Melia again, doesn't it?

HOW MANY CRAZY WOMEN DO I HAVE TO KEEP AWAY FROM THAT FUCKING GIRL!?





Oooohhhhhh...






Oh! Don't worry folks!

"???" must be her pet Rufflet!

Yeah that's it!



After all, why would a Regice make a "RRUUUUU" sound?!

-You know you heard the Regice cry, right?-

Yes but the audience didn't! The benefit of silent media!








...



*AH-CHOO*!




Bleh.

I better not be getting sick.

...



That anime cliche do anything for you guys?

I hope so.

...



So was that another "I SOMEHOW KNOW NIM IS ACTUALLY ALIVE! BUT FUCK TELLING LITERALLY ANYONE!" thing, where I'm not supposed to know because I wasn't there in person?

...



Bleh.

And then Sean was punished for making that anime sneeze joke by actually getting sick.

Is anyone else getting broken images and then reloading the page only to find out they're working fine?

Kinda annoying, isn't it?
 

spikesgirl1

Lugia Worshiper
Pokédex No.
446
Caught
Jul 9, 2019
Messages
10
Pokémon Type
Fire, Ghost
Oh, Ice Age. Even with the slew of sequels, I still unapologetically loved Scrat.

Yikes, too close! I'm glad Chiller didn't end up being a tasty puddle. I like that psycho.

Noooo, Damocles! He was the strong, silent type and he will be missed. :(

Oh man, I think you had mentioned Angie coming back before and I totally forgot. Uggghhh.
 

YinYang9705

Member
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
524
Caught
Jul 17, 2019
Messages
64
Location
a different place, possibly a different time
Nature
Quiet
Pronouns
male ones
Pokémon Type
Ghost
poor damocles, he was the best claydol I've seen in a nuzlocke, he didn't deserve to die like that
he was also the only claydol but details

and then cera fucked up angies resurrection and gave her the wrong element, I'm sure that wont have any horrible repercussions whatso ever
 
Pokédex No.
927
Caught
Oct 22, 2019
Messages
4
Location
In the library with many good books
Nature
Timid
Pronouns
They/Them
Pokémon Type
Water, Ice
Pokédex Entry
This member of the Mercury clan knows a heck of a lot of water, ice and healing magic, and might even be wandering around with a few Djinn!
I've just spent all week reading this run from beginning to end and all I can say is fuck Melia, and fuck Jan for writing someone so unspeakably intolerable as the ~hewo~ of his super-shitty region. God-damn. There is not enough editing in the world to save this game from itself.
 

Derogatory Trainer

The hero you don't need but you're getting anyway.
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
315
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
93
Nature
Adamant
Pokémon Type
???
Pokédex Entry
Wanted to be an Instagram whore but I got lost so now I do Reaction-Lockes.
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #772


Rest in peace my Terracotta warrior...



Uh...thank you, Professor Alena? How the fuck do you know that?



It's not MY fault! I just...never seem to pick you over Caesar or Coyote when I want a Grass type that's all...

And where the fuck are you getting history books from?



Whatever let's go back to ignoring her for another forty chapters and take a look at this.

Only one spot left for the Ho-Oh graveyard.

I wonder if there's a prize for filling the whole box?



Oh, Ice Age. Even with the slew of sequels, I still unapologetically loved Scrat.

Yikes, too close! I'm glad Chiller didn't end up being a tasty puddle. I like that psycho.

Noooo, Damocles! He was the strong, silent type and he will be missed. :(

Oh man, I think you had mentioned Angie coming back before and I totally forgot. Uggghhh.
I stopped after Ice Age 2. Didn't Scrat get a girlfriend that was using him for his nuts?
...
Wow that sounded wrong even if it was correct.
I'd be so fucking mad if he died to Erick. He beat the sun once after all. He shouldn't ever die to anything less than a Necrozoma.
He was extremely easy to write as well! But yes. Now I'll have to find some other Ground type to take his place...hopefully not that asshole Mamoswine...
Nobody could blame you. I never remember anything I write in these myself.
It's kind of a bonus since when I read back I can laugh at my own jokes.

poor damocles, he was the best claydol I've seen in a nuzlocke, he didn't deserve to die like that
he was also the only claydol but details

and then cera fucked up angies resurrection and gave her the wrong element, I'm sure that wont have any horrible repercussions whatso ever
He was one of the unexpected good 'uns. And no he didn't. Not to a fucking intern.
What about Snakewood? That was a joke. Please don't bring it up.
Honestly I don't know HOW more fucked up Angie can get considering she's a deranged fusion woman.

I've just spent all week reading this run from beginning to end and all I can say is fuck Melia, and fuck Jan for writing someone so unspeakably intolerable as the ~hewo~ of his super-shitty region. God-damn. There is not enough editing in the world to save this game from itself.
Wow you got in just as I was finishing this chapter. Nice timing! Yep. It was complete bullshit.
But in his defence (and as much as it physically pains me to say it) Jan did get better later on and rewrote a good portion of people's characters so they're less shit when you meet them.
But that's not what happened for me since I started 6 updates ago with everyone still being their terrible selves.
So basically there's two canon beginning's now. The game now with it's updates and rewrites and the Nuzlocke run where they're all still pretty shit.




Well that was a very short cold opening...

But who cares? It's time to start preparing for my back-tracking expedition!



And there's one thing every person needs when back-tracking!

That's right. Exactly what you're thinking!




A slave!

...

...

...

...

...

...

...

...



For HMs!

...

Why are you all looking at me like that?



It's been quite a while, hasn't it?

You used to be in West-Gearan back then. Now I have to travel out to the fucking sticks anytime I want to use you.



Which is never really so I'm not too upset.




I'm surprised any other Pokemon would want to play with Pathetic because...well y'know...



I'll take the Bibarel that I named after a meme that nobody has found funny in over fifteen years.




Thaaank you.



Y-yeah! Glad to see you're still a normal Bibarel and I'm not continuing that earlier joke.

Perhaps there's hope for me yet?



Oh it was just me trying to get demonitized as usual.




BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

GOD no!




Sure.

If I've got any more useless Pokemon you'll be the first to know.




WELL WHAT DO WE HAVE HERE!?!?



I actually found her in this town if I remember right...seems only fitting to put her back.

So it's not technically abandoning her.

Besides the only reason I took Skittles is because I was a sucker for sad abandoned Pokemon back then, even ones as useless as a Skitty.

But now I'm mean so I don't care anymore.

...



Say, Rose...Have you ever actually seen this cat awake?



Like...I can see that it's breathing but I've literally never seen it move...

I'm beginning to suspect it's an Abra in disguise at this point...-



Pfft...Sure thing, Granny.

I can't IMAGINE what my life would be like without Skittles and Pathetic.



Or can I?



...



Nope!





Okay so where to go then? The skies the limit!

...



And since I don't have Fly or Melia's cheater powers I mean that literally.




How about we start here in West-Gearan then?

Didn't explore this place yet. I pretty much went straight to the gym and then to the showers so I could wash all the sewage and frustrated tears off me from that little adventure in the sewers.








Oh Christ.

Saki lives in on fucking estate in the middle of a city, Amber lives in a manor next to a holiday resort...why the fuck do I get stuck with the poor girls?



FUCK OFF KID!

I saved her from a group of Sharpedo!

That means this house is MINE to ransack!





You're young.

You don't know what you want.



Well you see there was a evil goth lady who kidnapped her and her giant spider machine from the top of a volcano...



















Yeah he didn't believe me.



Hell I didn't even believe me.

Trying to explain any of the events in my life always make people call the insane asylum.

But even they don't believe me.

They believe me so little they think I'm actually the sanest person in existence.



...



Well fuck.

What the hell is with the people in this game and actually LOCKING their doors?

Did someone warn them I might be coming? How rude!

My Protagonitis went into remission ages ago!



She does have a pool in her front yard instead of her back yard.

Can't get much cooler than that!



Or public now that I think about it...

There isn't even a gate to the premises...just one creepy schoolboy guarding it.



I'm sure the local police don't.



Although I wonder how Amaria-Black is dealing with nearly half of all her leaders missing?

Maybe she got even more shitty kids to fill in for them like she did in Sheridan?








Why? Does it have some dire consequences in the future?



That's...a good point...



But he also makes a good point...



And his point comes with a sack of gold...so doesn't that make him the most right?



The answer is no.



Well outside of Washington, amiright?

AMIRIGHT?!



Maybe I should stick to the evil cube jokes and not ones about a government I'm not even represented by...

Although the same accusation applies to any capital city, I guess.



Hm.

Counting that "state-the-obvious" scientist over there that's four men just hanging around Saki's empty house.



I'm starting to think I should call someone.



Meh. It's Saki. She can afford to get burgled.

If she cared that much she'd hire better security or a house sitter.

ONE-CHAPTER-INTO-THE-FUTURE SEAN: FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP FORESHADO-GAKK!



O-okay?



Oh thank god it's just a Porygon side-quest.



Much better than what I thought the "strange noises from a computer" might have been.

REALLY glad I don't have to solve THAT problem.



UGH! THEY'RE NOT CARTOONS, MOM!

IT'S CALLED ANIME! AND IT'S AN ART FORM!



THE TITS ARE FOR SOPHISTICATION, MOM!



Hello I'm the porn police.

Turn down your porn.

...

And get a girlfriend.



Oh I'll bet.




...



The more and more I delve into this Porygon quest the more and more it seems like I'm doing the porn one...

Pornygon.



What's in this house with it's massive window?

A store?



Or a completely empty house with nothing in it...

WAS THIS GOING TO BE MY HOME BEFORE THE BOAT GOT ATTACKED?!?



As far as home's go it's not a bad one.



If you ignore the permanently cloudy sky, the proximity to heavy-duty electrical equipment, living under the thumb of the Blakeorys...



Oh and the open sewers 20 feet from your front door.

Okay this is not my house now.

...

Maybe that house I saw in my post-cremation Crescent dream was mine?

That would be almost exactly what I'd be looking for...



Secluded, dramatically on a cliff next to the ocean, a forest out back...



Sigh...someday...



Speaking of looking for things...



Can I fish in these waters?

Maybe get an Alolan Grimer?



Well I can fish. There's just nothing biting.

And I've tried plenty of times before this picture.



Well that's a bust.



Perhaps in the tall grass outside my not-home?





Yep. That's about right.



Well that's the north part of town done.



Guess we'll explore the (ugh) South part of town.

That's where most of the shit is after all.



Is this not it?



Ah yes. I hear there's a booming sculpting business there.

They produce so many statues, why they just leave them strewn about!



Pass.



And for people who've already played the game before me. Jan got rid of the honey thief side-quest that used to be here so there's nothing worth seeing in there anymore.




Oh hey this place seems interesting!



It was not...



But there might be something over that fence...

Time to use my once per hundred chapters move!



"Barrier Skip"!



HIIIIYOOOOOOO!!!!



Deadly.

This would be a good move for you, Rose but I think I'll stick with the Poison Jab and Brick Break switching in the 4th slot.



Exactly.

Although i can't imagine I'll be sending you out against any of them.

It's too big a risk. You're no doubt my strongest but you're also a massive emotional crutch and I'd probably become very unhinged if anything were to happen to you.



That's why I like you Rose. Always a silver lining.



Well okay that AND the murder dragon stuff.



And now for this weird little hut next to...I assume a museum?



Yep.

Museum. And that was the employee entrance.



An employee entrance that the employees can only access by going through another unrelated building...

Bit of an odd design choice there...



Yes, many women like yourself have that reaction when they see me~



Even more women have that reaction as well!

I am just a terrible person to take to a restaurant/restricted military base.



I just don't like being told what to do by a fucking door, okay?



Okay, significantly less women have told me that...



But it's still not zero...



...



So how's about we touch that fossil, boys and girls?



I'm sure you guys won't tattle on me.

And even then who would you tattle to? Jan? Pffft...what's he gonna do?



Redesign all the previous routes AGAIN so I have to backtrack AGAIN?

I'd like to see him tr-



WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT THE FUCKING FORESHADOWING!?!?




Hey.



Yes but you left the door unlocked.



That means it's only off-limits to people you catch.



Hey. I don't condone stealing from people and then calling myself their friend immediately after.

I only condone it if it's for humorous reasons/vengeance.



...



Well now we know what our objective for this chapter is.

Toucha da fossil.



Maybe if we dropped a bucket gently on her head she won't be able to see me take it?

Like in Skyri-

...



Fucking hell I have GOT to stop forgetting this thing is see-through.

...

She'd probably noticed the Machamp vomit smell too.













...



I'd rather have read the fucking sign myself thanks.



Bitch-ass sign readers thinkin' I need to know their fucking opinion...




Ughhhhhh...

Fine, here.



I think I'll just stick to the parts that might be plot-relevant thanks.




How the fuck is that an anagram?



"Meet Existentialist whom harten..."?

So meet people who believe in free will who incite?

Incite what?

Violence?




...

How the fuck do you rush an engraving?



Oh well it's not important...probably...



The ruins where Karen (that batshit insane witch woman) took those Bikers in like chapter 5...I think?

I didn't check but that sounds right.







I don't know what to make of this...

But it worries me.



So basically it's just got a half formed donut on it now?

What is the significance of this?





That was the only useful bit of information I got in this dump of a museum.

It helps explain why they have to go through a fucking newsroom to get to the employee section at least.

I wonder who owns the News HQ?

...



Tch. It's probably the Blakeorys again.





Well I think we just found our way to "toucha da fossil"



...

Nope.



Next time.

I'll risk extreme emotional damage to myself next time.




Was it the odd urine smell coming from the fountain?

I'm glad that my act of petty vandalism is still affecting the place after so many years...



Maybe because it's built on an ancient Gardevoirfag burial ground?



You're probably one of the few remaining ones left. Might as well call it quits.

Before the bounty hunters come for you.



Uh...sure but isn't it for the whole region and not just that one city?







Ooooohhh that sounds cool...if horribly impractical.



Is that what the rumoured future tournament is about?

Deciding who gets to be a new leader?

It makes sense when you think about how many of them are missing now...



Amazingly I think Narcissa of all people is the only original one still doing her job on this island...and that's pretty scary



Although this tournament doesn't really entice me, y'know? I mean the concept does but the prize?



Like why the fuck would I want to be a Gym Leader when I KNOW I'm a Champ-in-the-making?-



Okay I'm watching.



WATCHING YOU FAIL, YOU PRIMA DONNA!




Huh.

Didn't think it'd survive that.

I wonder what Primarina's stats are like?



High Special Attack and Defense huh?

And...part-Fairy...



Ah shit.





Unless you're somehow strengthen by moonlight like Sailor Moon...yeah.



You mean where you basically sat around the P.C eating my digital food for most of your time with me?



Sorry it came to an end like this.

Against some random nobody...





Rest in peace, you fan-handed son of a bitch.
























Well THAT sucked.

He was a great Dexoy killer.



Okay Prophet, melt it's brains.



I don't care. I just want it to be a burden on it's trainer and family for the rest of it's life, okay?






"Sughou"

Fairly sure that's somewhere in China and not a name...

Also "Optimist" is a trainer class now? Fucking hell they must be the rarest in this region.



Bitch, I ain't famous and I win every fight.

What chance do you have?




Only a little.




Like would getting slapped into a wall ruin your life?




Be sure to blog about how it did.

Maybe you'll get picked up by BugBuzzfeed?

Although that's a big step down even from where you are now.

Lying unconscious in a gutter.



Ah nothing like assaulting basically innocent women to make me feel better about my weird leafy Tengu monster dying.



Maybe it's a good thing I'm not the true hero of this story...




And now to place Coyote in the final resting place and claim my prize.





The prize was depression.

That's 30 Pokemon lost to this war of mine now.

Sigh...


















...

Knowing my luck with public transport...and this guy's seal of approval...



This train is going to fucking crash, isn't it?





"Of the carnage that will ensue"



No such thing.



They all burn before the mighty dragon.

...



Mothim's are okay, I guess.



TRAINS take you wherever there's TRACKS, you fucking moron.



God I hate this guy so much now for what was just an innocent opinion.






Okay I'm starting to think this guy isn't actually stupid but very, very susceptible to taglines and advertising campaigns.

Which I guess is basically modern stupidity at the end of the day.




"Where your dreams become reality"

Damn that's a good fucking tagline. I mean it's very easy to come up with given the name of the city but still...

Pretty persuasive, politicians.



...

That was my attempt at a "Pretty sneaky, sis" joke.

Yeah I can't blame you if you never watch this show again.



No.

Your hair colour is different.

And that's basically the only method I have from telling everyone apart with these graphics.



Yeah, YOU'RE WELCOME!





Also no that isn't great at all.

That just makes me wary of what they could be plotting in the shadows...

Who knows what dastardly plot they could be cooking up next?






Jesus, really?

Almost wish that happened. I doubt Erick would have been so keen on helping save Garbodor if it did.





I thought air conditioning blows out the hot air from inside the train?

How would the fog get in?

That being said I'm no expert on how air conditioners work. We don't have them in many homes in Ireland.




Wait, what?

...



Did this guy just save a whole train of people off-screen?



Jesus...hero of another story right here.




You. Sleep with this heroic man. He deserves it.

...



Actually are you two here on a date? Because I'm sorry for just randomly sitting down and talking to you.



Yeah, I've just noticed them there.

Who had the smart idea to have a picnic area here? RIGHT NEXT TO THE OPEN SEWER PIPES?



WHAT THE FUCK IS UP WITH THIS TOWN'S DESIGN!?!





Lucky I've got this toy grabby hand that I use as a backscratcher because I'm cheap as fuck.




*Yawn*



...

This can't be healthy for any of my Pokemon to eat...



Oooohhhh Tusk~

How about we bury the hatchet over some candy?














Oh shit.




*whistles nonchalantly*




SHHHHH!Don't talk so fucking loud, man!



Is there anyway the train can leave extremely suddenly and also extremely quietly so the three behind me don't notice?



Fuck.



Oh god...I think I'd rather talk to Melia and them instead of that wacky witch...



How many of these fucking things do I have?



It's got to be close to 150 n-



OOOOOOOOOWWWW?!?!!!



Oh god oh god oh god...



H-hi Karen. Nice of you to just grab me in the middle of my thoughts like that.




*cries*





N-no! I came immediately here when I saw you!

I just can't resist your...charms...




You can't.



Because I have definitely lost all feeling in both my arms




*cries again*




O-oh? I'm sorry to hear that...?



(Christ what the fuck do I even say to this maniac?)




I'm not even sure she means a little bug.

I wouldn't be surprised if there's a crushed Scoliopede lying in an alleyway somewhere.



There's...no corner here...?






Please do.



...



...



...



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!



*pant* *pant*

What....the FUCK was that!?!?