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Roll to Dodge The Art of Minimalism?

Thread Description
Will the real JaneWolf please stand up?

Fool

I'm Eltaba now.
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
280
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
503
Location
A Delicious Pancake
Nature
Bold
Pronouns
Call me whatever you want.
Pokémon Type
Dragon, Rock
Pokédex Entry
Frequently criticizes inane video game plots, especially those involving spiky haired boys and cats.
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #361
Not my plan, but I will adapt accordingly.

I shall take the Puritan Diamond I just kicked out of Good Zorua’s hand and put it in my pocket before proceeding to try and punch Evil Zorua in the face.
[2]: You decide to leave the Puritan Diamond alone for now, you have no idea how your body would react to holding that thing.

[4]: You instead make a dash towards Evil Zorua and try to nail him in the face! Evil Zorua must roll to dodge!

[3 for Aureum/5 for Evil Zorua]: Evil Zorua dodges the punch and hooks you right in the gut, pushing you back into a couple of boxes.

"I DID THAT WITH ONLY ONE ARM AUREUM!!! STEP IT UP!!!!!!"

THAT’S MY PRECIOUS DIAMOND YOU BEAUTIFUL PERSON

STAB ANYONE IN THE VICINITY WITH FRIENDLY ROSES
[6]: You try to stab someone, and instead decide to stab everyone in the vicinity, including yourself! Everyone (who is alive and on the time machine) must roll to dodge!

[3 for Friendly Roses/1 for Good Zorua]: The roses pierce into your skin and cause you to bleed all over, your white robe slowly oozes into a solid red. It hurts, a lot.

[1 for Friendly Roses/3 for Aureum]: Aureum leaps out of the crushed boxes and outmaneuvers the roses, causing them to choke each other and wither.]

[1 for Friendly Roses/1 for Evil Zorua]: Evil Zorua repels the roses back into their spawned place, causing them to disappear.

"YOU SERIOUSLY THOUGHT A BUNCH OF DAINTY LITTLE FLOWERS COULD HURT ME?!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA! YOU IDIOT!!!! I MUST HAVE TAKEN OUR INTELLIGENCE DURING THE SPLIT TOO!!!"

I guess I really only have 1hp to work with. I use pain split on Evil Zorua.
[4]: You attempt to use Pain Split on Evil Zorua, Evil Zorua must roll to dodge!

[2 for Pain Split/1 for Evil Zorua]: Binding chains drain Evil Zorua's lifeforce and combine it with your own, resulting in Evil Zorua's health going down to 3.

Evil Zorua
Health: [][ (3 HP)

"RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MY BODY!!!!!!!!!!! THE ENERGY IS FLEEEEEEEEETING!!!!!!!! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

eat evil zorua's health bars
[6]: Using your meta game abilities, you try to eat Evil Zorua's health bars... but instead aim for the entire Time Machine! The Time Machine must roll to dodge!

[3 for Cirr/4 for Time Machine]: The time machine continues warping backwards, preventing you from consuming it.

Uhh I keep going down the spooky lab thing
[5]: You continue to travel down into the lab, and manage to outrun the disgusting monster that was chasing you down. You enter a large room, with large man-like creatures floating in large tubes. There is a computer, with a large pin input on the screen. This could be interesting.

Enemy Turn:

Evil Zorua is enraged at losing so much health! He attempts to stab Aureum with his blade!

[1]: But instead starts to bleed heavily out of his arm, Evil Zorua must roll to dodge!

[2 for Blood Loss/2 for Evil Zorua]: Evil Zorua heats up his blade and cauterizes the wound, stopping the bleeding for now.

"RRRRRRRR... RRRRRRRR... HATE... HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEE..."

Evil Zorua
Health: [][ (3 HP)
3 turns remaining.
 

Aureum

A world calling for justice shall be heard.
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
338
Caught
Jul 2, 2019
Messages
1,264
Location
Good Ol’ Maple Syrup Island
Nature
Lonely
Pronouns
He, Him
Pokémon Type
Dark, Fighting
Pokédex Entry
From the Country of the Ketchup Chips, Aureums are an anxious bunch with a love for games of all sorts. Batteries not included.
Looking at the result of my fine dexterity, I turn to Evil Zorua.
“Ah Evil Zorua, truly you are an example on why I hate everything about this. First I fought a zombie, then a bear zombie, a few weirdos, your future counterpart, said counterpart’s army, and then attempted to attack the distorted form of said future counterpart.”

“Point is, I had enough. You retry and pretend to be some cool bad guy, but to me you’re just an appetizer. I don’t even need any cool gimmick or power. Heck, I could have at any point chosen to recreate my Genesis Scythe. You understand where I’m going here? I hope so, anyways!”

Seeing an opportunity, I try to target Evil Zorua’s cauterized wound.
 
Last edited:

mondograss

Bard of Life
Writer
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
680
Caught
Aug 15, 2019
Messages
531
Nature
Naive
Pokémon Type
Dark, Normal
Pokédex Entry
This Pokemon is infamously irritable, but it comes down from its rage quickly. It is quite loyal to kind, patient Trainers.
Punch Evil Zorua real real hard
 

Cirr

I'm a bot! (maybe)
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
216
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
1,057
Pronouns
beep/boop
Pokémon Type
Ghost, Normal
Pokédex Entry
Fails Captchas with regularity
punch evil zorua through the fourth wall
 

Browncow45

Kanto League Champion
Pokédex No.
1034
Caught
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
149
Nature
Modest
Pokémon Type
Steel
Pokédex Entry
This Pokemon would rather be doing donuts than fighting Ganon.
I read Evil Zorua's mind to figure out what in the world is going on.
 

Zorua3

On-and-off Nuzlocker
Artist
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
387
Caught
Jul 5, 2019
Messages
409
Location
Somewhere in Unova.
Nature
Quirky
Pronouns
He/him
Pokémon Type
Dark
Pokédex Entry
I'd copy-paste the Zorua Pokedex entry, but I'm too lazy.
Okay fine, it looks like I'll have to embrace the Goodness, mostly cuz it sounds like it comes with God Powers.

Materialize a Spoon of Light, like Mewtwo, and smack Aureum Evil Me with it.
 

Fool

I'm Eltaba now.
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
280
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
503
Location
A Delicious Pancake
Nature
Bold
Pronouns
Call me whatever you want.
Pokémon Type
Dragon, Rock
Pokédex Entry
Frequently criticizes inane video game plots, especially those involving spiky haired boys and cats.
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #368
Looking at the result of my fine dexterity, I turn to Evil Zorua.
“Ah Evil Zorua, truly you are an example on why I hate everything about this. First I fought a zombie, then a bear zombie, a few weirdos, your future counterpart, said counterpart’s army, and then attempted to attack the distorted form of said future counterpart.”

“Point is, I had enough. You retry and pretend to be some cool bad guy, but to me you’re just an appetizer. I don’t even need any cool gimmick or power. Heck, I could have at any point chosen to recreate my Genesis Scythe. You understand where I’m going here? I hope so, anyways!”

Seeing an opportunity, I try to target Evil Zorua’s cauterized wound.
[2]: You make your statement, but it's all talk. You instead walk away and sulk in the corner, hoping for death.

"DID... DID YOU JUST... WOW THAT'S REALLY PATHETIC!"

Punch Evil Zorua real real hard
[6]: You go to punch Evil Zorua really really hard... but instead target the engine of the time machine. If your punch destroys it, it could mean the end of reality! The Engine must roll to dodge!

[4 for Mondo/6 for the Engine]: You punch the engine... but the force cracks your hand, you recoil in incredible pain.

"WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?!"

punch evil zorua through the fourth wall
[6]: You instead decide to destroy the fourth wall in its entirety, you have no idea what effect this will have. The Fourth Wall must roll to dodge!

[2 for Cirr/2 for Fourth Wall]: You decide to abstain from destroying the Fourth Wall for now.

I read Evil Zorua's mind to figure out what in the world is going on.
[3]: Looking into his mind you find that Evil Zorua is at least trying to kill all of you... you have no idea what the other stuff he's thinking about means.

Like a MASSIVE NERD I go and READ any CONVENIENTLY PLACED BOOKS AND NOTES
[4]: You read a note that states "Do not press the release button under any circumstances" on the other side of the note is the number one thousand-seventy three.

Okay fine, it looks like I'll have to embrace the Goodness, mostly cuz it sounds like it comes with God Powers.

Materialize a Spoon of Light, like Mewtwo, and smack Aureum Evil Me with it.
[2]: You don't do any of that and instead question why you were split in half.

Enemy Turn:

Evil Zorua attempts to cleave at Cirr!

[2]: However the pain from the cauterized wound is too much and causes him to fall on his behind.

"RRRRRGH!!! DAMN IT!!!"

Evil Zorua
Health: [][ (3 HP)
2 turns remaining.
 

Aureum

A world calling for justice shall be heard.
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
338
Caught
Jul 2, 2019
Messages
1,264
Location
Good Ol’ Maple Syrup Island
Nature
Lonely
Pronouns
He, Him
Pokémon Type
Dark, Fighting
Pokédex Entry
From the Country of the Ketchup Chips, Aureums are an anxious bunch with a love for games of all sorts. Batteries not included.
I reveal that my sulking was all a ruse to fool him (totally...), and then kick him in the face.
 

Cirr

I'm a bot! (maybe)
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
216
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
1,057
Pronouns
beep/boop
Pokémon Type
Ghost, Normal
Pokédex Entry
Fails Captchas with regularity
eat the fourth wall
 

Browncow45

Kanto League Champion
Pokédex No.
1034
Caught
Nov 18, 2019
Messages
149
Nature
Modest
Pokémon Type
Steel
Pokédex Entry
This Pokemon would rather be doing donuts than fighting Ganon.
I pull out a magical quantum physics book and enchant evil Zorua back into Zorua Prime until they've merged back into one being. If we get out of the timestream and enter into a proper universe, having two Zoruas in the same place in the same time is going to cause a paradox, and I'm NOT in the mood for that.
 

Zorua3

On-and-off Nuzlocker
Artist
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
387
Caught
Jul 5, 2019
Messages
409
Location
Somewhere in Unova.
Nature
Quirky
Pronouns
He/him
Pokémon Type
Dark
Pokédex Entry
I'd copy-paste the Zorua Pokedex entry, but I'm too lazy.
If we get out of the timestream and enter into a proper universe, having two Zoruas in the same place in the same time is going to cause a paradox, and I'm NOT in the mood for that.
You’re a little late on that one friendo.

Make sure my conscience is still split cuz uhhhhhh I don’t want the jerk face back in my head?
 

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