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Screenshot Kanto Hack narcissism in lower case: let's nuzlocke my own hack

Thread Description
that hack is 152 red

surfe

I am SHOPKEEP. I desire ALL RUBLES.
Hacker
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
83
Caught
Jun 16, 2019
Messages
260
Location
England
Nature
Timid
Pronouns
she/her
Pokémon Type
Dark, Fairy
Pokédex Entry
hi
hello! i'm bad at introductions!

1. faint =death
2. catch first thing on route
3. nickname everything
4. notepad clause. i claimed to have made every mon at least usable, so surely there's no need for me to box any pokemon like ledyba or yanma...
5. no uppercase letters


in case you don't know, the gimmick of this hack is that no kanto pokemon are available until the postgame. charizard's here just because she was one of the 10,000$ backer reward tier donators, she's barely even relevant.


it's me! i'm me. i think.


the rival is also me, because i picked his team. he's also the imbodiment of all the adversity i shall face throughout playing my own hack. which is again thanks to myself.


ah, the potion. who put that in there? you don't have your own pokemon, it doesn't make any sense why you'd have one... maybe it was a free sample.


you can make many observations about this house's lack of furniture. here's mine: where's the fridge? i see no place in this home where food might be kept. does it all go in the pc?


talking in all lowercase kinda gives this commentary a tone of detached irony that makes me want to make a comment like "haha i'm called me so when she says this it's like she's talking to herself! isn't that funny!!!!!" to make it seem as if i'm mocking the idea of giving the player character a funny name and mask the fact that i find it amusing myself. but i'm not gonna do that because this is a sincerity zone and oh god this kind of self aware commentary still seems pretentious and ironic help

if you did in fact read this update and not just post a starter please include the word "wowzers!" in your reply ; ). pretend you're in like a secret club


but oak, i'm already with myself! i always am. i can hide from the world, but i can't hide from me...


he just said he's giving me a starter you absolute imbecile. pay attention!

anyway uhhhh


the lovely chikorita?


the wonderful totodile?


the excellent cyndaquil?

...or do i all trade it in for what's in the mystery box?

(there isn't a mystery box)
 

Dumboldore

A mysterious creature not listed in the Pokédex.
Pokédex No.
624
Caught
Aug 3, 2019
Messages
24
wowzers a hack featuring no kanto pokemon instead of all kanto pokemon for a change, me is pleased

chikorita gogogo
 

Cleffachi

Training to be Cute
Writer
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
8
Caught
May 15, 2019
Messages
132
Location
yes
Nature
Naive
Pronouns
She/Her/They/Them
Pokémon Type
Dark, Fairy
Pokédex Entry
This Pokemon is a shark! It tends to dislike cynicism and being mean.
wowzers!

looking forward to reading this

pick the...uh...popato? potato? beantato? bean? pick the green one :)
 

Trollkitten

Kitten of Lore
Writer
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
208
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
317
Location
Gatto Region
Nature
Quirky
Pronouns
She/her, Aetherai Lorekeeper
Pokémon Type
Fairy, Clever
Pokédex Entry
Autistic writer who starts more things than she finishes. Also a major Twitch Plays Pokemon lorewriter. Rather be a happy shill than an angry critic.
Wowzers! I would say pick Cyndaquil because Cyndaquil is the BEST, but if Brock is still Rock-type, then you probably want one of the other two. So I'll say Totodile.
 

Chess

birds can't hurt me these shades are gucci
Administrator
Moderator
Tech Team
Artist
Writer
Screenshotter
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
5
Caught
May 13, 2019
Messages
175
Location
in forest floor detritus
Nature
Docile
Pronouns
They/Them/She/Her
Pokémon Type
Fire, Grass
Pokédex Entry
can be bribed with shiny objects and spices to do household repairs. utterly incapable of many things, but does them anyway
wowzers! i'm gonna have to vote for the green baby because you're going on a journey to overcome yourself, and you need an emotional support bean dinosaur
 

Zorua3

On-and-off Nuzlocker
Artist
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
387
Caught
Jul 5, 2019
Messages
89
Location
Somewhere in Unova.
Nature
Quirky
Pronouns
He/him
Pokémon Type
Dark
Pokédex Entry
I'd copy-paste the Zorua Pokedex entry, but I'm too lazy.
Wowzers! Pick the mystery box Totodile is the superior starter.
 

Xurkitree

'Dabs like a true gamer'
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
294
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
26
Location
In bed
Nature
Naughty
Pronouns
REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE
Pokémon Type
Electric, Fire
wowsers, i want small text from next chapter take the damn mystery box
gl to you and also you
 

Gyrahine

[insert title here]
Artist
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
86
Caught
Jun 16, 2019
Messages
34
Nature
Timid
Pronouns
She/Her
Pokémon Type
Ice, Beautiful
On the one hand I have no real preference for you to pick either of the starters (pick the mystery box!), but on the other hand chikorita is literally a good bean, so pick chikorita. And name them Wowzers.
 

Mattman324

he's always watching you know
Screenshotter
Pokédex No.
159
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
304
Location
This forum, as of now
Nature
Adamant
Pronouns
YUUSHA
Pokémon Type
Electric, Steel
Pokédex Entry
KITA KITA KITA
truly this hack is pretty wowzers.

anyway use the fucking snack wrapper chikorita.
 

surfe

I am SHOPKEEP. I desire ALL RUBLES.
Hacker
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
83
Caught
Jun 16, 2019
Messages
260
Location
England
Nature
Timid
Pronouns
she/her
Pokémon Type
Dark, Fairy
Pokédex Entry
hi
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #10
wowzers a hack featuring no kanto pokemon instead of all kanto pokemon for a change, me is pleased

chikorita gogogo
wowzers! instead of boring old rattata you get sentret! which is even less interesting and is what every hack puts on route 1 anyway. maybe i should have been creative and put something else there instead. like uh... hmm. whismur?
wowzers!

looking forward to reading this

pick the...uh...popato? potato? beantato? bean? pick the green one :)
wowzers! that's one vote for spud.
Wowzers! I would say pick Cyndaquil because Cyndaquil is the BEST, but if Brock is still Rock-type, then you probably want one of the other two. So I'll say Totodile.
wowzers! actually chikorita is the best, but nobody's right all the time. that's a vote for totodile!
wowzers! i'm gonna have to vote for the green baby because you're going on a journey to overcome yourself, and you need an emotional support bean dinosaur
wowzers! how is a green baby supposed to help me, babies are notorious poor in combat. but fine. 2 for spud!

(i picked my starter ingame after this comments so all your other votes were meaningless! mwahahaha, democracy is a sham!!)
Wowzers! Pick the mystery box Totodile is the superior starter.
wowzers! that's also incorrect. but i appreciate your vote.
wowsers, i want small text from next chapter take the damn mystery box
gl to you and also you
wowzers! the mystery box isn't a thing. you'd have wasted your vote, had i not already admitted to not counting it.

don't wish the other me good look!!! they don't deserve it.
On the one hand I have no real preference for you to pick either of the starters (pick the mystery box!), but on the other hand chikorita is literally a good bean, so pick chikorita. And name them Wowzers.
wowzers! it's too late to name my starter that, but maybe something else can be wowzers instead...
truly this hack is pretty wowzers.

anyway use the fucking snack wrapper chikorita.
wowzers! why's it a snack wrapper though.


the choice has been made! i'm going with this... bean? potato? i'm receiving conflicting reports here.


just covering my bases.


two starters??? lucky me!


oh, you're a naughty little bean, huh? a cheeky lil' turnip.


tch. didn't even need a potion. imagine if i'd been using my full power, heh heh heh...


he can't say hi himself because the map maker walled him into that tiny corner and now he can never escape. solve this puzzle, soft lockpicking.


it's none of your business what i was called for, you nosy so-and-so.


oak you greedy jerk you don't need two pokedexs


so lazy, deferring everything to someone else. truly my rival is a reflection of my worst qualities.


he said it was automatic! oak how do i put the pokemon in

(there's no national dex until postgame! so the dex is a bit... useless right now. don't worry, this doesn't effect gameplay in any way : p)


first catch! imagine finding a lost pokeball and the ot is just "me". that'd be real helpful.


eww this clock has a rash. better put some cream on that!


okay out of all the things in viridian forest this one is like the least interesting. like wow, generic bug in bug forest, who woulda thunk


not gonna go here just yet. there are some scary pokemon here... i mean sure they're all like level 3, but this is a nuzlocke!


isn't it good that irl wildlife doesn't give good exp? you wouldn't see a single caterpillar ever reach maturity.


oh! our first sighting of updated movesets. sure comet punch sucks, but multi-hit moves do pack quite the punch with hp stats this low!


also these things. they're huge sacks of exp. shame i couldn't catch one, i'd like to have been able to show off their upgraded movepools...


aw nuts. i mean sure dustox is probably better, but i wanted a beautifly anyway.


that's all the grinding for the route 22 catch! boy, i hope it doesn't turn out to be something that completely sucks butt and makes all this grinding feel pointless.


oh no! the thing i feared came true!


oh no... in a moment of weakness i... i used a capital letter. i realised all too late...

father... forgive me...

also no huge power, dang. guess i'm stuck with this chump.


rival stats: grinded for. ground for? anyway,


so to make things easier for myself i kept levels the same as vanilla, but can i just complain for a moment? why are your rival's levels so high!!! kanto's pre-brock grind is really bad. what kanto really needs is some more earlygame trainers. like a youngster and a lass on route 2 with a rattata and pidgey or something. or maybe a new area west of pewter city with some trainers and higher level mons to catch...


rant over. owl dead. take that, owl! wom sure cleaned your clock.


nice stab, loser. all three starters get their stabs at level 8 in this hack but i made sure your rival's mon doesn't have its stab move for this battle just to be fair. i think vanilla frlg does the same?


through his experience wom became an adult and gained all the existential dread that came with being such. whoops.


"you have pokemon? come on, that's not fair! fight with your fists like a man."


the bug catchers aren't thrilling. they mostly just use wurmple and its evos + ledyba. i could have given them some later game bugs, but i decided i didn't want to. would have felt a bit strange to have them showing off things you can't catch this early on...


i should have let hoothoot learn this earlier! not sure why i didn't. guess that's for next patch...


why is this picture there? it was in my screenshots folder for some reason, right after the last one. what does it mean...


the last bug snatcher has one of these. it's exp!


sluuuuurp. it also had uproar, which hurts a bit.


oh boo, that's not nearly enough exp for brock! time to grind... maybe one day i will make a hack with an exp area west of pewter.


oh also this is a rule. that's right, i'm hardcore. my core is solid. try to cut me in half, you'll hit a tough bit while you're cutting that will stop you from going all the way through.




grinding! i don't think any of these moves are different, i just decided to show them anyway. not sure why.


criminal scum


parill's doing better than i thought! if only he would stop yelling his name.


thanks


no i'm me. here is someone else from a different joke.


thought you'd use a grass type mon? ha, bamboozled!


luckily the ai is very stupid.


you fool. you have rock tomb.


go back to the prehistoric age you shrimp.


anorith was there to bamboozle grass types, corsola bamboozles water types. and is tanky af apparently?


corsola has hustle so this hurts, if it ever connects... if i ever do decide to release a patch with non-vanilla levels brock's levels are getting lowered, along with the route 22 rival battle.


pobeanto? pobeanto where'd you go


oh there he is


good tm
 

Cleffachi

Training to be Cute
Writer
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
8
Caught
May 15, 2019
Messages
132
Location
yes
Nature
Naive
Pronouns
She/Her/They/Them
Pokémon Type
Dark, Fairy
Pokédex Entry
This Pokemon is a shark! It tends to dislike cynicism and being mean.
oh ok its a pobeanto! that’s good to know.
pobeanto is rlly good i love it
that tm is also really good
looking forward to cool catches
 

Zorua3

On-and-off Nuzlocker
Artist
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
387
Caught
Jul 5, 2019
Messages
89
Location
Somewhere in Unova.
Nature
Quirky
Pronouns
He/him
Pokémon Type
Dark
Pokédex Entry
I'd copy-paste the Zorua Pokedex entry, but I'm too lazy.
I'm not sure when that "me" joke will get old, but I strongly suggest that you beat it into the ground. Comedy gold!

I'm interested to see if Chikorita fares better in Kanto (Kanto with no Kanto Pokemon, but still) since it's garbage in its debut region. It does have a type good against the first few gyms instead of a type bad against them like in GSC and HGSS.
 

Lefington

The most legitimate plant you'll ever see.
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
131
Caught
Jun 23, 2019
Messages
66
Nature
Naughty
Pronouns
He/him
Pokémon Type
Grass, Fairy
pobeanto shall rule the world probably maybe hopefully
wow you sure bamboozled us all with that brock lead tho
go go not kanto friends
 

Mattman324

he's always watching you know
Screenshotter
Pokédex No.
159
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
304
Location
This forum, as of now
Nature
Adamant
Pronouns
YUUSHA
Pokémon Type
Electric, Steel
Pokédex Entry
KITA KITA KITA
<img src="/forum/proxy.php?image=https%3A%2F%2Fcdn.discordapp.com%2Fattachments%2F299214517961752578%2F613821011959480340%2F152_Red_40_-_Copy.png&hash=1d02e046d53577435349be9c91a0a623" data-url="https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/299214517961752578/613821011959480340/152_Red_40_-_Copy.png" class="bbImage" data-zoom-target="1" alt="" style="" />
why is this picture there? it was in my screenshots folder for some reason, right after the last one. what does it mean...


?

I'm not sure when that "me" joke will get old, but I strongly suggest that you beat it into the ground. Comedy gold!

I'm interested to see if Chikorita fares better in Kanto (Kanto with no Kanto Pokemon, but still) since it's garbage in its debut region. It does have a type good against the first few gyms instead of a type bad against them like in GSC and HGSS.
spoken like a true person-who-has-never-used-chikorita
 

Zorua3

On-and-off Nuzlocker
Artist
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
387
Caught
Jul 5, 2019
Messages
89
Location
Somewhere in Unova.
Nature
Quirky
Pronouns
He/him
Pokémon Type
Dark
Pokédex Entry
I'd copy-paste the Zorua Pokedex entry, but I'm too lazy.
spoken like a true person-who-has-never-used-chikorita
You have a fair point there, I admit.

"Garbage" is a harsh word for it, I mostly meant that it's bad compared to the other starters. It's a solid Grass type... but Johto is not kind to Grass types. The first two gyms are SE against it and it has no type advantages against the first eight gyms or the Elite Four. It is a solid support and defensive Pokemon. The other two starters are better imo though, and IIRC Meganium is the lowest of the three on the GS Nuzlocke Viability Rankings. Still, though, "garbage" is an overstatement for sure.
 

Mattman324

he's always watching you know
Screenshotter
Pokédex No.
159
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
304
Location
This forum, as of now
Nature
Adamant
Pronouns
YUUSHA
Pokémon Type
Electric, Steel
Pokédex Entry
KITA KITA KITA
and IIRC Meganium is the lowest of the three on the GS Nuzlocke Viability Rankings.
having been a major part of how that list came to be, yes, I am aware. I’m also aware that this is because Feraligatr is fucking absurd and Typhlosion is ridiculous, so comparing it to those is exceedingly unfair when it is straight up one of the best tanks you can get (especially because despite how “unfair” Johto is to the thing, very little actually has the moves to fucking hit it hard.)
 

SlasherMacGuff

Extremely Popular Nuzlocker (Don't look that up)
Pokédex No.
685
Caught
Aug 17, 2019
Messages
13
Nature
Jolly
Pronouns
me is a boy
Pokémon Type
Steel
Pokédex Entry
Think's it's funny but mostly gets people to laugh out of pity. And sometimes not even that.
Cool hack. cool run. Interested to see what happens next!
 

NeoShade

Well-known member
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
691
Caught
Aug 19, 2019
Messages
99
Location
Australia
Nature
Quiet
Pronouns
he/him/his
Pokémon Type
Fire, Dark
Pokédex Entry
Tends to shy away from humans. Able to procrastinate for up to a year at a time.
I enjoy this, but... what's the TM????
 

lineonthepaper

eon
Artist
Screenshotter
Pokédex No.
582
Caught
Jul 26, 2019
Messages
38
Location
dumb land
Nature
Timid
Pronouns
she
Pokémon Type
Normal, ???
Pokédex Entry
Probably one of the dumbest yet luckiest Pokemon. Is terrible at socialising, yet has friends anyway.
yo, cool run! insanely funny from the get-go and hope to see what's next soon!
 

Cirr

I'm a bot! (maybe)
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
216
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
541
Pronouns
beep/boop
Pokémon Type
Ghost, Normal
Pokédex Entry
Fails Captchas with regularity
wowzers pobeanto I'm late to this party

that screenshot is the best

good tm
 

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