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Screenshot Johto Commentary heartgold but i think its broken

k80

h
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
92
Caught
Jun 16, 2019
Messages
88
Location
h
Nature
Rash
Pronouns
she/her
Pokémon Type
Electric, Bug
Pokédex Entry
h
so i was gonna do this thing where i played and planned out a full nuzlocke, but then all the cool kids posted runs to welcome the new forums so now i have to do one with no prior planning or thought. i havent really played pokemon in years so im interested in just how garbage ill be at it. i havent played ahead at all so maybe ill just lose halfway through that would be wild. totally normal run of heartgold with nothing going on. completely vanilla, ignore the tags.

1. if it faints, box it forever
2. only catch the first encounter. dupes/shiny. gifts are dope
3. nickname everything unless its the corphish you thought would be really funny to name all spaces which actually just means it gets no nickname



i dont actually have anything to say here this just looks nice


woah its me. how quaint


i love how totally normal and not randomized this run is. it would really suck if, somehow, the pokemon got all scrambled or something, you know? i just feel like that would really put a damper on this fun pokemon quest


i wish i got this excited over email

cant wait to pick my starter: chikorita, totodile, or cyndaquil.


oh god ogh fuck oh jeez oh no oh man i dont know what happened what the hell what oh no what oh man oh boy shit shit fuck heck the exact thing i said i hope doesnt happen has appeared to have happened what do i do oh man oh boy

i dont understand im playing this on a real ds cartridge and real nintendo ds (im very good at taking pictures of screens). i dont condone or endorse piracy or emulation in any way so its impossible that a third party tool was used to randomize the game. i operate purely within the confines of copyright law i dont understand i must have dropped gameboy down the stairs just right


that said, magnemite is a cutie and if i have to choose a cursed and evil starter ill go with this one


uh oh oh man thats not the right ability whats happening im not good with computer


ethan. mom. you do not seem nearly as shook as i am right now this is urgent the cosmic scales have been thrown out the (cosmic) window and you two have nothing to say


at least i still get this hotties number 😍


can somebody please call my mom and tell her to come pick me up i am very uncomfortable


one thing that i thought was very cool was how the two first pokemon oh jeez fought both put them to sleep


my beautiful child learned a move and i missed the screenshot, setting the trend for the rest of the foreseeable future. i untoggle turbo for no man.

note for nintendo's lawyers: "turbo" refers to a meditative state i enter in which i perceive the world around me as moving faster than it actually is. this does not refer to a setting on an emulator that makes the game move at a faster speed. i love and respect nintendo and enjoy giving them money and would never condone videogame piracy in any form.


this pun remains unchanged. here i am safe


seriously mom come pick me up im scared


there was this really cool wooper that had aftermath and almost ended the run before i got the pokedex. heres a little secret: oh jeez is actually oh jeez jr, the original was a trapinch who was killed by literally the first wild encounter.


egg


because im a genius i kept the rival's starter resisting your own completely on purpose and not at all on accident


my rival is a tactician with no equal, commanding his dratini to only leer. i suspect future encounters will also be incredibly hard fought victories


in generation four you could still name things swears 😎 gottem

just please dont tell my mom shell ground me and then i cant play on gameboy for a week


i wasnt planning on logging the catching tutorial and then ethan threw out a mewtwo and i almost SCREAMED


uh, thanks


incredible


ok so smeargle as a paint boy is like pretty cute but the paint is just...oozing fluid and now this thing is terrifying.


bro... listen bro look at me bro... Bro listen bro youre my whole world i love you man bro what if kissed bro 😳 😳 bro dont worry just kiss me Bro


psyduck is kin tbh. i get it lil dude im confused and have a headache all the time also


i cant stand smeargle's gimmick so into the box it goes


really cool how this psyduck is incapable of killing something that only knows harden. very nice


current theme for these catches seems to be pokemon that cant like...do anything. hoppip is another real sweet boy so ill stomach switch training it for a while


woah


the other hoppip get intimidate but im not salty or anything


clash of the titans


it seems i (if passionate about copyright law, please read "the ghost who infected my legally obtained copy of heartgold) have made a critical error by forcing similar strength on wild encounters but not on trainers. itll make the run more interesting, so whatever


woah


i was all set to make some snark like "haha, some bug pokemon you got there" but then this bug catcher showed me what a smug fuck i was by actually having one

quick confession i completely forgot mothim existed up until my bug friend here sent one out


then i found a real good babey!!!! a soft boy!!! im in love


trainers are absolutely terrifying right now. my team of small children are having to fight the big boys right away


pretty wacky how the entire roster of pokemon could possibly await me around every corner and im already got two redundant pokemon


i feel robbed that you can't name a pokemon " " and have it show up as that. unreal. i am livid. im gonna have a chat with mr miyamoto about this one. i can't even type out ten spaces on this very forum because it just corrects down to one. this is transphobia. magnet's nice, though


technically i should release this corphish but just pretend i gave it an absolute banger of a nickname and everything's good

that's all i got for this bit but stay tuned for whenever i feel like vomiting more garbage up onto the forum in the form of a part two
 
Last edited:

Jimcloud

Administrator
Administrator
Moderator
🌱Featurer
🎇Contributor
Writer
Screenshotter
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
3
Caught
May 13, 2019
Messages
848
Pronouns
they/he/she
god, narwhal, I am fucking cracking up at this. Holy shit. Your sense of humor is so on point, I love it.

Particular shout out to these bits...

oh god ogh fuck oh jeez oh no oh man i dont know what happened what the hell what oh no what oh man oh boy shit shit fuck heck the exact thing i said i hope doesnt happen has appeared to have happened what do i do oh man oh boy

i dont understand im playing this on a real ds cartridge and real nintendo ds (im very good at taking pictures of screens). i dont condone or endorse piracy or emulation in any way so its impossible that a third party tool was used to randomize the game. i operate purely within the confines of copyright law i dont understand i must have dropped gameboy down the stairs just right
note for nintendo's lawyers: "turbo" refers to a meditative state i enter in which i perceive the world around me as moving faster than it actually is. this does not refer to a setting on an emulator that makes the game move at a faster speed. i love and respect nintendo and enjoy giving them money and would never condone videogame piracy in any form.
my rival is a tactician with no equal, commanding his dratini to only leer. i suspect future encounters will also be incredibly hard fought victories
i feel robbed that you can't name a pokemon " " and have it show up as that. unreal. i am livid. im gonna have a chat with mr miyamoto about this one. i can't even type out ten spaces on this very forum because it just corrects down to one. this is transphobia. magnet's nice, though
I could quote more but id basically be going over half the run at that point rly.

GOD THOUGH WHEN I SAW THE SCREENSHOT OF A MEWTWO ON YOUR SIDE WITHOUT CONTEXT I ALMOST LOST IT TOO!!! SO DONT WORRY!!!

Good luck with your team of children. And good on you for boxing corpish, give it some space and see if it comes around.
 

k80

h
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
92
Caught
Jun 16, 2019
Messages
88
Location
h
Nature
Rash
Pronouns
she/her
Pokémon Type
Electric, Bug
Pokédex Entry
h
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #3
god, narwhal, I am fucking cracking up at this. Holy shit. Your sense of humor is so on point, I love it.

Particular shout out to these bits...

I could quote more but id basically be going over half the run at that point rly.

GOD THOUGH WHEN I SAW THE SCREENSHOT OF A MEWTWO ON YOUR SIDE WITHOUT CONTEXT I ALMOST LOST IT TOO!!! SO DONT WORRY!!!

Good luck with your team of children. And good on you for boxing corpish, give it some space and see if it comes around.
oh shit the admins found me breaking a rule im goin on the run see yall later

jim i am TERRIFIED of ethan now. that marill is hiding something

thamks


my first order of business was to level up my collection of sons until they got stab. woah was excluded from this, as he does not get any until level 19. yes, really


trainer pokemon can range from harmless to terrifying. luckily, johto levels are a little concerning so there shouldn't be too many scares outside of gyms and rival


theres an incredibly low chance this will ever be useful but i appreciate it


i guess i really am never allowed to catch something capable of doing anything other than stealing my heart. i love all my children, but i do really wish they weren't all terrified of anything with a bst above like 350


adaptability is great but it wont actually mean anything until level 19 again. no flower gift sucks though, no real reason to ever see flower form


quick retreat to get snacke up to speede


bitch that doesnt... those arent... that doesnt correlate man


VERY excited for mr strong pokemon only to have, like, a sunflora


a HILARIOUS joke here from game freak. this is what's called a "pun," defined as "a form of word play that exploits multiple meanings of a term, or of similar-sounding words, for an intended humorous or rhetorical effect. These ambiguities can arise from the intentional use of homophonic, homographic, metonymic, or figurative language. " (source: Wikipedia). the pun here derives from the fact that the name and title of my oppenet Elder Li is pronounced "ɛldər li," which sound similar if not exactly the same as the word "elderly" (pronounced "ɛldərli"). This joke is accurate, as the elder of sprout tower elder li is an older gentleman, which falls under the definition of "elderly" (rather old, especially being past middle age) (source: Merriam-Webster). This is funny.


kind of a terrifying start, but ice/ground is a terrible defensive typing so we'll be fine. how easily this piloswine was dropped doesnt bode terribly well for !!!!! but ill protect my boy


this was after ONE mega drain. this vileplume is not playing around at all. it took !!!!! three or four powder snows to get it low and then i thought for sure he was about to be oneshot.


please ignore this i am not normally this much of a dumbass


everything on my team but me too had to help to bring this beast down. it was regenning about as much damage as oh jeez could put on it each turn. woah swapped in to tail whip it and also just not get mega drain but with literally no damage output he had to pass it over to snacke, who vileplume refused to actually attack and still almost got killed by poison before it could tackle vileplume to death. this really doesnt bode well for gyms in the future, whore only gonna outpace me more and more until this team finally decides to evolve around level 30. i can get by on sheer levels on most trainers but this one pokemon was hard as hell to put down and theyre only gonna get access to better and better moves


thank god his final pokemon is as babey as my team. i mightve wiped if it was another third stage


dont jinx it man now falkners gonna have groudon or some shit. or just any grass type because despite having two of them this team is woefully underequipped to handle them right now




this was from one pokemon. i deadass had to take a break after this because my nerves were going pig fuckin wild


hey, this was a terrifying popup


ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh SHIT nice. holy shit nice. nice dude NICE 69 funny number


only really notable thing to come out of the grind for falkner was that woah learned a move that could actually damage another pokemon??? they grow up so fast


hey. hey. what the fuck is going on in falkner's gym. i have to wheel around half of my children in a stroller and these trainers just pull this out of their ass


hahahahahhahaha wait guys wait haha but he doesnt have those!!! silly falkner haha you talk about pokemon you dont have!!! i am very funny


first pokemon and we're already in big uh oh territory


luckily most things still have relatively weak stab. if i didnt have a resist this mightve gotten ugly, though


this is MASSIVE. most pokemon are gonna be tankier than what my team is supposed to be fighting, but 20 hp is still a lot for most things. being able to ignore defenses on something with a good of number of resists if gonna get me out of what normally be a lot of sticky situations. unfortunately, thisll fall off fairly hard before most of the current team evolves. its a nice crutch for now


hahaha thats not a birf haha silly man


:)


nice sprite dork


thank god i had a resist, the rest of my team is weak to this thing


i dont have any commentary for this i just felt like it was an important thing to screenshot




you know what the saw, cant egg an omelette without making a couple breaks


oh, yay. what a good pokemon to put on my team. i am excited


youd think a team with two grass types would really appreciate a miracle seed. thats, uh, not the case


woah look a really dusty jawbreaker. score


a camper was busy talking on the phone and then threw this thing out to shut my bitch ass up.


why do i even bother


hey what the FUCK is going on in the water is fisherman can just pull these two out. thank god lugia wasn't the level 15 or i might have had the honor of the first failed run on the new forums


egg??


egg!! kinda ironic for the official team bapy to be the only fully evolved member but im not complaining.


im???? what???? i didnt touch movesets at all so how the fuck

aw beans oh man i ran out of screenshots (remember: i am not emulating. i am stealing the 'hip lingo' to describe pictures of a physical, legally obtained copy of pokemon heartgold) so this is all i got for now
 

Jimcloud

Administrator
Administrator
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🎇Contributor
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Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
3
Caught
May 13, 2019
Messages
848
Pronouns
they/he/she
uhhhh nARWHAL THAT WAS A LITTLE BIT OF A SCARE TBH PAL. A LITTLE BIT OF A LOT OF A SCARE. You are just playing with fire 100% all the time without pause, huh. Terrifying.
 
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Nate

A friend
Pokédex No.
74
Caught
Jun 16, 2019
Messages
343
Location
Hypercam Registration Office
Nature
Jolly
Pronouns
he/him
Pokémon Type
Rock
Pokédex Entry
Oh, so when Onix eats rocks and soil, it's fine, but when I do it, it's suddenly "an affront to nature" and "destroying Mrs. Crenshaw's zen garden"?

Squiggy Azalea

a goode boy
Moderator
🎇Contributor
Screenshotter
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
15
Caught
May 20, 2019
Messages
313
Location
italy
Nature
Jolly
Pronouns
He/they
Pokémon Type
Electric, Grass
Pokédex Entry
pizza pasta mamma mia
i like this very cool run made by my very cool friend narwhal c:

good luck on this run made by your totally legit microsoft ds, those dumb nintendo ninjas won't hit you you're completely safe
 
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BritishAirSnails

Conqueror of the Saffron Gym
Writer
Pokédex No.
90
Caught
Jun 16, 2019
Messages
80
Location
I come from my house
Nature
Modest
Pokémon Type
Grass, Fairy
Pokédex Entry
Beware the BritishAirSnail. They come from the sky and leave their slime EVERYWHERE
Lol oh man, those trainers are TERRIFYING! Packing around a buunch of legendaries and fully evolved dudes! I actually appreciate how it gives the world a kind of realism. If there actually were Pokes and Trainers, you bet your ass you wouldn't just be encountering the ones you're on level with. There would be some asshat lurking around the first routes with his fully evolved arsenal to take our the newbies for cheap thrills.
 

k80

h
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
92
Caught
Jun 16, 2019
Messages
88
Location
h
Nature
Rash
Pronouns
she/her
Pokémon Type
Electric, Bug
Pokédex Entry
h
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #8
uhhhh nARWHAL THAT WAS A LITTLE BIT OF A SCARE TBH PAL. A LITTLE BIT OF A LOT OF A SCARE. You are just playing with fire 100% all the time without pause, huh. Terrifying.
i have no fear, jim. thats a lie actually i have a lot of fear its just all my possible pokemon are bapie as hell and i have no choice but to throw caution to the wind

i love you

i like this very cool run made by my very cool friend narwhal c:

good luck on this run made by your totally legit microsoft ds, those dumb nintendo ninjas won't hit you you're completely safe
wow is that squiggy i heard that guy was really cool and good

thanks for noticing that im playing this on a real ds with no modifications i really appreciate it

Lol oh man, those trainers are TERRIFYING! Packing around a buunch of legendaries and fully evolved dudes! I actually appreciate how it gives the world a kind of realism. If there actually were Pokes and Trainers, you bet your ass you wouldn't just be encountering the ones you're on level with. There would be some asshat lurking around the first routes with his fully evolved arsenal to take our the newbies for cheap thrills.
i mean a fisherman just pulling a heatran out of a river isn't what id consider realistic but i totally get where youre coming from


damn i really needed a water type super happy this was my catch here


quickly getting ho-oh sort of up to level. as the one non bapie member of the team i have a feeling hes going to level relatively quickly


encounters like this are suddenly far less threatening, itll be nice to have something to babysit the team until they all evolve at like level 30


my swinub decided it would be really funny if it missed mud slap five times in a row (it wasnt)


ah fuck i spilled water on the commentary for this screenshot sorry guys


whoah haha this is really funny cause like haha its like a haha it sounds like its talking about a penus haha


thought process here went something like "hey good thing this has such a shitty abi- oh wait fuck fuck FUCK"

i am having fun


holy SHIT it isnt a water type. ive never used a slugma and snacke has been in like one total battle so this is a pretty clear sub onto the main team. also i missed the screenshot but i nicknamed it gamer. please laugh


team rocket's relationship status be like i am:
[] single
[] in a relationship
[] married
[] it's complicatied
[ ✔ ] guy eateng chips crunch mungch cronch


i didnt know barry was in this game


yes, it is bad that team rocket is cutting the tails off of slowpoke, but the slowpoke are also attacking rockets when they go to dismember them. there was aggression on both sides so its actually impossible to say which side is good and which side is bad. the answer, clearly, is somewhere in the middle. how about the slowpoke and the rockets just compromise, and agree to only cut off some of the tails??


what a stellar moveset


got a real boy fest goin on here.


bug

i will take literally anything that isnt part water at this point i swear to god


pickup is pretty cool but i dont really want to sub anything out for it right now.


got the professional video Gamer caught up with the rest of the team


first rocket was the only other guy catching wild pokemon, he had this and a horsea


i said:
thought process here went something like "hey good thing this has such a shitty abi- oh wait fuck fuck FUCK"

i am having fun

every boss fight has the potential to be really dangerous, so i need to approach them all cautiously and carefully so i don't make any unnecessary mistakes


lol


team rocket is REALLY insecure about breaking up. best just leave it alone


and then my dumb bitch ass triggered this silver fight way before i was ready because i STILL dont know where it starts


luckily, ho-oh can carry us through the first pokemon. gamer probably could've handled this too, but id rather just let the nuke handle everything it can


HEWWO?!?! HEWWO?!?! when the suspicious actor that wasn't me randomized this game and set the rival to keep their starter it didn't realize it would evolve at the same rate as if it was a normal starter!!!! what the fuck!!!!


if i had used !!!!! to switch grind gamer just the tiniest bit less he wouldve died right here. who the FUCK thought putting dragon rage on something level 15 was anything approaching okay


my first genius strategy was to heal stall until it leered again and then one more powder snow would finish it off. instead, this strategy just made me use up all my healing

we have a real problem here. oh jeez, whoa, gamer, ho-oh, and !!!!! all either don't have enough or have lost too much health to tank a dragon rage. switching into any of these basically guarantees a death, and me too isn't fast enough to get a first hit in and will die anyway. it was probably impossible for me to get out of this without something dying.


dragonair always opted to try and finish !!!!! with twister while i was stalling, so i knew something could at least exist long enough for me to do the only thing that would let me get out of this without a wipe


gamer, i'm sorry. your time on this team was short but your sacrifice will not be forgotten. removing paralysis allows ho-oh to outspeed dragonair and


oh. while it's easy to go "DRAGON RAGE IS BULLSHIT!!!!! 😡 😡 " this just a dumbass play. peck or extrasensory probably wouldve secured the kill. instead i went for fury attack figuring two hits would kill it and if it didnt it would probably hit more times anyway. instead, i got the low roll and lost my one good pokemon for it


smug asshole just leered and let me too finish it off


my rival is a tactician with no equal, commanding his dratini to only leer. i suspect future encounters will also be incredibly hard fought victories
VERY excited for mr strong pokemon only to have, like, a sunflora
:^)


this is the second time ive accidentally triggered this fight early and lost something to it. having a not baby let me get cocky and lose one more pokemon than i had to. gamer was basically a guaranteed loss, but i fucked up bad losing ho-oh too


bug is gonna be a new team mainstay. snacke is just padding out space until i catch something else


which happened instantly! tyrogue is absolutely horrible but it evolves fairly early and the hitmons are all probably even better than ho-oh. it still sucks to lose him, but luckily ill still have some form of heavy hitter to protect the team for a while


rivalry is... not great though


something light to end the update, this geniunely made me laugh out loud for a while and is funnier than anything i have ever written

update ends here because tyrogue and burmy are both going to be hellgrinds and i didnt feel like doing it
 

Jimcloud

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Administrator
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May 13, 2019
Messages
848
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they/he/she

something light to end the update, this geniunely made me laugh out loud for a while and is funnier than anything i have ever written
au contraire mon frere, you just fucking wrote that absolute banger of a hot take about slowpokes that had me fucking bust out laughing in the middle of a call thus forcing me to share it with like four other people

Jesus christ that was funny im dying

not dying as hard as half your fucking team but hey

that's fucking brutal jesus christ i am so sorry
 
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Nate

A friend
Pokédex No.
74
Caught
Jun 16, 2019
Messages
343
Location
Hypercam Registration Office
Nature
Jolly
Pronouns
he/him
Pokémon Type
Rock
Pokédex Entry
Oh, so when Onix eats rocks and soil, it's fine, but when I do it, it's suddenly "an affront to nature" and "destroying Mrs. Crenshaw's zen garden"?

Squiggy Azalea

a goode boy
Moderator
🎇Contributor
Screenshotter
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
15
Caught
May 20, 2019
Messages
313
Location
italy
Nature
Jolly
Pronouns
He/they
Pokémon Type
Electric, Grass
Pokédex Entry
pizza pasta mamma mia
fucking DRAGON RAGE is dumb as shit

it's always been dumb and fuckin christ it will always be dumb

anyways rip gamer and ho-oh they will be in our hearts. please rise up for the national gamer anthem

also can we fuckin talk about that fuckin slowpoke thing jesus christ that was amazing
 
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Bug

👉😎👉
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Tech Team
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Team Delta
Pokédex No.
1
Caught
May 13, 2019
Messages
897
Location
in a pile of bugs
Nature
Rash
Pronouns
he/him
Pokémon Type
Bug, Cute
Pokédex Entry
oh fuck oh shit my dots...............................................................................................................................
egg

i love you man bro what if kissed bro 😳 😳 bro dont worry just kiss me Bro
1397

i was all set to make some snark like "haha, some bug pokemon you got there" but then this bug catcher showed me what a smug fuck i was by actually having one
Talk shit, oh you know

technically i should release this corphish but just pretend i gave it an absolute banger of a nickname and everything's good
🚨 MA'AM YOU ARE UNDER ARREST!!




please ignore this i am not normally this much of a dumbass
I think this sums up how much you panicked in this fight

hey. hey. what the fuck is going on in falkner's gym. i have to wheel around half of my children in a stroller and these trainers just pull this out of their ass
1398

haha twopac


thought process here went something like "hey good thing this has such a shitty abi- oh wait fuck fuck FUCK"
1399

team rocket's relationship status be like i am:
[] single
[] in a relationship
[] married
[] it's complicatied
[ ✔ ] guy eateng chips crunch mungch cronch
Why is this so funny? WHY are you so funny?

me

1400


something light to end the update, this geniunely made me laugh out loud for a while and is funnier than anything i have ever written
Honestly? Funny as shit. Sir, please love your children.

So, caught up, and this is SO fucking funny, what the FUCK. I am so happy you decided to just.... go for it. Like, this makes me want to do a run, because this was FUN to read. Bless this baby squad.
 

k80

h
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
92
Caught
Jun 16, 2019
Messages
88
Location
h
Nature
Rash
Pronouns
she/her
Pokémon Type
Electric, Bug
Pokédex Entry
h
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #13
au contraire mon frere, you just fucking wrote that absolute banger of a hot take about slowpokes that had me fucking bust out laughing in the middle of a call thus forcing me to share it with like four other people

Jesus christ that was funny im dying

not dying as hard as half your fucking team but hey

that's fucking brutal jesus christ i am so sorry
to be perfectly honest when i read your reply i laughed at the girafarig thing again

please do not laugh at my opinion on slowpokes i am a proud centrist

what the fuck IS this dude. i appreciate h in any form but im a little scared now

fucking DRAGON RAGE is dumb as shit

it's always been dumb and fuckin christ it will always be dumb

anyways rip gamer and ho-oh they will be in our hearts. please rise up for the national gamer anthem

also can we fuckin talk about that fuckin slowpoke thing jesus christ that was amazing
that minecraft song is actually so sad. i miss gamer

can you all please stop laughing at me on the slowpoke thing. god the internet is so radical nowadays. have you considered that the anti-rockets might be the real rockets???

egg


View attachment 1397


Talk shit, oh you know


🚨 MA'AM YOU ARE UNDER ARREST!!





I think this sums up how much you panicked in this fight


View attachment 1398


haha twopac


View attachment 1399


Why is this so funny? WHY are you so funny?


me


View attachment 1400


Honestly? Funny as shit. Sir, please love your children.

So, caught up, and this is SO fucking funny, what the FUCK. I am so happy you decided to just.... go for it. Like, this makes me want to do a run, because this was FUN to read. Bless this baby squad.
oh god oh fuck its the feds quick hide the corphish

holy shit my babeys!!! thos are some cute boys oh my god i love them!!!!!!

legit feel like an idiot for not coming up with twopac

glad you enjoyed the read so much! i exist solely to be laughed at so im glad its working

we open on the wilds just outside of azalea town. a large, smoking crater has been burned into the countryside, and the locals have been informed to stay inside. populations of the wild pokemon in the area have been attacked by an unknown force. it is speculated that the nidoran and cherubi populations may never recover. from the crater, i emerge. my hair has grayed. my face contorted by wrinkles that express a pain seen in few other places. i have a noticeable limp that i fear may never go away. i push a ragged, torn stroller housing most of my pokemon. they, too, have been scarred by the untold amount time spent training for the battle against the warrior known only in human tongues as bugsy, has it been hours? days? years? it matters not. time has lost all meaning and battle is now all that matters.

what im trying to say is this grind took fucking FOREVER. did you know a burmy cant kill anything by itself until, like, level 15??? and neither can tyrogue??? another cool fact: level 6 wilds barely give out any xp! pokemon is fun!


look bug i miss ho-oh too but this isnt gonna bring him back


it seems that if there is a god up there she doesnt think i have enough water types


threepac had this on him, but unfortunately nothing could learn it


these happened thought that was pretty cool


🦀 🦀 🦀 RIVALRY IS GONE 🦀 🦀 🦀


(somberly) 🦀 🦀 🦀 pickup is gone 🦀 🦀 🦀

why did i choose trash wormadam? because both of its attacks stats are 69 and thats called comedy, baby


h and bug were taken up to level 20 for obvious reasons (bug evolved after this screenshot was taken and i didnt feel like getting another one). everything else is level 18 because uhhhhh i got bored


do yall ever just


this was the most terrified i have ever been to watch a platform verly slowly move across a rope


honestly i dont know why i screenshot these we all know what theyre gonna say what insight am i even gonna add? "haha i bet you totally have some bug types 😎 "


i will forever screenshot these, because i think they look cool


praise be the ace is a hoppip! the relief i felt here could not be rivalled


please dont ask why i had to switch to kill a hoppip because i honestly dont know


OH SHIT A SLA- wait i have two steel types


can i be real with you guys for a second? this was the hardest one.


kept confusing everything and metronomed into rollout so i had to use protect to cancel it. can you imagine feeling threatened by a togepi??? cause i sure do


only thing that could learn it was woah so itll just sit in the bag for probably ever


sometimes i even surprise myself with how good i am at videogames. please, ill sign autographs later


wow! this sure is great!


one (1) pokemon i own could learn cut, and its the illegal one. nobody tell jim or bug


this is actually really huge because have you seen hitmonlee's moveset??? Capture.PNG
it learns all its stab that doesnt kill it before you can legally get it???? who is responsible for this. tms are mega fucked and who knows if im ever gonna get a heart scale so h basically just doesnt get stab. ill basically only use hjk when im feeling frisky and also it wont lead to instant death so headbutt is like its main damage for most of the game


Cool beans cool beans cool cool beans cool beans (cool beans) cool Beans cool beans

cool beans


and then i caught a good pokemon what????? its still ANOTHER water type but like one that ill actually consider using


only really eventful thing on this route was a volt absorb staraptor, which is has big please keep it away from me energy


which, say it with me kids, is a MEWTWO


i don't get the heterosexual's relationships. like who's the girl and who's the other girl??? it makes no sense


OWO???


umu.............


adaptability is really nice! it should keep it on evo too cause the line keeps the same ability the whole way through, i'm not gonna box my current son, but if anything happens to me too gmail is a pretty no brainer sub.

anyone else have lucid moments where they realize theyre really stupid?? cause i just had one of those with my nicknames and having three pokemon named tupac isnt helping


some nice tms in the game corner. octazooka and smthn else i dont remember but it was good not pictured. unfortunately, compatability isnt really on my side for any of them so im gonna have to abstain


the most realistic part of pokemon games was always how the police attack you on sight for no reason

another really cool thing that happened right here was that i was trapped in an infinite, uncaring abyss! kinda strange because it feels like a glitch like that would only happen to a game-stealing pirate which i am clearly not, but i digress. i had to, uh, take the cartridge out and blow on it before reloading the game from a manual save (which are the only kind i can do) to fix it


was gonna make a joke abt whitney being too dumb to win the quiz but i fucked it up like 4 times so i guess im the real dumb bitch


two gyms? in my update? it's more likely than you think


i dont know what to do for the rest of the run because with h and bug i cant just go "LOOK AT BABEY" anymore. i have good children so what the hell am i supposed to talk about now? the damage on the blaziken was after one fake out, by the way. im pretty sure it was a crit but my point still stands


pranked


lol


this battle led to some pretty serious self-reflection and ive gotta say it: i am whitney. im a dumb idiot who mostly cares about how cute the pokemon is and does things because other people do and also WILL cry. im not cute but ill get there one day


bruh sound effect 2

thats the end of the screenshots but just hear me out here for a second. this family does have two pretty good members now, but that opens up more issues. the other four pokemon are all still bapie, so if im not just playing to types they dont see a lot of use. im not nearly as likely to send out a swinub or a skiploom to merc some random as i am a hitmonlee or wormadam, you know? this leads to a problem of the rich getting richer, h and bug are getting levels when they dont really need them while the baby squad (thanks for the art bug!!) isnt getting any stat ups when they really do need them. there wasnt a point to this little ending bit i just wanted to bring it up.
 

Bug

👉😎👉
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Tech Team
🌱Featurer
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Artist
Writer
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
1
Caught
May 13, 2019
Messages
897
Location
in a pile of bugs
Nature
Rash
Pronouns
he/him
Pokémon Type
Bug, Cute
Pokédex Entry
oh fuck oh shit my dots...............................................................................................................................
we open on the wilds just outside of azalea town. a large, smoking crater has been burned into the countryside, and the locals have been informed to stay inside. populations of the wild pokemon in the area have been attacked by an unknown force. it is speculated that the nidoran and cherubi populations may never recover. from the crater, i emerge. my hair has grayed. my face contorted by wrinkles that express a pain seen in few other places. i have a noticeable limp that i fear may never go away. i push a ragged, torn stroller housing most of my pokemon. they, too, have been scarred by the untold amount time spent training for the battle against the warrior known only in human tongues as bugsy, has it been hours? days? years? it matters not. time has lost all meaning and battle is now all that matters.
This is, one HELL of an open.
And it's only made funnier by the fact that bugsy was a massive pushover

one (1) pokemon i own could learn cut, and its the illegal one. nobody tell jim or bug



only really eventful thing on this route was a volt absorb staraptor, which is has big please keep it away from me energy
1415

i don't get the heterosexual's relationships. like who's the girl and who's the other girl??? it makes no sense
I went slack jaw for a moment before I started to cackle, and had to stutter out this line to Red. Bless.

anyone else have lucid moments where they realize theyre really stupid?? cause i just had one of those with my nicknames and having three pokemon named tupac isnt helping
same, like, 24/7
it's hard being a funny bitch, but I believe in all the funny bitches out there. stupid solidarity.

anyways, haulin ass in this run. Johto is dummy big, tho, so.... still a lot to do. :'D
 
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Nate

A friend
Pokédex No.
74
Caught
Jun 16, 2019
Messages
343
Location
Hypercam Registration Office
Nature
Jolly
Pronouns
he/him
Pokémon Type
Rock
Pokédex Entry
Oh, so when Onix eats rocks and soil, it's fine, but when I do it, it's suddenly "an affront to nature" and "destroying Mrs. Crenshaw's zen garden"?

Raderph

A Radical Earthling
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
75
Caught
Jun 16, 2019
Messages
49
Location
Western Australia
Nature
Relaxed
Pronouns
He/Him
Pokémon Type
Electric, Grass
its ok narwhal you're better than whitney you're already cute.

i cant believe you finally found out how to get defog in dppt all you have to do is trade it from this very legit version of hgss
 
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Jimcloud

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Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
3
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May 13, 2019
Messages
848
Pronouns
they/he/she

one (1) pokemon i own could learn cut, and its the illegal one. nobody tell jim or bug
🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨 🚨

Grats on the double gym, im too fried to say more beyond ur comedy lights up my day, ty for blessing us with it
 
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ZHODY

Conqueror of the Saffron Gym
Writer
Pokédex No.
245
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
64
Location
Solaceon Town
Pronouns
Female
Pokémon Type
Fire, Fairy
Pokédex Entry
ZHODY have minimal knowledge of almost every subject. They take pride in this.
i love all of this, yes
 
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Obelisk

no sleep only wepears
Writer
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
155
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
143
Nature
Quirky
Pronouns
He/Him
Pokémon Type
Electric
Pokédex Entry
Eccentric 'locker obsessed with Magikarp.
Holy fuck, I had a stupid grin on my face through this entire opening and I nearly cracked up at all of the obvious Blatant Lies.

Hilarious run with some absolutely horrifying pokemon swaps (the Lugia and the random Regigigas come to mind). Keep it up and keep the team alive! I wrote the previous sentence before reading the rival battle. I am completely stupid.

You got me hooked with how goofy this is. I'm along for the ride now.

BTW, are you ending this at the E4 or are you going all the way to Red?
 

lesbian xion

Conqueror of the Cerulean Gym
Pokédex No.
264
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
13
Nature
Quiet
Pronouns
she/they
Pokémon Type
Grass, Fairy
i caught up to this and holy shit, this is hilarious

good luck keeping the team alive !! it's a crazy world out there o:
 

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