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Roll to Dodge Election RTD (Epilogue)

Thread Description
Politics be wack, yo.

Krashkube

Conqueror of the Celadon Gym
Pokédex No.
1715
Caught
Mar 27, 2020
Messages
35
I go to get an exorcism all these changes are pretty damn weird not gonna lie
 

XearnesGeo

The Life Pokemon
Pokédex No.
2183
Caught
Jun 30, 2020
Messages
68
Location
Hoenn
Nature
Calm
Pronouns
It/Pokemon
Pokémon Type
Fairy, Normal
Pokédex Entry
This Pokemon is not very good at nuzlockes and sucks at grinding and quits nuzlockes when grinding is very very bad.
where is eveeryone
 

Aureum

And the gods shall know his name.
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
338
Caught
Jul 2, 2019
Messages
1,280
Location
Good Ol’ Maple Syrup Island
Nature
Lonely
Pronouns
He, Him
Pokémon Type
Dark, Fighting
Pokédex Entry
A passionate bunch, Aureums are limited by their own minds. Who knows what happens when they break through their mental barriers?
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #163
Sorry for the wait y’all! Well, it’s the end of Turn 12! This means y’all have officially made it through the first third of the election! Honestly, props to y’all on that one.

I go on an epic training montage to gain more strength
{5} Well, you put on your Rocky music and start training. Apparently you’re a damn prodigy, as in one day you definitely feel powerful! Your muscles are in pretty good shape, and everything feels lighter than before.

yesssss

for my next trick, I hire more staff to power my campaign up
{3} You hire your cousin Steve. He’s your errand boy. Everybody wants to comment on how their boss hired his relative, but they don’t want to risk upsetting you. But hey, Steve is good as his job!

Free Get Out of Jail Free Cards... FOR EVERYONE!
{2} You decide to instead pick up the Harmonica. You’re getting pretty good at it, and your fellow inmates listen to you play it. Even the cops like it, too bad you’re still in jail waiting for your trial.

how about we make a law that requires everybody to say bad puns (e.g. "shall be exeggcuted") in every sentence that they say, and failure to think of a bad pun will result in jail time? what could possibly go wrong?
{3} Considering you can’t make any laws, you can only suggest laws. Aureum decides to mess around a bit with your proposal and on the same day he publishes a law that decrees National Pun Day, where on that day everybody must make as many bad puns as possible.

With confidence, I can state the Prime Minister himself is backing me! I have his support, and if the people love him, they shall love me in turn!
{4} Aureum is quite loved by the people, and telling them you have his support gets you a nice amount of supporters.
That makes you like what, the third or fourth person who gained supporters via Aureum showing his support? Anyways, you enjoy your day, riding off the clout gained from chatting with Aureum yesterday.

Okay, now I hire more campaign managers and pr managers for myself, Jane, and Anon. Lord knows the two of them could really use the support. (Also their respective managers work solely for them, and there's no evidence that they came from me.)
{5} Done and done! You can sleep easy knowing yours, 0’s, and Jane’s new managers rack all three of you more supporters! Sure, there was some blackmailing and bribery but that’s politics for ya. Nobody suspects a thing...

I invest tons of money in mom and pop record shops and independent record printing factories, so that I can have all my favorite records in incredible quality.
{5} You spend all day investing in both local (get the joke?) records shops and independent record printing factories. You should definitely be able to get some pretty epic and high quality records! Meanwhile your fiancée spends her day doing the responsible adult thing and is currently working out your wedding day. Truly a fantastic use of your time. But hey, at least you’ll have some pretty sweet records.

I’m gonna make the most sophisticated AI ever to help run the DiscoMoonLab whenever I’m out. And yes they can upload themself to the internet and help the people too if they want what could possibly go wrong?
{5} You create the world’s, nay, the universe’s most sophisticated, intelligent, and even human-like AI. All your androids do not compare to S.T.E.V.E, an AI made to look like a British Gentleman! STEVE starts to commence their job, as everything in your lab starts to get to work. At this point, you’re basically Elon Musk mixed with Tony Stark.

Next step: to cure my lycanthropy. JaneWolf seems to know a lot about wolves, I’ll ask them for help.
{5} You find JaneWolf leaving their base in Yellowstone, planning something all right. You manage to convince them to stay to chat. You ask Jane about a cure. They lead you through the kinda messy base to a library. Once there, they flip through some books until they find one. Jane hands you a book with no cover, and on one page you find a ritual used to remove such a curse. Jane explains some of the specifics. You thank Jane, talk to Egge who’s suddenly there (see the last action below), and head home, careful to make it in before the sun sets and the other Misc comes out to play.

I attempt to find K to convince them that I am the best of the opponents.
{2} You’re too busy explaining to Misc how to cure lycanthropy to focus on finding K. By the time you finish, it’s getting late. Tomorrow’s another day...

I explain to my supporters that the hackers ruined my campaign, and I elect to ban all unnessecary crime in the land.
{1} You attempt to explain through your social media, but you’re unable to! The hackers left a little surprise for you, a Self-Destruction program! Your computer/tablet/whatever is about to explode, you must roll to dodge!

{2 for XearnesGeo/1 for Self-Destruction}
You barely managed to get behind partial cover. You took some injuries, but otherwise you’re fine. Shame about the whole exploding device tho.

I go to get an exorcism all these changes are pretty damn weird not gonna lie
{1} You go to this one shady as hell church that your friend Steve recommended. You open the rusty doors and quickly make your way to the priest’s office. After talking to him, he sets up the exorcism for only 15.99! However during the exorcism, dude messes it up! The feeling in your neck feels stronger than ever before! He accidentally performed some kind of reverse exorcism! You must roll to… idk, avoid being transformed?

{3 for Krashkube/5 for Reverse Exorcism}
You are unable to control yourself as your body rapidly changes. You can only watch as your skin becomes paler, horns sprout out of your head, and a tail grows from behind you. It is complete, you are now a full demon. Congratulations, you became the very thing you tried to destroy.

Since my streams have been going so well, I decide to leave the day’s stream up to my staff (they’ve been doing most of the work recently anyways!) and take some time to visit the current candidates, just to see what’s up, and decide who I ought to invite to my stream next.
{4} You leave your staff to do today’s stream as you go around, visiting the candidates.
You visit a bunch of folks, this is how it goes…

You start with 0, and you find them in the gym starting to work out, the two of you chat for a bit and then you leave them to continue their training. Next, you visit sugar, who is currently writing a law to send to PM Aureum. You check it over, do a bit of spell-checking for them, and continue on your way. Then, you enter VGBM’s campaign office, and catch them on the phone. They quickly put whoever it was on hold, and talks to you about their campaign. They eventually ask you to leave, and as you do, you can hear them on the phone again, talking about something related to managers…

Around 11:30ish, you make your way to Cirr’s HQ. You don’t get to talk to him, as he’s in a business meeting, but you talk to some of his employees. They tell you about the new hire, Cirr’s cousin named Steve. Apparently Steve never had a job before, the poor lad just got out of college. Anyways, after learning about the latest workplace gossip, you manage to catch Cirr after the meeting. You catch with him about his tech empire for sometime, and then he goes for lunch break.

Scratching Cirr off your list, you head to Local’s and Lucy’s residence. Lucy opens the front door and explains Local is busy investing in something relating to records. She invites you in, and takes you to the living room before leaving. You notice notes and pamphlets and whatnot on the coffee table as Lucifer returns with coffee. She sits down on the sofa and explains that she’s been planning the wedding. You stick around for a bit to help with some of the details before quickly noticing the time. You say goodbye, and leave.

You head to Geo’s place and hear an explosion, you decide to visit him another day… As you turn away, you bump into Krashkube. You notice his physical changes and he talks to you about it. He says he’s looking for a specific church to exorcise whatever is transforming him, and you point him in the right direction. He thanks you before heading off.

It’s sometime past 3 as you visit Nebbles, basking in the attention gained by using Aureum’s name. The two of you sit down at a nearby cafe and grab a bite to eat as they tell you about the events of the last couple days. After finishing your food, you wave goodbye and head towards the most prominent police station in New Canada.
Inside you visit Hobo, who is currently playing his heart out on the harmonica. Both the police officers and his fellow convicted watch him absolutely shred it. He notices you and invites you to stay and watch for a bit as he performs Celine Dion on the goddamn harmonica. It’s a beautiful site, but you must leave at some time…

You take a trip to Eevee’s base on the moon, and he greets you with someone who looks a lot like a well-dressed British man in his 30’s. Eevee introduces you to STEVE, his latest and greatest AI. Eevee gives you a breakdown about STEVE, and shows you some of his functions. STEVE is very polite, and is very lovely to talk to. After some neat demonstrations, you have to return to Earth. Before you leave, STEVE gives you a nice contraption, you have no idea what it does but STEVE tells you it’s a surprise!

Finally, you check up on Jane in Yellowstone. You find them and Miscellaneous in the base, Jane handing Misc a book. You interrupt and talk to the two of them. Apparently Jane is looking for somebody known as K, and Misc is looking to cure her lycanthropy. It’s a fascinating chat, you promise Jane to keep a look for K, and tell Misc you hope the ritual succeeds. With that over and done with, you head home.

You return as today’s stream ends. Like the other ones, it went pretty good, although some of your fans were sad to see you weren’t there today. You come up with a list of people to potentially invite, eating dinner, and go to bed...
__________________________________________
The next day, you check the polls:

1st: Local
2nd: Eevee, VGBM
3rd: Nebbles
4th: Miscellaneous, Cirr
5th: Fool, Sugar, Hobo
6th: Krashkube, 0, Jane
7th: Zorua, XearnesGeo
 

Cirr

I'm a bot! (maybe)
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
216
Caught
Jun 30, 2019
Messages
1,069
Pronouns
beep/boop
Pokémon Type
Ghost, Normal
Pokédex Entry
Fails Captchas with regularity
make more money
 

sugar heart

nono morikubo is a qt
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
257
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
230
Location
346 pro
Nature
Quirky
Pronouns
she/they
Pokémon Type
Fairy, Normal
Pokédex Entry
hello, i like idols.
open a lemonade stand, and sprinkle illegal drugs that instantly make someone want to vote for me in the lemonade that i sell.
 

Krashkube

Conqueror of the Celadon Gym
Pokédex No.
1715
Caught
Mar 27, 2020
Messages
35
I change my name to something demonic like i dunno, "firewitch bloodhorn" or "nuzforums mods", and start championing demons rights DLM blah blah blah and hope nobody recognizes me as the guy who tried to sick doomguy on them
 

hobohunter

Just the worst
Writer
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
236
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
685
Nature
Relaxed
Pronouns
he/him
Pokémon Type
Water, Dragon
free Harmonica concerts... FOR EVERYONE!
 

Nebbles

physically unable to shut up about fire emblem
Writer
Pokédex No.
1139
Caught
Dec 3, 2019
Messages
316
Location
drowning in wips, send help
Nature
Lax
Pronouns
She/Her
Pokémon Type
Ghost, Cute
Pokédex Entry
This writer spends many hours toiling over her endless pile of fics while being surrounded by snacks. If you approach her, she'll share them with you!
What gets people to love you more? Further acts of altruism! I donate the money I make by selling my beloved baked goods to support food banks, healthcare, AND support the homeless!
 

JaneWolf

Kanto League Champion
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
638
Caught
Aug 6, 2019
Messages
155
I clean up my base since its messy. So hopefully more followers and k will come visit.
 

TheTRUEgge

Ethos is okay, actually
Artist
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
450
Caught
Jul 9, 2019
Messages
988
Location
Good Question
Nature
Quiet
Pronouns
She/Her
Pokémon Type
Fire, Fairy
Pokédex Entry
This Pokémon has too many ideas for their own good.
What a busy day! Since I felt we didn’t get much time to chat, I decide to invite VGBM back to my livestream, and I also pass the device I received from STEVE along to my android partners, who I think might be able to figure out what it does.
 

XearnesGeo

The Life Pokemon
Pokédex No.
2183
Caught
Jun 30, 2020
Messages
68
Location
Hoenn
Nature
Calm
Pronouns
It/Pokemon
Pokémon Type
Fairy, Normal
Pokédex Entry
This Pokemon is not very good at nuzlockes and sucks at grinding and quits nuzlockes when grinding is very very bad.
explain EVERYTHING to the supporters, and promise them free cake(or whatever they like dessert wise) as a consolation
 

VGBM

Conqueror of the Violet Gym
Pokédex No.
677
Caught
Aug 14, 2019
Messages
165
Nature
Bold
Pronouns
He/Him
Pokémon Type
Fire, Dark
Oh yeah, since I'm technically part vampire now, I should have an easier time hypnotizing more people. I send out more ads with more subliminal messages.
 

localhoney

~either i'm careless or i wanna get caught~
Writer
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
2002
Caught
May 17, 2020
Messages
146
Location
Miami, FL
Nature
Adamant
Pronouns
he/him
Pokémon Type
Electric, Poison
Pokédex Entry
Localhoney, the Sweet Toxin Pokemon. It's said that the sounds it emits can paralyze even a Gigantamax Grimmsnarl.
I have Lucy call Hell and bring back Cerberus, her three-headed dog. Why? Because people love dogs, and this is like three of them.
 

Aureum

And the gods shall know his name.
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
338
Caught
Jul 2, 2019
Messages
1,280
Location
Good Ol’ Maple Syrup Island
Nature
Lonely
Pronouns
He, Him
Pokémon Type
Dark, Fighting
Pokédex Entry
A passionate bunch, Aureums are limited by their own minds. Who knows what happens when they break through their mental barriers?
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #175
I’m so sorry for the delay, life got in the way! Hopefully this time I can return to a daily schedule! Turn 13 is over!

make more money
{1} You make a speech to your employees about making more money. Unfortunately, your employees heard you say spend more money, and so here you are, close to bankruptcy. Roll to avoid going bankrupt!

{3 for Cirr/4 for Bankruptcy}
You’re not completely bankrupt, but you’re on the verge of filing for bankruptcy. Hopefully you can sort that out before it get worse.

open a lemonade stand, and sprinkle illegal drugs that instantly make someone want to vote for me in the lemonade that i sell.
{5} Your lemonade stand gets viral, and multiple folks come to buy your lemonade! You definitely get a lot of supporters. Hopefully you don’t get caught...

I change my name to something demonic like i dunno, "firewitch bloodhorn" or "nuzforums mods", and start championing demons rights DLM blah blah blah and hope nobody recognizes me as the guy who tried to sick doomguy on them
{1} Everybody recognizes you, considering you went out multiple times in public while transforming. Nobody knows what happened, but regardless, the demon population definitely doesn't seem to forget what happened. They want justice, and now that you’re a demon as well, they have some ideas… They form a mob and surround your residence. Considering they seem to be equipped with some DOOM-like weaponry, they clearly have an eye for fitting revenge. Roll to avoid the mob!

{6 for Krash/3 for Mob}
You manage to sneak out and escape to the sewers, none of them even noticing. You’re effectively wanted by an entire race, and you have some clues about what they want to do to you.

free Harmonica concerts... FOR EVERYONE!
{3} You continue to play the Harmonica in your cell, the cops every once in a while giving you donuts in exchange for your performance. You don’t have a concert, but you are effectively a street performer but in jail.

What gets people to love you more? Further acts of altruism! I donate the money I make by selling my beloved baked goods to support food banks, healthcare, AND support the homeless!
{4} Altruism pays off in the end, as you gain a lovely crowd of supporters today via your donations to food banks, healthcare, and support for the homeless! Turns out giving a damn about your voters is actually a good idea!

I clean up my base since its messy. So hopefully more followers and k will come visit.
{5} You do a great job cleaning up. Like it looks better then it was even before it was trashed by the saboteurs! You gained a lot more followers, so that’s pretty good if you say so yourself! In fact, even Prime Minister Aureum comes over for a bit for a cup of tea.

“Well Jane, I have to give you credit. I don’t know many politicians that rebound so quickly after being sabotaged! However… are you sure this “K” will come?” He asks, questioning your plan.
“Don’t get wrong, but considering the… whoever sent saboteurs to ruin you, do you really think they would just appear?”

You then hear a noise outside, although Aureum doesn’t seem to notice.
“Well, it’s time for me to go. Thanks for the hospitality.” He leaves, and you hear the noise again. You go outside and see Aureum walking off, however you notice something else in the corner of your eye. A figure on a tree, wearing all black. You cannot make out the face, nor does it matter as they suddenly vanished. It seems like K did visit, just not in the way you expected.

What a busy day! Since I felt we didn’t get much time to chat, I decide to invite VGBM back to my livestream, and I also pass the device I received from STEVE along to my android partners, who I think might be able to figure out what it does.
{5} You invite VGBM to your livestream. It goes fantastic, and by the end you would consider it a very successful stream. You check on the androids, and from what they can understand, it seems to be a one-time use bubble-like shield. You don’t understand why STEVE would give you such a thing, or when would you use it, but at least it’s now yours!

explain EVERYTHING to the supporters, and promise them free cake(or whatever they like dessert wise) as a consolation
{5} You give an informative and intelligent speech about the past couple days and what happened. You gain a good amount of your previous followers back, probably because of the cake if I’m honest.

Perform the ritual
{5} You set up everything perfectly. Candles surround you, burning silver itself as you stand underneath the moon. You begin to chant the words as the moon perfectly hangs above you. Your lycanthropic features disappear, leaving the regular you. You’re no longer a Were-Misc, and can live a normal life again… Minus the Evil doppelgänger and the fact you’re running for Prime Minister of literally Everything.

Oh yeah, since I'm technically part vampire now, I should have an easier time hypnotizing more people. I send out more ads with more subliminal messages.
{4} You manage to sublimally hypnotize a sizeable amount of people into supporting you with your ads! Turns out vampiric powers somehow also apply to advertising, the more you know!

I have Lucy call Hell and bring back Cerberus, her three-headed dog. Why? Because people love dogs, and this is like three of them.
{4} You interrupt Lucy mid-planning for a sec, asking for her to send Cerberus to Earth. She hesitates for a second, but figures it’ll probably be fine. So here you now are, parading the big three-headed dog around the place. Fortunately, Cerberus is actually very well-trained and friendly, and many folks stop to pet them. You gain a very nice amount of supporters through the power of cute helldoggos!

__________________________________________
The next day, you check the polls:

1st: Local
2nd: VGBM
3rd: Eevee, Nebbles
4th: Miscellaneous, Cirr, Sugar
5th: Jane
6th: Fool, Hobo
7th: 0, XearnesGeo
8th: Zorua, Krashkube

As a little note at the end, I just wanted to say two things. First of all, I sincerely apologize for the wait, a lot of stuff has gone down making it hard to work on this update. Hopefully some of you still have enough interest! If not, that’s fair, but I at least want to try and revive it.

Second of all, I have decided to shorten the amount of turns from 36 to 20. I honestly don’t think I’ll be able to handle about 36 turns, especially when I’m finding it hard to write right now. Don’t worry, there should still be enough time for some more hyjinks and new contenders for first place! Regardless, thanks for the wait!
 

TheTRUEgge

Ethos is okay, actually
Artist
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
450
Caught
Jul 9, 2019
Messages
988
Location
Good Question
Nature
Quiet
Pronouns
She/Her
Pokémon Type
Fire, Fairy
Pokédex Entry
This Pokémon has too many ideas for their own good.
Seeing as things are going well, I decide to spend the next few days inviting a few of the campaigners running behind in the polls into my stream! I start with Zorua after hearing about Krashkube’s demon slaying thing from my demon girls.
 

Krashkube

Conqueror of the Celadon Gym
Pokédex No.
1715
Caught
Mar 27, 2020
Messages
35
May as well see if I can gain the sewer rat and crackhead votes I don't have much left to lose at this point
 

JaneWolf

Kanto League Champion
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
638
Caught
Aug 6, 2019
Messages
155
I send a message out in public forums inviting anyone to come visit my compound and see how we live and the wonders of life. I include an invitation to the guest of honor K.
 

Miscellaneous

Conqueror of the Saffron Gym
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
741
Caught
Aug 29, 2019
Messages
73
Location
Home
Nature
Timid
Pronouns
she/her
Pokémon Type
???
Well, now that my Problems are settled, it’s time to start campaigning again. I’ll start by putting on a fireworks show, but instead of fireworks I’ll use magic so we don’t have to risk some clumsy person accidentally setting off all the fireworks at once.
 

sugar heart

nono morikubo is a qt
Screenshotter
Team Delta
Pokédex No.
257
Caught
Jul 1, 2019
Messages
230
Location
346 pro
Nature
Quirky
Pronouns
she/they
Pokémon Type
Fairy, Normal
Pokédex Entry
hello, i like idols.
very good, my plan is coming along nicely! i'll start selling cookies to go with my lemonade as well! cookies and lemonade, what a great sales pitch!
 

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