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Written Story Galar Mature dandelion

Thread Description
a retrospective Shield Nuzlocke | ii. "I wasn't told to bring anything but this..."

localhoney

-free as all the pretty horses in our dreams-
Writer
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
2002
Caught
May 17, 2020
Messages
51
Location
Miami, FL
Nature
Adamant
Pronouns
he/him
Pokémon Type
Electric, Poison
Pokédex Entry
Localhoney, the Sweet Toxin Pokemon. It's said that the sounds it emits can paralyze even a Gigantamax Grimmsnarl.
Oh damn, I meant to drop a comment on this yesterday but I guess I forgot. All the more reason to gush and read the chapter again.

You do such a great job with the relationships between characters in very little time, so that once they're interacting we already know how the relationship works and what to expect. Particularly teen Hop vs Sonia, I'm interested to learn more about that later on.

The entire Sonia and Leon relationship is painfully true to life. Prickly but occasionally a good natured jab or flirt gets through and kinda breaks down the ice a bit. Just to get immediately replaced when Sonia notices. I wonder if their relationship is like that purely as a result of Leon's celebrity merging with his absent-mindedness and Sonia getting left by the wayside, or something deeper.

Great update and I'm already dying for another one!
 

Magicforbeginners

Conqueror of the Vermillion Gym
Pokédex No.
2001
Caught
May 17, 2020
Messages
19
Nature
Adamant
Pronouns
he/him
Pokémon Type
Dark, Fairy
Pokédex Entry
Draws, writes, lives. Not well, but decently.
This is cute. Top-notch writing and descriptions. Sonia's great and I enjoy any fic with more Sonia, but what I most enjoy is when someone takes the simple character building blocks from the game and goes wild with it-which is exactly what happens here! I can't think of too much more to say, so I'll leave off by saying this is great and I want more of it.
 

Squiggy Azalea

big chungus pls DM me 😳
Moderator
🎇Contributor
Screenshotter
Team Omega
Pokédex No.
15
Caught
May 20, 2019
Messages
328
Location
italy
Nature
Jolly
Pronouns
He/they
Pokémon Type
Electric, Tough
Pokédex Entry
pizza pasta mamma mia
I really like how this run takes Sonia's point of view! It's often interesting to see how writers can flesh out certain characters by sharing their PoV, and this is no different! I also like ur characterizations of the swsh characters, esp. ur interactions with leon and sonia omg
really looking forward to see how this will go in the future 👀
 

SilverDoe

Conqueror of the Cinnabar Gym
Team Alpha
Pokédex No.
37
Caught
Jun 10, 2019
Messages
96
Location
Verdanturf Town
Nature
Timid
Pronouns
She/Her
Pokémon Type
Water, Ghost
This is a nice start to the story! Sonia does feel really relatable, and also I'm already sympathizing with her heavily. I was intrigued by her too, when I played Shield, and wished there'd been more of her, so it's neat to read this story from her perspective! I'm really curious to see where it goes from here and to see Sonia's story unfold.

I'm also so glad you included the "great cook" line and definitely pinpointed how ridiculous it is. I love how Sonia reacts to it. I'm really curious to learn more about her journey as a trainer and what all happened there. The hints we've gotten are already tantalizing. I also can't wait to find out exactly how Hop feels about her and why.

My biggest takeaway from these first two chapters is how much it feels like there's a ton going on beneath the surface. It sets up intriguing characters that I'm looking forward to seeing more of and getting to know even better.
 

Thirteenth

Number XIV
Writer
Pokédex No.
14
Caught
May 20, 2019
Messages
167
Nature
Quiet
Pronouns
She/Her
Pokémon Type
Fairy, Ice
Pokédex Entry
The reason she guides people all the way down to the mountain's base is that she wants them to hurry up and leave.
She freezes with her handle on the knob, takes a millisecond to compose herself, and then turns and gives him what she hopes passes as a pleasant smile. "Leon." He's staring, like she was the last person on earth he was expecting to see here, in this cottage where they practically grew up together. Like he's seeing a ghost.

Maybe that's not too far off.

The person on the other end of the line is still jabbering. Sonia blinks languidly, tilting her head to the side, and nods at his rotom phone. "You gonna…?"
He's in love.

"It has," she says, keeping her voice level even as her heartbeat quickens. Her eyes skim over him briefly -- she doesn't allow herself to linger. Not on his taut shirt, nor his five o' clock shadow, and definitely not on his amber eyes. "You're looking well."
She's also in love.

Her Boltund leans into her touch, stretching with a weary sigh, and her fingers brush over a thin, hairless line of scar tissue across his throat.

Her own throat tightens. Too young. They're starting them too young.
And I'm still :') at this


can I request an extra to see how Leon felt when he realized Sonia disappeared
 

Missy

i left my heart in alola
Writer
Pokédex No.
94
Caught
Jun 16, 2019
Messages
90
Nature
Lax
Pokémon Type
Fairy, Tough
Pokédex Entry
just missy now
I have a theory as to why Hop dislikes Sonia so much, and it's because..... she brought cole slaw. YUCK. Sonia, honey, you could have chosen anything else.

But seriously, how dare you tease all the past hang-ups and drama and not explain any of juicy details. Where's the promised retrospective? Hand it over, please!

Also, you better be glad your writing is so good otherwise I don't know how else I could read a run where you make Leon HOT. That is not a hot man. That is a man who rolled through a Lids store covered in tar. That is a man who got dressed on a dare. He makes his facial hair look like that ON PURPOSE, no ill-placed duct-tape involved! If nothing else it proves that Sonia really likes him under all that pent up resentment. "Taut chest, five o' clock shadow" my ass, Sonia, those do not overshadow the fact that he is wearing a QUILT. You just like Leon for Leon, woman. Get over yourself and propose.
 

Garish Garchomp

Friendly Neighborhood Landshark
Administrator
Moderator
🌱Featurer
Writer
Pokédex No.
43
Caught
Jun 12, 2019
Messages
106
Nature
Sassy
Pronouns
He/Him
Pokémon Type
Dragon, Psychic
Pokédex Entry
he's ok i guess
The contrast between Gizmo and Sonia at the start 😭 and of course Magnolia just fuckin carks it for the night to leave her to her anxieties. Classic.

So adorable to see Hop chatting with his friend and being so upbeat. Shame that’s gonna get destroyed when his quiet lil friend there starts demolishing everyone and their brothers. Literally.

Holy fuck though, you do not hold back when talking about the the Harris boys and it’s great. Hop being… well, I’d say an uppity and clingy lil shit, but I could also just say he’s 13 and leave it at that. Especially a 13 year old kid who’s the little brother of the champion, it just fits to a T, especially when it’s coming from this Sonia’s point of view. And then Leon being just a famous himbo, enough said really.

At least Victor is nice. And quiet (a nice and understated touch). And he chose (and immediately bonded with) Sobble, so he really is the hero of the story.

Again though, the way you fill Sonia with life, the consideration into her from the cocktail of emotions she’s going through at all times at this party, to the little moment with her bolted that says so much about so much (from her to the world as a whole), to just the last scenes there that show so much nerve and… not quite hurt, but almost? Just grappling with so much, really, but not in a way that just out and states it or anything. It’s such a joy to read your interpretation and expansion on all this, seriously.
 

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